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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,172 --> 00:00:12,689 ♪♪ 2 00:00:12,689 --> 00:00:15,068 ♪ PC Babies! ♪ 3 00:00:15,068 --> 00:00:16,862 ♪ They're comin' to your town! ♪ 4 00:00:16,862 --> 00:00:19,862 NARRATOR: The PC Babies! 5 00:00:19,862 --> 00:00:22,137 ♪ The wokest kids around! ♪ 6 00:00:22,137 --> 00:00:24,586 ♪ When there's something problematic ♪ 7 00:00:24,586 --> 00:00:26,931 ♪ They're sure to let you know! ♪ 8 00:00:26,931 --> 00:00:29,517 ♪ Making things fun and gender neutral ♪ 9 00:00:29,517 --> 00:00:32,000 ♪ Everywhere they go ♪ 10 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,068 ♪ They're everybody's fave-sies ♪ 11 00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:37,896 ♪ They're PC Babies, yeah! ♪ 12 00:00:40,413 --> 00:00:41,793 And now back to "PC Babies!" 13 00:00:41,793 --> 00:00:43,724 [ Cries, giggles ] 14 00:00:45,793 --> 00:00:46,758 [ Grunting ] 15 00:00:46,758 --> 00:00:48,482 Yeah! Who's strong? 16 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:49,448 I'm strong. 17 00:00:49,448 --> 00:00:50,413 Who's a strong woman? 18 00:00:50,413 --> 00:00:51,758 I'm a strong woman! 19 00:00:51,758 --> 00:00:52,965 You are gonna smoke the competition! 20 00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:54,448 I'm gonna smoke the competition! 21 00:00:54,448 --> 00:00:55,482 [ PC Babies crying ] 22 00:00:55,482 --> 00:00:57,413 Oh no. It's the babies. 23 00:00:57,413 --> 00:01:00,413 [ All crying ] 24 00:01:00,413 --> 00:01:02,379 Kids! Kids, okay! What's the matter? 25 00:01:02,379 --> 00:01:05,965 Oh, no. I left Disney+ on, and it went to "Mulan." 26 00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:07,517 PC PRINCIPAL: They don't like Mulan? 27 00:01:07,517 --> 00:01:10,448 No, because Mulan is a female that identifies as male 28 00:01:10,448 --> 00:01:11,793 and yet the movie doesn't take the time 29 00:01:11,793 --> 00:01:15,379 to address real trans issues. 30 00:01:15,379 --> 00:01:17,620 Okay! Okay! We know -- "Mulan" is outdated 31 00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:19,965 in creating straw dog characters to talk about trans issues. 32 00:01:19,965 --> 00:01:21,724 Daddy's turning it off.[ Remote clicks ] 33 00:01:21,724 --> 00:01:24,827 But just how many advocates has yet to be seen... 34 00:01:24,827 --> 00:01:26,310 [ PC Babies giggle, coo ] 35 00:01:26,310 --> 00:01:28,379 PC PRINCIPAL: Alright. Everyone, listen up. 36 00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:29,896 As you know, this school is a place 37 00:01:29,896 --> 00:01:31,482 where everyone should feel included. 38 00:01:31,482 --> 00:01:33,655 Our challenge is to motivate ourselves and others 39 00:01:33,655 --> 00:01:36,103 to create an inviting, non-bigoted and -- 40 00:01:36,103 --> 00:01:38,000 Hey, Stotch, you got a fuckin' problem? 41 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,448 No, sir! 42 00:01:39,448 --> 00:01:41,344 Now, I think that what we all need 43 00:01:41,344 --> 00:01:44,103 are leaders who motivate by example. 44 00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:46,137 And so I would like to inform you all 45 00:01:46,137 --> 00:01:48,689 that your vice principal is competing 46 00:01:48,689 --> 00:01:51,206 in the Strong Woman Competition in Morrison this weekend! 47 00:01:51,206 --> 00:01:52,482 Let's hear it for her. 48 00:01:52,482 --> 00:01:54,344 [ Applause ] 49 00:01:54,344 --> 00:01:56,965 Well, thank you, PC Principal. 50 00:01:56,965 --> 00:02:00,103 Um, listen, guys, I just hope I can make you proud 51 00:02:00,103 --> 00:02:02,275 and, more importantly, I hope you can see 52 00:02:02,275 --> 00:02:05,413 that no matter who you are, you can do anything. 