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Someone is sitting here.

All passengers, please get off the bus, the engine went bad.

Episode 1: The Replacement

Kill me now.

Let's go in first, we're late.

I can't even take one more step. Go in without me.

C'mon, I already missed two shuttles because of you and Rama is going to kill me.

Why doesn't anyone answer my letters?

Would you like me to carry your bag? -It's won't help.

I just can't go in to this base and start off another lame week.

Oh stop it, Dafda, It's gonna go by so fast.

We're gonna do some shenanigans, it'll be fun, we'll set a new record in Mine Sweeper.

Excuse me?

This is Shizafon Base, right?

"Shivzaon" (deragatory name for a lame place). - Yeah, this is here.

Oh great, I thought I was at the wrong place, I'm new here. - Poor thing, I'm sorry to hear that.

Please excuse here, she doesn't like Sundays (equivalent to Mondays).

Hold on, what's your name?

Tehila. -And what's your position?

Receptionist. -Where at?

In an office. - They didn't tell you which office?

What is this, an interrogation? I'm going in.

You don't get it? She is my replacement.

Ok.

What time is it? I need to serve coffee to the dickheads.

"Just so you know... there are a lot of fags in this base"

The private says: "Oh really?" The Sergeant says:

"Yeah sure. Would you like me to point them out?"

So the Private answers: "Yeah". The Sergeant responds:

"No problem, but first- I want a kiss."

So I guess we're not getting coffee this morning?

You'll get it, my soldiers are working on it right now.

Excellent, because if you want to command on 100 soldiers.

You better learn how to command 5 of them. - Absolutely - OK.

We're having the multi-branch drill this week so... - Ber, go ahead.

Ok, we'll be in training area Oscar-4, Tarantula location.

Blank only. section 280 closed for the drill.

How exactly did you decide that she is your replacement? - What do you mean? It's clear

My letters finally got to someone who read them and decided to take care of the issue

Hold on, where are you coming from?

From boot camp.

And where did they send you to?

To here.

You see?

This is the office of adjutancy, your new home.

This is your desk, and you can put your bag here.

Oh, here you are. Disobeying soldier. - Don't even ask what happened.

All the officers on base are waiting for me.

They are thirsty and dying to eat something

So I'm not going to ask.

But the bus broke down, I swear

I don't care, as far as I'm concernced aliens could be blocking all the roads in Southern Israel

You need to be here at 0930

It's my fault, she missed two shuttles at Be'er Sheeva Since she was waiting for me.

You don't have to come to base together all the time. You're like glue. We are not in kindergarten. Who's she?

This is Tehila... Ok, it doesn't matter now.

You have two minutes to serve breakfast and clean this afterwards.

What? - Exactly.

Get rid of this stain right away.

You don't have to salute. Boot camp is over.

That bitch! Why is she yelling at me?

And I'm supposed to clean her uniform? What am I, her slave?

Don't worry about it, Ignore her, We'll make her coffee and she'll calm down.

Coffee? She can take hike, that bitch, she can go fuck

Along with all the officers in her ass.

Rama, our Lieutenant, she is... A little uptight.

She's retarded.

Come.

"Soon enough, you'll talk to me again..."

"Any my body will feel your warmth"

"And your breathing..."

This is the sitting sketch of all the officers so You'd know what coffee to serve to which office

Get it? It's really simple.

Hey Anati. - Anat.

You don't remember me?

Well, you probably don't recognize me withouth the tears, huh?

Dafi, from adjutancy. - Oh right, without the hoodie also.

Look, they got me a replacement and I'm moving to the Kiryat (A base in Central Israel).

Oh really? - Yeah. That's great.

Good luck. Thanks.

"Wounds and kisses,"

"All the lies and all the silence"

"Come back like gamblers with their deck of cards"

"And shiny shoes"

"singing..."

Shut up!

Adjutancy.

Yeah. Just a sec. Is this Meirav?

Hi Tzrifin (base in Central Israel).

Ok, there are a lot of forms here.

Vacation form, transfer form. - Ok, bye.

No, no, no, these are personal file. What are you looking for?

Oh, right. Anyways...

This is all the Adjutancy stuff.

Girls, this is my replacement. Tehila

Replacement? What replacement?

I'm Moving to the Kirya. No kidding!

How did that happen?

Jealous ,huh?

Anyway, Tehile these are your co-workers.

This is Liat, she's Rama's secretary, and this is Livnat

I'm the HR NCO, not a receptionist.

Wow, you really have no idea of what we are doing here

Well, it's not like we actually do anything here.

You'd be surprised, we work really hard. maybe if you come to the office sometimes, you'll see.

Dafi, if you put your bag on my desk one more time,

I'm going to shove it up your ass. - Stop it, let's not get started with this again

Like, this desk is for both of us

Not for both of us. Just mine. Rama said so.

This is Irena, she came here from ordnance corps. she's also new here.

New my ass, I've been here two months already.

Poor girl, she's overwhelmed. Two years sounds a lot but time goes by really fast.

Yeah it does.

Hi girls!

What have you been up to?

In this drawer there are staplers, pins, thumbtacks, separators, straight blades, envelope opener,

markes, pencil sharpeners, glue, pen fillins, staple pins... Stop, your'e giving me a headache.

Staple gun, the most expensive item in the office.

This thing is deadly.

Nothing works against the big posters, Not the thumbtacks, not the scotch tape.

There are only two of them, they are marked and we hide them here.

Even if god forbid you become a POW and they torture you, you can't tell anyone, got it?

Boaz? - Yeah - You got a minute?

For you, even 60 seconds.

I wanted to update you that I applied to become a Captain.

I understand that there is only one more opening and I need a recommendation from you.

It's not for a while, right?

Yes, but I rather take care of it ahead of time.

Do you know how many candidates are? - It's me, and three other officers from the division.

