Original subtitles

Where the hell are you?

I am going to beat your little ass

if you don't get out here!

I've gone over this for two days.

I don't remember anything.

Mommy? Mommy?

Mommy?

Look what I got for you.

Shit...

Go away.

Go away.

GO AWAY!!!

Can you tell me about Jeremy Dorian?

Where did you two meet?

I don't want to talk about Jeremy.

Why are you guys doing this to me?

Why am I still here?

Is he your boyfriend?

Again, my name is Dr. Carter Moore.

You waived your right to an attorney,

and I'm just here to speak with you.

I honestly don't remember anything.

That's alright. Let's just start at the beginning.

Jeremy?

Thank you.

Awe, you shouldn't have. Come on in.

So how long have you worked here?

About three years. Keeps me out of trouble.

Trouble? What kind of trouble?

Thank you for the flowers by the way.

A gentleman always brings flowers on a first date. Oh wait, sorry.

It's not a date. It's coffee.

I'm not used to guys being so nice to me.

Oh, come on. That is hard to believe.

No ones ever got me flowers before.

Well, I did.

You did...

Oh my god...

Why am I so nervous?

I guess I don't get out much.

That's impossible.

You're beautiful.

Thank you.

You are shaking.

Why?

Can I kiss you?

I wanna feel you inside me.

Okay.

Shhhhh...

Not now.

Not now. Please stop.

Not right now.

(woman's voice) I thought you would never come.

I'm so pleased you did.

I didn't know you wanted me to.

It took some homework trying to find you.

Caleb. My boy.

My baby boy.

Caleb. Look at you!

You have grown to be such a big boy.

Why do you cover up your hair like that?

You have such a nice head of hair.

Mom...

Just like me.

Not like your father.

Like me.

Caleb...

My boy Caleb...

Where have you been? Huh?

You left me mom.

Gave me up.

I'm here now.

You've come home.

Cay?

Cay?

Caleb?

Cay, you awake?

There's something I wanna tell you.

(Caleb) And I woke up, he was gone.

How did that make you feel?

Abandoned. Alone.

How would that make you feel?

I've listened to everything

everyone has said. I just want to go home

Caleb... You can't go home.

We need to find out what happened.

I don't know where the blood came from.

Can I help you?

How are you?

What can I get you?

Ahhh... Cappuccino. No Whip.

So how are you?

What's that?

How are you?

Busy.

It's good to see you.

What else can I get you?

Did I do something wrong?

Yeah. As a matter of fact, you did. You left.

No note. No phone number. Nothing.

That was three days ago.

I'm sorry.

That's why I'm here.

Caleb. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to make you this upset.

I knew I'd see you again.

Yeah, well I didn't.

Have dinner with me.

Okay.

But let me make this better.

Please...

This has got to be the best Chinese food I've ever had.

Yeah.

I thought sitting by the fireplace would be kinda romantic.

I really love your place.

Thanks. So do I.

It was left to me when my mom died.

I'm sorry to hear that.

How'd she die?

Leukemia.

She wasn't my real mom. I just call her that 'cause

she's the closest thing.

I don't know my real dad either.

I was adopted.

Spent most of my childhood in foster care.

You know, in and out, in and out.

I guess you could say I was a little troubled one.

And then I met this older couple.

Karen and Bill. Gave me a stable home.

They knew I was gay from the beginning. No problem with it.

They were really cool.

Long story short: Karen caught Bill cheating and she kicked him out.

So, shortly thereafter she was diagnosed with Leukemia.

And two days before my 17th birthday, she died.

They let me back here when I was 18.

By leaving me this place, she made sure I

would always have a home.

You, mister, are very brave.

I think that all that stuff you've gone through,

has made you into the man you are today.

I guess.

Why are you so nice to me?

Because I like you.

You're sweet. You're open.

You're honest.

I never met anybody like you before.

I never told anyone that stuff before.

Well, I'm glad you did.

Now, are you ready for desert?

Hell, yeah!

Scoop! Not that much! Pick that up!

