Original subtitles

THEME SONG: Sam, Clover, Alex, woo!

We love the fashion world.

We are "Totally Spies."

Genuine secret agents.

Because we never give into fear.

Sam, Clover, Alex, woo!

We win every day of the year.

S-P-I-E-S. We are "Totally Spies."

Ever since losing my beloved ship in battle,

I've been searching the high seas for her replacement.

Shiver me timbers!

The WOOHPtanic is the prettiest ship I've ever seen.

I can't wait to make her mine.

Clover had better get here soon.

I've got journalism class in exactly 37 minutes.

CLOVER: Come on, girls!

Should we go healthy salads lunch,

or all out veggie burgers with the works!

Huh?

Please tell me you're starring in some kind of play.

About a wayward pirate who gets a total fashion makeover?

If you're referring to my cutting edge ensemble,

pirate chic is all the rage on the spring runways.

SAM: Hm.

It's just a bit much.

Yeah!

Maybe you could break it up a bit.

You know, wear the slouchy boots with a cute summer dress.

- Arg, matey!

--flop, you get to walk the plank!

You wouldn't know a hot fashion trend

if it was featured on the front page of a magazine, Mandy,

which it is!

Soon everyone on campus will be wearing this.

Puh-lease.

All you need to complete that ridiculous get up

is a well-trained parrot.

Oops!

I forgot.

That's what Sam and Alex are for.

Ugh.

Nice one, Mandy.

Hm.

Sheesh!

Could you at least throw down a cushion or two, Jer?

Oh, my.

How apropos.

How did you know we'd be taking to the high seas, Clover?

That's it!

The next person who makes a pirate joke gets the hook.

Nice surrounds.

So where are we off to today, Jerry?

Why, the amazing WOOHPtanic of course.

No way!

Oh, don't get too excited, girls.

While this isn't a mission per se,

it's definitely not a pleasure cruise.

I'll be presenting a new line of gadgets to my top agents.

Presentation?

Oh, yeah.

We're all over it, Jer.

But that still leaves the rest of the day

for sunning and funning, right?

Well, yes, I suppose it does.

Clover may be prepared, but how are Sammy

and I supposed to board the ultra posh WOOHPtanic

without luggage?

Already taken care of. I packed for you.

Not only is that a major violation of our privacy, Jer,

but you packed winter clothes.

Oh, dear.

Uh, so I did.

SALTY SCHOONER: The time has finally

come for me to make my move.

Make my move!

I can't wait to check out the spa.

Totes!

I could really use a hot stone massage.

Talk about cute agents galore!

Who knew so many hot guys worked for WOOHP?

Huh?

What?

I winked and he totally ignored me!

SAM: Maybe he ignored you because he lacks x-ray vision.

How is he supposed to see you winking

through that ridiculous eye patch?

Uh.

Oh.

Oopsie.

My bad.

There's plenty of time for fun later, girls.

Right now it's time for my highly anticipated gadget

presentation.

Welcome to the WOOHP gadget show,

the dawn of a new era in gadget creation with your host,

the incomparable Jerry!

This had better get better fast, or I

may need another eye patch to hide the fact that I'm sound

asleep.

The CE 5000, or Camouflage Your Environment 5000,

can, at the press of a button, camouflage anything within

a half mile radius of the user.

It even comes complete with a menu of over 10,000

preprogrammed images.

The EROS, or Electromagnetic Radiator for Overhearing Stuff.

While its name evokes love, please don't be fooled.

This powerful ray can vaporize and warm up

anything a baddie unleashes on an unsuspecting world.

The Ooey Gooey Blaster Caps pack quite a sticky punch.

Once deployed, they immobilize a villain

in a substance 1,000 times stickier

than molasses on a cold winter's day.

Oh.

Oops.

Luckily, there's an antidote back at WOOHP.

And finally the WATT, or WOOHP Amazing Temporary Tattoo.

When slapped on a villain's arm, the tattoo

becomes real and instantly ties him or her up.

That was so good.

Well done.

Yeah!

Wowza!

Jerry totally outdid himself this time.

Yeah!

I can't wait to try out those bad boys on some baddies.

Jer.

You OK?

Actually, no.

I-- I'm feeling rather woozy all of a sudden.

