Original subtitles

All right!

See that, Kowalski? Coopersmith's hurt himself again.

That ties it up! Alright, a minute to go now!

Coopersmith! Oh, jeez!

What the hell are you doing?

You screwed up for the last time, Cooperdick.

Come on, get the ball!

Nice game, Cooperdick.

Hey, slick. It wasn't your fault, man.

Tell that to them.

It was a good game. Come on.

Cooperdick, you're a bad joke.

We're gonna settle this later, pal.

Why don't you guys leave him alone. Cut it out.

Cut it off, you mean.

I'm trying my hardest out there.

You couldn't play for the March of Dimes, Coopersmith.

Well, I am playing. The coach says I get to play.

Oh, the coach?

Coach that.

Knock it off!

Come on girls. This place looks like a shit house.

You got five minutes to shower and get the hell out of here.

Hey coach, are you really gonna play him against John Paul Jones?

Everybody plays sports here, Bubba.

I guess that's another game we're gonna lose, huh, coach?

Come here, Bubba.

Listen to me.

You know the policy as well as I do.

Everybody plays two out of every four quarters,

now what the hell you expect me to do about that?

Huh?

Now, if something happened to Coopersmith

so he couldn't play

Hey Slick, you still on extra duty at the chapel?

Yeah, I got to start cleaning that freaking cellar today.

Hey!

I'll bet you'll be down there all year.

Maybe 'til he graduates.

Friggin' cellar hasn't be cleaned in a hundred years.

You wouldn't catch me down there.

Watch out for ol' Esteban!

To hell with ghosts, you look out for Sarge. Y'know what I'm telling you?

Hey Jojo! I wonder what my old lady brought me this weekend.

Your parents coming? It's visiting day, isn't it?

Hey, Cooperdick, you should really take advantage of visiting day.

Maybe you could get out of your detail.

Big dope.

You have to have a mother and a father.

Coopersmith's are dead.

Oh. Maybe they'll let the lady from the welfare office visit you.

Maybe they'll let her pass as your mother.

Hey

The way I see it, Mrs. Caldwell,

the military's the backbone of this country.

Our only hope in preserving this democratic way of life of ours,

good stock and breeding will tell.

There was a time when only the sons of the right families attended

our academy here, but now, due to our financial condition,

we're obliged to take in welfare cases like Coopersmith.

Reverend?

Reverend Jameson?

Reverend?

Reverend Jameson?

I went back one time, and he said I'll blackmail you.

I beat him around, but still liked it.

When I got out there, there was this possum

eating its way up in an asshole of a tree.

It was half dead and beaten up.

And then I lost my taste for possum!

Come here, you shit.

Oh, man, what a mess.

What the hell are you doing down here?

I'm on punishment duty, Sir.

Um, well, I came down looking for the Reverend.

I'll just start cleaning out the cellar.

Nobody told me about it.

Well you know, I bet he forgot.

Nobody knows you're down here, huh?

Coopersmith?

Oh, it's you, Sir.

When I didn't find you upstairs,

I came down here and started cleaning up some of this junk, and

well then, I ran into the Sarge here.

Sargent, Private Coopersmith is on a punishment detail.

Punishment?

Yes, and I want you to give him a hand.

Why I don't have enough to do as it is.

Look, sergeant, this place is a fire hazard,

as well as an eye sore.

And it should've been cleaned up a long time ago.

Besides...

Coopersmith here will do all the work.

Okay. Okay.

There's the Reverend.

Pardon my dust. I just come up from the cellar.

I've just been giving Mrs. Caldwell a tour of the grounds.

I've always admired the architecture of your school.

Why, thank you.

But what always intrigued me is the chapel.

I think the Reverend has a better background of that than I.

He made a study of it.

I was curious about the old building myself,

so I I started to do a little digging.

Oh, come on.

Come on, guy.

Jesus.

And the founder of the order was a certain Father Esteban.

You see, the actual land that the school sits on,

was given to Esteban in an order of Spanish monks

when they fled the inquisition.

Uh, that's so fascinating.

You see, Esteban was accused of devil worship,

and he was sentenced to death.

How utterly fascinating.

Hey, little twerp.

Hey, Cooper!

Copper, or whatever your name is.

Hey, kid.

Hey, amigo kid!

Got something to show you.

Oh my God.

Wow.

What a score.

Get outta there.

Get, get.

Rumor has it that before being executed,

Esteban vowed to return and extract his revenge.

The signal would manifest itself on these very grounds.

How interesting and strange.

Yes, by all accounts Father Esteban was a strange one.

My crowbar.

