Original subtitles

♪ Their mission, save the world

♪ Fight any crime and evil ambition

♪ BFFs in action

♪ Fun agents With gadgets and passion

♪ One, two, three Girls, hurry up, you're gonna win

♪ Totally Spies. ♪

Ugh, what's taking so long?

I want my Kaya toast already!

"Order cancelled due to excessive tapping"?

Argh!

AUTOMATED VOICE: 'Please try again after you learn self-control.'

Self-control?

Aaaah! I'll show you self-control!

Aaaah!

Ah! Fine! I'll make it myself.

SHE GRUNTS

BEEPING Huh?

Stupid smart toaster.

BEEPING CONTINUES, METALLIC CLANK

Cut it out, you!

SHE GRUNTS

GASPS

Ah!

DEEP WARBLE Huh?

ELECTRICITY CRACKLING

Aaarghhh!

YAWNING

SNIFFS Ugh, what reeks?

GAS HISSING Oh, no, I think Sam's...

Voila! ...cooking.

Today, we'll be enjoying some dough bonbons in preserved gelee.

Mm, not sure "enjoying" is the right word there.

Ow!

They look amazing, Sammy. Where'd you get them?

Alien autopsy? Ow!

I mean, where'd you get the recipe?

It's from Chef Flambay's molecular cooking cookbook.

Huh?

He's a culinary genius.

More like an evil genius.

Ha! Missed me.

Ow!

I'll go get some more gelee.

Clover, we have to be sensitive about Sam's cooking.

She takes it as personally as she takes her science experiments.

CHUCKLING: Yes!

I think these ARE her science experiments.

Shh! Sensitive!

Bon appetit.

Aaaah! Wooh-aah-ah!

Mmm-hm-hm, that's really good.

Ugh.

HIGH-WITCHED WARBLE ALL: Huh?

Whoa!

ALL SCREAM

ALL GROAN

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you...

for spoiling a lovely meal.

Whoa!

ELECTRONIC CHIME

Apologies, ladies, but I'm afraid we have a major crisis on our hands.

What is it, Zer? Giant robots?

Evil aliens? Evil golf-playing robot aliens?

It's worse - faulty kitchen appliances.

THEY GROAN

Seems kinda minor for a major crisis.

Yeah, are we supposed to save the world now AND fix dishwashers?

These appliances aren't merely malfunctioning.

They've been described as, well, aggressive.

ELECTRONIC CHIME Aggressive?

Ah!

NERVOUS GIGGLES How could an oven be aggressive?

Maybe Sam cooked in it...

which made the oven angry

because it knew it would never make anything so delicious again!

Can we just get back to the gadgets?

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

COUGHING Did something blow up in here?

ALL: Wow.

PLAYS GUITAR SOLO

MUSIC STOPS

Oh, hey! I'm just...

I mean, I'm totally not using WOOHP security lasers

to pretend I'm a rock star... again.

Ooh, nice lash lines. Thanks!

Ahem.

Just a bit of gadget grease. So...

we've got laser gadgets galore today.

Laser nail clipper, laser parasol, and laser lipstick -

now with laser lip gloss.

Finally! You really do rock, Toby.

Yeah, you do!

You've even got a Chef Flambay all-in-one ultra cooker!

Food, fashion and fab gizmos. You are the all-in-one.

Ready for a hole in one, Zer?

Ah, that explains the headgear.

Time to tee-off, Dad. You too, spies.

Totally! Where are we going first?

Tokyo? London? Rio?

GASPS Is it New York?

DOORBELL RINGS

What are you losers doing here?

Hi, Mandy.

I can't believe we have to spy on her.

Clover, you'll blow our cover!

Cover? What cover?

She means our cover story. That's why we're here.

We're doing a story for AIYA's website

on the academy's "trendsettingest" students.

And we want you on the home page.

Landscape or portrait?

Don't even think about touching anything.

Yeah, as if we'd even want to touch your...

GASPS

You have a shoe cabinet?

And an indoor gym?

Wow, jealous much? Sheesh.

What? Is that a Superserver 10,000?

Oh! Give me that keyboard. Breathe, Sammy.

Why don't we let Alex shoot some candids

while you and I go fix everyone a snack?

I did always picture you two as my maids.

LAUGHS

Don't use the toaster. It's acting wild.

I had to subdue it with my MMMA.

Hi-ya! The first M is for Mandy.

Yeah. We'll just use plain bread.

Ugh, Mandy doesn't deserve a Superserver.

She probably can't even program a CPU overclock.

I don't think Mandy can program a regular clock.

BEEPING

Well, here's our suspect.

I got this.