Damn. Alright, that's good, that's good. I can't eat all that.

What are you talking about? You can eat all that.

Alright, a little more.

Oh yeah... More?

No, I'm going over here.

So what is with all these horses?

Childhood fantasy. I love horses.

This one...

I've had since I was...

4, I think.

It's my favorite.

I've been collecting

since...my entire life.

My one constant.

I used to...hide.

Hide in my closet.

And sit with this one, and hope and pray that one day he would

come to life, right, and just

take me away from all the hell that I was living.

You ever ride one?

A few times. In Vermont.

Well, we should go.

To Vermont?

No, nimrod! Horseback riding.

You'd do that with me?

Yeah...

You do realize this is disgusting, don't you?

Oh come on, leave poor Hermie alone.

You know, there is only one thing I hate in this world,

and it is nasty, hairy spiders.

Oh come on, he's only a little bit poisonous. Don't tap the glass!

I mean, couldn't you settle for like a dog, or a cat?

No. I don't like yappy little Paris Hilton dogs

and lord knows, I ain't into pussy!

What does one do with a spider anyway?

I mean you can't take him out and play with him?

Sure you can. I take him out all the time.

Let him roam all over me.

Remind me not to be here when you do that.

AHHHHHH!

Oh fuck! You ass!

You sure you don't wanna hold him?

No! I would shit myself. Twice.

Come on you big baby, let's go.

Don't tap the glass!

I could stay like this forever.

Me, too.

Tell me something about you that nobody else knows.

I take Lipitor.

I already knew you were old.

No, seriously...

I wanna know everything about you.

Okay...

I'm a recovering addict and alcoholic.

I've been sober for 15 years.

No shit...

I call it a gift that my alcoholic mother never got.

She's not alive?

No.

She died when I was 23.

From drinking?

Yeah...

She was in rehab, and then she went to a halfway house.

She wanted out. She came to live with me.

I couldn't take it anymore.

What happened?

They found her body submerged in the bathtub after the whole house flooded.

And for the longest time I didn't know

if she drowned or...

drank herself to death.

I'm so sorry.

You know, that didn't even stop me?

I kept using for years and...

I just finally got sick and tired of being

sick and tired.

So there ya go! There's one of my big secrets.

Wow...

I wasn't expecting that one.

So you haven't drank or smoked weed

or done anything in 15 years? Not even a little bit?

Nope.

I call that grace.

I never thought of it like that.

That you can do anything you set your heart to.

Man, I can't believe this is real.

Well, why don't you pinch me and find out?

You're such a nerd! Shut it!

He was like my knight in shinning armor. I never met someone who

really listens to me the way he does.

It sounds like you're quite enamored with Jeremy.

Where is he?

Does he know I'm in here?

Let me ask you something...would you ever

intentionally do something to Jeremy that would hurt him?

No. Absolutely not.

Why would you say something like that?

I need to see him.

NOW!!!

You're very angry. I understand that.

You don't understand shit!

You have no idea what it's like to be me.

That's exactly what we need to find out.

I don't need to hear this right now... I don't get this...

Give me that god damn it! How many times do I have to tell you?

Not at the dinner table.

There. Now maybe you'll finish your dinner.

You are not leaving this table until you finish every god damn

bit of that. Do you hear me?

Do you hear me?

But I don't like it mommy.

EAT! Eat! Eat!!

Eat you little pussy boy! Eat. Eat!

Eat! Eat!

Go to bed.

That must have been really hard for you.

I never told anyone.

Are you sure this doesn't bother you?

No.

It's cool. And you don't have to keep asking me.

I just don't want you to be tempted.

I really needed to unwind tonight.

I know baby.

Give me.

You know...

You really need to realize that there is so much good in you.

Validating that good is...

Not always an easy thing to do.

I just feel alone.

I feel so alone sometimes.

Like I can't...

shake this feeling of being abandoned.

But you...

You can change that.

That is all up to you.

Besides...

You, mister, have me now.

Will you stay with me tonight?

I would love to stay with you tonight.

