Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

"I'm dating you not"

Nacho, what's up?

I'm so happy, man.

I'm so upset.

Cause it's gonna be Paula and me...

...virtually alone in the office.

Paula, you know...

...I've told you a lot about her.

She's my office crush. Blonde, tall, pretty…

And on top of all I'm working with Roberto.

He thinks he's so funny, you know, so lame.

You think so?

Ask her out? Just like that?

Maybe I should flirt a little first.

I mean, I stare right at her...

...make some intelligent jokes...

Miguel? Miguel is not at the office...

He's on vacation.

Thank God. I'm not ready to see him yet.

No, I'm so over Silvia now.

Paula. Paula is the one I'm really into.

Sure, I need something...

...or someone to get over him.

Ok, you idiot... See you.

Double sugar, right?

Thanks.

Go get Paula!

You got it, dude!

Thank you!

No way! After all he´s done? I´m so over him.

I'm at the office now.

See you later, ok? Bye!

Thanks.

You know the best thing about working in August, Paula?

You don't really need to work much.

Well, in fact, it depends, you know?

Cause it's great there isn't much to do.

You don't need to stress out.

You see? There, I'm done for today.

Time goes by quite slowly, though.

When there's so much to do time flies...

Would you mind?

Sure, no problem.

Microtech Comprehensive Services, this is Roberto speaking. How can I help?

Hey, listen. This is not our fax number.

Our telephone number is 555 543 14 49.

Thank you.

Incoming fax call.

I see.

I took my vacation in June this summer, remember?

Not because of the lower prices…

Ok, maybe because of the lower prices too..

But mainly because beaches are quieter.

I usually go to Alicante. Not to Benidorm...

...cause it's so tacky.

I go to Altea, which is nicer.

Next year I'm going to Formentera with some friends.

Have your ever been there?

No… I'm sort of a Benidorm person.

Oh, I see… Benidorm is not so bad, you know.

Listen, Roberto, would you mind taking care of NeoLab Laboratories

I'm overworked.

Sure, I'll take care of it.

Would you mind?

Microtech Comprehensive Services, this is Roberto speaking. How can I help?

Hey, listen. This is not our fax number.

Our telephone number is 555 543 14 49.

Thank you.

Incoming fax call again. Probably redialling.

Probably.

Hey, Paula.

Would you like a beer when we finish here today?

I really can't today.

Pilates class?

No, that's Tuesdays and Thursdays.

So?

I just can't, sorry.

What about tomorrow?

Tomorrow's Tuesday. Pilates class.

Right.

Wednesday then?

I'm meeting someone.

Who?

You're such a busy person!

Pretty busy actually.

What time does your pilates class finish?

Days are longer now...

...you won't feel like going home right away, will you?

Roberto, I gave four chances to walk away...

...from this conversation with your head high.

Alright, I get it, you're putting me off.

Five.

I don't get it. Why won't you go out with me?

Six

Just like friends. We make fun of our boss...

...some beer, some laughs...

Now, seven, you're making me uncomfortable.

Come on! Not that I'm going to make a pass at you!

Roberto, may I remind you of Section 14...

...of our Employee Handbook?

Harassment?

No, 12, then.

Dating a Co-worker.

We're totally advised agaisnt it.

You go out for drinks with Miguel, our HR Manager.

I see. It's because of his money.

Look…

Ok, yes. It's all because of his money.

Now you can call me a bitch, a golddigger, whatever.

Let's just get this conversation over with.

It's ok. Money is a good reason.

Is it?

Yeah.

When a man fights for a woman...

...there are three key factors.

One, how much he makes.

Two, how fast his car is.

And three, how big his cock is.

And I'm sure Miguel has a really big tool...

...cause he always walks like a cowboy…

Stop it!

What now?

I just don't get why you are playing...

...hard-to-get with me today.

I'm a great guy.

I'm fun, I'm honest.

I buy drinks, cigarettes.

I even pay for dinner sometimes.

I always drive my dates home, and if she feels me up...

..but then she doesn´t feel like going all the way...

I don't call her a bitch or a tease or anything.

So, if you feel like going out with me some day just say it.

I'd be glad to. I'm just getting tired of acting...

...like a loser, crawling at you. I'm done!

That's fine with me.

You don't have my number, do you?

So, write down, 676…

Or you can friend me on Facebook.

I'm Roberto Fernández.

Well, there are thousands of Roberto Fernández...

...but there's this dome in my profile pic that…

This is not our fax number, damit!

What an attitude.

Are you alright?

Are you sure?

You look kind of upset to me.

Because I've been putting you off?

No… I mean, maybe, I don't know.

It's just you don't usually act like this.

You may be suffering from the August-in-Madrid Syndrome.

The boredom it causes may affect your mood.

I don't think so.

The air conditoning in the theaters...

...which makes you cold?

Is it because there´s no soccer?

Ok, I know what's wrong with you.

It's women's stuff.

If you're implying that I'm having my period...

...I'll throw the phone right at you.

I was just going to ask you if...

...everything's alright with our HR Manager.

Nice.

When a woman is upset it´s A, her hormones...

...or B, a guy, doesn't it?

You're quite simple-minded, Roberto.

You're cell is ringing.

Are you answering?

You want me to answer it?

Again?

Don't, Miguel. I said don't.

Just stop with your I'm-just-checking-on-you calls, Miguel.

