All language subtitles for Top Gear - 22x07 - World Rallycross.WEB.en

Tonight, I try a classic
Jaguar on our track.

Hammond has a blast
in Mazda's new MX5.

And James says, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow."

Thank you, everybody, thank
you so much, thank you!

Hello, good evening.

Thanks, everyone.

Now, a couple of years ago Jaguar
gave us the F-Type convertible

and now there's the F-Type coupe.

You can have it with a
choice of two V6 engines

or, for £85,000, a thumping great V8.

So guess which one I've been driving?

Beautiful, isn't it?

Beautiful enough to cause dribbling.

And aggressive as well.

Snarly.

Angry.

And unlike the soft-top F-Type,

it comes with a boot, into
which you can put many things.

All you could get in the boot of
a convertible is a peaked cap.

But in here, there's room for
every conceivable type of hat,

all at the same time.

A boater, a fez, a
pith helmet, a trilby,

one of James's special hats.

And there's still room
leftover for a busby.

There you go.

And the good news keeps on coming.

Because Jaguar has fiddled around
with the supercharged V8

so it now produces 542 horsepower.

That is 54 more than you
get in the convertible,

which means this has a
top speed of a million.

It is outrageously fast.

I mean, that is 160mph.

And I've got 17 hats in the boot.

But even more impressive than the
speed is the way this car is made.

They haven't simply bolted on
a roof - the whole side is new.

And this is it.

It's one piece of aluminium
and it only weighs...

three and a bit kilograms.

And because it's one piece,
there's more strength,

more safety and less flex.

And less flex means better handling.

I thought the convertible
was good, but this...

this is even better.

It's actually got tougher
springs than the convertible

which doesn't do much
for the ride but...

God, it makes it fun
to drive out here.

It is like driving
around in some poetry.

Ted Hughes poetry, but
poetry nevertheless.

This actually has an electronic
differential, which can overheat

if you go too mad. But...

providing you stay
within the parameters

of reasonable common
sense, it's fabulous.

I just don't know of another
car quite like this.

And that's half throttle.

Yes, you're good!

So it's pretty and violent and fast

and more practical than
you might imagine.

Inevitably, however,
there are a few niggles.

Number one, at oblique junctions
it's really hard to see

if anything is coming.

So pull up here at the edge
of our runway and look.

The only way I can pull out safely
is by crossing my fingers

and hoping for the best.

Stupid idiot!

There are other issues too.

If you push the seat
all the way back,

and if you're tall, you'll want to,

the leather squeaks on the
bulkhead - can you hear that?

Really irritating.

And then there's the control
system, which is touch screen.

Now that sounds fine

but it's so bumpy in here,
at low speeds particularly,

that it's very difficult
to get your finger

to go in the right place.

If you're not very careful when you
try to change the radio station,

you can end up altering the colour
of the interior lighting

or engaging Mad Mode on the
dynamic driving system.

Aah! I wanted Classic FM!

But the biggest problem with this
car is that it never stops shouting.

You can push this button here
to quieten the exhaust system

but every time you
go near the throttle,

it all bursts back into life again.

This car's a little bit like a
child that can play the violin.

For five minutes, it's fine.

But after a month, you might start
to suggest that if it doesn't stop,

you will shove the sound
box right up its...

Peace and quiet?

That's not something
this car can ever do.

Happily, however, there's another
new Jaguar which is a bit less...

louty.

A few years ago, we tested
this, the Eagle Speedster.

And now the company that created
it has come up with something else.

It's called the Low Drag GT

and it's a re-creation of a one-off
racing E-Type prototype

that Jaguar made in 1960.

Except re-creation is the wrong word,

because what Eagle has actually
done is taken the basic design

and the spirit of the original
and then brought them up to date.

Think of it, then, as a
Georgian house with Wi-Fi.

And perhaps one of those Georgian
Clooney coffee machines.

Let's start with the engine.

Like the original, it's
a twin cam straight six.

But unlike the original, it has fuel
injection rather than carburettors.

So it works.

It's made from aluminium rather
than cast iron, so it's light.

It also has cooling so
it doesn't overheat.

And it's bigger than the original...

...which means it's more powerful.

The original car had 3.8 litres
and produced 265 horsepower.

This has 4.7 litres

and produces 345 horsepower!

So it's faster...

MUCH faster!

To give you an idea of what
a rocket ship this car is,

I'm going to have a drag race

with Toyota's idea of
a modern-day sports car.

The GT-86.

Right, so a child of the '60s
versus the 21st century.

Three, two, one, go!

It's a smoking start.

And we are away.

That's incredible.

Janis Joplin is punching
Justin Bieber in the face.

And there's the finishing line.

Yeah, it's an easy victory.

I've always said things
were better in my day,

apart from the rickets.

And the diphtheria.
And this proves it.

It's even pretty good in the corners.

I'm not going to say this feels
modern because it doesn't.

The F-Type would run rings around it.

But crucially...

...it doesn't feel as old as me,

which is what it is.

But it's not the handling
or the power

or the 170-mile-an-hour top
speed that impresses most.

It's the attention to detail.

I mean, because this car
has a five-speed gearbox

rather than the four-speeder
you got in the original,

Eagle has even made a special
gear knob to reflect that

with a five on it.

I'd have just used Tipp-Ex.

And look at these sun visors.

They're fabulous and somebody
had to make them and the bracket

and the bolts that hold
it together and the hinge.

That's, that's just...

It's all just too
incredible for words.

And there's more.

The wheels - they look like
they're made out of steel

and they came from a
motorist discount store,

but actually they were specially
made by hand out of magnesium.

And because the body
is Eagle's own design,

this windscreen had
to be specially made.

