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1
00:00:02,434 --> 00:00:04,546
That's unbelievable.
Danielle just called me.
2
00:00:04,667 --> 00:00:06,113
She canceled
our dinner for tonight.
3
00:00:06,234 --> 00:00:08,380
She claims she had
her wisdom teeth removed.
4
00:00:08,501 --> 00:00:09,912
This is not a lie,
Mike.
5
00:00:10,033 --> 00:00:11,847
I just saw her
an hour ago.
6
00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:15,313
We are talking big cheeks,
numb lips, lotsa drool.
7
00:00:15,434 --> 00:00:17,046
So she's up and around.
8
00:00:17,167 --> 00:00:18,546
Mike.
9
00:00:18,667 --> 00:00:20,146
This is unb...
look at me !
10
00:00:20,267 --> 00:00:23,646
My first valentine's day
alone in this harsh world.
11
00:00:23,767 --> 00:00:26,613
Is it so wrong that I want a
little female companionship ?
12
00:00:26,734 --> 00:00:28,546
If you really want, I can
set you up with someone.
13
00:00:28,667 --> 00:00:30,879
Yes, I want.
I want. Yes.
14
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,413
Fine. I'll call Suzanne.
15
00:00:32,534 --> 00:00:35,012
No, no. She does this
twirly thing with her hair
16
00:00:35,133 --> 00:00:37,480
that I know would
drive you up the wall.
17
00:00:37,601 --> 00:00:39,747
Maybe veronica. Although this
being your first date back,
18
00:00:39,868 --> 00:00:41,113
veronica might be
a bit too aggressive,
19
00:00:41,234 --> 00:00:44,513
you know, sexually
speaking. I've got it !
20
00:00:44,634 --> 00:00:46,179
Katie would be perfect.
21
00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:48,113
She's cute. She's the sweetest
thing you'll ever meet.
22
00:00:48,234 --> 00:00:50,246
Tell me more
about veronica.
23
00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:51,313
Mike, is it
all right
24
00:00:51,434 --> 00:00:53,546
if I come in a little
late tomorrow ?
25
00:00:53,667 --> 00:00:56,346
Because tonight I got
plans with Claudia.
26
00:00:56,467 --> 00:00:58,680
We have to sleep in a
little. Know what I mean ?
27
00:00:58,801 --> 00:01:01,113
You can come in late...
as long as you promise
28
00:01:01,234 --> 00:01:02,501
not to tell me
what you mean.
29
00:01:04,334 --> 00:01:05,780
Wait. Why am I
setting you up ?
30
00:01:05,901 --> 00:01:07,113
I don't even
have a date yet.
31
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,680
You're always welcome
to join me at the bar.
32
00:01:09,801 --> 00:01:12,413
I'll be reenacting my
traditional bad holiday ritual.
33
00:01:12,534 --> 00:01:16,079
It involves a good book
and a big bottle of Chianti.
34
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,079
No expectations.
No disappointments.
35
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,413
Forgive me, Stuart,
but when I close my eyes
36
00:01:20,534 --> 00:01:22,613
and try to envision the
perfect valentine's day,
37
00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:26,613
you are usually bound and
gagged in a shed somewhere.
38
00:01:26,734 --> 00:01:28,801
Ooh.
39
00:01:30,234 --> 00:01:32,613
You know, Nikki,
sometimes the perfect date
40
00:01:32,734 --> 00:01:33,868
is right
under your nose.
41
00:01:37,267 --> 00:01:38,613
You know what ?
You're right.
42
00:01:38,734 --> 00:01:40,279
This is not
a time for pride.
43
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,113
I need to start calling old boyfriends.
44
00:01:43,234 --> 00:01:44,613
Well, I am no longer
45
00:01:44,734 --> 00:01:46,413
desperate and alone
this evening.
46
00:01:46,534 --> 00:01:48,879
Spence called.
He wants to see me.
47
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,847
Spence ? The guy who
dumped you twice Spence ?
48
00:01:51,968 --> 00:01:53,267
I prefer
just Spence.
49
00:01:54,434 --> 00:01:56,546
Well, that means
he wants you back.
