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♪♪
2
00:00:11,931 --> 00:00:15,793
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
3
00:00:15,793 --> 00:00:19,000
Announcer:
It's one for the ladies!
4
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:26,172
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:26,172 --> 00:00:30,172
♪ Headin' down to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
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00:00:30,172 --> 00:00:33,206
♪♪
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00:00:33,206 --> 00:00:37,758
♪ So come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
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00:00:39,827 --> 00:00:41,034
♪♪
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00:00:41,034 --> 00:00:43,344
When I look out
across this room,
10
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:46,482
I see the backbone
of our community.
11
00:00:46,482 --> 00:00:50,448
The women of this town
need to stand together!
12
00:00:51,137 --> 00:00:52,862
We are here,
and we're proud.
13
00:00:52,862 --> 00:00:55,344
And it is time
to let everyone know
14
00:00:55,344 --> 00:00:58,275
that the women of South Park
should be treated
15
00:00:58,275 --> 00:01:00,551
the same as the men!
16
00:01:00,551 --> 00:01:02,172
Oh! Aaaaah.
[ Farts ]
17
00:01:02,172 --> 00:01:04,827
[ Groaning ]
18
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Oh, God!
19
00:01:06,172 --> 00:01:09,827
[ Farting continues ]Ohhh, sorry.
20
00:01:09,827 --> 00:01:11,000
[ Retching ]
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[ Chuckles ]
Oh-kay.
22
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I'm alright.[ Farting continues ]
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Oh!
24
00:01:22,310 --> 00:01:23,517
Hello, boys.
25
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:26,000
Your mommy has
a bacterial infection
26
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,379
called C. diff.
27
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It's very contagious.
28
00:01:28,931 --> 00:01:31,413
A bacterial infection?
In her stomach?
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00:01:31,413 --> 00:01:34,482
All of us have trillions
of microscopic critters
30
00:01:34,482 --> 00:01:36,482
that grow on
and inside our bodies,
31
00:01:36,482 --> 00:01:37,896
just like your mom.
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There's tiny creatures
which live in your mom's skin,
33
00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:42,413
on her eyelashes,
in her vagina.
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00:01:42,413 --> 00:01:44,517
But the good bacteria
in your mommy's tummy
35
00:01:44,517 --> 00:01:46,862
are being overrun
by bad bacteria.
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00:01:46,862 --> 00:01:48,862
We can't use antibiotics
because that will
37
00:01:48,862 --> 00:01:51,206
kill all the good
bacteria, too.
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00:01:51,206 --> 00:01:52,965
So, what can
you do for her?
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We need to take
a healthy person's microbiome
40
00:01:55,827 --> 00:01:58,413
and start to grow it
inside your mother.
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00:01:58,413 --> 00:02:00,793
We do this with
a fecal transplant.
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00:02:00,793 --> 00:02:03,068
We'll get a donor's feces,
mix it with water,
43
00:02:03,068 --> 00:02:05,137
and put it up
your mom's anus.
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Ewwww!Ewwww!
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Your mom is tough, kids.
46
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We're gonna do
the very best we can.
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Try not to worry.
48
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,000
Ike, if mom lives...
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we can't let anyone
ever know about this.
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♪♪
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00:02:24,827 --> 00:02:26,275
♪ I am shopping ♪
52
00:02:26,275 --> 00:02:27,689
♪ I'm grocery shopping ♪
53
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:31,310
♪ I'm buying food
for the people I love ♪
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00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:32,517
Sheila?
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Oh! Hi, Laura!
56
00:02:34,034 --> 00:02:37,344
My goodness, look at you!
I thought you were sick!
57
00:02:37,344 --> 00:02:40,517
I was, but I had
an amazing procedure!
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No, no, no, Mommy.
No, no, no, no!
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00:02:42,275 --> 00:02:44,241
I had a fecal transplant.
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Oh! God damn it!You had a what?
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A fecal transplant.
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00:02:49,172 --> 00:02:52,034
It's when they take
the feces of a healthy donor
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and place it in your anus.
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I feel like
a million dollars!
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Sheila, is that you?
I thought you were sick!
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I was,
but I had a fecal transplant.
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00:03:01,827 --> 00:03:03,068
Aaaaah!
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00:03:03,068 --> 00:03:04,379
I'm telling you girls,
69
00:03:04,379 --> 00:03:06,551
it solved every problem
I've ever had!
70
00:03:06,551 --> 00:03:08,551
I've lost weight!
I have more energy!
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00:03:08,551 --> 00:03:12,448
I even think my arthritis
is clearing up!
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00:03:12,448 --> 00:03:14,068
Well,
that certainly is...
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00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:15,379
interesting.
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Looking great, Sheila!
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Thanks, Janice!
Fecal transplant!
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Narrator:
If you're watching this video,
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00:03:36,827 --> 00:03:39,655
then your mom probably had
a fecal transplant.
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00:03:39,655 --> 00:03:42,655
And the one question on
your mind is most likely,
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00:03:42,655 --> 00:03:45,965
"How do I keep my friends
from ripping on me?"