And just stop that patronizing attitude of yours too.

Don't call me again, Miguel. Just don't!

Fine. Miguel just left me.

But just so you know...

...when a woman is upset it doesn't necessarily have to do...

...with her hormones or a guy.

But right now you are upset because of a guy.

Right now that happens to be the reason.

Do you wanna talk about it?

I'm very upset.

Because Miguel, HR Manger, Karate champion...

..and the greatest jerk of all has left me.

He's left me in August all alone, hot and bored..

..locked up in this office where I get to spend...

...the whole day with you.

Don't you think that's reason enough to be upset?

Why did he leave you?

I'm not so sure, actually.

Maybe because I'm like Madrid in August...

...now that I come to think of it.

Empty and filthy.

I was going for boring and suffocating.

What a bastard. He told you that?

Of course he didn't. I don't know what he told me.

First, he says that I was one of the most...

...unique women he's ever met.

But then he says that he feels that...

...our relationship is not working.

And then he says he's always gonna love me.

That's nice of him.

Nice?

By the time I realized I'd been dumped...

...my panties were already on...

...and I was out of his place.

The bastard left me using one of those HR Techniques...

...they use to fire people.

I was having wild sex with him totally oblivious..

...of it being breakup sex.

You know what really pisses me off?

That you would've enjoyed it more...

...if you knew it was the last one?

Exactly! No, God, no.

When I finally realized what was going on..

...and I gave him a piece of my mind, he said..

...that it was going to be very difficult to get over me.

That he was gonna miss me so much.

Why? I mean, seriously, why?

He thought that would make it alright?

I just don't care. I'm still feeling like shit

I had a girlfriend some months ago.

You had a girlfriend?

Why did she leave you?

It was me who left her

You did?

Did she cheat on you?

I mean, why did you leave her?

I don't know. I just felt that...

...the relationship was not working...

...and I couldn't figure out why.

You have no idea how hard it is to love someone...

...to love her so much...

...and at the same time to not be able to be happy with her.

And what's worse, to stop making her happy.

I don't know if it was the same for Miguel...

...but I felt poweless, truly...

I woke up every day trying to… Excuse me.

Microtech Comprehensive Services…

Go on.

So, I woke up everyday trying to find out...

...the discording note striking in our relationship...

...so that I could fix it and then restore...

...the harmonious sound of our own love symphony.

Did you just read it from the Internet?

No.

Well, maybe a little.

But just because I didn't know how to phrase it!

I thought you'd suddenly become a poet!

I just looked for that last metaphor.

What I mean is that...

...sometimes, love itself is not enough.

Someday that feeling is gone.

And then you have...

...to be honest to yourself...

...brave...

...and, as much as it hurts...

...let go of the one you love.

That sucks.

I know it sucks.

Come on, Andrea. Shit.

My friend just cancelled on me.

Oh.

All day locked up in here with nothing to do.

What a drag, huh?

Any ideas?

Are you up for a beer?

What are you up to?

I'm having a beer with Paula!

How come?

No idea. It must be the hot weather. Can't think.

How is it going?

Fine, but we haven't even drunk the first one.

Is it bad?

Worse

Need the emergency call?

Yes, please.

I'll call you in a while.

A while is too long, call me asap.

Good luck, bud!

No luck! Just beer!

Remember this one client with the funny voice?

Like in Futurama?

"I haven't received the shipment yet"

He sounded just like that!

Madame, put me through the Sales Department, I've had enough.

Go on, answer it.

No, it's nothing important. I'll call her back later.

You were right, this wheat beer is good.

See? I told you you wouldn't regret going on a date with me.

Well, this is not a proper date.

I see.

I mean, it's just some...

...afterwork drinks, nothing else implied.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I totally got that.

It wasn't that bad actually.

It got kinda awkward at the end, though.

She told me not to make any illusion.

That it was just as mates.

I mean, I had a pretty good time with him.

He's a funny guy.

I think I screwed it up, right?

I guess you may have screwed it up a little, bro.

Maybe you should give him another chance.

He could be your rebound guy.

To get over Miguel I may need a better rebound guy.

Paula, a guy's a guy. All guys are the same.

No way all guys are the same.

Why don't you ask her out again?

Just tell her you're asking her out on a proper date, man up!

I don't have it. I don't have the balls.

Of course you do!

I don't know if I want to get over Miguel.

Damian!

Would you take care of this, please?

Shall we grab a coffee?

That's why I came.

-So, shall i ask her out on a real date? -Sure!

Like I have the balls?

You do have the balls, sure you do!

Sure I do, I have the balls. Why not?!

Paula, I can't find the purchase order of this costumer…

Have you checked the purchase orders folder?

Yeah. Right. Thank you.

Listen, why don't we go out for a drink again?

We had a nice time. We laughed and all, right?

It got a little awkward at the end...

...but it was nice, though.

I mean, we should meet again...

...but not as in an afterwork thing.

Just like a date.

So, what do you say?

Should we meet again?

What? Sure. We´ll see

Maybe you should give Miguel another chance.

You think so?

If you think he's worth it.

Microtech Comprehensive Services, this is Paula speaking. How can I help?

Internet...

Thank you.

Roberto, remember I want to tell you this thing...?

Paula and her ex are back together.

No fucking way!

They are.

What are you gonna do?