50
00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:58,380
Come on. Spence and I are over.
51
00:01:58,501 --> 00:02:02,246
Tonight is merely a friendly little
extension of the olive branch.
52
00:02:02,367 --> 00:02:03,901
Is that a euphemism ?
53
00:02:08,701 --> 00:02:11,179
Please. Tonight is
totally casual. In fact,
54
00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:13,580
Mike, if your date
doesn't pan out, stop by.
55
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,646
Spence is bringing
a friend... a woman.
56
00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:18,480
Sounds great. Thank you,
carter. Good plan "b".
57
00:02:18,601 --> 00:02:22,580
Plan "b" ? You are going out with
a friend of mine tonight, buster !
58
00:02:22,701 --> 00:02:24,012
How immature are you ?
59
00:02:24,133 --> 00:02:25,413
I'm not immature.
60
00:02:25,534 --> 00:02:27,834
Just in case
she's an uggo.
61
00:02:41,901 --> 00:02:43,246
Well, am I...
62
00:02:43,367 --> 00:02:45,813
glad Nikki thought
of setting us up.
63
00:02:45,934 --> 00:02:50,046
I mean, we just met, and... and
already I'm feeling comfortable.
64
00:02:50,167 --> 00:02:52,480
That's unusual,
because, you know,
65
00:02:52,601 --> 00:02:56,179
sometimes these things
can be pretty awkward.
66
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:58,179
I can tell
within 15 minutes
67
00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:00,801
whether or not I'm gonna
have sex with a guy.
68
00:03:05,601 --> 00:03:06,646
Really ?
69
00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,079
I, uh...
70
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,300
have an aunt who can guess
people's favorite colors.
71
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:14,912
Come on. Everybody's
the same way.
72
00:03:15,033 --> 00:03:16,380
At least I have
the guts to admit it.
73
00:03:16,501 --> 00:03:21,146
So... when do
my 15 minutes start ?
74
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:23,380
They already did.
75
00:03:23,501 --> 00:03:26,546
I can handle pressure.
I deal with it every day.
76
00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:28,501
Thrive on it.
77
00:03:29,567 --> 00:03:31,813
14:58...
78
00:03:31,934 --> 00:03:33,713
uh, can I get
some wine, please ?
79
00:03:33,834 --> 00:03:34,834
Hurry !
80
00:04:00,267 --> 00:04:01,501
Coming !
81
00:04:05,267 --> 00:04:06,501
Coming !
82
00:04:23,801 --> 00:04:24,713
Spence Kamer !
83
00:04:24,834 --> 00:04:26,767
How you doin',
carter ?
84
00:04:32,801 --> 00:04:34,179
Ok. Got through
that.
85
00:04:34,300 --> 00:04:35,912
Ha ha. Yeah.
86
00:04:36,033 --> 00:04:37,601
Come on in.
Sit down.
87
00:04:38,801 --> 00:04:40,079
Ohhh...
88
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,179
I miss this couch !
89
00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:43,680
Yeah, well.
90
00:04:43,801 --> 00:04:45,767
You got the stereo. I got the couch.
91
00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:48,513
I didn't say
I want the couch.
92
00:04:48,634 --> 00:04:50,167
I just said
I miss the couch.
93
00:04:51,467 --> 00:04:52,979
Uh, white wine ok ?
94
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:54,434
Sure, thanks.
95
00:04:55,501 --> 00:04:57,079
You look great.
96
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,713
Yeah, you, too.
97
00:04:58,834 --> 00:05:00,213
I like that goatee.
98
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:01,813
Yeah, well,
they, uh...
99
00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:03,313
seem pretty hip,
100
00:05:03,434 --> 00:05:05,813
but you get a few stray hairs
growing in the wrong direction,
101
00:05:05,934 --> 00:05:07,868
you start to look
like count Chocula !
102
00:05:09,968 --> 00:05:11,667
And that's not good.
103
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:15,267
No.
104
00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:19,179
Uh, where's your friend ? Is she coming ?
105
00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:20,847
I thought you said
she was coming.
106
00:05:20,968 --> 00:05:22,380
Not that I'm not
glad to see you.