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00:03:45,965 --> 00:03:49,689
Yes! People make fun of what
they don't understand.
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00:03:49,689 --> 00:03:53,344
So, let's learn why your mom
had a fecal transplant.
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It was to replace
her microbiome.
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00:03:56,448 --> 00:03:58,862
Germs, bugs,
thousand of organisms
84
00:03:58,862 --> 00:04:00,793
are all around you
all the time.
85
00:04:00,793 --> 00:04:02,758
That remote control
your holding --
86
00:04:02,758 --> 00:04:04,137
It's teaming with life --
87
00:04:04,137 --> 00:04:07,413
bacteria and other organisms.Eugh!
88
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,103
They also live on
your clothes --
89
00:04:09,103 --> 00:04:12,241
Eesh! Small organisms are everywhere.
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00:04:12,241 --> 00:04:14,172
Now, scratch your balls.
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00:04:14,172 --> 00:04:16,137
Go on.
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00:04:16,137 --> 00:04:17,655
If you don't have balls,
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00:04:17,655 --> 00:04:20,724
scratch whatever else
might be down there.
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00:04:22,206 --> 00:04:26,620
Now smell your fingers.
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00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:29,448
That smell is millions
of living organisms
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00:04:29,448 --> 00:04:31,241
that you've just scraped
from your crotch
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00:04:31,241 --> 00:04:34,034
and are now going up
inside your nostrils --
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00:04:34,034 --> 00:04:35,827
your microbiome.
99
00:04:35,827 --> 00:04:37,310
Ewwwww!
100
00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,103
Creatures live in your teeth.
101
00:04:39,103 --> 00:04:42,137
They live on your eyelashes,
on your skin.
102
00:04:42,137 --> 00:04:45,517
And trillions and trillions
live inside your body.
103
00:04:45,517 --> 00:04:47,862
In fact,
of all the cells in your body
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00:04:47,862 --> 00:04:50,137
only half are human cells.
105
00:04:50,137 --> 00:04:54,379
The other half are all
microscopic organisms!
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Aaaaaaah!
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[ Classical music plays ]
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How is your salmon, Sheila?Oh, it's amazing.
109
00:05:00,275 --> 00:05:02,241
You know, I could never
eat like this before.
110
00:05:02,241 --> 00:05:04,862
My allergy to shellfish
has literally gone away.
111
00:05:04,862 --> 00:05:07,413
Oh, my gosh.
That's so wonderful!
112
00:05:07,413 --> 00:05:10,482
Oh, [Chuckles]
that reminds me.
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00:05:10,482 --> 00:05:11,965
So, Sheila,
114
00:05:11,965 --> 00:05:14,275
um, the girls and I
were talking...
115
00:05:14,275 --> 00:05:16,758
Well, you seem so great,
116
00:05:16,758 --> 00:05:19,793
and we thought how nice
it would be for us...
117
00:05:19,793 --> 00:05:23,172
to have a little bit
of your poop.
118
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[ Scoffs ] What?
119
00:05:25,379 --> 00:05:27,413
Well, thing is,
we asked our doctors
120
00:05:27,413 --> 00:05:29,137
about getting
fecal transplants, too,
121
00:05:29,137 --> 00:05:32,413
and they said they only do them
for "medical reasons."
122
00:05:32,413 --> 00:05:34,517
So, we have to
do them on our own.
123
00:05:34,517 --> 00:05:36,241
[ Chuckles nervously ]
Oh, well...
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00:05:36,241 --> 00:05:38,827
You know, girls, if the doctor
doesn't think it's safe,
125
00:05:38,827 --> 00:05:42,068
you probably shouldn't be doing
DIY transplants.
126
00:05:42,068 --> 00:05:44,551
No, that's very true,
isn't it?
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00:05:44,551 --> 00:05:45,965
We were just
thinking that...
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00:05:45,965 --> 00:05:48,586
your microbiome is
so healthy now,
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00:05:48,586 --> 00:05:50,379
it would be nice
to share a little.
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00:05:50,379 --> 00:05:51,586
Yeah. Uh...
131
00:05:51,586 --> 00:05:53,172
Uh, I mean...
It's not that I don't want
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to share everything
with my friends.
133
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It's just, you know --
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00:05:56,586 --> 00:05:59,413
I'm sorry it just
doesn't seem right.
135
00:05:59,413 --> 00:06:01,241
And that is
totally fine!
136
00:06:01,241 --> 00:06:03,758
If it doesn't feel right,
then it probably isn't right!
137
00:06:03,758 --> 00:06:05,379
[ Chuckles ][ Cellphone vibrates ]
138
00:06:05,379 --> 00:06:08,793
Oh, this is Kyle.
Sorry, girls, let me take this.
139
00:06:08,793 --> 00:06:11,448
-Oh, okay!
-Okay.
140
00:06:11,448 --> 00:06:13,931
That cunt!
I told you she'd say no.
