Original subtitles

♪ Their mission, save the world

♪ Fighting crime and evil ambition

♪ BFFs in action

♪ Fun agents with gadgets And passion

♪ One, two, three, girls

♪ Hurry up, you're gonna win

♪ Totally Spies. ♪

MANIACAL LAUGH

The time has come to unleash my most diabolical invention -

the ultra-mega, super-awesome, really-quite-nasty space laser.

MEOWS Aw.

You like the nasty space laser, don't you, Mittens?

Computer, activate operation Antarctic Annihilation!

Prepare to be pulverised, pole. Ha-ha!

COMPUTER: New target acquired. Huh?!

But that's here! What on earth?!

Mittens?

What are you doing?!

MITTENS YOWLS

Mittens, no! Bad kitty!

Mittens!

But... But... Sorry, Alex.

You know I love your puppy-dog eyes, but we just can't have a puppy dog.

Ooh, but look at him!

How can you say no to such a Cutie McSweetie?

Eurgh. He looks like Fleas-y McSlobbery.

I think it'd be nice to have a pet,

but there'd be no-one to take care of it

when we're out on missions.

Very well. I'm afraid you leave me no other choice.

Please! Please, please, please, please, please, please, please!

Sorry, Sam, those aren't for you.

They are for...

WHISPERS: ..the Shadow.

The who? That's just it. I've never met him.

He orders online, I put the drinks down,

and as soon as I turn my back, whoosh, they disappear.

Ooh! Ah-ah!

THEY GASP

Oh!

Whoa!

HE YAWNS

GIRLS SCREAM

WOMAN SLURPS

You WOOHP your drink orders?

Well, I do prefer my bubbles fresh.

But I'm afraid you're here on an even more important matter.

Over the past several weeks, WOOHP has received reports

of villains vanishing in their own lairs.

We believe that an evil mastermind may be "villain-napping" them,

so to speak.

OK, so less villains - that's a good thing, right?

That depends on what this mastermind is planning.

Your mission is to locate and interrogate the villain-napper.

I suggest you kick off your search in The Inventor's lair.

Half of it has just disappeared, and not because of the volcano.

You got it, Jer-Z!

Please, never call us that again.

THEY CHUCKLE

Now, as for your gadgets...

GIRLS GASP Is my bubble tea here?

HE SLURPS Mmm...

I thought that was an extra. Huh?

Don't worry, Tobes. I'll bring you a new one when we come back.

Well, someone's getting the good gadget. Oh!

Hm. These are ultra-sensitive motion-detecting hair clips.

I made them match your eyes. GIRLS: Wow!

Sam, this is an electromagnetic curling wand.

And, Alex,

you're getting the infinitely extendable back scratcher.

Off you trot, spies. And don't forget your life jackets.

Life jackets? Why do we need...?

Whoa!

THEY SCREAM

WATER SPLASHES

Never mind.

There it is!

Hmph! Why can't these bad guys ever build their lair some place nice?

HIGH-PITCHED WHISTLING

BOTH: Mm-hm.

Hm.

Come on. Let's go.

DRONES WHIR

I'm picking up some strange frequencies.

CAT MEOWS What was that?

My hair clips will sniff it out.

There!

Careful, Alex. It could be anything down there.

I got this.

ALEX GASPS BOTH: Alex!

What is it?

MEOWS It's... It's...

Aw, it's kittens!

Aw! They must've been abandoned here.

Aw, you wittle cuties!

They're evil.

What? Anything that adorable has got to be hiding something.

Sam, scan these suspects for evil, please.

That's not a thing, but I can test their organic make-up.

Well, they're not robots or aliens, just three normal cats.

Normal? Ha-ha! They're not normal.

They're the schmootsiest, cutiest, bootsiest, floofy-flooffies ever!

Don't worry, Meowy, Missy and Mittens. You're coming with me.

To the animal shelter? Ooh!

OK, OK, leave some oxygen for the rest of us.

I guess they could stay with us for a little while.

Ugh, fine, but remember, furballs, I got my eye on you.

THEY MEOW

KITTENS MEOW, FREQUENCY WHINES

Hm.

Hello? Is anyone going to say anything about my new sweater?

I'm distressed it might be too distressed.

Sorry, Clover. I have to finish analysing this frequency.

Mm.

Oh, so cute!

Finally, sweet validation.

They're totally adorbs!

Look at this one with his wittle paw-paw! Aw.

