Original subtitles

[upbeat music]

[calm music]

To say the fall collection was a disaster is like calling

the Titanic a tiny mishap.

[dark music]

Huh?

[sinister laugh]

What are you doing here, has-been?

Just though I'd help you wrap up your latest review,

Beatrice.

[shouts]

No!

[sinister laugh]

[screaming]

[relaxing parisian music]

So, which article do you want to read first?

Fabric is Totally Out, Color is so Last Season, or Gotcha,

There is No New Black?

Whoa, Clover, negative mag, much?

Yeah, don't that have any positive things

to say in "Fashion Slam"?

Of course, they do.

See, here's an optimistic ad for Paris Shoe Week.

"Come one, come all, to the hottest,

hippest, happenist event on the planet, Eiffel Tower tomorrow."

"Be there or be shunned."

"That is, if you can get past the velvet rope, loser."

What can I say?

The Euro fashion scene is way harsh.

[screaming]

[whistling]

Is it me, or does that guy cleaning the fountain

look kind of familiar?

[gasps]

That's because it's Guillaume.

Gui-who?

Guillaume, as in our former hunky, French pool boy.

Uh?

Huh?

Wow, he's gorgeous.

[speaking french]

And apparently, he's French.

Which makes him twice as gorgeous.

I bet my parents sent him as a gift.

They're in France right now.

Hi, [french] Alex.

I save-oed your life-o.

Clover.

[french] to meet you, [french] Guillaume.

Give it up, girls.

Your French is tre-lame.

Oh, that Guillaume.

Come on, let's go over and say hi.

What's the point?

Or have you also forgotten that Guillaume

isn't interested in girls, just his work.

Puh-lease, That was a long time ago.

I'm sure he'd be totally amped to see us.

Forget it, Sam.

My pool boy days are history. You're on your own.

Fine, suit yourself.

[rhythmic drum music]

Huh?

Bonjour, Guillaume.

It's moi, Sam.

You know, from le Beverly Hills?

Samantha.

[lighthearted music]

[gasping]

Fine, and you?

What's he saying?

I don't know, but it sounds hecka complimentary.

Aw, sure.

I mean, oui.

[french]

Aw!

I can't believe it, Sammy.

Guillaume totally digs you.

Really?

How can you tell?

Hello, he kissed your hand and gave you his digits.

Looks like he's into girls after all.

Huh?

ALL: Hey

[suspenseful music]

[shouting]

What is Jerry's problem?

We're 10 feet from his office!

Totally.

Why couldn't he just give us a phone call instead of whooping?

[screaming]

ALL: What?

(SINGING) After noo-you-you ooh-ooh-oon, ladies.

So what's up, Jer?

I have an important mission for you,

to check out an abandoned yacht on the French Riviera.

What she meant was, what's up with the goofy outfit

and freaky singing?

Oh, that.

I'm heading to Switzerland for a little Y and R.

Y and R?

Yodeling and relaxation, which is why you're on yacht duty

and I'm not.

I don't get it.

What important about a deserted boat?

Communication

Was lost with the vessel a few hours

ago, which could mean trouble.

(SINGING) Cheer-io-io-whoo.

I guess we're have to get our own gadgets this time.

[rhythmic music]

Double density denture paste?

Gross!

Is this a gadget or part of Jer's private stash?

Beats me, but I'm sure we can find use for it.

Now add in the Vision Expander Eye Patch,

some earring communicators, and that Just

Another Inch Expansion Shoe Horn gadget and we're

officially in business.

In that case.

[screaming]

[rhythmic music]

There it is, the abandoned boat.

Whoa, talk about awesome.

Why would the owner ever want to leave?

Totally!

I mean, what could be more posh than hanging on a luxury

liner in the So-Fran.

That's exactly what we're gonna find out.

Come on, girls.

Well, other than a whole lot of lavish opulence,

I don't see anything too unusual.

Me either.

How about you, Clover?

[curious music]

[gasps]

Actually, I just found a major clue.

This boat belongs to Beatrice Bash, editor of "Fashion Slam."

How do you know?

Who else could have written this?

"To say the fall collection was a disaster,

is like calling the Titanic a tiny mishap."

[screaming]

Oopsie.

Hang on, girls.

[screaming]

We've gotta do something, Sammy.

Or it's Titanic time for us.

No worries.

I've got an idea to bring this pleasure

cruise to a screeching halt.

[screaming]

Wow, that stuff sure is powerful.

You OK, girls?

