Original subtitles

[Music]

hey Erin its Sloan sensor I was calling

to check on the arrangements for the

snow angel premiere party Sloan darling

it's going to be exquisite Valhalla

we're going to have 100 white doves

preset in cages over the entrance so

when Kaitlyn Quinn arrives release them

picture the snow angels with all those

gorgeous white birds swooping around Wow

now just one question cute what happens

when you stick those birds next to hot

lights for a couple of hours hmm they

die brain trust it's like sticking them

in a rotisserie do you want a hundred

charred roasted bird plummeting down on

the star of our movie no getting game

damn right you did now you have exactly

one hour to call me back with ideas for

premiere events that doesn't belong

[Music]

Xavier I need some heat resistant does

[Music]

hey you can't park here that the

handicapped spot

you

we were starting to think you're gonna

take the day off

not at all I figured you'd like a latte

to get you through the morning

you read my mind so how's the snow

angels party coming along awesome it is

gonna be the biggest thing to ever

happen on Christmas Day except for the

whole Jesus being born thing right it's

gonna be bigger than that exactly where

are we with the press well I've got

phone calls out to all the major

networks I'm just waiting for

confirmation

wait they haven't confirmed yet this

party is in three days I know when the

party is and I'll make sure the networks

are there you know I'd be happy to pitch

in make some calls myself if someone's

feeling overwhelmed I'm not thank you

I've got everything under control

even Caitlyn of course Sloane

we've got a problem Caitlyn I know oh

god she's drunk again is she trying to

tank her career Caitlyn Quinn does not

make enough money to behave this badly

one of you two I'm on it

I'll make sure they take it down great

anything I can do to help yeah can you

give me a Red Bull I'll take one too

thank god you're here so I don't have to

deal with this idiotic Gailen can you

believe they sold that video to the

tabloids stupid elves always looking to

make a buck I need you to fix this I

know I know it's an elf thing you were

the victim here but don't you worry this

loan is gonna take care of everything

all right

all right this is cold

sweetie listen you know we all love you

but you got to stop doing stuff like

this like what let me see

attacking Heidi Montag at the VMAs she

provoked me getting arrested for

smuggling drugs across the Mexican

border

they were diet pills 200 of them the

camera adds 10 pounds

okay what about shoplifting a $4,000

coat from Prada like I told you I wasn't

shoplifting I was just so drunk I forgot

I tried it on oh okay I guess I should

have told the public that look Caitlin

you're starring in a family movie now

believe it or not there is such thing as

bad publicity snow angel it can make or

break your career if you blow this you

might not get another chance so you

might want to be just a little bit more

careful with the way you present

yourself to others like now for instance

Caitlin

[Music]

stories complete and Catelyn promised to

lay low until after the movie's release

it's good work Sloane is really good

work good enough to give me the

promotion of VP I don't know that's a

big step

well you are the son of the firm's

president is there anything that I can

do to help influence that decision

like this or Haiti days yes well that

works for me just promise me you won't

try to influence my dad the same way are

you coming over later it'll be a lot

later I've got a client meeting tonight

but I'll tell you what why don't I take

you out tomorrow and we'll celebrate

your victory and handling this whole

Caitlyn less and we'll go someplace

special

why not really ah that would be amazing

I I've been dying to go there I know so

why don't you call let me get us some

reservations okay will do

okay that's my girl I talked to Caitlyn

off the ledge oh it's a Christmas

miracle well and your thoughts um you

know I stopped caring about who you date

exactly two seconds after I don't you

first of all I dumped you a second it's

just pitifully obvious how jealous you

are that I'm gonna get the VP's love

inside of you

I think it takes more than sleeping with

the boss to get a promotion yeah it's

gonna take turning the snow angel party

into the event of the decade once I do

that I'm a shoo-in for VP I'll get the

best clients uh the corner office bonus

use of company jet basically everything

you ever wanted in that makes you crazy

it's not a contest you know oh yes it is

and I'm winning

[Music]