53 00:02:05,413 --> 00:02:07,172 We've really come a long way 54 00:02:07,172 --> 00:02:09,551 breaking down gender binary bigotry, 55 00:02:09,551 --> 00:02:11,620 and I hope I can especially inspire 56 00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:13,413 some of my girl students here. 57 00:02:13,413 --> 00:02:15,413 Or those who identify as girls. 58 00:02:15,413 --> 00:02:17,517 Yes, or those who identify as girls. 59 00:02:17,517 --> 00:02:21,206 Get out there and get involved in school sports and clubs. 60 00:02:21,206 --> 00:02:22,586 If there's something you love, 61 00:02:22,586 --> 00:02:25,379 don't ever let anything hold you back. 62 00:02:27,517 --> 00:02:30,448 The first bugbear lashes out at Stan with its broadsword! 63 00:02:30,448 --> 00:02:31,931 And it hits with a 17! 64 00:02:31,931 --> 00:02:33,413 How much damage is that? 65 00:02:33,413 --> 00:02:35,172 Four plus two slashing. 66 00:02:35,172 --> 00:02:36,862 Okay! I jump up to the bugbear! 67 00:02:36,862 --> 00:02:39,896 And I yell, "For Waterdeep"! And I kick it in the balls! 68 00:02:39,896 --> 00:02:41,448 I don't think bugbears have balls. 69 00:02:41,448 --> 00:02:43,172 Then how do they make baby bugbears? 70 00:02:43,172 --> 00:02:44,275 Oh, hi, boys! 71 00:02:44,275 --> 00:02:45,586 We got some new students 72 00:02:45,586 --> 00:02:47,206 who want to be part of the gaming club. 73 00:02:47,206 --> 00:02:49,000 You know Tammy and Nichole? 74 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,931 Um... 75 00:02:50,931 --> 00:02:52,517 [ Chuckles ] Uh...no. 76 00:02:52,517 --> 00:02:55,068 This is a school club, boys. All clubs are inclusive. 77 00:02:55,068 --> 00:02:56,758 Have fun, girls. 78 00:02:58,241 --> 00:02:59,931 Hey, guys. 79 00:03:02,241 --> 00:03:03,931 [ Whispering ] What the fuck do we do? 80 00:03:03,931 --> 00:03:06,620 Um, guys, we play lots of games here at Dice Studz, 81 00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,034 but today, we're playing "D&D." 82 00:03:08,034 --> 00:03:09,310 You don't just show up and start playing. 83 00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:10,620 You have to generate characters and -- 84 00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:12,068 Yeah, we created some this morning. 85 00:03:12,068 --> 00:03:13,344 I'm a Human Paladin, 86 00:03:13,344 --> 00:03:15,103 and Nichole is a Tiefling Warlock. 87 00:03:15,103 --> 00:03:18,344 [ Whispering ] Do something, Eric. 88 00:03:18,344 --> 00:03:20,931 [ Chuckles ] Uh, guys, um... 89 00:03:20,931 --> 00:03:22,586 they're fighting a bunch of bugbears right now 90 00:03:22,586 --> 00:03:24,448 that are led by a 12th-level Druid. 91 00:03:24,448 --> 00:03:28,275 Okay, I cast Vampiric Touch on the Druid. 92 00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:29,517 Crit. 93 00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:33,586 [ Cheers and applause ] 94 00:03:33,586 --> 00:03:36,068 ANNOUNCER: A beautiful day in Morrison, Colorado, 95 00:03:36,068 --> 00:03:37,896 as we get ready for the 6th Annual 96 00:03:37,896 --> 00:03:39,793 Strong Woman Competition! 97 00:03:39,793 --> 00:03:43,103 A two-day-long competition of tests built to push athletes 98 00:03:43,103 --> 00:03:45,482 to their very limits. 99 00:03:45,482 --> 00:03:47,448 Joining me now is the current champion 100 00:03:47,448 --> 00:03:50,413 of the Strong Woman Competition, Strong Woman. 101 00:03:50,413 --> 00:03:52,172 Ms. Woman, do you feel ready? 102 00:03:52,172 --> 00:03:54,137 Oh, yeah. I'm ready, David. 103 00:03:54,137 --> 00:03:56,275 There are just so many amazing women athletes 104 00:03:56,275 --> 00:03:57,241 out here today. 105 00:03:57,241 --> 00:03:58,758 It makes me so proud. 106 00:03:58,758 --> 00:04:00,241 Now, this is the first year 107 00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:02,344 that a trans woman is in the competition. 108 00:04:02,344 --> 00:04:04,586 How do you feel about that?Amazing. 109 00:04:04,586 --> 00:04:06,413 I feel honored to be a part of history. 