141
00:06:13,931 --> 00:06:16,655
How much of a bitch can you be?
Won't share your feces?
142
00:06:16,655 --> 00:06:18,344
Talk about anal retentive.
143
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:19,344
Fuck her.
144
00:06:19,344 --> 00:06:21,482
Fuck her.
145
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:24,344
♪♪
146
00:06:24,344 --> 00:06:27,413
[ Heartbeat pounding]
147
00:06:27,413 --> 00:06:29,172
♪♪
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00:06:29,172 --> 00:06:31,551
Kyle: [ Thinking ]
Half the cells in my body...
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00:06:31,551 --> 00:06:32,931
half...
150
00:06:32,931 --> 00:06:35,551
They're inside me right now,
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00:06:35,551 --> 00:06:36,724
alive...
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00:06:36,724 --> 00:06:38,689
all over me...
153
00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:40,482
The bookcase...
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00:06:40,482 --> 00:06:42,068
The bookcase!
155
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,689
[ Screams ]
156
00:06:43,689 --> 00:06:46,241
Do you guys have any idea
what I'm saying?
157
00:06:46,241 --> 00:06:48,551
Half the cells in our bodies
aren't human.
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00:06:48,551 --> 00:06:50,068
Right now,
there are alive creatures
159
00:06:50,068 --> 00:06:52,241
in your eyelashes
and in your teeth!
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00:06:52,241 --> 00:06:54,103
So..?
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00:06:54,103 --> 00:06:55,517
"So"?!
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00:06:55,517 --> 00:06:57,413
Right now, that straw
has a bunch of little bugs
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00:06:57,413 --> 00:06:59,000
and they're --
they're going into your mouth
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And mixing with trillions
of other little bugs
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00:07:00,482 --> 00:07:02,379
that are alive
inside you.
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00:07:02,379 --> 00:07:03,862
You aren't even
totally you!
167
00:07:03,862 --> 00:07:06,310
Dude, Kyle why are you talking
about all this?
168
00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:09,068
Okay, guys.
Listen.
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00:07:09,068 --> 00:07:12,034
My mom had
a fecal transplant.
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00:07:12,034 --> 00:07:13,275
[ Spits ] Ha!
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[ Laughs ]
172
00:07:16,758 --> 00:07:18,965
Fecal transplant!
[ Laughs ]
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00:07:18,965 --> 00:07:23,793
Hi, Kyle. I'm Harriet.
Henrietta and Bradley's mommy?
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00:07:23,793 --> 00:07:26,275
I've been looking
all over town for you!
175
00:07:26,275 --> 00:07:27,517
Why?
176
00:07:27,517 --> 00:07:29,206
Well, I went
to the video game store,
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00:07:29,206 --> 00:07:33,000
and I bought this --
"Jedi Fallen Order."
178
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,793
It's getting great reviews --
thought you might want it.
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00:07:35,793 --> 00:07:37,931
Whaaat?Yeah! He wants it!
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00:07:37,931 --> 00:07:41,344
Great! Could you just do
one little thing for me, Kyle?
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00:07:41,344 --> 00:07:42,931
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
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00:07:42,931 --> 00:07:46,172
When you go back home,
could you find a way to get
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00:07:46,172 --> 00:07:50,620
a little of your mom's poop
and put it in this jar?
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00:07:50,620 --> 00:07:52,206
What?! Ew!
185
00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:53,620
No!
Yes!
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00:07:53,620 --> 00:07:55,172
I don't need much.
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00:07:55,172 --> 00:07:56,931
I'm sure you can find a way
to sneak it from her.
188
00:07:56,931 --> 00:07:59,206
You do that,
and the game is all yours!
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00:07:59,206 --> 00:08:01,689
That is disgusting!
Absolutely not.
190
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:02,758
Kyle.
191
00:08:02,758 --> 00:08:04,655
Oh, well.
Think about it.
192
00:08:04,655 --> 00:08:06,103
The offer stands.
193
00:08:06,103 --> 00:08:11,379
I heard you can customize
your own light saber.
194
00:08:11,379 --> 00:08:13,379
What is your problem?
195
00:08:13,379 --> 00:08:14,586
What is myproblem?!
196
00:08:14,586 --> 00:08:16,689
I'm not gonna go
steal my mom's shit.
197
00:08:16,689 --> 00:08:17,965
Dude, you realize
198
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:19,068
we won't get that game
till Christmas.
199
00:08:19,068 --> 00:08:20,379
We could be
playing it tomorrow.
200
00:08:20,379 --> 00:08:21,758
Mrph rmh mhm!
201
00:08:21,758 --> 00:08:24,344
I said no,
and that's final!
202
00:08:35,827 --> 00:08:37,586
[ Pipes squeaking ]
203
00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:38,862
She's in!
204
00:08:38,862 --> 00:08:40,448
Kyle's mom just squatted
on the toilet!
205
00:08:40,448 --> 00:08:41,827
Okay.
We've got contact.
