Original subtitles

[music playing]

[theme music]

[cheerful music]

[ominous music]

In order to take out the enemy,

one must begin to think like the enemy.

Hm.

Looks like my fave mall is The Groove,

my fave eatery is The Veg-Out, and my fave movie of all time

is "10 Things I Love About You But Still Want To Change."

Operation-- Spy Elimination is now in effect.

[evil laughter]

[twinkle]

[funky music]

BOTH: [laughter] [screaming]

We are gathered here today at 21,000 feet

to join Clover and Blaine in matrimony.

Ugh, I can't believe Clover made us wear

these totally ugly dresses!

Guess she didn't want us stealing her spotlight!

Uh, excuse me?

Jer is trying to marry Blainey and me.

Ahem.

Blainey-- I mean, Blaine, do you take Clover to be

your lawfully wedded wife?

Totally!

Aww!

JERRY: And Clover, do you take Blaine to be

your lovely wedded husband?

Heck yes!

Then by the power vested in me,

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Hah.

[sighs]

BOTH: Mmm- Huh?

Huh?

What's going on?

Ah!

[alarm ringing] - Ugh!

Wedding interupted?

And just when Jer was getting to the good part!

Mm.

Oh!

Of course.

I can't stay mad for long with Blainey's

smiling face watching over me!

Time to tell my dreamy dude all about our dreamy wedding.

Rise and shine!

Did my [inaudible] Venus sleep well?

Only because I dreamed about you, the cutest coed ever!

I had a dream about you, too!

We have so much in common.

We even dream alike.

That's because we're made for each other, Poki.

Mwah!

Oh!

Mwah!

I can't wait to see you.

Want to meet for lunch?

Definitely!

I'll be the guy at the picnic table

who only has eyes for you.

Mwah!

Later bestest boyfriend ever.

[screaming] [laughter]

What's the matter, Clover?

Did you see a spider? Break a nail?

Find new split ends?

No, no, and no!

The reason I'm so blissed is because Blaine is the one!

The one what?

The one I like even more than my designer shoe collection.

The one I'm going to marry!

[squeals]

Marry?

But you've only known him for like a week.

And you've only gone on like three dates.

What can I say?

I'm head over heels in love.

[alarm ringing]

Good morning, spys.

Lovely day we're having.

I didn't think my alarm clock could

get any more annoying till now.

Whatever it is, Jer, can't it wait till after breakfast?

Please accept my sincerest apologies.

But unfortunately, it can't.

[screaming]

Some apology!

Jer really has to learn to respect girl time!

ALL: Agh!

Hello, ladies.

You know, Jer, if you hadn't performed

such a lovely skydiving wedding, I'd be seriously mad at you

right now.

Uh, OK.

We've just received a hot tip about a crime

that's about to occur.

Mall Rat, a notorious criminal who's eluded WOOHP for years,

is going to strike Beverly Hills.

[gasps]

No!

Not The Groove!

I'm afraid so.

Mall Rat is planning to borrow his way

into area shopping centers so he can loot their contents.

You mean he'll have, like, first pick of all

the hot new colors and sizes?

And no annoying lines?

[sighs] That's so awesome.

Need I remind you that this is, in fact, illegal behavior.

You'll need the heat sensor motion detector sunglasses

with binocular function, the earring microphone

communicates, the hairpick lockpick,

and the mouse trap lunchbox.

Oh, I had one just like this when I was a kid.

Well, careful!

It has a hair trigger.

[giggles] I never thought I'd see

the day when Jer would sanction a mid day trip to the mall.

This job just got a whole lot better.

Happy shopping.

ALL: Thanks, Jer!

[screaming]

[spy music]

[screaming]

Clover, we're kind of on a mission here.

Can you read mags on your own time?

You don't read Bodacious Bride.

You just flip through the pictures.

OK, then how about this?

You're way too young to get married!

Duh!

That's why it's called dreaming.

A girl can never be too prepared.

[chuckles]

Either that's the Mall Rat or there's

a freaky new fashion trend.

[sniffing]

That guy seriously needs a life.

[grunting]

And a flea bath.

See, that's what happens when you don't plan ahead.

You become a single, weird guy in a rat suit.

[panting] [sniffing] Gah!

OK.

Alex and I will be the bait while you

swoop in and trap the rat.

I just love a foolproof plan.

BLAINE: Target spotted.

Moving in.

[evil laughter] In

[spy music]

Any sign of the rodent yet?

Yes.

The Mall Rat is surfacing near Clogs, Clogs, Clogs.

Be right there, Sammy.

Apparently, the Mall Rats bad taste also extends to footwear.

Oh!

[screaming]

Clover!

Are you OK?

I'm fine!

Except for the part where I'm being attacked!

[rumbling]

Gah!

No!

[panting] Sorry, girls.