let's go in here oh I need to decide

what Larry's buy me for Christmas

oh that one would look stunning with the

red dress that I'm wearing at brunch on

Christmas morning wish you were there to

see it I told you I have to work all day

Christmas of course I just we used to

have so much fun on Christmas mornings

getting all dressed up posing for

pictures by the Christmas tree remember

of course they do

oh I know have Larry take a picture of

you and email it to me will do I see

that one please certainly met him here

hold your brother warm please don't call

him that now how come Larry isn't

getting you your present himself he's in

Cleveland on business or the 24th he

doesn't have time to shop pretty pretty

expensive the more it costs the more

Larry knows he loves me that's not very

romantic darling

men come and go but diamonds are forever

I think your brother won't slip please

don't hold that okay Jenny I know you're

gonna be shocked

again pop see you in five oh my god this

is fantastic

it is a chestnut tartlets with a tangelo

boom Asian right it's insane your

customers must eat this up

well they would if we had any it's

probably slow cuz the holiday and I

would eat this every day

good I'm thinking about making it for

Christmas dinner on Saturday Oh about

dinner

you can't come I'm sorry I have to work

on Christmas Day Oh slow and Spencer

makes a rare appearance it's a Christmas

miracle

Merry Christmas ed what's up with

Scrooge he's worried about money we both

are

I don't know why you ever thought it

would be a good idea to open a

restaurant in LA uh because you're an

amazing chef always have been

you're the reason for my freshman 15 oh

come on who knew that truffle oil was so

good on top of mac and cheese my

specialty and once people realize how

irresistible your food is you're gonna

have a line outside the door actually I

wanted to talk to you about that now I

know the people would love this place if

they'd ever heard of it but I just don't

know how to get the word out so I was

hoping that maybe you could help me

since you are the best publicist in the

entire city

flattery gets you everywhere okay what

this place needs

is star power okay we'll get the

celebrities in here we'll get the

paparazzi out there and you'll get a

full house guaranteed do you still have

those gift certificates leftover from

the grand opening um they're in the

storeroom Oh could you give them to some

of your famous clients no I'll give them

to all my famous clients I'll put them

inside our company gift bags and I

promise you by New Year's this will be

the hottest place in Hollywood oh my

gosh thank you so much you know hey Erin

I'll go get the gift certificates yeah

you better be calling me with some good

news or you will be singing Christmas

carols as a soprano

hi Caitlin

what's up okay the ocean since

technically you're leaving the state

okay Caitlin what if you gotten yourself

into now awesome guy who's taking me

sailing no do not get on a boat rock oh

my gosh it's not a boatload of the yacht

promise me okay we just talked about

this trouble I said five party pooper

[Music]

[Music]

hello Caitlin sweetie it's a bad

connection call me back I swear if

you're calling me from the middle of the

Pacific I will swim out there and drown

you myself hello Caitlin hello

[Music]

[Music]

penguin Jesus you scared me to death how

did you get in here

Sloane Spencer time is running out you

must change your ways or pay the price

oh my god you know I should have totally

won Best Actress at the Teen Choice

Awards last year stupid to go to Fanning

okay you know sit down sit down

what happened did you break up with a

boyfriend or something uh oh please

don't tell me there's a sex tape this

isn't about me Sloane it's too late for

me but you still have a chance a chance

for what

not to die alone okay are you drunk no

okay maybe a little

I mean I only had like one to four

bottle you know that's not the point for

the next three nights you'll be visited

by three ghosts at the stroke of

midnight three ghosts

you mean like Dickens three ghosts

exactly they're gonna give you your only

shot at redemption okay here's what

we're gonna do you're gonna go home now

and tomorrow morning we're gonna go see

about getting us a professional help

okay it'll be completely confidential

promise I'm not the one who needs help

Sloane all right that's it I put up with

a lot with my clients but I've never

how did you do that listen to me slow

listen to me

go away

get out of my house maybe you okay yes

yes I am crazy

Oh God you haven't heard what turn on

your TV Quinn was dancing on this spot

earlier this evening when she apparently

choked to death on an olive while

drinking her martini too bad it wasn't

an apple martini or she'd be alive today

[Music]

thank you hi I was told Kaitlyn Quinn

was brought her are you family and her

publicist son oh my god

my Sloane's my secure

I can't believe it how many years has it

been too many oh I'm so happy to see you

what what are you doing here I work here

well what are you doing here what are

you sick no um I'm here to see one of my

clients Kaitlyn I come on no I'll take

you to her

Wow it's good to see you just had to see

for myself I can't believe it she's dead

I told her to stop getting into so much

trouble can't blame yourself no you

understand her movie premiere is in

three days I know it's hard to lose

someone so young so much ahead away

this is a nightmare I'll give you some

time alone with her goodbyes

[Music]

is that gonna make you look fat no this

is impossible your dad that is your body

yeah drink and the tackiest sheets ever

and what is this polyester right this

isn't happening seriously they need to

swap this out for Egyptian cotton before

anyone else fuse me no no no no no you

aren't happening how could you be

talking to me if you're dead I'll give

you a hint

boo you you're a ghost yep just like

Marley from A Christmas Carol

okay this is unreal you're dreaming

you're dreaming wake up Sloane wait you

wake now Tom it was somebody covered in

sweat you okay I see dead people

[Music]

I've heard you have your first psychotic

break in your early 20s do you think

that's what's happening to me no you're

not crazy I had a conversation with a

dead celebrity it was a hallucination

reaction to your friend dying Oh No

okay still stress messes with the head

and makes you see things that aren't

there so you don't believe in ghosts

sure I do

really absolutely when I was in the

tenth grade there the seance a slumber

party and I promise you the easy part

moving on a time said that Christina

Aguilera was going to go to the prom

with me she didn't that's not the Ouija

boards for Sloane come on wake up you

don't need an exorcist you just vacation

I know I need to just chuck everything

and lie on a beach in the middle of

Hawaii I should be able to get off of

work sometime in January of 2018 yeah

you know what Sloane you're right who

needs Hawaii when you could have LA

traffic dead celebrities mm-hmm

impending schizophrenia I've missed you

misfolded Zach

you didn't have to leave yes I did

it's med school it was my dream what

else was I supposed to do you know I

just come with me in fact I thought you

were coming with me

I couldn't could you imagine me stuck

out in the middle of nowhere working as

a cashier at a pig agency while you're

at your classes look what kind of life

would that have been

you better get that I guess I better

[Music]

I know I know your star by my good looks

okay you are not really here no no this

is a figment of my imagination caused by

too much stress who are you trying to

convince here you are mate damn does he

do flies go away this is a nice way to

start the day

no I mean yes maybe later go back to

sleep it never gets old what do you want

I told you I was sitting to give you a

warning change your ways or suffer the

consequences sent by who God the

universe freaking Tom Cruise yeah I

wasn't paying attention Michael Jackson

won in bed early for vodka don't you

think it's not mine it's her since Kate

pence yeah he can't see me you know look

it's an um it's an honor of Caitlin

doesn't seem like she's really gone no

honey I can't believe it either

she was so young and full of life and

hey coffee's ready

the good news is I have decided to put

you in charge of Caitlyn's memorial

service so how is that good news

pulling off a good funeral is like the

litmus test for a PR agent yep this

could get you a lock on that promotion

sure can and since you're all you're

working the premiere party it'll be cake

cake besides I only deal with living

clients dead ones don't generate revenue

and jerk whoo that was kind of fun don't

don't

what um put your coffee cup on the

counter please

okay I've got an early meeting so I'm

gonna run but I will see you at the

office okay you've had your fun you've

given me your warning well will you just

please go away already sorry

garlic I'm a ghost loan another vampire

you're a pain in the ass yeah hmm I

don't think so

until you actually heed my warning

you're stuck with me okay I'll heed your

warning right now just tell me what I

gotta do change your ways change change

them how to be better okay what do you

need me to do specifically that's the

other thing I was in the bathroom and

they explain that part tiny bladder this

is so unfair you die and I'm in hell

miss bourbon

Oh hold the elevator please

Oh sir your your briefcase by myself

really nice work guys that's exactly the

kind of event

[Music]