Why don't you go back to your cabin and lie down?

Excellent idea, Clover.

I'll see you ladies later at the tropical picnic luau.

Finally some down time!

If you need me, I'll be at the spa.

Me too.

And I'll be the one--

--in mortal life-threatening danger

by incoming cannon balls!

ALEX: What's happening?

No idea!

But it looks like the cannon balls are armed

with some kind of sleeping gas!

Maybe this is another one of Jer's harebrained tests!

Just like the last time we were on board.

I seriously doubt it!

Pirates may be hot, but that's just not!

SAM: We have to get out of here.

But first I better put in a quick call to Jer.

Hello?

Jer, it's Sam!

And there's something totally weird going on.

Sorry, girls.

But it looks like I'll have to cancel all further activities

for the day.

Oh.

My head is splitting!

Ooh.

Sheesh.

Rude much?

The name's Salty Schooner, and this is

my trusty parrot, Calico Jack.

We'll be commandeering this ship.

Commandeering this ship.

Commandeering this ship.

Uh, hello?

Ever heard of a barber?

Or modern clothes?

Who needs modern clothes when you come from a long line

of proud seafaring pirates?

With the help of my two henchmen, Tuna and Bait,

I will bring honor back to this noble profession

starting with the WOOHPtanic.

After spotting her with my trusty spyglass,

I have decided to make her my own!

Please.

Since when is stealing a noble profession?

This boat belongs to WOOHP.

And while I personally admire your bold fashion choices,

good luck trying to take the WOOHPtanic.

Because you'll have to get through us first.

Uh, uh, why, aren't you the prettiest

pirate lassie I've ever seen.

With you as my pirate queen, together

we'll rule the high seas!

As if!

Sorry, but this is one pirate lassie who isn't going

anywhere, especially with you!

Yeah.

Clover's with us.

Not anymore!

Now she's all mine.

Oh!

Paws off!

Get down to the bridge and seize control of the ship,

then put these prisoners in the engine room.

Huh?

Come on, Sammy.

We've got to help Clover.

We will, after we nab Jerry's gadgets.

At least then we'll stand a fighting chance.

SALTY SCHOONER:

It's like finding treasure you didn't know existed.

Now, remember.

Don't touch the ID tablet or you'll trigger--

JERRY : Welcome to the WOOHP

Gadget Show, the dawn of a new era in gadget creation--

Huh?

JERRY : --the incomparable Jerry.

Oh, Jer's presentation.

Shiver me timbers!

Time to teach these landlubbers a lesson.

You do that.

In the meantime, I'm going to bust a pirate lassie move.

Hurry, Alex.

Turn it off!

I'm trying.

I'm trying!

Whoa!

JERRY : The Ooey Gooey Blaster

Caps pack quite a sticky punch.

Whoa!

Girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

Well, well, well.

Trying to get your hands on some weapons, girlies?

Doesn't matter.

We'll defeat you either way!

Yeah!

Besides, they aren't weapons.

They're super advanced spy gadgets,

and you'll never figure out how to use them!

That's where you've miscalculated, lassie.

In fact, I've changed my mind.

Instead of merely taking over the ship,

I'm going to use the EROS ray to super-heat the sun!

The icecaps will melt and flood the world,

turning it into this pirate's waterworld paradise.

I liked his old plan much better!

Look, boss.

I done good!

This is crazy!

We've got to get out of here before Salty floods the planet!

How, Sammy?

Not only are we literally stuck here,

we're totally and hopelessly gadget-less!

Not sure yet.

But we better think of something quick!

Soon everyone will know the legend of Salty

and his pretty pirate lassie Clover.

Together, you and I will plunder the world for new treasures

and rule the seven seas.

Rule the seven seas.

Rule the seven seas.

Double as if!

While my current predicament may scream otherwise,

I'm a totally 21st century lassie.

Maybe this will help sway you to the pirate lifestyle.

Huh?

So not what I meant.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a fiendish ice

cap melting plot to enact.

Tuna!

Bite!

What are you doing?

Don't you know that sweat totally ruins couture?

Ruins couture.

Ruins couture!

Yes!

Is it getting hot in here, or what?

Phoo-ey.