[groaning] OK as we can be, considering we were

almost churned into spy butter.

So, what's our next move gonna be?

You know, after we dry off?

I say we head to the Fashion Slam offices

and see if we can find out who kidnapped Beatrice.

How do you know she was kidnapped?

With all her scathing reviews, she's

bound to have a few enemies.

[mysterious music]

According to the X-Powder, Fashion Slam

should be right around here.

That's not all that's around here.

Girls, this is Guillaume's neighborhood.

Samantha?

[rhythmic music]

Oh, bonjour, Guillaume.

What did he just say?

I think it's said something about a proposition.

Sammy, he must have asked you out on a date just now.

In that case, I'd love to, Guillaume.

Wow, who knew I could have such a crush on someone

I can barely understand.

Sorry to rain on your love parade,

but it looks like we've got a mission to get back to.

[dramatic music]

Hold up, there's no way I'm going

in there dressed like this. - Why not?

And risk getting the fashion slamming of a lifetime?

No, thank you.

Hey!

Forget about what we look like, Clover.

We've got to worry about getting inside without being seen.

[clover screams]

ALL: Hey!

[snickering]

Well, I guess we can always go in the way that guy did.

Whoa!

Who or what was that?

Stop your presses, put your reviews in the air.

I don't know, but it sounds like someone's in big time trouble.

Come on.

Let's go.

Hold it right there, mister!

Sorry, fashion waits for no one.

[laughing]

OK, so didn't see that one coming.

Tell me about it.

I mean, who know platform heels were even in this season?

Don't worry, spies.

Even if he is super sized, we can still catch him.

All right, loser.

This is the end of the line.

Now drop the critic and surrender.

I don't think so.

Oh.

[screaming]

[screaming]

OK, now that's just rude.

Not to mention, freaky.

What's up with that dude?

And more importantly, why has he abducted one,

if not two fashion critics?

[beeping]

I'm afraid it's worse than that.

The Euro Mainframe says several more of Fashion Slam critics

have been abducted. - We better tell, Jer.

(YODELING) Hello de odi oh e whoo.

Girls, I'm afraid I have some very troubling news.

That there's been a rash of fashion critic abductions

in Paris?

Yeah, we know.

(YODELING) Well e el e el e elle,

seems like you girls are on top of the situation.

That makes one of us.

Right, in that case, I'll get back to my

[ram bleating]

[shouting]

OK, it's official, our boss is the biggest freak, ever.

Hey guys, check this out.

Looks like an eyelet from a shoe.

Obviously, that baddie had something

funky going on with his kicks.

Otherwise, how could he have done all those amazing feats?

No pun intended.

Hey, there's something etched on it,

but it's too small to see with the naked eye.

No, prob.

At least, not for the Vision Expander Eye Patch.

It looks like it says YMB.

What does YMB mean?

Hello!

Yves Mon Block is only like the biggest designer

of trendy footwear, ever!

I've been wearing his shoes since I was born.

You don't think he has anything to do with this, do you?

Only one way to find out.

Wow!

The sewers in Paris sure are classy.

They even have their own street signs.

Hmm.

According to the global positioning satellite,

we're right under Yve's studio.

Good, let's find him and resolve

the fact that he has nothing to do with these abductions.

Here's a drainpipe.

Come on.

Hey Score!

I mean, look at this place.

It's like a shrine to all Yves greatest designs.

Oh, how cute!

It's my old toddler shoes.

[french]

[laughing]

And I wore these [french] to our beach for a role.

And I wore these [french] to my last teeth cleaning.

Wow, he makes shoes to wear to the dentist?

That's like really specific.

Um, sorry to cut the trip down memory lane short,

but could you guys tone it down a sec?

[faint screaming]

It's coming from over there.

[dramatic music]

[gasping]

Still think Yves has nothing to do with this?

I know it looks suspicious but I'm sure there's

a logical explanation.

You bet there is.

[screaming]

[laughing]

Whatever it is you're up to Yve, it's over right now.

Yeah!

Right after I get your autograph.

[groaning]

In case you haven't noticed, I'm the world famous designer,

so I'm the one making the rules here, sister.

Why do they always wanna do this the hard way?

Just be careful not to injure his hands.

I don't know what I'd wear if he couldn't

design his next line of shoes.

Hi-ya!

[shouting]

See, you shoulda just given up in the first place.

I like your style, ladies.

But tell me, what do you think of my stylish new creation?

Then Mega MBs.

I'd love to get a pair of those,

right after we take you to the Whoop Prison.

