Original subtitles

Ready?

Ready?

All right. Drive slow.

Stay in formation.

Sorry about that.

Don't have to apologize to me.

Three and a half. Seventy-five?

Now four. I got four and a half quarter. Now a half.

Four and a half and seventy-five. Now five. Five...

Seventy-five. Sold to the party in the corner. T and C.

Let's roll them, boys. Bring the next package in.

And here we have the first package in...

Those your calves, Uncle Herb?

Yeah, every one of them's mine.

Where did you get them?

Crossed them from Mexico.

I got 30 appaloosas.

Appaloosas?

- Studs and mares. - You got yourself some stock there.

- Yep. - Hey, Jim.

- I've been trying to reach you all morning. - Yeah?

- Well, they tested out your animals. - That's good.

Yeah, but the four best ones have dourine.

It's about the same as clap.

- Dourine? - It's clap.

Damn.

Well, I shot and burned the four of them and I cleaned out all the manure.

- You owe me $30. - How long will the rest be in quarantine?

Six weeks.

You have to wait for your money then.

Well, make it easy on yourself.

Hey, where did you get them? In a cathouse?

You know, Jim, you could sit right here in my place and do my bidding for me.

I get tired of coming out here.

Seven forty-five and a half. Seventy-five. Now eight.

Thank you. I'll think about that.

I got problems with my own operation.

Now nine. Now forty-eight.

Yeah, I gotta see a man about a loan in Tucson.

- I'll be up there later on tomorrow. - Okay.

Hello, Mr. Kane.

How are you?

He told me about the quarantine. I'm awfully sorry. What was the matter?

- It was the dourine. - What's that?

Listen, it's no worse than a bad cold.

I think he can see you now.

- I'm Jim Kane. - You don't have to tell me.

Oh, well, I'm sorry.

Well, we're having quite a day.

I don't know about that. I got this note coming due pretty soon.

The day after tomorrow.

See, I don't know what's gonna happen about that because I'm not in the chips.

I don't even have a nickel.

Maybe you could just pay the interest on it.

I don't have a nickel.

I guess we can carry another 30 days without the bank falling on its ass.

No, it's six weeks.

- Six weeks? - My quarantine's six weeks.

Fine, then.

- Well, I appreciate that. - Yeah.

Look, maybe next time you could stop farther south...

and bleed them yourself first.

Or maybe test them before you buy.

Well, I guess.

There must be some way of doing it before you get to the border.

Well, I'll just sure keep my eyes open.

Which is what you're saying, I guess.

Well, I'll see you in six weeks, then.

- I'll be here. - All squared away, as far as I can see, Jim.

Okay.

Well, hi, Jim. Where you been hiding?

I haven't been hiding. I just need a room, is all.

Fine.

I need it on credit too, because I owe Will Orr $30.

Well, you can have the maid's room, top floor.

You can understand that I gotta have a roof over my head.

- Of course. - Got to be good to myself too, you know.

You know, I been thinking about what you were talking about and then it hit me.

You see, I don't know how to bid.

Oh, you learn real fast.

Well, I can learn how. But when?

I mean, if you gotta sit there all the time and tell me when...

you might as well be doing it yourself.

How are you two dudes doing?

- How are you, Stretch? - What do you say, Herb?

Yeah.

Listen. Somebody I want you to meet. Won't take but a couple of minutes.

- Well, who's that? - He's a friend of mine. He's in the know.

He's downstairs with a car.

I told Stretch I'm not about to talk business up there in the club.

I'm not about to tip my hand for everybody to see.

Jim, this here is Bill Garrett. He's a big buyer from Amarillo.

Flew here this morning in a Cessna.

I've been in plenty of clubs with flocking on the walls. Glad to meet you.

Hey, Bill, he got himself a moniker too.

Oh, what's that?

They call him a Chihuahua Express.

Oh, they call you that, huh?

No, Stretch does.

- Well, that must come in handy in a row. - How do you mean?

Well, I mean, a guy figures that you're the Chihuahua Express.

Like that.

They could also think that I was named after that dinky dog.

I'd like to step right in here and say, ain't nobody gonna think...

- I don't care what anybody thinks anyway. - Let's just drop the subject.

I'd like to buy me some Mexican cattle, Mr. Kane.

I'm talking about rodeo cattle.

How many?

About 250 head is how many.

They tell me the best, they're running down around Rio Alamos in Sonora.

- Yeah. - Jim...

it pays $2 a head commission, plus expenses.

Now, when did you ever see that kind of money before, huh?

- Well, I've seen... - I'll give you the money to buy them.

Part now and part later.

Of course you get your commission when you bring them to Hermosillo.

Then I need my expenses up front too.

- Well, you're gonna get those. - You'll get everything.

How soon do you want them?

Well, I'm gonna say four weeks.

But if you could've had them here yesterday, I'd be happy.

- What, are you staying here in...? - Motel.

Out in Samoa.

Well, look, I'll let you know tomorrow.