Did you enjoy your tour of the chapel, Mrs. Caldwell?

Oh, I certainly did.

Reverend Jameson was most informative.

Oh, there's Douglas. Douglas.

You have a fine son there, Mrs. Caldwell.

Thank you. Mother's going now.

Give her a kiss.

Oh, Mom.

I hope we have the financial resources to do right by him.

Oh, I'm sure you will, Colonel.

I'll have a talk with the Senator tonight.

He's very big on military causes, especially tax exempt ones.

Nice to have you.

They unplugged my clock.

Damn.

Look at my clothes.

Rise, arise

get possession of, become master of.

Greedy, attack.

You are late, Coopersmith.

I hope you have an unimpeachable excuse.

Your silence pleases me, Coopersmith.

I will consider any excuse unacceptable

short of your being detained from visitors from outer space.

I take it we can rule out extraterrestrial interference?

Yes, sir.

Now, with your permission, I will continue.

Gentlemen, over the next few weeks,

we will be campaigning as Julius Caesar.

We will try to duplicate Caesar's military strategy

as well as read Latin.

The final exam will consist of questions about that strategy

as well as your ability to master Latin grammar and vocabulary.

For your sake, I hope that all of you have become little experts

at conjugation, declension and irregular verbs.

Also, let me emphasize strongly the importance of the model assignment

upon which you are working.

I expect nothing less than perfection in concept and execution.

Remember, this is a military academy.

Any mistake big or small will be dealt with in the most severe terms.

Understood?

You must never forget you're being trained in a military career.

An inferior model will earn you an F in this class.

A word to the wise, Coopersmith.

Dismissed.

Not you, Coopersmith.

This is the second time you have been late this week Coopersmith.

I want you to report to the Colonel's office after your last class.

I do not understand you, Coopersmith.

You have a fine mind if only you were to apply yourself.

I do try, Sir.

Well, you know my model catapult?

I'm using one of the computers to check my configurations

so it will be really accurate.

Hmm. I hope it is for your sake.

Now, you'd best get out of here or you will be late for your next class.

Yes, Sir.

What's the matter with you, Cooperdick?

What's the matter, huh?

Come get your hat.

What's the matter with you? - Oh.

Hey! Why don't you guys leave him alone?

How would you like to follow his hat?

Break it up.

Come on.

Good afternoon, men. - Good afternoon, Sir.

Jo Jo, I hope you men are ready for the game on Saturday.

Yes, Sir.

And let's not forget the rally.

We want to have some good fun.

We wouldn't miss it, Sir. - That's right, Sir.

Coopersmith,

where's your hat?

I lost it. - Well, find it.

The good Lord doesn't want you out of uniform

and neither do I.

Good day, men. - Good day, Sir.

Good day, Reverend.

Good of you to come, Private.

Come inside.

And leave your books out here.

I'm disappointed in you, boy.

I could understand if you didn't have what it takes,

but your record shows you have an above average IQ.

And what concerns me is your inability

to get along with the others.

I'd be remiss in my duty if I didn't do all in my power to see to it that

you take every advantage of what we have to offer here.

Now, I know you miss your folks, but you have to accept the fact that

they're gone and make the best of it.

We have a mission at this academy,

and that mission is to turn out young men for the military,

so from now on, I'm going to keep a special eye on you.

I'm going to see to it personally that you tow the line.

I'm going to make a good soldier out of you or else know the reason why.

Now, what have you got to say to that?

Good.

You're learning already.

I'm a firm believer that words alone are useless,

so I'm going to make sure you remember our little chat

every time you sit down this week.

But don't worry,

you'll still be in there against John Paul Jones Academy.

Take the position, boy.

You must be Coopersmith.

Colonel said you need a specialist to help straighten you out.

I heard about you, you can start with the pigs.

The slop bucket's by the fence.

Great job.

Hey!

Don't they teach you damn fool cadets none about pigs?

Watch .

That coulda been you!

Now you can come in.

Wait 'til he demonstrates this in front of the class.

This will teach that little queer a lesson.

I'm hungry.

Could you just hurry up and finish it, please?

Come on. - Here comes Cooperdick.

Come on. - Let's go.

Come on.

Ew, that smell. - Wash it down!

Pig shit. - Whew!

Gentlemen, I have your passes.

All those going to town,

report to the quadrangle in five minutes.

Randerson, Baker, Caldwell

Damn.

Damn. Bastards took my book.

All right, what you guys do with my book?

What book are you talking about, Cooperdick?

You know what book I'm talking about, Bubba.

I don't know nothing about no book.

You're a liar!