Nothing. What can I do?

I don't know. Try to win her over.

She's too into that asshole.

If he's an asshole, he'll dump her again.

So what?

So that's when you get in and comfort her.

Classic strategy.

A classic strategy for scavengers.

Can you think of a better way?

What if I got back together with Silvia?

No way! That'd be mean.

You really hurt her the first time.

I'll just try to get laid at the Halloween party.

Sure.

About this thing I've been meaning to tell you.

Well... I´ve been...

Remember that Halloween party when we took...

...I mean, when we when out to that...?

Yes, yes, yes. I beat you at last. I beat you!

I finally beat you!

I've never beaten you before!

That was just about time!

Andrea...

...Miguel's left me again.

What?

Miguel has left me again.

No way.

You've just been together for like a month this time.

I know.

He's a real bastard.

And how naive of you to fall for it again!

So naive, so naive of me to fall for it again…

So naive, Paula, so naive.

So naive… Hey! Try to comfort me or something, will you?

I'm the one who's having a hard time here!

I mean, I'm sitting on a basin, wiping my nose with toilet paper...

...I hit bottom.

This is so frustrating.

What can I possibly say to this fool.

She just won't learn.

She's giving me a hard time.

Don't hit it so hard. You're ruining it. Just like this.

Paula, listen.

Do you really want to get over Miguel?

I do.

Are you following my advice?

I guess.

You guess, Paula?! Are you following my advice or not?!

I am, I am.

Show me more conviction, dammit!

I am!

More conviction, dam you!

Fuck you, Miguel!

Well done.

Right, Paula, right!

Now, you're going out there and have sex...

...with the first guy you come across, right?

Right.

Hey, hey, hey! Where are you going?

I'm having sex with the first guy I come across.

I do hope it's the guy who delivers the water tanks.

Just wash your face a little first.

Sure. Right.

Ciao. Ciao.

Sorry, Roberto.

Listen...

Are you going to the company's Halloween party?

I am.

I'm not.

Nacho, bro, those are getting nowhere.

As long as it's just the cupcakes getting nowhere...

No. I'm not making any pass at her tonight.

She's just been dumped. I'll take it slowly.

Very nice, Rober. You're such a gentleman.

Hello?

Just do it, dammit!

Any news?

Actually I do have some news…

Sorry, man, gotta go. She's here.

Hello?

What now Miguel?

I'm not coming to the company's Halloween Party.

I've got other plans.

I'm on date, I actually am.

What other guy Miguel? You and I are not together any more.

I just can't believe it! You just left me.

Meet you?

I don't think so, Miguel. We'll talk.

Make some room! I'm burning myself!

Shit, these are hot!

Why didn't you hold them by the handles?

I was hurrying cause I didn't want the movie to…

...didn't want us to wait to go on with the movie.

Shall we keep on watching it?

Ok.

Just a sec.

Hello?

No, this is not a hotel.

Yes, it is a similiar number, but this one ends in 23.

It's ok. Good evening. It's ok. Bye.

There must be a hotel with a very similar number...

...and they always get the number wrong.

So, shall we go on with the movie?

Sure. But why don't we drink our Cola-Cao first?

Sure, as you prefer.

Well, it's actually Nesquik.

Cola-Cao powders do not dissolve as easily and I don't like that.

Well, maybe Cola-Cao powders are tastier..

..but you just need to add more Nesquik powders.

Well, there's also this new Cola-Cao product they launched…

Well, it's not that new now…

..which dissolves easier… what's it called? Turbo?

Yes, I think so.

I prefer Nesquik powders too.

Besides, it's so cute you've prepared Coca-Cao for us…

Nesquik.

Nesquik…

The first time a guy invites me over, it's usually whisky instead.

Would you rather whisky?

No, no no, no.

But I'm assuming we're not having sex tonight, right?

Well, I don't know...

...if you feel like it…

Just kidding!

Ok. Shall we keep on with the movie?

Sure.

I love horror movies full of murders, you know...

..because they're are actually very romantic. Love always wins.

What?

If there's a couple who love each other...

...very very much, they both live.

But if there's a couple who don't love each other very very much..

or they just have sex, they both die. Or else only the girl lives.

And they always live?

Just those who love each other very very much.

Oh my. There she goes, right into the lion's den.

It's all dark. Nobody in there. And yet there she goes.

Come on, get out! The brunette was wiser. Oh my, she's so dead.

Hello?

No, this is not the Metrópolis Hotel.

No, I'm afraid I can't recommend you any good hotels around.

It's ok. Good evening. Bye.

I must be cursed or something.

Ever since I was a kid I've been getting wrong calls.

So, what happened? Is the blondie dead?

Her head's been chopped off.

That was pretty obvious.

Shall we keep on watching it?

Now that the blondie is gone I don't really feel like it.

Let me drive you home.

No, no. Well, maybe later.

Ok.

Roberto...

I haven't thanked you for staying here with me...

...instead of going to the company's Halloween party.

It's ok, I wasn't really in the mood.

Why didn't you want to go?

Becase you didn't want to see Miguel?

No, no. Screw Miguel...

...he's such a dumb ass.

Besides, I'm having a really good time with you.

I'm glad I got to know you better...

...cause I didn't like you back when we started working together.

You didn't like me?

Not a tiny bit.

I thought you were the classic womanizer wannabe.

