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1
00:00:04,083 --> 00:00:05,499
Uh-oh.
2
00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:07,707
You're a little bit
under-dressed.
3
00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:09,624
That's okay.
You probably didn't know
4
00:00:09,625 --> 00:00:11,707
that tonight is
the biggest night of the year
5
00:00:11,708 --> 00:00:14,582
in our house--
the fifth annual Diaz awards.
6
00:00:14,583 --> 00:00:16,874
All of us kids vote on
the best, worst,
7
00:00:16,875 --> 00:00:18,624
and most Diaz-y moments
of the year.
8
00:00:18,625 --> 00:00:21,457
Then we have this amazing party
to announce the winners.
9
00:00:21,458 --> 00:00:23,124
It's really
the only swanky party
10
00:00:23,125 --> 00:00:25,332
our family has a chance
of being invited to.
11
00:00:25,333 --> 00:00:26,832
Here come
the nominees now.
12
00:00:26,833 --> 00:00:29,582
Rachel, are you excited
about tonight's festivities?
13
00:00:29,583 --> 00:00:32,165
- Well, Tom...
- Ooh, still Dad.
14
00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:34,707
Winning a Diaz award
would just be a bonus,
15
00:00:34,708 --> 00:00:36,708
because family
is everything.
16
00:00:38,166 --> 00:00:40,582
Uh, could ya? I'd like
this to just be me.
17
00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:42,582
HARLEY:This all may seem
silly to you,
18
00:00:42,583 --> 00:00:45,290
but every family has
their goofy competitions.
19
00:00:45,291 --> 00:00:47,874
Some play board games,
we do this.
20
00:00:47,875 --> 00:00:49,582
It started when we were
all snowed in,
21
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,374
and told our favorite
family stories.
22
00:00:52,375 --> 00:00:54,707
And over the years,
just like our family,
23
00:00:54,708 --> 00:00:56,749
it kept getting
bigger and bigger.
24
00:00:56,750 --> 00:00:59,499
She's wearing
Daphne Diaz.
25
00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:01,290
- Ooh, okay.
- I designed it myself.
26
00:01:01,291 --> 00:01:02,874
Sparkling Juice
27
00:01:02,875 --> 00:01:04,707
Lewie, who are you
wearing tonight?
28
00:01:04,708 --> 00:01:06,457
Ethan Diaz.
29
00:01:06,458 --> 00:01:08,874
From my finest Easter suit
hand-me-down collection.
30
00:01:08,875 --> 00:01:11,832
- No tie.
- Thought I'd
keep it casual.
31
00:01:11,833 --> 00:01:15,332
I thought I'd keep it
more casual.
32
00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:17,874
Rethink that.
Pants are not optional.
33
00:01:17,875 --> 00:01:19,707
And like any good
family game,
34
00:01:19,708 --> 00:01:20,499
this is the competition.
35
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:21,124
RACHEL ♪
GEORGIE ♪
ETHAN ♪
36
00:01:21,125 --> 00:01:21,957
HARLEY **LEWIE BEAST ♪
DAPHNE ♪
37
00:01:21,958 --> 00:01:24,207
At the end of the night,
whoever has the most trophies
38
00:01:24,208 --> 00:01:25,957
wins the biggest award
of all--
39
00:01:25,958 --> 00:01:28,207
Diaz of the year--
40
00:01:28,208 --> 00:01:30,290
which comes with the most
important prize of all.
41
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:32,832
♪ I'm the winner,
you are the loser ♪
42
00:01:32,833 --> 00:01:35,208
- ♪ I'm the winner... ♪
- Bragging rights.
- ♪ You are the loser ♪
43
00:01:36,583 --> 00:01:39,624
Well, Mom and Dad
tallied up all the votes.
44
00:01:39,625 --> 00:01:41,874
I have no idea
who the winners are,
45
00:01:41,875 --> 00:01:43,707
but the results
are right in here.
46
00:01:43,708 --> 00:01:45,874
Wow, they really amped up
security this year.
47
00:01:45,875 --> 00:01:48,749
Oh, no, I just didn't
want to lose Dad's briefcase.
48
00:01:48,750 --> 00:01:51,332
A grown man should not
be carrying business papers
49
00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:52,624
in a tackle box.
50
00:01:52,625 --> 00:01:54,457
Come on, guys,
have a seat.
