Original subtitles

First off of the day, two teams in the air. Mission is to seek and destroy.

You mean the mission is for the girls to let the boys win again?

That's not very cool, Bandit.

I'm hungry,

Papa. Let's eat. Also, they're many a style.

My favorite.

Shit, boo.

Aw, shit.

Thought I was gonna pop a light on her ass.

Hello, girls. Wanna dance?

She's going for a milk -a -lot, bandit.

Come on, baby.

Let me in.

Just the tip, I promise.

This is the part where we're supposed to lift up our skirts and give in. Fuck

that. What do you mean, fuck that?

I'm tired of being target practice with a boy. Santa, we aren't supposed to be

doing this.

Hold on to your ball, too. I'm tired of being a cheap date and selling what

we've got.

What the hell does she think she's doing?

Hold it right there.

Let's see what she's made of.

who I just got off the phone with.

No, don't answer it.

There's no way you could possibly know.

Sir, if I can just explain.

Just explain what? How you two, on your own, decided to break the rules of

engagement and go flying off on that little stunt in a multi -million dollar

aircraft, which, I remind you, is the property of the taxpayers of this great

nation. Sir, for the record, maybe you had no idea that I... What?

That you two just earned a chance to be the best?

The best, sir?

officer i just got off the phone with the head civilian coordinator of top

it seems the air force has been invited to compete and fly against the best the

best naval aviators god has ever seen so i've been asked to send our best

team of pilots and that's styles and papa and this is the part that's i

can't believe i'm going to say this but you're going to love it

I've also been asked to send a team of female pilots.

That's you two.

You two turds are going to Top Gun.

You'll be flying against the best of the best.

It's only the opportunity of a lifetime, ladies.

So don't fuck it up. Yes, sir.

We won't let you down, sir.

We'll see about that, won't we?

Now get the hell out of my office.

And ladies, congratulations.

That was some damn good flying out there.

The rumor.

So this is what they call the best of the best?

Don't worry, sweetie.

I don't bite.

I think I'll get my shots in anyways, sweetie.

Welcome to Top Guns, where you will have the chance to be the best of the best.

Yes, sir.

As you can see, We have the wonderful addition of two new female teams.

Finally, I'm going to cook and do my laundry.

Nevertheless, all of you will be competing against each other for overall

points. You will fly against one another, as well as whom I consider to

best damn naval aviator in the world, retired officer John James.

Call sign, gunman.

Take no mistake about it.

I will be flying against you, I will push you to your limit, and I will beat

you. I'm here to teach you the tactics of aerial combat, known as dogfighting.

Gentlemen, that is all.

Sweetheart, why don't you be a doll and grab me a cup of coffee?

I'll tell you what, flyboy.

Why don't we make it a beer or two?

Why don't we?

From what I hear, a couple of beers might improve your flying.

Jockey.

Vegas.

You're looking for me, I assume?

Commander Jensen.

So, how do they look?

Very pretty.

That's not what I meant and you know that if you're asking me if they look

male pilots and aviators And I'm afraid my answer still stands But very pretty

so I see you're opposed to the idea of female fighter pilots The

benefit of civilian influence in the aid of training and evaluating the aviators

is undisputed Your knowledge of enemy aircraft and dogfight

training tactics

are a very welcome commodity here.

Yes, but we're not talking about me. We're talking about female fighter

Vegas, my opinion of women in the military is at best a

distraction.

But don't worry, the Navy has gone out of its way to make sure that there are

separate sleeping quarters and showers for the women.

Well, I for one look forward to training and evaluating them on an equal basis.

Good to hear.

Commander Jensen.

Vegas, just Jensen would be fine.

How's it going, Spice?

My girls all tuned up and ready for me? You've been hammering them pretty hard,

Gun. You need to take it easy on them a little bit.

Come on, you know me, Spice.

I like to fly them hard.

I'm just saying.

Kiss her a little before you stick it in her.

guys here tonight, huh?

Yeah, if you like naval aviators.

But, they got beers.

Six beers to keep us covered.

We gotta fly tomorrow.

You know, some bad guys.

Back off, boo.

Have I ever let you down?

Come on. I'm the best.

Let's have fun tonight.

Speaking of the best, there she is, Hollywood.

First female naval aviator.

They call her Hollywood because she's got the looks of a movie star, but she

fly like a bat out of hell.

I heard it's because she sucked dick for gas money on Hollywood Boulevard.

Baby boo.

How's it hanging?

Mystery, bandit.

Bandit, mystery.

Finally decided to let the Air Force fly against the best, huh?

Yeah, well, it's good to see you here, too, Mr. E.

Would you like to know how to relieve a good behavior?

Pretty funny for a Barbie doll.

Easy, Mr. E. I don't need a bra tonight.

Hollywood, this is Bandit.

Nice to meet you.

Congratulations on being allowed to fly against the best.

So how does it feel?

How does what feel?

Knowing you're flying against the best.

You'll tell me.

Oh, yeah? Tell you what.

what it's like flying against the best.

Right. Bye, girls.