206
00:08:41,827 --> 00:08:43,206
You ready with the bucket,
Kenny?
207
00:08:43,206 --> 00:08:44,379
Mrph mhm!
208
00:08:44,379 --> 00:08:47,000
Place it directly under
this pipe.
209
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,758
Alright.
That should just about do it.
210
00:08:49,758 --> 00:08:51,241
Now we just wait...
211
00:08:51,241 --> 00:08:57,793
for the flush.
212
00:08:57,793 --> 00:08:59,068
Mrph rmh mhm!
213
00:08:59,068 --> 00:09:00,758
That's good
she's not flushing yet.
214
00:09:00,758 --> 00:09:02,275
That means she's got
more serious business,
215
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:04,310
and serious business
is just what we're after.
216
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:05,896
You think she'll poop
a big enough log?
217
00:09:05,896 --> 00:09:07,275
You see how fat
Kyle's mom is?
218
00:09:07,275 --> 00:09:08,931
That bitch must poop
at least 2 pounders.
219
00:09:08,931 --> 00:09:10,551
Kyle: The fuck
are you doing?
220
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:12,379
Oh, hey, Kyle.
What's goin' on?
221
00:09:12,379 --> 00:09:15,482
You are notstealing
my mom's shit!
222
00:09:15,482 --> 00:09:18,275
Kyle, this is the world
we are living in, okay?
223
00:09:18,275 --> 00:09:20,827
People are finding new and
exciting ways to get healthy,
224
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,586
and who are we
to stand in their way?
225
00:09:22,586 --> 00:09:26,655
[ Toilet flushes ]
226
00:09:26,655 --> 00:09:28,896
It just freaks
me out, Doc.
227
00:09:28,896 --> 00:09:31,931
We all have these...
things living inside our bodies,
228
00:09:31,931 --> 00:09:33,724
and everyone
just seems fine with it.
229
00:09:33,724 --> 00:09:36,379
It's like as soon as people
learn they have microbiomes,
230
00:09:36,379 --> 00:09:38,551
the first thing they want to do
is start swapping them!
231
00:09:38,551 --> 00:09:40,103
Well, young man,
the truth is,
232
00:09:40,103 --> 00:09:42,344
we still don't know
a lot about the microbiome.
233
00:09:42,344 --> 00:09:45,034
but you shouldn't let it
freak you out.
234
00:09:45,034 --> 00:09:46,724
But where does
it stop?!
235
00:09:46,724 --> 00:09:48,034
Then are people
just gonna start wanting
236
00:09:48,034 --> 00:09:49,827
skinny people's microbiomes
to be skinny
237
00:09:49,827 --> 00:09:53,000
or an athletes' microbiome to
feel athletic and young again?
238
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,620
Yes, it's possible,
but we don't know enough.
239
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,275
There is no
"super feces,"
240
00:09:57,275 --> 00:09:59,068
which can make you
athletic and young.
241
00:09:59,068 --> 00:10:02,931
Well, like...
what about Tom Brady's poop?
242
00:10:04,689 --> 00:10:06,103
[ Thinking ] The spice...
243
00:10:06,103 --> 00:10:08,379
He knows about the spice.
244
00:10:08,379 --> 00:10:10,137
I-I'm just saying
that Tom Brady seems
245
00:10:10,137 --> 00:10:11,724
to work really hard
on his diet and stuff.
246
00:10:11,724 --> 00:10:13,137
His shit must be
pretty good.
247
00:10:13,137 --> 00:10:14,896
More than pretty good.
248
00:10:14,896 --> 00:10:18,758
The Spice Melange.
249
00:10:18,758 --> 00:10:21,172
What?
250
00:10:21,172 --> 00:10:23,379
Nothing.
251
00:10:23,379 --> 00:10:24,793
It's unobtainable.
252
00:10:24,793 --> 00:10:26,620
The Spice.
253
00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:29,931
But could he be the one
to bring it here?
254
00:10:32,931 --> 00:10:36,551
Announcer: And now back to
"One For the Ladies"!
255
00:10:36,551 --> 00:10:38,620
♪♪
256
00:10:38,620 --> 00:10:40,103
Have you been in
that store at all?
257
00:10:40,103 --> 00:10:41,931
No, I think it's new,
isn't it?
258
00:10:41,931 --> 00:10:44,103
It used to be
that watch store.
259
00:10:44,103 --> 00:10:46,482
Oh, my God!
Harriet?
260
00:10:46,482 --> 00:10:49,344
Oh! Hi, girls!
What's new?
261
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:50,931
My goodness!
Look at you!
262
00:10:50,931 --> 00:10:53,275
You look great!
What happened?
263
00:10:53,275 --> 00:10:55,793
Fecal transplant.
It's true what they say.
264
00:10:55,793 --> 00:10:57,620
I feel 20 years younger.
265
00:10:57,620 --> 00:10:59,862
[ Horn honks ]Lookin' good, Mrs. B!
266
00:10:59,862 --> 00:11:03,275
Fecal transplant, Damon!