51
00:01:54,458 --> 00:01:56,458
We didn't rent these fancy
folding chairs for nothing.
52
00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:00,957
Get ready.
53
00:02:00,958 --> 00:02:03,499
The big award show
is about to begin.
54
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,957
You know what, maybe you should
go put on something nice.
55
00:02:05,958 --> 00:02:07,957
Don't worry,
I'll save you a seat.
56
00:02:07,958 --> 00:02:09,625
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
57
00:02:13,583 --> 00:02:17,374
♪ Sometimes it feels like
things are outta control ♪
58
00:02:17,375 --> 00:02:20,999
♪ Like you're living in
a circus ♪
59
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:24,707
♪ Tryin' to figure out
your way in the world ♪
60
00:02:24,708 --> 00:02:27,374
♪ Where you're at
is kinda perfect ♪
61
00:02:27,375 --> 00:02:29,374
♪ So turn it up,
turn it up ♪
62
00:02:29,375 --> 00:02:31,290
{\an8}♪ Do your thing,
don't stop ♪
63
00:02:31,291 --> 00:02:34,415
{\an8}♪ Let the games begin,
let's jump right in ♪
64
00:02:34,416 --> 00:02:37,457
♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪
65
00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:39,707
♪ In the middle
of the party ♪
66
00:02:39,708 --> 00:02:41,499
♪ We're just
getting started ♪
67
00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:44,707
♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪
68
00:02:44,708 --> 00:02:48,707
♪ In the eye of the tornado,
rowin' in the same boat ♪
69
00:02:48,708 --> 00:02:52,457
♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪
70
00:02:52,458 --> 00:02:55,707
♪ Get stuck in
the middle with you ♪
71
00:02:55,708 --> 00:02:58,082
♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪
72
00:02:58,083 --> 00:02:59,249
{\an8}Disney Stuck
IN THE MIDDLe
73
00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:01,250
5th Annual
Diaz Awards
74
00:03:02,875 --> 00:03:06,082
{\an8}I want to thank everyone
for coming out tonight.
75
00:03:06,083 --> 00:03:08,332
{\an8}Especially Dad,
who sacrificed
76
00:03:08,333 --> 00:03:10,332
{\an8}his hour in the bathroom
to be here.
77
00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:11,332
{\an8}- (laughter)
- (cymbal crash)
78
00:03:11,333 --> 00:03:11,957
{\an8}ESPECIALLY DAD WHO SACRIFICED
HIS HOUR IN THE BATH Room
79
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:12,749
{\an8}AND THAT'SOUR SHOW. THANKS,
FOLKS!
80
00:03:12,750 --> 00:03:15,415
{\an8}And that's our show,
folks, thank you.
81
00:03:15,416 --> 00:03:17,457
{\an8}GEORGIE: What?!
82
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:18,875
{\an8}Beast, wrong card.
83
00:03:22,875 --> 00:03:26,582
{\an8}( orchestral wrap-up music
plays )
84
00:03:26,583 --> 00:03:28,082
{\an8}You changed?
85
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,874
{\an8}It's awards night,
so I have to go full throttle.
86
00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:32,582
{\an8}I have a lot of dresses,
87
00:03:32,583 --> 00:03:35,374
{\an8}and glamour only comes to
this house once a year.
88
00:03:35,375 --> 00:03:38,124
{\an8}Let's start the awards off
with a bang.
89
00:03:38,125 --> 00:03:42,458
{\an8}Best wipeout, also known as,
times my heart stopped.
90
00:03:43,458 --> 00:03:45,582
And the nominees are:
91
00:03:45,583 --> 00:03:49,124
Daphne for zippety
laundry joy ride.
92
00:03:49,125 --> 00:03:50,124
Yeah!
93
00:03:50,125 --> 00:03:50,874
THE 5th Annual
Diaz Awards
94
00:03:50,875 --> 00:03:51,624
Can I help?
95
00:03:51,625 --> 00:03:54,582
Yes. Just stand there
and don't bug me.
96
00:03:54,583 --> 00:03:56,707
She left us alone.
97
00:03:56,708 --> 00:03:59,291
This is really
more on her.
98
00:04:00,583 --> 00:04:01,999
DAPHNE: Wheeee!
99
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,457
(crash)
100
00:04:04,458 --> 00:04:06,457
Are you okay?
101
00:04:06,458 --> 00:04:08,458
Except for the smell.
