Original subtitles

Sam, Clover, Alex, woo!

We love the fashion world.

We are totally spies.

Genuine secret agents, 'cause we never give in to fear.

Sam, Clover, Alex, woo!

every day of the year.

S-P-I-E-S. We are totally spies.

Whoa!

You're wasting what is left of your strength.

The heart belongs to me!

You vain, misguided fool.

You've always been heartless and you'll always be heartless.

Huh?

It's--

Magnificent.

Uh oh!

Whoa, that robozilla thingy is showing

a serious lack of respect for one of the world's treasures

You're so right, Clover.

The Washington monument is a treasure.

Uh, I meant me.

So not the time for a photo op, Sammy.

Just a few quick head shots of me,

before I give that robot some real head shots.

No, Clover, it's the crim cam catcher Jerry gave us.

It snaps up and contains criminals in a flash.

It's still going through testing so, here goes nothing.

I still can't believe Jerry's crim cam catcher worked.

I can't believe I'm still standing.

Time to catch some major Z's.

Hey!

Or try this, we can catch a movie.

The Dusk of Dawn is playing a late show.

That wizard fantasy love story?

Alex, you've seen that cheesy movie like 10 times.

Nuh uh, I've seen it like 12 times.

The first six times I saw it, I was so on team Derlock,

but the last six times, I was totally team Cheston.

Lucky 13's gonna decide what team I'm on for good.

Sorry, Alex.

I'm on team too tired to move.

The only way we're going is if you carry us there.

You got it!

Sammy, Clover!

If you're not here in two seconds

I'm sitting without you.

One--

Sorry, Alex.

Just getting some popcorn.

I was lagging behind on purpose.

Ew, that seat looks like someone's been living in it.

I am that someone.

I've sat there so many times the headrest and armrest

have perfectly molded to my body.

My wizardly kingdom shall not be

complete without the eternal flaming heart, for which

I've searched my entire life.

Wishful thinking, Cheston.

When I find it, I will become the eternal ruler

of the universe.

In your dreams, Derlock.

You'll be in my dreams.

I've decided, I'm officially on team Cheston.

Hot enough for you?

Yes, you are.

Cheston, no!

Clover, wake up!

The usher's here and he looks kind of mad.

And kinda cute.

Whatever.

Isn't he dreamy?

He's so poised and so above authority.

He's a total tough hottie.

Hottie alert?

Where?

There!

How do I get that bad boy to ask out a good girl like me?

By playing hard to get, and if we leave right now

you'll be totally impossible to get.

We're outie!

Clover, wait, no!

He's that way, Clover!

Did you see the way he littered?

He really is a bad boy.

You sure it's not just bad aim?

Finally, it's time to go to--

Sorry to disturb your slumber, but there's

something even more disturbing going on in Hollywood.

Stores are being looted as we speak

and you must find those responsible.

Now, if you'll peer inside your jet pack backpacks,

you'll find a hands off handbag that when

unzipped, becomes a super strong fireproof protective shield.

The bag also contains an expandable mini makeup mirror,

but you'll also find a mini carbon

dating machine able to detect the precise age of even

the most ancient of artifacts.

Huh?

Aw, I think it's broken.

You're an ancient artifact and it's

so not telling me your age.

Hm.

Whoa, messy much?

Looks like a scene from a disaster movie.

Where there's fire, there's smoke.

Time to find the source.

Our hands off hand bag should come in handy.

That was my way close.

Huh?

Over there!

That was way closer!

Not

That's not a jacket, that's a really old school cloak

and I think I've seen someone wear it before.

Maybe it's a clue.

Help, someone's stolen my heart shaped pendant!

A heart shaped pendant?

That's all they stole?

Knowing baddies the way I do, that makes like zero sense.

I know.

All this destruction for one tacky pendant?

This thief is ruthless and tasteless.

Well let's get out of this smoke and back to our dorms

to analyze this cloak.

And to finally get some sleep.

Hm.

A ghost!

Ahem.

Oh, it;s just Jerry.

Honest mistake.

Just wondering what you discovered

last night before dozing off.

Not much, Jer.

Except this ratty old cloak.

We can use the mini dating machine to find

out exactly how old it is.

This cloak was made in the 13th century in 1246 in March

on a Tuesday at 4:37 p.m.

I'm impressed

Not as impressive as the usher's

gonna be when he sees me.

How do I look?

Well, I know you're trying to look all bad,

but you just look kind of bad

Just the look I was going for--

a bad girl for a bad boy.

Oh, I forgot to do my homework!

I better get on it.

Uh, Sam.

You may look the punky part, but you're not acting it.

OK, then I won't do my homework in black ink

like I'm supposed to.

I'm gonna be a rebel and use green.

Sammy, if you're trying to act bad, then mission accomplished.

That was some of the worst acting I've

seen since The Dusk of Dawn.

That's it!

That's where I saw that cloak before.

Cheston was wearing one just like it in the movie, see?

So then do you think there's a wizard on the loose,

making movie cloaks appear in real life?

If there is, you may wish to use the crim cam to capture it.

Great idea, except I don't have it.

I must have dropped it at the movie theater

Oh dear.

Are you sure?

Not at all, but at least I can see the movie again.

Yay!

And I can see my usher bad boy again.

Yay!

And I can take a nap again.

Yawn.

OK, let's split up.

You guys look for the crim cam, I'll go talk

to my soon-to-be new boyfriend.

Found the camera!

Wow, someone or something seriously

ripped the screen to shreds.

Oh no, now I won't be able to see the movie again.

And I won't be able to see my usher.

