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♪♪
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♪ PC Babies! ♪
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00:00:15,068 --> 00:00:16,862
♪ They're comin' to your town! ♪
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NARRATOR: The PC Babies!
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00:00:19,862 --> 00:00:22,137
♪ The wokest kids around! ♪
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00:00:22,137 --> 00:00:24,586
♪ When there's something
problematic ♪
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♪ They're sure to
let you know! ♪
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♪ Making things fun
and gender neutral ♪
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♪ Everywhere they go ♪
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00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,068
♪ They're everybody's
fave-sies ♪
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♪ They're PC Babies, yeah! ♪
12
00:00:40,413 --> 00:00:41,793
And now back to
"PC Babies!"
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[ Cries, giggles ]
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[ Grunting ]
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Yeah! Who's strong?
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I'm strong.
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Who's a strong woman?
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00:00:50,413 --> 00:00:51,758
I'm a strong woman!
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00:00:51,758 --> 00:00:52,965
You are gonna smoke
the competition!
20
00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:54,448
I'm gonna smoke
the competition!
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00:00:54,448 --> 00:00:55,482
[ PC Babies crying ]
22
00:00:55,482 --> 00:00:57,413
Oh no.
It's the babies.
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[ All crying ]
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00:01:00,413 --> 00:01:02,379
Kids! Kids, okay!
What's the matter?
25
00:01:02,379 --> 00:01:05,965
Oh, no. I left Disney+ on,
and it went to "Mulan."
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PC PRINCIPAL:
They don't like Mulan?
27
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No, because Mulan is a female
that identifies as male
28
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and yet the movie
doesn't take the time
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00:01:11,793 --> 00:01:15,379
to address real
trans issues.
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Okay! Okay! We know --
"Mulan" is outdated
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in creating straw dog characters
to talk about trans issues.
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Daddy's turning it off.[ Remote clicks ]
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But just how many advocates
has yet to be seen...
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[ PC Babies giggle, coo ]
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PC PRINCIPAL: Alright.
Everyone, listen up.
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00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:29,896
As you know,
this school is a place
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where everyone should
feel included.
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Our challenge is to motivate
ourselves and others
39
00:01:33,655 --> 00:01:36,103
to create an inviting,
non-bigoted and --
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Hey, Stotch, you got
a fuckin' problem?
41
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,448
No, sir!
42
00:01:39,448 --> 00:01:41,344
Now, I think that
what we all need
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00:01:41,344 --> 00:01:44,103
are leaders
who motivate by example.
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And so I would like
to inform you all
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00:01:46,137 --> 00:01:48,689
that your vice principal
is competing
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in the Strong Woman Competition
in Morrison this weekend!
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Let's hear it for her.
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[ Applause ]
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Well, thank you,
PC Principal.
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Um, listen, guys,
I just hope I can make you proud
51
00:02:00,103 --> 00:02:02,275
and, more importantly,
I hope you can see
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00:02:02,275 --> 00:02:05,413
that no matter who you are,
you can do anything.
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We've really come a long way
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00:02:07,172 --> 00:02:09,551
breaking down
gender binary bigotry,
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and I hope I can
especially inspire
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some of my girl students here.
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Or those who
identify as girls.
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00:02:15,413 --> 00:02:17,517
Yes, or those
who identify as girls.
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00:02:17,517 --> 00:02:21,206
Get out there and get involved
in school sports and clubs.
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00:02:21,206 --> 00:02:22,586
If there's
something you love,
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don't ever let anything
hold you back.
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00:02:27,517 --> 00:02:30,448
The first bugbear lashes out
at Stan with its broadsword!
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00:02:30,448 --> 00:02:31,931
And it hits with a 17!
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00:02:31,931 --> 00:02:33,413
How much damage
is that?
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Four plus two slashing.
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Okay!
I jump up to the bugbear!
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And I yell, "For Waterdeep"!
And I kick it in the balls!
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I don't think
bugbears have balls.
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Then how do they make
baby bugbears?
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Oh, hi, boys!
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We got some new students
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who want to be
part of the gaming club.
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00:02:47,206 --> 00:02:49,000
You know Tammy
and Nichole?
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00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,931
Um...
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00:02:50,931 --> 00:02:52,517
[ Chuckles ]
Uh...no.
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00:02:52,517 --> 00:02:55,068
This is a school club, boys.
All clubs are inclusive.
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Have fun, girls.
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00:02:58,241 --> 00:02:59,931
Hey, guys.
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[ Whispering ]
What the fuck do we do?
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00:03:03,931 --> 00:03:06,620
Um, guys, we play lots
of games here at Dice Studz,
81
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,034
but today,
we're playing "D&D."
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You don't just show up
and start playing.
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00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:10,620
You have to generate
characters and --
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Yeah, we created
some this morning.
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00:03:12,068 --> 00:03:13,344
I'm a Human Paladin,
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00:03:13,344 --> 00:03:15,103
and Nichole is
a Tiefling Warlock.
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[ Whispering ]
Do something, Eric.
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[ Chuckles ]
Uh, guys, um...
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they're fighting a bunch
of bugbears right now
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00:03:22,586 --> 00:03:24,448
that are led by
a 12th-level Druid.
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00:03:24,448 --> 00:03:28,275
Okay, I cast Vampiric Touch
on the Druid.
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Crit.
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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ANNOUNCER: A beautiful day
in Morrison, Colorado,
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as we get ready
for the 6th Annual
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Strong Woman Competition!