102
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,458
Georgie for
reeling in a big one.
103
00:04:22,125 --> 00:04:25,165
Harley for bike blowout.
104
00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:27,166
MegaMart
Customer Parking
105
00:04:32,875 --> 00:04:34,875
(yells)
106
00:04:36,416 --> 00:04:38,957
And the Diaz goes to...
107
00:04:38,958 --> 00:04:40,999
- Daphne!
- Thank you.
108
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,999
Thank you guys so much.
Thank you.
109
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,875
( recorded laughter
and cheering )
110
00:04:50,416 --> 00:04:53,165
No one would believe
I would be up here tonight,
111
00:04:53,166 --> 00:04:55,500
except Deathne.
You're my rock, girl.
112
00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:59,833
I can't believe I had to rent
an extra chair for her.
113
00:05:02,708 --> 00:05:06,207
In a big family,
sometimes, you just
need to be someone else.
114
00:05:06,208 --> 00:05:08,749
This is the award
for the best Diaz
115
00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:10,874
in the role of
a non-Diaz.
116
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,416
The nominees are:
117
00:05:13,708 --> 00:05:17,374
Daphne in the role
of little lady.
118
00:05:17,375 --> 00:05:19,375
TOM'S BAIT
BITE
119
00:05:19,833 --> 00:05:22,582
Excuse me,
my esteemed siblings.
120
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:25,083
May I have a large
Kendrick Lamarmalade, please?
121
00:05:27,458 --> 00:05:28,707
What is she wearing?
122
00:05:28,708 --> 00:05:30,207
What is she saying?
123
00:05:30,208 --> 00:05:31,874
The last time I heard her
say please was,
124
00:05:31,875 --> 00:05:33,624
"Please let me
pull your scab off."
125
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:35,874
I said no,
she did it anyway.
126
00:05:35,875 --> 00:05:37,832
And may I say, Harley,
127
00:05:37,833 --> 00:05:40,499
that outfit is so cu-ute.
128
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:41,875
Thanks!
129
00:05:44,958 --> 00:05:46,624
Thank you for my beverage.
130
00:05:46,625 --> 00:05:48,082
It's most refreshing.
131
00:05:48,083 --> 00:05:50,083
Get out of here,
you're freaking us out.
132
00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:53,082
Ethan, Lewie and Beast,
133
00:05:53,083 --> 00:05:55,125
in the role of
the Buenos Diaz trio.
134
00:05:56,208 --> 00:05:58,624
When they brought up
the idea of a boy band,
135
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,165
I was skeptical.
136
00:06:00,166 --> 00:06:02,582
But every musician
has to start somewhere,
137
00:06:02,583 --> 00:06:04,582
and it looks like
I'm starting with
138
00:06:04,583 --> 00:06:05,874
Buenos Three-az.
139
00:06:05,875 --> 00:06:07,582
Five, six, seven, eight--
140
00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:09,499
Wait. I missed
one through four.
141
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:12,582
I have a feeling that's not
gonna matter. Hit it.
142
00:06:12,583 --> 00:06:14,707
♪ ♪
143
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,707
{\an8}BUENOS THREE - AZ
144
00:06:16,708 --> 00:06:18,707
{\an8}BUENOS YOU AND ME - AZ
145
00:06:18,708 --> 00:06:20,707
{\an8}DO A SPELLING BEE - AZ
146
00:06:20,708 --> 00:06:23,708
{\an8}A - B - C - DIAZ
147
00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:26,749
Who needs guitar rock
148
00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:29,458
when you can do...
whatever the heck that was?
149
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:32,125
Harley in the role of Ellie.
150
00:06:33,583 --> 00:06:36,999
Ah, yes, bird calls.
The calls that come from birds.
151
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,874
Seagull, seagull.
152
00:06:38,875 --> 00:06:40,582
Crow, crow.
153
00:06:40,583 --> 00:06:42,624
Uh, cardinal.
154
00:06:42,625 --> 00:06:45,708
I find it hard to believe that
those are actual bird calls.
155
00:06:51,458 --> 00:06:52,832
- Hey.
- That's a pigeon.
156
00:06:52,833 --> 00:06:54,458
I'm only giving you
half credit.
157
00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:58,290
And the Diaz goes to...
158
00:06:58,291 --> 00:07:00,999
- Buenos Three-az!
- Yes!
159
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,833
I knew it!
