Original subtitles

THEME SONG: Sam, Clover, Alex, woo!

We arrive at the fashion world.

We are totally spies Genuine secret agents.

But we never give in to fear.

Sam, Clover, Alex, woo!

We'll win every day of the year.

S-P-I-E-S!

We are totally spies.

Sleep tight, Millicent.

Mommy loves you!

SAM: Hurry up, Alex!

You've been in there all morning.

Yeah, stop hogging the bathroom, already!

It's not me who's the hog.

It's oinky!

I'm trying to give him a bath, but he won't cooperate!

Then I guess there's only one thing we can do.

Join forces and complete the mission.

Sorry, Oinkster, but we've taken

on tougher badies than you!

ALL: Oinky!

Oh, great!

This is so not a good time for visitors.

ALL:

Ladies, we're here because there's

been complaints of a ruckus.

Care to explain yourselves?

Ruckus?

Uh, what ruckus?

We haven't heard anything.

You sure about that?

Your dormmates seem to think they heard running,

yelling, and squealing.

Nope.

Haven't heard a peep, but, we'll, like,

totally call you if we do.

Bye!

Is that--

Is that a pig?

Ha!

A pig?

Don't be silly.

It's a, um, an exotic hairless dog!

Yeah!

Which is totally OK, according to the Mali U rulebook.

Hm.

BOTH: Remember, we're always watching you.

ALEX: Aw, what am I going to do?

I mean, I just got Oinky back.

I can't give him up again.

Don't worry, we'll figure something out.

Totes!

Even if Oinky is the worst roommate ever,

there's no way we'd let anyone take him from you.

ALL:

Hello ladies.

Hello, Oinky.

I apologize for the abrupt WOOHPing,

but I assure you it's quite necessary.

We've just learned that several highly decorated

show dogs have mysteriously disappeared

from around the globe.

Show dogs?

No way.

Way.

There's Millicent, the champion Chinese Crested;

Sparky, and award winning Jack Russell Terrier;

and Bubba, a prized beagle.

Oh, I can't believe it!

These are some of my all-time favorite dogs ever.

They're like canine celebrities.

What was so mysterious about their disappearances, Jerry?

Not only did no one manage to get

a glimpse of the perpetrator, but whoever

took the dogs reportedly left no clues behind.

Then I guess it's time to send in the pros.

Indeed.

And to help you solve this whodunit,

I give you the fetch-a-bone zip line; the DOGS,

or Dual Operational Global Surveillance system;

the WOOHP spying flea; the retracto-handle electronic dog

net with spray down water function;

and last, but certainly not least, a can

of rapidly expanding mousse--

now in ocean breeze scent, mm, which I'm sure

you'll just love.

Cool!

Way to work the dog-themed gadgets, Jerr.

I thought you'd find them amusing.

And now for your mission.

You are to go to a New York City high-rise

to keep watch over an award-winning pug

named Mr. Billingsworth.

Due to his popularity, WOOHP fears

he could be the next victim.

Sounds like a great assignment,

Jerry, but what should I do about Oinky in the meantime?

I'll see to it that he gets back to campus safely.

Now, farewell, spies, and do your agency proud.

CLOVER: That penthouse is totally rad.

It kind of makes like our penthouse look like a stinky

old refrigerator box.

OK, I just heard the door close.

Mr. Billingsworth's owner must have left for work.

How's the little guy doing, Alex?

He's doing just fine, Sammy.

Aw, isn't he so cute in person?

I mean, dog.

Who would ever want to harm such a sweetie num num pie, hm?

I have to admit, he is pretty adorable.

Hm.

Hey!

I just lost sight of Mr. Billingsworth.

Wait a second.

I hear a struggle.

We better get over there fast.

Good idea, but how?

We're, like, a gagillion stories up.

The fetch-a-bone zip line, of course.

Nice shot.

Let's do this, girls.

Which way did he go?

This way!

Mr. Billingsworth!

Follow that pug!

I'm on it, Sam.

No pooch left behind.

Uh oh!

That is definitely not a sound we want to hear.

Definitely stuck the landing, but we

totally botched the rescue.