But the mall doesn't open until 10:00.

Ah!

[screaming] Ugh.

Time for Plan B.

There's a Plan B?

Hah!

You think some overpriced Kashmir is going to stop me?

Once you've tried the best, you forget the rest.

Hiyah!

[gasp]

And Clover said pashminas were out of style.

Pink really brings out the sewer in your eyes.

Sam!

Alex!

I'm warning you.

Let go of our friend, or I'll chipotle you.

Whoa.

Ugh.

Don't worry, Alex.

No one can handle the extra hot picante.

Weird.

Where'd it go?

I don't know.

Hello?

Any time you want to untie me.

Ow, ow, ow.

Oh no, Clover, are you hurt?

More like sore from sitting on this.

What is it?

It looks like some kind of tracking device.

But there's one person who will know for sure.

Hello, girls.

I trust the mall rat has been successfully detained.

Yeah.

But his mysterious henchman tried to spynap Clover,

then got away.

Well, that's odd.

As far as I know, the mall rat always works alone.

But I'm fine now.

Thanks for asking.

The henchman left behind one clue.

Only problem is we have no idea what it is.

Send it in for analysis, then return to school.

In the meantime, I'll send in some agents

to pick up the mall rat.

The food court opens in 15 minutes.

Wanna grab some brunch?

Sorry.

But I promised to meet Blaine.

At least there's one person who'll be glad I'm all right.

Darn.

There doesn't seem to be any room for Jer at that table.

No biggie.

After the wedding, he can sit in the kitchen with the busboys.

[screaming]

Blainey, over here.

Hey, beautiful.

I brought all your faves--

brie and apple on organic flax, pasta salad,

hold the celery, sparkling apple juice, and chocolate mousse

for dessert.

Thanks.

But how did you know these are all my current must-haves?

What can I say?

I like to make sure my girl's happy.

You've got a stain on your V-ball shirt.

Here.

Let me.

Speaking of V-ball, with playoffs next month,

Coach scheduled a last minute practice, so I can't stay.

Oh. OK.

I should be done by 8:00.

How does a sunset stroll on the beach sound?

It sounds perfect, just like you.

[laughter]

[buzzing]

It's nice to see you girls involved in academic pursuits.

Wish I could say it's nice to see you too.

Yeah.

Haven't you ever heard of a little thing called privacy?

Sorry to disturb you, but the results of the analysis

just came in.

The device you found is a pocket pump for volleyballs.

It's actually quite a handy little thing.

That's great, Jer.

But how does it help us ID the henchman?

Thanks to the little MU insignia,

I've been able to determine the pocket pumps are

standard issue to each member of the Mali-U

beach volleyball team.

(GASPING) Wait.

Did you just Mali-U beach volleyball team?

You don't think Blaine was somehow

involved in attacking Clover?

It's impossible to say for sure,

but better to be safe than sorry.

In that case, Clover needs to be alerted ASAP.

Let's go.

Clover, are we ever glad to see you.

That doesn't mean you have to plow me

down in the middle of campus.

Jerry just called.

You know that little device we found?

Turns out it's a pocket pump for volleyballs.

Huh?

They're standard issue for the Mali-U beach volleyball team.

Hmm.

You know, Blaine's beach volleyball team.

(LAUGHING) Hello?

Since when is Blaine the only guy to go to the mall?

Maybe it fell out of my stuff.

I do spend a lot of time with my future hubby.

That's just it.

Even though you spend a lot of time with Blaine,

what do you really know about him?

I know enough to know that Blaine would never

hurt me in a million year--

[screaming]

Guess the picnic was Blaine's idea, huh?

I thought when Blaine said he wanted to take

me out he meant on a date.

Looks like you'll have to put those wedding plans on hold.

(CRYING) This totally explains the stain on his shirt.

It was picante sauce.

And to think I just picked out our china pattern.

Time for a little background check on your boyfriend baddy.

Forget WOOHP.

I've got a better idea.

Let's go right to the source.

Hmm.

With all the super rad designers in SoCal,

you'd think someone would design a better uniform.

Let's just get in and out before Blaine gets back.

Hello?

Is anybody home?

Mali-U cleaning crew.

Bland dorm furniture, check.

Posters of cute girls, check.

Dirty laundry on the floor, check.

Yep.

Looks like your average, run-of-the-mill

boy's dorm room.

I can't believe I suspected poor, innocent Blainey.

I'm such a bad girlfriend.

Careful.

Remember what happened the last time you said that.

Ow.

Girls?

Something tells me we're not at Mali-U anymore.

Whoa.

There's nothing innocent about this.

Hmm.

Ew.

Gross.

Creepy stalker much?

Blaine's been watching our every spy move with a periscope.

Since he knows all about us, it's only

fair we learn all about him.

[gasping]

This confirms it.