Oh no!

The EROS ray!

Salty must be using it to superheat the earth!

OK, if anyone has a multifunction charm bracelet,

lipstick laser, or anything else we could use to get

out of here, raise your hand!

See, like this!

Alex, your arm!

Oh, I was just demonstrating, Sammy.

You know I don't have any gadgets.

My arm!

It's free!

Don't worry!

We'll be back to free you guys later.

JERRY: Oh.

Jerry!

Oh, please pass the tea, Mother dear.

Oh.

Figgy scones.

My favorite.

Oh, I guess we're officially on our own.

Way OK.

Well, get better, Jer.

Don't forget to hydrate!

Whoa!

Huh?

It's like being on the set of a pirate movie.

Or on a cool theme park ride!

We need to stop the EROS ray and rescue Clover.

Looks like the coast is clear.

Too bad the same can't be said for the planet.

Oh no!

It's even worse than I thought.

The earth's cities are about to be flooded as we speak.

If only there was something we could do from in here!

Maybe there is.

I might be able to steer the ship away from the sun,

then the EROS ray would fire harmlessly into space.

Great thinking, Sammy!

TUNA: It would be.

If we didn't get here first!

Cool!

I mean, it would be cool if we weren't

in such humongo trouble.

Hm.

Time to walk the plank!

Walk the plank.

Walk the plank.

Hey, watch it!

That's pointy.

SALTY SCHOONER:

Uh oh.

You have to stop this, Salty!

Sam's only like the worst swimmer known to mankind

and Alex is way afraid of heights!

Sorry, Clover.

No one double-crosses Salty Schooner.

Get going!

Pst.

Alex.

Maybe this is one of those times for the hands free function

on our comp powders.

Comp powder.

Activate.

Link to WOOHPtanic mainframe.

Perfect.

Turn hard to port now.

Ah, that's better.

Even the ocean is cooling down.

You two are supposed to be in control of this ship!

Ah.

Who's steering her off course?

No idea, boss.

Yes!

Hey, Tuna.

Can I borrow you a sec?

Me?

Of course you, cutie.

Come here!

I need to tell you something important.

Gotcha!

It's been a real slice.

Hi-ya!

Stop her!

You're a sight for sore eyes, Clover.

I get it. You really hate my clothes.

I'll change, OK?

But first let's show this bossy boots we mean business!

Bait, you get the redhead.

Tuna, take out the brunette!

The pirate lassie's all mine.

Sure baited you into that one, huh?

Be quiet, stupid bird!

Huh?

They sure don't make henchmen like they used to.

You sure I can't convince you to set sail with me?

You just don't take no for an answer, do you?

There is no "no" in pirate!

It was all fun and games until you messed with the coif!

Oh, you really are stuck on me!

And here I thought you were a pirate!

This is the best you got?

I must have forgotten to tell you.

I'm not left handed.

Wow.

You're really good at this.

I know.

SALTY SCHOONER:

CLOVER: There's something I forgot to tell you.

I'm a super spy.

SALTY SCHOONER: You haven't won yet, lassie!

Stee-rike!

Yeah!

There!

That ought to hold him until we reach port and Jerry

feels like his old self.

Great job, Clover!

Thanks.

Salty put up a good fight.

No, I mean with the bowling!

The Mali U bowling team could really use a ringer like you!

Are you kidding?

And ruin my mani?

Another job well done, spies.

What's going to happen to Salty

and his not so merry henchmen?

Suffice it to say they won't be

seeing water any time soon from inside the WOOHP

containment facility.

I'm just sorry I missed the excitement.

It sounded like a swashbuckling good time.

Speaking of hot messes, where's Clover?

CLOVER: Right behind you!

Let me guess.

Boat chic is all the rage for spring?

Fashion moves at the speed of light, Sammy.

Spring is so over!

Boat chic is all the rage for fall.

Yeah!

Hm?

I know, right?

You can't stop staring because we look amazing!

Pirate chic is hot, hot, hot.

You look fab, Mandy.

You too, Trent.

Hm?

Whatevs.

I don't get it, Clover.

How come you're not upset that Mandy

and Trent stole your look?

Because I had no idea how ridiculous

I looked until right now.

They can have pirate chic.