Now, ordinarily, Cooperdick,

I'd have to pop you one for that.

But tonight I happen to be in a magnanimous mood, so

I'm gonna forget, that you said that.

You know anything about my book?

No, I don't.

Maybe you don't,

but you guys broke my catapult.

You're gonna pay for that.

One, two,

three, four, one, two,

three, four

Your father was there when you left your right.

Your father was there when you left your right.

Your sister was there when you left your right.

Your preacher was there when you left your right

Yes, private, what would you like?

You wouldn't happen to have seen a book I might've left here?

No, I haven't.

It's really important to me.

Will that be all?

Yeah. Thanks.

Hey, you take one of my tools?

Somebody took my crowbar.

Well, I'm sure it'll turn up.

I'll keep an eye out for it.

I have to go. Study hall.

That was the bell, Private.

Um, well just a few more minutes?

Others are scheduled. Out.

By the dreadful day of judgment.

By the face of the divine majesty and by the four beasts before the throne.

By the fire which is about the throne,

I conjure and command thee, oh prince of darkness,

in the name of him who spake, and it was done.

Satan.

Lucifer.

Coopersmith.

Appear forthwith and show yourself to me.

Coopersmith?

Gotta have the unholy water, defiled host.

Shoot Gotta have it.

Coopersmith.

Coopersmith.

Yes, Sir.

I'm sorry, Sir.

Coopersmith, where in God's name do you come from?

Well, I was right here, Sir.

No, you weren't right there because if you were right there,

I would've seen you.

Now, why isn't this place cleaned up?

It's a big job, Sir.

I know it's a big job, Coopersmith.

Look, it's getting late.

I think you should run along to the mess hall and get something to eat

because they're just about finished serving supper.

Come on with me.

How do you like your steak?

Whatever it is now is fine.

You know what?

You don't look like you belong here.

This is a place for misfits.

Their mommas and poppas send them here like mountains of wet wash.

We clean them, we starch them,

we dry clean them, and then we send them home.

Somehow you don't fit in.

You sure your mother and father didn't send you here

just to get you out of the way?

My mom and dad were killed in an automobile accident.

Should've told me sooner.

I would've given you an extra lump of mashed potatoes.

That's better.

Finished? - Almost.

You wanna see something?

Wow.

Doesn't look like this little one's getting too much to eat.

Oh, aren't you gonna help it?

There's nothing I can do that's gonna help him.

I tried everything.

Can I have him?

What are you gonna do with him?

Keep him. Try to give him a chance.

Why don't you let nature take its course.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

Maybe this pup is better off not making it.

It's a tough world out there.

You gotta be able to kick and scratch if you wanna survive.

I found that out right after my parents died.

From what I can tell, like these other pups,

it's the ones that can do the most pushing and shoving

that get the biggest piece of the pie.

I don't think he stands a chance, but if you like him,

take him.

If you get caught, you just forget where you got 'em from.

Ya hear? - Yes, Sir.

Remember, I'm holdin' you to your word.

Take it on the arches.

This is your new home, boy.

It's a little stuffy, but it'll work out just fine.

You'll like it.

This looks pretty good right here.

It's pretty sturdy.

How you like it in there? Feel all right?

Okay, well you gotta stay there. I gotta go to work.

I'm gonna put this right here.

Now, yell if you need anything. Stay here.

Consecrated host.

By the four beasts before the throne.

By the fire which is about the throne,

appear forthwith and show thyself to me in beastly or in human form.

Come peaceably, visibly and without delay.

By the dreadful day of judgment, by the face of the unholy majesty,

I conjure and command thee, prince of darkness.

Oh, Satan.

Oh, Lucifer.

Appear forthwith and show thyself to me.

I, Stanley Coopersmith, command you.

Holy Christ.

I think we went too far this time, Bubba.

Oh, he'll be all right. He's just cold cocked.

Jesus, did you see the look on his face.

Wow. He's really out cold.

I think he's coming to.

Let's get out of here before Sarge catches us, okay?

Fuck Sarge.

Far fucking out.

It works.

Hey, Stanley. Where you been?

More extra duty. Got garbage detail next.

Oh. - You know?

We're all heading out to the field to get things fixed up for the rally.

I'll catch up with you later. - All right.

Hey!

Don't you have to drill today?

Here.

Take this bag of bones for the pup.

Take it out of the arches.

Come on.

Oh.

Oh, how you doing, Freddy?

Got a little surprise for ya.

Yeah, from Jake's kitchen, some Jake bones.

How 'bout that?

Just like he promised.

You like that, huh?