110 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,931 I have a lot of incredible trans friends who are athletes, 111 00:04:08,931 --> 00:04:11,655 and so we're all inspired this woman's competing. 112 00:04:11,655 --> 00:04:13,137 Uh-huh, and uh... 113 00:04:13,137 --> 00:04:15,379 have you actually ever met Heather Swanson? 114 00:04:15,379 --> 00:04:18,103 Uh, no, I've never competed against her before. No. 115 00:04:18,103 --> 00:04:20,896 She's not exactly your average trans athlete. 116 00:04:20,896 --> 00:04:23,724 Well, what is an average trans athlete? 117 00:04:23,724 --> 00:04:26,034 Honestly, I find that kind of bigoted, David. 118 00:04:26,034 --> 00:04:29,275 Okay, Heather Swanson is actually joining us now. 119 00:04:29,275 --> 00:04:32,344 Ms. Swanson, how does it feel to be competing today? 120 00:04:32,344 --> 00:04:36,000 I can't tell you how free I feel 121 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:39,172 now that I've started identifying as a woman. 122 00:04:39,172 --> 00:04:41,482 Now that I can compete as female, 123 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:44,758 I'm ready to smash the other girls! 124 00:04:44,758 --> 00:04:47,827 And is it correct you just starting identifying as female 125 00:04:47,827 --> 00:04:49,137 two weeks ago. 126 00:04:49,137 --> 00:04:51,896 I'm not here to talk about my transition. 127 00:04:51,896 --> 00:04:54,344 I'm here to kick some fuckin' ass. 128 00:04:54,344 --> 00:04:57,655 Let me tell you something, Dingleberry --David Perry. 129 00:04:57,655 --> 00:04:59,896 I'm gonna roll up the other women here, 130 00:04:59,896 --> 00:05:02,068 and I'm gonna smoke 'em. 131 00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:06,965 I am the strongest woman this state has ever seen! 132 00:05:06,965 --> 00:05:09,413 Any words for the challenger, Ms. Woman? 133 00:05:09,413 --> 00:05:11,448 Uh, good luck, Heather. 134 00:05:11,448 --> 00:05:14,724 [ Chuckles ] Luck is for dudes. 135 00:05:14,724 --> 00:05:17,620 Well, with that, let's get right to the action. 136 00:05:17,620 --> 00:05:22,448 ♪♪ 137 00:05:22,448 --> 00:05:25,241 ♪ Rising to the top, push it to the edge ♪ 138 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,310 ♪ Give it all you got, barely break a sweat ♪ 139 00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:28,551 ♪ Strong Woman! ♪ 140 00:05:28,551 --> 00:05:32,172 ♪ Strong Woman ♪ 141 00:05:32,172 --> 00:05:34,896 ♪ Yeah, she's got speed, she's got the moves ♪ 142 00:05:34,896 --> 00:05:36,862 ♪ She's got the muscle and a whole lot to prove ♪ 143 00:05:36,862 --> 00:05:38,241 ♪ Strong Woman! ♪ 144 00:05:38,241 --> 00:05:40,241 ♪ Strong Woman! ♪[ Women grunting ] 145 00:05:40,241 --> 00:05:42,413 Arghhhhhh-yeah! 146 00:05:42,413 --> 00:05:44,551 ♪ Hey, you ♪ 147 00:05:44,551 --> 00:05:47,068 ♪ Go strong woman, go ♪ 148 00:05:47,068 --> 00:05:49,275 ♪ Hey, you ♪ 149 00:05:49,275 --> 00:05:53,068 ♪ Your time is now, whatcha gonna do? ♪ 150 00:05:53,068 --> 00:05:55,344 ♪ Pedal to the metal, find another gear ♪ 151 00:05:55,344 --> 00:05:57,620 ♪ She takes what she wants, nothing left to fear ♪ 152 00:05:57,620 --> 00:05:58,931 ♪ Strong Woman! ♪ 153 00:05:58,931 --> 00:06:02,551 ♪ Strong Woman ♪ 154 00:06:02,551 --> 00:06:07,344 ♪ Now, hey girl, you're the best in the world ♪ 155 00:06:07,344 --> 00:06:10,068 ♪ And, hey, hon ♪ 156 00:06:10,068 --> 00:06:12,551 ♪ Don't look now, but you just won ♪ 157 00:06:12,551 --> 00:06:15,310 HEATHER: Hell yeah! I won!♪ Strong Woman ♪ 158 00:06:15,310 --> 00:06:17,448 ♪ Strong woman, strong woman ♪I'm a strong woman! 159 00:06:17,448 --> 00:06:19,896 ♪ Strong woman, strong woman ♪Look at it! Its mine! 160 00:06:19,896 --> 00:06:21,206 ♪ Strong woman ♪I'm the best! 161 00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:23,206 ♪ Strong woman ♪I'm the strongest! 