Keep your eyes on the road!
267
00:11:03,275 --> 00:11:04,586
Harriet?
268
00:11:04,586 --> 00:11:07,068
Oh. Hey, Sheila.
269
00:11:07,068 --> 00:11:09,172
You're looking
chipper today.
270
00:11:09,172 --> 00:11:11,310
Yeah, I had a little
procedure done.
271
00:11:11,310 --> 00:11:12,758
Fecal transplant.
272
00:11:12,758 --> 00:11:14,241
I thought the doctor
wouldn't give you
273
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:16,310
a fecal transplant,
Harriet.
274
00:11:16,310 --> 00:11:20,482
No, I... did it myself.
With a turkey baster.
275
00:11:20,482 --> 00:11:22,413
Where did you
get the feces?
276
00:11:22,413 --> 00:11:24,413
Well, it's really none
of your business, Sheila.
277
00:11:24,413 --> 00:11:26,344
It's a private matter,
a fecal transplant.
278
00:11:26,344 --> 00:11:28,206
I'd really rather not
talk about it.
279
00:11:28,206 --> 00:11:30,862
See ya, girls.ALL: Bye, Harriet!
280
00:11:30,862 --> 00:11:32,793
Two faced bitch!
281
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,241
You know what
she said about you at lunch?
282
00:11:34,241 --> 00:11:36,862
What?She called you the C-word.
283
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:39,206
You're joking!Oh, no!
284
00:11:39,206 --> 00:11:40,896
Clearly, she couldn't stand
that you were
285
00:11:40,896 --> 00:11:43,413
the only one in town
who's shit didn't stink.
286
00:11:43,413 --> 00:11:44,724
Fuck her.
287
00:11:44,724 --> 00:11:46,172
Fuck her.
288
00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:47,931
♪♪
289
00:11:47,931 --> 00:11:49,448
Boys, I brought you in here
290
00:11:49,448 --> 00:11:53,241
because some rumors are floating
around the school, mkay.
291
00:11:53,241 --> 00:11:55,965
These rumors are
that you three
292
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,551
somehow stole feces
from Kyle's mom, mkay,
293
00:11:59,551 --> 00:12:00,931
and gave it to Mrs. Biggle
294
00:12:00,931 --> 00:12:03,103
in return for
"Jedi Fallen" Order."
295
00:12:03,103 --> 00:12:05,517
That is 100% untrue.
296
00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:09,344
Mkay, well, someone in this
school is a little turd burglar,
297
00:12:09,344 --> 00:12:10,724
and I want some answers.
298
00:12:10,724 --> 00:12:12,896
How can we answer that to which
we have no knowledge?
299
00:12:12,896 --> 00:12:14,620
[ Whispering ]
Very nice. Very nice.
300
00:12:14,620 --> 00:12:17,517
It must be hard...
301
00:12:17,517 --> 00:12:20,862
having to take turns playing
"Jedi Fallen Order."
302
00:12:20,862 --> 00:12:23,344
It's a single player game,
I believe.
303
00:12:23,344 --> 00:12:24,758
Wouldn't know.
304
00:12:24,758 --> 00:12:29,034
Oh, because I could get you
each your own copy.
305
00:12:29,034 --> 00:12:30,896
That would be a lot a fun,
wouldn't it?
306
00:12:30,896 --> 00:12:34,620
You guys stole the poop.
307
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:36,551
Could you do it again?
308
00:12:36,551 --> 00:12:38,000
You want us to steal
309
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,827
some of Kyle's mom's poop
for you?
310
00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:41,655
Not Kyle's mom's.
311
00:12:41,655 --> 00:12:43,241
Someone else's.
312
00:12:43,241 --> 00:12:44,724
Whose?
313
00:12:44,724 --> 00:12:47,034
[ Thinking ] The Spice.
314
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:49,034
I must have it.
315
00:12:49,034 --> 00:12:52,862
The Spice Melange.
316
00:12:54,965 --> 00:12:57,862
Alright. Alright.
Um, proud of our team today.
317
00:12:57,862 --> 00:12:58,931
It was, uh...
318
00:12:58,931 --> 00:13:00,275
You know, I thought the defense
319
00:13:00,275 --> 00:13:02,068
did a great job
keeping us in the game.
320
00:13:02,068 --> 00:13:03,689
And, again, I think
the offense has
321
00:13:03,689 --> 00:13:04,827
a lot of room for improvement
322
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:06,724
and all that starts with me.
323
00:13:06,724 --> 00:13:08,275
Questions?
Yeah.
324
00:13:08,275 --> 00:13:10,448
Can we have
your poop?
325
00:13:10,448 --> 00:13:14,275
No, guys, I'm not gonna take
any requests for my microbiome.
326
00:13:14,275 --> 00:13:15,965
I just wanna focus on the team.
327
00:13:15,965 --> 00:13:17,655
We're 10-1 now, you know?
328
00:13:17,655 --> 00:13:19,413
But we can't let up.
Yeah?