Excellent. Competition is a good thing You have plenty of time to impress us.

Also, there is going to be an inspection soon, correct? - Yes.

Well, it is a great chance to earn some points.

Absolutely. I'll do the best I can. - I'm sure.

Girls, are you on vacation?

What do you mean by "moving to the Kirya"?

It's exactly what it is. nothing more.

Don't you talk back to me. I don't have neither the time or patience for this.

We're not supposed to get new non-combatants till the end of the month.

No, Rama, it's all good everything is organized I...

It's just that I've been in touch with some official in the Kirya

Contact?

I've been sending letters.

A lot of letters.

To who? - To the mental health officer, to the head of personal affairs, to the general staff

To the chief of staff advisor for women relations, and frankly to the Chieff of Staff himself.

What?

Right, Zohar? We ended up sending him the letter.

To the Chief of Staff. - Yeah - Yeah, I think so.

You sent a letter to the Chief of Staff?

What did you write him?

That you are a spoiled secretary that the Army invented a position that doesn't exist for her?

Paper and shredding NCO, because she doesn't know how to type or transfer a phone call?

That you want to transfer to the Kirya because the desert makes your hair dry?

Well, obviously, we wrote it a little differently.

This is kind of authority bypassing is unheard of. - I don't believe that the Chieff of Staff took care of it by himself.

I suppose he probably forwarded it to a personal affairs officer or something like it.

I can't believe this disgrace.

Everything is so organized with the combatants soldiers

And the non-combatants are being thrown around like garbage.

And stop moving binders around here! Close the door!

You will wait for me to make time for it. Did it appear to you that I have other things to do?

You don't have to do anything, I'll take care of it all.

You became rude.

You were a good girl before you started admiring Zohar.

Why am I always to blame?

You, are you trying me? - No/

it is 0107 and I still didn't get the mail.

It's been on your desk for an hour.

0000.

What about the uniform? did you get rid of the stain? I'm working on it.

Excellent. Continue

Is that what you do every day?

I personally rather not shred two and a half pages every day.

Once every... I shred a bunch of papers. But act as you see it fitting.

In general, as a Paper and Shredding NCO the position is a lot what you make out of it.

Sorry.

These girls, they really think highly of themselves. The base commander's receptionists are really stuck up.

what is MABAS?

That's the base commander.

Don't worry, you'll understand everything and know everyone. -Do you know all the soldiers on base?

Everyone? No way, do you have any idea how many soldiers are stationed here?

How many? - There are...

A lot! You're so funny...

No we can rest a little bit, basically you can take a nap every day.

But you know, don't tell anyone about it.

I can't believe that you are leaving, it's a disaster.

it's alright, you're gonna have some peace of mind. You won't have to listen to my cry all day.

Yeah right, with these two idiots who sing duets.

Here is Guy Shefi.

He just looked at you.

Really? - Yeah, go talk to him.

Are you crazy? What am I going to say?

I don't know. Say "Hi".

Look, his friends are also cute.

If we'll be a couple, I'll introduce you to them.

Let's start with actually talking to him. - I will if you stay.

What does it have to do with anything?

We'll talk all day over the phone.

You'll come visit me, we'll drink ice coffee at Azrieli. We'll chat over the phone.

The phone? Can you save seats on the bus with the telephone?

Set new high scores on all the computers in the office?

You are not going to like it over there.

You won't have anyone to talk to. Won't have anyone to eat with.

Ladies and gentlemen, after impressive game by the Spanish champion,

Will the Israeli competitor manage to overcome her?

Here she goes and starts to mark the monitor fiercely.

They're telling me that she went through rigorous training in the IDF! and now...

Woo ho! I broke a record! - No way, ,move I feel like I'm on a roll.

Zohar Ben Ari approaching the mission... - Didn't you have enough of this nonsense?

Rama?

In regards to Tehila, I fully trained her today.

So you can go ahead ant test her, and if everything is alright...

So I would be actually leaving tomorrow.

Come to my office first thing tomorrow morning and we'll take care of this.

Do you think it's funny?

You told me to get rid of the stain.

I did.

This is joke just cost you denial of vacation.

Forgive her. I will thread it, it'll be unnoticeable, I promise.

You need to worry about the trash cans.

They are flooded with papers,

You're not going anywhere before you shred all of this, get it?

Damn in. I think it's Shapiro, that son of a bitch.

Just a second!

Just a second!

Eitan.

What are you doing here?

I'm stationed here.

What? how can it be? - Can I come in?

Listen, girls are not allowed here. the Disciplinary Senior NCO is going around the barracks.

Hold on, Hold on, Listen It doesn't work now. Let's talk tomorrow.

You have no idea how worried I was. Why didn't you call or answer my texts?

Because I told you, I'm very busy now. - What's the matter, you didn't have fun at the Kineret?

No, it was... very fun.

I can't stop thinking about what we did over there In the water, inside the tent...

Okay, but it was... it was during the summer, also...

We met only...

8 times. We slept together for five nights,

Not including the night in the Kineret that I don't count since we didn't go to sleep.

And then we said we're going to meet during Rosh Ha'shana and I made you a surprise and all of a sudden you didn't answer me.

Listen, you really have to leave. - You have to see the surprise.

No no it's not right, okay?

I didn't get back to you because I'm really busy and also because...

I have never loved someone like this. You have no idea how you stole my heart.

Okay, but... It's over. I'm not interested.

How come?

I don't know... It's just not it.

So why did you text me that you think about me a lot?

I don't remember.

For 4 months all I've been thinking about is you. Nothing else,

Just Eitan, Eitan, Eitan...

Wait, you didn't... You didn't actually enlist, right?

How did you get in here?

I had to see you. I couldn't take it anymore.

Aren't you the new soldier from Adjutancy?

No she's not a soldier, she's a psycho that I met once and...

And we met a few times and that's it, nothing happened. - Nothing?

