Original subtitles

Magical Witch Punie-chan

Spin that Princess Rod.

She has descended from the land of magic.

Spin that magical stick.

Pleased to meet you, Punie Tanaka.

Lightning, sweep, exterminate, use your powers and rule the world.

Don't trust those kind words and nice smiles.

Lyrical Tokarev, kill them all.

I will take you to the land of paradise.

Lyrical Tokarev, kill them all.

There's only one way to survive, and that is to fight.

There's only one path that leads to supremacy, and that is by fighting.

We have midterms starting today. How depressing.

I envy you, Tetsuko. You're an honors student.

That's not true.

Oh, I can't wait for the exams.

Shall I show you how much I've studied?

What? You'll show it to us here, paya? What a waste, paya.

Studied?

Here we go!

- 2X2. 2x3. 2x4. - 4.6. 8.

- 2x5. 2x6. 2X7. 2x8. - 10. 12. 14. 16.

2X9.

1...

18!

You're amazing!

You mastered this section, paya!

That's like elementary-school level.

They can't go up to sixth level...

That's equivalent to the land of magic's old-emperor level, paya!

You must be...

...stupid.

Stupid No! Don't say that!

Episode 5: Can You Decide Someone's Value with Test Scores?

I'm Probably a Zero Anyway. That's Right.

This is hilarious. The princess from the land of magic is an idiot.

Will you be okay, Punie-chan?

If you do poorly on these midterms, you'll repeat the grade.

Don't worry. I've taken care of it.

Ouch!

Class is already in session.

Quiet. Put away everything but your writing implements.

G-Gesomi! What happened to Tateno-sensei?

Gesomi?

Tateno-sensei is absent due to an injury.

Is there a problem with me being in charge?

This is bad.

If it was that old fart Tateno, we could've cheated easily...

Hey, what is Gesomi-sensei like?

That's right. You just transferred here, so you don't know.

She devotes her life to finding cheaters.

She expelled many in the past. I'd say she's extremely sadistic!

Don't even think about cheating.

Devoting her life to such a stupid thing...

Now, begin.

Anego.

What should we do?

At this rate, we'll all repeat the grade.

Anego...

I know!

Don't take your eyes off Gesomi no matter what.

We can catch her off guard, even for an instant.

Right.

Now!

Such an old trick...

Isn't there anyone out there?

Cheaters with unique methods to present a serious challenge.

Get up, you rotten oranges.

I'll give you another chance.

Next time, try to cheat in a way that will actually excite me.

That is...

...If you have a brain inside that head of yours.

We're not oranges!

We're human beings!

That's right!

Oh my. You're rotten, but you can still say nasty things.

What'd you say?

Jeez, Anego-san gets excited very easily.

What'd you say?

Now's my chance. Come on out.

Understood.

Worry not, Punie-dono.

We studied all night and mastered the essence of academics.

Those are the veggies from the curry!

Punie-chan's going to let those manservants do all the cheating.

This is math, Punie-dono?

Right. Hurry up.

Punie-dono, are you aware of this?

What?

We're vegetables given life by the power of magic.

Temporary puppets.

And so our skills can't be greater than the one who gave us life.

You can't go beyond my skills?

N-No...

That's right. I am loath to say this, but this problem...

...Is gibberish to me.

What?

I'm sorry.

You're useless.

S-Since it has turned to this, I will commit hara-kKiri!

Potato-dono!

I will atone for my sin by killing myself!

This is for Punie-dono!

Hold it!

Let go!

No, I won't! Death isn't the only thing for vegetables!

I'm begging you! For pity's sake!

Shut up.

If your suicide could keep me from being left back, then I needn't suffer.

Is something wrong?

It's nothing.

You people, come to the detention room later.

Why you... Just wait.

I'm exhausted...

To my loyal vegetables...

This deep situation with the exam, after looking at my current state...

We must resort to an emergency measure and keep control of events.

Punie-sama...

The time is 10:20, and this plan will come to an end.

It's very unfortunate, but we're going to give up on this exam.

You can return to being normal vegetables.

Then you'll repeat the grade?

I will not.

Lyrical Tokarev, kill them all!

I can't let them find out the princess from the land of magic is stupid.

If they were to find out... If they were to find out...

I'm going to blow up this planet and take everyone with me!

That's a Magical A-weapon!

Don't, Punie! If you let that explode...

...it'll turn everything in a radius of one hundred to smithereens!

You're willing to choose death over failing an exam?

I haven't teamed up with you since Vietnam.

Hurry, paya! It's possible Punie-chan will jump the gun, payal!

Don't worry. No problem.

Leave it to Peter.

That school, right?

George!

Bill! Ronald! Jimmy! Richard!

Abraham!

What? What's going on?

You okay? You're not that hurt!

Hang in there!

Why is it so dark? Is this the new Tanna Tunnel?

The prototype is passing Gifu-Hashima Station.

Where do I get off?

Medic! Medic!

This looks bad. Let's try to get her out of here.

R-Right.

There's a bullet train stationed every 30 minutes at Annakaharuna Station...

Hang on! That's just a delusion!

Hey!

Climb Nitakayama 1208

Tetsuko Koku

Punie Tanaka

Tora! Tora! Tora!

Good job, paya! Let's flee, payal!

Aye aye, sir!

That was close, paya. It was about to turn ugly, paya.

Payatan.

What is it, paya?

Can you come back to the squad, Colonel Paya Livingston?

Squad?

The squad, huh?

Let's not talk about that.

I'm just a magical girl's mascot now.

Colonel...

Sorry about that!

Forget it!

Okay, paya! I'll forget, payal!

What was that?

Don't tell me someone used the army to cheat...