Now that meant going to a glassmaker

and saying can you
make ONE windscreen?

One!

It cost £15,000.

And the back window?

That was £15,000 as well.

As a result of all this,

the Low Drag GT is quite a lot
more expensive than the F-Type

and it's less nimble
and it's more slow.

But I know which I'd rather have.

Thing is, though...

The tragedy is that the
only people who know

how to make a windscreen like this,

a one-off, are all now
in their 70s and 80s

and when they retire, they will
take their skills with them.

Which means that in
the very near future

it just won't be possible
to make a car like this.

No, I know and that'll be a
real shame, it really will.

One thing I've been
trying to work out,

cos you didn't actually
say it in the film,

if that windscreen cost £15,000,

how much is it for the whole car?

A lot.

How much a lot?

£840,000.

Ooh, that is a lot.

- No, but that does include VAT, I should be clear on that.
- Yeah.

Nevertheless, you'll have to
agree the F-Type does represent

better value for money.

It does - especially the V6,
which is the one I'd buy.

Because the V8, I mean
as I said in the film,

- it just never shuts up.
- It would drive you mad.

Yeah, it would, something
never shuts up,

shouting constantly all day long.

Rah, rah! With opinions and noise.

Well, I'm just saying, I
mean it'll drive you mad.

I can be quiet.

Yeah, but only when you're asleep

and thankfully I'm not
there for that so...

Listen, I have just decided that I
don't want to talk to you any more.

But what I do want to do is
find out how fast that F-Type

goes round our track.

And that of course means handing
it over to our tame racing driver.

Some say that he wishes there
was someone he could talk to

about his mis-sold PPI.

And that he spent all week making
a stairlift for Madonna.

All we know is he's called The Stig!

And he's off, an un-smoky
start, which is a surprise,

but very shouty, which isn't.

Up to the first corner, lots of
squealing from the Pirelli tyres

but he's keeping it
all in check nicely.

That is neat.

An appropriate slice
of The Carpenters there

on this crisp, dry day.

Very together through Chicago.

Let's see if there are
any tail-happy antics

round the Hammerhead.

Into the second part...
No, nothing so far.

No, that is incredibly neat again.

Now a chance to unleash
noisy, supercharged fury,

through the Follow Through,
he's right on the edge there,

that won't raise the pulse of
either of The Stig's hearts.

Hard on the optional
carbon ceramic brakes

for the second-to-last
corner, through Gambon

and across the line!

Right, then.

What did it do?

1.21.6 - which is as
fast as a Audi R8 V10

and a Cayman GTS and...
What are you doing?

- I'm being quiet.
- What? - I'm being quiet.

- This is...
- I'm letting you know what it's like to sleep with me.

And now the news.

And a couple of weeks ago,
we reported that Ferrari were

warming to the idea of a test
to see which is the fastest -

the Ferrari "The Ferrari", the
McLaren P1 or the Porsche 918.

And the good news is...

Ferrari have warmed.

They have indeed. There
are a few stipulations -

they've said that the test
must happen on neutral ground,

which is fine, it's what
McLaren wanted as well.

They've also said it must
be a factory prepared car

which was a sticking
point with McLaren,

but McLaren are now saying,
"That's OK, that's fine."

And that means, ladies
and gentlemen, this...

I think the most important test this
century is now going to happen.

- Oh, that is good.
- I'm telling you honestly,

we should go and sort out Ukraine,

cos after this, it'd
be walk in the park.

So when are we going to do it?

- What, sort out Ukraine?
- No. The race.

Oh, the race, well, as soon
as Porsche can find us a car.

- Find us a car?
- Mm.

Well, they made 918.

- I know, they've obviously lost them.
- Have they? - Yes, they're now saying,

"We haven't actually
got one at the moment,

"but as soon as we do have
one, we'll let you have it."

Then we can go ahead and see which
of those three incredible cars

is the fastest. I cannot
wait, I really cannot wait.

That's excellent, looking
forward to that.

So that is good news. Er,
now, not such good news.

You may have heard in the
news last week that Top Gear

was attacked by Labour's transport
spokesman, a Mr Dugher.

He says that Top Gear
is not representative

- of the motoring public in Britain.
- No! - I know!

- We're not representative?
- I know cos only this series, we have,

if you think about it, we've raced
a hovercraft across St Petersburg.

- How representative is that?
- Very.

We've turned a Porsche
into an ambulance,

- we've driven a Bentley up the side of an iron-ore mine...
- Exactly.

- ...in Australia.
- Exactly. Did he not enjoy these features?

Difficult to say because he says
he doesn't watch Top Gear.

Well, hang on, how does he know
if we're representative or not

if he doesn't watch it?

- It's a good question. He may have special powers.
- OK.

He could be a witch.

- The Tories aren't much better, are they?
- Nice balancing work.

- Good work, thank you.
- Thank you.

This is excellent - BBC
even playing field.

The Tory transport bloke, he said
that he didn't support the idea

of an 80mph speed limit
on the motorway

- because of the road casualties on one road in his constituency.
- Mm.

- Which is the Derbyshire dales...
- Yeah.

Which doesn't have
any motorways in it.

That's cos he's not a witch,

- he's an idiot. - All right, OK.
- That's the difference.

The annoying thing is, though,
that actually if you look behind

the anti-Top Gear prejudice,

Dugher is actually talking
a deal of sense.

Because he says that when they're
deciding on transport policy,

every government, Labour and Tory,
they talk to anti-car lobby,

the... You know the cyclists
and the ramblers

- and the bus drivers and so on and so forth.
- Yeah, and he's right.

He is right which is ridiculous.

He also says that all the people
who make the decisions

are in central London and
have no idea what it's like

- for people trying to get around in the regions.
- And he's right on that.