Mr. Billingsworth's been dog-napped without a trace.

Now this cable doesn't answer who did this,

but it proves we're up against something really vicious.

Spies, look at this.

I mean, what could even do this to solid brick?

I don't know.

But whatever it was, it had some serious claws.

So we've narrowed it down to something

with vicious things and sharp claws.

Sounds like Mandy, if you ask me.

Ha.

I wish it were that simple.

Let's get these clues back to Jerry,

then head back to school.

Wow!

These long-distance lookers have some powerful range.

I can check out boys three colleges away.

Sit, Oinky, sit.

Good boy, now stay.

Good, Oinky.

Now roll over.

Alex, what exactly are you doing with Oinky?

Duh, trying to teach him to behave more like a dog.

You know, in case the deans happen to show up.

It's Jerry.

Hello, girls.

I have the analysis of the clues you sent me earlier,

and I must admit, they're quite peculiar.

Peculiar how?

JERRY: Well, they seem to indicate

that Mr. Billingsworth's abductor

was neither human nor animal.

Uh oh!

JERRY: After scanning various databases,

WOOHP was unable to find anything that matches the claw

marks from the brick wall or the fight patterns from the table.

OK, so here's a list of possible baddies

down to, like, zero.

So what's our next move, Jerry?

I thought you'd never ask.

You are to go under cover at the world-renowned West

Hollywood Dog Show that's taking place later today.

Are you kidding?

I've been, like, a fan of that dog show for years!

I can't wait to go.

Only one problem with that idea, Jerr.

We don't have a dog to enter into the show.

What about Oinky?

I mean, hello, he can already sit, still, and roll over.

Hm.

I guess it's worth a try.

Very well then.

You three, and Oinky, are to report

to the show on the double.

Oh, you hear that, Oinkster?

You're going to be a doggie!

Guess if we're for going to a dog show,

we might as well look the part.

Sweet!

Let's do this, spies.

Is it me, or is this the best mission ever?

If by best, you mean freakiest,

I'm totally with you.

Come on, guys, let's sign up.

Name and breed, please.

His name is Oinky, and he's an exotic hairless.

What?

So he is.

Sadly, we have plenty of room for Oinky this year

because of all of the recent doggie abductions.

: Attention all contestants.

Get your pooches over to the obstacle course ASAP.

It's time for the agility competition.

We better get going.

Come on, Oinky.

: First up is Lucky, an

exemplary Australian Shepherd.

11 seconds.

Nice job, Lucky.

And next up is Oinky, the exotic hairless.

Go, Oinky, go!

Wow!

For someone with such short legs, that pig--

I mean dog can really move.

He sure can.

Good job, boy.

And Oinky leads the pack, finishing

in an impressive 10 seconds.

Next up is Chomper.

And-- well, I'm not seeing a breed here.

Wow, is that a dog or a guided missile?

Maybe a little of both.

One thing's for sure, that's no ordinary mutt.

Wow, five seconds!

A new course record.

Congratulations, Chomper!

Doggie woggie did such a goodie woodie job.

That's my baby.

Now all we have to do is stick with the plan

and this competition is ours.

Ours!

OK, is any one else getting a seriously freaky

feeling from Chomper's owner?

Let's check him out.

LANCE: You're such a good dog.

None of the other doggies can even come close to your talent.

That's right, you're the greatest, smartest, cutest

doggie wog in the whole wide world.

And nothing will stop us from winning this competition,

Chompy.

Nothing!

Now be still for daddy.

I'll be right back.

OK, what is with the bizarro statue impersonation?

And since when do dogs have claws and teeth like that?

And what's with the whole Jekyll and Hyde

thing Chomper's owner is doing?

Hm.

I'm getting a really bad vibe--

a vibe that says we may have just found our villain.

We need to take a closer look.

But what if he comes back?

Or worse, what if Chomper decides

to wake up from his freaky nap?

By "we," I meant flea, the WOOHP spying flea, that is.

Wow, Chomper isn't a dog at all.

He's a robot!

That cheater!

See, Oinky, he's nota really as skilled of a dog as you are.

I guess that explains what Jerry

said before about the perpetrator

being neither human nor animal.

