Original subtitles

Her name is Punie Tanaka.

She's a princess from the land of magic.

She's currently going through with her earthly trials. Good luck, Punie-chan!

Magical Witch Punie-chan

Spin that Princess Rod.

She has descended from the land of magic.

Spin that magical stick.

Pleased to meet you, Punie Tanaka.

Lightning, sweep, exterminate, use your powers and rule the world.

Don't trust those kind words and nice smiles.

Lyrical Tokarev, kill them all.

I will take you to the land of paradise.

Lyrical Tokarev, kill them all.

There's only one way to survive, and that is to fight.

There's only one path that leads to supremacy, and that is by fighting.

Railroad Journal

Good morning, Tetsuko-chan!

Morning, Punie-chan.

We'll be late if we don't hurry.

You're right.

Dr. Yellow's HO is a limited edition.

Handmade Noodles

What's wrong?

Ouch!

Tetsuko-chan, you okay?

This is horrible. Who'd make a pitfall?

You poor thing. I'll help you right away.

Think of that as my greeting, Punie.

Episode 3: Shocking Breakfast Strategy!?

If a Little Cuckoo Doesn't Chirp, Kill It!!

A pitfall?

That's unfortunate.

That's right. I'm angry.

Well, you should be careful.

There are a lot of people who hate your guts, including me.

Next up is Tanaka!

Right!

Here I go!

Tetsuko-chan.

Can you go ahead of me?

Sure.

Tetsuko Koku is going instead!

From Shinbashi with the sound of a whistle...

...our fast train leaves the station.

With the mountain of Atago within sight...

...you embark on a journey with the moon as your friend. There!

This huge pitfall...

Could it be...

You avoided it nicely, Punie.

You!

But your luck's run out.

I'm here to take your life!

Hole-digger Ellie. So it was you all along.

My name is Elise von Barbaroque.

Don't ever call me that again! Give me the right of succession!

Punie-chan.

Succession? Is she an assassin from the land of magic?

Royal authority is sacred. I can't give it to you.

As I expected.

Then die by viper fangs!

Tekerettsu paa!

Lyrical Tokarev, kill them all!

Mongooses, appear!

Those mongooses are so cute!

Looks like we can't settle it with magic.

Then...

We'll have to use physical attacks!

She got behind Punie!

Punie-chan!

She did it.

Punie is good. Every one of her moves can take me down.

If she gets a good grip, my joints will be bent in awkward directions!

Amazing... That lady is fighting toe to toe with Punie.

Come on, Punie-chan!

But your perfection is your greatest weakness.

That's where I'll strike!

She got her!

You fell for it!

A dummy!

Those cuffs have the magic-inhibiting mark of the evil god Anisakis.

Looks like you can't use your magic or your submission holds, Punie.

Stop!

Why are you doing such a cruel thing?

It's not right to take the throne by force!

This isn't right?

You've misunderstood!

The Tanaka family is the one who usurped the throne!

My father, King Barbaroque, was a wise monarch loved by his people.

But...

Suspicious empire

Rise and revolt! Overthrow the traitor!

We were cast out thanks to Punie's mother, Esmeralda, and her dirty plan.

I should've been the princess of Saint Magical Kingdom!

What? That can't be!

Punie-chan, say something!

Your father was incompetent, so he was overthrown.

What?

Punie-chan!

As a matter of fact, you should be grateful.

Since he was thrown out instead of beheaded.

The king was incompetent, so he's having a hard time getting a job.

He goes to the Hello Work hiring office daily...

...and Mother does housework and makes fake flowers.

We're in such needy circumstances, and our lives are like hell itself.

Now it's your family's turn to suffer!

Not good, not good.

Punie's in big trouble!

What should I do? What should I do?

Please calm down, honey.

Yes, but...

If she has trouble defeating such a foe...

...then she's unworthy of being my successor.

Die!

Did you think handcuffs could restrain me?

Shut up!

Princess Capoeira Kick!

You've misunderstood the meaning of a legitimate monarch.

You have to claim the throne with power!

Shut your mouth, little girl! You're still handcuffed, you know!

So you think it's over if I'm handcuffed?

Silly.

Such a thing in the 4,000-year history of submission holds...

It's over.

I assumed I'd win.

Princess Figure-four Leglock!

If I can just reverse this move...

Princess STF!

Princess Reverse Armbar!

Princess Prison Break.

Princess Chicken-wing Facelock!

Princess Monji Lock!

She might've been better off getting hurt by magic...

She's such a vicious woman.

Did I do too much? Oops.

What do you mean "oops"?

Episode 4:

Oh, So Cute! Did You Know the Chances of Having Twins Are 1/1 20?

Hey.

You there.

The old lady with the aging skin. Do you know this person?

Me? Are you talking about me?