So jerky. So "hey, babe, need a hand".

You know, super lame, so lame, the classic lame and jerky guy.

Ok, I think I got it.

Don't be mad. That was just at the beginning.

Before you and I got to know each other better, back in August.

We had been working together for a year and a half by then.

I know.

It's just that sometimes it's difficult to reach...

...the inner self of others.

And you are the multilayer kind of guy.

Meaning?

Let's see.

Your first layer shows...

...a super lame, super jerky guy.

Ok, I think I got that layer just fine.

Go on to the next one.

The next one shows...

...a sensitive, deep, sensible man.

Go on, go on.

And deeper inside...

...you are not lame, but caring.

When you relax your jokes get smarter...

...even funny now and then.

You then realize you're not lame at all, you're a charm.

I don't know.

Ok, next layer.

Now it's your turn to tell nice things about me.

Alright, alright.

Your first layer shows a distant and cold person.

Hey!

Wait, it's just the first layer.

Go on to the second one then.

Your second layer, after I got to know you better..

...shows an even colder person.

Hey! Come on!

I was just kidding. Well, kind of.

Ok, deeper down...

...after crossing several protective layers...

...you're sweet and loving...

...and as time goes by your initial coldness gets warmer.

Mild at first, like an autumn morning...

...and then it gets warmer...

...like a summer night.

I just knew it!

It's a very cool calendar my mum just gave me.

Hello?

I said no. I just can't meet you, ok?

Just don't push it Miguel, alright? We'll talk.

Miguel, huh?

Yes. He won't let it go.

He's just phoned when you were preparing the Cola-Cao...

Nesquik cocoas.

Nesquik, right.

So, are you coming back together?

Well, no. I mean, not now. But what's it to you?

I see.

What?

I see what's going on in here.

You're just here so that I can make you forget about your ex..

...who is not here now.

But if your ex comes back then I, that I'm here for you now..

...won't be here any more.

But if your ex doesn't come back...

...I'll still be here for you.

What the hell?

You're just using me to get comforted!

And I mean to get psychologically comforted...

...cause it could be physically comforted!

You just want me to entertain and flatter you.

Is that it? Well I see what's going on in here too.

Do you?

I do. You just wanted to get laid...

..taking advantage of the fact that I'm all sad and vulnerable.

Lurking around like a scavenger. That's right, a scavenger!

A scavenger?! What kind of a scavener offers you cocoa instead of whisky?!

This is not a fucking hotel!

I've had enough with the fucking hotel already!

I'm leaving. I just don't like this new layer of yours I'm discovering.

Leave then. I don't like this new layer of yours either.

Ok, I'm off.

Ok then.

It's raining.

You should stay until it stops.

I'm staying then.

Just because I don't wanna get wet.

It's so annoying.

So very annoying, actually.

Would you like another Nesquik?

I'd rather have a Cola-Cao instead.

You just said that to hurt me.

I did. I said that to hurt you.

Why would you want to hurt me?

Cause I'm upset.

And why are you upset?

I'm upset cause Miguel dumped me again.

And I'm upset because I'm so silly I didn't even see that coming.

And I'm upset cause you're right.

I'm using you to get over Miguel and I feel terrible about that.

Now you're upset too, aren't you?

I am.

Not because you're using me to get over Miguel...

I kind of knew that already.

So?

I'm upset because...

...I'd thought I would make it happen.

But I guess one night isn't just enough.

See, Roberto...

I don't know, I'm just not sure…

You're not sure if you like me...

Kind of.

Well, I think you like me.

Or else you'd have left, even though it was raining.

Paula, I just want to make you forget about Miguel.

Roberto, it's just… I'm scared.

About what?

I'm scared… Scared that I may hurt you.

I'm not quite over Miguel yet.

In a relationship pain is granted.

You need to take the risk.

It's like a horror movie, right?

What do horror movies have to do with this?

Paula, just focus.

It's there! I said so myself.

You know you're getting scared cause people are getting killed...

...but only the couple who love each other very very much...

...survive.

I know, but we don't love each other very very much.

In fact, just a second ago you weren't even sure whether you liked me.

Let's take the risk then.

Shall we?

I'll race you! Let's go!

Oh, yes!

What are you doing?

Holy crap, Roberto! This is awful!

Will she like leek soup?

Do you think that's a good starter for a Valentine's dinner?

I'm sure that'll do.

Now, speaking of Saint Valentine's...

...guess who I'm having dinner tonight with.

Roberto! How are you doing?

Rosa! I'm doing great, actually.

I know.

Nacho told me you have a new girlfriend.

Mum, seriously.

I do. We've been together for almost 4 months now.

That's nice.

-Is she pretty? -The prettiest.

-Is she nice? -The nicest.

-Is she tidy? -The tiddiest.

-Good in bed? -The beddest…

Mum, seriously!

What? Those things are also important.

Is sex good?

Well… To be honest, we haven't had sex yet.

You haven't fucked her yet?

Mum, seriously! I'm begging you.

No. I don't wanna rush it.

You just don't when you meet the girl of your dreams.

So you don't fuck in your dreams or what?

I know, I know. You're right.

I promise I'll try tonight, ok?

Don't be a pain in the ass! I'll see you later.

Clumsy as always, Robbie!

Silvia!

It's been a long time!

Yeah, quite a long time…

New haircut?