- He wants to let us know, Bill. - I may be leaving for Chicago at 4.

- Oh, yeah? - You let me know in the morning.

Well...

I'll...

Okay.

I don't know exactly what to tell you, Jim.

I can talk all day, but I gotta make some money.

You go to work for that dude and you're gonna have problems.

You see, he was... He was friendly.

He's a hustler.

But you gotta go by your first impression.

- What did he want? - Some rodeo cattle out of Rio Alamos.

You'd be better off breaking pisshead colts than you would working for him.

Well, it's a job, Uncle Herb.

I'm not talking about a career.

You can get a job breaking pissheads. Frank Spring's got some.

- Nope. Closed him out. - Really?

- Couldn't get insurance on himself. - Well...

He ain't busting a pisshead one. They just closed him out.

Still I wouldn't get in bed with that Garrett whozis.

Well, I'm not gonna get in bed with him, I'll say that much.

I'm sorry to keep you waiting.

I had to make a couple of business calls.

Well, that's all right.

- I met a fella. - Yeah?

- Well, that's not the end of the story. - What is the end of the story?

Well, you're a cheater, he says. You're not all that honest.

You got an opinion about that?

Well, I got a private view.

What is this private view?

- Well, I think not. - Well, why did you ask, then?

You gotta trust your first impression.

Well, fine.

Fine.

If somebody cheats me, I'll hit him with a Stillson wrench...

and shove him down a culvert. - Yeah?

Yeah.

You talk that way, intimidating...

and I'm gonna move on down the line and not even listen to you.

- You talk like that and... - Well, listen, I'll stop, then.

I gotta go and see a guy.

I leave at 4.

I'll be right with you.

Is your friend pushing a lot of hamburgers in there?

Hi, Jim.

Hey.

You wanna do a nice thing?

What?

Well, I can't pay my alimony.

You're gonna make every payment.

Well, I don't know about that.

Well, I've got confidence in you.

You see, what I came down here is that I think we can be more friendly.

No, l... No, I can't be any friendlier with you.

It's okay. We used to be married.

I don't see why not. I'm as good as that rummy in there.

How do you know so much about him?

Because I hired a private dick.

- Oh, you tell me that. I don't believe you. - No, that's true.

Jim...

you're a baby. - I don't know about that.

Well, I can't be expected to get back together with a baby.

It's impossible.

Hey, sug. We got people around here who'd like to eat today.

Hey, Jim.

You take care of me, you hear?

Hey!

I'll take your cattle, what the hell.

- You mean you'll pick them up? - Yeah.

Well, that's my fender you're kicking, hotshot.

- You watch out about my fender there. - I'm sorry about that.

- Well, you wanna be careful next time. - Okay.

Chip that paint, that yellow, I'll never get a match.

- Well, I need some money for my expenses. - I understand that.

Hop in. Come with me.

Come on.

I've gotta have your name.

It's regulation around here.

You ought to get yourself one of these.

I got one.

Been happy ever since.

You got the rest of the bank drafts here.

I'll take real good care of your cattle, Mr. Garrett.

What seems to be your trouble?

Do you want anything with him?

Yeah. I'm looking for a guy by the name of Leonard, but you're not him.

Well, who are you?

Well, I'm a friend of his, first place.

Well, he's right up there.

But you better leave him alone.

No, he'll be glad to see me.

He says not to bother him.

Well, I don't care what he said.

Who's that?

Well, it's Jim Kane, Leonard.

Oh, Jim, I'm sick as a dog.

Well, you don't look so good.

You shoot me, you'd be doing me a favor.

- I don't think that's necessarily in order. - Well, maybe not.

Maybe you're right.

Well, I thought you was off somewheres.

Yeah, well, I was. For a while.

You looking for more horses, huh?

No, I'm looking for Corrientes.

Some people want them for rodeo purposes.

Horses, stock, it's all the same thing, huh?

I had an idea that was what.

You sure got a great mind, Leonard.

Well, I don't know about that, but...

- I got contacts. - Well, what are you up to?

I got a land deal on the back burner.

Oh, really?

Well, I don't have the land, but I got the... You know, the option is the same thing.

Well, now, where is it?

Well, I just don't necessarily tell everybody about it.

You can tell me. We're good buddies.

Oh, yeah.

Two peas in a pod.

Well, I need your help, Leonard, which is why I come down here.

You know me, Jim.

That's fine. I'm gonna need me some corrals first.

You got any leads on that?

Hey, Juan, you're making some noise down there, huh?

Well, I'm having a good time.

You go ahead, have a good time. I'm not about to stop you.

I'm having a good time and I'm not gonna stop.

You have a friend from the United States.

Oh, yeah. This here is my friend, Jim, from Nogales.

- He come down here to make a few bucks? - What?

You come here to screw a few Mexicans?

Juan.

Hey, you got it right there, friend.

I come down here to steal a few chili peppers.

Jim.

We have to be especially nice to him, otherwise he won't be nice to us.

He's the son of the big turkey down there.