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A two-day-long competition
of tests built to push athletes
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00:03:43,103 --> 00:03:45,482
to their very limits.
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Joining me now is
the current champion
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of the Strong Woman Competition,
Strong Woman.
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00:03:50,413 --> 00:03:52,172
Ms. Woman,
do you feel ready?
102
00:03:52,172 --> 00:03:54,137
Oh, yeah.
I'm ready, David.
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There are just so many
amazing women athletes
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00:03:56,275 --> 00:03:57,241
out here today.
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It makes me so proud.
106
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Now, this is
the first year
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00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:02,344
that a trans woman
is in the competition.
108
00:04:02,344 --> 00:04:04,586
How do you feel about that?Amazing.
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00:04:04,586 --> 00:04:06,413
I feel honored to be
a part of history.
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00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,931
I have a lot of incredible
trans friends who are athletes,
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00:04:08,931 --> 00:04:11,655
and so we're all inspired
this woman's competing.
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00:04:11,655 --> 00:04:13,137
Uh-huh, and uh...
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00:04:13,137 --> 00:04:15,379
have you actually ever met
Heather Swanson?
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00:04:15,379 --> 00:04:18,103
Uh, no, I've never competed
against her before. No.
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She's not exactly
your average trans athlete.
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00:04:20,896 --> 00:04:23,724
Well, what is
an average trans athlete?
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00:04:23,724 --> 00:04:26,034
Honestly, I find that
kind of bigoted, David.
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Okay, Heather Swanson
is actually joining us now.
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Ms. Swanson, how does it feel
to be competing today?
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00:04:32,344 --> 00:04:36,000
I can't tell you
how free I feel
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00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:39,172
now that I've started
identifying as a woman.
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Now that I can
compete as female,
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00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:44,758
I'm ready to smash
the other girls!
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00:04:44,758 --> 00:04:47,827
And is it correct you just
starting identifying as female
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00:04:47,827 --> 00:04:49,137
two weeks ago.
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00:04:49,137 --> 00:04:51,896
I'm not here to talk
about my transition.
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I'm here to kick
some fuckin' ass.
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00:04:54,344 --> 00:04:57,655
Let me tell you something,
Dingleberry --David Perry.
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00:04:57,655 --> 00:04:59,896
I'm gonna roll up
the other women here,
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00:04:59,896 --> 00:05:02,068
and I'm gonna
smoke 'em.
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00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:06,965
I am the strongest woman
this state has ever seen!
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00:05:06,965 --> 00:05:09,413
Any words for the challenger,
Ms. Woman?
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00:05:09,413 --> 00:05:11,448
Uh, good luck,
Heather.
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00:05:11,448 --> 00:05:14,724
[ Chuckles ]
Luck is for dudes.
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00:05:14,724 --> 00:05:17,620
Well, with that,
let's get right to the action.
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00:05:17,620 --> 00:05:22,448
♪♪
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00:05:22,448 --> 00:05:25,241
♪ Rising to the top,
push it to the edge ♪
138
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,310
♪ Give it all you got,
barely break a sweat ♪
139
00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:28,551
♪ Strong Woman! ♪
140
00:05:28,551 --> 00:05:32,172
♪ Strong Woman ♪
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00:05:32,172 --> 00:05:34,896
♪ Yeah, she's got speed,
she's got the moves ♪
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00:05:34,896 --> 00:05:36,862
♪ She's got the muscle
and a whole lot to prove ♪
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00:05:36,862 --> 00:05:38,241
♪ Strong Woman! ♪
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00:05:38,241 --> 00:05:40,241
♪ Strong Woman! ♪[ Women grunting ]
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Arghhhhhh-yeah!
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00:05:42,413 --> 00:05:44,551
♪ Hey, you ♪
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00:05:44,551 --> 00:05:47,068
♪ Go strong woman, go ♪
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00:05:47,068 --> 00:05:49,275
♪ Hey, you ♪
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00:05:49,275 --> 00:05:53,068
♪ Your time is now,
whatcha gonna do? ♪
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00:05:53,068 --> 00:05:55,344
♪ Pedal to the metal,
find another gear ♪
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00:05:55,344 --> 00:05:57,620
♪ She takes what she wants,
nothing left to fear ♪
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00:05:57,620 --> 00:05:58,931
♪ Strong Woman! ♪
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00:05:58,931 --> 00:06:02,551
♪ Strong Woman ♪
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00:06:02,551 --> 00:06:07,344
♪ Now, hey girl,
you're the best in the world ♪
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♪ And, hey, hon ♪
156
00:06:10,068 --> 00:06:12,551
♪ Don't look now,
but you just won ♪
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00:06:12,551 --> 00:06:15,310
HEATHER: Hell yeah! I won!♪ Strong Woman ♪
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00:06:15,310 --> 00:06:17,448
♪ Strong woman, strong woman ♪I'm a strong woman!
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00:06:17,448 --> 00:06:19,896
♪ Strong woman, strong woman ♪Look at it! Its mine!
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00:06:19,896 --> 00:06:21,206
♪ Strong woman ♪I'm the best!
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00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:23,206
♪ Strong woman ♪I'm the strongest!
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So...
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00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:30,482
second place --
that's pretty damn good.
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Yeah.
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00:06:33,862 --> 00:06:35,344
I guess she...
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00:06:35,344 --> 00:06:36,931
just started
identifying as a woman
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a few weeks ago.