Come on sleepyhead! Wake up! I've got a surprise for you.

Yo! Sleeping beauty! Wake up!

But it's Saturday.

Yeah, I know. Let's go.

Where are we going?

Come on. Up, up up! I've got a surprise.

I hate surprises.

I heard that!

Now can you tell me what we're doing here?

Well, since horses are the one thing that

brighten that beautiful smile, I thought you should have one of your own.

What are you talking about?

This farm is part of an adopt a horse program.

You get to adopt a old or abused horse...

Cay, I want you to meet 'Nero Fiddles'.

Nero, meet your new owner, Caleb.

You're kidding, right?

She's 15 years old. She's friendly, healthy.

And I think a big old lesbian.

But just remember, I don't shovel shit or anything like that.

No, of course not.

And there's one more thing...

What?

Come here...

I just want you to know you have made me

the happiest I've been in my entire life.

I never felt this way about another guy.

I love you so much.

I love you, too.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That was the first time I ever heard someone tell me that with such conviction.

It was a foreign word to me.

I don't even think I love myself.

Did you ever?

No. No.

Why is that?

I don't know.

I never had love.

Growing up...even when I was

a little kid. Being told,

I was a pussy boy or a faggot all the time.

It doesn't do much for the self-esteem.

Who called you that?

My mother. For starters.

You're not a pussy.

And you're not a faggot.

I suck dick...

Is that what you think a faggot is? What a faggot is

is disgusting slang. That's all.

Whatever. I'm gay, okay?

Well, great. That's not a bad thing.

Now, you had love.

Genuine love.

Jeremy.

Ponyboy. You know, from that movie 'The Outsiders'?

I like the name, but can't say I've ever seen it.

You young ones today. Can't get no respect.

What about you?

Donnie Darko.

Who?

Jake Gyllenhaal.

When he was a teen. That whole dark and brooding thing.

He had all that dark hair. Had that rebel

thing going on.

I had actually got caught beatin' off thinking about him.

No. Really?

I had hung this 'Outsiders' poster on my bedroom wall

and I thought I was being all inconspicuous about it with it hung behind my bed.

Ooops.

I 'd lay back with my feet on the pillow and get busy.

My mom comes in with a pile of laundry and there I am, whackin' off.

Choking the chicken, yeah, go on.

I'd have my shirt pulled up against my nipples

and my jeans and my underwear around my ankles.

She walks in, and I'm so caught off guard that I roll of the bed

and I fall to the ground.

Classic.

It was like something out of a Ben Stiller movie, but...

I mean honestly, the real experience was not that fun.

You were alone.

Now I have you.

So let me ask you something?

Shoot.

You ever think about finding your mom?

I don't see the point.

Closure.

I have thought about it a couple of times.

Some day.

I have a new family.

It's a nice couple. They take really

good care of me.

That's nice, sweetie.

Kinda boring, but they're cool.

What's brown and sticky?

I don't know. Poop?

No! A stick, silly!

I'm in school.

Hum?

I try really hard. It's alright.

I don't really get the whole Algebra II thing.

What does a perverted frog say?

I don't know.

Rub it. Rub it. Rub it.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Mom...

Lick-a-lota-puss!

Come on Cabby, duh!

Hey, hey...just one more. One more. Promise. And then we will go down to have applesauce.

Because, I need my sauce.

Okay...what is the number one cause

of pedophilia?

Sexy babies.

Get it? Get it?

It's sexy babies.

It's sexy babies. Sexy babies. Sexy babies.

It's the babies. The babies.

Why would someone who rarely cooks have two jars of Cream of Tartar?

I honestly don't even know what that is.

I don't either.

So how long do we cook this for?

A half hour, maybe.

So where did you learn all this...

kitchen stuff. You don't really even seem like the cooking type.

Magic.

Oh, I almost forgot.

You shouldn't have.

Just open it.

So I saw it in the drugstore and thought of you.

Oh my god...a Bugs Bunny toothbrush.

I know, it's silly.

No. It is not silly.