107
00:05:22,501 --> 00:05:24,946
It's just that...
ahem. I'm babbling.
108
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:27,246
It's ok, though, actually.
I kinda miss that.
109
00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:29,213
I asked her
to stop by later.
110
00:05:29,334 --> 00:05:30,780
I want to spend some
time alone with you first,
111
00:05:30,901 --> 00:05:31,834
if that's ok.
112
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:34,446
Oh. Ok.
113
00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:36,100
Whatever.
114
00:05:37,334 --> 00:05:38,267
Boy !
115
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,946
Just relax, ok ?
116
00:05:44,067 --> 00:05:45,979
Drink the wine...
117
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,167
breathe
the secondhand smoke...
118
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,968
And think about
the emptiness of your life.
119
00:05:55,367 --> 00:05:57,713
Don't you think
that's a little dark ?
120
00:05:57,834 --> 00:05:59,747
Siddown.
121
00:05:59,868 --> 00:06:01,813
Everyone'll wind up
here, eventually.
122
00:06:01,934 --> 00:06:03,146
They always do.
123
00:06:03,267 --> 00:06:06,179
No, no. Not Nikki. She's out with Kevin.
124
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:09,480
She's probably laughing at
his jokes, his stories...
125
00:06:09,601 --> 00:06:10,480
what's he do ?
126
00:06:10,601 --> 00:06:11,634
He's a comedian.
127
00:06:14,901 --> 00:06:16,780
You know she'll
fall for the guy,
128
00:06:16,901 --> 00:06:17,946
and I'll get to hear
about it every day
129
00:06:18,067 --> 00:06:21,334
until my ears bleed.
I hate this.
130
00:06:29,701 --> 00:06:33,480
Oh, Paul,
this is so sexy !
131
00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:36,780
You're telling me.
And watch your feet.
132
00:06:36,901 --> 00:06:38,113
This is gonna be
133
00:06:38,234 --> 00:06:39,946
the best valentine's day
of your life, darlin'.
134
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,546
And dip.
Ooh !
135
00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:43,213
I'm sorr...
136
00:06:43,334 --> 00:06:45,200
I'm so sorry !
I'm sorry !
137
00:06:46,467 --> 00:06:47,346
Oh ! Are you
all right ?
138
00:06:47,467 --> 00:06:49,480
I'm ok.
I'm ok, honey.
139
00:06:49,601 --> 00:06:52,380
I know this isn't
the best place to dance.
140
00:06:52,501 --> 00:06:53,780
It's just...
141
00:06:53,901 --> 00:06:56,279
well, I wanted
to start our evening
142
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,680
in the room where
our lips first met.
143
00:06:58,801 --> 00:07:02,580
Oh, Paul. Sweep me
off my feet right now,
144
00:07:02,701 --> 00:07:05,133
and I'm yours forever.
145
00:07:07,434 --> 00:07:08,367
Tango ?
146
00:07:09,634 --> 00:07:10,567
Take me.
147
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:18,313
Tonight... cupid's arrow will
strike sharply and precisely.
148
00:07:18,434 --> 00:07:19,868
Open !
149
00:07:20,934 --> 00:07:22,680
Ooh ! Ooh !
150
00:07:22,801 --> 00:07:24,012
I'm sorry !
151
00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:25,446
Oh, I'm sorry !
152
00:07:25,567 --> 00:07:27,680
I should have taken
out the thorns.
153
00:07:27,801 --> 00:07:29,501
I'm sorry.
154
00:07:30,634 --> 00:07:31,901
Ah. So...
155
00:07:34,234 --> 00:07:35,400
how'd I do ?
156
00:07:36,801 --> 00:07:38,801
I'm not gonna have sex with you tonight.
157
00:07:40,834 --> 00:07:42,780
Well. Then, uh...
158
00:07:42,901 --> 00:07:45,801
I'm not gonna have sex with you, either.
159
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,879
Good night,
Michael Flaherty.
160
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,234
Good night,
veronica...
161
00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:56,934
...veronica.
162
00:07:58,567 --> 00:08:01,012
So I gathered a few thousand
of my closest friends,
163
00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:03,313
and we swarmed
the state legislature.