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Doesn't really
s-seem fair.
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00:06:40,103 --> 00:06:43,448
Just don't.
You'll upset the PC Babies.
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00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,137
CARTMAN: It is unfair!
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00:06:46,137 --> 00:06:48,655
It is tyrannous,
and it is wrong.
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00:06:48,655 --> 00:06:50,724
Ever since these girls
were allowed to join
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00:06:50,724 --> 00:06:53,000
Dice Studz Gamers Club,
it has been a train wreck.
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Every single game we play,
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00:06:54,310 --> 00:06:56,172
they, like,
figure out all the rules
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00:06:56,172 --> 00:06:59,310
and they use the rules
to, like, make us look stupid.
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00:06:59,310 --> 00:07:01,379
IN "D&D,"
they killed the dungeon master!
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00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,551
We didn't think
it was even possible
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00:07:02,551 --> 00:07:03,965
to kill
the dungeon master.
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00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,724
Shut up, Butters.
It's notpossible.
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00:07:05,724 --> 00:07:07,965
It's just that, weplay
board games for the theme.
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00:07:07,965 --> 00:07:09,896
We want to be
pirates or Vikings.
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00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,275
You know what the girls
think about?
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00:07:11,275 --> 00:07:13,275
They think about red cubes
versus blue cubes
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00:07:13,275 --> 00:07:15,034
and how much of this equals
that many victory points.
186
00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:16,517
They're just doing math!
187
00:07:16,517 --> 00:07:18,172
So, they're smarter than you
188
00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:19,896
and beating you
at all the board games.
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00:07:19,896 --> 00:07:21,000
Yes.
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00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,413
No!
No!
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00:07:22,413 --> 00:07:24,241
It's just different.
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00:07:24,241 --> 00:07:26,965
Look, we started Dice Studz
[voice breaking] with a dream.
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00:07:26,965 --> 00:07:28,620
A dream that that we could
actually do something
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00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:32,620
interesting at school
just for like 60 minutes.
195
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:35,448
"Nothing we can do," he said.
"Hands are tied," he said.
196
00:07:35,448 --> 00:07:37,241
We're gonna have to deal with
this ourselves, you guys.
197
00:07:37,241 --> 00:07:39,241
I think Nichole and Tammy
are cool to play with.
198
00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:40,551
Well, you won't
think they're cool
199
00:07:40,551 --> 00:07:42,103
when the rest of us
leave Dice Studz,
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00:07:42,103 --> 00:07:43,862
and you're left to play
only solo board games.
201
00:07:43,862 --> 00:07:45,758
You mean like "Nemo's War"?
"Nemo's War" is sweet.
202
00:07:45,758 --> 00:07:47,586
Look, maybe we just gotta
play harder stuff,
203
00:07:47,586 --> 00:07:49,241
you know, stuff the girls
can't keep up with.
204
00:07:49,241 --> 00:07:51,034
Hey,
that's not a bad idea!
205
00:07:51,034 --> 00:07:52,620
We been takin' it easy
on the girls.
206
00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:54,448
Time to show 'em what
real board gamers play!
207
00:07:54,448 --> 00:07:55,931
What do real
board gamers play?
208
00:07:55,931 --> 00:07:57,620
Well, if you want
something hard,
209
00:07:57,620 --> 00:07:59,241
then you need a really crunchy
Euro game, something like
210
00:07:59,241 --> 00:08:02,310
a Vital Lacerda's "Escape Plan,"
or a Uwe Rosenburg euro.
211
00:08:02,310 --> 00:08:03,655
Do they involve math?
212
00:08:03,655 --> 00:08:04,793
Well, all euros are
pretty mathy.
213
00:08:04,793 --> 00:08:06,241
Nope, no good.
214
00:08:06,241 --> 00:08:07,586
We need something with
lots of, like, war
215
00:08:07,586 --> 00:08:09,310
and dice and thematic shit.
216
00:08:09,310 --> 00:08:11,172
So, then you want
a war miniatures game,
217
00:08:11,172 --> 00:08:12,862
something skirmish-style, like
"Legion" or "Blood & Plunder."
218
00:08:12,862 --> 00:08:14,793
Dude, you're really
into board games.
219
00:08:14,793 --> 00:08:16,068
Alright. That's it, guys!
220
00:08:16,068 --> 00:08:17,517
Dice Studz gamers club
is about to go
221
00:08:17,517 --> 00:08:19,551
tabletop miniatures.
222
00:08:19,551 --> 00:08:21,034
[ Babies coo ]
223
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:23,310
Emory, stop playing
with your food.
224
00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:24,482
[ Doorbell rings ]
225
00:08:24,482 --> 00:08:26,000
I'll get it.
226
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:31,034
Hey, what's goin' on?
Is your girlfriend home?
227
00:08:31,034 --> 00:08:33,965
Oh, she's sort of busy
right now, Ms. Swanson.
228
00:08:33,965 --> 00:08:35,586
Just want to tell her
no hard feelings
229
00:08:35,586 --> 00:08:38,448
about me winning
the Strong Woman Competition.
230
00:08:38,448 --> 00:08:40,827
Yeah, you already told her that
at the competition.
231
00:08:40,827 --> 00:08:42,448
You got a problem
with me?
232
00:08:42,448 --> 00:08:43,793
'Cause it's starting
to seem like
233
00:08:43,793 --> 00:08:45,103
you have
a problem with me.
