Original subtitles

Welcome back to The ryan king show.

It's a brand new season, Football fans,

Full of hope and promise.

We've eaten the broccoli That is baseball,

And now it's time For dessert.

But first, today. Cut day.

Rosters slashed to 53 men.

You woke up this morning A denver bronco,

You'll go to bed A gym teacher.

Damn it!

I'm a coach, The cuts just don't happen.

I can't lower the boom.

Ryan king cannot deliver Bad news.

Ow.

Hola, senor ryan.

Hola, miguel.

Such a nice day, I figured I'd sneak out my window,

And...

Pretend I'm a snake.

Como esta janie?

Janie's great.

She's great, you-- You just missed her.

She's probably Out buying something.

Senoritas be shoppin', huh?

Ah.

Estas naranjas

Son para janie.

Right. Because janie loves oranges.

Alive, alive janie.

So you can't tell Your gardener janie died?

I just can't take The outpouring, you know?

The guy loved her.

And, I'm sorry, but he Is born of a people who,

As a rule, are not known For the containment

Of their emotions.

Estupidos, my people?

No control emotion?

I mess with you, ryan king.

It's just that every time I tell someone,

It's such a thing, You know?

I should just get a t-shirt That says, "Janie died."

Or vanity plates That say "Dead wife."

Maybe sharing the news

Could be part Of the healing process.

That's too many letters.

Excuse me?

California plates Have seven letters.

"Dead wife" is eight.

Eight without a space.

Great, then I won't get A license plate

That says "Dead wife."

For that reason.

You could do "D-e-d w-y-f."

Ooh, that works, And you get the space.

You know, you can check online To see if they're available.

Okay, you know-- You guys,

I think we're getting A little bit off-topic.

"She dead," "S-h-e d-e-d"?

- "D-e-d w-y-f" is taken. - guys, are we--

It is? Seriously?

I have some issues To discuss,

Should I just go down To the dmv?

- no-- - oh--try "Nomo wyf."

Oh--I mis-typed, But "She daed" is available.

Okay. You know what, guys?

I'm--I'm just gonna Tell the gardener.

- good. - I'm just gonna tell him,

And hope he Doesn't freak out.

He won't if you Keep it light.

Like this.

♪ boopie boopie Boop boop,

♪ boopie boopie Boop boop, boop ♪

She "Daed."

I don't want to sit Next to him anymore.

Good morning, everyone.

I come bearing treats!

Okay, so,

I got your fancy new car Coming in on thursday,

I set up your interview With aaron rodgers,

And you are hitting people On purpose, aren't ya?

I lost my wife.

People aren't calling me On things,

It'd be silly Not to take advantage.

So, you are getting A porsche, huh?

Yes, but don't judge. I always wanted one,

And janie always wanted me To go for it.

She also wanted you To develop a spiritual side

And give more to charity.

Yes, but those seem Less fast and awesome.

Dude, you getting sleep?

You emailed me again at, like, 3:00 in the morning.

I got big ideas, I don't know When they're gonna come!

I don't know when Inspiration's gonna hit me.

Your email read, "Do something with

Peyton manning And dakota fanning."

I'm telling you, I think There's something there.

Seriously, I know You're going through a lot.

Is everything okay With your...

Stuff?

'cause if you ever Needed to...You know,

Or do...Whatever,

I could...That.

Thank you, steven, That was very inspirational.

I'm gonna go knit that On a pillow.

A giant, endless pillow.

Poor guy.

At least he's got His support group.

But I'm his friend.

Does he know he can Talk to me about janie?

I doubt it. You don't really give off

The "Let's go deep" vibe.

Well, he's never Needed me for that.

I make okay things good And good things great.

He wants to get a beer, I say let's get two beers.

He wants to go to dinner, I say let's go to vegas.

I've never had to make Something sad less sad.

I want to be able to help. I think I can.

Can you?

You tell me.

Aah--oh.

How does this feel?

Stupid, weird, bad.

Good.

You let it all out.

Dinner time's The worst for me.

Some man nurse Comes to my room,

Tells me it's time To be hungry at 4:00 p.M.

La puesta del sol.

A mi marido le encanta La puesta del sol.

The end of the day, Everything's quiet,

The kids are asleep.

We'd always Have a glass of wine.

1:23 a.M.

That's very specific.

Every night, 1:23 a.M.,

Janie used to roll over In her sleep

And slap me in the face

And scare the living hell Out of me.

So I used to wake up At that exact moment

Every night, you know, To brace myself.

And I still do.

And now, when that oddly strong Little arm doesn't come,

I realize That she's gone--

Again--

And it's lonely, You know?

It's 1:23 a.M., There's no one to call.

That was very good, ryan.

I also get up Around then...

And I'm even more upset.

Don't do that.

Okay.

Hey, new guy.

I'm on board, You're doing good work.

- you really are, man. - yeah.

Thanks, I'm trying.

Who would've thought On top of everything else,

I'd be so good At personal growth?

I am a special dude.

What makes guys Be like you?