Hey, Juan, he wants to rent some pens.

He'll have to pay for them.

He's a businessman, Juan. He knows that.

If he wants them, he's gonna have to pay like everybody else.

I'll tell you what, if he don't pay, don't rent him the pens.

I don't know what's coming next, but I'm not even listening.

- Wants to know if you'll mess with him. - I don't wanna mess with him.

I'm here, is all.

I'd advise you not to spit around here.

You might hit a sucker.

Hey, are these pretty good pens?

I like them.

You only say when you like something, huh?

That's right.

Well, listen...

I�m gonna take your word on this.

This one time.

I'd like you gentlemen to try one of these.

They are my favorites.

Thanks, Don Tomas. We're having a good time.

And that's what's important.

That is good.

Excuse me.

I'm not having a lot of fun eating tortillas.

You dropped your thing on the ground.

Because I come to talk business, Leonard.

Them pens or cattle. One or the other.

You ain't gonna have any trouble.

Hey, Juan.

Tell this gringo how you'll fix him up nice.

- I'll take care of him. - Well, come on.

Come over. Tell him you'll fix him up nice.

- He won't have a worry in the world. - He'll be just fine. Just fine.

See, I don't deal much with cattle.

- Which is why I need a good set of pens. - What kind of cattle?

Corrientes. Two-year-olds.

What about yearlings? I have yearlings for sale.

Can't use them.

I know a fella that can, but it's not me.

- Why not? - It's a question of what he wants.

There's nothing the matter with the yearling.

Well, why not, then?

The horns are too short, first place.

You buying horns?

Oh, you betcha.

- You're in the horn business? - That's right.

Goats have horns.

No, thank you, though.

Then what do you want with horns?

I like to stick them in things.

Well, listen, you know, you can talk all you want...

but I'd give you 1200 pesos for those corrals.

And I could not take less than 1500.

- Used them myself for a thousand. - That's true.

He could take less, Jim.

It's only that he doesn't want to now.

That's true.

Well, I'll meet his price, then.

He's gonna be a happy fella.

I'm satisfied.

Leonard, come here.

You're not getting a kickback on this, are you?

You're a horseman?

Yeah. I'd ride anything.

Even ride an armadillo.

A bucking horse too?

You're telling me.

You'll ride one of ours?

Now?

Yes, ma'am, if it's bareback.

They sure take care of her.

Don't let her do much.

Yeah. She must be the queen around here.

Remember, Leonard, I got a belly full of tortillas.

You're gonna be sitting on a buzz saw.

I won't be sitting on him long.

You wanna look good in Mexico, you hang on as long as you can.

Yeah.

I think I'll just settle this animal down a little.

Nervous.

Thank you, Leonard. I can't see a thing, Leonard. No withers.

- He's got withers, you just can't see them. - Okay.

Get up.

It's too bad your wife couldn't join you here.

Oh, yeah. Well, that'd be fine except...

she had her fill of me and we're busted up now.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, we're divorced, if you wanna use the technical term.

- Well, I'm sorry. - That makes two of us.

You know, I travel a lot, and I go places and I guess...

you'd call me a loner.

Maybe what I need is a family to make me feel nice.

You should have a family.

Well, I got this bad record with my ex.

Well, you don't have to tell people about that.

Yeah, but I just...

You know, I don't want to pull the wool over anybody's eyes.

I don't think you have to worry about it.

Have you always lived down here?

Yes.

Well, have you ever been out of the country?

You know, Texas...

or Chicago, around?

I went to a Catholic school in San Antonio.

Well, you've been around, then. That's all I wanna know.

Well, she really did a job on me, Leonard.

Yeah?

I keep acting the way I been acting, I'm gonna be in deep, you think?

Well, we'll be leaving tomorrow morning.

Yeah. I guess.

You'll just have to hold onto yourself a little longer.

Yeah. That's good.

I'd need a shovel to get at her, Leonard.

I'm not gonna go after her with a shovel.

Well, who said anything about that?

What you gotta do is you gotta move in close.

Look around. See what's cooking, then... out they go.

Boy, kicking dirt about 42 foot in the air, huh?

A couple of loop-the-loops, a little Mexican tailspin.

Pick them up, dust them off, and then just...

Know what I mean?

Well, I don't see how that works as a practical fact.

- But I'm prepared to take your word for it. - Well, you can take my word.

When you're...

laying all this stuff on some girl, she must know you're doing it...

when you're doing it. - I'm gonna have to say, that all depends.

- On what? - On what angle you play.

You know what I mean, angle.

Gotcha.

Boy, you're popping in a lot of them candies.

You know, these things are full of dextrose.

It's a big thing with athletes.

I'm running a Holley Carburetor on top here, Jim. A quad.

Doesn't mean a thing to me.

Well, I'm not exactly a man to trust when you've got me playing with a Holley.

I trust you.

You give me a Holley, though, I'm not the best man for the world's fight.

Hey, are we gonna wait here all day, or do you got some cattle to show me, Leonard?

Maybe you're right.

