Original subtitles

Captain's log, Stardate 6969 .1. The intercourse is conducting a sensor sweep

the labia quadrant.

Once completed, we will be diverting to Heidi's Pleasure Planet for a long

overdue shore leave.

Captain, the final sensor probe has been completed.

Very good, Deldo.

Set the course for Heidi's Pleasure Planet.

Maximum warp.

Good morning, Captain.

I'm just thinking of that Deltan woman I left behind on my last visit.

Oh, and a bald -headed woman, eh, sir?

Don't rock it until you try it, Will.

You know what they say about the Deltans.

They're ready when you are.

Course laid in, Captain.

Very good.

Engage.

Captain, I'm sensing...

What

happened? Captain, we've come to a dead stop.

It's like someone reached out and grabbed us by the balls.

Captain, just as we were entering warp drive, I felt a presence.

Enough to make me tingle all over.

The shield just snapped on, Captain.

Apparently something heading towards us at multi -warp.

Multi -warp?

Ooh, am I a babe or what?

I could learn to like this new body.

Oh, how nice.

I can see my reflection on his head.

Yes, this one will do quite nicely.

The captain!

He's gone!

Space. The final erotic frontier.

These are the penetrating voyages of the sex ship Pentecost.

Its five -minute mission? To stay erect and pointed toward the stars.

To thrust into the void of unknown pleasures.

To boldly copulate with whatever's out there, like no man has copulated before.

Captain's log supplemental.

My ship is being held by an unknown power, and I've been whisked off the

by a beautiful alien woman.

Four reasons unknown.

Who are you?

Who am I? What is the meaning of this?

I am cute.

Yes, you are, but who are you?

My name is cute.

I come from the cute continuum, and I'm seeking asylum on board your ship.

Why have you taken me off my ship?

Because I want to fuck your brains out.

Is this some kind of an alien attack?

And if so, how much will it cost me?

Only your ship, Captain Jean -Pierre Picard.

Well, you can't have it.

Unless there's something fine in exchange for it, that is.

How about I start by giving you the stamina of a 19 -year -old?

My God!

I have hair!

I have lots of hair!

I have hair on my chest.

I have hair on my ass.

But no man has gone before.

And better yet...

Like a 19 -year -old, I have the stamina like I could fuck anything that moves.

No problem.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, no.

Keep going.

I like that vlog.

Oh

my

god.

Warp speed.

Warp five.

Warp six.

That's a warp.

You

take

a ride on my ship?

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

I'm so good at my hands.

Oh, yes.

Oh, can't you?

Yeah.

Captain's log, supplemental.

As the intercourse searched for me, they uncovered a spatial anomaly.

Commander Dyke instructed Lieutenant Wolfe to beam any lifeforms directly to

bridge.

Captain, you're back.

What are your orders, sir?

Find me some clothes. I'm afraid Wolfe is getting turned on.

It's her.

What? What a babe.

You mean to tell me this space doll took a ride on your baloney pony?

I am cute from the cute continuum. And how dare you refer to our special

exchange in such a crude way. Who are you?

Commander Will Dyker.

Second commander of the Starship Enterprise.

Then you are responsible for taking the captain away from me.

You got it, sis.

Then you have earned my wrath, Earther.

He's gone!

Where am I?

Wait.

I know that sky.

Hey, this is Ivy's pleasure planet.

But where are the babes?

You can't send me to Heidi's Pleasure Planet and not give me a babe.

What kind of diabolical monster are you?

Very well.

I will give you a companion.

Think of one you desire most, and that one will come to you.

Really?

Let's see about that.

Well, how did I get here?

And why am I wearing this nifty outfit?

And why are my panties wet?

Well, just a little fancy about it, that's all.

Oh, well.

Q! You bitch!

What is this all about?

I sensed a deeper fantasy within you, Commander.

I know that you long to see Diana Joy taste the lust of another woman.

Oh, really?

Well, maybe.

Oh, I love to hear my pussy cry.

Oh, it's so sweet.