Do you know what he told me?

And then when I found your home number, your mom picked up and said that you are in

And a minute later she said you're not home.

Did you tell your mom to lie to me?

You have no idea what you're getting yourself in. Impersonating a soldier is a felony.

If we report you, you're going to get arrested. Right, Anati?

Don't you remember that in the Kineret you tole me... - Enough with the fucking Kineret, it was a long time ago!

It was a while ago! I also have a girlfriend now.

Do me a favor, pull it together

and leave this base before you get caught.

The same way you got in, leave. - Where did you get a uniform and a unit badge?

This is unreal.

Listen, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't answer your texts. Ok? Sorry.

Would you like me to walk you outside and we'll talk a little bit?

Ok that's it.

If you don't leave right away, I'm going to call CID.

Not a problem. Do you really want to ruin your life?

You already ruined my life.

Tehila is everything alright?

Yes.

Ok, we are in the barracks. If you need anything, just say.

*singing in Hebrew*

Eating from the floor? Disgusting. *singing in Hebrew*

Eating from the floor? Disgusting.

I'm telling you, Zohar, nothing disgusts her. That's the way it is at the kibbutz, huh?

Yep. And how is it over at the ghetto? Watch it!

Don't worry about her, ignore her. Yeah, ignore her.

Dafi, Dafi.

Do you really think he looked at me today?

I'm worried about Tehila. How long does it someone to take a shit?

She's probably constipated. Like you were when you first got here.

Can you shut up already? I'm trying to go to sleep.

Who, them or us? - Both.

Both (mocking).

Livnat...

Fuck.

Shit.

Yes?

I'm coming.

We don't have to wait to the CID investigation

To know this was a disaster.

It's not enough that a soldier in our unit committed suicide,

She wasn't even a soldier.

She was an impostor.

5 HR NCOS are sitting in one office and no one even thought of it.

She didn't have a military ID card, no dog tag. She did have them, Rama.

I heard that she stole a drill instructors' bag in the bathroom in Beer Sheeva.

But if a soldier is coming and no one reported him and he is not on any lists,

You need to report to me immediately!

You said that you don't have time for it.

Come again?

That's what you told Dafi, that you don't havetime for this nonsense.

You have a bad attitude, you know?

Yeah, you've already told me like 700 times.

I'm not supposed to privately take care of every soldier that arrives to this base.

You know why? Because it's not my job.

I'm supposed to oversee you job, not do it myself.

If one of you would have bothered to call and find out, or tell me there is a problem

She would have saved her life.

And your ass.

My ass? - Yeah. what's the deal here with blaming only us?

You're the office here. Be accountable for this.

I will be accountable for this.

For the fact that my soldiers have the worst attitudes. I will be accountable for this.

For the fact that my soldiers have the worst attitudes.

I swear, Zohar, I will make a human being out of you. You won't go on vacation on my shift.

You're getting denied of vacation. - You already did that.

So another one. Would you like to get another one?

It's already 3. How about you learn how to count?

You're right. I'm wrong. Make it 4 vacations. Shall I carry on?

Rama.

Le'ts go over the details again.

She arrived with Dafi yesterday morning at 10:00 AM.

Let's continue this conversation in the conference room, ok?

I'm going to kill myself as well. That's the only way people will pay attentione to me here.

If you kill yourself they will pay attention to you, but you won't be able to enjoy it because you'll be dead.

Have you thought about it? - I don't care!

I'm going to kill myself and you need to report that I threatened doing so.

Kill yourself first, then we'll report it.

You don't belive me? We do.

Why not? We wanna see it.

I'll drink some white-out. It says "Danger, not for consumption".

Well, now it's empty. But just wait until we get supplies.

You'll regret that you didn't believe me. - I have some, here you go.

What else are you hiding there in that drawer?

All this was waiting for you in the registration office, postman NCO.

Thanks. - Do you know how they call the adjutancy in this base?

"Shambles".

That's how they always call the adjutancy, in every base. - Not yo my adjutancy, not over my dead body!

Paper and shredding NCO, do you think that in between all your writing and complaining to the Chief of Staff

You'll find some time to do your job?

We thought that we don't recycle anymore. - So we threw everything together.

Can you shred this as well please?

What's this?

You never sent my letters?

Dafi...- I can't believe you've been lying to me all this time.

I wasn't lying. - Yes you did, and you pretended to help me. - Hey!

I worked really hard on these letters! - But you never sent them.

You didn't send them!

I just saved you the humiliation,

They would probably end up in the trash or...

Or even worse, on some wall as a joke.

Do you think that my biggest dream is a joke? - Your biggest dream is a little lame, don't you thing?

I mean... to make coffee in the Kirya instead of here. At least here you have me.

Do you think that you can find a good friend like me anywhere?

I hope that I'll never find a friend like you again.

Yeah, I have no idea where you'll find someone that will wait an hour and a half for you in Beer Sheeva.

So you won't enter the base by yourself?

So are you doing me a favor?

Ok, I'm sorry!

I was pissed off the Army for no reason. You are the one that doesn't give a damn about me and the reason I'm still here

You know what? Go ahead and send your whiny letters, you naive baby.

Let's see who will actually care?

Maybe the Chief of Staff...

Explain to me what is so appealing for you in the Kirya?

At the end of boot camp, they let me choose 3 bases

that I'd like to be stationed it, by priority.

So I put down: Kirya, Kirya, Kiryat. - I got it, but why?

Usually, whoever wants to server there is because he wants to stay close to his home.

But you are from Haifa.

But I'll live in Tel Aviv and I'll have a real life.

You know that the Kirya is a commuter base.

A soldier that doesn't live in Central Israel, The IDF needs to organize a place to live in,

give him a fraction of the rent, it's not simple.

But I can't stay here any longer Anati. - Anat.

