All language subtitles for Stuck.In.The.Middle.S03E09.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264.DUAL-C76_Legendas03.ENG

[indistinct radio transmission]

I can't believe someone robbed
the Bait and Bite.

And what kind of thief
leaves one boot? [sighs]

I mean, if you're going to steal
the left, why leave the right?!

Cops don't have a single lead.

No forced entry.
No broken windows.

These guys were pros.

They even took my tuna sandwich
out of the fridge.

The joke's on them,
it was from last week.

Good thing my slushy machine
is bolted down

or they would've taken it too.

I don't take chances
with my baby.

I don't want to tell you
how to do your job,

but I'm going to.

Where's the CSI unit?

Isn't anybody
looking for heat signatures?

We're happy to help.

You may remember us

as streetwise detectives
Peeby and Jay

from our brother's
student film.

[grunts]

- If not,
we'll send you the link.
- Mm-hmm.

Man, they even took
the dollar I had framed.

It was the first one I made
as owner of the store.

Oh, I hope this place
does well.

Because paying
for two kids' college--

ugh, I can't even imagine.

Mr. President,
may you be the first of many.

[chuckles]

Ah.

Out of everything they took,

that dollar hurts the most.

Sorry, Dad.

I'd say we play
that singing bass
that always cheers you up,

but they stole that too.

Have the police checked
the security camera footage yet?

They're doing it
as we speak.

Oh.

[sighs]

Do we know if Dad
had any of the snails

from the bait tank
"chipped"?

Smart thinking.

Let's tell the cops to commit
all their resources to it.

Whoa.

Let the officers do their job.

- They're stretched too thin.
- Mm-hmm.

They need our help.

- Your help, not helpful.
- [sighs]

Besides, the security footage

will tell us
everything we need to know.

[scoffs]

Bad news.
The security camera
didn't record.

What? How could that happen?

Just bad luck, I guess.

But it's never
done that before.

You know what, Harls,
uh, why don't you take
the boys home?

I'll meet you there.

The camera
didn't catch anything,

so I'll have to.

Criminals,
if you're watching this,

turn yourself in while you can.

Harley Diaz is on the case.

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Sometimes it feels like
things are outta control ♪

♪ Like you're living in
a circus ♪

♪ Tryin' to figure out
your way in the world ♪

♪ Where you're at
is kinda perfect ♪

♪ So turn it up,
turn it up ♪

♪ Do your thing,
don't stop ♪

♪ Let the games begin,
let's jump right in ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

♪ In the middle
of the party ♪

♪ We're just
getting started ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

♪ In the eye of the tornado,
rowin' in the same boat ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

♪ Get stuck in
the middle with you ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

Okay, it's up to us kids

to figure out
who robbed the store.

We can't trust our parents
with a mystery this big.

She's right. Dad can't
find his keys when they're
the only thing on the table.

Let's talk suspects.

Rachel's ex-boyfriend
and former Bait and Bite
employee...

Cuff.

A broken heart, busted career,

and he knows where
all the keys are.

Cuff had plenty of reasons
to rob the store.

But so did fishing phenom
and disgruntled tenant...

Colt Bailey.

We destroyed his stuff,

and his dog ate our couch
and pooped pillows for a week.

You want motive? Look no further
than Dad's biggest competition.

Rod from Rod's Reel and Deal.

He'd do anything
to shut down the store.

And look at this.

[beeps]

Come on down to Rod's!

We recently expanded
our inventory,

and it's priced tomove!

Come on down!

Whoo! That's hot!

Just like these deals!

[phone beeps]

[scoffs] "Expanded inventory"?

In other words, Dad's stuff.

I've got a suspect.

Georgie.

Maybe she's not really
at basketball camp. Hmm?

Think about it,

she says she goes,

but she never comes back better.

Hmm?

Okay, everybody
do some investigating,

and we'll meet back here
in a couple of hours.

[scoffs] And it wasn't Georgie.

She doesn't get better
because she's bad at basketball.

I can say that
because she's not here.

What are you kids up to?

Trying to see
if we can track down
who robbed the store.

[sighs] No takers on my ad
so far looking for
"recently stolen canoes."

They may be smarter
than we think.

Well, it's too bad
the security footage got stolen,

it would've been helpful.

Stolen?

Dad said the camera
didn't work.