Who else would it be?

There's only one person here with aging skin...

...and a lifeless, stiff face, old lady.

Old lady.

Oh, that's Punie-chan.

She's our friend.

Oh, you old ladies are friends with our sister?

I'm surprised that the brute actually has friends!

Are you two Punie-chan's younger sisters?

Her younger sister, Pyun Tanaka.

And Potaru Tanaka.

Remember our names, idiots!

They're definitely Punie's sisters. What vicious powers do they have...

Hurry up and take us to our sister.

Did you hear us, you idiot-faced blockhead?

If I go easy, they'll beat me.

You brats! You'd better watch what you say!

Ouch! It hurts!

That's terrible!

What are you doing, Anego-san?

What the hell? They're so weak.

I'll get revenge on Punie by taking it out on them.

Big Sister!

Pyun! Potarul!

Big Sister!

Pyun! Potarul!

They haven't seen each other in so long. Get yourselves pampered.

Hand over the right of succession to us, you rotten witch!

You evil witch!

That's why you came to Earth? You don't know when to quit.

Payatan and Hole-digger Ellie were the same.

Why does everyone from the land of magic want to kill Punie-chan?

The right of succession aside...

Don't use sharp objects in the streets!

We're sorry!

I have to go to school, so stay at the Punie house and behave.

Okay...

That's not like you. Letting them go after a spanking.

Oh, really?

It was too easy. They say even lions are serious when hunting rabbits.

Of course I'm serious...

...when I hunt.

Like I thought. You're vicious, Punie.

We came for her head, but we ended up really embarrassed.

We won't let her get away with this! That goby witch!

I'm Payatan!

Hey, fake mammal!

Come here for a second.

What is it, paya?

Are you giving me something good to eat, paya?

We're the only ones here, Payatan.

Or should I say Colonel Paya Livingston?

What is this about?

Abandon our sister and become our mascot.

We'll guarantee you'll succeed in life.

Oh, jeez. Not that story again...

Come up with a better story next time.

See you.

Wait!

You think you can get away by turning your back to us?

Listen, little girls.

Punie might be nice to you...

...but I'm not nice at all.

A pet with a bad mouth like that.

I'm disappointed, Potaru.

You're right, Pyun. I thought he'd make a good mascot.

Let's go find another one.

Those rings! Don't tell me...

S-Stop!

They're foul-mouthed, but your sisters are cute.

Right. They're much younger, so I adore them very much.

I end up pampering them.

Let's go!

I heard the sound of a carriage.

Let's go!

Payatan!

P-Punie-sama, be careful...

Payatan...

Those girls...

Those girls have in their hands...

Payatan!

Pyun... Potaru...

I think I'm a little angry now.

We're already angry.

You embarrassed us so many times in the past.

We can't go on without getting our revenge!

That's the royal family's class-A magic equipment...

The Ring of the Immoral!

Lyrical Tokarev, destroy everything!

What happened?

I am Zephel Yetzler.

A wandering soul with no master.

He's trouble, paya...

He's one of the oldest gods from before mythical times...

He's unbelievably strong, paya...

What now?

Magic is ineffective against a god, idiot.

Since he's that big, you can't use your submission holds, loser.

Give us the right of succession and we'll spare you, filthy punk.

On your knees. Cry and beg for your life, you bitch.

That's all you have to say?

What?

Say everything you're thinking.

Because they'll be your last words.

Pyun, don't hesitate. This is one of her usual dirty tricks.

She can't possibly win against a god.

Yeah, you're right.

Zephel, get rid of that insidious witch!

I told you before.

A champion uses submission holds.

He did it!

There's no submission hold that won't work!

Princess Figure-four Fingerlock!

Give up?

No! No!

Come on!

You're that witch from back then!

Long time no see, Zephel Yetzler.

Spare me!

Punie-chan, what did you do to that god?

Now...

Pyun, Potaru...

If you do this again, I'll keep applying submission holds again and again...

..till your flesh and bones turn to dust.

We're sorry!

As long as you understand. I'll make you some pancakes.

Yay! Yay! Yay!

I really like your pancakes!

And honey?

Of course. I'll pour plenty of it.

Yay!

Fear the land of magic...

You're getting closer to becoming a weak character like me.

If you bend the knees upside down...

...even your belief about crushing a rock becomes distorted.

Good, justice, and even the truth Is gone when you feel the pain.

Even those with fortitude have joints.

Take a look. This is the submission of a monarch.

As long as you have fortitude, you will prosper.

Next, "Can You Decide Someone's Value with Test Scores?"

"I'm Probably a Zero Anyway. That's Right."

"When I Saw You Sweep Back Your Bangs Under the Apple Tree...

...with the Flower-comb in Your Hair, I Thought You Were a Flower Too."