I know, and the tragedy is
we're telling him he's right

and he's not watching cos he's
tuned into the Midwife thing

- on the other side.
- Almost certainly, yeah.

Which, incidentally, is not
representative of midwifery.

- Have you watched it?
- No, never.

I'm a witch as well.
I know these things.

Ooh, now you may remember
a little while back

we made some ambulances,
OK? And James turned up

to make his ambulance out of
a Cosworth-powered hearse, yes?

- Do you remember that?
- Yes.

Somebody else, it turns out, is also
using a Cosworth-powered hearse

as a hearse - got a picture.

The same thing happened to
you. It's a design fault.

- I could have warned them.
- Yes, exactly.

- I have news!
- What news?

- Vauxhall has a new car!
- No! - Wow.

Yes! And here it is...

They have called it the Viva.

- Viva?!
- They've brought the name back, yeah, Viva.

- Does anybody remember the original Viva?
- Oh, yeah.

Anyone...? You're probably too
young. Let me remind you, OK?

- There's a picture of it here, the original one.
- Oh, God.

- Look at it!
- Look at its silly little wheels.

- A style-free car.
- It is ridiculous.

Interesting, though - if they
were going to revive a name

from Vauxhall's heritage and all
that, why would they choose Viva?

I know, cos they had some great
names. They had Cresta,

- they had Victor.
- Viceroy.

They did a car called
the Prince Albert.

No.

- No, it was the Prince Henry.
- No, it's Prince Albert.

No, Prince Albert, that's... It's
a ring they put through your chap.

- What, Vauxhall put it through your...?
- No, no!

People who for, I don't know why,

but they do, it's a ring
they put through their chap.

I thought it was a rod.

Look, whatever it was,
it's not a Vauxhall.

- It wasn't a Vauxhall, they didn't...
- Right, that's cleared that up,

there was no Vauxhall Prince Albert.

Oh, now it's the Geneva Motor
Show is currently on actually,

which is an opportunity
for all the carmakers

to demonstrate new concepts,

all of which have
ridiculously large wheels

that will never see the light
of day in production.

Got some of them here for you.

We have the Infinity Q60.
Look at the wheels on that,

- that's never going to happen in real life.
- No.

- Nissan Sway. Again, no.
- No.

- Look at the Audi Prologue.
- God. - No.

The idea is we look at that,
we go, "Wow, that's fantastic."

Then of course the accountants
step into the mix

and the accountants say
you can't have 46" rims.

And you end up with a car that
actually looks like this.

Supercar news from Geneva -
a couple I want to talk about.

There's this, it's called
the EXP10 Speed 6.

Oh, so EXP won against Speed.

Oh, it's like football
results, EXP - 10...

- Speed - 6. - Yeah.
- Yeah.

That's actually well spotted.
Two-seater sports coupe.

And they say, and I'm quoting
now, that "It is..."

Er, make sure I get the quote right.

".. Unmistakably a Bentley."

But if you look at it from the side,

I think you'll agree that is
unmistakably an Aston Martin.

- Er, it is. ~ Yes.
- That's an Aston Martin. ~ Exactly. - Yes, it is.

Well, meanwhile, actually, the real
Aston Martin have come up with this,

which is an 800 horsepower,
it's a track day car

but they've called it the Vulcan.

- The Vulcan?
- The Vulcan.

So it only takes off
from RAF Waddington

and then it refuels in the Ascension
Islands and then carries on...

- Um...
- No, let's not go there.

I don't think... Leave that.

Have you seen this?

It's a Fiat 500, it's a limited
edition thing they're doing.

But what puzzles me is they've
chosen to put an image

of the original 500 on the side
of it, that's the original.

That's just idiotic cos that's like
saying "Look how fat I've become!"

Well, yeah. It's...

You don't see Eamonn Holmes
sunbathing with a diagram

on his belly of what he used to
look like as a teenager, do you?

"Look at me! I used to be only
this thin and now I'm enormous."

Which is what they've done.
I don't know what that's for.

Oh, now, big news.

There's a car called
the Suzuki Celery...

- Er, isn't it the Celeriac?
- Whatever, you don't want one.

We've got a picture of it here.
Now there's a British...

- I don't want one.
- No, it's hideous.

A British motoring magazine
were testing one of these

and it had total brake failure,

so Suzuki sent them
another one to test,

exactly the same thing happened.

- The pedal went to the floor both times.
- Nasty. - Very nasty.

So Suzuki took it away to
work out what was wrong.

And they discovered that there's
a safety system on that,

so that in the event of a crash,
the brake pedal is pulled away

from your foot so it doesn't
bounce up and damage your shin.

- Oh, yeah.
- But, if you were braking very hard,

it would assume you
were going to crash

and then pull the brake
pedal away from you.

In that yawning instant, I mean we've
all been there at some point,

- when you think you're going to have a crash...
- Mm.

...they take away the
only thing in the world

that actually is of any
consequence or importance...

- The only thing you understand.
- Yes, exactly.

Suzuki admit that was a mistake.

Well, it was, I mean
it was a mistake.

They do admit that was a mistake
and all credit to them,

very quickly, in just ten days,

they've got them all sorted out.

They did a recall, effectively.

And they've said... I love this,

They've said, "Sales
won't be affected."

What? Er, really?

No, they say, "Most of our target
audience is more mature.

"The public understand
that recalls happen

"and they'll see through
the stories."

Yeah, just to translate that,
what they're actually saying is

most of our target audience is
old and daft and won't notice.

Now, let's move on and it is time
now to talk about the Mazda MX5.

When this, the original model,
came out 25 years ago,

it immediately saved the small
roadster from extinction

and went on to become THE most
successful two-seater sports car

of all time.