Er, hello? They're not adorbs. They're probably evil.

And can everyone stop saying "wittle"?

Aw, is someone a wittle... jealous?

Er, me, jealous? Ha! Tell her, Alex.

Well...

I am not jealous! I have a sweater, people.

BOTH: Aw!

Ugh, whatever. Hey.

MEOWS

Bye-bye, losers.

SNORING

CATS GROWL

CLOVER SNORES

BEEPS

THEY YOWL Hey!

You are evil!

Alex, Sam, guess who was totally right?

Argh!

Ha! You furballs think you have a chance

against a trained super-spy?

THEY MEOW Ow!

OK, wasn't expecting that.

THEY YOWL

SHE GRUNTS

CATS GROWLING

Ow! Ah!

CLOVER GRUNTS

Get off of me!

Ah, ah!

Ah! You ripped my rip!

That's it!

Cuddle time is over! GRUNTS

THEY GROWL

Argh!

Agh!

You have gadgets?

Argh!

I should've so said yes to that puppy.

Argh!

Ow!

Ah!

SHE GRUNTS

Do paw-don the hospitality,

but I'm afraid you were getting awfully close to the truth.

Who are you?

The name is Empress Cleocatra,

but feel free to call me Empress.

Hm. Huh?

Welcome home, my darlings.

THEY MEOW

Is that a cat remote?

Brilliant, isn't it?

Ha-ha, cats, you see, make the purr-fect spies.

Villains have cats. Presidents have cats.

Ah-ha, and of course, the internet is entirely dominated by cats.

Er, what about Fluffy Puff, the dancing hamster?

Silence! Ah.

With my cat collars, I can control any feline on earth,

and she who controls the pets, controls their owners.

And if they resist, you cat-nap them!

And they say good help is hard to find.

DOG BARKS Eurgh!

Now all I need to do is in-fur-trate WOOHP,

and I'll become the greatest villain in hiss-tory!

LAUGHS MANIACALLY

OK, that's way too many puns.

And also, ha! You'll never even find WOOHP!

I don't need to find it, deary.

My kitten minions will be taken to it.

As if!

THEY MEOW

Guess who's coming to work with Mommy?

You sweet fluffin-muffins.

We wouldn't have to go to work

if your fluffin-muffins hadn't broken my Compowder.

Aw, my cutsie-poos did a bad-bad, didn't they?

This is serious, Alex.

I needed my Compowder to figure out that frequency.

Now we have to WOOHP over to WOOHP instead.

I know it's serious. Look, I made them wittle seatbelts.

We should get going. Where's Clover? Hmm? Oh!

"Me go mall, Clover."

Er, when did Clover start writing in crayon?

Well, we can't wait. Prepare for emergency WOOHPing.

BOTH: Ah!

Argh!

Oof!

Ooh, good thing you're here, spies.

Apparently, three more villains have gone missing.

The situation could not be more dire.

HE GASPS Look at these little munchkins!

Boo-boo-boo-boo-boo!

'I'm going to snuggy-wuzzy you all day long!'

Eurgh.

Eurgh. We better crack this thing fast.

THEY CHUCKLE

There's that frequency again. It was in The Inventor's lair, too.

Huh, looks a little like a mind-control signal.

I thought about that, but these kilohertz,

they're way past what a human could hear. Hmm.

Hold on!

SHE GASPS

Jerry, Alex, step away from those kittens!

Ha, I knew Sam would figure it out.

Hm, I suppose I'll have to alter my plans.

LAUGHS MANIACALLY

Looks like WOOHP is about to go cat-put.

Ah! Hold your kittens, Cleo.

Cyberchac?!

I gave you my mind-control tech so that you could find WOOHP,

not so that you could destroy it.

Cyberchac, pussycat.

Surely, you realise this opportunity is too purr-fect to pass up.

Argh, with the cat puns already!

Leave WOOHP to me.

No, I'm going to blow WOOHP up,

and when I do, every villain on this planet

will know that I am the kitty supreme.

LAUGHS MANIACALLY

Oh, shoot. Fur-well, WOOHP.

CLOVER GASPS

What?!

MEOWS

YOWLS

These cats are dangerous.

Dangerous, these meowing mousers?

Oh, my. Seriously?!

THEY GROWL

I'm beginning to see your point.

THEY GROWL

Missy, Meowy, Mittens, y-you don't wanna do this!