Well, if it was stolen,
it couldn't work.

If it was stolen,

why wouldn't he
just say "stolen"?

Broken... stolen...
cat, dog, pie,

they're all just words.

Shoot, I hear the dryer beeper.

Okay, that made no sense,

and the dryer's not upstairs.

Mom and Dad
are acting strange.

You're just noticing now
Mom and Dad are strange.

[scoffs]

They're hiding something.

It's written
all over their faces.

[gasps] Their faces!

Last summer I was working on
facial recognition software
for my slushy machine

to streamline
the ordering process.

I wanted it to digitally
recognize a customer's face

so they could get
their favorite slushy faster.

Can you streamline
the point of this story?

You mean dumb it down for you?

I never disconnected the eye.

There might be a second video
of the robbery!

We have to get down
to the store and check.

Uh, but it's still
an active crime scene.

What if the thieves
come back?

If you're scared,
I'll go by myself.

Seriously?!

I was going to follow you!

[sighs]

This mystery
is spread pretty thick.

And only Marco Peeby
and Frank Jay can get
to the bottom of it.

Yeah.

We have to think
like dirt bags.

They hit our store,
maybe they'll hit
our house next.

It's what I'd do.

Officer Sasha Phluff,

ready to blow this case
wide open.

Slow down. Movie cops
are always partners.

One's all business,
the other's a loose cannon.

Yeah, there's no "all business"
or "loose cannon's"
little sister.

Besides,
we don't work with rookies.

Mm-mm.

I'm not going anywhere.

I've been looking for an excuse

to bring justice
to these streets.

Let's jet, Peeby.
We've got suspects to rattle.

No sense sticking around here
since the new kid
blew our cover.

Mm-hmm.

Blew your cover?

You're in a bright red baby car.

I don't understand why we just
can't just turn the light on.

Because we're not
supposed to be in here.

Besides,
we don't need light.

The place is empty,
it's not like I'm going to--

- [screams]
- Harley!

See, this is why the thieves
didn't want you. [sighs]

Check it out.

A toothpick.

Just like Rod
is always chewing on.

His are cinnamon.

It's cinnamon!

You realize that was in
a stranger's mouth, right?

Ugh!

Chew on all
the floor toothpicks you want,

they're all just guesses
until we see what
my slushy eye picked up.

[beeps]

- Download complete.
- [chuckles]

We need to go home and watch
the footage on this thing.

This little drive could have
all the answers we need.

Try not to put it
in your mouth.

Okay, moment of truth.

Okay.

Let's check my slushy feed.

These photos were all taken
in the last 24 hours.

[beeps]

Customer, customer, customer,

Lewie and Beast playing walrus
with the straws,

Dad itching his butt...

Eh, I can see that at home.

[beeps]

Wait. Oh, it doesn't have
night vision capabilities.

We missed the whole robbery!

[clears throat]

Officers Peeby and Jay,
reporting for duty.

Sorry we didn't shave,
we pulled a double shift.

The streets don't give up
their answers easy.

[sighs] Yeah, I had to miss
my kid's T-Ball game,

and I haven't made one
of those all season.

I curse the day
I made those characters.

Anyway, we commandeered
Ethan's camera

and grilled
all the major suspects.

First, Rachel's
slacker ex-boyfriend Cuff.

- [Lewie]Still up to
your old tricks, huh?
- Me?

I've moved on from tagging
kayaks at your dad's place.

I get paid big bucks
as a graffiti artist. [laughs]

I'm doing a mural right now.

[Beast]You expect us
to believe people would pay

for unsightly garbage
like this?

Well, actually, the mayor
commissioned me to do it.

[Lewie]Can we get the address
of this "mayor"?

We moved on to
fishing champion Colt Bailey.

[Lewie]Colt, is that you,
or is your twin brother
a filthy drifter?

It's me.

My whole life's gone downhill

since my line got tangled
with the Diaz family.

I ended up losing
that tournament,

I haven't won one since.

[Beast]Sounds like somebody's
been fishing for cash.

That's why you robbed
the store, isn't it?

You couldn't get me
within 100 yards of that place.

Since I set foot in there,
I lost my mojo,

my endorsements,
even my dog hates me.

Guppy left me for the new
phenom fisherman, Leroy McFly.

I never want to see
that store again.