164
00:08:03,434 --> 00:08:05,879
We got arrested,
but we got results.
165
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,346
Still doing the whole
angry black man thing, huh ?
166
00:08:08,467 --> 00:08:10,334
Yeah, well, I think
it works for me.
167
00:08:12,133 --> 00:08:15,613
Tried the angry Chinese
man thing, but...
168
00:08:15,734 --> 00:08:18,279
couldn't seem to
nail it.
169
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,267
Well, the carter I knew
woulda nailed that Chinese man.
170
00:08:22,634 --> 00:08:25,267
Or at least bought him
a few drinks.
171
00:08:26,734 --> 00:08:29,279
God, I miss laughing
like this. Yeah, I know.
172
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,434
This is great.
173
00:08:31,634 --> 00:08:32,513
Hey !
174
00:08:32,634 --> 00:08:33,667
Uh...
175
00:08:35,634 --> 00:08:36,513
Mike !
176
00:08:36,634 --> 00:08:39,213
Uh... what... what
happened to...
177
00:08:39,334 --> 00:08:40,413
veronica ?
178
00:08:40,534 --> 00:08:41,413
Pff !
179
00:08:41,534 --> 00:08:43,734
I dumped her.
180
00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:46,613
Spence Kamer,
Mike Flaherty.
181
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:47,713
Mike Flaherty.
182
00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:49,413
Hey, uh, Spence.
Hey, Mike.
183
00:08:49,534 --> 00:08:51,580
So, Spence, when's this
mystery woman showing up ?
184
00:08:51,701 --> 00:08:54,613
Actually, I asked her
to come by a little later,
185
00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:56,446
because I wanted to talk
to you about something
186
00:08:56,567 --> 00:08:58,133
while we were,
uh, alone.
187
00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:03,267
That's ok. I have no secrets from Mike.
188
00:09:04,701 --> 00:09:06,701
We're very close.
189
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,680
Ok. Carter, Melissa and
I are getting married.
190
00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:13,113
To who ?
191
00:09:13,234 --> 00:09:15,747
Listen, carter, I found
out a lot about myself
192
00:09:15,868 --> 00:09:18,580
in the last year, and
the fact is, I'm straight,
193
00:09:18,701 --> 00:09:20,346
and we're getting
married.
194
00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:22,634
I came here to ask
you to be my best man.
195
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,667
I can't believe
what I'm hearing.
196
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:33,000
All right... let me get this straight.
197
00:09:34,501 --> 00:09:37,546
Lemme cut straight
to the chase.
198
00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:39,868
I can't stop
saying "straight."
199
00:09:41,868 --> 00:09:43,146
This uncomfortable for you ?
200
00:09:43,267 --> 00:09:44,747
A little bit.
Yeah.
201
00:09:44,868 --> 00:09:46,813
So it's not just me.
No.
202
00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:48,267
Well, we got
that straight.
203
00:09:49,968 --> 00:09:52,079
You sure you're all right ? Oh, I'm fine.
204
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,868
I think the bleeding's almost stopped.
205
00:09:55,133 --> 00:09:56,480
So...
206
00:09:56,601 --> 00:09:57,480
do you trust me ?
207
00:09:57,601 --> 00:09:58,979
Forever.
208
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,513
Well, that's good.
209
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:01,979
Because...
210
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,346
ooh !
211
00:10:03,467 --> 00:10:06,413
Are you going to interrogate
me until you break my will
212
00:10:06,534 --> 00:10:08,747
and I submit to
your every desire ?
213
00:10:08,868 --> 00:10:11,300
No. I just thought
this would be neat.
214
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,879
Now, don't be afraid.
Ok.
215
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,634
This is
just phase 2.
216
00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:21,946
Oh, I know that sound.
217
00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:23,847
Phase 3...
218
00:10:23,968 --> 00:10:26,246
is a carriage ride
around the city.
219
00:10:26,367 --> 00:10:29,046
Ooh ! Those
are expensive.
220
00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:31,534
Well... I have a coupon.
221
00:10:35,667 --> 00:10:37,067
Drink.
222
00:10:39,667 --> 00:10:41,380
And now, my darling,
223
00:10:41,501 --> 00:10:43,667
chase it down
with this.