234
00:08:45,103 --> 00:08:47,000
What's going on --
Oh, hi, Heather.
235
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,793
I was just stopping by
to make sure
236
00:08:48,793 --> 00:08:50,620
you're not
too beat up.
237
00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:52,862
Oh, that's
really cool.
238
00:08:52,862 --> 00:08:55,000
I'm sorry, but I have all
the kids right now,
239
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,655
and they're-Oh, where are
the little kiddos?!
240
00:08:56,655 --> 00:08:58,517
I'd love to meet them.
241
00:08:58,517 --> 00:09:01,448
Oh! Hey, kids!
There's a lot of you.
242
00:09:01,448 --> 00:09:05,034
Your mom must be a strong woman
to take care of all of you.
243
00:09:05,034 --> 00:09:08,137
Of course, Ihave
the Strong Woman trophy, though.
244
00:09:08,137 --> 00:09:10,379
[ Chuckles ]
Just kidding right?
245
00:09:10,379 --> 00:09:12,137
Look, why don't you just
get out of here.
246
00:09:12,137 --> 00:09:16,206
Oooh, sounds like someone here
is a transphobe.
247
00:09:16,206 --> 00:09:17,551
Don't you dare.
248
00:09:17,551 --> 00:09:19,517
I'm trans peoples'
biggest supporter.
249
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,206
What I think you are is
a terrible sport!
250
00:09:22,206 --> 00:09:24,206
Transphobe!You better knock it off!
251
00:09:24,206 --> 00:09:26,344
Just don't -- you're gonna
upset the PC Babies.
252
00:09:26,344 --> 00:09:28,206
And if you dare call me
a transphobe again,
253
00:09:28,206 --> 00:09:29,655
I'm gonna --You're gonna what?
254
00:09:29,655 --> 00:09:31,379
Beat me up?
255
00:09:31,379 --> 00:09:33,758
You gonna beat me up,
transphobe?
256
00:09:33,758 --> 00:09:36,517
Yeah,
I didn't think so.
257
00:09:36,517 --> 00:09:38,310
See you later kids.
258
00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:40,689
Come on over and see
ol' Auntie Heather
259
00:09:40,689 --> 00:09:44,862
If you wanna see what
a real strong woman is like.
260
00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:49,344
Are you feeling
what I'm feeling?
261
00:09:49,344 --> 00:09:50,551
What do you mean?
262
00:09:50,551 --> 00:09:52,206
I don't know
what it is but...
263
00:09:52,206 --> 00:09:54,896
something about that woman
just doesn't seem right.
264
00:09:54,896 --> 00:09:58,172
♪♪
265
00:10:00,482 --> 00:10:03,413
And now back to
"PC Babies!"
266
00:10:06,137 --> 00:10:07,931
Hey, guys.
Hope it's cool we brought Kelly.
267
00:10:07,931 --> 00:10:09,103
She wants to be
in the club, too.
268
00:10:09,103 --> 00:10:11,551
Oh, yes!
That's very cool, girls!
269
00:10:11,551 --> 00:10:13,310
We're just setting up
today's game.
270
00:10:13,310 --> 00:10:15,793
It's a pirate miniatures game
called "Blood & Plunder."
271
00:10:15,793 --> 00:10:18,620
Yeah, we saw it on the schedule.We love "Blood & Plunder."
272
00:10:18,620 --> 00:10:20,034
Are we gonna play, like,
a four-on-four skirmish
273
00:10:20,034 --> 00:10:21,758
with two
different factions?
274
00:10:23,241 --> 00:10:24,827
Whoa.
You painted your miniatures?
275
00:10:24,827 --> 00:10:27,103
Yeah who wants unpainted
miniatures, right?
276
00:10:27,103 --> 00:10:28,793
Where'd you learn
to do that?
277
00:10:28,793 --> 00:10:31,137
We watch YouTube tutorials.
You can find a bunch on BGG.
278
00:10:31,137 --> 00:10:32,379
I love BGG!
279
00:10:32,379 --> 00:10:33,793
Oh, cool.
Do you watch Game Night?
280
00:10:33,793 --> 00:10:35,931
Excuse me!
281
00:10:35,931 --> 00:10:38,931
We are going to play the
six-hour long, very thematic
282
00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:40,793
"Nemesis."
283
00:10:40,793 --> 00:10:42,965
Oh, cool, we just watched
the tutorial for that
284
00:10:42,965 --> 00:10:44,241
on "Dice Tower."
285
00:10:45,931 --> 00:10:48,241
NARRATOR: And now back
to "Women in Sports"
286
00:10:48,241 --> 00:10:50,620
with Janet Spears.
287
00:10:50,620 --> 00:10:52,551
Our next guest has been
really lighting it up
288
00:10:52,551 --> 00:10:54,068
in women's competitions.
289
00:10:54,068 --> 00:10:57,137
Since she's identified as female
two weeks ago,
290
00:10:57,137 --> 00:10:59,793
she's won every female sport
she's entered.
291
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,931
Please welcome
Heather Swanson.
292
00:11:01,931 --> 00:11:03,172
Well, thank you, Janet.
293
00:11:03,172 --> 00:11:05,206
It's a great pleasure
to be here.
294
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:08,034
I know that I am an inspiration
to all women
295
00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:10,000
and trans athletes
everywhere.
296
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,931
Yes.
We are all truly inspired.
