Original subtitles

Babe, come in at the door.

Babe?

I'll be right there. Hold on.

Hello, officer.

What seems to be the problem?

Oh, good afternoon, sir. Are you the owner of this residence?

Yes, yes, yes. I'm the owner, and, um... Well, we've been getting complaints

from, uh, your neighbors about somebody possibly indecently exposing themselves.

Uh, do you mind if I take a look at your tableau? The neighbors?

Yeah. Oh, not another. There's no, uh,

indecent, uh... Sir? We're in our own home.

There's no... Sir.

Sir. If you are going to be showing your body off to the neighborhood, that

becomes everybody's problem.

Ah, yeah. I'm fully dressed.

Sir. There's no decent exposure. Sir.

Sir. What?

Sir, do we have an issue? No, there's no issue, but we're fully clothed here.

Sir. Sir.

Fully dressed.

Sir. Sir.

Do you have a warrant?

Those people...

Are you sure they're not, like, a prank?

Sir, do you have something to hide?

Is there an issue?

Uh, no, there's no issue. Then you wouldn't mind me living inside your

would you?

Excuse me, sir.

Yes, I guess you might as well come on in.

Door's open.

Well, what's the matter?

I don't...

See, officer, I'm pretty close here. There's nothing going on. I'm sure this

just a prank. Sir, they said it was on the next level.

So is somebody up there?

Were you up there?

Was I up there? No, I was reading my book, see? You sure, sir?

Oh, yeah, yeah. I was not up there. Is there anybody else who would go next,

Francis?

Yes. Yes, there is.

Who, sir?

That's my spouse.

Okay, can you please call her now?

Well... Is that really necessary?

Yes, sir.

Because I think that's just a big misunderstanding.

You know what I mean. Is there anybody else who lives here?

Excuse

me,

do you live here?

Yes. Do you know this man?

Yes, I hope so.

Is something wrong?

Ma 'am, I'm going to have to ask, were you dressed like that about maybe an

ago?

Yes. Is there a problem, officer?

Well, ma 'am, we had an indecent exposure complaint.

Indecent exposure?

In my own home?

Well, there was a window open.

Could you please come down here, ma 'am?

Do we need a lawyer here?

Is that my...

We shouldn't answer any questions.

I'm sure everything's going to be fine.

Well, ma 'am, I wouldn't say that.

If what you're telling me is true, I'll probably go to the second level. And if

there's a window there, we're going to have to talk about finances.

Finance? You have to leave $15 ,000 for it. Whoa!

$15 ,000?

For dancing in my own home?

Ma 'am, sir.

Ma 'am.

Sir.

It's going to be $50 ,000 because you danced in your own home, but you were

exposing yourself to the neighbors.

That's ridiculous.

And as far as I'm concerned, this is not your first complaint?

Well, I think this is a prank.

I really think this can't be. This is not a prank.

This is a law, sir.

Ma 'am.

Well, there has to be something we can do. I'm not paying $15 ,000 for having

fun, ma 'am.

I'm pretty cut and dry, ma 'am.

Honey, I don't... There's got to be another way.

I don't really see how there is. Now, I can go ahead and issue you a ticket, or

we can have you go downtown. I don't know how y 'all want to sort that out.

I don't think we need to do any of that.

What do you mean?

I mean, couldn't we, like, work something out, like, just with you, and

don't need to file a report about this?

That's what I tried to ask.

Sir.

Ma 'am. What are you two implying?

I mean... Honey, you don't mind, right?

Mind?

Uh, no.

Well... No, I don't mind. Right. Well, um... I'm sure you're a very busy man.

You have a lot going on and a lot of stress. And maybe...

I'd like to come upstairs with me for a little while.

Relax for a bit.

Ma 'am, I'm not leaving you from here unless I'm going to my car.

Even with me?

With you in my car? Well, I've been directing you because... No, no, no, no,

I mean... I mean, I guess I could do it on the couch.

Um, yeah, actually... You know what? Let me...

Um, as long as I'm down here, uh, maybe you should take something off, too?

Ma 'am, what are you implying?

Um, I'm implying that I think you could have a lot of fun with me, and then you

wouldn't need to file that report.

Ma 'am.

Sir. Officer. Sir?

Officer? Uh...

Are you all serious?

Yeah, absolutely.

You don't mind?

No, I was reading my book.

You've got a lot of reading left to do.

Okay,

on the couch.

I've got 20 minutes.

20 minutes is good for me.

Stop dancing with the window open.

I believe that officer.

He's just going to read?

Yeah, he's done reading before.

He don't know it.

Show me what you got.

Thank you.

No problem.

Fuck.

Look at you.

I don't know, I'm pretty weird.

That book good, Pam? Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, honey. I'm just thinking about my neighbors.

Don't worry about them.

They're being good parents.

Right. Mm -hmm.

Like your wife.

Mm -hmm.

Hi honey. Hi.

Please.

It is, excuse me, past time?

Yeah, past time.

Jack of all trades

Thanks honey. Sorry about that.