329
00:13:19,413 --> 00:13:21,655
Please, can we have your poop.Okay, I'm not --
330
00:13:21,655 --> 00:13:23,827
I'm not gonna stay out here.
You guys. It's just --
331
00:13:23,827 --> 00:13:25,862
Does anyone have
a real question?
332
00:13:25,862 --> 00:13:27,034
Tom, after you
leave here,
333
00:13:27,034 --> 00:13:28,413
are you gonna go
eat somewhere
334
00:13:28,413 --> 00:13:30,551
or go right home and --No, no. See?
335
00:13:30,551 --> 00:13:32,344
I'm not gonna tell you guys
where I'm doing
336
00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:33,758
because then
you're all gonna try
337
00:13:33,758 --> 00:13:34,965
and follow me
into the bathroom.
338
00:13:34,965 --> 00:13:36,482
You're not taking my feces,
339
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,034
so unless you have
a football question,
340
00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:39,172
we're done here.
341
00:13:39,172 --> 00:13:41,448
Can we buy your poop?
342
00:13:44,827 --> 00:13:46,034
Kyle: [ Thinking ]
Microbiome...
343
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,827
Inside me...
344
00:13:51,137 --> 00:13:54,172
They are inside me.
345
00:13:54,172 --> 00:13:56,137
Are they a part of me?
346
00:13:56,137 --> 00:13:57,965
When I eat, they eat.
347
00:13:57,965 --> 00:13:59,448
When I die,
348
00:13:59,448 --> 00:14:02,620
they consume me
and continue to live.
349
00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:06,655
Am I just an Airbnb
in Santa Clarita?
350
00:14:06,655 --> 00:14:08,482
They're not a part of me.
351
00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:11,379
They are me.
352
00:14:11,379 --> 00:14:13,206
♪♪
353
00:14:13,206 --> 00:14:15,931
The bookcase.
354
00:14:15,931 --> 00:14:18,551
The bookcase!
355
00:14:18,551 --> 00:14:20,172
You have to understand,
356
00:14:20,172 --> 00:14:22,482
a lot of people
want things from Tom Brady.
357
00:14:22,482 --> 00:14:25,137
He has to be
a little protective.
358
00:14:25,137 --> 00:14:27,310
Yes, we do understand.
We just...
359
00:14:27,310 --> 00:14:29,275
Well, since you're his publicist
we thought that...
360
00:14:29,275 --> 00:14:31,068
You could give Mr. Brady
our message-
361
00:14:31,068 --> 00:14:32,862
It's alright Stan.
don't cry.
362
00:14:32,862 --> 00:14:35,689
You see, ma'am, our friend
little Kenny here is dying.
363
00:14:35,689 --> 00:14:39,241
And he's...He's just the biggest
Patriots fan.
364
00:14:39,241 --> 00:14:41,000
You know, I can call him,
365
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,482
but he's very busy right now
with the season.
366
00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:45,482
Well, if Mr. Brady
could just, you know,
367
00:14:45,482 --> 00:14:47,793
have Kenny stay over
at his house for a night.
368
00:14:47,793 --> 00:14:49,896
Kind of like a Michael Jackson
kind of thing.
369
00:14:49,896 --> 00:14:51,758
Ohhghghgh!
370
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:53,172
Oh, gosh,
we're losing him!
371
00:14:53,172 --> 00:14:54,689
We need to make this happen
quickly, ma'am.
372
00:14:55,379 --> 00:14:58,862
They want the spice.
Just like the rest.
373
00:14:58,862 --> 00:15:02,034
Perhaps they are
the ones...
374
00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:03,551
Uh, ma'am?
375
00:15:03,551 --> 00:15:06,482
Tom Brady's Publicist:
A chance. Perhaps.
376
00:15:06,482 --> 00:15:10,275
They could actually obtain
the Spice Melange...
377
00:15:10,275 --> 00:15:13,379
Let me...
see what I can do.
378
00:15:15,241 --> 00:15:18,965
Girls, can I just say --
you both look fantastic.
379
00:15:18,965 --> 00:15:20,551
Oh, thanks girlfriend.
380
00:15:20,551 --> 00:15:22,517
We've been working out
and dieting, you know --
381
00:15:22,517 --> 00:15:24,793
not cheating, like
that bitch Harriot.
382
00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:27,172
Well, it's great you guys
are doing it the natural way
383
00:15:27,172 --> 00:15:29,965
and we don't have to deal
with Harriot anymore.
384
00:15:29,965 --> 00:15:32,965
There you are,
you Goddamn bitch!
385
00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:35,034
I will take you to court,
fat whore!
386
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:37,068
Harriot,
I do not like your tone-
387
00:15:37,068 --> 00:15:39,034
You knew I was going to
steal your poo,
388
00:15:39,034 --> 00:15:40,931
and so you tainted it,
didn't you?!
389
00:15:40,931 --> 00:15:42,517
What are you
talking about?
390
00:15:42,517 --> 00:15:45,241
I have been shitting
and throwing up all day!