Fill out the reasons for the transfer request and put it in my mailbox.

I'll try to forward the request but it'll take some time.

I also hated my old base but I didn't act like it was such a tragedy.

So how did you leave?

I left for Officer Training.

Thanks.

Is everything alright?

"*singing in Hebrew...*"

You start and I'll jump in.

*singing in Hebrew...*"

adjutancy.

Yes.

Hi, can I please get a transfer form?

Hi, what...

Transfer form. I'm in the adjutancy, aren't I?

What, are you leaving?

Can you give it back to to Dafi? I forgot to give it back to her.

So do you have one? What?

Transfer form. Yeah. She Has it. - Ok, thanks.

I'm not kidding, Rama.

Are you able to repeat it?

I said I want... Louder. - To think bigger,

Think about what I can give, not about what I can take.

I would like to be an offier like Rama.

I am honored to have such a role model.

Very impressive.

And it's important to me to say, that Rama isn't to blame for... the incident.

It was us the receptionists that made the mistake. Myself.

It seems like there are plenty of mistakes here.

But whoever was found guilty was the front gate guard who let in a civilian with a fake military ID card.

Oh, ok.

Anyways, it wasn't Rama.

Boaz, are you with me? I'm still on the line.

Anything else?

Yeah Shakedi, I'm here. - Are you sitting down? I'm about to tell you something insane. Listen

Wow Dafi, you really put it together huh? Who's next? Liati, right?

God forbid. We don't say that, Rama.

You also want to go to officer training?

Ok, is everyone here?

I'm very proud in our Dafi,

That came here 6 months ago... 7.5 months ago.

And she had a lot of difficulties, as we all know, but...

She decided to become a solider with high motivation, and push off any bad influences.

And here it is, she is going to be an officer representing the state of Israel.

Cheers. Hold on, I'm not done yet.

I ask that we don't only consider it a personal case for Dafi

Each and everyone of us can reflect about this case,

There is a starting point

And afterwards...

The sky is the limit.

Cheers. I would also like to say thanks.

To Rama, that gave me a chance and wrote me a great recommendation...

Cheers. yeah cheers.

Just don't get drunk...

Yeah right, you can totally get drunk off of... grape juice.

I'll be in my room.

What about her dream about being a receptionist in the Kirya? It's going to come true.

I'll be an officer in the Kirya.

How do you know where you'll be placed?

Do you know Guy Shefi, the officer?

So he is transferring there, and he's going to retract me to his department.

Say, don't you think it's hilarious that the most spoiled soldier

that has to take a nap, that won't touch anything,

That shower with a bathing suite, that has allergies and medical releases to every single grain of sand in this desert

Is going to be an officer in the IDF?

So what are you going to be? I'll be the head officer of a Lieutenant Colonel's office.

Wow. That is is so good.

Zohar, did you drink all the wine?

The Kirya Cake.

This is Azrieli Mall, above Ayalon South interchange, Where will you be?

It's grape juice!

Are you crying?

No, I just hate throwing up.

That's the only thing stopping me from being anorexic bulimic like you.

Here, drink.

Of all the guys on base, you have to choose him?

Just a coincidence,

He's leaving anyways.

I was just saving you the humiliation.

Episode 02. The Virgin.

C'mon, Irena, when?

At age 14. Oh, it's not that bad.

I thought it was a lot earlier. With who?

Some guy. He was my neighbor.

I was 17, on July 17. Such a nice date.

I had it in the summer between 10th and 11th grade In summer camp. With one of the camp counselors.

Zohar, what about yourself?

Zohar. - What? - What do you mean "what"?

I didn't hear what you guys were talking about. Yeah right.

Greetings. - I'm not checking, nagger. You were here just yesterday.

Can you check? - Not now, Ok? Go see her.

Oh c'mon, check for me. It'll only take a second. When am I getting discharged?

Dude, I'm the postman NCO.

If you want, get in an envelope and I'll mail you to your mom.

Ok, Ok, come here for a sec. Yogev...

Interesting. They say that all the action is at the kibbutz.

So go there, on your way to Russia, tell them that you came to volunteer.

It is possible that I'm the only virgin in Southern Israel.

I'm the only virgin in my kibbutz, that's for sure.

All the ugly and hideous girls have already done. besides of me.

Stop counting us all the time! - Quite.

We are not going to multiply.

Ne'ama.

It's also clear that I'm the only virgin in this base.

It's true that everyone is a slut here. but I dont want to feel that different.

Liat.

Zohar.

God, please make me normal.

I don't want to die a virgin.

I mean, I don't want to die in general, but...

Not as a virgin for sure.

Girls, let's pay attention.

I know it's tough and hot and you're tired, but it's important to pay close attention.

Shira isn't feeling well, she's going to pass out.

Yeah, Rama, I'm going to pass out.

So Shira can go sit in the shade.

Can I go with her to the shade, in case she would need help?

No! If she needs help. she'll tell us.

Now after we took care of all the patients, I have something to say.

Hilit and me went through officer training together.

Instructional base #12, respect. and power.

We went through a lot together and she's like my twin sister.

Here you go, Hilit.

What am I supposed to do when I see a suspect approaching base?

Like... someone with a fake military ID card?

No, a real suspect. What should I do?

Shout?

When I'm on guarding duty at the front gate and the security of the base is my responsibility

And I see a suspect approaching,

And all I have at my dispense are my awareness, my efficiency,

My responsibility for the base security, and my M-16 rifle.

What should I do? Shoot?

Just like that? Shoot?

What if I kill an innocent person?

Exactly for this kind of situation, there is the suspect handling procedure.

A suspect approaches the front entrance, I first shout: "Stop!"

Repeat after me,

Stop!

He didn't stop. I shout: "Stop and identify yourself!"

"Stop and identify yourself!"

He didn't stop.

I shout: "Stop or I'll shoot!"