Blaine is a freelance spy sent to eliminate Clover.

I can't believe it.

I know.

Having an assassin boyfriend is a total bummer.

Not that.

He totally got my fave movie of all time wrong.

"10 Things I Love About You But Still Wanna Change"

is my third fave at best.

Don't worry, Clover.

Together, we'll beat that lying, cheating, no-good

spy boyfriend at his own game.

I hardly think this is the time to set

Blaine up with Mandy, Sam.

Oh.

You don't mean that kind of revenge.

[gasping]

Oh, no.

Blaine's home.

Come on.

Luckily I know just the place to get back at him.

If we want to hoodwink Blaine into believing

we're none the wiser, you have to act natural.

Just relax, OK?

Hmm.

Here goes nothing.

Hi, Blaine.

(LAUGHING) I mean Blainey, how was practice?

Clover, I wasn't expecting to hear from you again.

I mean not before our sunset stroll on the beach.

That's actually what I was calling about.

We still on for 8:00?

Wouldn't miss it for the world, Poki.

Ugh.

Ugh.

I can't believe I fell for such a two-faced spy jerk.

Try to look on the bright side.

What bright side?

Think of all the time you'll save not planning the wedding.

I'll wait over there for my no-good boyfriend while you two

hide behind those sand dunes.

Blaine won't know what hit him.

Totally.

I just love a good sneak attack.

That makes two of us.

If there's one thing I hate about coming to the beach,

it's the sand fleas.

Spiders Spiders aren't much fun either.

[screaming]

Ah.

Get it off.

Get it off.

[grunting]

Even though we're totally losing, I have to say it--

super cool gadget.

Clover.

[gasping]

Blaine, if I didn't know better,

I'd think you were trying to sneak up on me.

Only so I could give you a big hug, beautiful.

I've missed you so much.

So how was your day?

My day?

Well, let's see.

I got up, worked out, almost got taken out by my lunch, then

discovered you're the one that tried to blow me up.

Don't worry.

The bad day's almost over.

Haven't you heard?

A good boyfriend is hard to nab.

When you see one, let me know.

[laughter]

(GASPING) You brought supper?

Your last supper, that is.

It's a shame someone as cute as you could be such a bad person.

And it's a shame someone as cute

as you could be such a bad boyfriend.

Oh.

Impressive moves.

They teach you that at evil spy school?

You would know.

You obviously graduated top of your class.

Huh?

I can't believe Blaine thinks Clover's an evil spy.

Which means he also thinks we're evil spies.

Time to call Jer.

[grunting]

When we get out of this, we really

need to get the name of Blaine's gadget supplier.

Yeah.

They totally rock.

Oh.

Oh.

Careful, sunshine.

The cheesecake's a little heavy on the cream.

You be careful, peanut.

The appies have toothpicks.

You keep calling me the baddy, but you're the one who's been

stalking me this whole time.

And so far this month, you've stolen

a weapon of world destruction, robbed a bank,

and tried to break into the mall.

Wait.

You think I had something to do with those?

If the crime fits.

[grunting]

Haven't you ever heard of innocent until proven guilty?

Hey.

[grunting]

Jerry, as you can see, we kinda need your help.

Oh, my.

I'm on my way.

Ah.

How could someone so cute be so wrong for me?

Ugh.

Ah. I mean hello?

You're totally insane.

And you're totally not fooling me.

[grunting]

[boat horn blaring]

[screaming]

Oh, my.

Ugh.

OK.

Time to put an end to this weak, weird relationship.

[gasping]

Hmm.

Listen, Blaine.

There's obviously been some mistake.

What do you say we grab a bite and figure this thing out?

Sorry.

I've lost my appetite.

[screaming]

Our gadgets may not be as super advanced as yours,

but they get the job done.

[grunting]

Is there any way you could erase

Blaine's memory so we could still, you know, be a couple?

Clover.

What?

It's a shame to let all my plans go to waste.

(COUGHING) Perhaps you won't have to.

After a little sleuthing of my own,

it appears that Blaine is actually an agent for good.

Ugh.

Sure didn't feel that way when he was

pelting me with tuna casserole.

And so is Clover.

Oh, right.

You can't speak.

Here.

Allow me.

Phew.

But I don't understand.

I was hired to off a baddy.

Now I'm afraid Clover isn't the villain

your anonymous employer made her out to be.

How did you know about my employer?

Even I don't know who it is.

Hello?

World Organization of Human Protection much?

They know everything.

I'm sorry I put you through all this,

but I thought you were totally evil.

I'll forgive you on one condition.

Anything.

Just name it.

Hmm.

We officially get back together.

Oh.

There's still a little matter of figuring

out who set Blaine up and who tried to take out Clover.

After the sunset stroll on the beach.

But-- but--

Don't ruin the romantic moment.

[music playing]