Maybe I just been shooting my mouth off.

Got some Corrientes at 10 o'clock, Jim.

Jesus, they're all skin and bones.

They're delightful looking cattle.

You'd be lucky if they graded 30 percent good.

- The rest is cutters and canners. - They'd make some nice entertainers.

- It's not me that wants them, anyways. - For whoever does.

It's the public that wants them, Leonard.

Not just any given individual.

See what you can get out of this thing.

Hang in there, Leonard. Hang right in there, boy.

Just you try it. Just try it.

Well, here's the spread.

He wants 500 pesos for every one of them jokers in the joker pen.

Well, I just about gagged on that.

How'd you go?

But I can give you my personal voucher he'll drop to 400, easy.

Still, I don't know whether it's worth the fight.

Neither do I.

Let's give him the 500.

And then leave. Not say another word. Cold shoulder.

You kidding me.

Otherwise we'll leave a bad impression, we come back this way again.

So what?

Well, you just can't buy your way out of a bad impression.

In the first place, you're gonna run out of cash, you go the full 500.

- The hell with it. - With what?

Lt.

The hell with it.

I'll just dip into my own pocket.

Well, you can count on me not to tell anybody about this.

- You can tell anyone. I'm paying the freight. - Well, there's no future in that, Jim.

I don't care.

It's no honeymoon down here. You gotta fight tooth and nail.

I'll fight. I just...

don't wanna fight here.

Well...

he got a real good impression of you, Jim.

That's what you wanted, right?

- No. - You said that was what.

I just said it would come in handy, is all.

Well, I ain't gonna split hairs.

I better take you way back in where his family is.

I always feel kind of silly getting on these things.

Hang in there, Leonard.

Nobody likes to leave home, Jim.

You know, I know this sounds ironic, but I never said nothing about this morning.

Well, look, you got the cattle in the corral out there. Why don't we go take a look?

Senor Valencia?

Jesus, they're dying on their feet.

I wasn't talking about their personality.

Hey, Leonard.

That's a beauty contest in there.

You betcha.

Of course, you don't see what's happening now, huh?

The old man ain't gonna let you touch them cows in there...

unless you take the old cows too.

We don't want a lot of soup bones. Let's get out of here.

You betcha. No. Wait a minute.

- Yeah? - I'll give you 500 pesos...

for each one of them Corrientes in that pen.

I don't want nothing to do with the others.

Hey, just tell him we can't take those old cows into the States.

They got a presidential veto on that.

Presidential veto.

- Did he say eight? - He said eight.

- Have they got a blood bank around here? - I don't see one, Jim.

I'll give you 500 pesos for them in there.

He's gotta have a little something sweeter than that, Jim.

Oh, let's pay him. This money's burning a hole in my pocket.

- You gonna have to cut down on that, Jim. - What?

In front of everybody.

- He couldn't understand us. - He could see you undermining my position.

I see what you mean, and I'm sorry.

Well, there's got to be another way, huh?

They look like a bunch of embalmers.

I didn't say anything.

Well, I can give you...

five hundred and fifty pesos.

Well, I'm not going back to my figures.

Oh, he's just trying to kick up a fuss.

Well, that's fine. Just fine. We got other prospects down the line.

You know, I been counting.

We're gonna be short.

Hey, look at mine, how it's open, see?

Well, this ain't enough. Stretch, I mean, it won't make it.

Well, we've got a supplement for you.

Supplement, a post-dated check.

You can cash it in two weeks.

That's how come it's post-dated.

- There's no amount there. - You just fill in whatever you want, see?

I mean, we trust you, Express. Even though you don't trust us.

Because you got a reputation to protect.

Man, you know, it sure is hot here.

I didn't think I could sweat, but I can.

Do you think you'll get them ready by the first?

We're gonna do our best.

Well, that's encouraging.

Tell you why. I want you to meet us in Chihuahua.

Chihuahua? I thought Hermosillo.

Well, Garrett had a change of mind. I mean, business consideration, you know?

He wants them cattle brought into Chihuahua.

Well, that's a tick zone.

If I take them into there, they'll be quarantined forever.

He got it fixed. He "knows a man, knows a man" kind of thing, you know?

But I don't care who he knows.

I mean, if I take them in there...

I'm telling you he's got it fixed. Garrett ain't like you.

He ain't walking around here in Mexico with a heat rash or something.

Let's forget about Garrett.

I want you to tell me where I can get me one of them gals with them...

you know, clickers?

The whorehouse.

- What? - Sure. Zone of tolerance.

Man, you're out of your mind. I don't pay for it. I go Dutch.

There's a pimp over there at the hotel. You tell him about that.

What? You're mixed up. I mean, I'm talking about disease...

you talking about some pimp friend up at the hotel?

No, he ain't no friend of mine.

Hey, you know a lot of gals around here. Why don't you take care of it for me?

I work cattle, Stretch.

No, no, no. We rented the pens to keep them in the pens.

We didn't rent the desert, the desert's free.