224
00:10:44,934 --> 00:10:46,946
Mmm !
225
00:10:47,067 --> 00:10:49,780
What is that taste ? It's
very interesting. Mmm.
226
00:10:49,901 --> 00:10:52,000
How could you not know what
a strawberry tastes like ?
227
00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:57,734
How was I supposed to know she
was allergic to strawberries ?
228
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:00,613
Refresh my memory.
229
00:11:00,734 --> 00:11:02,680
Was phase 3
the romantic carriage ride
230
00:11:02,801 --> 00:11:04,234
or the trip
to the emergency room ?
231
00:11:05,634 --> 00:11:07,213
You should have
seen her.
232
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,313
Her head swelled up.
Her face turned blue.
233
00:11:09,434 --> 00:11:11,801
She looked like that crazy
girl from Willy Wonka.
234
00:11:14,334 --> 00:11:15,847
Will you look at Nikki ?
235
00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:18,246
If I didn't know her,
I'd make a move on her.
236
00:11:18,367 --> 00:11:20,780
But I do know her.
And she knows me.
237
00:11:20,901 --> 00:11:23,213
If you're gonna make a
move, you gotta have an edge.
238
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:24,801
You can't be normal,
James.
239
00:11:26,234 --> 00:11:27,279
Hey, James.
Brought you a beer.
240
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,546
You wanted a light,
right ?
241
00:11:28,667 --> 00:11:30,513
Yeah, thanks.
Hey, Nikki,
242
00:11:30,634 --> 00:11:32,380
let's sit over
at that table.
243
00:11:32,501 --> 00:11:33,534
Why ?
244
00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:36,200
Why ?
245
00:11:37,701 --> 00:11:39,213
Why ?
246
00:11:39,334 --> 00:11:41,179
Paul feels really bad
about Claudia,
247
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:43,113
and I'd just like
a moment alone
248
00:11:43,234 --> 00:11:44,234
to comfort him.
249
00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:47,868
Ok.
250
00:11:52,734 --> 00:11:54,480
I really appreciate
that, Stuart.
251
00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:57,747
I really do, because my
relationship with Claudia is...
252
00:11:57,868 --> 00:11:58,968
don't care.
253
00:12:01,501 --> 00:12:03,546
I'll be rational
about this.
254
00:12:03,667 --> 00:12:05,213
I'm sure this happens
to thousands of people
255
00:12:05,334 --> 00:12:06,834
thousands of times.
256
00:12:08,767 --> 00:12:10,000
You really think so ?
257
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,113
I'm sorry. You... you
were starting to talk.
258
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,834
I made him straight,
Mike.
259
00:12:20,234 --> 00:12:21,513
I mean,
how would you feel
260
00:12:21,634 --> 00:12:22,813
if a woman
you were dating
261
00:12:22,934 --> 00:12:25,000
left you to be
with another woman ?
262
00:12:26,234 --> 00:12:27,300
Just a second.
263
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,000
Trying to picture it.
264
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,646
It's not just that
he's moved on.
265
00:12:33,767 --> 00:12:35,613
It's that...
everything about my life
266
00:12:35,734 --> 00:12:37,646
says that I've been
standing still.
267
00:12:37,767 --> 00:12:39,513
He's changed his
sexual orientation.
268
00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:42,879
I can't even change the
message on my answering machine !
269
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,413
You are being too hard
on yourself. All right ?
270
00:12:45,534 --> 00:12:47,979
You bought
that new bread maker.
271
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,546
Thanks, Mike.
I'll cling to that.
272
00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:54,446
Spence knows me better than
anybody else in the world.
273
00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:56,446
It probably took him
5 seconds to figure out
274
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:57,580
I was still waiting
for him.
275
00:12:57,701 --> 00:13:00,813
He's gonna come back
feeling sorry for me.
276
00:13:00,934 --> 00:13:02,334
I don't think
I can take that.
277
00:13:03,467 --> 00:13:04,400
Listen, carter...
278
00:13:05,634 --> 00:13:06,901
I've been through this.
279
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,580
Well, not exactly
this, but...