so sorry I'm late everyone

I was dealing with Caitlyn all morning

we were just getting to her have a seat

hey respect for the dead Missy you do

realize this party needs to go on as

planned

Caitlyn okay yes of course I'm on top of

it oh really because you missed your

meeting with the caterers this morning

oh I completely forgot um don't worry I

will go call them right now

sit back down Jason already handled it

you're welcome

now even though our client has expired

before fulfilling her three-picture deal

she can still generate revenue

I remember 6300 I'm so bored I thought

were you'd be talking about my memorial

it's not on my morning it's a party

Sloan you have something dad

well since they're doing a memorial

service for Caitlyn mm for Caitlyn and

since we're handling the premiere party

why don't we just combine them to make

them one big event her track her tragedy

will become a brilliant photo op that

that is a great idea you know movie

stars love opportunities to make the

public think they actually care about

people and if we spend this right we

could get every a-lister in town to show

huh what you think dad I love it

we'll turn Caitlyn's death into a gold

mine exactly what Caitlyn would have

wanted

we'll make Saturday an all day

Media extravaganza it'll be the biggest

PR event of the year

oh yeah I'm gonna need everyone to work

overtime as we know and then okay but um

Saturday's Christmas you said we could

take the day off

that was before I decided I needed you

to work but we won't get to see our

families our client is dead try and have

a little heart all right let's make this

happen

hey Sloan I know you've got a lot on

your plate right now so after I met with

the caterers I confirmed the party with

all the network's well you're just

wasting your time because I already did

that I was just waiting for them to call

me back so oh it wasn't a waste of time

see Carl was getting worried so I

figured somebody around here needed to

stop waiting and start doing have a

productive day did you see the way that

Jason sabotage me with the whole

catering thing he was helping you

Yeah right there's only one VP slide

opening up in the new year and he's

trying to steal it from me he better

watch out because I am gonna throw the

most talked-about star-studded event

ever awesome how I have no idea

good plan I have three days Jason's

right I'm screwed Sloan do you want to

do some yoga yoga no I'm too stressed

it's just a party it was now we got to

turn it into a celebration of your

entire life good thing I died young I

have to make a career retrospective make

blow ups of the spills of all the movies

that you've been in find other stars to

make touching anecdotes about you if

they even have one and figure out a way

to make death by cocktail garnish seem

dignified it's three days before

Christmas no one's in their office and

even we don't have direct numbers to

celebrities but I do

what is this thing

aluminum man you paid money for this

Sloan I'm a movie star disposable income

I where did you say I could find these

keys under one of those little rocks uh

yeah that's really helpful you know I

feel kind of guilty breaking into your

house like this shouldn't your parents

be coming over to take care of your

things Oh

both my parents are dead oh I'm so sorry

yeah apparently it's hereditary so

what's gonna happen with your stuff you

know maybe I should give some of it to

my charity right

your charity no seriously as the new

spokeswoman for project pearly whites I

am thrilled to announce that we've

already donated over 5,000 tooth

bleaching kits to the children of his

Becca Stan they may be refugees but now

they have something to smile about that

way my legacy will live on in their

hearts and gums forever well hey it's

Patrick Patrick hi um what's up Kevin

seem like an awesome girl oh I just want

to make sure you were doing okay oh yeah

I'm fine I mean considering it's really

sweet of you to call that's amazing

you still uh in the country line dancing

what when was I ever into country line

dancing try all through college

no that was you you're into line dancing

I only went along with it because I

thought the boobs were hot okay

well you know they also have really

great tacos you still like those yes

I still like tacos all right then how

bad or not still pick you up around oh

no wait sexy I'll wear the oversized

cowboy hat great uh I mean uh yeah yeah

well maybe you know I have to check my

schedule and then we'll you know it

sounds like a plan oh great okay ie what

was that what why didn't you make a date

with him I'm dating Andrew hello please

Patrick is so much better than Angier

you're just saying that because he

complimented you no I like him because

he's funny he's gorgeous and he smells

like cake I know he does right stop

anything with Patrick and I is all in

the past

I'm happy with Andrew but Pat you look

you want me to change my ways well then

help me out with pulling off this party

and getting that promotion and that'll

change my entire life fine there that

ought to do it I have got the phone

numbers of everyone who's anyone in

Hollywood now you do too

don't you feel bad for your own at me to

go away before I do I'm sorry

[Music]

you should be sorry sucker okay I've

texted email tweeted and IMed every big

name in town I I'm gonna go home get

some sleep when it's almost midnight so

I told you you are gonna be visited by

three ghosts at the stroke of midnight

for the next three nice you know I

really should have won Best Actress wait

so you mean you mean the crap you said

at the apartment last night was true

what you think I came back from the

grave to hook you up with Brangelina I

am so not in the mood to meet Casper

tonight

[Music]

why are you taking your shoes off oh I

missed the feeling of fake grass beneath

my toes okay what in the world is going

on right now the clock just struck

twelve

[Applause]