But now there's a new MX5 and I
went to Humberside to drive it.

Before I do that, though, time for
a quick refresher with the original.

The reason this car was so
brilliant is that it's light,

it's small and it's simple.

Mazda were perfectly open about

cribbing all the best bits
from '60s MGs and Lotus Elans

and leaving out all the worst bits.

- The recipe wasn't complicated.
- Small engine at the front,

rear wheel drive

and a perfect 50/50
weight distribution.

They were so obsessed
with that last point,

they even moved the
battery to the boot.

There isn't a lot on this
car but everything that is

is done well. The gear change - short
snappy throws from gear to gear

and a little click as it goes in.

25 years on

and this is still in the top five
all-time great gear changes...

if there is such a thing.

God, these things were good

which means that the brand-new
MX5 has got a lot to live up to,

a helluva lot.

Well, here it is.

And on paper, the signs are good.

It's still usefully small.

It's still got an engine at the
front and drive to the rear.

And since prices start
at around £19,000,

it's still more affordable
than most sports cars.

Another encouraging sign is that
they've resisted the temptation

to give it a bigger engine.

The biggest you can get is two litres

and the one I'm in is a 1.5.

That means nought to 60 in
just under nine seconds,

about the same as the original,

and a top speed of 125,

which is absolutely fine.

In fact, it's good news.

An MX5 shouldn't be a snorting
monster of a thing,

it's a car for driving
into the countryside

on a nice sunny day to
find a nice pub for lunch.

And it's great!

Squeezing every last drop out
of this little 1.5 litre engine.

Use all the engine's
got and... Come on!

Whip the pony a bit.

Then there's the handling.

The front suspension is
still double wishbones,

the weight distribution is
still balanced perfectly,

50/50 front to rear.

Immediately, you can just sense
everything is in the right place,

the relationship between where
it all sits in the car is correct.

This car isn't about wrestling
a monster through turns

and being relieved when you survive.

I'm not trying to win a fight,

it's human being and machine
working together.

That - the way it changes
direction there, turn in...

...it feels so nimble.

The reason the new MX5
is so nimble is because

whilst most cars get fatter
with every new generation,

this one is almost 100 kilos lighter
than the car it replaces.

100kg, that's...

Well, it's nearly an
entire Jeremy Clarkson.

That's a significant weight saving.

Mazda has achieved this feat
by employing something called

the gram strategy.

Now this is not to be confused with
the business plan from Scarface.

What it means in Mazda-land is
shaving off a gram here and there.

For instance, in any car there's
bits of the glass that you can't see

hidden inside the body,
hidden inside the doors.

Glass is heavy.

So Mazda have made holes and
taken out pieces of that glass.

And if you just shave off
a gram here and there,

those grams add up
to become kilograms.

But despite the minimalism,

you don't feel like you're
sitting in a prison cell.

It's a nice place to be. I've
got, well, everything I need.

Touch screen, sat nav, it
interfaces with my telephone,

all of that stuff... It's a car.

So far, then, all is well.

But before I get too carried away,

there are a couple of not-so-good
things about this new MX5.

The first problem is not really
the car's fault at all

but I should mention it.
It's the image of the MX5.

Put it this way, if your business
is called A Cut Above,

Fringe Benefits or Hair Apparent,

this has long been the
choice of car for you.

But if you run a magazine called
Belt-Fed Machine Gun Enthusiast,

you'd probably want
to look elsewhere.

The second problem is the looks.

I can see what they've done -

they've given a cute
little car a frown,

it's the whole angry puppy thing -

but I'm just not quite sure, yet.

But, you know what?

These are tiny ripples in what is
otherwise an ocean of brilliance.

- Oh, I love this thing.
- It's brilliant.

It's pure fun.

It's made of fun.

Listen to that!

I know when I get back to the studio,
Jeremy's going to be standing there

pointing at an Alfa Romeo 4C

saying, "This is the
lightweight car to have."

But it's 50 grand!

And they make a fuss
about it being light.

This is just simple.

I love this. I'm just
made up with this.

See? There you are.

I, I knew it. I knew you'd do that.

I said so in the film.

But, look, the fact is
you could buy two MX5s -

no, two and a half - for
the price of one Alfa.

Yes, but the Alfa Romeo is lighter.

How do you know?

Every time we ask Alfa
how much it weighs,

they send us a different number.

They did, cos they're not troubled
with specific details like that.

If you build a car that's
as much fun as this

with a carbon fibre tub chassis,

you take it for a drive,
you don't weigh it.

When Leonardo da Vinci
painted the Mona Lisa,

he didn't say, "I wonder
how much that weighs..."

The whole point of the Alfa, we're
told, is its lack of weight,

that's why they tell us it feels
a bit flimsy and a bit brittle

and it hasn't got power steering
because it's so light.

But then they won't tell
us how light it actually is.

Because they're too busy having fun.

Mazda made that and then went,
"I wonder how many horsepower

"it produces? Let's put it on
a rolling road and weigh it."

Why don't they just
make the figures up?

That's what the Italians always do.

They do!

Right, once Alfa finally give us
the convertible version of this,

let's get it together with the Mazda
and we'll sort out which is best.

Good idea, but now we must put a
Star in our Reasonably Priced Car.

Now, my guest tonight
came to fame as a boy,

and then he was a sort of blue monster,
and then he was a zombie -

all of which means I don't know
what he looks like in real life.

So, ladies and gentlemen, somewhere
over there is Nicholas Hoult!

You! It's you.

It is you.

How are you and your...?

Very well, very well.

- That's actually you?
- This is it.

- Your ears, your nose.
- Excellent have a seat.

Yes, yes, yes. Thank you.

No, cos you very rarely
see you as you.