You catchin' what I'm castin'?

Nice work, guys.

Our last suspect is Rod.

See what you can
find out about him.

Catching human slime
like that

is the reason
I joined the force.

And the policeman's ball,
they pull out all the stops.

[door closes]

Wait, there's more pictures.

It's the next morning.

There's the police.

There's us leaving.

There's Mom and Dad.

Wait. What are they carrying?

- Is that...?
What are they doing
- with the security recorder?

Looks like we
just found our lead.

And it leads straight
to our parents!

Hey, guys.

We deserve something fun.

I was thinking
pizza for dinner.

- Great.
- Mmm, pizza.

She's onto us.

We've got to
set up headquarters
in a secure location.

Mom and Dad are suspects?

We just wasted an hour
following Rod around Mega-Mart.

The suspect ate 3 cheese cubes,
17 wasabi peas,

and a cracker with
an undetermined nut butter.

Guys, take a 10-minute
coffee break from that routine.

Ow!

Now, why would Mom and Dad
take the security recorder?

I guess they didn't want anyone
to see what was on it.

Maybe they're
covering something up.

Maybe the store
wasn't robbed at all.

Wait. What if they're tired
of running it and want out?

- You mean, like,
sell the place and move?
- Mm-hmm.

They do hate the cold winters.

Yeah, Mom's always saying

she wants to punch February
in the face.

And kick March
in the slats.

But why wouldn't they
just tell us the truth?

Because they know
we hate the idea of moving.

Remember the one time
they brought it up?

You two chained yourselves
to the bannister.

I bet Mom and Dad
sold all the inventory
to Rod for moving money.

We could be strangers
in a warm town by next week.

We should bust them
right now.

[sighs] Oh, man,
I wish we weren't
on that coffee break.

They'll just deny everything.

We've got no proof.

All the evidence we need
is on that security recorder.

We need to find out
where they put it.

[both] Whoa!

Have you been lying in there
the whole time?

It's where I was lyingbefore
you should be asking about.

[Daphne]Since I'm the only one
in this department

who has what it takes
for a stakeout,

I've been deep in a series
of under-bed missions.

The evidence
to solve this mystery
is right here in the house.

Only problem,
it's in the hardest
possible place to get into:

Mom and Dad's bedroom closet.

[dramatic music]

Too much?

Maybe not enough.

That closet
is like the Fort Knox
of the Diaz household.

[Harley]It's where
Mom and Dad keep stuff

they don't want kids touching:

anything breakable, valuable,
sentimental, chocolate...

And now, for some reason,

the Bait and Bite
security recorder.

To make matters worse,

it's the only door in the house
that's locked.

Someone needs to figure out
a plan to get that key.

You mean you, right?

Of course I mean me.

- Okay.
- Oh.

Okay, we've got to get
into Mom and Dad's closet.

To pull it off,
we're going to have to do

something complicated,
dangerous,

and darn near impossible:

work together.

Prepare yourselves
for the Taper Caper.

Okay.

We're going to get that key.

[Harley]The first part
of the Taper Caper
is distraction.

Hey, Mom. You mind
helping me with my calculus?

[Harley]We all know Mom loves
showing off her math chops.

Love to.

Did you know that I minored
in accounting in college?

[Harley]We did.
But what she doesn't know
is that tonight's problem

was taken from the homepage

of the Einstein
Mathematics Society.

That should
keep her occupied

and out of our hair
well past bedtime.

Which frees us up to focus
on target number two.

Dad keeps the keys
to the closet

on the Bait and Bite key chain
attached to his belt loop.

Daddy?

Will you read me
a bedtime story?

Of course I will, pumpkin.

The Daddy's Little Girl
Maneuver,

when deployed correctly,

has a 100% success rate.

So, what are we reading
for nighty night?

The Complete Works
of Edgar Allan Poe.

[Harley]
In that cramped space,

those keys
will get uncomfortable quick.

That's when we make
our next move.

[Tom] "But the Raven, sitting
lonely on the placid bust,
spoke only that...

[Harley]While Dad's
preoccupied with
his marathon story,

Lewie and Beast
will secure the package.

[Tom] "...not a feather
then he fluttered

till I scarcely more
than muttered..."

[Harley]
And once the package is secure,

that's where
the science comes in.

[Tom] "...as my hopes
have flown before.

