Original subtitles

person is like.

comes twice.

Well, Kimiko, looks like we're going to have to cut this short.

Let's see.

I got things to do.

Maybe a little prostate stimulation will do the trick here. Hold on.

Just stay right there.

Come for me twice, MacGyver.

If I can do it fair enough, that's when you hide the banana with his worst

enemy. He'll be unconscious long enough for us to finalize our arrangement.

I assure you.

that's big when we made our arrangements.

You'll get used to it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Oh shit, oh shit.

Fucking anxious.

That's right, yeah.

That's right, yeah.

Oh shit.

What about them?

girls and we met in a hotel.

the future, I'm in the dark.

Oh, baby, fuck, that's so good.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Wow.

I didn't think I was going to like that piercing in your tongue, but it's

incredible.

Wow

Okay.

Mother!

Oh.

Come on.

Is that duct tape in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

I instruct you, Mac.

Not really, but I'm pretty sure he's Asian. That doesn't narrow it down.

We're in China.

There's got to be literally hundreds of Asian people here.

You know, we're going to need a lot more to go on if you want the Phoenix

Foundation to help you find Penny.

Well, it's not just Penny.

They've got Lisa, my ex -girlfriend.

Lisa?

Why would they want a beautiful, sexy woman like that?

Maybe to lead me to the warehouse to kill me.

If this doesn't make any sense, why don't they just wait around and make

they finish the job?

I agree.

Let's get going. Where?

To the warehouse. We've got to look for clues.

Find out what rock these slimeballs are hiding under.

Pete, what are you doing?

Oh, dark!

Special

Agent

MacGyver, how wonderful of you to join us.

Murdoch, my longtime nemesis. I should have known it was you.

I'm surprised you didn't.

Who else do you think would use your own people?

To go against you.

Only you, Murdoch.

So what's the deal? What do you want?

From you, I don't want anything.

But for that matter, I don't even want anything from them.

Don't worry, girls. I got this.

Actually, I don't think you do. I got this.

You think I kidnapped them to lead me to you?

No.

I kidnapped you to lead me to him.

To Pete? What do you want with Pete?

What do I want with your boss, your mentor?

The leader of the Phoenix Foundation?

The foundation that foiled my plans for world domination from day one?

I want to crush him. Of course.

An act that, in the immortal words of Jerry Maguire, would complete me like

no other.

All right, well, what's Lisa got to do with it? What's kidnapping my ex

-girlfriend going to get you?

Lisa! Lisa, it's me, baby.

It's okay. I'm here.

Does that answer your question?

What are you talking about?

Don't you get it, MacGyver? Your ex -girlfriend, your boss, they're in love.

That's why she dumped you, MacGyver.

Now I'm going to use her to get Pete to do whatever I want.

Come on, you've got to be kidding me with this stuff, man.

I'm MacGyver. Nobody cheats on MacGyver.

I mean, I could build an airplane out of duct tape, man. I could...

Ski down a mountain on a gum wrapper.

Look at my hair, man.

I mean, come on, Lisa.

Say it ain't so bad.

Tell me you don't love Pete.

I used to, but I'm just not in love with Pete anymore. I'm with Penny now.

What?

Really? You know, this whole situation has really bonded me to you.

Vaginally speaking, I think you're rad.

I think you're rad, too.

Wait, wait.

Give me my magic box.

Don't try them. I want to see where this is going.

Excuse me. Do you have another one of those darts and you can just knock me

again?

So good.

And you still saved my life.

Thanks. Don't mention it.

Ditto. Thanks.

Ditto square.

Yeah. It's all right.

I've been through worse, right?

Besides, now I'm more focused on making sure Murdoch goes down.

I have to say one thing.

With friends like you, who needs enemas?