391
00:15:45,241 --> 00:15:47,482
It has to be
from your feces!
392
00:15:47,482 --> 00:15:50,241
So, you did take my poo,
huh, Harriot?
393
00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:52,379
That's besides
the point now!
394
00:15:52,379 --> 00:15:54,344
Oh, IS it?
'Cause the girls told me
395
00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:56,137
you called me the C word
the other day!
396
00:15:56,137 --> 00:15:59,103
Oh, you're all
backstabbing bitches now!
397
00:15:59,103 --> 00:16:00,862
Fuck you, Harriot!
398
00:16:00,862 --> 00:16:02,896
Uhhh-- Okay, ladies.
come on --
399
00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:05,448
Just admit it!
I can't stop puking and shitting
400
00:16:05,448 --> 00:16:06,931
because of what
you did to me!
401
00:16:06,931 --> 00:16:09,551
[ Moans ]
402
00:16:11,896 --> 00:16:13,172
What the fuck?
403
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:15,103
You thought you were
such hot shit, Harriot.
404
00:16:15,103 --> 00:16:17,137
We took the leftover feces
from your house,
405
00:16:17,137 --> 00:16:19,586
and put it up our asses
with a Turkey baster!
406
00:16:19,586 --> 00:16:21,344
Oh. Oh, God.
407
00:16:35,379 --> 00:16:39,137
Announcer: We now return to
"One for the Ladies."
408
00:16:41,172 --> 00:16:44,551
[ Wind howls ]
409
00:16:44,551 --> 00:16:46,551
[ Roars ]
410
00:16:57,862 --> 00:16:59,689
[ Doorbell rings ]
411
00:17:07,241 --> 00:17:08,931
Hello, ma'am.
We are the darling children
412
00:17:08,931 --> 00:17:11,275
who's dying friend is all set
to meet Tom Brady.
413
00:17:11,275 --> 00:17:17,034
I am Mabel Gonzales,
the housekeeper.
414
00:17:17,034 --> 00:17:19,172
They're here
for the spice.
415
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:22,068
I can sense it.
416
00:17:22,068 --> 00:17:25,137
Cartman: I wonder why everyone
keeps taking really long pauses
417
00:17:25,137 --> 00:17:27,379
after they talk?
418
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:28,862
Stan: People just keep
looking at me
419
00:17:28,862 --> 00:17:31,655
like I'm supposed
to say something.
420
00:17:31,655 --> 00:17:33,448
Kenny:
Why did I agree to this?
421
00:17:33,448 --> 00:17:36,482
I don't even have a machine
to play Fallen Order on.
422
00:17:36,482 --> 00:17:37,689
Come on in.
423
00:17:37,689 --> 00:17:41,310
Mr. Brady is just
using the bathroom.
424
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:45,413
Music to your ears,
I suppose.
425
00:17:50,034 --> 00:17:54,413
We've got more sick incoming.
Try and make some more room.
426
00:17:54,413 --> 00:17:56,620
We have a major epidemic,
here, detective.
427
00:17:56,620 --> 00:17:58,620
C-diff has spread
to half the town.
428
00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:01,448
We don't have enough staff
or enough supplies
to keep up with it.
429
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:02,793
How did this happen?!
430
00:18:02,793 --> 00:18:04,827
Apparently, the outbreak
started at a restaurant,
431
00:18:04,827 --> 00:18:06,862
when some women
got sick on everybody.
432
00:18:06,862 --> 00:18:08,379
The women contracted C-diff
433
00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:10,931
by giving themselves
DIY fecal transplants.
434
00:18:10,931 --> 00:18:13,586
So, they got sick from
another woman's feces?
435
00:18:13,586 --> 00:18:16,000
No. They got sick
from using this --
436
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,827
a common household
turkey baster.
437
00:18:17,827 --> 00:18:20,137
It's a thing most people
only use once a year,
438
00:18:20,137 --> 00:18:21,482
around Thanksgiving.
439
00:18:21,482 --> 00:18:23,172
The rest of the year,
it just sits in a drawer,
440
00:18:23,172 --> 00:18:24,620
collecting bacteria.
441
00:18:24,620 --> 00:18:27,241
And then, the ladies went
and stuck it up their asses.
442
00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:28,965
Oh, those ladies!
443
00:18:28,965 --> 00:18:30,241
It gets worse.
444
00:18:30,241 --> 00:18:32,000
We're completely out
of healthy donor feces.
445
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,379
Even if we found a donor at this
point it wouldn't be enough
446
00:18:34,379 --> 00:18:36,000
to give everyone
transplants.
447
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,379
So what happens next?
448
00:18:37,379 --> 00:18:40,586
With how contagious C-diff is,
and how deadly,
449
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:43,551
Half of South Park
is going to die.
450
00:18:43,551 --> 00:18:47,551
Jesus. What have those
rascally ladies done?
451
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:53,034
So... You're all here
to meet Tom Brady, too?
452
00:18:53,034 --> 00:18:54,620
Yeah.