D

I meant everyone's usher.

So, c

Get it, 'cause, you know, you work

here so you must be here often.

Yeah, whatever.

Man, he is way cool.

And kind of cold.

I did my best flirting and he didn't flirt back.

Can you believe that?

That was your best flirting?

You might want to work on that.

I'll give you some pointers later.

Guys, I have a hunch that our buggy, on the fritz crim cam

may have pulled Cheston and Derlock from the screen.

There's muddy footprints coming from there,

the screen is ripped to shreds, we found a cloak

from the 13th century, the same century the movie takes place.

It's all so clear.

I think you're getting way ahead of yourself, Alex.

Yeah, the only thing that's clear

is that you've seen this movie way too many times.

And it's a good thing I have.

That missing heart pendant sounds like the one

that Cheston and Derlock were looking for.

Remember?

The eternal heart of Grentoid?

Uh, must have slept through that part.

Well, you better wake up.

We've got trouble and it's close by.

Let's go!

I was just gonna say goodbye!

Ugh!

In what strange realm have I landed?

Huh?

Perhaps this magical horseless chariot will

carry me to the eternal heart

Oh!

This chariot is possessed by spirits!

Very angry spirits.

Hey buddy, get away from my car.

Whoa!

That's right, Cheston, run away like the coward that you are!

By the goblin's breath!

A fair maiden carrying a canine in a satchel!

What kind of place is this?

I must protect myself with eternal flaming

heart of Grentoid.

Huh?

Why is the heart not flaming?

What is wrong?

Ha!

Apparently what you found was a fake.

If it weren't, then you would be impervious to the pain

you are about to receive.

Hey, it's Derlock and Cheston!

Live and in person!

See, I was right!

This fake pendant was planted by Cheston.

How dare you accuse someone as sweet and soulful

and sensitive with such sweet and soulful and sensitive hair

as Cheston!

Now let me at 'em!

Where did he go?

To find the real eternal heart.

Now I must find him before he does.

I'll come with you!

Your bravery is almost as impressive as your beauty.

Allow me to introduce myself, I'm--

I know exactly who you are.

You were born on July 28 1222, your favorite philosopher

is Albertus Magnus, your favorite food is mutton.

You like long walks and short jousts

and your mortal enemy Derlock just disappeared into thin air!

Pretty scary, huh?

She's seen your movie 13 times.

I'm sure she'll be the first one in line to buy the DVD.

What's a movie?

And DVD?

Oh yeah, we should probably catch

you up with what's new in the world for the last 800 years.

I'll send you a text with some info.

What's your cell?

What language are you speaking?

The language of love.

Stop that, Clover!

You're going to freak Cheston out!

I'll be fine.

It's Derek we should be concerned with.

To find the eternal heart of Grentoid,

Derlock will turn this world into ruins.

How will we ever find Derlock in this fanciful kingdom?

Perhaps those maps can lead us to him.

Oh no, those are just maps to the stars.

Maps to the stars?

So you can travel beyond the sky?

No, not those kinds of stars.

Movie stars, like you, see?

Huh?

You're wasting what is left of your strength.

The heart belong to me!

You vain misguided fool!

Is that me?

Yeah, but you're way cuter in real life.

That's not really you.

That's just from your movie and Derlock's not

really there on that screen.

Huh?

It's happening already.

We must find Derlock now.

Ah, then you can let go of me.

No thanks, I'm good.

Behold.

The eternal flaming heart of Grentoid!

I would rather sacrifice the heart

than let you use it for evil!

Luckily for you, it would seem that this is another fake,

but before I resume my quest, I will destroy you!

Vortex .

Cheston!

Save me!

Oh, and my friends too.

Ah!

Cheston, no!

My poor, sweet Cheston!

Cheston!

Alas, we're from such different worlds.

Perhaps your behavior can be explained

by whatever spell you're under.

I am under a spell, a love spell,

and we may not be from the same world,

but you totally rock mine.

Ouch!

Cheesiest line ever.

I know!

I should totally use it on my ush crush bad boy punk hunk!

- You-- you know me so well.

I'll explain everything, just free us!

Cheston!

May you be free to live and to love.

Whoa!

Whoa!

Thanks!

Whoa!

You will get the girl back when

I find the true eternal flaming heart of Grentoid.

Alex!

We We must save her!

You think?

And I think I have a plan to get rid of Derlock.

Huh?

Hm.

Alex, you know how you knew Cheston's strengths?

Well do you also know Derlock's weaknesses?

Wait, I remember!

His weakness is his own vanity!

He loves to gaze at his own beauty.

We just need to get a mirror to distract him

and we can take him out.

You're-- you're a witch!

Who is that handsome devil?

You Yo, Chester!

Alex!

Whoa!

Thanks for the lift, Sammy.

Ha ha!

Ooof!

Alex!

Don't look at me.

I'm hideous!

No argument here!

Ah!

Whoa!

I don't know what kind of wizardry

you used to capture Derlock, but you've also captured my heart.

Ah, that's very sweet, Cheston. but let's face it,

we are from two different worlds.

Mine's real, yours not so much.

Come on, Alex, the movie is about to start.

Sorry, I just can't believe Cheston

gave me the shirt off his back.

My shirt has been stolen by the same lovely creature

who stole my heart.

Oh wow, the movie just gets better each time I see it.

Just wake me when it's over.

Looking cool.

Thanks!

I meant me, but you look pretty good, too.

Maybe we can go out some time?

I'll give you a ride on my motor--

mouse!

- Oh.

Hm?

Wow, guess you're not such a bad boy after.

Whoa!