280
00:13:10,701 --> 00:13:13,580
something very similar, and... and...
281
00:13:13,701 --> 00:13:16,701
and I know how painful this can be.
282
00:13:18,267 --> 00:13:20,646
If there's anything
I can do for you,
283
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:22,580
just ask, all right ?
284
00:13:22,701 --> 00:13:26,680
Even if... even if I can make
tonight a little bit easier.
285
00:13:26,801 --> 00:13:28,079
You know, I... I'm
at your service.
286
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,067
I'm in your corner.
I'm on your team.
287
00:13:49,501 --> 00:13:50,901
Thanks, honey.
288
00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:56,813
Isn't this
just great ?
289
00:13:56,934 --> 00:13:58,480
I mean, I can't
believe this.
290
00:13:58,601 --> 00:14:01,079
The two of you, the
two of us sitting here,
291
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,667
getting to know
each other.
292
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:12,546
Me, too.
293
00:14:12,667 --> 00:14:14,879
Michael ?
294
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,067
Isn't this great ?
295
00:14:20,701 --> 00:14:22,313
Oh, sure...
296
00:14:22,434 --> 00:14:23,534
honey.
297
00:14:25,634 --> 00:14:27,000
S- so, Melissa...
298
00:14:29,033 --> 00:14:30,146
How'd you two meet ?
299
00:14:30,267 --> 00:14:32,780
We worked together
on an ad campaign.
300
00:14:32,901 --> 00:14:35,313
It would have been love at first
sight, but I thought he was gay.
301
00:14:35,434 --> 00:14:36,901
He was !
302
00:14:38,734 --> 00:14:40,646
Does anybody
want a beer or...
303
00:14:40,767 --> 00:14:42,801
I, uh, I'll take
a couple dozen.
304
00:14:44,234 --> 00:14:45,713
I'll help you.
305
00:14:45,834 --> 00:14:47,813
Oh, I don't know. Few
minutes alone with you,
306
00:14:47,934 --> 00:14:50,046
I might come back straight ! (Chuckles)
307
00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:51,834
Hell, I might
come back white !
308
00:14:54,567 --> 00:14:56,646
James, really,
this is unnecessary.
309
00:14:56,767 --> 00:14:58,946
Ah, yes, but a gesture is romantic
310
00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:01,634
largely because
it is unnecessary.
311
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:04,400
Think about it.
312
00:15:14,767 --> 00:15:16,680
I'd rather not.
313
00:15:16,801 --> 00:15:18,912
James, you're acting
really weird.
314
00:15:19,033 --> 00:15:21,480
Listen, Nikki, uh...
315
00:15:21,601 --> 00:15:24,313
you think you know me,
but you don't.
316
00:15:24,434 --> 00:15:26,213
You only know a...
317
00:15:26,334 --> 00:15:27,680
office James.
318
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:31,067
Don't get me wrong.
Great guy. Love him.
319
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,279
He's harmless,
you know ?
320
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:37,713
He's the kinda guy
you give your keys to
321
00:15:37,834 --> 00:15:40,313
if you needed someone
to feed your cats.
322
00:15:40,434 --> 00:15:41,634
You have never met...
323
00:15:43,267 --> 00:15:45,546
...after hours James.
324
00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:47,446
After hours James.
325
00:15:47,567 --> 00:15:51,179
Let us just say you
don't give your keys to...
326
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:53,267
after hours James.
327
00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:57,813
You lock your door.
328
00:15:57,934 --> 00:15:59,946
I'm gonna go
to the bathroom,
329
00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:01,747
and when I come back,
330
00:16:01,868 --> 00:16:04,079
I wanna meet
one of two people...
331
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,646
either office James...
332
00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:09,434
or outside hailing
a cab James.
333
00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:14,279
I'll tell ya, you...
334
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,801
you're a very lucky
guy.
335
00:16:20,767 --> 00:16:22,234
Oh, you mean carter.
336
00:16:23,767 --> 00:16:24,868
Lucky.
337
00:16:28,167 --> 00:16:29,133
Lucky me.
338
00:16:30,334 --> 00:16:31,346
You know, Mike,
339
00:16:31,467 --> 00:16:34,167
you are exactly
carter's type.