Why did you do it, Toasty? Tell me the truth!

Hmm. Suspect appears to be an inanimate object.

Look, it's not even plugged in.

I bet Mandy just made the whole thing up.

Ooh, but at least this won't be a total waste of time

because I'm going to make Chef Flambay's emulsified mackerel

with spinach sauce!

Ugh...

Yum!

DEEP WARBLE Ugh.

Hey, who moved Toasty?

BOTH GASP, SCRAMBLED WARBLING

BOTH: Aargh!

CAMERA CLICKS

Make sure you get my good side.

Just kidding, they're all good!

CRASH What's that?

Oh, I'm sure it's nothing.

You know, I think you'd look even better

if we let in some natural noise.

I-I mean light.

Ah! They're extra crispy!

Oh, yeah? Well, take that!

I did not mean that literally.

Whoa!

WARBLING

All right, that's it, time for a laser lipstick blast.

No blasting. We have to be stealthy or Mandy will come in here.

OK, OK, I'll be stealthy.

Ugh!

Grrr!

Aaaaah!

What's going on there?

Huh?! ALEX GASPS

Toaster terminated.

Grrr!

I mean, "Help, help! Save us, Mandy!"

I don't suppose you'd like some mackerel to go with that?

We'll get this fixed for you.

Get out!

Huh?

Take this criminal in for a full interrogation, Tobes.

Uh...

OK, don't let it fool you, this toaster is armed and dangerous.

I mean, it literally has an arm.

Er... I don't really think a toaster has the CPU brains to go rogue.

Me neither, which means somebody must be controlling it.

The containment cage, please.

Argh! It's got me!

Just kidding!

GUITAR SOLO ALL: Huh?

Whoa, your arm can play guitar by itself?

I may be testing out some musically-themed upgrades.

Neat! Can it do that fluffy puff hamster song?

Of course. Wanna see?

BEEPS AND WARBLES

DIGITAL DISTURBANCE

BEEPING

Ah, that hamster theme is a national treasure.

Wait till you see it with the light show!

Whoa, who's doing that?

ALARM BEEPS

Look out! Whoa!

HE GASPS, GAS HISSES

Whoa! SAM GASPS

THEY GRUNT

OK, not a fan of the interactive theatre here.

I don't get it. Who's controlling the lasers?

WARBLING

Hm!

Nice try, Toasty, but we've got some lasers of our own.

BEEPS AND WARBLES

ALL GASP What's with these loser lasers?

Argh!

That toaster, it's hacking into all the WOOHP devices!

Not our drones!

Argh! OK, new plan.

Run!

ALL SQUEAL

Tobes, what about your arm? Is it gonna go rogue too?

It can't, I took it off-line when I did the upgrades.

LASERS FIRING, THEY WAIL

ALEX GRUNTS

ALL SCREAM

That won't hold them for long.

If I can get to my arm, I could try to override them.

Right. You do that while we keep them busy.

Hey, Toasty, "crumb" at me!

WHISTLING

SHE GASPS

LASERS ZAPPING, THEY WAIL

This way!

Argh!

Uh-oh.

ALL WAIL

Whoa! CRASH

Clover! CLOVER GROANS

Hey, is this a hatch?

Ah! Yes!

Come on, spies, jump!

Ah!

ALL SCREAM

THUDDING, GROANING

Where are we?

Whoa.

Look at these.

It's like all the old stuff

from those videos where kids see old stuff.

Old is good.

These things have no processors,

which means they can't go evil on us.

And I do dig the style.

Matcha bubble tea - blended, not syruped.

I think this must be an old WOOHP office.

"Class of 1967.

"Agent Gerald Lewis."

GASPS Gerry?

I am so wiping my memory the second we get out of here.

I just hope Toby got to his arm.

CRACKLING

Time to whack this hack.

Huh?

CRACKLING

Hmm. There's got to be something around here that'll help us.

COUGHING: Ugh, gross!

Argh! BEEPING

Not you, too!

Whoa! THEY GASP

Oh, no! And our spy suits!

Wait, don't destroy your compowder yet, Clover.

It might save the day after all.

What are you doing? Packet sniffing.

SNIFFS I can't smell anything.

CHUCKLES It means I'm tracing the signals

the compowder's getting, to try to figure out who's controlling it.

BEEP Argh!

There! Huh, that's strange.

The signal, it's coming from a restaurant in New York.

New York? I'm all about the Big Apple.

And if that's where the baddie's at, let's go take a bite.

Whoever's behind this, beating them won't be easy without our gadgets.

Maybe these can help.

Ah! Nice one, Alex!

These analogue gizmos are totally unhackable.