Well, kind of…

You look great, so great actually. I like it.

Here, I'll give you a hand.

Are you heading home? Can I help you carry this?

Yes… I mean, no…

Well, yes, I'm going home, but you don't need to help me.

Are you sure?

I'm meeting someone… I'm meeting...

Someone's waiting for me.

Your girlfriend?

-Hello? -Who are you talking to?

Oh, no one…

I'm just round the corner.

Hi.

Hey, here you are!

Paula, this is Silvia.

Hi! I'm Paula, Roberto's girlfriend.

Oh, hi! I'm Silvia, nice to meet you.

I'm Robbie's ex girlfriend.

Shall we go home now, Roberto?

Yeah, let's go. Well… it was good seeing you.

Same here.

By the way Robie, we must get together sometime...

...you still have some of my stuff.

Oh, yes, that's true…

What now?

Nothing.

What is it?

Nothing, it's just that… when were you going to tell me..

...your girfrend was that… that…

...nice?

Keeping secrets, huh Roberto?

I don't know what bothers you so much about it.

Well, because…

...just because!

Well, well, well, our complete Customer Service team!

Miguel, hi.

Hi there.

How do you do?

Work meeting?

-No. -Yes.

Yes?

Busted, huh?

So are you with this… him?

Well, sort of.

Yes, we are together.

Well, then I'm very happy for you two, lovebirds!

I'll see you tomorrow, eight o'clock sharp!

As usual, yeah.

What did you mean "sort of"?

Roberto, come on, try to understand…

Understand what?

I said it to avoid having problems at work, that's all.

Sure.

Roberto, I'm with you, one hundred percent, okay?

Well, one hundred percent...

The sex thing again, seriously?

Ok, if this is so important for you, let's do it right now!

Ok, let's do that. Let's have sex.

So that's what you want from me, huh?

You just want to go upstairs and fuck me. Very nice.

Hey, what's up?

You looked awesome the other day Robbie, you lost some weight.

Did I? I hadn't realized.

Doesn't your new girlfriend tell you these things?

Not really.

Thats too bad…

So, Robbie...

...when can I come pick my stuff?

Well, actually… Anytime you like…

What stuff?

The fun-fun box.

Oh… thing is I don't exactly know where it is right now.

Then look for it.

Ok, I'll do that and give you a ring when I find it, allright?

Silvia, what are you doing?

Waxing.

Oh…

Bikini waxing.

It's true, it works!

Thing is I'm a psychologist.

And don't you work as one?

Unemployed for two years now.

You're so intelligent, look how fast you found a new job!

Ok Miguel, what's up?

What is this?

Look, Miguel, the only reason I came here...

...is because you said you wanted to discuss a work issue.

Oh my goodness...

I didn't remember you had this!

From the day you tought me to prepare tomato soup

That's true! And you ended up being pretty decent at it!

I had a good teacher.

A cup of ice cold white wine?

No, I'd rather have a wheat beer, if they have any.

Wheat beer?

Yeah, wheat beer.

I discovered it a while ago and...

...the great thing about it is the flavor remains...

Room 5!

That's our room. Let's go!

Come on!

Please let me through!

Good evening.

No stools in room 5, so everybody will need to stand.

Come on in!

I couldn't find a job, so I started drinking heavily.

Oh yeah, the usual thing…

...but you're a good Spaniard, aren't you?

Absolutely

Remember. Budget restraints.

You work as a cleaning lady...

...given your past as an alcoholic it's very complicated.

Yes, sir.

And you probably have nobody to act as a guarantor, right?

No, sir

And how do you intend to get a credit?

You're just a penniless loser.

Yes, sir.

Anyway, never lose faith! Cheer up!

I must go now, I have a meeting.

Well, did you enjoy the experience?

I loved it! It was totally unexpected...

...with the actors standing so close to you!

A special place for a special girl.

But didn't you have something to tell me about work?

Oh yes, a very important thing actually.

How important?

Don't you worry, it's not bad news at all!

You're getting a promotion.

Starting Monday, you'll be my secretary.

But I'm very happy with Roberto…

I mean, working in Customer Service.

Can I please get a cup of white wine and a wheat beer?

Thing is the company is making cuts.

I either relocate you or one of you has to be sacked.

Miguel, you can relocate me anywhere you like...

...but I'm not falling for it again.

That's the last thing on my mind, believe me.

Fancy another go?

Impossible to follow your story. Seriously.

But you two are doing ok, right?

Not so ok.

Because your ex boyfriend is forcing you...

...to work with him. Bastard.

And there's Silvia, trying to get back together with you.

So, just because you had a great time...

...just once you have feelings for him again?

But you do want to stay together, right?

Perfect. So let's see how to move forward with Roberto.

And you haven't already…?

Not even a little?

Not even second base? Nothing?

Absolutely nothing?

At the cinema, in the car, at her door?

Well, I'd say that's exactly the problem.

You need to have sex now.

I'm serious. Now.

After all, time waits for no man.

It has to be today. Tonight.

So you have nothing to say?

Nothing to say about what?

I don't know, make some excuse, or something.

Or at least the usual...

...that it's the first time it happens to you.

I wish. But no, it's not the first time.

It isn't?

Well, it doesn't happen to me often...

...maybe once, because it happens to everyone...

...and I'm still half drunk, it's 3 am, I'm tired, it's normal.