Yeah, I have a habit of
wearing a lot of make-up.

In films, not in real
life. Generally.

To remind you, this was you in About
A Boy, obviously, when you were...

- Aww!
- Yeah.

- Sweet is the word I'm looking for.
- Thank you.

- And then you were blue.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

Again, hard to recognise
you now from...

Is this a good thing?
Does the anonymity...?

Well, I did sneak around.

I did get off on the streets
in that costume a little bit.

Um, I ran across a golf
course at one point.

I went hooning it. Three
people were playing,

and I went running across
this golf course,

and they turned and saw that coming

and they were like, "Oh,
Lord, it's happening."

And I pulled up and said, "Remember
to swing through the ball,

"keep your eye on the back
of it at all times,"

then I turned around
and ran off again.

And you could see them
just so confused.

Was that while you were actually
filming or is that something

you keep at home for fun?

- Well, I've got the feet from that at home.
- Have you?

Yeah. Well, actually, no, I haven't,

my mum kept them, cos she likes
to wear them as slippers.

Now, you've been, even from
when you were a boy-boy,

you've been a petrol head
since you were that age?

I have, yeah. I grew
up watching this show.

- So, you were watching this as a... When you were in About A Boy?
- Yeah.

God, that makes me
feel about a thousand.

Cos it's weird, I haven't changed...

I mean, you've changed a lot,
but I'm exactly the same now

as I was when we first started.

So you must have been thrilled, then,

if you were a car enthusiast
from a young age,

to have been offered a part in
the new Mad Max movie, I presume,

which is - as we know
from the early ones -

- a lot of cars.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was supposed be an
Australian accent - rubbish.

Yeah, cos I loved the original films.

And then, it's the weirdest
thing, you'd be there on set,

and they'd have these armadas
of all these vehicles

that they'd specially
made for the shoot,

all these V8s, V12s, all roaring.

And you'd be sitting there in your
car, and flames of all these other

cars would go flying past you, guys
on bikes, and you just get chills.

But the only problem with it
is you can't hear anything

cos the engines are all so loud.

You'd sit there, and then
you'd see the camera

kind of come into your periphery,

and then you'd hear
a bang on the roof,

and that was maybe someone
saying their line.

So you're just kind of guessing
when to act, essentially.

Just hoping for the best, not knowing
exactly where you were in the film.

We've actually got a clip.

Let's have a look at
the new Mad Max movie.

My name is Max.

Oh, what a day! What a lovely day!

That does look like my kind of film,
I think all our kinds of films.

We would... Yeah, I'll be
queuing up for that one.

But the car has survived, the
Mad Max...? It's a Ford Falcon.

That's still there. It gets adapted
a little bit in this one.

This was amazing, like, the attention
to detail in all of these.

My car, they had four versions
of it, because they had to flip

and roll and do all sorts of
stuff, but each one had, like,

my character's name, Nux,
engraved into the brake pad

and all these sorts of things.

When you got in there
everything worked

and had a reason to be there, they'd
had really thought about everything.

So there's no CGI in this, then?
It really is roll a car over?

Yeah, they were really
going for it, yeah.

Well, I mean, that just sounds
like my idea of heaven.

It was... Yeah, you think
it's your idea of heaven

until they're crashing trucks
into the back of you.

And you do the first
take and you're like,

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about
it, do it faster, go for it."

And then the next time
you turn around mid-scene,

you look over your shoulder and
there's this truck flying at you,

and you're like, "Boof!", getting
thrown around inside, trying to act.

You are quite accident prone
on films, are you not?

Cos when you were on X-Men...
Cos you've got Fassbender on...?

Yeah, Fassbender.

Cos he told some amazing
stories of what you got...

Racing golf buggies when he was...

Oh, yeah, him and James crashed
a golf buggy and caused

quite a lot of damage to themselves
and one of the cars on set.

Yeah, he did mention that.

You didn't get involved
in the golf buggy racing?

Well, they took them away after that.

We'd do a little bit
of golf buggy racing.

So then, our next one,
on the last film

me and James went and bought BB
guns and we'd shoot each other.

So you'd be riding
to set in the morning,

you'd put your goggles
on, load your clip,

you'd get out of the car and
then, before you knew it,

there were three people, like,
chasing you to your trailer.

- Shooting you?
- Yeah, but then we had to stop that

cos people got shot in the face.

And you'd bleed.

I was going to say it would
leave an ugly mark.

Yeah, it would welt or bleed, so
we got told we weren't allowed

- to do that any more, either, so...
- Aw!

Don't know what we're going
to do on the next one.

Is that why you've
now taken up knitting?

Yeah!

Oh, the knitting, yeah.

On Mad Max, there was
a lot of hanging around,

so one of make-up artists
was knitting one day

and I was like, "That seems
like a good way to kill time."

So, I'd sit there,
sit there knitting,

and then getting really frustrated
with myself when I'd mess up,

like, storming around
the set being like,

"Argh! Can someone fix my...

"..knitting?"

"Please."

And then they'd fix it
up, I'd go, "Thank you,"

and I'd go back off to
my corner and sit there.

I started, like, taking
orders from other people.

- And then...
- Beast can knit.

Two of the girls on Mad
Max asked for hats,

and I was like, OK.

I had one day off and I was like,
I've got to make these hats.

So I knitted straight
for ten hours that day

without really stopping.

And then I quit, I haven't
knitted since, cos I was like,

this is too much, it's
not fun any more.

Have you heard of Call Of Duty?
That's brilliant for killing time.

I kill weeks with Call Of Duty.
Knitting? Well, there we are.

Now, it's time to
get on to your cars,

cos we've established you like
a car, and you've driven many.

You've driven a
Murcielago, haven't you?

Yeah, I got to drive
one in Singapore.