160
00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:08,165
I was just thinking.
161
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,874
You've never won
Diaz of the year.
It's weird.
162
00:07:10,875 --> 00:07:12,332
Huh. Never
thought about it.
163
00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:14,165
Well, I sure have.
164
00:07:14,166 --> 00:07:17,082
I mean, who does more amazing
stuff for this family than you?
165
00:07:17,083 --> 00:07:19,832
Middle kid. Kind of get used
to not being noticed.
166
00:07:19,833 --> 00:07:21,874
You never get used to it.
167
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:25,999
It hurts every time,
but I don't wanna be all,
168
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,332
"Wah, I do good stuff,
and nobody gives me awards."
169
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:31,165
People wanna vote
for a winner, not a whiner.
170
00:07:31,166 --> 00:07:33,290
And that's what
I'm going to be.
171
00:07:33,291 --> 00:07:34,999
A winner.
172
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,290
Don't worry.
I think this is your year.
173
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:39,624
I voted for you
for best dance.
174
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:42,290
It's up next.
Good luck.
175
00:07:42,291 --> 00:07:44,582
Have you seen the key
from Ethan's magic kit?
176
00:07:44,583 --> 00:07:46,249
No. Those keys were
the only thing
177
00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:48,582
he could make disappear.
178
00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:50,707
Dance.
179
00:07:50,708 --> 00:07:53,249
You need rhythm, footwork,
and coordination.
180
00:07:53,250 --> 00:07:55,374
Also, the things you need
to cross the living room
181
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,874
- without breaking your ankle.
- (rim shot, cymbal crash)
182
00:07:57,875 --> 00:07:59,707
And the nominees are:
183
00:07:59,708 --> 00:08:03,000
Me and Ethan for
the electric Easter slide.
184
00:08:05,708 --> 00:08:07,290
This is so easy.
185
00:08:07,291 --> 00:08:09,707
Don't get too cocky.
There's a spin coming up.
186
00:08:09,708 --> 00:08:12,708
♪ ♪
187
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,832
Oh, we're nailin' this.
188
00:08:21,833 --> 00:08:23,332
Hey, do you think
there's a lot of work
189
00:08:23,333 --> 00:08:26,082
for father-son
electric slide duos?
190
00:08:26,083 --> 00:08:28,582
There will be, son.
191
00:08:28,583 --> 00:08:30,708
There will be.
And...
192
00:08:34,708 --> 00:08:36,708
Harley, for Harley
after dark.
193
00:08:39,583 --> 00:08:40,374
HARLEY
AFTER DARK
194
00:08:40,375 --> 00:08:46,207
MAN:Stay tuned for hour six
of the dance all-nighter.
195
00:08:46,208 --> 00:08:48,250
Ooh, I'm all about that.
196
00:08:58,833 --> 00:09:01,208
And Georgie for
thequinceañera dance.
197
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:06,000
♪ ♪
198
00:09:17,125 --> 00:09:19,166
And the Diaz goes to...
199
00:09:20,833 --> 00:09:23,249
Georgie!
200
00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:25,207
I won!
201
00:09:25,208 --> 00:09:26,832
Can you hold this
for me?
202
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:28,708
Actually, can you
just come with?
203
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,749
Thank you, guys.
204
00:09:35,750 --> 00:09:37,957
I will cherish this award
for the rest of my life.
205
00:09:37,958 --> 00:09:39,749
That being said,
I'd gladly trade it
206
00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:42,165
for the keys to
these handcuffs.
207
00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:44,415
(applause)
208
00:09:44,416 --> 00:09:47,457
I still haven't won
any awards.
209
00:09:47,458 --> 00:09:50,332
I'm going to have to play
catch-up if this is my year.
210
00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:52,999
But there's still
plenty of trophies to hand out.
211
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,249
There's no reason
I can't turn this around.
212
00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:57,165
Photos!
213
00:09:57,166 --> 00:09:58,750
Harley, could ya...
214
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,333
I just want
shots of winners.
215
00:10:05,125 --> 00:10:06,375
Lower.
216
00:10:12,958 --> 00:10:15,165
HARLEY:And now, back to
the fifth annual Diaz awards.
217
00:10:15,166 --> 00:10:17,874
Thanks for voting me
least involved Diaz.
218
00:10:17,875 --> 00:10:20,166
It takes a lot more effort
than you think.