297
00:11:12,931 --> 00:11:14,689
Now, there are
some women out there
298
00:11:14,689 --> 00:11:17,482
who just want
to run and hide.
299
00:11:17,482 --> 00:11:20,034
I'm talkin' to you,
Strong Woman.
300
00:11:20,034 --> 00:11:22,965
You still dare to
call yourself that?
301
00:11:22,965 --> 00:11:24,896
Your name is a joke,
302
00:11:24,896 --> 00:11:26,724
because ol'
Heather Swanson here
303
00:11:26,724 --> 00:11:30,793
will beat you anywhere,
anytime, at anything.
304
00:11:32,862 --> 00:11:34,172
Hey...
305
00:11:34,172 --> 00:11:35,793
Don't let her get
to you, Strong.
306
00:11:35,793 --> 00:11:37,551
She's not getting to me.
307
00:11:37,551 --> 00:11:38,896
You know,
I don't know why
308
00:11:38,896 --> 00:11:40,793
she has such a grudge
against you but --
309
00:11:40,793 --> 00:11:44,310
Because I know her!
310
00:11:44,310 --> 00:11:46,482
What do you mean?
311
00:11:46,482 --> 00:11:47,965
It's Blade Jaggart.
312
00:11:47,965 --> 00:11:51,827
He --
Sheis my ex boyfriend.
313
00:11:51,827 --> 00:11:54,448
Wha...
314
00:11:54,448 --> 00:11:58,000
Back when we were together,
he was such an asshole.
315
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,551
When I finally
broke up with him,
316
00:11:59,551 --> 00:12:02,413
he said, one day,
he was going to get me back.
317
00:12:02,413 --> 00:12:04,896
And now he's got us both
by the balls.
318
00:12:04,896 --> 00:12:08,551
But then she doesn't really care
about trans people
319
00:12:08,551 --> 00:12:09,931
orwomen?
320
00:12:09,931 --> 00:12:12,689
He hates wom--
Shehates women.
321
00:12:12,689 --> 00:12:15,275
When I left him, he felt like
he got beat by a girl,
322
00:12:15,275 --> 00:12:17,689
and nothing makes Blade Jaggart
more crazy
323
00:12:17,689 --> 00:12:19,862
than getting
beat by a girl.
324
00:12:19,862 --> 00:12:23,724
I didn't even know people
like that existed.
325
00:12:23,724 --> 00:12:25,379
CARTMAN: It is unfair.
326
00:12:25,379 --> 00:12:27,965
It is tyrannous,
and it is wrong!
327
00:12:27,965 --> 00:12:29,862
Dice Studz is
a board game group
328
00:12:29,862 --> 00:12:32,620
that brings thrills and laughter
to dozens of boys at our school.
329
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:35,068
But that laughter is
being turned into screams
330
00:12:35,068 --> 00:12:37,344
as girls constantly invade
with their unfairness.
331
00:12:37,344 --> 00:12:39,344
The girls found Eric
on the first round
332
00:12:39,344 --> 00:12:40,931
of "Fury of Dracula"!
333
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:46,344
Yes, inclusion is wonderful,
but we have to admit
334
00:12:46,344 --> 00:12:48,068
that boys and girls
are simply different
335
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:51,103
in some ways that can sometimes
make competitions unfair.
336
00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:53,689
Have you ever seen how girls
do their homework?
337
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:56,517
They do it thatnight.
338
00:12:56,517 --> 00:12:58,448
Meticulously
going over every detail
339
00:12:58,448 --> 00:13:00,896
and often finishing before
they absolutely have to.
340
00:13:00,896 --> 00:13:03,275
This is how girls are with
board game rule books.
341
00:13:03,275 --> 00:13:04,758
Before we even start playing,
342
00:13:04,758 --> 00:13:06,344
they've already strategized
a way to win,
343
00:13:06,344 --> 00:13:08,310
leaving others...
in the dust.
344
00:13:08,310 --> 00:13:10,931
And now I'd like for you
to hear from my friend Scott,
345
00:13:10,931 --> 00:13:12,620
who has diabetes.
346
00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:16,137
"My name is Scott Malkinson,
and I have diabetes."
347
00:13:16,137 --> 00:13:17,758
[ Whispers ]
Terminaldiabetes.
348
00:13:17,758 --> 00:13:19,827
"I have terminal diabetes.
349
00:13:19,827 --> 00:13:22,000
Board games are the only thing
that give me relief
350
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,344
from the physical
and mental anguish
351
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:24,931
I experience every day."
352
00:13:24,931 --> 00:13:26,655
Wow, Scott,
I didn't know it was that bad.
353
00:13:26,655 --> 00:13:28,517
Neither did I.
354
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:30,689
"Dice Studz is my only
shot at happiness.
355
00:13:30,689 --> 00:13:33,068
Please don't let outdated
school policies destroy it."
356
00:13:33,068 --> 00:13:34,482
Wow.
Thank you, Scott.
357
00:13:34,482 --> 00:13:36,379
Diabetes everyone.
358
00:13:36,379 --> 00:13:38,689
We hope that our presentation
has helped to change your minds
359
00:13:38,689 --> 00:13:40,586
about school clubs
in our country.
360
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:43,620
If not, we will be back
every...single...day.
361
00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:49,103
Please, let Dice Studz
be for studs.
362
00:13:49,103 --> 00:13:52,482
Women's MMA fighting
is growing in popularity
363
00:13:52,482 --> 00:13:56,965
and no other female fighter is
as explosive as Heather Swanson.