I was shooting a film
in Singapore last year.

That's a beast, it was
proper Lambo beast days.

Yeah, it shifted.

But your first car wasn't
any of those things.

It was similar.

It was a Fiat Grande Punto.

- Punto?
- In red, yeah.

It's a mean car.

1.4 litres of mayhem. It
was good, I enjoyed it.

- 1.4?
- Yeah.

Whoa, that's a beast.

And then, presumably,
in a Fiat Punto,

police interruptions
in your driving...?

Yeah, yeah, one.

I've never got a speeding
ticket on anything,

not on my bike, nothing,
apart from in the Punto.

And the max speed on
that thing is 103,

and I think I was doing under
that. I'm pretty sure.

And I suddenly saw the blue lights
and I was like, "Oh, no."

Pulled over, and he was like,

"I've been chasing
you for a while now,

"and I had to do 120, maybe
130 to catch up with you,

"so you were definitely
doing faster than that."

And I was like, "Well...

"the logic is off."

He said he was doing
120 to catch you up

so you must have been
doing more than that?

Yeah, and I was like, "This
doesn't make any sense.

"Of course you were going faster
than me, you were chasing me."

Did you say you had a bike?

Yeah. Yeah, a Ducati 899.

Not interested in bikes.
Anyone interested in bikes?

Yeah.

Oh, God! Um...

Erm... do you ride it?

Yeah, I ride it around, it's lovely.

Is it...? What colour is it?

It's white.

Yeah.

Can we stop talking about bikes now?
I want to talk about his laps.

- Oh, no!
- No, no. You know last week we had Gillian Anderson here?

And she did set a new
record of 22 practice

or attempts at the fastest time.
Do you know how many you did?

Uh, no, I wasn't...

- 24!
- Did I?!

No, but, you know, I
had lots going on, so...

But it is... It's an awful
thing to say, I know,

but it was a beautiful day today.

Well, yeah, it looked beautiful -

strong headwinds throughout
the whole lap, so...

Not a breath of wind, just
a crisp, cool, sunny,

beautiful, perfect
day for a car to go...

Yeah, that's what everyone
kept on saying.

And I was sitting there in
the car and I was sweating,

and everyone's first thing out their
mouths was, "Perfect day for it."

- Yeah.
- And you're like, oh...

Anyway, who would like
to see Nicholas's lap?

Yes.

Let us have a look.

- Loves it!
- Vigorous. - Loves it!

Race mode engaged.

Idiot driving - perfect.

Well, we shall see.

Coming up to the first...

Oh, crikey!

Oh, God almighty, that is quick.

It looks quick but I don't
know if it actually is.

- That does look quick through there.
- It felt like I was going as fast as I could.

Up to third, hang it out, turn it in.

And, I have to say, sometimes we say

if you go slowly it
looks quick but...

I saw Ricciardo bouncing up and down.

I don't know if that helps the speed.

No, cos normally when a car
is apparently going slowly

it's sometimes quick, but this
looks faster than normal.

And that's very nicely done.

That was a gear change.

Strong winds.

Not visible on screen.

Flat through there, obviously.

Oh, that is right to the edge!

And that's cutting it fine nicely.

And now just two corners left.

Coming in on a shallow angle,

but no real problems with
the second to last, Gambon.

A lot of understeer there,
but across the line!

What do you think, then?

Where do you think you've
come on the board?

I'd, I'd, I mean...

Obviously, for X-Men bragging
rights, I'd like to be somewhere

around Hugh Jackman, but
that's really high up.

Where's Hugh?

He's 1:46.1.

I'd like to be in the
late 1:40s somewhere.

Late 1:40s. Well, let's have a look.

I don't know.

Nicholas Hoult, you did it in 1...

...40...

OK, that's all right.

...4...

- Ooh!
- Oh, that's good.

Told you it looked quick.

...7.

Tenth off, a tenth off.

But there...

Come on. Come on.

That is a tenth...

Olly Murs is like...

But that is a very...

I mean, it looked quick.

It looked quick.

It's really difficult to get a
lap where everything goes right.

No, that is... That's a time
to be proud of, 1:44.7.

- Thank you so much for coming.
- Thank you.

Absolute pleasure to have you here.

Ladies and gentlemen, Nicholas Hoult!

Now, a few series
ago, the three of us

tried our hand at amateur Rallycross,

and we decided that, pound for pound,

it is the most exciting
sport in the world.

And, because we enjoyed
the amateur event so much,

the logical next step
was for one of us

to take it to a professional level.

Clearly, there was only
one steely-eyed helmsman

to take on this challenging job.

Him.

When we did our amateur Rallycrossing,

we raced here, at
Lidden Hill in Kent,

and our cars were plucked from
the pages of the classifieds

for just a few quid.

Well, the venue is the same.

This is where the event will
be taking place tomorrow.

The car, though...

That's a bit of a step up.

It starts out as a VW Polo,

but then becomes this -

a 2-litre turbo-charged Tornado

with 600 horsepower and more
torque than a Ferrari 458.

And, to keep the drivers
on their toes,

helping hands such as
traction control, ABS

and electronic
differentials are banned.

Now, I know what you're thinking -

you're thinking that's
not a racing car,

it's merely a vehicle providing
Top Gear viewers with hilarious.

Captain Slow cock-ups.

But no, I might actually
be OK at this.

For starters, the circuits
are small and easy to learn.

The cars do have four-wheel drive.

And then there's the
calibre of the drivers.

One of them is the son of the
bloke who owns this track,

and another is just a presenter
on American Top Gear.

And it's the Top Gear
chap - Tanner Foust -

who has kindly offered to
train me for this event.

Is it really 600 horsepower,
or is that bar talk?