Stop or I'll shoot! Didn't stop.

Now, pay attention. I cock the weapon for intimidation purposes.

Didn't stop. I fire in the air. Didn't stop. I shoot towards his legs.

But... - Let me finish, I'll allow questions in the end.

But what if he does stop?

No, seriously. What if he does stop?

If he does stop, call me.

Now Zohar, because you always ask all these questions.

You'll have the honor to cover first guard shift.

At least you're going to be first at something.

What did you say?

Ok, girls. Let's continue.

Answer me, bitch. Did you say: "At least be first in something?"

Calm down. I said: "Not a very good twin sister".

Girls! Let's continue.

Would you like some advice? - No.

Some free advice. I don't want it.

You need a man. - Oh. That's the advice.

You need to get laid and the sooner the better.

"You need to get laid and the sooner the better."

You are quite the romantic poet.

If you want romance, you need to pop your cherry first.

Nobody will want you like that.

An uptight virgin with spider webs over her pussy.

Wow, you are disgusting.

How does a girl with so many facial creams is so disgusting on the outside?

You better listen to me. Find a man, now.

The first one you see, have sex with him as soon as possible before it's too late.

Ok, Irena, maybe in Russia a woman needs a man to justify her existence.

Drop these old sayings. You are in the Western world.

Idiot.

Look at the world map.

I used to live in the West. Now I'm here.

Gil Mesika and Liran Stoler, you are in the front entrance.

Rotem Ganon, and Nimrod Cohen, you are in the open.

Shir Ben Ezra and Adi Bracha, you are the patrol.

Gal Mizrahi and Shuki Solomon, you're in the guard tower.

Oleg Kovalski and Ran Saporta, you are in the rear entrance.

So who's left? - Just me.

Zohar. Right.

You are guarding the weaponry.

What...by myself? I don't have a partner?

The weaponry is a one man guarding position because it's inside the base.

You need to stand here and one an hour walk around the building.

You are not allowed to sit or use your phone.

So what, I'm supposed to stand here for 4 hours without doing anything?

You asked for equal right. Here it is.

And where are you going to be?

Where am I going to be when? - Meanwhile when I'm on guarding duty.

Asleep.

You're probably going to be in all kind of girls' dreams.

What? - Do you have a girlfriend?

Ok, have a good one. Bye.

I asked, do you have a girlfriend?

Boyfriend.

If something happens, call the officer on duty.

Don't worry, nothing's going to happen.

Nothing will happen because this is my luck...

I wish that some guy would come, doesn't have to be a stud, but...

Ok, not a catch. Mediocre. Average.

Someone that would want me.

Who is it?

Stop or I'll shoot.

What is it, omg, put the weapon down! - Who are you?

Meyer. I'm looking for the kiosk.

You're not from here?

No, I'm from Maglan. We are training here.

Can you stand in the light for a second?

You guys are serious around here, huh?

Yeah, sorry.

I'm Zohar. Hi. - Hi Zohar. Nice to meet you.

So where is the kiosk?

I would have shown you but... I can't leave the position.

No problem, just tell me how to get there.

Hold on, how long are you guys staying here? - Until...

The day after tomorrow?

So... If you'd like.. maybe...

Tomorrow evening I can show you where it is exactly and...

other places on base. If you'd like.

Ok, cool. - So tomorrow at...

10 PM? Does it work for you? Ok, cool. - So tomorrow at...

10 PM? Does it work for you?

Yeah. Yeah, it works for me. - Great, we're on.

But can you still tell me where is the kiosk?

The guys are waiting for their smokes and...

Yeah, it's right here. You walk down this path for a couple of meters. The red door.

Oh. Thanks.

So tomorrow? - 10 PM at the kiosk.

Oh my god.

Oh come one! help me up, will you?

I'm not dead yet.

Give her a hand.

Where am I supposed to sleep now, on the floor?

You can sleep on the empty bed.

Oh, now it's called the "empty bed".

That girl slit her veins and peeled all her skin of her body

And you expect me to sleep in her bed?

Quite girls, I'm trying to sleep.

Sorry for interrupting you! I almost died!

Why just almost?

I'm not going to sleep in her bed. I'm sorry, this is where I draw the line.

They changed the mattress, Zohar. It's not that bad.

You go ahead and sleep there if it's not that bad.

*Singing in Hebrew*

I'll sleep on her bed, alright? Get in my bed and be quiet.

Coward. Paranoid virgin.

What does it have to do with anything?

Well done, Irene. Really nice of you. - Take notes of this.

It smells weird here. - Good night.

Smells like...

a Russian sausage.

You would have died for a long sausage in that bed.

There is no such thing as ghosts, Liati.

So not a ghost. Maybe... a demon that's possessing her.

There aren't any ghosts or demons or little gnomes that do our work at night.

Look at her. She's acting so strange.

I'm the officer in the adjutancy inspection.

What am I going to pick?

August 03', headquarters, let's take a look.

What do I have here? August 24 logistics report.

It says here that soldier...

Och..Ochi...

Ochperkovich. - Ochperkovich Tomer didn't attend logistics on this date

Because of vacation. That's what it says.

Now soldier, please show me supporting documentation for it.

Human Resources inspection is like the crucible for combatants. It's the biggest test for adjutancy.

Every attribute on every soldier at every date needs to be coordinated and documented.

Vacations, ranks, court marshals, absenteeism, transfer forms, everything!

It's enough to have one mistake in order to fail.

And the inspection is random.

Random is incidental.

Do you understand what that means? What does it mean?

That we could use a little luck?

That we need to go through every binder, every page, check and update

Because whoever counts on luck, Zohar, We already saw what happens to him.

Well, Rama, we would never be able to update everything here. Do you realize the mess in this office?

According to my calculations, if we get into a rhythm,

We would be able to go through everything until Thursday,

And also get 4 hours of sleep a night.