219
00:10:21,958 --> 00:10:23,957
If you're keeping score
at home,
220
00:10:23,958 --> 00:10:26,165
you and I have the same
exact number of awards.
221
00:10:26,166 --> 00:10:27,999
Zero!
222
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,082
I mean, if I want a shot at
being Diaz of the year,
223
00:10:30,083 --> 00:10:32,124
I've gotta start
bringing home some bling.
224
00:10:32,125 --> 00:10:34,374
Now you all like to complain
about my cooking.
225
00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:37,999
But let's look back on
the best worst recipe
226
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,999
you guys made this year.
227
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:43,124
And the nominees are...
228
00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:47,083
Rachel, Lewie and Beast,
for surf and flurf casserole.
229
00:10:48,458 --> 00:10:50,499
I took a classic,
and kicked it up a notch.
230
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:53,832
Tuna casserole with
layers of marshmallow fluff.
231
00:10:53,833 --> 00:10:55,874
I call it surf and flurf.
232
00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:58,374
They say no one
should eat alone.
233
00:10:58,375 --> 00:11:01,208
- It almost looks
too good to eat.
- Same time then?
234
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,499
I'm out!
235
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:12,249
There's no way I'm eating
the flurf and barf.
236
00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:16,124
Do I criticize
your cooking?
(scoffs)
237
00:11:16,125 --> 00:11:18,165
See, it's not so easy
putting a meal on
the table every night.
238
00:11:18,166 --> 00:11:21,249
You're right. Even cooking
gross food is hard work.
239
00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:23,249
At least yours
is sorta edible.
240
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:26,249
We promise not to complain
from now on about dinner.
241
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:28,207
Everything else
is still fair game.
242
00:11:28,208 --> 00:11:30,125
Are you gonna
finish that?
243
00:11:32,208 --> 00:11:34,124
Ethan, for very well done
strawberry pie.
244
00:11:34,125 --> 00:11:35,957
And let's be clear.
245
00:11:35,958 --> 00:11:37,874
We don't mean
that it was done well.
246
00:11:37,875 --> 00:11:39,415
(laughter)
247
00:11:39,416 --> 00:11:41,415
So you want in on
my strawberry pie, huh?
248
00:11:41,416 --> 00:11:43,250
I guess I can
share the glory.
249
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:51,375
I'm sure it tastes
better than it looks.
250
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,290
And Georgie for...
251
00:11:55,291 --> 00:11:57,124
la-sagna.
252
00:11:57,125 --> 00:11:59,124
As a guest of honor,
253
00:11:59,125 --> 00:12:01,125
you get the biggest pieces
of la-sagna.
254
00:12:03,291 --> 00:12:04,832
This is really spicy.
255
00:12:04,833 --> 00:12:06,457
I don't know why.
256
00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:09,124
I just added a little salt
and oregan... oh, my goodness!
257
00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:11,249
Georgie, did you
put something in here?
258
00:12:11,250 --> 00:12:14,000
Just a half cup of
our Latino heritage.
259
00:12:17,458 --> 00:12:18,958
Oh, what the heck?
260
00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:24,290
The scorpion peppers?!
261
00:12:24,291 --> 00:12:26,582
I just wanted to make sure
Laurie liked it.
262
00:12:26,583 --> 00:12:29,374
I can't get it off!
263
00:12:29,375 --> 00:12:32,582
And the... I guess
you can call it winner, is...
264
00:12:32,583 --> 00:12:35,500
Rachel, Lewie and Beast,
for surf and flurf.
265
00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:39,625
BEAST: Thank you, everyone.
266
00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:45,333
Thank you
once more!
267
00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:49,207
Next up, the category
so good,
268
00:12:49,208 --> 00:12:50,874
we don't mind
ratting ourselves out.
269
00:12:50,875 --> 00:12:53,499
The award for the best thing
Mom and Dad didn't see.
270
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,999
And the nominees are:
271
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,415
all of us for plan to pay
the cabana bill.
272
00:12:58,416 --> 00:13:00,999
We have to figure out
a way to pay this cabana bill,
273
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,207
or we'll never go
on vacation again.
274
00:13:03,208 --> 00:13:04,582
Beast and I know how
to get the money.
275
00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:06,833
Finally, someone
with a plan.
276
00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:09,999
I don't know
if you noticed,
277
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,999
but there is a giant
pirate chest in the park.
278
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,249
No one's even guarding it.