And you have all Been terrific, too.

I didn't think I'd get much Out of this,

But you guys Make it easy.

I appreciate you.

Aww--

I thought we were all Gonna do that.

Ryan!

Ryan king!

Tim!

And other work people!

What are you Doing here, man?

I'm here to play.

Heard about the game.

Thanks for showing me Where the basketball court is,

Random group of people I saw walking.

Did he just walk away?

- yes. - yeah, he did.

Aren't you gonna change?

Nah, I think sports have Gotten too casual these days.

Let's do this. - all right, let's go.

Hey, you're late.

Yeah, it's 'cause My new porsche isn't here yet.

Doesn't come till thursday.

And if I've done the conversion From kilometers correctly,

That sucker can go 800 miles an hour.

So...

Life, huh?

Some assembly required, Am I right?

Yeah. What?

It's okay.

I'm scared too.

Could we get some bread Over here?

You know who loved bread? Janie.

She'd often put butter on it-- Not in a showy way.

It was just about her

And that bread That she loved so much.

You know, I'm really Starting to regret

Not having you speak At the funeral.

Maybe no janie talk.

Can you imagine the bread That they have in heaven?

Maybe no talk at all.

Your hand Is doing something weird.

You guys Need another minute?

No! Nope, ready to go.

Bring us two of anything.

Two skirt steaks, Two cereals.

Don't leave, though.

You stay here And have someone else go get it.

Buenos dias, senor ryan.

Ahh--

Janie. Donde?

Oh, you, uh--

Want me to ask her?

Janie!

Uh, the gardener's here,

And he has a little plant He doesn't know where to--

Miguel, I-I can't lie To you anymore.

Janie is...

On vacation.

That's another lie.

Janie is...

Muerto.

Yeah, she muerto'd A couple of months ago.

Muerta?

Please don't be sad.

♪ boopie boopie boop boop, Boopie boopie boop boop ♪

I'm sorry, I'm going through a lot, man.

Lo siento, ay?

When it's my turn To talk,

I got some great stuff To share.

All right.

Who wants to go first?

- senorita. - uh, anne.

Thank you, lauren.

I have something That I would like to discuss.

Why didn't this jackass Introduce us to his friends?

That was my question--

- that was mine too. - right.

Exactly what I was going to say.

Seriously? This is about The basketball thing?

This is about you Being embarrassed by us.

We're here to Meet your friends,

And we gonna show you What "Embarrassed" is.

That's why we're all Dressed up to play.

You're all--

Dressed up, That's right.

We all decided to suit up...

And mingle with your buddies.

- we're ryan king's friends... - that plan was canceled.

Please don't say anything. - and we all came to play!

Isn't that right?

Yeah!

I'm not embarrassed By you guys.

Oh, come on, you think We're a bunch of losers.

Well, it is A support group for loss,

So, technically--

Fausta, what did we say About hitting?

I only get one.

- she gets one? - mm-hmm.

Look, I'm not ashamed Of you guys.

I appreciate What we do in here,

I'd just like to keep it Contained to this room.

Oh, like a virus?

Or some kind of Captured sewer monster?

Can we get back To what this room does well,

Helping ryan?

I was up again At 1:23 a.M.--

It's not just about What we do in this room.

We hang out.

Like thursday, We're going bowling.

Really? Because that sounds like

More of a friend thing.

We are friends.

And once a month, We all get together and go out.

It's fun. - yeah, no.

No, it's not.

Owen makes me Buy him beer,

And fausta straddles That ball return and shouts,

"Here comes baby!"

Ball shoots out Like big baby!

It's so funny. - no, it sucks.

But we do it--together-- Because we are a group.

And you're gonna Do it too.

See, I think my thing Might be more

Not doing that.

Wow! You think You're better than us.

I don't understand. Why isn't he coming?

We're great! Aren't we?

I'm feeling very judged Right now.

If you lose it, I'm gonna throw up!

Okay, everybody, Let's calm down--

What does a big shot like you Do on thursday night?

Hang out with your Big shot friends

In big shot steak houses In big shot town?

Well, my new porsche Does come that night.

- oh, my god! - come on!

That's right! I am gonna drive around town

And crank some '80s tunes.

Huey lewis may be involved.

And the news, possibly.

I love you guys in here.

It's very valuable. I'm just not looking for more.

Yes, mr. K.

May I follow ryan Around town

In my chevette?

Yes.

Yes?

Yes!

Do you ever watch sports In the middle of the night?

I'd call it a wasteland, But to call it a wasteland

Would suggest some sort of fun, Post-apocalyptic adventure.

Still won't let me in.

Hmm. Did you try Squeezing his hand?

- yes! - yeah, he told me.

That's a weird move, man.

What do I do?

Be a guy.

You know, back in kentucky, You'd go hunting.

You'd punch each other In the face.

You'd get drunk And fall off a roof.

I choose fake sports.

World's strongest man Competition,

Spelling bees, Pie-eating contests.

You thought that he Wanted to hug you,

But he wants to beat you.