It's in our hands and we will not just pass this inspection, we will pass it with flying colors.

Let's go girls, let's have some fun.

Now I understand that there is some sort of issue of a ghost that possesses Irena.

Irena, is that true? Irena?

Irena, you just have to put the pages into the plastic covers, ok?

It says that Shimi Samouha wasn't here for like a week.

It doesn't say here why, nothing.

Here, send him to vacation.

Fuck, it's not ending!

You see how fast time flies?

Job well done with that ghost, really.

Who would have thought that you'll be so brilliant? with the idea and the acting.

I really think something happened to her.

Rama? Yeah.

Irena is not doing well at all. I think I should take her to the infirmary.

To the infirmary? What exactly are they going to do? Summon ghosts?

It's better if a professional gets to see her,

That we don't get another...

Tehila incident.

Ok, go and return ASAP.

Every minute that you are not here is less sleep for the other girls.

Sure.

Irena, well done.

You do realize that we just escaped hell

And the devil himself opened the gate for us.

Aren't we going to the infirmary? - Are you crazy? Let's go to the barracks.

But you told Rama that I need to go to the infirmary.

Go to the infirmary if you want. I just have to go.

I had that neighbor in Oropinsk that got stabbed

and I saw his hand coming out of the drawer.

Irena, enough with this creepy thing. You're starting to scare me.

Why are you putting on make up?

Remember you told me I had to lose my virginity ASAP?

No.

You did and you were right. That's exactly what I'm going to do.

Can I come with you?

What? No!

Why don't you go to your friends room? - I don't have any friends.

Why don't you go and read a Russian book?

You said you'll take me to the infirmary.

So go to the infirmary, psycho.

Be thankful that I got you out of the office and stop following me.

Please don't leave me alone.

But I'm going to attend some private business. You know.

Come on Irena.

I found a cute guy and he's also into me.

He's not from here and he is leaving tomorrow. I found a cute guy and he's also into me.

He's not from here and he is leaving tomorrow.

I won't be in the way.

How so? It's a date!

If you don't let me come along, I'll tell Rama that we didn't go to the infirmary.

I see that the "ghost" didn't change your lousy attitude.

You are going to be like air, got it? Air!

You're early.

So are you.

I like it.

I like you as well.

This is Irena, she'll sit with us due to personal reason, but she won't be in the way.

Awesome. Hi, Irena. Hello.

Boot camp was horrible. The worst five months I've ever had.

They kicked our ass. Treated us like in holocaust.

Like in the holocaust? - Irena, what did we talk about?

You know, it means that it was really bad.

I don't think you can use this expression as you wish. - Irena!

But it's true. The Drill Instructors were actually Nazi.

Huh. and what did they do?

First, they killed 6 million of us.

We left on vacations via trains only.

Irena, I'm kidding. Loosen up, smile a little.

What...

What... How long have you been in the unit?

Around 11 months. - Cool. And the commanders are not Nazis over there?

No way. They are great.

But never mind, these jokes offend Irena.

How the hell does this offend Irena? What does it have to do with her? The Russians weren't even in the Holocaust.

Ok. I'm going to bring some drinks. What are you having?

Diet Coke. - Diet Coke for the lady, and for you?

Nothing. - Diet Coke and nothing coming your way.

What's you deal? We agreed that you're going to be like air.

I didn't order anything.

Can you just go back to the barracks? Can't you see we are starting to connect?

Vacation, huh? She was enslaving us just until now.

Hey, do you mind switching tables? It's just that someone is already sitting here.

Who? - Who? - Now you are also talking in two voices? Someone!

So it's not enough that we do you work,

Now we also need to eat standing up like horses while you are sitting on your ass?

Eat in the barracks, blood suckers! - We feel like sitting here.

But I'm telling you that I'm in the middle of something and this seat is taken!

No worries. I'll get another chair.

Hi!

What's up? My sister...

Listen. You have 9 cans here. Let's see you knock

them out all in once...

Get away from me, maniac!

You were gone for a while.

Like anybody even noticed.

I did. - You. It's because of you all the idiots went over to our table.

They saw you.

Turns out I'm the air in this date.

Damn it, no privacy around here.

Where should we go? - You tell me.

Everything alright? - Yeah.

All this time in the infirmary? Where?

The infirmary, yeah. -Welcome back.

We're almost done with the soldiers, tomorrow we will finish the commanders.

What could be really helpful is that you guys clean up this mess.

Ok. So I'm just going to bring the broom. -The broom is here.

So I'll...

I'll get some rags from the other office. We'll clean thoroughly here.

Hold on. Just a sec.

Can you be a little more gentle?

What? - More gentle.

I'm just...not used to it.

You want it to be gentle? Yeah.

A little.

You want it to be gentle, go look for a non-combatant.

I'm coming from training, sweetie.

Hold on, hold on.

What happened, sweetie? I thought you want it.

Hold on...No...Wait...

Hold on...No, stop.

Stop!

Stop or I'll shoot.

Put down the gun!

You, dress up.

Not you!

What do you think you're doing? Huh?

What do you thing you're doing to this girl? What makes you

think that you can stick your ugly duck to wherever you feel like?

It's a lady in front of you, not a garbage can.

I'm sorry. - I'm sorry for interrupting you.

Come. -Where?

Over there!

Pick up your stuff.

Walk!

Stop!

See that trash can?

Fuck it.

What? - Fuck the trash can.

Now! Wasn't I clear? What...

What do you mean by fuck the trash can?

Whatever you were doing to Zohar before, do it to the trash can. - But...

What? You can't all of a sudden?

You're insane.

What were you thinking, that you can bang whoever you want to?

Get me the clothes.

Leave and don't come back.

I need my rifle back. - I can't give it back to you.

Irena, give him back his rifle. What are you doing?

He's going to kill us.

Give me back my rifle and I won't do anything to you, I swear.