279
00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:17,374
Yeah.
280
00:13:17,375 --> 00:13:19,415
That's fake, dummies!
281
00:13:19,416 --> 00:13:21,165
Aw!
282
00:13:21,166 --> 00:13:23,124
There goes our plan
to buy a ping-pong table,
283
00:13:23,125 --> 00:13:24,582
and an island.
284
00:13:24,583 --> 00:13:27,166
Harley and Rachel for
living room snowstorm.
285
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:33,416
(shrieking)
286
00:13:44,083 --> 00:13:45,375
What is the...
287
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:51,458
How great is this?
288
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,416
Looks like somebody got
a visit from the eyebrow fairy.
289
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,249
Ironic. She's making
an angel.
290
00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:03,249
And Harley for hiding
an exchange student
291
00:14:03,250 --> 00:14:05,165
in our house.
292
00:14:05,166 --> 00:14:07,374
Lights out, boys.
293
00:14:07,375 --> 00:14:08,458
Sabers too.
294
00:14:10,333 --> 00:14:11,958
Quickly. Dive and divert.
295
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,374
What's going on down there?
296
00:14:16,375 --> 00:14:18,165
Nothing. Just relaxing
on the couch
297
00:14:18,166 --> 00:14:20,582
like a normal girl who
didn't just meet her soulmate.
298
00:14:20,583 --> 00:14:23,083
(yawns)
Okay, sounds good.
Don't stay up too late.
299
00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:27,333
I'd like to speak
to the manager.
300
00:14:29,083 --> 00:14:31,624
And the Diaz goes to...
301
00:14:31,625 --> 00:14:33,875
me for hiding
an exchange student!
302
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,249
- Congratulations, honey.
- Does that mean I'm not--
303
00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:39,875
No, you're still punished.
304
00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:44,457
At least I'm on the board.
305
00:14:44,458 --> 00:14:46,290
♪ You witness the struggle ♪
306
00:14:46,291 --> 00:14:47,999
♪ And you see the light
at the end of the tunnel ♪
307
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,249
♪ You know
you gotta fight... ♪
308
00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:52,165
And the Diaz
for biggest blecchhh
309
00:14:52,166 --> 00:14:55,290
goes to... Harley,
310
00:14:55,291 --> 00:14:56,999
for toilet tango!
311
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,749
♪ ♪
312
00:14:59,750 --> 00:15:01,749
And the Diaz for
best manipulation
313
00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:03,999
of Lewie and Beast
goes to...
314
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,457
Harley, for turning them
into slush jockeys.
315
00:15:07,458 --> 00:15:10,458
♪ ♪
316
00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:22,582
The Diaz for
biggest oops goes to...
317
00:15:22,583 --> 00:15:23,207
Harley.
318
00:15:23,208 --> 00:15:24,207
GOOD
TIMES
319
00:15:24,208 --> 00:15:26,000
GYM - MAZING
320
00:15:26,583 --> 00:15:30,625
♪ ♪
321
00:15:37,625 --> 00:15:40,165
Wow, what a comeback.
322
00:15:40,166 --> 00:15:42,332
You're in the lead by two
with only two categories left.
323
00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:43,999
You could finally win
Diaz of the year.
324
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,165
Really?
I wasn't keeping score.
325
00:15:46,166 --> 00:15:47,624
Good luck.
326
00:15:47,625 --> 00:15:49,416
I gotta go
make a call.
327
00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:58,165
Oh, put that dance away.
328
00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,624
This isn't over yet.
329
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:02,000
We can still
kick your butt.
330
00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:06,624
Can you lower
your butt?
331
00:16:06,625 --> 00:16:08,250
I can't get my leg
that high in these pants.
332
00:16:10,375 --> 00:16:12,499
I'd like to thank
Marshport Quick Lock
333
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,207
for their super fast
service call.
334
00:16:14,208 --> 00:16:15,874
Marshport Quick Lock,
now the official sponsor
335
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,624
of the Diaz awards.
336
00:16:17,625 --> 00:16:21,124
And the award for
best performance
337
00:16:21,125 --> 00:16:23,207
in an Ethan Diaz film
goes to...
338
00:16:23,208 --> 00:16:25,625
Lewie and Beast
as Detectives Peeby and Jay!
339
00:16:29,083 --> 00:16:30,707
How could you
steal my lady?