There's hardly any grass, so the sucker turns them out on the grass.

- Why'd he do that? - Because he hasn't fed them.

He sold the feed. He says it's not true, but I'm gonna find out.

You don't like my work, senor, you only have to tell me.

Well, if what Leonard said is true, I don't.

What I'm saying is true.

Fine. We're putting the cattle back in the pens.

Tomorrow, all of this will be forgotten.

- I've got a memory like an elephant. - He doesn't forget things.

And that is good for him?

What he's saying is that you're fired.

Oh, Jim.

I don't think we ought to go that far. His uncle is the ministerio publico around here.

I don't care if he's the big chief.

That's what I meant, big chief.

I still don't care. He's gonna get a pink slip says he's fired.

I have wasted my time with you.

Well, we're both in agreement about that, so we ought to feel pretty good.

Leonard.

You gotta run a tighter ship.

If we get our heads together down here, Jim...

we could make a lot of money.

We could eat it with a knife and a fork.

Well, I ain't gonna check, but they all bulls?

In this country, senor, we do not castrate.

Well, now, if I was buying, I could give you a better price for steers.

You would be getting inferior cattle.

In my country, they say that...

castration changes their mind from ass to grass.

Maybe he didn't get that one. You ought to translate it.

- Why don't we just let it ride. - Say it was a quote.

- Let it ride. - Say it wasn't my idea.

I've decided to let you have 19 Corrientes at 500 pesos a head.

Give you 400.

Your friend told me 500.

- No, I said... - No. He said it was up to 500.

That's a distinction.

For that spotted one, though, I'd go...

five hundred for that. - Eight hundred and fifty.

- I couldn't take any less. - No, 600.

I couldn't hardly pop for any more.

We cannot trade.

Lay back with old Leonard. He'll come down.

I got a grudge against the mother.

Well, lookie there.

He's not happy, not today.

But he's coming our way. He may try to get us to go higher...

but I got an attitude about that.

Home free.

Yeah.

A lot of people have had to walk that same path, Jim.

Those long hundred steps.

I have been waiting here for you, senor.

You must have been waiting six days because that's how long we've been gone.

Yes. Yes, I have been waiting.

I have been waiting for you.

You're not gonna get that one past me.

Because you haven't been sitting there for six days.

Now, you quit hitting at me, friend.

I'm not a boxer and I'm not a roundhouser.

You forgot to pay us some wages.

Well, two things:

First, I hired you, not them. And second, I already paid you once.

You been sucking on that mescal bottle so much you can't keep things straight.

You forgot to pay me some wages. I don't work for nothing!

And you talk to me about wages.

Jesus Christ.

No, it's okay, boys. I got it. Everything's gonna be A-okay.

Nobody's hurt, just a little fun.

Here's your old sombrero, pal.

Now remember, I had nothing to do with it. Just an accident.

So leave my tires alone, huh?

Hey!

Hi, Jim.

I got something to say.

Oh, yeah? What's the matter?

There's some secret police downstairs.

They come around when you're in trouble.

So, what do you mean?

It means they wanna put you away for a while.

What do they want with me?

They're gonna take you into town.

That won't do any good, running that way.

They'll just impound your pickup.

Pickup?

Listen, I got a plan.

Seeing as how you gotta go along anyway...

why don't you let me turn you in?

It would look good for me, help me around here.

I don't know about that.

- Well, the end result's gonna be the same. - Still!

I'm not gonna run out on you, Jim.

I'm talking about the end look of the thing.

Now, here's how it works.

We're gonna go through that door, right there.

Gotta see some people, if you know what I mean.

- Who? - I ain't gonna say in front of everybody.

Guerro Chavarin, a nephew of mine...

has charged you with injuries to his person.

Well, I mean, he come at me swinging.

He should've been there.

Well, he has made a complaint against you.

But he's willing to drop the charges if you will pay the damages.

I wouldn't pay him 20 cents Mexican.

You won't pay?

He could've had a pistol somewhere.

But my advice to you would be to pay.

I don't even have to think about what I'm gonna say next, which is no.

It's a matter... It's a matter of principle.

It is a matter of 6000 pesos.

Well, that's a lot of pesos.

You must go with him.

Well, I'd rather stay here in town.

You will not have to leave town.

Well, then, l... I mean, I'm just going back to my hotel by myself, huh?

We can discuss that some other time.

Say, friend, you couldn't spare a cigarette, could you?

I ain't got one.

I'm trying to quit.

You kill anybody?

No, of course not.

- Just exactly what I mean. - What did you say?

I mean, I didn't either, but here I sit.

Oh, yeah? Why?

For one, I didn't have a passport.

And two, wouldn't nobody listen to me.

You gotta have a passport, you wanna score around here.

Well, I don't have a passport, but then, I don't wanna score.

Of course, I don't mean "score" in a big-time sense of the word.

I just mean, take in the sights when you want.

Not stay locked up.

Well, I thought that's what you meant.

Tell them you don't need a damn passport. They won't listen.

