All language subtitles for Stuck.In.The.Middle.S03E06.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264.DUAL-C76_Legendas03.ENG

[bell ringing]

Goin' somewhere?

Oh, uh, [laughs]...

I like to get
the flood flowing
before class.

Yeah, at first I thought
you didn't want
to sit next to me.

Like maybe you were embarrassed
about losing your cool

and recruiting
an entire army of children

to knock down
your own fence.

I'm not looking
for an argument, Aidan.

Let's just keep a safe distance
from each other

until graduation.

Graduation?!

Someone's an underachiever.

I'm shootin' for forever.

- What's this?
- Pop quiz.

What?! Miss Wilson
didn't tell us
we had a quiz.

I believe
that's the "pop" part.

But what do I know?
I'm just an underachiever.

I know I'm better than this,
but I'm not gonna lie--

it's fun to watch him suffer.

[rhythmic tapping]

Do you mind?

Helps me concentrate.

Well, it does
the opposite for me.

Great. Now we know
where everyone stands.

- [tapping continues]
- [scoffs]

I don't know
which bugs me more--

his fingers or his face.

Fingers, face. Fingers, face.

Fingers, face.

[Harley]
Honestly, it's a toss-up.

It's impossible
to avoid this guy.

I'm an inventor, though.

I should be able
to figure this out.

[chain rattles]

No, a fence
is what started
all of this.

Oh! How about...

- [engine revving]
- Good-bye, drummer boy!

Eh, he'll just come back
when the batteries die.

Maybe... teleportation!
Send him to Mars!

Wait. I want to be
the first person on Mars.

Better send him to Venus.

[zaps]

It's 800 degrees there--

a perfect fit
for all his hot air.

[laughs] Hot air.

Hey, Miss Wilson
said pencils down.

Wilson said what?

I didn't finish.
I didn't even start.

You should try drumming.

Helps you focus.

[imitates rim shot]

Coming for my backyard
is bad enough,

but messing with my grades?
Too far.

I'm at least three years away
from inventing a teleporter,

but when I do, forget Venus--

this jerk's booked
a ticket to the sun.

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Sometimes it feels like
things are outta control ♪

♪ Like you're living in
a circus ♪

♪ Tryin' to figure out
your way in the world ♪

♪ Where you're at
is kinda perfect ♪

♪ So turn it up,
turn it up ♪

♪ Do your thing,
don't stop ♪

♪ Let the games begin,
let's jump right in ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

♪ In the middle
of the party ♪

♪ We're just
getting started ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

♪ In the eye of a tornado,
rowin' in the same boat ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

♪ Get stuck in
the middle with you ♪

♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪

[Harley, over PA]
Lastly, the results are in.

Tomorrow, the news
you've all been waiting for--

who will win the epic battle
for class president.

[bell dings]

- Will it be Steve?
- [applause]

- Will it be Geneva?
- [applause]

Will you be able to sleep
until you find out?

- [snoring]

[laughs]
I know I won't.

Breaking election results
right here during
Friday's announcements.

This was Harley on the mic.
Thanks for listening.

Not that you have a choice--

I'm playing through
all the speakers in the school.

[sign-off music]

Oh, hi. Thanks for waiting
until the "on air" light
went off this time.

Uh, yeah. Well,
you learn fast

after you've had
a mic thrown at your head.

I woulda thrown these,
but it took me two days

to get the bling just right.

So...

how about letting your BFTF

get a peek at
the election results?

I want to make a big bet
with the lunch lady.

I'm talkin', like,
a whole week's worth
of potato tots.

I'd hate to see Rosie
clean you out again.

I'm sorry. The results are
kept in a sealed envelope.

Ohh.

Whoo! Scary doodle.

- Who's the ugly dude
standing on the sun?
- It's Aidan.

I'm still working
on his fangs and--

Bake sale! Ohh!

I'm not sure bake sale
goes with your whole
monster motif.

No! I forgot to announce
the bake sale.

I was too distracted
thinking about melting Aidan.

He's in two of my classes.

[laughs] He's in my grade,

and you have more classes
with him than I do.

That's what you get
for being smart.

I'm telling you,
this guy is so annoying,

he's one drummity-drum
of the fingers away

from landing on
the Dead to Diaz list.

The Diaz kids have a tradition:

We can each declare one person
Dead to Diaz,

and then they're off-limits
to all of us.

Lewie and Beast declared
their arch-rival twins,

Poopie and Goon.

Daphne declared her babysitter
that kept calling Daphne a doll,

and Georgie declared
climate change.

I'm not sure Georgie gets it.

But you're the middle kid.

You get along with everyone!