Well, I gotta get one thing, and then I gotta go.

Enjoy.

Let's see.

Who in the hell is in here?

Eh, that was probably just Sarge.

Probably drunk again.

Yeah. You're a good dog.

You gotta be quiet so he can't year ya, all right?

All right? Here. You like this, huh?

Cocksuckers.

All right, you be a good boy and tomorrow I'll take ya out

and let ya get some fresh air, all right?

You gotta be quiet, too.

What the hell are you doing down here?

What is this place?

I was gonna tell ya about it.

Tell me my ass.

There's my fucking crowbar.

You're the one that took it.

I borrowed it.

And when I asked you, you lied to me.

What else have you lied to me about?

That's it.

All you bastards laugh at me.

Don't you think that I know you make fun of me?

I don't make fun of you.

Jesus Christ, you got a fucking dog down here, too.

I had to bring him here.

I couldn't keep it in the dorm. I had to bring it here.

Yeah. Why not here?

Sarge, the animal, lives in the cellar.

Why not a dog?

You lied to me.

You stole from me.

I'll show you.

Please.

Please.

It's a good trick, you cocksucker.

Now, I'm gonna show you

I'm gonna show you how I make a little boy into a little girl.

You want to see that trick?

Help!

Ain't nobody gonna hear you. - Help!

Ain't nobody gonna come to help you neither.

Did you look for Sarge in his room?

Yes, Sir. He is not there.

Well, he's probably gone to sleep it off somewhere.

He's done it before.

Sir, I have got to talk to you about Coopersmith.

Coach, I recognize your problem,

but you have to understand that when it comes to sports,

the philosophy of the academy is to play everyone.

Coopersmith, look at you.

Where the hell is your hat? - Sir

Private, your are an embarrassment to the school.

Sir, I been in the cellar. - Look at him.

How the hell can I let him represent us on the field?

At ease, Coopersmith.

Private Coopersmith has been cleaning out the cellar.

Coopersmith, get yourself cleaned up.

Sir... - You are dismissed, Private!

And for Christ's sake, go get yourself straightened up.

You see what I mean, Sir?

Jeez.

At ease, at ease.

At ease, gentlemen.

I wanna say a few words.

Before we get into choosing

the young lady who will become this years

Miss Heavy Artillery.

Since 1857,

graduates of this academy

have performed honorably in the armed forces of these United States.

58% of you

have risen to the ranks of field grade officers.

Not one graduate has ever shamed this academy.

Miss Penny is 17,

she's a waitress at the Crossroads Diner,

her hobbies are dancing and listening to Mick Jagger records.

Our next contestant is Miss Susie Baker.

She looks like she's walking out of a dream, and she's a good talker too,

Also a good cook.

Susie is sweet 16, and she's looking forward to

a career in nursing. - Nice.

Interpretative dancing and body stocking modeling.

And now we have Miss Kelly Gallagher.

West Andover's favorite space cadet.

Miss Gallagher is 17, her hobbies are roller boogieying and being one of the boys.

And the guys say she's great at both.

All right, all right, come on now, hold it down.

We'll have the judging in just a minute.

And it's gonna be a tough choice with this bevy of beauties.

Hey, have you seen Coopersmith? - No, I haven't

Hey, Coopersmith.

You all right?

Where you been?

The judgment's about to begin. Come on.

Oh, yeah.

Let's go.

So, will the next Miss Heavy Artillery be Miss Patty?

Hold it down.

Will it be Miss Baker?

Or, will it be Miss Gallagher?

I think it's pretty obvious, don't you,

and I think that we can safely say that the next

Miss Heavy Artillery is

Miss Baker.

Now, I want you to do a good job on old John Paul Jones,

and tomorrow, I want you to do the same thing to Navy.

Excuse me?

Miss Kelly?

You want something?

No, no, but thanks anyway.

Hey, what's on your mind?

I just wanted to say

Well, to tell you

I'm sorry.

I thought you were the best

Out there ---

I thought you should've won.

No, really. I thought you should've won.

You really mean that, don't you?

I do ---

I do ---

Well, well, well.

Look what we've got here.

Our ace soccer player.

Getting high, Cooperdick?

Hey, leave him alone, Bubba.

Sure. I'll leave him alone,

but I'm benching you for smoking dope.

You can't do that.

The coach says everybody gets to play.

That's what sports are for, to make us well-rounded.

I'll make you well-rounded Cooperdick.

If you guys try anything, you're gonna be sorry.

Oh yeah?

Let's see how it looks without the pants.

You guys, leave him alone.

Shut up! - Cut it out!