It is very sweet.

I just thought that we could

ummm...take it to the next

step...level...

I just ummm...you could keep it here.

With no more overnight toiletry bag.

No more overnight toiletry bag.

Thanks. OH! And... A Key.

To your hole?

No! Gross. No, to my heart.

No, the house. It's the house.

To my heart. To the house.

Baby...

Thank you.

Of course.

I love you so much.

Thanks.

By the way...

I found her.

Your mom.

Fuck.

Cay? Cay, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to do it.

I'm sorry, alright.

I shouldn't have done that. I apologize.

Just fuckin' stop. Just fuckin' stop!!! Why can't you be

my fucking boyfriend and not my keeper!

I'm not being..

You have fuckin' no idea!

So what?

I thought I was doing something...

So now you know the Caleb... the Jacob's fucking family secret.

How do you feel about it, huh? You wanna know a secret? You wanna know a secret?

I've been keeping tabs on the bitch the entire time. In the fucking loony bin...

that's exactly where she's been! I knew that! I fucking knew that!!!

Just calm down...

NO! Don't tell me to calm down!

I'm sorry, okay! I thought I was doing something right.

You have no fucking idea how it feels. You have fucking no idea!!!

Enough! Enough, okay!

Shut up!!!!

I'm sorry.

Alright?

Just calm down...

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry.

Don't.

Whatever.

I'm sorry

It's NOT okay.

I know it's not okay. I'm sorry okay?

Look at me, I'm sorry.

Fucking belt.

I'm gonna cum...

Shoot it! Go!

10 minutes. That's all I needed was 10 fucking minutes, and I'd be comatose.

That's all I needed.

Did you discuss this with your therapist?

What's the point? I'd just get another pill, and...

With the right diagnosis

and medication, it's amazing what can happen.

Let's get something straight! I'm not her, alright.

I'm not her.

You're fucking disgusting.

You fucking piece of shit.

You ugly little pussy bitch.

Cum whore. You did this to me.

You...

made me like this. You did it.

You made me what I am. You!

You! You! You! You little faggot!

Little faggot!

I can't stand you.

I cannot stand that I pushed you out of my vagina.

You ruined me!

You tore up my insides

and stole every piece of me

when you forced your little fat wrinkly baby

body into this world. My heart...

My intestines. My pussy.

My fucking anus.

You're gross.

You are disgusting. I mean, look at you!

Just look at you!!!!!

Look at you. Devil's spawn!

Worse then even the man who dumped his sperm into me.

And all for what?

For what? So you could run around sticking

AIDS ridden dicks in your asshole you sad pathetic

faggot! Homo!

I hate you! I hate you!

You didn't go to the hospital?

No, I didn't go to the hospital.

I wasn't gonna leave you like this.

You and I...we need to talk.

Do you hate me?

No...

No, I don't hate you.

I am the one that you should hate. This is all

my fault. I never should have butt in.

This isn't any ones fault.

I did this.

I still cannot comprehend why

you would cut yourself like this.

Ouch...

Sorry.

Don't be.

ouch.

Fuck...

I don't know.

I guess I just wanted the outsides to look like the way I feel on the inside.

Oh fuck, that's stupid.

You know, suicide is not an option.

I wasn't gonna do that!

You know, I look at you and all I see is pain.

I just want to make it better.

You know, that's just it. Don't try so hard.

I'm not used to all this.

You know, no one has ever given me this much.

And...

Every single time I let someone in, they just

leave me. So don't try so hard. Okay?

What was I supposed to do?

I walk in and I see you bleeding.

I don't call that trying too hard, okay.

I call that trying to take care of somebody I love.

You're not gonna leave me now, are you?

Did you not just hear what I said?

I said I love you.

You know, the past 8 months

have changed my life more than you will ever know.

I'm sorry.

I never want to leave you.

You know what you need?

A lobotomy?

Maybe.

Yeah, probably.

I think you need a little bit of Nero in the morning.

Yeah?

How's that sound?

Sounds great.