162 00:06:26,965 --> 00:06:28,344 So... 163 00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:30,482 second place -- that's pretty damn good. 164 00:06:30,482 --> 00:06:32,379 Yeah. 165 00:06:33,862 --> 00:06:35,344 I guess she... 166 00:06:35,344 --> 00:06:36,931 just started identifying as a woman 167 00:06:36,931 --> 00:06:38,103 a few weeks ago. 168 00:06:38,103 --> 00:06:40,103 Doesn't really s-seem fair. 169 00:06:40,103 --> 00:06:43,448 Just don't. You'll upset the PC Babies. 170 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,137 CARTMAN: It is unfair! 171 00:06:46,137 --> 00:06:48,655 It is tyrannous, and it is wrong. 172 00:06:48,655 --> 00:06:50,724 Ever since these girls were allowed to join 173 00:06:50,724 --> 00:06:53,000 Dice Studz Gamers Club, it has been a train wreck. 174 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,310 Every single game we play, 175 00:06:54,310 --> 00:06:56,172 they, like, figure out all the rules 176 00:06:56,172 --> 00:06:59,310 and they use the rules to, like, make us look stupid. 177 00:06:59,310 --> 00:07:01,379 IN "D&D," they killed the dungeon master! 178 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,551 We didn't think it was even possible 179 00:07:02,551 --> 00:07:03,965 to kill the dungeon master. 180 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,724 Shut up, Butters. It's notpossible. 181 00:07:05,724 --> 00:07:07,965 It's just that, weplay board games for the theme. 182 00:07:07,965 --> 00:07:09,896 We want to be pirates or Vikings. 183 00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,275 You know what the girls think about? 184 00:07:11,275 --> 00:07:13,275 They think about red cubes versus blue cubes 185 00:07:13,275 --> 00:07:15,034 and how much of this equals that many victory points. 186 00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:16,517 They're just doing math! 187 00:07:16,517 --> 00:07:18,172 So, they're smarter than you 188 00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:19,896 and beating you at all the board games. 189 00:07:19,896 --> 00:07:21,000 Yes. 190 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,413 No! No! 191 00:07:22,413 --> 00:07:24,241 It's just different. 192 00:07:24,241 --> 00:07:26,965 Look, we started Dice Studz [voice breaking] with a dream. 193 00:07:26,965 --> 00:07:28,620 A dream that that we could actually do something 194 00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:32,620 interesting at school just for like 60 minutes. 195 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:35,448 "Nothing we can do," he said. "Hands are tied," he said. 196 00:07:35,448 --> 00:07:37,241 We're gonna have to deal with this ourselves, you guys. 197 00:07:37,241 --> 00:07:39,241 I think Nichole and Tammy are cool to play with. 198 00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:40,551 Well, you won't think they're cool 199 00:07:40,551 --> 00:07:42,103 when the rest of us leave Dice Studz, 200 00:07:42,103 --> 00:07:43,862 and you're left to play only solo board games. 201 00:07:43,862 --> 00:07:45,758 You mean like "Nemo's War"? "Nemo's War" is sweet. 202 00:07:45,758 --> 00:07:47,586 Look, maybe we just gotta play harder stuff, 203 00:07:47,586 --> 00:07:49,241 you know, stuff the girls can't keep up with. 204 00:07:49,241 --> 00:07:51,034 Hey, that's not a bad idea! 205 00:07:51,034 --> 00:07:52,620 We been takin' it easy on the girls. 206 00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:54,448 Time to show 'em what real board gamers play! 207 00:07:54,448 --> 00:07:55,931 What do real board gamers play? 208 00:07:55,931 --> 00:07:57,620 Well, if you want something hard, 209 00:07:57,620 --> 00:07:59,241 then you need a really crunchy Euro game, something like 210 00:07:59,241 --> 00:08:02,310 a Vital Lacerda's "Escape Plan," or a Uwe Rosenburg euro. 211 00:08:02,310 --> 00:08:03,655 Do they involve math? 212 00:08:03,655 --> 00:08:04,793 Well, all euros are pretty mathy. 