Oh, yeah.

Such nice pussy.

Oh yeah.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Yes.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

that feels good.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah.

I love you.

I love

you.

No!

Oh. Oh.

Oh, yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, yes.

Thank you.

You can rub.

Oh, my God.

It's hard.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah.

It's so nice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, me.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I do.

Oh, yeah. Oh,

yeah. Here I come.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, they're so good.

Oh, yes.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh,

yes.

Drink up, Lieutenant. I'm closing in 20 minutes.

20 minutes?

Good

evening,

Counselor. How are you? I'm fine.

Counselor! What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be on duty?

I am on duty.

Counselor, control yourself.

You'll have to be back on the bridge in a moment.

But I found myself a horny.

Well, that's... I want you to touch and feel you. Please, someone might see us.

That's okay.

I want you over here.

Um... Oh, yeah.

Well... Feel that.

If you absolutely insist.

Oh, I insist.

Well, then.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes, Wizard.

We'll be doing it.

Beeper.

Beeper. Getting nice and wet.

It looks so good watching her suck your cock.

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to stick a fucking finger in there.

Oh, fuck that finger.

Oh, my hand.

Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck you!

Give it to me. Give it to me.

I'm not going.

Oh, yeah.

I'm fucking hot.

I'm gonna fuck your tongue.

Come on.

I'll be here. I'll be back. Come on.

Come on, I'll tell you. Come on. Fuck your tongue.

I'm not going.

No.

Yes, thank you.

Take a nice little wet little sip.

Oh, yes.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Fuck me harder.

Fuck

you.

Fuck you. Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Yes, I do.

Give it to me.

Give it to me.

You want it? Yeah, I want it.

Take your tongue.

Give it to me. It's mine.

Grab my cock.

Counselor, I've never seen you act like this before.

Really, Counselor?

My word, what's gotten into you?

What's gotten into me?

I've gotten into her.

Whoopi, can I help you?

I was looking for the captain.

The captain and crew has already gone off to sleep. He left me here in charge,

kind of as the automatic pilot.

Is that all you do?

Well, actually, I was a marital aide before I came on board to the

So that means you're fully functional.

Yes.

Hmm.

If you will unzip my uniform, I'll show you.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah.

Oh, my.

Captain's log, Stardate 6969 .6.

The creature calling itself cute is becoming a problem.

She's been using her powers to manipulate my crew members, and even

perfume is driving me crazy.

I'm growing more concerned, Beverly.

In the beginning, it didn't seem to be a big problem.

But as time has gone by, the seriousness of the situation has made itself very

manifest to me. Jean -Pierre, I told you you have to use a conditioner after you

shampoo.

I'm not talking about my hair, Beverly.

I'm talking about the alien presence that's running around on this ship.

She can assume any form.

Why, this morning I took a shit on the toilet bowl and the toilet bowl licked

asshole. It was her.

I would have liked to have seen that.

This cute is pretty clever. She's too clever.

Besides, you never know what she'll show up as next.

What are you going to do, Jean -Pierre?

I have a plan. I've instructed Wolf to locate this cute character and to bring

her to me.

Once she's here, I want you to examine her and to find out what makes her tick.

Then possibly we have a chance at controlling her.

Have you ever thought of maybe sending her flowers?

Or maybe tacos?

You know, men have been controlling women like that for years, Jean -Pierre.

Captain, I regret to report that I was unable to locate this cute woman.

Try looking under the bed, Wolf.

Everywhere, Captain.

I even looked in Counselor Joy's vagina.

But this cute creature was nowhere to be found.

Oh, Nintendo plans.

If we can't find this kid character, we're going to have to have her find us.

How do you propose to do that, Captain?

By having sex, Wolf.

Easy, Wolf, easy. I'm not proposing that you and I have sex together.

But you and I should drill Dr.

Gusher here.

Oh, John Perry still can't.

Yes, I do. I care about my ship and I care about my crew.

And I care about the fact that we need a big finale for the big episode. The

last episode.