Zipwire-firing wristwatch!

Exploding pen!

GASPS

Genuine retro spring-loaded knee-high go-go boots!

SAM GASPS Girls, we're going vintage.

New York, here we come! Hold on.

We can't trust any smart devices, right?

Uh-huh. Well, isn't our jet kind of smart?

Oh. Good point.

So what do we do?

Aw, come on, come on, I wanna play my game.

Hey, give it to me! Come on! I wanna play my game!

Ugh. So not cool.

THEY GRUNT

BEEP

ALL: Ya!

GRUNTING

Hmm. According to my readings, the signal that controlled our gadgets

is coming from behind this reinforced window.

Ah!

Don't sweat it, Sammy.

These boots were made for smashing.

Nice of you to drop by. SAM GASPS

Chef Flambay?!

Called it. This is such an honour!

Not so fast.

Hey, wait a second.

How did you know we were coming?

I had a feeling you wouldn't let your friend here dine alone.

TOGETHER: Toby! Are you OK?

Peachy (!)

What are you playing at, Flambay?

Alex, you're supposed to call him Chef.

But... what are you playing at?

A little game called vengeance.

The Chef Flambay all-in-one ultra cooker,

it was supposed to be the best-selling kitchen gadget

of all time, but then...

Now all you need to do is toss the ingredients

into the Flambay ultra cooker, press this button, and...

WHIRRING

EXPLOSION

LAUGHTER

So I found a programmer who'd work for food,

and we created a virus to put my rage

into every kitchen appliance in the world!

Not so funny now, am I?

EVIL LAUGH

I'm sorry, Chef, but...

Holy mackerel, is that your mackerel?

Why, yes. Would you like some?

Sam, he's, like, evil.

Also, that fish smells like Alex's gym socks. Ugh.

Ah, the unsophisticated palate - a true chef has no greater foe.

I'm afraid we have to take you in.

Oh, really?

Well, then, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you out!

Or more specifically, THEY will.

Now, if you'll pardon me, I have to prepare tomorrow's menu.

So long, spies!

Whoa!

Alex, you get Toby.

Clover and I are going to take these appliances out of commission.

You got it!

Can you believe that guy called my palate unsophisticated?

Well... What?

It's just...

...you don't really like to try new things.

Yeah, when they're weird and scary.

ALEX STRAINS

You could at least taste them first.

All right, fine.

Ah!

GRUNTS

You know what?

WARBLING

Here, I'll try whatever this is.

Oh.

Hey, that's actually pretty good. See?

Look out, it's Mandy's toaster!

Is something I never thought I'd say in a fight.

THEY SCREAM

Let go of my friend!

Alex, ice-maker!

Oh! Whoa!

ICE-MAKER FIRING

STRAINS This thing is super strong!

It's payback time.

Are you telling me you can turn your arm into a disco ball?

Ya!

Yes!

I knew those musical upgrades would come in handy.

Wow, this really is good!

Huh! Think I got an idea.

Oops, sorry!

I know you're not supposed to throw food away.

I think we can make an exception.

Whoa!

Hey, Toasty, toast this!

WHIRRING

Exploding pen, what a classic.

Hey, Flambay's getting away!

BUBBLING

Put up your oven mitts, Chef. You're coming with us.

Never!

Hya!

Ah! Whoa!

Boy, the critics must really love this place.

Oh, trouble brewing at six o'clock.

RUMBLING

SCREAMING

Show them no mercy, my minions.

Huh? Actually, wait, stop!

Argh, jinxed by my own gelee!

Time for some take-out.

Hang on, everyone! Argh!

ALL: Whoa!

Well, you can't beat that view.

Is this a good time to ask about your souffle recipe?

HE SOBS

I'll wait.

FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS, TOASTER WHIRRING

LAUGHTER

Did I say you could have a vintage-themed party down here?

Er...

Because you absolutely can!

Party on, spies. That's an order.

Oh, yeah! Woohoo!

Let's hope you dance better than you play golf, Dad.

Hm!

Nice job reprogramming the appliances, Tobes.

Ah, that's nothing.

Check this out!

GUITAR SOLO

Woohoo!

So, what happened to Chef Flambay?

Let's just say the food in our space jail cafeteria

has got a lot better lately.

Speaking of food...

Argh, what is it this time? Custard with tuna?

Sausages in banana sauce?

LAUGHS Just kidding.

I'm gonna try it, no matter how gross it looks.

It's a Singapore salad.

Sammy, that looks amazing!

Made with a little more love and a little less molecular cooking.

It's a vintage recipe.

Whoa! Seriously, is there any way in which vintage does not rule?

LAUGHTER

Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com