Well, they got their own ideas, I guess.

How's that?

All they gotta do is phone Marshall Field's in Chicago.

They got all my damn references. They'll vouch for me.

I got a friend, name of Leonard.

I kind of count on him to find an angle.

You think maybe he can find one for me?

Many as he's got.

Three thousand pesos.

Look, I only wanna sell the thing.

I can't do much better than that.

You gringos can get in trouble for selling a car here.

Not that much trouble.

Still, I can get in a lot for buying one.

You don't think we ought to share the risk?

No. No, no.

Well, that's how it goes, friend. People share risks.

Well, not around me.

You know, I really don't understand your attitude.

Now! Now, now.

Where did you get the money?

I sold your pickup.

That hoodlum's out there somewhere.

Figuring up things, getting new angles on things.

Yeah.

You think?

He's probably on his hands and knees someplace, drunk.

Where?

Some dark place. Full of pulque.

Yeah.

Jim, you gotta understand the character of these people.

They live a rough-and-tumble life.

They don't have a word for "rough-and-tumble." Did you know that?

- I'd like to run him over with a car. - Hey, now you think twice about that.

Because you'd be the first one they'd suspect.

First on the list of suspects.

Hey.

Hey, boy!

Here. Right here.

Now, every time he sees a rock lying in the street...

he's gonna be thinking about you. - You betcha.

- Do you have an account here? - No.

The thing is, a fellow by the name of Russell does.

Fine. Let me take your papers.

- I'll be a moment. - Right.

I'm sorry, senor, but this account has been withdrawn.

Wait, are we talking about the same guy?

I mean, a high roller, name of Russell?

Anything else I can do for you?

You have this happen much?

I don't think so.

- You straightened out there, Jim? - I'm fine.

You look fine.

Well, what do you mean?

Just let's get the cattle down to Chihuahua and find those bastards.

Now, what are you gonna do about the weight on these things?

They're for rodeo. I don't care about weight.

The reason I asked is they're losing weight fast.

- Maybe we could put some fill on them. - How's that?

Starve them the last couple of days before we get to Chihuahua.

Then fill them up with hay and water.

You think that would be right?

You mean, could I square it with the man upstairs?

That's not what I mean, Leonard.

- Listen, once there was this old man. - Yeah?

Well, that's not the end of the story.

There's this old man and he had an old plow, and an old mule...

and an old dried-up prune of a wife and a little shack.

Well, one day that mule just up and died on him.

And you know what he said, Leonard?

He said, "Them that has must lose."

Joker, huh?

No, he was serious.

"Them that has must lose."

Who did he think he was fooling?

He was just expressing a point of view, Leonard.

Well, he was a joker, then.

Well, he was there in the scene, Leonard.

He'd know what to say.

You can lead a "Ha-ha" to water but you can't make them:

You know, they say that every man has a star.

Now, a guy should find his star out there...

unless he doesn't have one.

Which is maybe the case with me.

If what they're saying is right...

why, guys could just follow their stars.

But not me, because I don't have one.

I didn't know what I was saying, was that interesting.

I heard a noise.

The cattle are shuffling out there.

No. There's this one guy calling another guy a shitheel.

Really?

Maybe we better go check.

Sure, him thinking that we wouldn't worry about just a few head.

You let that happen every day, it adds up, though.

I got a heater.

Oh, let one of the hands go take a look.

What's the matter with you?

Well, Garrett's gonna cheat me anyway.

Trouble is, they're his cattle, not mine. Guess somebody forgot to think about that.

Give me that thing.

It's been fired.

The smell goes away after a few hours.

What was it?

Well, he was shooting at somebody.

A rustler.

I don't know why, but those two spotted ones always seem to stick together.

Buddies. They got buddies too, Leonard.

Reminds me of two hookers I knew in Flagstaff, or was it in Kansas City?

Here comes Big Red.

- Boy, that's a real high diver there. - Yeah, he didn't seem too bad.

Look at the submarine he's got.

Okay.

You know...

if I was to stay in this branch of work...

first I'd get me some hogs.

Because they only muss one corner of the pen. Did you know that?

Hogs.

Now, you guys have done some terrific work.

And maybe I can't give you a letter of reference...

but you got my respect.

And if we ever get down this way again, with any luck...

we're gonna look specifically for you, you, you and you.

Or if we got some friends coming down here...

we're gonna put them onto you.

But either way, no matter how you cut the slice...

somebody is gonna be thinking of you.

If we don't have enough money...

to pay the railroad or the trucks when we get there.

Garrett will be waiting for us.

But you were saying how slippery he was.

Well, it's just in his best interest.

Here.

Tacos. Tacos, tamales. Tacos, tamales, tacos.

No, I don't think so.

Look, come on, F.O. Pal.

Hey, did you ever think about colored salt?

- What? - Salt. Colored salt.

So you know when you've shaken too much on your food, you know?

I don't think most people can tell when it's white.

I never thought about that.

Well, there's lots of salt down there.