But it's also 3 in the morning for me and I've drunk as much as you.

But in this situations pressure is on us guys.

What pressure? Come on!

I mean the pressure of the first time.

Shut up...

...is this your first time?

Yes... No way, the first time for you and me.

Oh, for you and me, ok, ok.

Well, if it happens to you with every girl you screw...

...you won't have many coming back.

It only happens with girls who are very special...

...and who I like very very much.

...but don't worry, after sleeping a tiny bit I'll be fully on.

How do you want me to sleep, I'm on now!

Yeah, me too, but now I can't.

And when you can't, you can't.

But there are other options, right?

Options? I need this for everything!

But I don't.

Ok, I see. You mean... You want me to...

Of course, that's done, come on, you'll see, here we go!

Ok, I don't feel like it anymore.

I know, it's way too late.

Let's sleep a little bit and then when we wake up…

But I don't know if I'll feel like it in the morning...

...I'm not into wake-up sex.

We don't need to wait till tomorrow...

...an hour should be enough for me.

Well, sometimes. I'm just going to fall asleep straight away...

...and you'll see, sometimes with half an hour, or even ten minutes…

Roberto!

Roberto!

-Andrea, can you talk? -No.

-Shit, were you asleep? -Yeah.

-Well, but you can talk now. -Yes.

Ok, listen, I'm at Roberto's place.

Have you banged him yet?

-What, no, we haven't done it in the end. -Why?

-Because it wouldn't get up. -You dumb...

No, but, listen. I think I don't want to sleep with him anymore.

You don't?

No, cause if we do, it'll be like taking the next step...

...in our relationship.

So?

Well I don't know if he's the right one.

Are you comparing him to your ex?

Of course I'm comparing him to Miguel, Andrea...

But do you have fun with him?

Yeah, I mean, we are fine when we are together...

...he looks at me that way, he makes me feel so special, you know?

And he makes me laugh and all…

I'm a fucking mess, really, I don't know what to do.

-Go home. -I should go home, right?

Just go home.

Ok, I'm going home and tomorrow...

...we'll talk it through and I'll tell him.

Ok, I'll call you back. Thanks. Bye.

What's up, what's up?! What? What?

-Fuck! All right, all right! -What's wrong? What's wrong?

Holy crap, I had a horrible nightmare, fuck!

We were lying down like we are now, like before we fell asleep, right?

And then I was sleeping and I turned over to kiss you and…

...holy crap, you just weren't there anymore!

And what else?

That's all. What do you mean what else?

I mean that's nothing, and that was your nightmare...

...that I wasn't there… was that it?

Don't make fun of me!

I thought you had a stroke, Roberto, big deal!

When you put it that way…

But there's what you see when you're dreaming...

...and there's what you feel when you're dreaming.

I suppose that's true.

And what I felt when I saw you weren't there was horrible.

But it's so cool to wake up from a nightmare...

...and realize it wasn't true, it is such a relief!

Well, listen. Now that we're up I'd like to tell you something.

No, enough with the talking, let's do it.

But didn't you need to sober up?

Yes, but that dream made me realize...

...I can't wait any longer.

Yeah, but I think we should sober up.

Oh but I'm totally sober now!

I told you that a little sleep...

Ok, Roberto, but seriously… What are you doing?

Roberto, get out, we need to talk.

Roberto, please, I mean it.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my.

Ok, tomorrow I'll let you know that I want to break up with you…

-Did you just say something? -No, everything's just perfect.

What the hell is that?!

Paula?

Paula? Are you asleep?

Paula...

...there's a little spider crawling up your foot.

Careful, it´s gonna bite you!

Paula, there's a little spider crawling up your foot

Careful, it´s gonna bite you!

Hey, bro, are you still partying?

Yeah, at the Downtown.

You bastards!

And what are you doing up?

Me? Nothing, I'm at home, with Paula.

Shut up, man! Lucky you! And how was it?

Fucking awesome, it was great!

But the thing is I'm scared shitless…

How come?

Cause when we finished she was all weird...

I don't think she liked it.

But did you do that thing to her?

Of course I used the angel technique, dude.

And did she like it?

From the screaming I'd say a lot...

Listen to me, do you like her?

Of course I like Paula, I like everything in Paula.

When I look at her it's like time stopped...

...and when she looks at me, I don't know...

...she takes me to another dimension.

Don't think about it. I'm sure it's nothing.

You're right...

I'll ask her tomorrow morning when she wakes up.

Congratulations! Congratulations!

Thanks, bro!

-We need to talk. -We need to talk.

-You go first. -No, you first.

-No, you first. -No, no, you, you, you!

Ok, I'll go first.

Well...

...you know how I wasn't sure about us, don't you?

Because I'm still not quite over Miguel...

...and I wanted to take it easy...

...so none of us would suffer and so on…

So the thing is, I have given it much thought...

...and I'm pretty sure we don't stand a chance...

...from what I see.

So, the best would be for us to take a break...

...a little break, well, not a little one...

I mean the best would be for us to break, to break up...

What did you have to tell me?

I don't get it.

Well, as I said...

...the best would be for us to stop...

...before we take the next step.

You mean the next step like, for example...

...having sex after waiting for four months!

Exactly! No, shit, no.

I should've told you before doing it.

Yeah, but you've told me after.

I know.