You're the only one
who's never had
a person on the list.

Ach, you're right.
I am.

Plus, there are more
constructive ways
to deal with this.

Baseball hat
that smooshes his head,

folding umbrella
made of dynamite--

Boom!
Yes, that's a good one.

Is it just me,
or have your inventions
taken a dark turn?

Just problem solving, Mom.

[Bethany]
♪ Ding dong! ♪

I was doing some cleanup

after the most recent border war
your daughter started.

Kudos on being
the sort of neighbor

to make me utter
that sentence.

Thanks! But it's really
a nine-person effort.

Well, I hope we're still on
to supervise

Harley and Aiden's
replanting by the fence
this afternoon?

Yes, I'll be there
with bushes, mulch,

and stern mom face.

Well, it's never too late
to start parenting.

- Mm-hmm.
- I'm hoping I can count on you

to help with
the school bake sale
this week?

Ooh, sorry, I'm really busy.

I won't have time to make
my world-famous brownies.

I'm selling my kale-licious
healthy milkshakes.

Kids' health
is important to me, so...

anyhoo,
see you in a bit.

Can't wait!

[door closes]

That woman is so annoying,
telemarketers hang up on her.

- Yup.
- That's it? "Yup"?

She drives you crazy.

Not anymore.

But Ms. Peters
is your Aidan.

How'd you keep your cool?

Lately, I've been
trying out a new technique.

It's working great, huh?

Yeah. You need to teach me
so I can use it with Aidan.

I know I'm way beyond you
in science,

but there are
still some things
I can learn from you.

Like how to ask for a favor
without insulting
the person you're asking?

Sure. We'll pencil that in
for next week.

[Ethan] Remember,

we need a new hit show.

What do people
like to watch? Drama.

And there's nothing
more exciting than
the life-or-death drama

of the people who work
on the high seas.

What is this?

Dad, we need you
to take us out on a boat

directly into a huge storm.

And we need a crew.

Is there any employees
you wouldn't miss

if they fell overboard?

Yeah, I'm not gonna answer that
with a camera present.

So what are you guys up to?

We're doing our new show--
Vicious Fish.

My channel's been
losing subscribers

ever since these two
bailed on Trash Twins.

You've eaten one
chocolate-dipped
tuna sandwich,

you've eaten 'em all.

It was time to move on.

We didn't want to be seen
as garbage eaters forever.

Not professionally, anyway.

Sorry, but I'm docked
here at the store.

Gotta rotate the chum.

- [groans]
- A small setback.

The water isn't the only place
for a deep sea show.

I'm sure there's plenty
of life-or-death drama

right here at the store.

[Beast] Vicious Fish!

Drama next to the high seas!

Every day the great men
and women who take to the sea

come here first to prepare
for their hard-fought battles

with the ocean's
most dangerous beasts.

A post card?

[post card holder squeaks]

Maybe one last correspondence
with a loved one

before he's torn to shreds
by a school of barracuda!

Vicious!

Will that licorice
be his last meal?

Vicious!

Local store owner Tom Diaz

has been peddling harpoons
and shark bait

for 18 dangerous years.

- [phone rings]
- Tom's Bait and Bite.

Whoa. That's a real problem.

A real problem?

No doubt a weary fisherman
has found himself

trapped in the eye of the storm,

at the mercy of Mother Nature.

Well, if you're
out of meatball,
I'll go chicken parm.

Man in crisis
makes a quick decision.

That was a close one.

Vicious!

[croaking]

Vicious Fish!

- [splashing]
- [man screams]

We can all agree
this stinks, right?

Mm-hmm.

So here's my secret
to handling Bethany.

Whatever she says,
I agree.

- That's it?
- Yes.

Turns out, the quickest way
to end an argument

is just to agree
with the other person.

I finally realized
that's what your dad
does to me.

So, now I say yes...
for no distress.

I came up with that.

Pretty snappy.
I could see that
on a T-shirt.

Thanks! I had
another method I tried,

but it wasn't as good.

Bethany! Bethany! Bethany!

Ooh!

That explains why
our throw pillows
are so flat.

Just try using my technique
on Aidan

while you're working
on the fence.

I don't know. There's so many
annoying things about him.

He's self-centered,
it's always "me, me, me."

He always corrects
whatever I say
like he knows better.

Oh, and he does this obnoxious
drumming with his fingers.

[rhythmic tapping]

It's annoying, right?
You can see how it's annoying.

Yeah, I'll try
your technique.

[laughs] It's gonna be
a lot of work

fixing this fence we ruined,
huh, neighbor?

"We"? Only one of us
had a tiny army
and a bike tank.