And the dye you could get from the States.

Something to bear in mind.

Hey.

You know how they call me the Chihuahua Express?

Well, I never heard that.

Well, it's not true. I'm not.

Well, I wouldn't worry about anybody standing in line for the title.

The only reason I bring it up is just...

one reason why I wish we were going to Hermosillo instead of Chihuahua.

We'll go to Hermosillo later.

Gotcha.

- Are you the ones? - What do you want?

I have the trucks ready.

Well, where's that Russell?

- Who? - Stretch Russell.

Who is he?

He owns the cattle. Or a guy by the name of Garrett.

- What's the difference? - I don't know.

You asked for the trucks. I have brought them.

You want to come with me or you pay me here?

Look, he'll be along. In the meantime, why don't we load the cattle...

then we'll take care of these railroad jokers.

This is a tick area.

- We have a problem with ticks. - That's simple.

- Where are the cattle now? - Down in the stockyards where they belong.

Well, we will have to put them into quarantine. For 60 days.

- Quarantine? - You didn't know?

Me? Hell, I wrote the book.

This confederate of mine, this Garrett...

he was suppose to put the fix in with you guys.

Don't let them boys talk you into anything.

Yeah, but I'll bet plenty have tried, huh?

Most who try are big shots.

Well, I'm a cattle broker.

You smell like one.

That's silver dollars you smell, honey.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

You know, I come down here for tax purposes.

Maybe you had your own reasons.

I'll tell you, honey. I ain't gonna bury that silver in some safe place...

or a lucky spot, you know?

Senor...

I don't need your money.

But you need devotion.

- I should've said that in the first place. - Stupid donkey.

Hey, mister, shine your shoes for one peso.

Come on, mister, only 50 centavos.

Just like I said, tick zone.

Where are your buddies?

Oh, they'll be by pretty soon.

Well, watch out if they don't.

You think they're gonna pull a fast one?

I never met them and shook their hands, so I can't say.

Look, I only met them once, Leonard.

Well, we're gonna have to stake them out.

Take a hike.

Hey, I know you.

Well, lookie here. It's the Express.

- Yeah. How are you, Stretch? - I'm all right.

Well, I'm feeling real fine because today is payday for me.

You happy, huh?

Well, something gonna put a damper on your payday.

You know the steers you brought? Every one of them is in quarantine.

Well, that's exactly where I said they'd be.

I said it twice and then I stopped.

They're gonna be in there for 60 days. And you know what happens?

The bottom drops out of the rodeo market. It just goes deader than a doornail.

Well, hey.

I don't know about that. But then, see, I'm not a big rodeo promoter like you.

Listen, Garrett has had to put up another $ 1000 just to feed them.

Now, not even can he sell them suckers, but he can't pay to feed them.

I don't know what to tell you, Stretch.

We're not trying to get out of anything.

I mean, I said we gonna pay you $2 a head, we gonna pay you.

What you got there?

- Five hundred dollars is what I got here. - Let me study it.

All right. That's all right by me.

I mean, you wouldn't try to sneak nothing by me...

because you got a reputation to protect, right?

How you want that, cash or check?

I want cash, now.

You know, your... Your last check didn't work.

All right. There it is. Five $ 100 bills.

You know, I gotta meet up with somebody.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Now, then the next thing that we gotta get to:

Five hundred and sixty dollars expenses.

- Now you... - That's not very much.

- Look here... - I wrote it all down if you wanna look.

- Now, look... - I haven't even paid the railroad.

I'll tell you what, you keep writing in that book, Express...

because we've got a 60-day quarantine to face and we gonna face it together.

- I'm sorry about that. - Well, you can just be sorry about it.

We are in financial trouble and you come to me with expenses.

No, that was part of the deal.

I had to pay them, see? That's what makes them expenses.

Well, I can tell you one thing:

Garrett ain't gonna like it one bit.

I don't work for nothing. Now, I wanna get some action on this.

Be quiet. Come on with me.

What's the matter?

Listen, I'm a middleman. Don't you understand about middlemen?

The steers you brought wasn't too bright. Some of it must have rubbed off.

Well, I don't know about that. I gotta figure out about this.

Express, there ain't nothing to figure.

So get your mind right about one thing: I just work for the man.

If he won't pay, I can't make him.

- Well, the best thing is... Where is he? - I don't know.

Told me he had a sister once, lived up in Denver.

Well, she's probably married and changed her name.

Could be. But I'll tell you one thing:

I don't have time to stand around here and talk about it, see?

Would you please do something about this money?

Boy, you better get a hold of yourself.

Hey.

Are there any calls or messages from that guy Stretch Russell?

- What? - It always seemed to me that I should be...

in some branch of detective work.

Hey, you on to something?

Well, I operate on the principle:

If you've found one, you've found the other.

So here's how I worked it.

I was just sitting on the curb back there and Stretch walked past me. Right past me.

So I followed him.

There's a funny smell in here.

Mexican Western Union.

Come on in.

Say, is there a laundry service around here anywhere?