Fairmont Place. Fairmont Place. Fairmont Place.

Fairmont Place...

That ones mine. Ready? Wanna see what it is?

He's good for something.

Awe...cute.

Thank you.

Here we go.. but Daddy's not going to be the one getting up in the middle of the night

feeding her, now is he?

She knows me like a book.

I'm kidding...

She just kicked. This kid has been going crazy all day.

Honey, feel.

Baby, could you grab the recycling bin, too?

Awe, you didn't.

These are my favorite.

Don't forget the box that my Mother brought.

I know, I know.

It's in the car.

Okay.

For the longest time I...

I didn't even love myself.

Caleb, you just have to..

you have to be completely honest with me.

If we're gonna make this work.

I like it that way.

Me, too.

Why are you doing this to me?

Why are you doing

this to me?

Why are you doing this

to me.

Why are you...

You fuck. Fuck you!

I've been waiting for you.

I'm sorry, baby. I got stuck in the ER.

Come to bed.

I see how this goes.

Is this my payback for being late?

Scoot.

Awe, you dirty boy.

You have no idea.

Now kiss me.

Close your eyes.

I have a surprise for you.

Can I open? Shhh.

Daddy's Angel.

How cute.

How did you get these?

Cay, come on. Let me explain. Just take these off.

I really don't think I should be around you right now.

Cay...Cay, wait. Let me explain. Cay, Wait!

Cay! Caleb! Take these fucking things off me.

Cay! Cay!

Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop.

Please stop. Please stop. Please stop.

Please stop. Please stop. Please stop.

Please stop. Please stop. Please stop.

STOP STOP STOP STOP!

Caleb...

Cay!!!!!

Cay!!!!!

Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!

You fucking pussy. I can't stand this shit!

Ahhhhh!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!

Ahhhhh!!!

You're fucking crazy!

What did you call me?

I have been in here for hours.

You fucking psycho!

Please don't hit me. Please don't hit me.

Please don't hit me.

Listen to you. You sound like a faggot. You are a faggot, right? RIGHT?

Take these off of me.

Answer the question.

Yes.

Louder. I wanna hear it again.

Yes.

Very good.

Now see, I know that. And you know that.

But does your wife know that?

Why are you doing this to me?

Why?

Why? Listen to you.

Damn, you are pathetic.

You're nothing but a two-faced liar.

No...

Nothing that we did was a lie.

She's a fucking cunt. A cunt.

That just blows my mind.

And she's pregnant. She's pregnant, too?

Take that off of me.

Your wife should really lock the back door.

Please tell me you didn't hurt her. Please tell me you didn't hurt her.

She's fine.

What do you think I am?

I'm sorry, baby.

I'm so sorry.

SHUT UP!

You're not who I thought you were.

You're just like everybody else.

No. You're not listening.

I'm sorry.

Shut UP! Just stop.

I can't breathe...

Please let me go. I won't tell anyone. Please just let me go.

I know...

You're too afraid. What would you say?

I'm sucking some kid's dick?

The Ms. would love that.

How long do you plan on keeping me here?

Until you tell me the truth.

Have you heard of Brief Reactive Psychosis?

No...

Enlighten me.

It's usually triggered by an extremely stressful event in ones life.

You've had many recently.

The subject tends to hear voices and hallucinate.

To see and hear things that aren't really there.

They do things they wouldn't normally ever do.

Does this sound familiar?

We've talked about your life growing up. The abandonment.

So...what's that got to do with why I'm here?

I'm thinking that perhaps the new details

you've discovered about Jeremy's life may have been a trigger

for what transpired with him.

You people keep saying what's transpired with Jeremy. I don't know what you're talking about.

Do you hear yourself? You have an acute reaction to rejection.

There's only so many times

I can pick myself up again.

So many credit cards...

Oh, whose Don? Do you fuck him, too?

Should I take that as a yes?

No.

Ooh, look at that...

it's the first word you said in hours. I was beginning to think you were mad at me.

So what's her name?

Your bitch?

Fuck you!

Why did you get married if you're gay?