I'm gonna... you guys are gonna pay for this.

Cooperdick, you're gonna pay for this.

You think that we're gonna lose this game because of you,

you got another thing coming.

You so much as show your face, and I'll bust you in the head.

I'm gonna play. You can't stop me.

I'll go to the Colonel.

You do that, Cooperdick.

You do that, and it's your funeral and your little dog.

I know he's down there in the cellar somewhere.

And I'm gonna make sausage out of him, Cooperdick.

You guys touch my dog,

God help me, you're gonna get it.

Coopersmith,

what is the meaning of this?

This is the last straw, private.

Not only are you not going to play in the game tomorrow,

but as of now, you are off the team.

Hey, where you going?

Shhh. Where the hell does it look like I'm going?

Well, what if Sarge shows up?

Where the hell you been, man? Sarge went over the hill.

Okay, party time tonight.

Oh, God. What's with the dry hump routine?

It's not gonna be dry for long.

What's that?

Um, it's a rat.

The cellar's loaded with rats.

Since when do rats bark?

Hey, cut it out, Bubba.

It's coming from over in there.

Oh man, check this out.

Welcome to the kingdom of evil.

There's no turning back once the gates of hell are closed.

Not bad, huh?

Hey, how about a little less talk and a little more beer?

Beer? Here ya go. - Yeah, give her a beer.

Hey, save one of those for me.

What is all this?

Looks like black magic.

Tell black mass and fight the devil.

Hey, come take a look at this.

It's in Latin.

Hey man, you can't even read English.

Let me look at that.

You're all right, you're all right. Let me look at this.

Check this out.

Look out.

Look what I found.

What?

Isn't it cute?

What is it?

That must be the devil's dog.

Devil's dog? Well, I sure am hungry.

Stop it!

You're always hungry.

Hey, look at that.

That must be Coopersmith's dog.

Stop it.

Sweet little thing.

Well, let's have another look at this computer.

Holy shit.

This is weird.

Watch this.

Hocus pocus, Satan.

Come out wherever you are.

Look man, this thing says that we need a consecrated host.

Why don't you make yourself useful and go get me one.

I'm not gonna commit no sacrilege, Bubba.

Oh, the hell with you guys.

Ever cast a spell before, Bubba?

Or is this your first time?

Well, you see that we need to sacrifice to the devil.

See, we need a little virgin blood.

I guess that leaves you out, kid.

How would you know, hot shot?

I guess we're gonna have to have an animal sacrifice.

Stop kidding around, Bubba!

Do I look like I'm kidding to you?

Give me that knife. - What are you gonna do with it?

Just give me the knife.

Stop him.

Poor Cooperdick.

That's enough, Bubba.

Shut up!

Bubba knows what he's doing, right Bubba?

Don't, Bubba.

Kill, kill, kill, kill.

Kill, kill, kill, kill

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill.

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill - Do it!

Do it, damn it!

Fred?

Fred?

Fred?

Fred?

Good morning! All right, all right, all right.

Let me have your attention now. Come on!

Hey

Where's Coopersmith?

Maybe he got the message.

Keep your mouth shut.

What message?

We were a team, Fred.

We were a team.

Well, if he's AWOL, he'll be punished.

I want all of you guys down at the chapel in ten minutes.

Out of here. Let's go!

What message?

Arf, arf.

Jake, have you seen Coopersmith?

I've been looking all over for him.

Hey, anything wrong?

Yeah, maybe.

Coopersmith?

Bubba?

Get your hat.

Coopersmith?

Coopersmith?

Coopersmith?

Coopersmith?

Coopersmith?

Coopersmith?

What the devil do you think you're doing?

I'm putting you on report.

Oh my God!

Before you go out to play the game of your lives,

little soldiers,

I want to talk to you about another game.

The game of life.

I know a lot of you soccer jocks think it's okay to go out there

and try to pull one over on the referee when he's not watching,

but I'm here to tell you that nobody

I mean nobody

pulls anything over on the head referee in the big game.

That's what really is important.

Satan.

Satan.

Satan!

Guys, each time you go to the troth of sin with gluttony

and lust like pigs, you're being coached by Satan,

and if you care to check the standings,

he's got a losing record.

I command you, prince of evil, heed my call.

Give life to the instruments of my retribution.

Imbue these creatures with your strength and force.

Let them avenge me,

and I will pledge my soul to you and serve you for all eternity.

So when the big score keeper,

you know, the guy up there

when he adds up the ledger between good and evil,

you better be on the winning side of this

or just there will be hell to pay.

Coopersmith!

Coopersmith!