Yeah. That's true.

Guess I got
a little carried away.

Whatever.

As long as
there are no pop quizzes,
you should be fine.

Right?

You better take it.

I'll never get through this
if weapons are an option.

I... like the placement
of those shrubs.

Well, actually,
these aren't shrubs.

These are flowers.

You can tell
from the... flowers.

[laughs] Yes.
You're right.

I stand corrected.

It's not like
I practice lacrosse
for no reason.

I scored 32 goals last year.

I was interviewed
in the local paper.

I make a mean grilled cheese.

Hmm!

I lived in Italy
for a year.

I changed the spark plugs
on my dad's car.

I think I got
something in my eye.

I. I. I.

I. I. I. I. I. I.

Cool! Amazing. Wow.

[rhythmic beating]

...just a precautionary
fumigation.

That's all I'm suggesting.

Yes! Yes.

Needless to say,
I was named team M.V.P.

- Yes!
- One year I scored 50.

That's how I got my nickname.

"Ace man."

Ace man. [laughs]

Catchy.

Wow, I didn't know
you had so many interesting
things to say about yourself.

Good thought. More yogurt
in my diet would be helpful.

Yes. Interesting.

You're so right.

Good point.
I do sound like that.

Y'know, Suzy,
this afternoon has been
surprisingly enjoyable.

Yes.

Y'know,
this wasn't terrible.

Yes, it wasn't.

[Lewie] That was the day

the red tide brought in...
beach snakes.

[Tom] Guys.

Is that bait
from the store?

Short answer: Yes.

We're faking
a giant snake infestation.

There's no drama here.
This place is boring.

Yeah. We've been here all day

and we haven't seen
a shark attack,

a tidal wave, not even
one ghost of a dead fisherman.

Well, I'm sorry I run
a not-very-interesting store

that paid for
your video equipment.

No more filming here.

Tomorrow you guys
are Mom's problem.

[pained grunts]

So, to recap,
we have no location,

no storyline,
and a big mess to clean up.

- Not "it"!
- Good luck with that.

I can hear
the people unsubscribing

from my channel right now.

"Yes for no distress"
really worked.

If I could get through
three hours of "I, I, I,
tappity-tap-tap,"

I think I can handle Aidan
at school.

You've inspired me.

I'm gonna volunteer
at that bake sale Bethany's
been hounding me about.

Ooh, are you gonna make
your famous homemade brownies?

- Yes. Are you
gonna help me?
- No.

Sorry, Mom, I gotta save
my yeses for tomorrow.

We're Internet failures.

- You know what would help?
A cake pop.
- Mm-hmm.

Aw. Here's a dollar
for your pain.

- A dollar? For both of us?
- [whispers] Take it.

People give a discount
on damaged goods.

We squeeze a few cookies,
we eat like kings!

Let's go!

Check it! Perfect store
on my quiz.

I yessed my way
into ignoring Aidan.

Look at us. I'm baking,
and you're sizzling.

I'm back to
getting along
with everyone.

Love to chat, but I'm gonna
have to go announce
the election results.

I've been practicing.

"And the winner is Steve!"

"And the winner is Geneva!"

I hope Geneva wins. Her name
is way more fun to say.

Genevah!

Hey.

I de-blinged these.

I know no one can see me
while I'm doing these
announcements,

but they made me look dumb.

I do the announcements.
This is my booth!

Actually, it's the school's.

No, it's--

[laughs] Yes.
Of course.

I just meant I designed it
and put it together,

so it's my thing.

Well, Principal Kramer's
thing is getting
the new kid involved.

And I used
to do announcements
at my old school.

So here I am,
doing my thing.

Aaaah!

Sorry you had to see that.

Look, now isn't
the best time to start.

Today is the biggest
announcement of the year--

class election results.

I've been prepping for weeks.

I've got sound effects,
trivia,

and then... I hit 'em
with the big reveal.

So are you saying
that I can't do
the announcements?

I wouldn't say no.

Yes! You can read
some of them.

Ooh! Here's the lunch menu.

Salisbury steak is back!

Real crowd pleaser.

Go on. Just go now.

Move over here. Thanks.

Hey! What are you
feeling today?

Peanut butter
or chocolate chip?

Hmm, chocolate chip.

Sir, this cookie's defective.
Here's a nickel.

[Bethany]
Healthy and delicious.

Hang on.

Just kale and soy milk.

Mom and Ms. Peters
at a bake sale?

Our search for drama
might not be dead just yet!

You know, this has been
such a pleasant surprise.

You actually showed up today,

hooligans in tow.

Yes.
Thanks for inviting me.

And your kale-licious healthy
milkshakes look delicious.