I'm a sports writer.
453
00:18:54,620 --> 00:18:56,827
Getting a
little interview.
454
00:18:56,827 --> 00:19:00,206
A little interview,
and hopefully more.
455
00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:02,034
Yes, and we are here
with our little girl
456
00:19:02,034 --> 00:19:03,724
who's dying,
just like your friend.
457
00:19:03,724 --> 00:19:04,965
I'm dying, Mommy?
458
00:19:04,965 --> 00:19:06,310
Shut up, Theresa!
459
00:19:06,310 --> 00:19:08,137
The Spice Melange.
460
00:19:08,137 --> 00:19:10,517
It is here
in this house.
461
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:14,965
Everyone, the honorable
Thomas Brady.
462
00:19:14,965 --> 00:19:16,448
Hey, everybody.
463
00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:17,758
The rest of you,
stand back!
464
00:19:17,758 --> 00:19:19,586
They all deceive you,
Mr. Brady!
465
00:19:19,586 --> 00:19:22,310
They only want to get to
the Spice Melange!
466
00:19:22,310 --> 00:19:26,000
Oh, God, not again.
Alright, everybody out.
467
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,551
Come on. Let's go.
468
00:19:27,551 --> 00:19:29,482
Mr. Brady, can we just see
your basement really fast?
469
00:19:29,482 --> 00:19:30,827
Nope. Nope.
That's all.
470
00:19:30,827 --> 00:19:32,793
If you people want
a healthy microbiome,
471
00:19:32,793 --> 00:19:34,931
then proper diet
and healthy choices, alright?
472
00:19:34,931 --> 00:19:37,965
That's it.
You are all being ridiculous.
473
00:19:37,965 --> 00:19:39,517
[ Door opens ]
474
00:19:46,103 --> 00:19:48,551
Kyle? Dude,
what are you doing here?
475
00:19:50,413 --> 00:19:53,482
You don't get to be part
of Turd Burglars now, Kyle.
476
00:19:57,896 --> 00:19:59,620
The Bookcase.
477
00:20:10,034 --> 00:20:12,517
[ All gasping, "oh"ing ]
478
00:20:13,344 --> 00:20:15,172
Okay, look,
I got sick of people
479
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:17,724
going to my basement
and screwing with my plumbing.
480
00:20:17,724 --> 00:20:20,551
The spice.
So much of it.
481
00:20:20,551 --> 00:20:24,655
Enough for everyone.
Enough to bring peace to all.
482
00:20:24,655 --> 00:20:27,310
I stopped flushing them
because people kept breaking
483
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:28,689
my pipes to get them.
484
00:20:28,689 --> 00:20:31,482
Never, in my wildest dreams,
did I believe
485
00:20:31,482 --> 00:20:33,689
so much
could be obtained.
486
00:20:33,689 --> 00:20:37,103
This is enough for
all the universe.
487
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:38,689
I mean, you'd all
do the same thing
488
00:20:38,689 --> 00:20:41,172
if people were always trying
to steal your shit.
489
00:20:58,827 --> 00:21:01,931
That's good. Stay still.
Almost there.
490
00:21:01,931 --> 00:21:05,724
Oh, Sheila, I'm so sorry
for stealing your feces.
491
00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:09,068
And we're sorry for stealing
it from you, Harriot.
492
00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:10,758
Girls this was
all my fault.
493
00:21:10,758 --> 00:21:12,551
I think I got
a little carried away
494
00:21:12,551 --> 00:21:14,689
bragging about
my fecal transplant.
495
00:21:14,689 --> 00:21:17,551
I hope we can all
be besties again.
496
00:21:17,551 --> 00:21:19,551
Doctor: You ladies
are pretty lucky.
497
00:21:19,551 --> 00:21:22,241
If it hadn't been for these
little turd burglars, here,
498
00:21:22,241 --> 00:21:24,448
you'd be dead --
and also responsible
499
00:21:24,448 --> 00:21:26,551
for the deaths
of countless others.
500
00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:28,034
Kyle, how did you do it?
501
00:21:28,034 --> 00:21:30,758
I mean, how did you even know
what was going on?
502
00:21:30,758 --> 00:21:33,137
I didn't know.
My microbiome did.
503
00:21:33,137 --> 00:21:35,206
All along, they were trying
to tell me something.
504
00:21:35,206 --> 00:21:37,000
I've really learned that
I'm not just me.
505
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,931
I'm also all the creatures
inside of me.
506
00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:41,827
From now on, I'm gonna trust
my gut a little more.
507
00:21:41,827 --> 00:21:44,413
Well, I think we've all
learned something.
508
00:21:44,413 --> 00:21:48,137
"One for the Ladies" is one
too many for the ladies.
509
00:21:48,137 --> 00:21:50,931
[ Laughter ]
510
00:21:53,793 --> 00:22:04,724
♪♪
511
00:22:04,724 --> 00:22:14,655
♪♪
512
00:22:14,655 --> 00:22:24,586
♪♪
36970
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