You have no clue about our relationship.

You're GAY!

You can't make that go away.

Alright, YES! I'm gay!

Okay, there. I said it. I'm gay.

Does she even know?

I don't know.

Why did you marry her?

Because I thought it would change.

I thought having a baby would make things different.

Do you hear how ridiculous

that is? Oh, it's so easy for you, isn't it?

We grew up in different times, Cay.

You...you have things like fucking Glee.

Where I grew up, all I heard

is that gay equals AIDS. You're gay,

you die. That kept me hiding.

You wanna know the real reason my adopted mother threw her husband out?

She caught him fucking me!

He'd been molesting me for years. You have no idea what it feels like to have the man that's

supposed to be your father ripping your ass open.

And AIDS? You think I wasn't scared of dying?

That disgusting creeper shot his load in my ass constantly.

If you think I wasn't scared of dying,

think again, my friend.

Okay...

I should be back by three. Would you like me to leave the TV on for you?

The TV...

There's no TV.

Okay, before I go...take three of these.

One, two, and three.

Drink. Drink!

Swallow.

Now I know you know how do to that.

Good boy. Open. Come on, open.

Come on... For the anxiety.

Three should do the trick.

I wanna go home.

You are home.

I love you.

(phone rings)

Hey.

Can I get one of these?

I've seen you here.

Because I work here.

So listen. I'm hot. I think you're kind of hot.

What do you say we make it happen?

That's stupid.

You're stupid. Plus, I'm married.

Yeah, well, good luck with that.

It's on the house.

You're a nasty little bitch, aren't you?

You have no idea.

Get up!

AHHHHHHH!

Come on. Shut up, you pussy.

AHHHHHHH!

I hope for your sake you swallowed those pills.

What the...what the fuck are you doing?

Get...what the fuck are you doing?

I thought you'd like it daddy.

Please just kill me.

I don't want this anymore.

Don't be ridiculous.

I wanna die.

I can't...

Don't worry. I have something better for you.

You're about to lose the one thing that you worked so hard for.

Take a sip.

Little more?

It's good, isn't it?

Have some more. Oh, come on, don't be greedy.

Let's get drunk together.

Do you hate me?

No. No I don't hate you.

I am the one that you should hate.

This is all my fault.

This isn't anyones fault.

I did this.

You're not gonna leave me now, are you?

I said I love you.

The past 8 months have changed my life more than you will ever know.

I'm sorry.

I never want to leave you.

Even though I'm really scared...

I do love you.

I'm so sorry, baby.

NO!!!!

AHHHH!!! GET IT OUT!

GET IT OUT!!!!

There was only one thing left to do.

And what was that?

(phone buzzing)

You do and say exactly what we went over, okay?

Yes.

Everything will be okay.

Jeremy? Jeremy, I'm here.

Leah...

Jeremy?

What's this all about?

Jeremy!!!

Are you okay?

Seems we have something in common.

Isn't that right, baby?

Somebody tell me what the hell is going on here!

Go on...tell her.

Please...help me.

Come on.

Go ahead and tell her.

Just like we practiced.

Come on. I...

I...

Am...

Am...

A...

Please...

A...

Faggot.

Faggot.

How are we supposed to be a family when you have a wife?

We've been fucking for almost a year. Tell her how you like to go down on me.

He sucks a mean cock. Swallows, too.

Look at that. Nice throw. You're more of a man then he is.

Let's see what we all got here.

Wouldn't it be great if mommy had a dirty little secret, too?

Cay, it's over.

Stop! Stop!

You wanna fuck with my family!

I killed her.

I did it.

I didn't mean to do it.

I didn't mean to hurt anyone.

It's the last thing I remember, was being at Jeremy's house.

And that was it.

Like I said...

Let's start at the beginning.

Are you hungry?

Are you hungry still? You wanna play with the cow?

You want your little cow? I know you do.

I know mamma. Don't you cry. You wanna eat.

I know you do. I know you do.

I got your feet.

I know mama, i know...

Jeremy?