340
00:16:30,708 --> 00:16:32,457
Gloria was
everything to me.
341
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:34,707
You've got a lot of
nerve, buddy boy.
342
00:16:34,708 --> 00:16:35,874
This ain't
the time, Peeby.
343
00:16:35,875 --> 00:16:36,624
01:08:24:15
HD1080i
344
00:16:36,625 --> 00:16:37,707
We've got
a villain on the loose,
345
00:16:37,708 --> 00:16:39,582
and Gloria
is my lady now.
346
00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:41,707
We can do this
two ways.
347
00:16:41,708 --> 00:16:43,500
Creamy or crunchy.
348
00:16:45,291 --> 00:16:46,624
Weren't you wearing
a purple--
349
00:16:46,625 --> 00:16:48,707
Oh, that dress was
so two trophies ago, Tom.
350
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:50,749
Still Dad.
351
00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:53,582
And now,
tonight's final category.
352
00:16:53,583 --> 00:16:56,332
Most memorable costume.
353
00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:58,457
And the nominees are:
354
00:16:58,458 --> 00:17:01,083
Harley, for
pretty pink princess.
355
00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:10,250
You look like you just
fell out of a unicorn's butt.
356
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,458
Lewie and Beast,
for pudding bath gentlemen.
357
00:17:18,458 --> 00:17:20,374
More cream,
my good man?
358
00:17:20,375 --> 00:17:21,708
Don't mind if I do.
359
00:17:28,291 --> 00:17:30,750
And Georgie,
for patriotic parade girl.
360
00:17:32,625 --> 00:17:33,624
{\an8}MARSHPORT'S
TRICENTENNIAL PARADE
361
00:17:33,625 --> 00:17:34,707
Step, one, two.
Step.
362
00:17:34,708 --> 00:17:37,250
Yes! I did it!
363
00:17:43,708 --> 00:17:45,707
Wrong turn.
My bad.
364
00:17:45,708 --> 00:17:47,707
Go back!
Go back!
365
00:17:47,708 --> 00:17:48,874
THE 5th
Annual Diaz
366
00:17:48,875 --> 00:17:50,374
And the Diaz goes to...
367
00:17:50,375 --> 00:17:53,165
Say Harley.
Please say Harley.
368
00:17:53,166 --> 00:17:55,874
- Lewie and Beast!
- BOTH: Yes!
369
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:57,583
No!
370
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,290
SUZY: Well, this has never
happened before.
371
00:18:06,291 --> 00:18:08,624
- We have a tie.
- What happens now?
372
00:18:08,625 --> 00:18:11,457
Guess we'll have to
figure out a tiebreaker.
373
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,457
All right,
but if we're gonna wrestle,
374
00:18:13,458 --> 00:18:14,833
these pants
are coming off.
375
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,874
So we're stuck in a tie.
376
00:18:19,875 --> 00:18:22,874
We consulted the official rules
and found out there were none.
377
00:18:22,875 --> 00:18:25,582
So we're deciding this like
we did every other award.
378
00:18:25,583 --> 00:18:27,582
Vote.
379
00:18:27,583 --> 00:18:32,207
Diaz of the year--
Lewie and Beast, or me.
380
00:18:32,208 --> 00:18:35,457
The voting was very close,
and if you ask us,
381
00:18:35,458 --> 00:18:37,832
all of our kids
deserve this award.
382
00:18:37,833 --> 00:18:39,499
But...
383
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:42,957
the Diaz of the year
goes to...
384
00:18:42,958 --> 00:18:45,166
BOTH: Lewie and Beast!
385
00:18:51,375 --> 00:18:53,582
♪ Mm-hmm, mm-hmm ♪
386
00:18:53,583 --> 00:18:55,457
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
387
00:18:55,458 --> 00:18:58,707
Congratulations, guys.
388
00:18:58,708 --> 00:19:01,415
Another year of me being
the odd Diaz out.
389
00:19:01,416 --> 00:19:03,957
Which is quite a feat,
390
00:19:03,958 --> 00:19:06,374
considering how odd
all of us are.
391
00:19:06,375 --> 00:19:08,290
I guess winning that cup
392
00:19:08,291 --> 00:19:10,582
will have to stay
in my fantasies.
393
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:13,875
If only those could be
a part of the awards.
394
00:19:15,708 --> 00:19:18,874
Our next award is for those
special moments in your head.