The final episode.

By having intercourse on the intercourse, we too can find this cute

Very well, Jean -Pierre.

I am willing to sacrifice my body to Starfleet.

Very good.

Make it so.

I want to be loved by you, by you and your boy, yes, by you.

I want to be loved by you. I love you.

Bravo, bravo.

Now,

Captain, of course you realize that thing on bridges only enter through the

rear.

Very well, Wolf.

You can proceed, since I'll do my knocking at the front door.

Dr.

Gusher, I never realized your...

Rest for so long.

Oh, yeah.

Which one do I want to eat first?

God, boy.

Oh, yes.

Oh.

The end.

We should flip it down a little bit.

Make it south.

Captain's log.

Docking.

You like the captain's log?

How is it with that wolf?

That's what I thought.

Oh, yeah.

Uh -huh.

Yeah,

fuck me.

Come on, Lieutenant, move.

Harder, harder.

You know it's his gun.

Oh, yeah.

Uh -huh.

I think the captain had the honor of trying the visionary position.

This is my number

one position.

I love

you.

Mm -hmm.

Use that ding -a -ling of yours.

And ding -dong her off.

Oh.

Oh, Pam.

Janikasha.

You have no idea what you're sacrificing.

It's all wrong.

You're being like this.

That's right.

Fucker. Fucker good.

Fucker well.

Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Spank him.

Spank him.

Good bad dog.

Not a good bad dog.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Take that, Nick.

Fuck a wolf, you're a warrior.

Fuck like a warrior should.

I don't want to fight my asshole.

Yeah.

Here I come. Here I come. Here I come. Here I come. Here I come.

Here I come.

Woo -hoo!

You've had wildly crazy sex, and this cute character never even showed.

Maybe she's over here.

I demand that you stop playing this game.

You demand?

You cannot demand anything from me. I control your ship.

I control your mind.

And best of all, I control your body.

Red alert.

Red alert.

This is no fun.

Captain Picard to the fridge. Emergency.

Captain Picard here. What is it, Will?

The ship is being pursued by an energy cloud, Captain. It has overtaken us.

I'm on my way.

Is this the cute continuum that you've spoken of?

That's for me to know and you to find out.

Very well.

I will find out.

With or without you.

Stats come in at night.

The energy cloud has overtaken us, Captain. We are dead in space.

The cloud gets off our bow.

Anything to add, Joy? Yes, Captain. I sense the cloud to be intelligent.

Are these your friends, Cute?

They are no friends of mine.

Pure intellect.

No form, no body, no sensation.

And they call themselves superior.

Well, I proved too superior.

I have taken human form, and I'm having more fun than a college co -ed on spring

break. What you're doing is wrong, cute.

No, I can have a little fun.

I am superior.

That does not give you the right to interrupt the life cycles of others.

You toy with them, cutie. You cause them distress.

Your type of fun is too intense for these beings.

And that is why you must return to the continuum.

No, I won't return. I like being human.

I love having supple, shapely breasts with erect nipples.

I love having a quivering wet pussy.

You love it too much, cutie. After all, who do you think you are?

Madonna? Better than Madonna.

I would never go on David Letterman and make an ass out of myself.

It is time to come home, Cute.

Don't make me go.

Captain, they have no penises.

They have no pussies.

They don't even have tongues.

Let Cute stay with us.

So after a time we could train her not to use her powers.

Sorry, Captain.

But every few weeks, it will be her time of the month. And then you'll really be

in deep doo -doo.

No, the only way is for us to take her back.

Come, Pewdie.

It is time to come home.

I want to stay.

I want to stay.

I want to stay.

Computer.

Scan this chip for any alien presence.

There are no alien life forms aboard the intercourse.

Captain, the cute continuum signals that they're leaving, sir.

Well, at least cute left us something to remember her by.

And what would that be, Captain?

Of course, that would have to be my new head of hair.

My hair!

What happened to my hair? It's gone!

Well Captain, easy come, easy go.

Easy come, easy go.