They will put my in military prison.

Haven't I gone through enough?

Thanks.

Rama! - No more Rama. You're done.

Just so you know, I almost got raped and killed.

Why can't I believe to any word coming out of your mouth?

Ask Irena if you don't believe me.

I have no idea what she's talking about.

Irena! You were just pointing an M-16 rifle to a soldier, about to kill him!

What the hell are you talking about?

You are no longer possessed! That's what happened! Rama, listen.

Tehila's ghost possessed Irena while she was sleeping in her bed.

And then she sent Irena to avenge all the assholes that hurt her and...

And now Tehila's ghost left Irena's body

And that's the reason Irena doesn't recall any of it!

I called the infirmary and asked to check if you were there. Guess what?

Right, we weren't in the infirmary, but it has nothing to do with it.

What would you do if you were me?

What? I'm asking you.

What would you do?

In regards to what? In regards to you!

What would you do if you were me?

I can't imagine a situation like that.

Go to the barracks. Good night.

Your friends are working their butts off and me too. We are giving everything to this office.

And how does it look like?

Looks disgusting.

When I'm back in the morning,

I don't want to know where I am, because it's going to be spotless.

Organized, tidy, without this dust and these extra papers all over the place.

A new office!

But it's going to take me the whole night.

Why won't we all do this together, in the morning?

What wasn't clear in my orders?

I don't understand why are you calling me out and giving me the most brutal punishments

I'm doing this for you.

Because one day you'll wake up and realize that you spend two years in the IDF and didn't do anything.

Didn't leave your mark.

While there are soldiers that sacrifice their lives.

So here it is, your chance to contribute a little to the Army.

Careful. It's still wet here.

Where are all the pages?

You told me to shred all the extra papers.

Those in the bins. Not the ones we need.

We don't need so much paper, It's just making our life complicated.

So where are old the records?

In your office.

Rama?

Rama?

Episode 03: The Commander

Officer Training School

1. Assault 2. Stun 3. Elbow 4. Knee, knee, knee.

Knee, good. Now switch.

Let's go, Let's go!

68, two...

69, training is almost over, Up!

Yelena, you're not trying! 70!

Up! I can do this all day. 71, I have time.

Up! 90 degree knees, 72!

How do you expect to get "attention" if you can't do sit ups?

76! Faster! Up!

77!

You'll never finish training like that, Dafi. 87!

Up! Look at you. 88, Disgrace!

Up!

Responsibility! Question:

What is so unique about accomplishing the goal?

Yeah. Equality. Good. Moving on.

Hi, this is Zohar. Don't leave me voicemails because I can't hear them.

So get lost. Bye.

The soldiers on training, in order to calculate who is going to ask for sick days and when...

Adjutancy.

Hi, may I speak to Zohar?

Who is this, Dafi? - Yeah. Can I speak to Zohar?

Zohar is in prison.

What? Why?

She shred the entire office.

Why are you whispering? I can't hear you.

Because Rama doesn't want us to talk about this.

Anyways, Zohar got 3 months of prison time.

3 Months?

I was just planning on moving up the ranks in the Army. I mean, go far and...

I know it was pretty bad after we failed the inspection,

But look how the office has progressed since then. Greatly.

Look, we don't have the quota to promote you.

What, but... Why isn't there a quota?

There was only one quota for non-combatants and the Education office got it.

Rama, It's ok. You are getting discharged.

Is it because I'm a woman?

The education officer is also a woman.

Yeah, I...

Rama, you have been outstanding and no one can't take it away from you.

Don't think that I overlook the fact that you are talented and dedicated.

But upon looking on other aspects, personal communication and the ability to command efficiently

Are also very important for a military career.

To Rama and Liat- Good luck in your future endeavors.

Thanks, Boaz.

Damn, Shira left, now you.

Namonet is leaving soon as well. It'll be just me very soon.

Guys, today we are saying goodbye to an officer that gave a 110 percent of herself,

So hand of applause to Rama.

Rama, good luck with the civilian life.

I also prepared something.

Frantz Kafka once said: "The chains that cuff humanity

Are made of office paper".

And really, after we lost all the records, I was lost.

But in the past few weeks, we started the digital records restoration,

broke loose from the papers and I'm proud to announce that we are most advanced

and eco friendly in the IDF.

And big thanks to Zachi, The great computer systems officer,

That worked day and night.

Cheers. -Hold on.

I would like to end on a personal note...

Excuse me, Boaz?

Ofer is waiting in the office. He says it's urgent. The region just got hot.

Ok, get the operations officer and the company officer for an evaluation. Nir, come.

Rama, good luck with you civilian life.

Thanks, Boaz.

Good luck. -Thanks.

You can go ahead and eat from the pie if you'd like. My mom made it.

Thanks, Zachi.

Ok...

Ok, good luck... I'll be in the office for now.

Good luck, Rama.

First Lieutenant Dafna Tazfrir!

First Lieutenant Shira Pinchas!

First in class, Tama Lahav...

Dafi, the commanders are proud of you.

I'm speaking on behalf of all of us.

You arrived here as a soldier that didn't believe in herself.

You came a long way of empowering yourself and now there is an office sitting in front of us

a success.

You are going from here to additional training and this is your placement.

Good luck.

No, it can't be. It's a mistake.

For sure. I'm supposed to be placed in the Kirya.

I'm supposed to be placed in the Kirya, It's... It's all been taken care of.

No. No. It's not a mistake. It's correct.

Dafi?

We've been all so impressed by your motivation.

You remember that we are here to serve the military. Right?

For six months I've been suffering in this training

And what helped me make it the belief and I will be placed in the Kirya.

Ok, this is too much. There is a war going out there. Pull yourself together.

War? I'm just a non-combatant officer!

What? Our soldiers are getting killed and here you are crying over your placement.