395
00:19:18,875 --> 00:19:21,249
The nominees for
best fantasy are...
396
00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:22,875
the Diaz superheroes.
397
00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:28,707
DIAZ
398
00:19:28,708 --> 00:19:29,875
Harley in the sweet seat.
399
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,582
And Harley goes sky-diving.
400
00:19:37,583 --> 00:19:41,582
Yay, science! Yeah!
401
00:19:41,583 --> 00:19:45,082
And the winner is...
402
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:47,874
Lewie and Beast?!
Oh, come on!
403
00:19:47,875 --> 00:19:51,875
Wow. I can't win
even in my own fantasy.
404
00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:55,832
Not to be a sore loser,
but I feel like
405
00:19:55,833 --> 00:19:58,415
I do a lot of stuff
for this family.
406
00:19:58,416 --> 00:20:01,375
It would've been nice
to feel like they noticed.
407
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,999
That's the curse
of the middle kid.
408
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,082
I just have to accept
that I don't matter
409
00:20:07,083 --> 00:20:09,332
in this family, Ethan.
410
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:10,832
I'm Wednesday.
411
00:20:10,833 --> 00:20:13,415
Of course you're Wednesday.
412
00:20:13,416 --> 00:20:15,499
The middle of the week.
Everyone knows that.
413
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:17,708
Was that supposed
to be a pep talk?
414
00:20:19,083 --> 00:20:20,957
Guess I'm still Wednesday.
415
00:20:20,958 --> 00:20:22,457
(knocking on door)
416
00:20:22,458 --> 00:20:23,958
(door opens)
417
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:27,082
Hey, what's going on?
418
00:20:27,083 --> 00:20:29,124
You left before
the end of the show.
419
00:20:29,125 --> 00:20:31,874
I saw it.
Lewie and Beast won.
420
00:20:31,875 --> 00:20:35,457
I didn't need to see their
synchronized victory dance.
421
00:20:35,458 --> 00:20:38,624
Yeah, they only won that
because there's another award
422
00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:42,332
that wasn't on the ballot.
Come on.
423
00:20:42,333 --> 00:20:44,375
Let's go.
424
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,999
We, uh, wanted
to give you an award
425
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,707
for all the times
you've helped out this family.
426
00:20:54,708 --> 00:20:56,874
Which, if you've
been keeping track,
427
00:20:56,875 --> 00:20:59,457
- well, you would've
lost count by now.
- (all laughing)
428
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:01,832
Yeah, even today,
you helped zip me
429
00:21:01,833 --> 00:21:04,124
into at least
ten dresses.
430
00:21:04,125 --> 00:21:07,707
But a regular Diaz award
just wasn't enough.
431
00:21:07,708 --> 00:21:10,457
Then, we all had one of those
light-bulb moments you get.
432
00:21:10,458 --> 00:21:12,832
Presenting the trophy
for the MVD,
433
00:21:12,833 --> 00:21:14,625
most valuable Diaz.
434
00:21:16,166 --> 00:21:17,165
{\an8}Harley.
435
00:21:17,166 --> 00:21:18,165
{\an8}M V D
Most Valuable Diaz
HARLEY
436
00:21:18,166 --> 00:21:21,457
Wow! This is amazing!
437
00:21:21,458 --> 00:21:23,957
You guys did this for me?
438
00:21:23,958 --> 00:21:27,165
More like you did
this for us.
439
00:21:27,166 --> 00:21:29,165
♪ ♪
440
00:21:29,166 --> 00:21:31,166
{\an8}DIAZ TIME
441
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,000
I MEANT
NOT
442
00:21:52,208 --> 00:21:53,208
{\an8}TEAM DIAZ
443
00:22:03,208 --> 00:22:06,375
{\an8}I don't know
what to say except...
444
00:22:07,166 --> 00:22:09,165
{\an8}I love it.
445
00:22:09,166 --> 00:22:11,749
{\an8}And I couldn't do
any of it without you.
446
00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:12,750
{\an8}Photos!
447
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:16,999
{\an8}That's the thing
about a big family.
448
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,749
{\an8}Sometimes,
you feel overlooked.
449
00:22:19,750 --> 00:22:21,707
{\an8}ALL: Diaz!
450
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:24,124
{\an8}But sometimes, you're
the one overlooking
451
00:22:24,125 --> 00:22:25,875
{\an8}just how lucky you are.
32697
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