You're telling me after the best sex of my life.

And mine.

So you liked it?

Don't change topics!

What do you mean we don't stand a chance?

I don't know, Roberto.

I don't think you are what I always dreamed of.

But wait...

...even if I'm not what you always dreamed of...

...how do you feel when you look at me?

So, Roberto.

Remember this thing I've been meaning...

to tell you about for a while now?

I miss Paula, bro.

I know. Just listen.

Now she's working as a secretary for her ex.

I know. Just listen.

I don't think they're back together, though.

Aren't they?

No… But I guess it's just a matter of time.

I just don't get her.

The company is throwing a party tonight.

You do like parties at your company.

I'm sure they're making out tonight.

That wouldn't be very wise of her.

You know what?

I think I'm calling Silvia.

Yes. I'm calling her...

...to give her back the fun-fun box.

I don't think that's such a great idea.

I think it's the best thing to do, too.

Making up with her.

Roberto...

...have it your way.

Call me the day you realize you're not the center of the universe.

Sure. I'll call you later.

Crap! I have nothing to wear.

-How about this one? -That one I love.

It's simple, you look great in it.

How about this one?

What do you think?

That one's amazing.

It's just… a little too much, maybe.

-You think so? -Kind of.

The other one's more comfortable.

Don't you think that's too tight?

Maybe a little.

But you know, no pain, no gain.

No, no, Paula.

It is always a bad idea to wear a dress that makes you suffer.

You get used to it eventually.

No, Paula.

You never get used to suffering.

You may think you look pretty at first...

...cause everybody will stare at you...

...and you'll feel so confident and all, right?

But then as time goes by...

...you'll start feeling uncomfortable...

...you won't feel confident any more.

Cause you'll stop having fun...

...and then you'll regret not having chosen the other one...

...and you'll want to get home to get rid of it.

But it's too simple. Weird.

People just don't get it.

The dress.

You look amazing in that dress.

What are you doing here?

I'm telling you you look amazing in that dress.

Thanks.

Is it the one I gave you?

The one you gave me? Maybe, I don't know.

I think it is. Let me see.

Miguel, what's all this?

This is here, and now.

I get that. I mean, and then what?

Don't you worry about the future.

Let's focus on the present.

Miguel...

...when I focus on the present with you it is all so good...

...but then the future comes and I end up crying like mad.

Love's like that.

It's complicated.

Is this love?

But of course it is.

Don't you love me too?

I do.

I thought you didn't want to see me.

I've been busy, that's all.

Aren't you busy anymore?

Not so busy now.

Now that you're not with her?

How do you know we're not together any more?

So...

...can we have sex now?

I mean, if you put it like that…

You like it?

Yeah.

You like it?

Yeah.

You like it, huh?

Actually, I don't.

What do you mean?

I just don't like this thing you're doing.

I know you'd get tired of her and come back to me.

She dumped me.

And then you realized...

...I am the one you really love, right?

Not exactly.

I don´t get it.

You used to like it a lot.

Not so much.

So, what do you enjoy now?

I like the angel technique.

The angel technique?

What's that?

Tell me.

For God's sake, Robbie! We had the fun-fun box.

I know.

Say you don't miss the box.

The box has just nothing to do with this.

No, Silvia, no, no, no, no.

Not the box, please. No, no. Silvia, don't.

Just say you don't feel like using the fun-fun things.

Of course I do. That's just not the point.

Come on, Robbie, look at the box.

No.

Look at the box...

...and remember all the good times we've spent together.

I won´t.

I miss the angel technique.

Oh, God.

There's no way I'm doing that to you.

Why not?

Well, because… because...

Oh, come on! It's just…

Do you like me, Miguel?

Of course.

That has nothing to do with me doing that angel perversion to you.

Technique.

Technique. Whatever.

You need to understand that's not for everyone.

I'm telling you.

Just tell me, Miguel.

What do you like about me?

Are we really doing this right now?

Alright…

It all can be the way it used to be.

The way it used to be…

If we go back to that, then it will end up like this again.

So what's the point in going back to that...

...if that will just lead to this...

...cause this would be that and then this again.

I mean, it just won't work, Silvia.

I love you. You know that.

But I'm in love with Paula.

But she dumped you.

I know.

That fact doesn't change my feelings for her.

I don't get what you see in her.

She has loads of good things.

But even if she didn't have any, when I look at her...

I don't need anything else.

Your hair, your eyes...

...your mouth...

...your smile.

I like you hands.

I like your boobs.

I'm sorry.

So what the hell are you doing here?

-I live here. -Not that, you idiot.

If you are so sure about it, go find her...

...and tell her what you just told me.

Come on, Robbie, wake up!

Let's go find that lucky bitch and tell her what she's missing.

I took my car to the repair shop.

Do you love me?

Of course I do. A lot.

So, you've dumped me twice because…

Because I'm a total asshole.

Exactly.

You bitch, you just don't know what you're missing.

No, that's not what Silvia said.

What would you say, Nacho?

Roberto, just say what you want.

I'm still mad at you.

I'm sorry, man.

I know I've been quite obsessed with the Paula situation.

But you gotta understand me, bro.

I'm freaking out.

Oh, come on!

What now?

I've just realized what an asshole you are.

So I guess I must be an asshole too.

What are you doing?

What do you mean?

Do you really think we're having sex or something?