You never close.

Cute as hell.

Thank you. Glad you liked it.

Too bad it didn't work.

Oh, really?

So, for future reference, though, why not?

I'm a beer and hot wings kind of girl. Save that romantic shit for a school

teacher.

Hey, you didn't give me a chance.

I know some better songs.

Hey, I have an idea.

Why don't you stop being a fag and show me what a man you are?

Thank you.

you

Amen.

Find Gunman, where is he? I'm looking, I'm looking, Bandit.

Damn, I was hoping he'd forget to show up today.

Oh, shit, where'd he go? Where'd he go, Blue?

Damn, he's fast.

Come on, show me what you've done.

Runner 6, Van, do some of that pilot shit.

It's so cool.

Don't be all down on yourself.

That's the gunman, and he's the real deal.

She felt a bit weak on the throttle supply. She might want to take a look at

her. Had anyone else been up there, I might have had a problem.

Woo! That's right. That's how we do it.

A thing.

Why the sad faces, girls?

Didn't everybody beat the gunman?

Oh, that's right. We heard.

He swooped by, got below visual, and popped up on your suit.

Back to the hangover for you. Or should we say hangover?

You're just mad that she fucked your boyfriend last night.

Ex -boyfriend.

And I fucked him first.

Why didn't you tell me that was her ass?

Well, did it make a difference?

Damn, that gunman's fast.

What did you expect?

It's the ice.

We didn't sign a fucking chance.

We went this way. He went that way. Next thing you got guns blazing on us. We

were fucked.

Man, that sucks.

For you guys.

How'd you do?

We didn't ask him.

We called the fucking backs.

All right.

Even if you let it.

Yeah.

Nice work, man.

So, I hear the girls got locked in, too, then, huh?

Yeah, I heard about that. Nice.

Not really.

It's true.

Hollywood got in, too.

So, these chicks think they can fly, huh?

Nah.

They're chicks, man.

No way.

Hey, nice flying out there. You really bagged him.

Nice flying?

Shit, I'd call that great flying.

Yeah, whatever.

I'm just trying to be nice.

Heard you guys got lucky.

Luck had nothing to do with it.

Takes skill to kill.

But you guys are...

I know who was your ex -boyfriend.

There's no need to be mad.

Is that what you think I'm mad about?

Isn't it?

I don't get mad over Bardic.

I'm mad because you're letting us down. Letting us down? This is the first time

female aviators and pilots have been allowed to compete at Top Gun.

And? And this is our chance to show them what we got.

But you're going to embarrass us by getting drunk and getting laid.

What I do on my time is my business.

When you fly as bad as you did today, that's everybody's business.

What, you got something to say too?

No, she said it for us.

Us? What us?

Us. The girls.

What is this, grade school? Boys versus girls? Get real.

Come on, man.

Hey, girls.

How about a new game?

Boys versus girls, huh?

Don't worry.

We'll take it easy on you.

You think you got what it takes?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's Andrew, sweetie.

Bring you your baby rattles later. See you in the air. Maybe you can do better.

Just don't have to cry.

Crying's for pussies. Oh, wait!

Yeah!

Those guys killed us.

Of course they did. They're guys.

They're bigger, faster, stronger.

The game sucks. We got our asses handed to us. I'm so over listening to the

guys. Well, then quit.

Quit Top Gun? I don't think so.

I mean, quit losing to the boys.

But they're bigger, faster, and stronger.

Not where it counts, they're not.

Not in the air, they're not.

What do you mean?

In the air. The cockpit?

We're the same. We're equal.

She's right.

Hell yeah, I'm right.

When we fly, size doesn't matter.

Strength doesn't matter. What are you trying to say?

Ladies, if you can stop competing against each other and start flying

as a team, as a unit of fighter pilots, You can beat the boys in this

competition. This school is about excellence, and if you guys stick

you can achieve it together.

This isn't about me against you.

It's not about boo against mystery.

It's more than that now.

This is our chance to show that we're just as good as, no, better than the

Just like grade school, boys against the girls.

What'd he say?

I'm in. You too.

That's it, baby. One down, one to go.

Everhart's gone limp. Booyah!

We're playing over yet, boo. Check your six.

Dig deep. Grab those balls, baby.

Lift that skirt and bend over, ladies.

Here comes Papa.

Condoms on and ready for penetration.

Daddy will be home early because these boys are lit.

Let's get in a little secret, bandit.

Who's not wearing panties?

My kind of girl.

Kid, where did G come from?

Hello, boys, and welcome to Hollywood.

It's all on silent. Damn it, we've been set up. Do something, man.

Game over, man. We're dead.

Packed in by jets.

As you all know, the enemy jet of choice that you will most likely encounter is

the MiG.

Intelligence confirms that the North Koreans have already obtained several of

these faster, lighter, and more maneuverable jets.

Should you encounter these aircraft, some of you will need to be better

prepared.

As for you Rios, I suggest that you brush up on some of your reading

assignments.

Your pilot or aviator is relying on you to watch their back and our jet.