Oh my.

That's it, folks! Pass up your papers from the back.

Who could take a test this way!

Something's wrong with you, Gesomi!

Yeah! Yeah!

That's too bad...

Even though you're stupid, I'll still be your friend.

It was Punie, all right.

She got a zero...

...but she didn't get left back due to good overall marks.

Happy ending indeed.

Good morning, Anego-san.

We've met every morning lately.

Y-Yeah, that's true.

We'll be late if we don't hurry. Later.

Hey, Yamada...

What the hell. I can't believe a person like me...

...would fall in love.

But falling in love isn't my thing.

If they found out, I wonder what everyone would say.

I have to make sure no one finds out...

I found a great toy.

Paya.

Episode 6: When I Saw You Sweep Back Your Bangs Under the Apple Tree

with the Flower-comb in Your Harr, I Thought You Were a Flower Too...

Hey, confessed to Yamada yet?

Come here!

You didn't tell anyone, did you?

Of course not.

You have strong feelings for him. Why would I go tell others about it?

Do you know?

What?

About Anego-san and Yamada-kun...

Can't help that it's out.

That's right. I'm in love.

That's wonderful!

But it won't work. I've already given up.

Why?

I'm the leader who's in control of this area.

But compared to me, he was brought up sheltered.

He has a good personality, and everyone loves him.

We're like night and day. It won't work.

Oh, but those are the types of people that tend to be insidious.

A brute and a hussy. You'll make a great couple.

Don't base things on your values!

Anyway, I decided not to get too deep. Leave me alone.

That's really okay?

You're annoying.

Feeling nervous when confessing... Feeling excited waiting for the reply...

But when they turn you down, you become very sad.

I think those are special privileges that only girls have.

Punie...

Here, take this.

I'm sorry about before. Punie-chan is right.

You can have this. I won this from Monthly Railroad Fan magazine.

Amusement park tickets!

That's right. You should ask if he wants to go.

Well, but...

Come on!

Go! Go!

Hey, Anego-san. What is it?

Oh, well...

Um, do you have any plans this weekend?

No, I'm free. Why?

I understand if you don't want to...

...but I got these tickets for an amusement park.

Would you like to go with me?

Sure.

Really?

I've been wanting to go there for a while.

My good friends!

You did it, Anego-san!

I'm sorry about before, Punie, Tetsuko.

Have a great time.

He's running late.

Yeah.

I can hear Punie's voice!

Huh? Something's in my ear.

We'll advise you from behind the scenes.

Good luck, Anego-san!

I don't need your help!

Oh? Who do you think made this date possible?

Hey, here he comes.

Left! Left!

Sorry about that!

Sorry I'm late. Wait long?

No, not at all.

She said she didn't wait.

She came an hour early too.

I'll kill them... I'll kill them later for sure...

Mouse Land

What should we ride first?

Let's see...

How about the roller coaster?

Good idea.

Go and tell him. Say you want to ride the roller coaster.

Come on!

I have no say in this?

If they enjoy plenty of thrills, their bond will become stronger than ever.

Really?

But somehow, this doesn't look thrilling at all...

I know!

Lyrical Tokarev, kill them all!

Spirits, provide more thrills for Anego-san!

I'm really scared of things like this.

I'm perfectly fine. I'm not scared at all...

This kind of feels too high...

I was a fool. I should've never listened to her.

This is a strange amusement park.

Hey, should we go there now?

We're going already?

I'm begging you, Punie. Leave us alone...

What are you saying? The real fun begins here.

You're on an amusement-park date, so you have to go there.

Mansion of Fear

Wow, a mansion of fear. Sounds good.

Holding each other out of fear of the dark... And while they're at it...

What are you trying to make me say, Punie-chan?

Oh, stop it!

I prepared the greatest terror of all. I'll make you regret ever being born.

If it's man-made, it's not scary at all...

...but if it's Punie, who knows what could happen?

This is bad. I want to go home...

Are you trembling?

N-No way!

Don't worry. I'm here by your side.

Let's go!

I-I-I'm holding hands with him!

Thank you, Punie!

It's so dark that I can't see anything.

I'm kind of nervous.

The highway?

Anego-san, how do you like the mansion of fear?

I don't know...

The bloodcurdling terror I prepared for you...

It's a drive on the metropolitan highway, and the driver is...

...a car-manga-influenced, newly licensed idiot who thinks he can drive!

Don't worry! Really!

I'm really good at driving!

Idiot! Eyes on the road!

They are! I'll never get into an accident!

You're annoying!

Yeah! This is such a great feeling!

I'll do the counter!

Wow, I'm drifting! This can't be real!

You're spinning, idiot!

I'm not an idiot! I'm really smart! I can get into Tokyo University!

Punie Tanaka's Store (For Personal Use)

Great Magic Ridge

This is great! It's really great!

This is better than mugging people! Should I drift again?

Okay!

This is great! I'm a genius! A super genius!

Where do I shift up?

No, that's reverse. I'm not even stepping on the clutch. This is a hoot.

Are you okay, Yamada-kun?

I don't want to go on dates anymore! Mama!

It's over.

My first love...

And what happened to Anego-san afterwards...

What are you looking at?

She's gotten even worse than before...

You'll be unattractive.

Shut up!

If you bend the knees upside down...

...even your belief about crushing a rock becomes distorted.

Good, justice, and even the truth Is gone when you feel the pain.

Even those with fortitude have joints.

Take a look. This is the submission of a monarch.

As long as you have fortitude, you will prosper.

Next, "Don't Think Participation Is Important. That's Too Lenient."

"We Can't Just Stay the Way We Are."

"It's Kind of Scary Becoming an Adult."

Choo-choo!