Oh, that's a good boss.

Hola, senor ryan.

Hola, miguel.

Hey, thanks For being normal.

I'm not getting A ton of that these days--

Hel-lo.

Miguel? - si?

Is there any chance that This is being built here

To be moved to an-- Another house

Or perhaps to the bottom Of the deep, blue sea?

Es bueno, si?

What's the opposite Of "Bueno?"

No, no, no--

Ah, bueno.

Porsche, answer!

No?

Really thought cars Had come a lot further.

Steven, hello. - hey, ryan.

Uh, I need you to meet me, I got an idea for the two of us.

It's gonna be great.

Okay.

Porsche, Lock on his location.

Engage!

I'm not angry, porsche, I'm just disappointed.

Please, please, please, Please, please, please, please.

Whoa! George--

Facing the wrong way, Buddy.

I know where I'm facin'.

I'm gonna knock down That tall, white pin

That told me to wear My basketball uniform.

- I'm sorry, he asked! - where is he?

Okay, we've officially Bottomed out.

Oh, ouch!

The baby, She is coming!

There he is.

Where are we?

Abandoned lot, man!

Perfect place for two men To connect in a manly way.

Here's the deal, We're gonna get drunk

And then we're gonna Break some bottles.

Then it's gonna Get real, son.

Inhibitions, bye-bye.

Everything you just said Sounds so awful to me,

Let's just hold hands again. You wanna?

Yeah!

Oh, my god.

I'm not finished.

I have a gun. - oh, my good god.

No, this is an air gun.

But it can still Draw blood

So we can still Make mistakes.

Have a drink, amigo. - oh, I don't wanna.

- yeah, do it. - I'm not gonna.

- dude, c'mon. - I don't wanna, I'm not gonna.

You gotta drink.

If you don't, then th--

This all seems stupid.

All you wanna do Is go to the stupid group.

Look, I know you're Just trying to help,

But you are...

Really terrible at this. - I know.

I mean, awful.

So this, uh, group,

They're good for you?

Yeah...

And I kind of Abandoned them tonight.

They had this group outing, Bowling,

And I didn't handle it Very well.

Go to them.

Now.

Go, before I Change my mind.

Not really For you to decide.

Man, the cops.

- porsche! Ignition on! - does it do that?

- it should, right? - yes!

You used my ball.

What difference Does it make?

I don't trust Your fingers!

Well, well, well.

Look what the cat Dragged in.

Cats don't do that!

It's a stereotype Perpetuated by dog people.

Look, I'm sorry

I acted like I didn't want To be part of the group.

And if you'll let me, I would like to

Not have fun With you guys tonight.

- aww-- - no!

No "Aww."

Just tell me When to do it then.

When he's earned it.

I came. I'm here.

What more do you want?

How's your car?

Yeah.

New, expensive,

And very precious to me.

I wanna drive that bitch.

You are on the wrong side Of 0.08, my friend.

We're not.

Oh, it's so fast.

Oh, it's so fast!

Oh!

We, who are about to die, Salute you.

The baby, She is coming!

Yeah.

Yeah!

I'm not just blind,

I can't drive stick!

Whee!

I want to be very clear,

You're not cooler than me.

You know it, I know it,

And your car Is about to know it.

- hey - hello.

What are you guys Doing here?

It's 1:23, right?

Isn't this When you need someone?

- hi. - hi, come on in.

They showed up At my house

And told me They were coming here.

I just want to say, From the bottom of my heart,

That I took A prescription sleeping pill,

And I have no idea What's happening.

Is this your wife?

No, that's wrigley field.

It's pretty.

Yeah.

This is so nice Of you guys.

Am I the only one Hearing mariachi music?

God, is that my gardener? Is he still here?

Wait, wait, wait-- You know this song?

Is there any chance It's called

We're about to remove This fountain?

No.

I told him about janie

And he built this thing.

It's weird, and--

Wow.

I finish.

Gracias, miguel.

A janie.

To janie.

Is this the group?

You sing and cry And stuff?

I love this.

What are you doing here?

You said you wake up Every night at 1:23.

I wanted to be there For you.

It's 1:28. We got here on time.

It's five more minutes Of helping.

I'm glad you're here.

Steven, These are my friends.

- aww? - yes.

Aww!

And guys, This is steven.

He's my best friend. - back in there.

Hey. - hi, sonia.

- hi, anne. - steven.

This is the one time

I'm ever going to say "I told you so,"

But this outpouring You were trying to avoid

May have been Just what you needed.

You may be right.

Yeah.

This is the one time

I'm ever going to say "I told you so,"

But this outpouring You were trying to avoid

May have been Just what you needed.

Okay, honey.

Let's get you some sleep.

Yo te quiero Y tu me quieres.

Pero por maldito orgullo,

Nunca voy a regresar.

Oh, he's up. We can make noise again.

Oh, my god, slept late.

Hey, buddy.

What am I doing here?

There's cereal.

Bowl patrol.

Mr. K.