So, that will be all for today, ladies.

I'll give it back later.

Give what back?

Your ass, bitch.

Good flying out there today, girls.

You showed some real teamwork.

And you earned some respect.

Keep kicking ass, girls.

We're just getting started.

Hey, Daddy.

You're in here all alone.

Trying to get some stroke relief?

It's Papa.

Not them.

Yes, Daddy.

I mean... Papa.

But I can read your mind.

Hmm.

I'd like to see that.

Pick a number.

Between one and ten.

I'll tell you what it is.

Okay.

Seven, isn't it?

You're good.

Want to play again?

Yeah, sure.

But I can tell you what you're thinking in about one minute.

I bet you're thinking about how much you'd like to come over here and taste

Come on, Papa.

Come over here and taste me.

They had a new cookie.

Thank her.

Mm.

Mm.

Ah.

I like to play, huh?

Are you gonna play with me now?

Are you gonna play with me?

Mm.

Ah.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Ooh.

and I choke and I suck in your cough.

Yeah. You like that, Papa?

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

Great work, Hollywood.

Not good.

Good test.

You'll get better, hopefully.

F, you really need to concentrate.

Boo. Great job.

How's it going?

Seems to be going pretty well.

So,

do you like music?

Do you like this song?

Yeah.

Well, do you want to dance?

Sure.

What I said

was, do you want... a dance

Let's get it, boys. All right, guys. Let's do this.

Come on.

Go.

You are?

No. I know exactly where I am.

Okay.

I know you only have a minute, but can I ask you a question?

Yeah. You make it quick.

Do you believe in deep -burning sexual attraction?

You know, the kind that you can only describe as primal, uncontrollable,

real?

Yeah, I guess.

And how do you know when you feel real

attraction?

Uh, not to sound like a fag or anything, but probably when you get that feeling

in your stomach.

You mean like butterflies?

And when it starts in your stomach, do you feel it well up?

Like it's hotter and hotter and feels like it's glowing?

Like your heart's on fire?

And your whole self is telling you that you really, really

are attractive to this girl.

It's a great feeling, isn't it?

Attraction.

I want you to have these.

I want you to think of me every time you feel trapped.

I forgot my phone.

Ooh.

Oh.

DQ'd? I mean, DQ'd, sir?

It would seem that our jets don't fly themselves.

Apparently they need pilots to help them race through the air at marked speeds.

Gentlemen, if this great country of ours is ever in peril or imminent threat

from some foreign cocksucker in a jet plane armed with missiles... I guess all

the good people of this nation can be assured that the Girl Scouts and prom

queens of yesterday will be there to prevent us all from the invasion.

It would seem that your two teams are ahead in overall points.

And it also seems that you two are tied.

But I'm really proud of you two girls.

You ladies pulled it together.

You worked as a team.

You've earned your respect in the air.

And here on the ground, too.

So, whatever happens now is up to you two.

Good luck and fly hard.

Well, I guess tomorrow's your chance.

Chance to fly against the best.

Bandit, wait.

Good luck out there tomorrow.

May the best man win.

I will.

Bye. Hey, good luck, you guys.

You girls really stepped it up this time.

You girls better hold on tight today. What did you do?

Um, let's just say, you know your jets?

Yeah. Well, I spiced them up a little.

This is the last half of your competition.

You'll be flying over water, ladies.

First team to score will win the tournament.

In the case of a no score, you go to a sudden death following that.

Ladies.

You guys have some pretty fucking big balls.

You can be my wingman anytime.

Thanks, Everhard. You have some pretty big balls, too. You can be my wingman

anytime. Hey, let's get some beer. I'll buy it. Yeah, that means... I'm buying.

We'll catch up with you guys in a minute.

Us girls have something to do.

Hey, gunman.

We need to talk to you.

Yeah, what is it? You still think you're the ace pilot around here?

Yeah, I do.

But it seems I'm not alone. You guys did a good job out there. I'm proud of you.

I'll fly with any of you anywhere, anytime.

You'll fly with us?

That's what I said.

But you need to fly with us.

Huh? You heard her.

You ready to fly, gunman?

You ever refuel the plane in midair, gunman?

Of course.

You make it in the hole every time, don't you?

I'm always on target.

But what if you were surrounded by enemy fighters?

I take them down one by one.

Oh, okay. That is all.

I love you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, God.

So I guess we'll never know who the best is.

Oh, I know who the best is, honey.

So do I.

So, two winners, huh?

Shall we call it a tie?

No.

Let's call it a victory.

A victory for women across the nation.

Wow, I'm impressed.

Let's call it a tie between boys versus girls.

You know, I think history has been made today.

Yes, and thanks to our girls, it's safe to say.

Vegas?

Would you care to join me for a drink in the officer's club?

Well, frankly, I was hoping for something a little more private.

But, Vegas, I'm a commander,

not a private.

Mmm.

Congratulations. Thank you sir.

Congratulations to you too.

Thank you sir.

How about some beers?

I'm buying.

No.

I'm buying the first round.

And I'll get the one after that.