364
00:13:56,965 --> 00:13:59,137
Yeah!
365
00:13:59,137 --> 00:14:01,068
Heather, your story
is an inspiration
366
00:14:01,068 --> 00:14:02,758
to sports fans
everywhere.
367
00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:05,724
Congratulations on
your shocking success.
368
00:14:05,724 --> 00:14:08,793
I just hope I can motivate
little girls out there.
369
00:14:08,793 --> 00:14:10,689
Motivate them
to understand
370
00:14:10,689 --> 00:14:13,793
that I will beat them
at any sport they try.
371
00:14:13,793 --> 00:14:15,758
Motivate them to run away
372
00:14:15,758 --> 00:14:19,034
like that chicken shit
Strong Woman did because I --
373
00:14:19,034 --> 00:14:21,206
PC PRINCIPAL: Alright. Alright.
That's enough.
374
00:14:21,206 --> 00:14:23,068
You, uh...
You made your point, Heather.
375
00:14:23,068 --> 00:14:25,827
We get it, okay?Oh, hey, Transphobe.
376
00:14:25,827 --> 00:14:28,034
This is a nice surprise.
377
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,206
Oh, God.
What is he doing?
378
00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:32,896
Look, everyone I know
we're all a little...
379
00:14:32,896 --> 00:14:35,551
afraid to have any opinions
on this stuff,
380
00:14:35,551 --> 00:14:38,827
but there can be situations
where it's...
381
00:14:38,827 --> 00:14:41,724
not so east to...
382
00:14:41,724 --> 00:14:43,206
What I mean is...
[Stammers]
383
00:14:43,206 --> 00:14:45,241
I didn't count
on being the best
384
00:14:45,241 --> 00:14:47,241
since identifying
as a woman.
385
00:14:47,241 --> 00:14:49,241
Yeah, no shit, 'cause you went
through puberty as a male,
386
00:14:49,241 --> 00:14:51,551
so your body is
completely different.
387
00:14:53,482 --> 00:14:56,862
And that's exactly what
a transphobe would say!
388
00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:58,862
I told you not to
call me a transphobe.
389
00:14:58,862 --> 00:15:01,482
All I want is
to have a discussion.
390
00:15:01,482 --> 00:15:03,379
Transphobe.
391
00:15:06,793 --> 00:15:09,103
[ Screams, sobs ]
392
00:15:09,103 --> 00:15:11,379
Oh, shit.
393
00:15:11,379 --> 00:15:13,068
[ Sighs ]
394
00:15:13,068 --> 00:15:14,620
Isn't this nice, you guys?
395
00:15:14,620 --> 00:15:16,758
Clean fresh air,
soothing sounds...
396
00:15:16,758 --> 00:15:19,517
just us boys and
"Star Trek: Ascendancy."
397
00:15:19,517 --> 00:15:20,655
Hey, fellas!
398
00:15:20,655 --> 00:15:22,068
Come quick!
You gotta see!
399
00:15:22,068 --> 00:15:23,103
See what?
400
00:15:23,103 --> 00:15:24,413
Well, it's the girls!
401
00:15:24,413 --> 00:15:25,793
They started
their own board game club
402
00:15:25,793 --> 00:15:27,068
at the school!
403
00:15:30,379 --> 00:15:31,413
CARTMAN: "Board Girls"?
404
00:15:31,413 --> 00:15:33,275
How lame is that.
405
00:15:43,448 --> 00:15:45,655
The fuck is this?Wow!
406
00:15:45,655 --> 00:15:48,275
Well, this is just like what you
said Dice Studz would be, Eric!
407
00:15:48,275 --> 00:15:50,241
Oh, hey, guys.
Welcome to Board Girls.
408
00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:51,655
Wanna have a look around?
409
00:15:51,655 --> 00:15:53,413
So, over here,
we have our co-op games.
410
00:15:53,413 --> 00:15:54,896
I think they're doing
"Sub Terra" right now.
411
00:15:54,896 --> 00:15:56,620
And there, we do our deck
and engine builders.
412
00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:58,206
Have you tried "Inuit"?
It's really cool.
413
00:15:58,206 --> 00:15:59,931
We have miniatures painting
over there,
414
00:15:59,931 --> 00:16:02,379
and most of our miniatures
gaming happens in that area.
415
00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:04,275
Hey those girls are playing
"Crisis Protocol"?!
416
00:16:04,275 --> 00:16:05,655
That's not even out yet!
417
00:16:05,655 --> 00:16:07,620
Yeah, we get advanced
copies of games
418
00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:10,172
because our club reviews them
for our gaming channel.
419
00:16:10,172 --> 00:16:12,551
MR. MACKEY: Hey, boys!
You need to get out, mkay!
420
00:16:12,551 --> 00:16:14,448
No boys in the girls'
school clubs.
421
00:16:14,448 --> 00:16:16,724
Come on, let's go.STAN: What?! Who says?
422
00:16:16,724 --> 00:16:18,827
New school policy,
came down from the top.
423
00:16:18,827 --> 00:16:20,137
Now get your asses
outta there.
424
00:16:20,137 --> 00:16:22,172
Well, who made up
that stupid rule?
425
00:16:22,172 --> 00:16:25,068
Yeah, who made up
that stupid rule?
426
00:16:29,172 --> 00:16:32,482
[ Sadly ] We now return
to "PC Babies."