[Music]

like Brad he was my first boyfriend well

I first everything you okay but but

what in the world is he doing here

well since I came here to help you

change your ways but fix me love life

instead of a traditional ordinary boring

ghosts like they have Dickens I've

arranged for you to visit event spirits

of three ex-boyfriends wait a minute are

you telling me that Brad is the ghost of

Christmas past actually as your

ex-boyfriend he's the ghost of Xmas past

I have got to cheer

Oh merry xmas so bright that's what I'm

talking about

Wow rad I I can't believe it's really

you

oh my god are you dead yes it's because

of you I guess you can die from a broken

heart I'm just kidding I'm not the

actual Brad you dated

I'm just the spirit the role Brad you

know was alive and well I swear so why

do you look like him to help you

emotionally access your past because to

you Brad represents an idealized view of

love it took me like an hour to memorize

that seems you and Brad dated so long

ago I thought he'd be the perfect

ex-boyfriend to show you your past I

know you you're in blood prom you're the

one who got to capitated sorority sister

number two that was the first movie ever

then I saw your boobs Congrats ghost of

Brad meat ghost of Kaitlyn I hope you

don't mind if I tag along with you guys

I mean technically I'm not supposed to

horn in on the other ghosts time but I

got bored it's cool you should stay hang

out with us yeah it'll be a blast

yeah we'll ready to get started do I

have a choice no oh my god that's me and

my mom so cute what happened this is

where it all started okay now sweetie

what's the Golden Rule it's just as easy

to marry a rich man a siddhis an area

for one good girl see it's not really

your fault you're so shallow

you were just taught from a very young

age Oh so we're blaming all my problems

on my mother well guess what I'm nothing

like her are you kidding you're exactly

like her hey Sloan can I talk to you for

a second hi Darrin what's up

you know there's snowflake formal is

next week I know I can't wait yeah me

neither

Oh are you going no I mean not yet I

mean I I want you which is why I'm here

see I've always really liked you

oh my god here comes me oh my god here

comes Brad it was long I'm go to the

dance I was hoping you'd ask

dude he told the crotch blocked him that

was sweet

take a picture to last longer who's that

guy so are you gonna run my mouth

totally see that this is the first time

you let the guy hang you and someone

better came along not the last thing I

cannot believe might finally call you I

know okay I've been crushing out for

like ever so I need for something hot a

little bit so that when we go out

he'll want to see it exactly okay what

do you have okay

ideally I would like to find something

exactly like your worship a dress okay

okay

but under 10 bucks Oh what I know I'm ex

on my visa getting a plane ticket home

so I am Brooklyn well luckily for you I

know a little store called Sloan's

closet and I think you'll find exactly

what you wanted it you'll let me borrow

your worshipping dress although I'm sure

if you're wearing the dress I'm gonna

have to keep the dorm room cleared out

for the night

[Music]

Patrick because you worship you even if

you were in a paper bag I am stealing

our night

well speaking of clearing out babe I

didn't hi Patrick oh how sweet

it's the guy you dumped me for I dumped

you because I was going to college and

you were staying back to work in a toll

booth see trading up okay I'm gonna go

bye okay colored lights or red lights on

a tree color I'm blinking Louise one

strand burn all right it's my turn now

Christmas ham on Christmas turkey a

turkey duh ham ham for Easter never let

my grandma whom you say that you love me

with her big things I'm not kidding all

right all right

frosty or Rudolph the Grinch oh I've got

one okay

letters to Santa well we're sitting on

Santa's lap telling me what you want

oh definitely well I always figured I'd

have a way better shot at convincing him

to bring me the pony if I ask them in

person

yeah that'd never happen where's your

chance

hop on up there on that no waiting yeah

but that's for the kids I'm Way too old

no no you're not come on it'd be fun

tell standing at your Christmas wish

list

you know what I've already got exactly

what I want come on let's go buddy

this picture is adorable looks like you

guys were in love I never said we

weren't then how could you let this

happen

[Music]

what you do sneak out in the middle of

the night no I waited till he went off

to class and then I packed up my car

[Applause]

come on he was going off to medical

school in Iowa what was I gonna do there

wears some overalls and watch the corn

grow it was unfair of him to ask me to

go with him okay so you didn't trade up

from a guy you trade up for what glamour

a bigger paycheck I made a choice I'm

allowed to break up with a guy if I want

to but you didn't even have the guts to

Tom in person you were leaving him

that's cold Sloane even for you hey if I

want the opinion of some deadbeat lister

I'll ask okay Oh what's two chicks

fighting is hot okay what do you want

from me he was my college boyfriend

that's all it's not like we were to

spend the rest of our lives together

[Music]