It's a full-on six.

It's 300 horsepower per litre,

0-100 km in 1.9 seconds.

It's quicker than a Formula
One car off the line.

- Wow.
- Then the other things about it, you know,

you've got all-wheel drive,
it's amazingly stable,

you'll see a jump and it just
completely absorbs them,

it's like marshmallow.

It's mostly carbon fibre,
Kevlar underneath.

There's a lot of contact.

I think it's the only
sport in the FIA

where there's not a rule saying
you can't hit other cars.

- So you can hit other cars?
- It happens, yeah.

'Tanner then pointed out the most
important thing on the dashboard.'

This switch here, this is the
monster switch right here.

This is the one that is the
ALS, for the anti-lag system.

- This is for the turbo chargers?
- Yeah. - Yes.

Once you flip that switch,
all hell breaks loose.

Now every time you lift off the
throttle, it's shooting flame

through the turbo, keeping
it spinning over 200,000 rpm.

And it's a very violent thing,

and that's really what
makes this car work.

- OK.
- Once you cross the finish line,

you flip that off and then
it's a normal car again.

So that, remember that...

It's really weird talking to someone
who is a Top Gear presenter

but who is really helpful.

- Usually it's sarcasm and stupidity...
- We're team mates.

...but you're being informative,
helpful, encouraging -

it's quite nice.

'Tanner then offered to take
me for a demonstration run.'

I did mean to tell you, actually,
I fell off a horse quite recently.

- OK.
- And my bones are still a bit sore,

so try not to, you know, snap me
in half or anything like that.

OK.

Hold the brakes, then
lets it all off...

Holy.

Aaaaaaaargh!

'45 seconds later, my spin
in the Rallycross tumble dryer

'came to a merciful end.'

'And then it was my turn to drive.'

Full throttle, and release
the clutch a little...

Faster, faster, faster, faster.

'For the next few hours...'

Brake and full throttle.

'.. My new friend from
American Top Gear

'gave me some excellent tuition.'

Second gear, second gear, brake.

No, wrong way.

Brake, brake, brake, brake, brake.

That way, that way. Brake,
brake, brake, brake, brake.

Sorry about that, by the way.

Hey, no harm, no foul.

'He then took the time to explain

'the considerable
complexities of the racing.'

So, there's 12 cars, and
then there's five heats.

- Right.
- But there's four laps in each heat.

You won't just drive
once, you go twice.

Like, maybe two or three times.

So, it's 50 points for the
guy in first, 45 and then 40.

Then there's two semifinals...

'Tanner said that, no matter
how I did in the heat,

'I'd be in one of the semifinals.

'Then he explained the joker lap.'

But in every one of these
you do the joker lap once,

which is the long outside,

outside of turn one,

with a bit of a jump
on the way in there.

- OK, so I have to take the joker lap once per race?
- Exactly.

- Here's the thing with the jokers.
- At least three seconds slower.

Ideally, you would take
the joker lap sometime

if you're behind somebody and
you need to get free track.

And what if you forget?

That's why the spotter is critical.

What's a spotter?

So, on top of this building there'll
be one spotter per car

that'll be on the radio,
in your headset,

and they'll be able to talk
to you while you're driving,

when to take the joker,
who's behind you,

what position you're in,

give you information that you
need while you're on the track.

It's quite a responsible
job, the spotter, then.

- Yeah, they have to pay attention.
- Yeah.

I think I've... Can you just
go through that again,

to make sure I've got it?

12 cars total, we're all here to
race five times, four laps each,

30-second penalty if you take
the joker more than once...

The next morning, as all the other
teams prepared for race day,

I was in Tanner's garage getting
to know a bit more about my car.

Look at the size of this.

That's not a standard
air filter, obviously.

- None of that is standard, this isn't standard...
- May?

- Morning.
- Morning.

What are you doing here?

Well, we're told you need spotters,
apparently - we are your spotter.

No, no, no, no.

No. Spotting is a genuinely
important job.

You have to say who's in front
of you, who's behind you...

- ~ Well, nobody's behind you, obviously.
- ~ Funny.

When to do the joker lap -
do you know about the joker?

- Is there a jump? - There's a jump.
- And we tell you when to do that?

- Yeah, so when do I do it?
- Now! - I don't know.

- Which lap do I do the joker lap on?
- I don't know. - Well, exactly.

- How many laps are there?
- Four.

I mean, can I just...?

I got out of bed this morning
at 5:15 to be here.

He stayed in a Ramada Inn
last night with Lenny Henry.

And this is how ungrateful he is.

Seriously, I've done a minimal
amount of practice yesterday,

and I don't want two
Muppets helping me.

I'm sorry to be rude, but no.

James, James! Your door's
not shut properly.

- Good spot, good spot, Hammond.
- Yeah.

Since I seemed to be stuck
with Pinky and Perky,

we went to watch some of the
other drivers in the first race.

They don't half start off
close together, don't they?

- You could crash by there!
- Yeah.

This'll be you.

'Yesterday with Tanner, I thought
maybe a podium was a possibility.

'But, now I was watching
the real racing...

'.. I decided to aim a bit lower.'

I think maybe a better
personal ambition would be

not to be lapped.

- Does that happen a lot in this?
- I don't think it's ever happened.

You can't be lapped in Rallycross,
it's only four laps.

So, in four laps, if they're
doing a 50-second lap,

if you're more than 12 seconds
a lap slower than them,

you're in the Guinness Book
of Records as the first person.

EVER to be lapped in Rallycross.

'On that sobering thought, James
lined up for his first heat,

'which featured drivers of a higher
calibre than he'd been expecting.'

Petter Solberg is an extremely good,

former world champion rally driver,

- and a world champion at this.
- Yes.