Oh, thanks.
So do your...

Brownies. They're brownies.

I'll give you
the benefit of the doubt.

[both laughing]

Get ready. They're smiling,
but their jaws are clenched.

Just give it time.

I'll cue you
when it's your turn.

Honestly, I envy you.

The lunch menu
is as important
as what I'm about to read.

- Wanna trade?
- And we're on the air.

[giggles] Hey, Marshport High,
it's Harley comin' atcha.

We've got a great lineup
of announcements for you today,

including the big one--

the final result
of the student election.

But first let's talk
about that crazy new
bus pickup schedule--

Congrats, Geneva.
You won class president.

We'll be right back.

Why?! Why would you do that?!

You were going on and on.

The people want the news now.

We're back,
and so is Salisbury steak.

Make sure to tell
lunch lady Rosie

that Ace Man sent you.

[air horn blows]

What is the point
of being nice to you?!

You seem mad.

Wanna read
the rest of the lunch menu?

Of course I'm mad!

I've been practicing
saying "Geneva!" for weeks!

And I even practiced
saying "Steve,"

even though we all knew
he never had a chance!

You are the worst!
You are rude,

self-centered,

obnoxious, rude--

Did I say "rude" twice?

Yeah! That's because
you're twice as rude

as anyone I've ever met!

I can't believe my mom and I

wasted time pretending
to be nice to you and your aunt

so you guys would
stop driving us nuts!

Do you think
she actually liked looking

at Ms. Peters'
scrunched-up judgy face?

Her words, not mine!

Uh, that was taken...
out of context.

Kids, right?

You were right.
It's paying off.

Harley doesn't know
she's on air.

I-I've gotta go tell her.

- ...captain of
that pirate ship!
- [gasps]

Oh, but Ms. Peters
is about to flip the table!

No. No, I've gotta go.
Keep filming.

[Harley] Everything
you do enrages me!

...if I drive you so crazy,

then why did you
show up here with
your way-too-dry brownies?

I am sick and tired
of your insults!

My brownies are not dry.
They are delicious.

[grunting]

Unhh!

[Harley shouting over PA]

So good.

Tears, fighting,
dry baked goods.

It's all here on
the Mad Housemoms of Marshport.

...and what bugs me the most
is the drumming,

the drumming on the bench,
drumming on the bench,

drum, drum, drum, drum,
drum, drum, drum, drum,

drum, drum, drum, drum,
drum, drum, drum, drum!

You're not the only person
on the planet!

Let's watch as this bake sale
turns into a bake fail.

What point are you even
trying to make right now?

Best. Brownies. Ever!

[Harley shouting over PA]

What are you looking at?!

This is what sugar does.

...drum, drum, drum, drum,
drum, drum, drum, drum, drum--

You're on air!

[distant laughter]

And finally,

the late bus will be leaving
at 4:15 today.

Thank you.

What are you looking at?!

You want a kale-licious
milkshake? Nobody wants that.

Best brownies here!

[Beast] The Mad Housemoms
of Marshport.

- Delicious!
- [all laughing]

I'm not a big fan of reality,
but this I would watch.

Wait long enough
and this family
always delivers.

Executive producer Beast.

I like the sound of that.

I'm sorry I lost it today.

I guess I haven't quite
nailed down that technique.

I know the feeling.

I broadcast a total meltdown
in front of the whole school.

Well, I got on the bus
at 4:15, so... win?

Getting along
with difficult people
isn't easy.

I guess we could both use
some more practice.

You know what'll
make you feel better?

Topping off those brownies
with some more pizza.

Not sure it will,
but I'm willing to try.

It's time to put Aidan
on the Dead To Diaz list.

As much as I want to,
I've never put anyone
on that list before,

and I'm not gonna start now.

I don't want
to be that person.

Well, I don't mind
being that person.

Anyone who treats my BFTF
like that is dead to us.

So, what do you say, guys?

Aidan? Dead to Diaz?

[both] Hear, hear!

- Cheers.
- Mm.

[Harley] Do I have an enemy
out there? Yes.

Do I have my family
on my side? Yes.

Can I coexist with Aidan?

Not sure, but I'm going to try.

After all, I'm an inventor.

I should have stuck
to my strengths.

Anti-Aidan ears.

They cancel out
the specific frequency
of his voice

so I can't hear him.

[Aiden] ...natural ability
for science.

Yeah, after this semester

they're gonna be calling me
the Ace Man

for another reason.

I always get good grades.
So good, in fact, that...

[Harley] With some people,

hearing them out
is a solution.

With Aidan, not hearing him
at all works best.

[car horn honks]