Original subtitles

Welcome everybody

I am Ryo

I am Mandy, Ryo's partner

We are the hosts for tonight

We are both green in being hosts

And hopefully there won't be any mistakes

We will support each other

Please forgive us for any negligence

Ryo, among all your buddies

Do you know why Jackie picked you as his best man?

No, he didn't tell me

Since you are not handsome enough to steal his show

Actually, when Jackie and I were in high school

I almost fell in love with him

Anyway, as the bride and the groom have taken their seats

Before we ask them to come up on stage

Let's review their fairy tale

Okay, before we ask the prince and princess to say something to us

Let's watch a video about their love story

Please give a big hand

A big round of applause

"Stay away from a wounded woman"

"She who is abandoned can be cruel"

"it's all your fault, hurting me to the end"

"Trampling on me whilst I was dying"

"I have given up all hope, except revenge"

"I pray to the God to punish this man"

"I believe something terrible is fatefully waiting for you"

"The day of redemption is close"

"My heart is bleeding, but soon yours will too"

"The roles will be exchanged"

"Let the one that you love and cherish the most"

"Ruin your life with no mercy"

"I can't wait to see how you get strucked at heart"

"As tear goes by"

"May you realise what is torture"

"And what is karma"

Thank all of you, for coming to witness our special moment

You are welcome to finish the dinner or take your money back

Bye

(I won the race. Shall we celebrate?)

(Spider to Moon)

I am tired today. You take the lead

Dinner time

Okay

Taiwan... A film?

No way. He is just an underwear model

Maybe even wearing nothing

Just like the two poor guys at that ridiculous wedding

Mom you have a good sense of humor

How can one live without it?

Do they shoot girls? I can do it too

Look at you! Talking nonsense

Sooner or later, you will fall prey to a man

Doomed

I am taking Rice Noodle to the vet

There is food in the fridge

From now on, I will act as your wife

What's wrong with you? Still texting me!

You want to marry me?

No man wants to get married

You suppose mainland girls are easy?

I got to hold big banquets in my hometown

To buy a car and a house, to take care of my parents

How much can you earn from climbing those rocks?

I see. You make use of your birthday to propose

Silly boy

Why don't we do it once more?

Bye

When shall we stop pretending?

When someone better comes along

There is no such man

Boaster

But soon I will go to Taiwan

I'll go with you

I know you won't allow it

Let's celebrate anyway

Happy hour

If all women are like you, the world will be at peace

Life became boring, as my kids are all grown up

What a way to show off

Not really

Sorry, I am late

Take a seat

Luckily my Popeye is obedient

Dogs are better than human beings

My Angela baby is not well lately

Angela baby?

She is more beautiful than the actress

lam avet

What a coincidence

Do you know Kwok, the famous lawyer?

His expertise is in cases regarding disputes over family assets, right?

- Yeah, - I knew him then

I may need him too

I cured his dog

Really?

You're not kidding?

When will you have time?

How about next week?

Our baby is saved

I will check the schedule for you

(I have bought you a new helmet. Let's go for a ride)

The Queen is coming!

Sorry guys, sorry

His girl looks like me

Nobody knows. Don't worry

Me?

I have nothing to worry

Let's do it once more then

The first boyfriend of every girl

Either resembles her father or her elder brother

Our father is long gone

But what we've done is wrong. You may give birth to a retard

Shit!

You forgot the condom

I don't know where you keep it

Never mind

Then you must go see the doctor regularly

And I don't think I can go to Taiwan

That's great

I can be with you then

By the way, where did you learn that?

Make love?

Porn, of course

Let me tell you a secret

Mom and her auntie friends

They watch porn together before cooking dinner

You suck!

You scared me! Why are you here?

You should have seen it. I am seeing someone else

I was first

So you speak finally. I thought you were dumb

First come first served'? I am not a commodity

And you can't afford me anyway

I love you

I loved you too

But what can love do?

We had been in love for so long, everything still sucks!

The only thing you can satisfy me with is sex

I am a woman

I need someone to pamper, support...

Protect and take care of me

Help!

Did you tell him?

Yes, but he wouldn't let go

That day he even...

What?

He forced me to have sex with him

Sue him for rape!

No!

It's all up to you then

Should we call the police?

You have done that by telling me

Step, touch...

Okay

Well, remember not to throw your back into the dip

You need to remember to support your weight on your foot

Okay. So we try that again

Step, touch...

Nice and easy

There we go

Even better

You'll be my private coach from now on

I'll pay for all your time

I can't

I have other obligations. I am sorry

Let's see!

At last, veterinary uniform, digestants for dogs...

You are not going to do surgery, I suppose?

Go get the printouts

I also need the information about that rich woman

To be insightful

I got to check it at the police station

When is your appointment?

Wednesday

That's still manageable

Next time, please allow more lead time

Baby

She has slept for a whole day

My F>Oor baby

The doctor is coming to see you

Be good, baby

Be good

Baby

Let me handle it

Thank you, doctor

There is filming today, I can't stay

Hey, handsome

Can you do me a favor? It won't take long

Baby

Baby!

What did you feed her?

What have you done to her?

Why don't we take her to a vet?

Aren't you a vet?

Baby

The dog is big, maybe I overdosed her

Didn't you say you cured lawyer Kwok's dog?

Let's go

You need him now. I am suing you!

There is no way for her to sue us

She doesn't have my address, and lawyer Kwok is just someone I made up...

This case will be adjourned fourteen days for trial

The defendant Hung Chi Ngong is granted bail on his own recognisance

What are you here for?

To shut me off?

If you promise not to come again, I will withdraw the charge

If you were jailed, you couldn't see me anyway

Moon, I forgive you

Don't go

Sister Kwan, long time no see

I've come to have dinner with him, but he didn't pick up my call

I don't think he can

The Queen has booked him till eleven o'clock

The Queen?