So, are you really leaving?

Then she grabs her heels and leaves! She leaves!

She just leaves!

I mean, after all that had happened.

After doing her the angel technique!

After the angel technique?

You know the angel technique too?

Nacho told you about it, huh?

Not exactly.

I told him.

So, Nacho, are you… you are…

Why didn't you just tell me?

So you two are…

I mean, like, together…

Holy crap!

So, what do you think of all this Paula situation?

Sorry, wrong person.

I'm gonna find Roberto to tell him I'm sorry...

...for letting you give me that disease you're suffering from.

And what disease would that be?

Fucking shallowness.

Have you seen Paula?

I´m sorry, but...

I didn't give you anything.

You're just like me.

And the day you get tired of the fatty...

...you'll come to me.

I think you'll need to come on your own.

Hi there!

Nacho, what are the odds!

Odds, huh?

Paula, you've been hiding round the corner for 15 minutes.

That long?

Yes.

I'm really upset, Nacho.

Roberto is not answering the phone.

Paula, you haven't always made it easy for him either.

Please help me, Nacho. Talk to him.

I'm begging you. Call him or something, because…

Hi, sweetie. What's up?

Hi.

Oh, hi.

Well, this is Carlos, my… Well…

Ok, ok. So, so, you two are…

That's cool.

So, do you think Roberto is going to forgive me?

Oh, come on! Not again!

Alright then! I'll talk to Paula.

Great.

A little spider.

What?

What I feel when I look at you...

...is a little spider crawling up my feet.

That time we did it you phoned Nacho to tell him...

...and you said a little spider was crawling up my feet...

...to make sure I was asleep.

But I knew that wasn't true and I just pretended to be asleep.

So you heard it all…

All of it.

And then you ran away.

I just freaked out.

You just freaked out.

Cause everything you said was so nice...

...and nobody had felt that way for me before.

And that's why you ran back to Miguel.

I was scared I couldn't live up to that.

I wasn't sure of my feelings for you.

As usual.

But now I do know what I feel about you.

-And what do you feel? -A little spider.

What the hell do you mean?

I mean I love you, dammit!

Why on earth are you running?

I don't know.

So, why were you running?

I don't know. Sadness, anxiety, hapinness...

I love you too.

"I'm dating you not"

I´m pregnant.

This is not fucking OR 5, dammit!

Here, they say can drink camomile tea.

This is disgusting.

What would you like him to do for a living?

-For example... -Just don't say it. Please.

Ok. I won't. Today's your day.

But being a porn actor must be awesone.

Or he can be an architecht and then as a hobby…

Are you ok?

Well, giving birth.

They are short-staffed, because of the budget cuts.

And today's a full moon. That's why there are so many women...

...giving birth at the same time.

So, because of the budget cuts...

...and since all Gypsy, Chinese and Ecuadorean women...

...agreed to give birth at the same time...

...I am delivering my child here in the hall...

...as if I was from Congo.

Shit. I'm sorry. So sorry.

This is not me speaking, it's the pain.

Hurry up.

I'm gonna make a hideous mother.

Don't say that. You're gonna make a wonderful mother, you'll see.

I'm not. I wouldn't know how. I'm clueless.

What if I'm breastfeeding him at 3 a.m...

...and I fall asleed and I suffocate him with my boob.

What if we don't know how to help him with his homework...

...and he ends up working in a Customer Service Department just like us.

It's too bad that we're not married.

And that we don't even live together.

That would make things much easier.

Paula.

I need to tell you something.

Now?

Yes.

Alright then.

Paula.

What?

I don't think I'm ready to become a father.

What?

It's ok, Roberto.

We can still find a solution.

I can...

...cancel the birht.

And I can ask the baby to wait and come out...

...I don't know, in two or three years!

You can feel insecure about becoming a mum...

...but I can't?

How can you be such a jerk...

...to tell me this in the delivery room.

When the subject came up!

The whole idea of this little human's life depending on me…

...made me feel...

...weak... vulnerable...

I just need time to provide you with the things you deserve.

But I don't think you're getting the time to prepare yourself...

...cause the baby's coming.

I know.

No, I mean. It's coming now.

Oh, you mean like right now.

Hold on, hold on!

-Paula. -What?

I wanted it to be a surprise until you got discharged but…

...well, there.

What?

I've rented an apartment for the three of us.

Rented it, furnished it and decorated it.

-Seriously? -Yes.

-You've decorated it too? -Sure

-With a room for the baby too? -Yes

Oh, Roberto, I don't know what to say.

He's fallen asleep.

It´s yours.

There.

Hi, Andrea.

What's up?

The baby's in the crib.

No, I'm just exhausted. I haven't slept for three days.

It's ok, tell me.

Ricardo texted you?

What did it say?

Yes. Yes.

Come on, Nacho, bro. Now's not a good time.

No, eleven a.m. it's not a good time.

-The baby's just fallen asleep. -He's totally into you, Andrea.

-I'm positive. -Don't make a big deal of that.

I couldn't tell…

I know, but I'm not sure I get that gay stuff.

He's broken up with Carlos.

She's falling in love again.

No one thought you were gonna be that good toghether, right?

Two years already?

Oh man! I´m fucked up!

I´ve told you already.

To work out up here is stupid!

You are right... it´s just...

I´m out of here.

Fucking trunks!