[screaming]

Told you his shoes were pretty awesome.

What's the matter, girls?

No match for my Mega MBs?

[screaming]

Hey.

Looks like the shoe is on the other foot now, huh, girls?

Lean bad guy dialogue much?

Sorry, this feeling stuffs new to me.

You see, I used to be the industry's leading designer.

So what happened?

All of these critics slammed my latest line

of shoes in "Fashion Slam" magazine,

and once you get slammed--

Your career's over with, as in see ya,

and I wouldn't wanna be ya.

Not that I think it's right.

So, now I'm going to end the critics careers

and punish the world for no longer buying my shoes.

This will be a shoe week no one will forget.

Come on, critics.

Why don't you guys just run away?

Easier said than done.

You see, my Mega MB joystick controls

every movement of their shoes.

[laughing]

[laughing]

If only all runway models were so easy to control.

So long, girls.

The catwalk calls.

Ooh, finally a baddie who's not leaving us

beat certain doom.

See, he's not all bad.

[gasping]

Wanna reconsider that statement?

These laces are getting tighter than a Beverly Hills face lift.

If we don't figure out something fast,

these laces are gonna completely deflate us.

Sam, what about the Just Another Inch Expansion shoehorn

gadget?

Good thinking.

If only I could get my hands on it.

Much better.

Maybe for you, but not us.

Oh, sorry.

Well, you heard Yves. The catwalk calls.

[party chatter]

Yves must have already gotten inside.

Which is more than I could say for us.

Woefully under-dressed for this styling event.

Spin for us girls.

Spy chic is so in.

Beautiful, beautiful.

[cheering]

These are designer classics created by, moi.

No sign of Yves and his fashion army in here either.

Where could they be?

Fan out and keep your eyes open.

[laughing]

Time to do the walk of shame, my friends.

I wonder what the critics will say about you.

Strut your stuff, my friends.

I'll be watching from my VIP seat.

[shouting]

What's going on?

[speaking french]

Sam, Clover, I think I found them.

Oh, they're a catwalk disaster.

I feel their pain.

[dark music]

[crowd booing]

[screaming]

[laughing] Now every one will pay for forsaking my fashion.

[laughing]

[grunting]

[screaming]

Now the critics are going after the public too.

For being new at this bad guy thing,

Yves has it down pretty good.

Come on.

We gotta do something fast!

[screaming]

[dramatic music]

Whoa, these heels are way beyond dangerous.

Now I know what it's like to be chased by a crazy kangaroo.

Stick around, maybe you can review my spa

you need for your magazine later.

I need to figure out how to cool

this cowboys heels before he turns me into Swiss cheese.

Way to put that one on ice, Sammy.

Now let's get back to saving Paris while there's

still something left to save.

Talk about being mobbed by the press.

We're gonna have to shut 'em down at the source, Yves.

Yeah!

But where is he? - No prob.

[dark music]

He's at the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Alex, you're gonna have to go after him while Clover

and I hold the critics at bay.

It's our only chance to save the city.

OK but how do I get up there?

That's like nose bleed high.

Duh.

Clover this isn't exactly what I call a climbing gadget.

Duh.

It is if you use it right.

Great idea.

As long as I destroyed their evil receptor

before putting them on.

[upbeat music]

Hey, these shoes do rule.

[screaming]

Back off!

Not so fast, Missy.

That's what you think.

Hey, watch it down there.

I bruise easily.

Back off, Tex.

Yeah!

We don't take kindly to you blasting spurs at our friend.

Thanks, guys.

Don't you know it's against the law

to play on this monument?

Whatever.

I've had about enough of you, shoe boy.

[shouting]

ALL: All right!

No!

My plan is ruined.

Just like you're career as a fashion

designer and a criminal.

ALL: Yes!

[upbeat music]

This is so exciting, Sam A date with a real French boy.

Remember to take notes you can tell

me every last detail later.

For sure.

There's Guillaume.

What's with all the pool cleaning equipment?

[laughing]

Samantha.

Hey, Guillaume.

Are you just getting off work or something?

What did he say?

I'm not sure.

What I think Guillaume is trying

to tell you is that you're perfect,

perfect to clean pools and fountains.

ALL: What?

Apparently you have the ideal physique, broad shoulders,

strong back, powerful legs.

So you mean, he doesn't like me?

He just wants me to go into business with him?

Actually, I think he's chosen you to be his apprentice.

Apprentice?

As if! Hi-ya.

[shouting]

[giggling]

[upbeat music]