Timmy Hansen is 22.

He was third in European
Rallycross last year.

- And James May.
- James May, 52-year-old piano player!

Interested in lathes!

'As the drivers prepared
for the off...'

'.. we were testing the comms.'

- Put him in the mood.
- Yeah. Yeah, I'd say that.

Turn the radio down, you're
blowing my ears out.

Gosh, why did I agree to this?

I've got Petter Solberg next to me
and a load of drivel in my ears.

- Oh, this is unbelievably exciting.
- Is he going?

- He's going, he's going!
- Oh, my God. James, it's about to start.

They've started, they've started.

They've started, James!
They've started!

Quite muddy there, James,
it is quite muddy.

Shut up!!

James? James, so that you know,
the car behind you is French.

- That was good spotting there, Jeremy.
- Shut up, you two!!

'Whilst James bumbled
around at the back,

'the other four drivers were
giving us a sensational show.'

Oh, big accident!

But how can he still be going?

'As the others entered their
fourth and final lap,

'James was being caught.'

Gas! And brake!

Turn in.

Hang your arse out, James.
Hang your arse out.

Seagull, James, I've
spotted a seagull.

Shut up!!

Inside line, inside line.

'Amazingly, though,
he got away with it.'

Yes! You haven't been lapped.

Ha, ha! I wasn't lapped!

I'd like to see those other
two Muppets do that!

I hope we weren't distracting to him.

No, I shouldn't think so, he knows
we're there, we're with him.

- It was reassuring noises.
- It's like racing in the car with him,

- it's like we're all three in the car, all with steering wheels.
- Exactly.

'As the winner of the heat,
Petter Solberg, celebrated,

'we went to check on James's times.'

- He was 32 seconds off Petter Solberg's time.
- Yeah.

Eight seconds a lap slower.

Right. Should we give him a strong
team talk, or should we support him?

He just needs to learn
to drive faster...

- Faster than the other people.
- Yeah.

Well, faster than himself would help.

'I was determined to do
better in the next heat.'

'But my spotters were even more
useless than in the first one.'

What time have you got to go tonight?

Uh, well, I just want
to beat the traffic.

Which bit of the M4 do you go down?

Uh, off, at junction 15.

That is near the M5, isn't it?

- No, no, 17 is Chippenham.
- It's Bristol.

Shut up, you two!!

Now for the joker.

It's definitely 17, is Chippenham.

I can't believe you don't
know, you do that...

Yeah, but I don't go to 17, I go
to 15, so that's Marlborough...

Shut up!!

- ...and...
- Argh!!

'No thanks to my colleagues,
I managed to finish

'another four-lap heat
without being lapped.'

Ho-ho! Come on!

Fantastic.

'But then it was time
for the semifinal,

'and I realised I had
a bigger problem.'

- The semifinal is six laps.
- Oh-ho!

So it's half as long again.

- And I've worked out, my good laps.
- Of which I've done maybe two -

were sort of four seconds
off the pace.

But quite a few of my
slightly cocked up ones

were sort of eight
to nine seconds off.

So, in a six-lap race...

- Six-lap race...
- Yeah.

...eight seconds, that's 48 seconds,

and it's a 50... it's
a 50-second lap.

- Oh, ho-ho! You're in danger!
- It'll be very, very close.

- This will be quite close.
- This is the test.

'With this terrifying maths
playing on my mind,

'I took my place on the grid.'

Do us proud, James, do us proud.

Don't let us down.

Right, here we go,
semifinal, six laps.

So, if you'd like to
place your bets...

'I decided to get my joker
out of the way on lap one...'

'.. which, obviously, my
eagle-eyed spotters noticed.'

James, you were 11 seconds slower
than the lead car on that lap.

But, wait, did he do the joker?

Oh, he might have done.

'Up front, Tanner was
fighting for the lead,

'and the racing was intense.'

'Meanwhile, a bit further back,

'I was managing to
stay out of danger.'

Right, down to second, keep the
power, keep the inside line!

That's not bad, that's
genuinely not bad.

'When James still had two laps to go,

'we realised he was about
to be stabbed in the back

'by his new best friend.'

- That is Tanner.
- Is that Tanner on his tail?

James, it's actually
Tanner behind you.

I've got to hold him off!

James, do not let American
Top Gear lap British Top Gear.

I'm getting that wrong!

Come on!

Well, he's right up
behind you, James!

Make your car wide!

Make it as wide as I don't know what.

He's right there. Argh!

On the inside, stay on the
inside, go on the inside!

Inside!

- Oh!
- Oh, James he's going to...!

Rubbish.

- Let's gloat at him there.
- Studio, yeah.

- Studio. Back to the studio.
- Back to the studio,

- we'll gloat at him there.
- Yeah.

Cos I want to get home, frankly,
I don't want to be around...

So, he'll go here, first person
ever to be lapped in Rallycross.

- Nice, though - name in print.
- Yeah, exactly.

Anyway, we have to say,
even with him in it,

Rallycross is brilliant.

It is fabulous to watch
because, basically,

from the start line
to the finish line,

all the drivers drive
as fast as they can.

Yes, that's it. There's
no conserving their tyres,

there's no looking after
the fuel consumption,

there are no stewards
with moustaches going,

"Oh, no, you've bumped into him,

"you've got to spend ten seconds
on the naughty step."

I tell you what Formula One is -

Formula One is like having some money

and putting in an ISA so that
it matures in a tax-free way.

Rallycross is like having some money
and going to the pub with it.

- Yeah, just blow it on one big night out, all at once.
- Exactly.

Can I just say...?

No, you'll make yourself
look more ridiculous.

You will, he's right.

And, on that bombshell,
it is time to end.

Thank you so much for
watching - good night!