427
00:16:32,482 --> 00:16:38,931
♪♪
428
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:45,448
♪♪
429
00:16:45,448 --> 00:16:49,241
Are you just...
not gonna come home?
430
00:16:49,241 --> 00:16:53,931
How am I gonna look my kids
in the eyes, Strong?
431
00:16:53,931 --> 00:16:56,896
Since they were born,
we've taught them to accept
432
00:16:56,896 --> 00:16:59,379
and fight for those
who are marginalized,
433
00:16:59,379 --> 00:17:01,482
that there's no grey area
when it comes
434
00:17:01,482 --> 00:17:03,758
to inclusion
and acceptance.
435
00:17:03,758 --> 00:17:05,586
When I go back,
all they are going to see
436
00:17:05,586 --> 00:17:07,965
is a big fat hypocrite.
437
00:17:07,965 --> 00:17:09,724
And now I just used a word
to shame people
438
00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:11,413
with weight issues.
439
00:17:11,413 --> 00:17:13,275
♪♪
440
00:17:13,275 --> 00:17:15,586
"P"...
you can't just shut down
441
00:17:15,586 --> 00:17:17,827
because you're afraid of how
the babies are going to react.
442
00:17:17,827 --> 00:17:21,000
I didn't shove him --
her -- for being trans.
443
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,068
I shoved her because
she's your ex boyfriend
444
00:17:24,068 --> 00:17:25,724
and she's being a dick.
445
00:17:25,724 --> 00:17:29,034
Do you think the PC Babies
will see the nuance?
446
00:17:29,034 --> 00:17:31,620
You know how they are.
They're babies.
447
00:17:31,620 --> 00:17:34,482
Their minds are made up
before anyone says anything.
448
00:17:34,482 --> 00:17:37,137
Then I've really got only
one thing I can do.
449
00:17:37,137 --> 00:17:38,586
I have to try
and make things right
450
00:17:38,586 --> 00:17:40,206
with Heather Swanson.
451
00:17:40,586 --> 00:17:43,413
Uh, hey, students.
452
00:17:43,413 --> 00:17:44,862
As you know,
453
00:17:44,862 --> 00:17:46,827
we've had some issues
here at the school
454
00:17:46,827 --> 00:17:49,655
that we are working very hard
to correct.
455
00:17:49,655 --> 00:17:51,310
So, today we are...
456
00:17:51,310 --> 00:17:54,793
honored to have
a motivational speaker.
457
00:17:54,793 --> 00:17:56,862
She is the current
Strong Woman Champion
458
00:17:56,862 --> 00:17:59,482
and also the champion
in Women's MMA fighting
459
00:17:59,482 --> 00:18:01,896
and in
Women's Wrestling.
460
00:18:01,896 --> 00:18:05,206
Please welcome
the inspiring Heather Swanson.
461
00:18:05,206 --> 00:18:07,310
[ Up-beat music plays ]
462
00:18:07,310 --> 00:18:09,034
Yeeaah!
463
00:18:09,034 --> 00:18:11,965
Fuck yeah!
464
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:20,482
♪♪
465
00:18:20,482 --> 00:18:22,724
♪ Oh, my God♪
466
00:18:25,655 --> 00:18:27,586
Hello, boys and girls.
467
00:18:27,586 --> 00:18:29,655
I'm here to talk to you
because, apparently,
468
00:18:29,655 --> 00:18:31,965
your school leaders
have failed you.
469
00:18:31,965 --> 00:18:33,827
I'm gonna tell you
something, kids.
470
00:18:33,827 --> 00:18:36,344
There's only one thing that
matters in this world,
471
00:18:36,344 --> 00:18:38,344
and that's being the best.
472
00:18:38,344 --> 00:18:41,206
Your Vice Principal teaches
you girls to be strong,
473
00:18:41,206 --> 00:18:44,517
but she comes in second.
474
00:18:44,517 --> 00:18:48,137
You got anything to say
about that, PC Principal?
475
00:18:48,137 --> 00:18:50,620
No, Ms. Swanson.
476
00:18:50,620 --> 00:18:52,724
"No, Ms. Swanson."
477
00:18:54,241 --> 00:18:56,862
You see, people don't
look up to losers.
478
00:18:56,862 --> 00:18:59,689
They look up to champions.
479
00:18:59,689 --> 00:19:01,862
And every time
I beat another woman,
480
00:19:01,862 --> 00:19:03,379
I feel better.
481
00:19:03,379 --> 00:19:04,862
Dude, I really
like this person.
482
00:19:04,862 --> 00:19:07,068
And that's why I'm the best!
483
00:19:07,068 --> 00:19:10,034
Because Heather Swanson
doesn't get beat.
484
00:19:10,034 --> 00:19:12,551
I work to be the best
at everything!
485
00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:15,482
And Heather Swanson will
beat any other woman
486
00:19:15,482 --> 00:19:17,827
any time, anywhere!
487
00:19:17,896 --> 00:19:20,241
Bet you can't beat Nichole
at "Blood Rage."
488
00:19:20,241 --> 00:19:21,620
What?!
489
00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:24,068
Wh-What did you say,
transphobe?
490
00:19:24,068 --> 00:19:26,896
Yeah, but I bet you can't
beat Tammy at "War of the Ring."
491
00:19:26,896 --> 00:19:29,793
You don't disrespect a champion,
little girls!
492
00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:32,931
You think Heather Swanson
doesn't know board games?!