Then the bird said,
"Nevermore.""

And that's how it's done.

Now we're gonna use
the impression in the clay

to make a copy of the key.

This was originally
an ice cream coating,

but it was too hard.

No such thing
as a failed invention...

just one I haven't
figured out yet.

[Harley]
Come to mama, Recorder.

[gasps] It's 42!
The answer is 42!

Once I realized the problem
was all in respect to
a single variable, voila!

Maybe you should
check your work.

Already did. I've earned myself
some leftover Halloween candy.

[phone rings]

[beeps]

The canary has left the cage!

Oh!

Tom, I need the closet key!

[Tom] Catch!

Come to mama, secret chocolate.

[grunts]

This isn't the bag.

Oh, wait. Yes, it is.

Mmm!

Mmm.

Okay, show time.

Grab your snacks
and hold onto your hats.

This is where we
finally find out the truth.

Huh. This footage
is from the backdoor camera.

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

It was me.

I'm the reason we got robbed.

I-I taped the door
and forgot to undo it.

I left it unlocked.

[whispers] I think
we've got a confession.

Mom and Dad aren't guilty.

I am.

[sighs]

Uh, but wait...

Why would Mom and Dad
cover it up?

As a person
who messes up a lot,

I know they're not afraid
to point it out and punish.

He's right.

This is so bad,
it's beyond punishment.

I'm such a disappointment,

they don't even know
what to say.

We already figured out
what happened.

Why are you
still in uniform?

We want to be ready
when the next crime breaks out.

They say the first half-hour
is the most important.

We waste that time
getting into costume.

And you?

I think we all know
that these two

aren't solving any crimes.

Have any of you seen Harley?

She's not in her room.

We watched the security footage
last night.

She knows she's the reason
the store got robbed.

[sighs]

Do you guys know
where we can find her?

[drill whirring]

Harley!

How did you know
she was here?

I did what any good cop
would do...

I played a hunch.

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

Harls,
what are you doing?

I'm going to sell
my slushy machine.

It was the only thing
I could think of to help
pay back some of the losses.

But you two just celebrated
your second slushi-versary.

[chuckles]

Don't pretend like we all
don't know what I did.

I win the "Worst Diaz" award.

[sighs]

Actually,
I'm a contender.

Remember that time our car
broke down in that snowstorm?

The one where we missed Lewie
and Beast's Christmas pageant?

Only Mom and Dad know,
but that happened because

I borrowed part of the engine
for the set of my racing movie.

Yeah, it's not just him.

Last summer, Beast and I
broke a water main

panning for gold
in the backyard.

[sighs] We were fools

to buy that treasure map
from Poopy and Goon.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I had a big mess up too.

The food spoiled
last Thanksgiving

because the fridge got unplugged
when I broke the centerpiece.

Breaking the centerpiece
doesn't unplug the fridge.

It does when you shove it
behind there with a broom.

Mm.

I can't believe it.

Everyone knew about
this stuff but me?

No, no one knew it.

The same way no one
was going to know that
you left the door unlocked.

Every kid in the family
has at one time
made a huge mistake.

This just happens to be
your first.

We usually talk to them
in private about it,

but you just beat us
to the punch.

[both laugh]

Everybody
makes mistakes,

not everybody
needs to know about it.

The day that I made
that dollar,

your mom and I made
so many mistakes,

we were lucky
to stay open.

Mr. President,
may you be the first of many.

[chuckles]

Ah.

[glass breaks]

How about I show you out?

Oh! Oh!

And despite all that,
here we are,

a million mistakes later,
still in business.

So you're saying
it's in our genes?

Deep.

[all laugh]

[Harley]
Turns out the biggest mystery

is how our family
survived all these years.

♪ Love is the answer ♪

Who wants a slushy?

- Me!
- I do!

But you might as well take
your Sherlock Holmes hats off.

We'll never
figure that one out.

Hey. Celebrating
the good news, huh?

What good news?

They caught the fellas
that robbed your store.

They tried to rob me,
but recently I beefed up
my security.

Oh, you ramped it up
after they hit us?

Nope, I did it because
lately I felt like

I was being followed
by a couple of short fellas.

♪ What's wrong with that? ♪

I'll take a slushy for the road.

♪ What's wrong with that? ♪

I think I know
where to hang this.

[horn honks]