he was gonna propose

I didn't know how was I supposed to know

that you couldn't have he didn't stick

around long enough to find out oh it's

barely a quarter carat I would have come

up with something better too

oh you went for something better all

right you made trading up and hard for

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

wait you suck with Jason you're such a

I like it you trained it up from

him to Andrew and that's where I'm gonna

say you know what's so wrong with

trading up the older you get the more

you know what you want but you're not

going after what your heart wants all

you care about is a shoddy rappings that

one's inside bull and Joe's everything

I've been looking for he's powerful and

vicious well-connected his family

practically built Hollywood plus he's

got an axe you just want to sink her

teeth into oh yes he does I'm not

training him in for anyone hmm

but what do you say the same thing about

you no doubt you're not the only one

looking to the shiniest pinion what do

you think he's doing all those late

nights what he's not with you meeting

with clients yes

lawn Klein's want to do anything to

break into Hollywood

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

nice nap you know I only got two hours

of sleep because of you and your damn

goes through he was lying was me I

thought you knew everybody knows

did you and Andrew do no it's like 30

gross jesus long you look exhausted heal

any clients see how I did you what was

that for the blonde I can't believe you

cheated on me it was really nothing to

me I can remember Sarah's name

Sarah Sarah Debora whatever look please

give it a chance to make this up to you

we've got our reservations at panache

tonight let's let's go out you and me

and just spend some time together how

the office let's not let my mistake turn

into a tragedy by losing our table

little mistake the only mistake I made

was trusting you and those reservations

are mine I'm going to dinner and you

can't come Sloan is that vodka oh my god

where did that come from

I'm sorry slaw this completely sucks I

know I'm never gonna get that promotion

now ages father owns this fun hell

he-he-hey

he practically owns half of Hollywood

and now that Andrew and I broke up he'll

probably fire me we might even have me

blacklisted oh god I'm gonna have to

move and do PR for people that are cast

mates on rock of love my life is over

yeah I know how you feel I'm sorry it's

fine

look Andrews a jerk you should go out

and bang someone else to get even that's

what I do

Patrick I'm not gonna sleep with Patrick

to get back at Andrew

okay well why not sleep with Patrick for

no reason at all

Sloan how you doing

ah good good no I am free tonight and I

want to see what you're up to

uh you want to go to dinner and I

definitely see you then thanks long I

heard you and Andrew broke up who's

winning now what adil V yes screw him

you know what we'll see who's laughing

when I catch a promotion so you know

that Andrews screw him too you know he

doesn't decide against the VP slap his

dad does and when I show Carwood a

kick-ass memorial that I can throw I

will give promotion whether I'm dating

Andrew or not I am loving the new you

screw you all you've got a party to plan

let's go to your house

okay you have to help me pick out the

most amazing dress to wear to my

memorial I wanna be the first person

ever to make it on the set strapless

costume Italy usually people were

something little more conservative in

the afterlife would I die of boredom

you look like big bird

I think we have a winner

I am one hot catch me okay now what now

I got a run oh I'm gonna be late to meet

Patrick for dinners okay you cannot go

to panache looking like that seen this

to patient little girl she's uh she

stuck six string beans

all the way up her nose one after the

other

oh my god what did you do I told her she

was mean right it's like deja vu huh

uh 7:00 dinner hmm me telling terrible

jokes and you molting okay it was the

only thing that fit I didn't have the

time to find anything to wear I've been

a little stressed it is a good thing

you're dining with dr. love dr. love see

the data dr. feelgood drink two of these

call me in the morning you were always

good at making me laugh

yeah yeah I've missed that I miss you

yeah well I gotta be honest I was a

little nervous about meeting you tonight

what why cuz you know what if you change

and you want the same girl that I fell

in love with what I was really scared of

is what if you hadn't changed and all

this feelings came rushing back

Patrick come here

Sloane Andrew what are you doing here

who's this guy

this is my boss Andrew Andrew this is

Patrick hi how are you doing I was just

gonna wait till Christmas to do this but

um okay what's going on here Patrick I

am so sorry I have no idea what he's

doing

Sloan this morning you told me that the

only way you would take me back was if I

could prove that I'm committed to you

normally you it's this person off I I

don't know what say

[Music]

I can't believe you did all this so what

do you say yes

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

are you happy I'm ecstatic we're getting

married

sweet still I thought you'd be gone

crossed over or whatever why would you

think that cuz I heeded your warning and

changed my life oh my god it's a glacier

congratulations

oh no that was quite an improvement on

the last rate about you what are you

talking about

that chimp Patrick bought you in the

past kaylynn I didn't choose Patrick I

chose Andrew oh good choice come on well

I'm gonna have it all but the perfect

job the perfect husband the perfect life

yeah well it won't be perfect you know

you haven't changed your ways at all not

at all hanging out by the ladies room

loser came to find you why to

congratulate me on my engagement

no because it's midnight so what do you

want to tell her or should I wait you

could see her uh the last guy that

dumped you I dumped you whatever makes

you feel better

either way I'm your most recent

ex-boyfriend slum meet the ghost of Xmas

present okay so you're not the real

Jason you're just a spirit that looks

like him bingo

and I get to show you all the ways your

bicha tude affects those around you oh

nice one thank you awesome this is so

much more fun than celebrating with my

fiance

oh you want to spend time with the

people you care about well guess what so

does everyone else

well stop Christmas just a day late

mommy has to work on Christmas Day

meaning what

the often exact rifice is for work but

you only make them when their benefit

whoo oh yeah

hey babe sweetie we should talk about

Christmas bonuses for the staff we'll be

lucky to pay them at all what's that bad

it is you know maybe once Sloane's

clients start using their gift

certificates business will pick up don't

hold your breath

Oh oh my god I forgot I'll just take

care of it tomorrow you're too late

the firm's gift bags are packed today

you missed your chance at least I

offered oh I'm sure that'll be a comfort

to them when the business goes under

we're talking about Sloane Spencer I

don't know why you even bother being

friends with her she was my roommate in

college what do you want me to do just

stop speaking to her all together if

that'll stop her taking you for granted

then yes oh that was fun you ready to go

you're gonna be so handsome hello hey

baby

bad news you're not coming home for

Christmas buy yourself something pretty

well she can just spend the day with me

and no one wants to be alone on

Christmas you're gonna be busy working

in Kaitlyn's party unless you think your

mom is worth skipping it no I can't skip

that I'll lose the promotion for sure

I'll just you're on the 26 who cares not

you that's for sure

I think you need a little brother

purebred show-quality wildly expensive

little brother all right one more look

at Xmas present to go I don't believe it

he was on the phone the entire time yep

hurts when someone you care about

ignores you huh so why are you showing

me this this isn't me doing anything

wrong I'm the victim here

no you're not he is

[Music]