- I didn't invite you into my room. - We came in without an invitation.

Well, get the hell out of here! Both of you!

- You taking a bath? - No, I'm not taking a bath.

I happen to have a lady in the other room.

- Now, what do you want? - Garrett's what we want.

Well, I don't know nothing about him. I'm only up here with a lady.

- We've come for him. Where is he? - You asking the wrong man.

I didn't see a lady, but look what I found.

Yeah, well, there's $50 maximum in there.

You shot the moon on your accommodations here, didn't you?

I bet you even got a sunken bathtub back there.

It's an expense account item, that's why.

You think you can tell us where he is, because I'm pretty angry.

- Well, I don't keep tabs on him! - Don't make me use any of my stuff on you.

He's right downstairs in the barbershop.

I don't wanna worry about him when I gotta worry about what he's talking about.

I'll stay here, Jim, just in case.

Excuse me.

Hey.

You haven't got a real knack with people, cowboy.

Well, neither have you.

I don't like you busting into my private situation.

I busted in to talk some business.

What business? I'm done with you.

If you got any more to talk about, you take it up with Stretch.

You're the one that's gonna pay. Now, you better know that.

The only way you can make me really mad is create a scene.

You wanna talk, you make an appointment. You don't raise hell in here.

Hey, you didn't pay the barber either.

Hey, don't mess them shirts. I can't find the laundry around here, you know.

Gotcha.

We sure had you figured wrong.

I told Stretch you had a head on your shoulders.

What did Stretch say?

You ask me that now, I don't remember.

Now, you both together owe me $560.

- Less the 40 I just took. - I don't owe you a dime.

Stretch made a deal, went over his head.

- Way. - Well, that's your problem.

Look, son, everybody has a bad experience once in a while.

But you really gone off the deep end.

Look, I gotta make a living just like everybody else.

You coming into my room. You leave me alone in my own room.

Listen, I want my money up front, right now.

You can't wait for anything. You gotta have it right now.

You owe me money.

I wouldn't be here if you didn't. And I wouldn't be angry either.

You ought to straighten him out.

Well, he don't wanna listen, Bill. He thinks he's doing fine.

I never said that.

See what I mean? Doesn't leave any room for criticism.

I been busting my ass for four weeks. I gotta show some payment on my books.

Look, I don't know anything about that.

But read the papers. The bottom has fallen out of the rodeo market.

Everybody's gonna take a dive. Me worst of all.

Stretch, if I could think of a single reason why I should pay him...

- I mean, he don't wanna think. He's crazy. - I tried...

- Just give me one good reason why... - He doesn't know what he's talking about.

No particular reason.

You're not impressing me at all, cowboy.

That's hotel furniture and I'm sitting here waiting for the house dicks to come.

But you're the one that's gonna have to pay.

Who the hell is he?

Listen, there's money around here. I smell cash.

Let's just have a look at that money belt.

What are you doing?

Don't do it!

Wait. Wait. Wait.

This is gonna hurt in a few minutes.

Son of a bitch. Get me a cold cloth, Stretch.

I'll take a little breather here.

This is gonna be $ 1000 worth of bridge work.

Maybe $2000.

Thank you, Stretch.

Look, I didn't pull any rough stuff on you.

You know, we can stay around here all night, if you would like.

No. I got some things I gotta check.

Well, I can stay here by myself, Jim.

Hey, we don't wait around for anybody, Leonard.

You're gonna pay up sometime.

And in the meanwhile...

you ain't got no dignity.

First and second on the list of suspects.

What did you do that for? Is there something wrong with my mouth?

Well, them horses of yours did have the dourine.

Well, we better keep our mouths shut about that.

Yeah.

Did you see me dump that television out the window?

Hey, man, I was there.

- I just run it right out the window. - You don't have to tell me.

Want a beer?

The police will have their eye open.

We don't have anything to worry about now.

They can always find us if they want us.

The place is crawling with spies.

What you thinking?

Nothing.

You wanna know what I'm thinking?

Yeah, okay.

I'm thinking...

about a big can of yellow peaches.

He could have sold his car, Leonard.

I'm talking now in a more serious vein.

No, he wouldn't pay.

No, he wanted to pay, he just said he couldn't.

You know, I could've cut a dollar sign on his belly.

Hey, Bill. Bill. Excuse me, Bill...

but I got a problem.

I look down, and I seem to find a Mexican boxing glove in my hand, huh?

From now on, they're gonna call you Dollar Bill Garrett.

You're just gonna have to live with it.

You might be able to get it off with plastic surgery, but that's up to you.

Do you think that would have scared him? Scared the hell out of him?

Oh, I don't know.

I don't think he would get much nookie cut up like that.

Then again, he might get a lot.

Girls would just sit there, think he was something else.

But you think it would have scared him?

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know.

Well, the only way we'll ever know for sure, is to call him up and ask him.

- He won't say. - I don't know.

Leonard, you come down here, you bust your hump and what do you got?

You got me, Jim.