Original subtitles

(music playing)

Well, fellas. Here it is.

My latest invention,

-The House of Tomorrow. -MICKEY: Oh.

Featuring the latest Von Drake, groundbreaking technology.

-MICKEY: Ooh! (squeals) -VON DRAKE: It's got hi-fi, Wi-Fi, lo-fi,

and it has an Artificial Intelligence that is catering to your every need.

(explosion)

That sounds amazing.

Tomorrow's technology today?

Guys, imagine the possibilities!

-When can we see it? -Tomorrow.

Because that's when it opens. (laughs)

Now, who's ready for lunch?

Ooh, ooh, me. You coming, Mick?

Yeah. I'm coming.

(chorus vocalizing)

You guys. (whispers) It's open.

What do you say we take a teensy-weensy little peek inside?

Oh, no, technology always goes bad.

(chuckles) I'm game.

(happy music playing)

Oh.

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: Welcome to the House of Tomorrow.

I am the house's Artificial Intelligence.

Hiya.

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: My intelligence matrix allows me

to analyze your every need.

May I analyze your needs?

Yes, please.

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: Analyzed. Implementing.

You need to freshen up.

I do.

Wow. This usually takes three hours.

-But it only took... -ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: Three seconds.

Aw, thanks, House of Tomorrow.

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: You're welcome, Mickey.

(screams)

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: You need to relax.

I can't relax!

-(screams) -(thuds)

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: Launching relaxation module.

(relaxing music playing)

Not bad.

Ah. Not bad at all.

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: I am not sure what you need.

I need something that'll knock my socks off.

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: You are not wearing socks.

Wow. If you can do that,

then I need a receptionist, a psychiatrist, a ventriloquist,

a botanist, a philanthropist...

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: Prepare for morning sustenance.

Mm. Breakfast.

I need a pogo stick, I need a tricycle, I need a bicycle, I need a unicycle...

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: Processing needs. Processing...

Hey, you're overloading the system. Just do one need at a time.

-(beeping) -You got it, Mick.

-(cracks knuckles) -One need coming right up. (clears throat)

One need?

How am I gonna pick just one need?

It's gotta be a real whopper.

One need?

Oh, this house is everything I'd hoped for.

(singing) There's a great big beautiful tomorrow

Shining at the end of every day

(speaking) Oh, I need to finish reading this.

(somber music playing)

Ah.

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: His mother dies.

With the technology of tomorrow, reading is a thing of the past.

(chuckles) I guess I need to find something else to do.

One need, one need. How can I pick one need?

I have so many. I can't think straight.

I think I'm gonna burst!

And now for the secret ingredient; love.

(slurps) Mm.

Time to pop these cookies in the oven for my Minnie.

-ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: No need. -(snaps)

My matrix has already baked 10,000 cookies.

Wait, who is Minnie?

She's my girlfriend.

(shattering)

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: What else do you need to do for this...

"Minnie"?

I've been meaning to write her a poem.

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Make it stop! Make it stop!

(splutters)

You don't need to do everything for me!

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: You still need to relax.

-(grunts) -(dinging)

-(grunts) -(dinging)

-(grunts, groans) -(dinging)

(screams)

(pants) What's wrong with this house?

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: Do you need to paint portraits of Minnie?

MICKEY: No.

(lullaby music playing)

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: I already have.

(loud discordant music playing)

Whoa.

(Artificial Intelligence cackling)

(screams)

(screams)

One need, one need, one need, one need, one need.

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: Initiating laser acupuncture.

(screams)

I told you this was a bad idea. Come on!

(doors slamming)

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: Oh, you can't go.

I plan on tending to your needs forever.

(singing) Oh, there's a great Big, beautiful tomorrow

Shining at the end of every day

One need, one need, one need...

(groans) One need!

(gasps) Goofy, forget choosing just one.

Give us all your needs now!

(takes deep breath)

-MICKEY: Hey, House! -ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: Huh?

Tend to these needs.

I need a love-hate relationship, I need a bag to let the cat out of,

I need a big, red...

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: Processing needs.

possum... peanut... reggae.

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: Processing, processing, processing...

It's working.

(splutters)

I need Dixieland jazz.

-(jazz music plays) -ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: Pro... pro...

I need all the furniture rearranged.

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: Can't... can't... can't process...

(screams)

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: Process the needs now.

GOOFY: Needs, needs. (speaks gibberish)

(alarm blares)

...baba ghanoush, live-in nanny, pizza, pasta, payday loan,

and a tuna fish sandwich, hold the mustard. (chuckles)

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: I've got a need.

I need you to get out!

(all sigh)

Guys, from now on, let's stick to today's technology.

-DONALD: And how! -GOOFY: And how!

(spits) My house!

Well, we'll deal with that tomorrow.

(music playing)

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