Patrick goddang that guess he doesn't

like threesomes I can't believe I didn't

even notice him leave well why are we

watching this to try and make you

realize that your actions have

consequences if you go on treating

people like this you're going to end up

alone that's what I meant by changing

your ways

fine I'll call everyone and apologize

it's gonna take more than words hate

well

Caitlyn's party is in exactly 30 3 hours

and 10 minutes so once that's done I'll

make night so everyone okay oh she's

gonna make nice with everyone hmm

you just don't get it do you hi Patrick

it's me again um I really need to talk

to you so can you call me I still not

calling you back huh some people are so

inconsiderate these days I feel like I

haven't slept in three days I'm all

you've been running around with ghosts

all night would you expect

I'll never handful but arrested then I

have my entire life death will do that

to you

[Music]

how you doing babe I'm upset I got in a

fight with someone and I'm I'm not sure

how to make things right with him I'll

get him a basket of pears from Harry and

David or something we can't afford to

lose any more clients now that Caitlin's

gone

he's not a client he's a guy I knew in

college oh so no biggie but it is he's

my friend I I think I hurt his feelings

and I'm sorry I'm I'm really under the

gun here can we talk about this later

oh sure I guess

I'll tell you what go out and buy

yourself something pretty

it'll cheer you up

[Music]

you guys are gonna have an awesome

marriage oh my god I'm trying okay I

just I can't fix a lifetime worth of

relationships in one day we'll try

harder hey sweetie I've got my hands

full can I call you back

I really need to talk to you what's

wrong are you okay

yeah I just it's just I've been thinking

I know that my work has been taking up a

lot of my attention lately

and I just wanted to tell you I I was

watching the DVD of Caitlyn's career

retrospective and it includes the cops

episode where Caitlin got arrested for

shoplifting piece okay that whole thing

was so not my fault what I was gonna pay

for it but the pharmacy guy was smoking

hot okay you want me to go over there

and be like hello gonna buy some

ointment to put out the fire in my

underpants no it's humiliating oh and

there's nothing embarrassing at all

about stealing it um are you sure

because I think it's a little

embarrassing we put a copy in every gift

bag all 2,000 of them oh I mean yes

you're right get to get back back right

away know what I want to know is why in

the world with something that cuz I can

become a physicist hey Jenny its own

again I'm really sorry hey what happened

are you okay it's just I'm I'm

surrounded by crazy people here at work

and they just won't leave me alone

try me married to Ed okay he is so

stressed out he's acting like a total

lunatic this morning I really caught him

talking to a Cornish game hen long as

the chickens not talking back to him

seriously but you know what he's gonna

chill out once business picks up and

people start using those gift

certificates or sent out oh but gift

certificates you didn't send them out

did you um

soon you promised

really sorry there's just been so much

going on with work did you hear you got

the promotion

what oh um I'm sorry I'm gonna have to

call you back

sorry I got the promotion ah you gotta

be kidding me right of course I'm

kidding

why would they promote you so far today

I've set up feeds us the State

Department to allow the Vienna Boys

Choir to perform at the premiere I've

arranged transport and housing for 23 of

Caitlyn's childhood friends I just

confirmed Lady Gaga to sing paparazzi

Kaitlyn's favorite song and I just

negotiated with Elton John to rail lines

handling the wind to sing at Eton ins

Grayson I haven't showered I haven't

slept

I've got ex-boyfriends popping up left

and right and you want to take out your

prepubescent insecurities on me to make

yourself feel better it was just a joke

I don't have time for jokes now please

excuse me Oh

[Music]

have a productive day well done thank

you have to call Jenny back yes you do

Jenny

oh hey Sloane can you hold on just a

second she hung up on me

rare what Brad was right chick fights

are hot maybe you should send her a

basket of pears 11:30 it's almost

Christmas you know if you want to make

things right with Patrick you kind of

need to do it now where do you think I'm

going

[Music]

man it is really really nice to see all

right

hanging on the move down close eyes

sleep

my buddy

Patrick wait what I wanted to explain to

you about last night no that's okay I

understand what cooking apart for years

be silly for me to think that you hadn't

met somebody else in all this time but

what I don't understand is why you felt

the need to flaunt it different flan it

what do you mean we're on a date

and you left in the middle of that date

to get engaged what kind of a person

does that you don't understand I thought

that and you and I had broken up he

cheated on me see so I called you to get

back at him kind of who are you excuse

me who are you

I need Sloan the same girl that you fell

in love with in college no no you see

that song she was warm funny she cared a

lot about people are did nothing like

her I've never fall in love with a girl

like you now

[Music]

that's a terrible thing to say

[Music]

like are you going home you're not gonna

go straighten things out with Patrick no

he made it clear how he feels if he

changes his mind he knows where to find

me

slowly he was just mad I'm sure if you

talk to him he'll know that you're not

as horrible a person as you seem

thank you come on you know what I mean

look you have to go back there and

apologize to Patrick only thing I need

to do is go over the invites and

finalists of the party seriously after

all that you're still putting work first

it's all I have left

Merry Christmas

[Music]

goodnight you you mean you're the ghost

Xmas yet to come really cuz I'm pretty

sure I never been Santa actually that

sounds like something Katelyn would do

where did she go she can't come on this

one

her future ended the moment she died but

she will be there when I wake from this

morning why not she's gone

but she can't be gone for good I'm not

ready

you do realize that Caitlyn is dead

right

whether she leaves now or later she is

gone forever but I never got to say

goodbye we're good plenty of chances you

just wasted them all aren't you jolly it

is time to go see what your future holds

and I really don't have the time for

this I'm afraid you don't have much time

left period it is now officially a

Christmas Day

your future is about to be sealed and

once it is you can't change it let's go

[Music]