A big customer, very overbearing

She said only private teaching

Your girl?

Yes

A dominant woman

How do you know?

She looks like me at her age

In fact her name means King and yours is Queen

Does she dance?

Not really

She dances better with dogs

Moon, look!

Gone

What's happened?

That day he looked so... Did I go a bit too far?

He is the one who went too far

Let's sleep. I work night shift

Shall we drop the case?

Are you out of your mind?

It is a perfect case to lock him up for years

I have a feeling that he will come to us

God!

So what?

Don't you remember what I do?

I can protect you

It's even harder than going to work

But you seem so easy, like the master of the house

What do you mean?

I think you are enjoying your role

Being an old lady's man

What the hell are you talking about?

Do you have to speak English now?

So nervous

There is a devil in your heart

I need to earn a living. I am not your dog

What are you doing?

Long time no see, so you feel strange?

I am your boy friend! Don't you even recognize my dick?

You!

Sorry, Rice Noodle. It's alright

Did he scare you?

Am I supposed to recognize this?

Pervert

There was a director at the swing party that night

What's on your mind now?

To be an actress

In recent Hong Kong movies

There is always an actress who can't speak Cantonese

Haven't you been acting all along?

That's different

Please check for me where the director dines

Whether he is gay

What chest size he prefers

Check out the gossip magazines

I have a big case to handle

Okay, that's a good one

Alright

Yeah, the back spin

Try this

Yes...

Thanks for being my playmate today

My pleasure

You play well as a lady

It has been a long time since I last played

You seem to fancy things not very common here

You also mean Blues, right?

Yeah

It's like the most important thing in your life

My ex-man, my husband

Went away with a Blues dancer

So you want to win him back?

He is in heaven now

Oh, I'm sorry. But then, why?

Someday, I will be there too

I can see you still love him

That's so untrue, young man

I just hate losing

Love actually sucks

A Mainlander and a Taiwanese...

In Hong Kong, queer

Right... Right...

I am a life drawing model

Posing naked for you doesn't mean anything

What I would like to say is...

You're not saying you like me, are you?

We...

We are impossible

You look fit for your age

To date a young boy, try your luck in Punky

They charge half for those under twenty five

I'll go then

If you don't want to see me again...

NO! No!

The steam room is occasionally patrolled. Be careful

Okay

For my age?

Fuck the age!

What?

I am afraid you might suck my dick

So, sucker, how is your affair, the rich one?

I am in trouble

I've got twenty million in my account all of a sudden

Twenty million?

Holy shit

You lucky bastard

And she said

Since I had not returned it for more than a month

It's implied that we have a contract

You are doomed

Poor Kwan

Yeah, Kwan

Love or money

Both or nothing

Decision time, mate

Anyhow, I'll get you a lawyer

In case it sucks

You are the greatest sucker on earth

Are you tired?

I am fine

Let's try this one

Okay

Hey Sir

Boss

Are there any rooms for rent?

Are you together?

Yes

Two hundred for a night

Alright

How did you tell mom?

Don't worry. I am not her mahjong playmate

(Please don't do that to me)

(You are the love of my life)

(Please don't do that to me)

Are you alright, fellow colleague?

Madam, this way

(I can't live without you)

She is traveling to an outlying island with her classmates

Are you comfortable with that?

Why not? She is a big girl now

Without the need to cook, we can play longer

That's true

Don't listen to her bullshit

Your pretty daughter is early-maturing

If you don't watch her, she may get pregnant...

And you will be in big trouble

We will lose a playmate then

You are exaggerating

It can actually be worse

A girl next door was dumped by a scamp

She then jumped from the roof

She is my daughter after all

She can't be so stupid

Hey, it's my turn to draw. What's wrong with you?

This place is so secluded, just the two of us

We shall just enjoy the moment

This guy...

Sorry

Sorry

I shall find a job

To save enough for a cosmetic surgery in Korea

Then come back to marry you

What a plan!

Will you still love me if my face changes?

But I know

No matter what you may become, I'll love you the same

Don't forget the condom

Brother, I have checked on the net

Actually, incest is not a crime in many countries

Even Japan and Korea

If cosmetic surgery doesn't work, we may try migration

Mom can't accept it

She cares only about her pride

It will be fine as long as we keep this private

Don't think too far

Before another man can take care of you

I will be with you

What do you want?

I want to date you. I am sincere Please give me a chance!

Crazy!

Fuck you!

Security! Security! Security!

Security! Security!

(Married with spouse: Kim Sau Ling)

(Role-play Paranoid)

Are you checking the director's information for me?

No, I am checking yours

You are sick, do you know?

I'm not sick

Even I am sick

If we keep on doing this, I will lose my job soon

You think I am bothering you

You don't love me any more

We can't live this way. Don't you understand?

Don't leave me alone... Don't

Have I ever said that I would leave you?

How was my acting?

You are early

(Your favorite fish rice. Enjoy)

Excuse me

Have you ever seen...

Thank you

Hey, you can't smoke here

(The Police is looking for)

(the suspect in the headless body case)

(Believed to be a local male,)

(around thirty, five feet nine inches)

(Well built, dark skin...)

Brother, that sounds like you

What's the point in taking someone's life and keeping the head?

Lovers drift apart, rivals drift closer

Police suck

My verdict is

The defendant is found not guilty of indecent assault and attempted rape

He is hereby acquitted

Since the plaintiff withdraws her claim

The case is closed

My verdict is the defendant Wong Wai Yuen is found guilty of incest

The prison term should have been three years

Since he pleaded guilty and the victim has appealed for leniency

The sentence of imprisonment is reduced to two years