493
00:19:32,931 --> 00:19:35,137
I was playing board games
before your mom
494
00:19:35,137 --> 00:19:37,275
even crapped you
out of her vagina.
495
00:19:37,275 --> 00:19:38,965
Okay. So, then,
let's do it, bitch.
496
00:19:38,965 --> 00:19:40,758
Oh, it's on.
497
00:19:40,758 --> 00:19:45,724
♪♪
498
00:19:45,724 --> 00:19:48,172
♪ Tabletop bloodbath,
nothing left to say ♪
499
00:19:48,172 --> 00:19:50,413
♪ Your moment is here,
time to make 'em pay ♪
500
00:19:50,413 --> 00:19:52,413
♪ Strong Woman! ♪♪ Strong Woman ♪
501
00:19:52,413 --> 00:19:53,896
♪ Strong! ♪
502
00:19:53,896 --> 00:19:55,620
♪ Woman! ♪
503
00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:57,931
♪ Smoke the competition,
show 'em what you got ♪
504
00:19:57,931 --> 00:19:59,965
♪ All your painted miniatures
are really paying off ♪
505
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:02,103
♪ Strong Woman! ♪♪ Strong Woman ♪
506
00:20:02,103 --> 00:20:04,068
♪ Strong! ♪
507
00:20:04,068 --> 00:20:05,206
♪ Woman! ♪
508
00:20:05,206 --> 00:20:07,586
♪ Hey, wow ♪
509
00:20:07,586 --> 00:20:09,724
♪ Who's the Strong Woman now? ♪
510
00:20:09,724 --> 00:20:12,310
♪ And hey, you ♪
511
00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:14,655
♪ Thought you were the best,
but you're about to lose ♪
512
00:20:14,655 --> 00:20:16,896
♪ To the Board Girls,
they got the moves ♪
513
00:20:16,896 --> 00:20:18,448
♪ They pummeled you
at "Alchemists" ♪
514
00:20:18,448 --> 00:20:19,931
♪ And kicked your ass
in "Carcosonne" ♪
515
00:20:19,931 --> 00:20:21,965
♪ Board Girls,
they know all the rules ♪
516
00:20:21,965 --> 00:20:24,620
♪ They watch Rodney Smith,
Tom Vasel, and Becca Scott ♪
517
00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:26,586
♪ Hey, cool ♪
518
00:20:26,586 --> 00:20:29,034
♪ They made you look a fool ♪
519
00:20:29,034 --> 00:20:31,655
♪ And hey, sweet ♪
520
00:20:31,655 --> 00:20:34,034
♪ Take a step down,
you just got beat ♪
521
00:20:34,034 --> 00:20:35,758
♪ By the Board Girls ♪
522
00:20:35,758 --> 00:20:38,137
[ All cheering ]♪ Strong! ♪
523
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,620
♪ Strong Woman, Strong Woman! ♪HEATHER: You think that's fair?!
524
00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:42,551
You only won because
you dumb girls
525
00:20:42,551 --> 00:20:44,413
memorize the rule books!
526
00:20:44,413 --> 00:20:48,000
When I play games, I just wanna
be a pirate or a spaceman.
527
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,103
That's right!
You and your stupid rules!
528
00:20:51,103 --> 00:20:54,931
I may identify as a woman now,
but I grew up a boy
529
00:20:54,931 --> 00:20:57,206
and so you have
an unfair advantage over me!
530
00:20:57,206 --> 00:20:59,620
Yeah, an unfair advantage,
you stupid girls!
531
00:20:59,620 --> 00:21:03,172
Come on, Ms. Swanson.
We can go make our own club!
532
00:21:04,344 --> 00:21:06,655
[ Cheering resumes ]
533
00:21:09,482 --> 00:21:11,551
You sure
you're ready for this?
534
00:21:11,551 --> 00:21:14,000
I just want to
get it over with.
535
00:21:14,758 --> 00:21:15,931
-Mommy!
-Momma!
536
00:21:15,931 --> 00:21:17,344
-Mommy!
-Yay, Mommmy!
537
00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:20,034
Yes, kids.
And look who else is here.
538
00:21:21,758 --> 00:21:22,931
-Daddy!
-Daddy!
539
00:21:22,931 --> 00:21:24,758
-Yeah, Daddy!
-Dada!
540
00:21:24,758 --> 00:21:26,689
Dada.
I wove you.
541
00:21:26,689 --> 00:21:29,000
I --
I don't understand.
542
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,620
They don't care.
543
00:21:30,620 --> 00:21:32,275
They must see the nuance
544
00:21:32,275 --> 00:21:34,482
to this whole situation.You're right!
545
00:21:34,482 --> 00:21:37,000
They realize that raising
a gender-based issue of strength
546
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,034
doesn't necessarily make one
a bigot or a bully.
547
00:21:39,034 --> 00:21:40,344
All this time,
we were worried
548
00:21:40,344 --> 00:21:41,827
what the PC Babies
would think.
549
00:21:41,827 --> 00:21:43,517
And we didn't realize
550
00:21:43,517 --> 00:21:46,206
that our little babies
are growing up.
551
00:21:46,206 --> 00:21:48,862
[ Laughter ]
552
00:21:48,862 --> 00:21:53,862
♪♪
553
00:21:56,000 --> 00:22:05,586
♪♪
554
00:22:05,586 --> 00:22:15,275
♪♪
555
00:22:15,275 --> 00:22:24,862
♪♪
41298
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