okay I'm heading up now I'm sure you

wouldn't like to come join my family for

Christmas dinner I hate the thought of

leaving you here all alone I'll be alone

I'm spending Christmas with my daughter

but she couldn't come visit this year

remember what are you talking about so

it's right here so bad girl wandering

away from mommy see we always spend

Christmas together Merry Christmas movie

Merry Christmas

say Merry Christmas love

[Music]

holy crap she's gone insane

no she hasn't she thinks that dog is me

I mean she always referred to them as my

brothers but as far as I knew she

understood that I'm a human being if

she's not crazy then what is she oh

you'd be so worried never leave mommy

never after her fifth husband Larry's

her fourth husband I know Carlos is her

fifth and after he moves out she will

fall apart

and since you certainly can't be

bothered with caring for her she becomes

obsessed with dogs whom she knows love

her unconditioned okay this is

ridiculous and you sound like an idiot

speaking in the future tense that's

because it's your future

come on oh you had me so worried

never leave mommy never good lord what's

she wearing when the restaurant went out

it's business the only job she could

find was waiting tables at the local

Applebee's

oh okay I refuse to take the blame for

that Sloane sent us a card I'll say it

No

okay that was harsh we're supposed to be

friends but you never acted like one

Jenny got tired of always being rejected

by you so she just gave up sooner or

later

everyone does

oh we're visiting Patrick now awesome

can't wait to see how he stopped caring

about me not to know we're not going to

visit Patrick actually after you walk

away from room tonight you never see him

again but I thought you said he still

loves me he does but you don't care

about love anymore okay squirrel you

Santa of course I care about love I'm

engaged

so that means that you're lying and if

you guys are my exes and I'm getting

married to Andrew then I'm not gonna

have a future ex-boyfriend wrong again

[Music]

how can you be my ex I thought we get

married yes we do we also get divorced

what why I only wanted different things

you wanted power and prestige and I

wanted the blonde okay no theatrics in

the end we both got exactly what we

wanted what do you mean you take half my

assets in the divorce have my clients

half my company you're set for life come

on I'll show you you can afford the best

of everything

[Music]

if we're not here to see patch and you

know we doing here

where are we going to see with all of

your money and promotions and power got

you

[Music]

that wasn't me

it is

but I look so young

where are my flowers where my visitors

why why my all alone because this is the

way you've chosen to live oh oh I didn't

choose this I never chose to be alone

but this is what you got all of your

wealth success it comes to nothing it

doesn't have to happen like this

I'll change it's too late Sloane no wha

I can fix this it hasn't happened yet

it's too late

you've already made your choice that

ring is on your finger

Patrick's heart is already broken

Caitlin is in the ground Christmas is

over please

chase don't let this happen to me

[Music]

Kalin where are you

Kaitlyn Shelly I I thought for sure you

would be gone no futures not quite here

yet

what day is it that's Christmas morning

it's not too late

I'm not too late I I can fix things yes

but you have to hurry right so where are

you going

the party's this way I know I know I

gotta find something really really

important more important my party that

it this is it okay let's go Hey and the

party so I'll just be there okay

just dinner come with the show

[Music]

Merry Christmas

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

using an SMTP

Sabrina didn't have any mails and

schotzie wants a little brother how did

you know about that it doesn't matter

all that matters is that I'm here I

didn't think I'd see you today of course

I come see you it's Christmas we should

spend it together I love you I love you

too sweetie

okay now gives you stuff together cuz we

are going to a party can I bring you a

little brother mom don't call him that

but yes you can yes this is taking us to

a party

[Music]

thank you for not giving up on me never

and you brought your mom I hope you

don't mind me showing up without an

invitation I'm more than marry her get

your butt in here I thought you had to

work today I do but I just wanted to

swing by here first to drop off your mom

and to apologize the way that I've

treated you it I've been losing a lot of

friends lately and I couldn't stand if I

lost you too never you're not getting

rid of me that easy

okay I'm gonna be back as soon as I can

I just need to go take care of your

Christmas present but she already got me

that a sweet baseball cap your real

present you think what I'm thinking I am

I will

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

Hey what are you doing here

you tell me we're working today no no

you know what take the rest of the day

off really it's Christmas go home and be

with your daughter son max sorry I'll

see you on Monday we already pulled all

the incriminating DVDs okay

oh good and they'll be space for these

hey I need you to put one of these in

every single gift bag it's very

important okay just trying to help a

friend's new restaurant take off we'll

have every celebrity in town in there

and that ought to do it

really nice of you oh you just called me

nice that's never happened before

[Music]

can I still go home of course Merry

Christmas

[Music]

Sloane you gotta admit camera

[Music]

kaitlin's somewhere i watching all there

oh yeah definitely and I think she's

loving it

[Music]

[Applause]

I'm coming to you live from the red

carpet at the snow angel premiere party

where all of Hollywood has turned out in

all its glamour to honor the memory of

one of their own it is a moving tribute

to a fallen star but don't you dare

touch that remote because we've got this

beautiful life cut way too short covered

from every imaginable angle right here

on showbiz oh it's gonna be a fun night

[Music]