It's no use, Alex. They're being mind-controlled!

The important thing is that we keep them isolated inside this lab.

THEY GASP

Anyone for bubbles? SHE GASPS

Drat! Uh-oh.

CLEOCATRA LAUGHS

CLEOCATRA: 'Fur-well, WOOHP.' What?!

Maybe I can't stop you myself, you flea-ridden loser,

but I do know someone who can.

Ha-ha-ha!

Huh? CLEOCATRA LAUGHS

No-one can stop me meow!

I said no more cat puns.

Ever heard of the wind-tunnel hairdo?

GADGET BLOWS Ooh!

Oof!

CATS MEOWING

THEY PANT

DINGS

They're headed for the geo-core! The what?

There's no time to explain!

MUZAK PLAYS

Well, I suppose we have a little time to explain.

The geo-core powers every WOOHP hub all around the world.

It's kind of like our engine, except, you know, huge.

But why would the kittens go there?

Because if they destroy the hub... It will be the end of WOOHP world.

Not to worry, though.

The geo-core is protected by our top people!

CLATTERING, THEY GASP

THEY PANT

MEOWING

Ah, we're toast.

CLATTERING, GLASS SMASHING

Ah-ooh! Ha-ha!

Ah! Oh! Ooh, argh!

Give it up, Empress.

Give it up? But I've already won.

In three minutes, your WOOHP is gonna go boom,

and there's nothing you or your friends can do about it.

Ha-ha-ha! Grr!

GASPS Stay away from that!

I suppose you could have the cats open the chamber from the inside.

Ooh, good idea! Thanks, super-villain.

Grr! CLOVER GASPS

Rah!

Argh! Ooh! SHE THUDS

Easy-peasy!

Ugh.

Let me see now.

That looks right. Take that!

KITTEN GASPS

This is so neat!

Wait, can I make them do the cha-cha? Grr!

BOTH: Aw!

This is so going to break the internet.

Argh! Hey, I was playing with that!

Huh! Wuh-ooh!

Rah!

CLEOCATRA HISSES

Ah!

Ha!

Eurgh, gross!

Ha-ha-ha!

Try reprogramming my kittens now, you mangy mutt.

Grr! Oh! Ugh.

THEY GASP

ALARM BLARES

ANNOUNCEMENT: Danger, danger. Two minutes to geo-core overload.

Toby, see if you can find a way to stop that frequency.

Spies, let's show these felines who's boss.

YOWLS

THEY GRUNT

Come on, kitties, I know you're not like that on the inside.

It's the outside we need to worry about.

THEY SCREECH

ZERLINA GASPS Oh!

HISSES

GRUNTS

SCREECHES

Ah! Hmph!

SCREECHES, LASER ZAPS

Ah!

SHE PANTS, GRUNTS

SHE GROANS, HE GASPS

That was my favourite tie. You have other ties?

CAT GROWLS

CAT SCREECHES Ah!

Huh!

Alex, get to the controls! I'll cover you with my curling wand.

Huh?

Huh!

Gotcha!

Eek, hairballs!

Toby, how are we doing on that frequency?

Almost got it! CAT YOWLS

Ah!

ANNOUNCEMENT: 'Core overload in 30 seconds.'

WOMAN: Agh! MAN: Let's get out of here!

ALARM BLARES

Alex, you have to abort that overload!

On it. Whoa! Ah!

SCREECHES Ah!

Mm.

MEOWS

Aw! Does someone need a scratchy-scratch?

Alex, no! He's just trying to distract you!

Here you go, I got just the thing.

THEY GASP

Who's a wittle poochy-smoochy?

ANNOUNCEMENT: 'Three, two, one.

'Overload aborted.'

Sorry, Mittens, but I'm a spy first and a cat person second.

SCREECHES Ugh!

Well done, Jerry!

HISSES Whoa!

YOWLS Frequency jammed!

YOWLS, MEOWS

Aw!

THEY MEOW

Erm, you do remember that you were trying to blow us up a second ago?

Snuggle party!

Ha-ha-ha!

That'll teach them about messing with claw-enforcement!

Tell me I didn't just say that.

Hey, erm... I'm sorry I said you were jealous of the cats.

Well, maybe I was a little.

Are you OK with them staying at WOOHP?

It's the best thing for them, and Zer said I can come visit any time.

Who'd have thought WOOHP had a spy training programme for cats.

Aw!

THEY CHUCKLE

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