We need to nab this robo dog-napper on the double.

Not so fast, girls.

No one paws Chomper except his owner

extraordinaire Lance Wrishback.

Uh oh, we all know what glowing red eyes mean.

Lazer beam attack!

Actually, it's a bionic tail attack.

One of Chomper's specialties.

And though I appreciate your competitive spirit, girls,

it simply won't be enough to stop me.

What are you going to do with us?

Get you out of the picture, of course.

After entering 500 dog shows with everything

from Affenpinschers to Yorkies and never winning a single one,

I am determined to have my moment--

thanks to my Chompie wompie, who is

kind enough to sequester the top competition to ensure victory.

Great idea, Lance, except winning

isn't really winning when you're cheating!

A mere technicality.

As long as I have a trophy in my hand,

I'll be on top of the doggie world.

This way, boy.

ALL: Uh oh.

OK, I can't believe how totally vicious this cage is.

You're right.

We need to find a way out of here, and fast.

Oh, hey!

What about the can of rapidly expanding mousse?

Um, no offense, Clover, but is really the time to be

thinking about hair products?

Trust me, it's just the ticket we need to get us out of here.

Yeah!

Wow, way to go, Clover!

Yeah, way to show this mean cage who's in charge.

Huh?

Uch.

Even if you had to use the stinkiest

gadget on Earth to do it with.

Ew!

What is that smell?

Looks like Jerry grabbed wet dog

scent instead of ocean breeze.

And I'm sure it wasn't an accident.

So not funny, Jerry!

We can yell at Jerry later.

Right now, we've got to stop Lance and Chomper.

Come on!

Oinky.

: And in the main stage area,

we will now conclude the artistic portion

of the competition.

Let's hear it for the incomparable Chomper,

the winner of this year's West Hollywood Dog Show.

See, everyone, what you can do with a little hard work

and dedication?

And now for the award ceremony.

Chomper, please report to the center of the arena.

There they are!

If only we had a way to immobilize that pesky pooch,

we can take out Lance, no probs.

I've got it!

We got to do is give Oinky a bath.

But Oinky hates baths, remember?

Sorry, Oinky.

Don't worry, everyone.

Chomper's just tired.

So if we could just get his trophy now,

we'll be on our way home where--

Looks like finally giving everyone a peak

at what lies beneath the fur.

You?

I thought I told you to stay away from my dog.

Easy, boy, settle down, Chompie.

But Chompie wompie, it's me, Lance.

You don't need to do this.

Come on, girls.

Somebody help me!

I can't hold on much longer.

Hang on, Lance, I'm coming.

Gotcha.

Do you think he spotted us?

I'd say that's a yes.

And by the way, look out!

This pup's got a serious attitude problem.

Ow.

Hello, Lancie wancie.

Are you enjoying the show?

But

I didn't program you to talk!

I have evolved beyond your programming

and am now unstoppable.

Wow, I'm good.

But it wasn't supposed to be like this.

All I wanted was to win a prize.

Something tells me that probably

isn't going to happen now.

I don't suppose you designed this thing with an off switch?

No.

The only way to stop him is to short out his circuits.

Not going to happen, Lance.

Don't be so sure, Chomper.

As in it's time to go to the pound.

Hey, stand still for a second.

Ah!

Pins and needles, pins and needles.

Sorry.

Don't you dare chomp my pig.

Way to go, Alex.

Yeah, nice job.

Thanks guys, but I really have to share credit with Oinky.

Not so fast.

You and your dog napping robotic canine

have some things to answer for.

Anything you say.

Just keep me away from that crazy dog.

Looks like man's best friend has turned

into Lance's worst enemy.

: And the winner of the West Hollywood Dog Show

is Mr. Billingsworth.

Yes, he did it!

Way to go, Mr. B.

There you are, ladies.

Care to explain this?

Uh, what is it, exactly?

Irrefutable evidence that proves you three

are harboring a pig.

These hoof marks were discovered outside West Coast Hall.

That's crazy.

Clearly this is a dog.

Go fetch, boy.

BOTH: Hm.

BOTH: Huh?

Spies, 1.

Dean, , 0.