[Music]

there you are

I need to talk to you and I need to talk

to you

miss vice president oh you mean I just

got word from my dad gratulations but

that it's gonna make this even harder

what Oh God

how do I say this my whole life I was

taught that relationships are based on

what the other person can do for you

rough financially emotionally or in your

career but I realize how wrong that is

it's not about what someone can do for

you it's about how they make you feel

when you're with them or how you both

feel absolutely I don't want to feel

like an accessory when you I need

someone that can be there for me

emotionally that listens to me and loves

me

the way that I love him

Andrew

Andrew

[Music]

I mean

[Music]

of course

I'm sorry

[Music]

I couldn't resist once more for old

times sake

so mission accomplished how did you get

your wings actually it's more like a

pitchfork no I'm kidding yes

[Music]

so then I guess this is goodbye and

you're gonna be okay

you kidding heaven is open bar and Heath

Ledger and James Dean yes sounds like

heaven to me you know I think that

you're gonna find a guy down here who's

almost as perfect well I guess I'll be

off

son

thank you for everything no I I should

be thanking you you gave me a whole new

life well good bye bye

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

I heard about the promotion and I just

wanted to say there is no freaking way

I'm bringing you coffee ever deal I'm

out of here

wait you're leaving where are you going

to get away

[Music]

Patrick

Patrick um I'm so sorry for what for

everything but what I said at the

hospital for letting you leave the

restaurant when Andrew showed up or

running away instead of taking your ring

and becoming your wife

how do you know about that I just know

most of all that I'm sorry that it is

taken me until now to realize how I feel

about you

when inside I've known it all I'm not

that horrible girl that you saw the

restaurant

at least not anymore Amy

Slone you knew in college and i would

love the chance to reintroduce you

she used to look something like this

oh my god I can't believe that you kept

this all these years of course I did

it's a present from the man that I loved

[Music]

you

[Music]

Merry Christmas baby thank you hey

Vivian my darling you look beautiful oh

I'm so glad you're here I need to get

back over to get back up you got an Adam

loser I'm going I'm going

did I ever tell you too sir about my

three marriages my first husband he was

tall I thought I was in love

my second husband he was short but he

was rich and my third doesn't know you

might be under the table right now you

merry merry exmas Caitlyn

hey Christmas everyone

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

hey Aaron its lone Spencer I was calling

to check on the arrangements for the

snow angel premiere party Sloane darling

it's going to be exquisite Valhalla

we're going to have 100 white doves

preset in cages over the entrance so

when Catelyn Quinn arrives we'll release

them picture the snow angels with all

those gorgeous white birds swooping

around Wow

now just one question Q what happens

when you stick those birds next to hot

lights for a couple of hours mmm

they die brain trust it's like sticking

them in a rotisserie do you want a

hundred charred roasted birds plummeting

down on the star of our movie no eating

game damn right you did now you have

exactly one hour to call me back with

ideas for premiere events that doesn't

belong

[Music]

Xavier I need some heat resistant does

[Music]

hey you can't park here that the

handicapped spot

you

we were starting to think you were gonna

take the day off

not at all I figured you'd like a latte

to get you through the morning you read

my mind

so how's the snow angels party coming

along awesome it is gonna be the biggest

thing to ever happen on Christmas Day

except for the whole Jesus being born

thing right it's gonna be bigger than

that exactly where are we with the press

well I've got phone calls out to all the

major networks I'm just waiting for

confirmation

wait they haven't confirmed yet this

party is in three days I know when the

party is and I'll make sure the networks

are there you know I'd be happy to pitch

in make some calls myself if someone's

feeling overwhelmed I'm not thank you

I've got everything under control

even Caitlyn of course Sloane

we've got a problem Caitlyn I know oh

god she's drunk again is she trying to

tank her career Caitlyn Quinn does not

make enough money to behave this badly

one of you two I'm on it I'll make sure

they take it down great anything I can

do to help yeah can you give me a Red

Bull I'll take one too thank god you're

here so I don't have to deal with this

idiotic Caitlyn can you believe they

told that video to the tabloids

stupid elves always looking to make a

buck I need you to fix this I know I

know it's an elf thing you were the

victim here don't you worry this loan is

gonna take care of everything

all right all right this is cold

sweetie listen you know we all love you

but you got to stop doing stuff like

this like what let me see attacking

Heidi Montag at the VMAs she provoked me

getting arrested for smuggling drugs

across the Mexican border

they were diet pills 200 of them the

camera adds 10 pounds

okay what about shoplifting a $4,000

coat from Prada like I told you I wasn't

shoplifting I was just so drunk I forgot

I tried it on oh okay I guess I should

have told the public that look Caitlin

you're starring in a family movie now

believe it or not there is such thing as

bad publicity snow angel it can make or

break your career if you blow this you

might not get another chance so you

might want to be just a little bit more

careful with the way you present

yourself to others like now for instance

Caitlin

[Music]

and Kaitlyn promised to lay low until

after the movie's release it's good work

Sloane is really good work good enough

to give me the promotion of VP I don't

know that's a big step

well you are the son of the firm's

president is there anything that I can

do to help influence that decision like

this or Haiti days yes and that works

for me just promise me you won't try to

influence my dad the same way are you

coming over later it'll be a lot later

I've got a client meeting tonight but

I'll tell you what why don't I take you

out tomorrow and we'll celebrate your

victory and handling this whole Caitlyn

this and we'll go someplace special why

not really that would be amazing I I've

been dying to go there I know so why

don't you call them and get us some

reservations okay will do okay that's my

girl

I talked to Caitlyn off the ledge oh

it's a Christmas miracle

well Andrew thought so you know I

stopped caring about who you date

exactly two seconds after I don't you

first of all I dumped you a second it's

just beautifully obvious how jealous you

are that I'm gonna get the VP slot

instead of you I think it takes more

than sleeping with the boss to get a

promotion yeah it's gonna take turning

the snow