340
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:36,434
Super.
341
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,513
So, Michael,
342
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:42,912
when did you come out ?
343
00:16:43,033 --> 00:16:44,179
Uh... huh ?
344
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,613
Oh.
345
00:16:45,734 --> 00:16:46,847
Forget it.
Don't say anything.
346
00:16:46,968 --> 00:16:49,146
I can tell. You haven't yet, have you ?
347
00:16:49,267 --> 00:16:50,979
Uh, well...
348
00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:52,979
Manhattan is...
349
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,834
such a conservative town.
350
00:17:01,133 --> 00:17:03,146
Ah. So, carter,
351
00:17:03,267 --> 00:17:05,680
whaddaya say ?
352
00:17:05,801 --> 00:17:07,546
Would ya like to be
my best man ?
353
00:17:07,667 --> 00:17:10,446
I... I'd love to, but I'm really busy.
354
00:17:10,567 --> 00:17:12,979
We haven't set a date yet. We
could plan it around your schedule.
355
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:17,346
Busy, busy, busy. I can
barely come up for air.
356
00:17:17,467 --> 00:17:18,968
Tell him.
Tell him, Mike.
357
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,300
Busy as a little bee.
358
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,747
Come on, carter.
Don't be like this.
359
00:17:28,868 --> 00:17:30,346
Stop pushing me.
360
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:31,912
You always did that.
It's driving me crazy.
361
00:17:32,033 --> 00:17:34,334
It's not gonna
happen, ok ? !
362
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:42,546
Can't you say
something to him ?
363
00:17:42,667 --> 00:17:43,580
You know
what he's like
364
00:17:43,701 --> 00:17:45,167
when he's in one
of his moods.
365
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:52,413
My date was a bust.
Thank you, Nikki.
366
00:17:52,534 --> 00:17:54,446
Carter, how'd things
go with Spence ?
367
00:17:54,567 --> 00:17:58,146
He's not even my type anymore.
I don't know what I was thinking.
368
00:17:58,267 --> 00:17:59,680
Paul, you and Claudia ?
369
00:17:59,801 --> 00:18:01,234
Tried to kill her.
370
00:18:05,033 --> 00:18:06,834
HI, veronica.
371
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,979
Hi. Look, I been
doing a lot of thinking,
372
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:13,246
and I decided
I acted badly earlier.
373
00:18:13,367 --> 00:18:14,912
I made
a big mistake.
374
00:18:15,033 --> 00:18:18,012
You're a man. I'm a woman.
It's valentine's day.
375
00:18:18,133 --> 00:18:20,501
There's no reason
we shouldn't have sex.
376
00:18:24,267 --> 00:18:25,646
Ok. Is this real,
377
00:18:25,767 --> 00:18:28,834
or did someone set this
up to make me crazy ?
378
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:34,879
All right, hold on a minute, all right ?
379
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,946
You know,
I have feelings.
380
00:18:37,067 --> 00:18:39,680
You can't just come waltzing
in here and expect me...
381
00:18:39,801 --> 00:18:41,513
yes or no ?
Yes.
382
00:18:41,634 --> 00:18:43,446
I'll let you say
good-bye to your friends,
383
00:18:43,567 --> 00:18:44,968
and I'll be right back.
384
00:18:50,701 --> 00:18:54,534
Well, who says you don't
get rewarded for good deeds ?
385
00:18:56,634 --> 00:18:58,100
Hey, Spence !
386
00:19:05,934 --> 00:19:09,012
Listen, carter, I couldn't
leave it like that.
387
00:19:09,133 --> 00:19:13,346
Welcome to our table of
romantic failures, Spence.
388
00:19:13,467 --> 00:19:15,513
Yeah. Mike's the only
lucky one here tonight.
389
00:19:15,634 --> 00:19:17,534
Of course.
He's got carter.
390
00:19:18,968 --> 00:19:20,413
Mike and carter ? Whaddaya
mean Mike and cart...
391
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,046
Ow ! Ow !
392
00:19:22,167 --> 00:19:23,813
Somebody
kicked me !