Come on, Dafi, let's not be disgraceful.

In regards to the medical aspect. Evacuation is based on two ambulances and a Ze'ev.

This week we are expecting a heat load of 3, we are supplying a water tank of course.

We need to pay attention that everyone drinks, because last week 3 trainees were evacuated.

It was a long hour until that wretched doctor found them. One is still in the hospital.

And listen, I don't want to have anymore incidents.

Ok, did the maintenance officer update you?

Ok. Pay attention to the next move. - Zohar... -Quiet

What about that coffee? All the officers are waiting.

Hold on...

I'm going to break a record.

Let's not be disgraceful. There is a war going out there and you are playing computer games?

What do you want? I'm sweeping mines over here!

It's really dangerous.

The crowd is on its feet.

All the Mine Sweeper champions...

And she is clearing her targets with no fear...

Who's the boss? Me! Alright, shut up, shut up, shut up.

Thanks, god! I broke a world record!

You really have an attitude.

This talk sounds familiar.

Is that what they teach you at officer training? Respect.

You will get up right now and take the trays from me.

I can't get up. We are in the middle of a bet.

Excuse me?

We are having a bet who can last the longest without getting off their chair.

With all do respect, I have no intention of losing to this "green" soldiers.

Zohar, I already prepared everything, just serve this please.

Give me a push, come on!

Zohar, stop it.

Zohar, you will get off the chair right now.

But this is a start-up. Finally, they won't check out our asses.

Zohar Ben Ari, you just got denied of your vacation.

I understand that you want to act like a commander

Because you are upset that you got screwed and have to stay here for double the time, but...

I'm sorry. I'm going to have fun here and not suffer.

My time is valuable.

Even if I can't wait for it to be over.

So take it down a notch with this "denial of vacation" thing.

Are you trying me?

Don't see her like that. Poor thing, she is ill.

She has the First Lieutenant illness.

But it will go away, right Dafi?

Ok, well it seems you are enjoying each others company.

So from now on, every punishment Zohar will get would carry on to all of you.

Is it clear? You have 10 seconds to get in formation.

Formation? There are only four of us. -Let's go.

For welcoming the officer, the office' soldiers will stand in attention.

Attention.

What are you? A Drill Instructor?

Give me a hundred sit ups. Yeah, right!

Ok , like I said before, the punishment carries on to all of you and...

Now you need to give me a hundred sit ups.

Quickly, before it's gonna go up to 200.

One, two, two...

Have you lost your mind?

I'm your officer now. Get it already.

I'm an officer now.

" I will appreciate if you consider my difficulties of being in a desert

that triggers my allergic reactions.

I'm under close observation by orthopedists and surgeons

And so I would be able to contribute more if I am stationed in the Kirya rather than Shizafon Base.

It's important for me..."

You are so mean.

Zohar, look at me.

Commander.

You can't make me look at you.

Especially not while I'm eating.

Don't you have a little respect for our past friendship?

Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

A true friendship is to be stick together. Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

A true friendship is that you care about somone, with no regards to his location. Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

And you only care about yourself. Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Stop playing, we're having a conversation. Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

I can't stop playing, dear, Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Because I'm about to set another record. Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

I'm going to delete them. All these games. Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Delete? You don't even know where "Enter" is. Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

You barely even know how to turn it on. Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Here it is. Pretty simply. Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Don't Touch it. - Move, Zohar, you're in the way. Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

I'm just reminding you that mine and yours highest score in Average Mine Sweeper is on this computer. Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

I don't care about this high scores anymore. Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

These high scores are the best achievements you will ever have. Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here.

Don't move.

Cut the bullshit.

The next one will go in between your eyes.

Zohar, Stop, you're insane.

Get off the computer. - No.

Dafi, I'm warning you.

Dafi! Don't you touch my computer!

Dafi!

Don't you touch my computer!

Did something happen in your office?

It's really private.

I'm talking about the server rack.

The what? - The system main server, did anyone touch it?

Because I'm missing some information.

It's Zachi from computing. Can you please open up?

I need your statement for the incident. What exactly happened there?

We had...

An argument.

I meant to delete all the games from the computers, but accidentally

I clicked on the... - She's lying.

It was me that deleted a bunch of things to piss her off.

Wait, so it wasn't you? - No, no, it was actually me.

She tried to stop me, but she was late.

Aren't you the one that shred the entire adjutancy record once?

Yes. But there is no connection between the incidents.

Really. Back then I was following my ideology and now...

It was a mistake.

Do you know that what you did is unrecoverable?

All our work went down the drain, three months worth of work

That doesn't have any written backup because, Thanks to you, there is no paper trail!

Zachi, calm down.

I will not calm down.

You shouldn't have. They are now going to go after you.

I doubt it.

It's no ok. I'll tell them I am to blame.

Don't worry about it, you're an officer now.

You need to hold yourself to higher standards.

So, how was officer training?

A nightmare. How was prison?

Not bad. It was actually alright.

Anything is better than the kibbutz.

Please come.

Not every orchestra is the right fit for a trumpeter.

There is a trumpeter that's good for the philharmonic orchestra, another one is good for the local orchestra.

The challenge is to find the right fit.

Along this corner. You see? All across the corner.

Well, what did you get?

He said I'm not suitable for an operational position and he's demoting me to a position with less responsibility.

Really. Where?

In the Kirya.

I'm moving to the Kirya.

Very soon it became clear that that only thing Dafi didn't delete from the computers were the games.

I'd decided to stop looking for guys, quit Mine Sweeper

And devote my life to "Freecell".

She's been like that all day.

They left me to rest in the infirmary. And time flew by quickly.

There is no more such thing as a postman NCO. Everything is via emails now. Discharged!

I sent you a letter over a week ago.

I asked to move to another office because it smells like whitewash, the window is facing east and I'm allergic to the sun.

So is it being considered?

It's good. Add "Thanks for considering it".

Shit.