393
00:19:23,934 --> 00:19:26,179
Sorry. Sorry. I was
just uncrossing my legs.
394
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:27,179
No problem.
395
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,546
Whaddaya mean
Mike and...
396
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:29,546
Ow !
397
00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:31,879
Ow ! Ow !
398
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,813
Sorry. Me again. Me again.
Just getting crowded there.
399
00:19:34,934 --> 00:19:36,879
Well, please !
I bruise easily.
400
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,179
What... ow !
401
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:39,834
Ow !
402
00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:46,146
That was me.
403
00:19:46,267 --> 00:19:48,467
I mean, why shouldn't I
get to play ?
404
00:19:51,334 --> 00:19:54,413
Uh, Spence, Mike and I
haven't told everyone here
405
00:19:54,534 --> 00:19:57,734
that we were
in love... yet.
406
00:19:59,601 --> 00:20:01,680
I can't believe this.
407
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,580
You finally...
408
00:20:04,701 --> 00:20:06,834
tell me you love me...
409
00:20:08,634 --> 00:20:10,979
...you do it here.
410
00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:13,200
So, you wanna
get outta here ?
411
00:20:23,534 --> 00:20:25,901
Boy, are you barkin'
up the wrong tree.
412
00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:33,279
Then I guess
I'll be going.
413
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,000
I'll see you
to the door.
414
00:20:36,434 --> 00:20:37,979
Happy valentine's day,
fellas.
415
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:40,546
You know, I work
with Nikki, too.
416
00:20:40,667 --> 00:20:42,480
You're not
Stuart, right ?
417
00:20:42,601 --> 00:20:43,601
No.
418
00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:49,979
Well, you did
the right thing.
419
00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:51,912
Feel better ?
420
00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:53,912
No, not really.
421
00:20:54,033 --> 00:20:56,780
Wish you were a little
more petty and vindictive ?
422
00:20:56,901 --> 00:20:58,580
Yeah, pretty much.
423
00:20:58,701 --> 00:21:00,680
I know how that goes.
424
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:02,680
I still want him
in my life.
425
00:21:02,801 --> 00:21:04,200
So...
426
00:21:05,601 --> 00:21:07,901
this is being gay.
427
00:21:10,767 --> 00:21:12,534
Yeah. This is what
we're fighting for.
428
00:21:15,567 --> 00:21:18,079
As much as I'd like to
hang around and experiment,
429
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,480
I must get back to
the heterosexual world.
430
00:21:20,601 --> 00:21:22,879
Mike, I really
appreciate...
431
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,334
no, don't.
Don't even say it.
432
00:21:26,968 --> 00:21:28,546
You were there
for me,
433
00:21:28,667 --> 00:21:30,613
and whenever
you need it,
434
00:21:30,734 --> 00:21:32,012
I'll be there
for you.
435
00:21:32,133 --> 00:21:33,079
Good.
436
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,968
Wedding's in June.
437
00:21:37,167 --> 00:21:39,300
You're gonna need
to get a tux.
438
00:21:44,734 --> 00:21:46,713
Oh, I ruined
valentine's day.
439
00:21:46,834 --> 00:21:48,713
Oh, Paulie,
it's just one night.
440
00:21:48,834 --> 00:21:51,179
Besides, it's, what,
only 10 to 12:00.
441
00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:54,146
There's still time
left for romance.
442
00:21:54,267 --> 00:21:55,179
Really ?
443
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:56,346
Yeah.
444
00:21:56,467 --> 00:21:57,613
Why don't you start
by getting me a drink ?
445
00:21:57,734 --> 00:21:59,267
I could use one.
446
00:22:00,901 --> 00:22:01,813
That'll take too long.
447
00:22:01,934 --> 00:22:03,780
Here, take mine.
I'll get a fresh one.
448
00:22:03,901 --> 00:22:06,213
Ok. Thank you,
honey.
449
00:22:06,334 --> 00:22:07,580
Mmm.
450
00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:09,546
I know that taste.
451
00:22:09,667 --> 00:22:11,646
It's a daiquiri.
452
00:22:11,767 --> 00:22:13,667
I'll call an ambulance.
453
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:17,634
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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