213 00:08:04,793 --> 00:08:06,241 Nope, no good. 214 00:08:06,241 --> 00:08:07,586 We need something with lots of, like, war 215 00:08:07,586 --> 00:08:09,310 and dice and thematic shit. 216 00:08:09,310 --> 00:08:11,172 So, then you want a war miniatures game, 217 00:08:11,172 --> 00:08:12,862 something skirmish-style, like "Legion" or "Blood & Plunder." 218 00:08:12,862 --> 00:08:14,793 Dude, you're really into board games. 219 00:08:14,793 --> 00:08:16,068 Alright. That's it, guys! 220 00:08:16,068 --> 00:08:17,517 Dice Studz gamers club is about to go 221 00:08:17,517 --> 00:08:19,551 tabletop miniatures. 222 00:08:19,551 --> 00:08:21,034 [ Babies coo ] 223 00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:23,310 Emory, stop playing with your food. 224 00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:24,482 [ Doorbell rings ] 225 00:08:24,482 --> 00:08:26,000 I'll get it. 226 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:31,034 Hey, what's goin' on? Is your girlfriend home? 227 00:08:31,034 --> 00:08:33,965 Oh, she's sort of busy right now, Ms. Swanson. 228 00:08:33,965 --> 00:08:35,586 Just want to tell her no hard feelings 229 00:08:35,586 --> 00:08:38,448 about me winning the Strong Woman Competition. 230 00:08:38,448 --> 00:08:40,827 Yeah, you already told her that at the competition. 231 00:08:40,827 --> 00:08:42,448 You got a problem with me? 232 00:08:42,448 --> 00:08:43,793 'Cause it's starting to seem like 233 00:08:43,793 --> 00:08:45,103 you have a problem with me. 234 00:08:45,103 --> 00:08:47,000 What's going on -- Oh, hi, Heather. 235 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,793 I was just stopping by to make sure 236 00:08:48,793 --> 00:08:50,620 you're not too beat up. 237 00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:52,862 Oh, that's really cool. 238 00:08:52,862 --> 00:08:55,000 I'm sorry, but I have all the kids right now, 239 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,655 and they're-Oh, where are the little kiddos?! 240 00:08:56,655 --> 00:08:58,517 I'd love to meet them. 241 00:08:58,517 --> 00:09:01,448 Oh! Hey, kids! There's a lot of you. 242 00:09:01,448 --> 00:09:05,034 Your mom must be a strong woman to take care of all of you. 243 00:09:05,034 --> 00:09:08,137 Of course, Ihave the Strong Woman trophy, though. 244 00:09:08,137 --> 00:09:10,379 [ Chuckles ] Just kidding right? 245 00:09:10,379 --> 00:09:12,137 Look, why don't you just get out of here. 246 00:09:12,137 --> 00:09:16,206 Oooh, sounds like someone here is a transphobe. 247 00:09:16,206 --> 00:09:17,551 Don't you dare. 248 00:09:17,551 --> 00:09:19,517 I'm trans peoples' biggest supporter. 249 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,206 What I think you are is a terrible sport! 250 00:09:22,206 --> 00:09:24,206 Transphobe!You better knock it off! 251 00:09:24,206 --> 00:09:26,344 Just don't -- you're gonna upset the PC Babies. 252 00:09:26,344 --> 00:09:28,206 And if you dare call me a transphobe again, 253 00:09:28,206 --> 00:09:29,655 I'm gonna --You're gonna what? 254 00:09:29,655 --> 00:09:31,379 Beat me up? 255 00:09:31,379 --> 00:09:33,758 You gonna beat me up, transphobe? 256 00:09:33,758 --> 00:09:36,517 Yeah, I didn't think so. 257 00:09:36,517 --> 00:09:38,310 See you later kids. 258 00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:40,689 Come on over and see ol' Auntie Heather 259 00:09:40,689 --> 00:09:44,862 If you wanna see what a real strong woman is like. 260 00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:49,344 Are you feeling what I'm feeling? 261 00:09:49,344 --> 00:09:50,551 What do you mean? 262 00:09:50,551 --> 00:09:52,206 I don't know what it is but... 263 00:09:52,206 --> 00:09:54,896 something about that woman just doesn't seem right. 264 00:09:54,896 --> 00:09:58,172 ♪♪ 265 00:10:00,482 --> 00:10:03,413 And now back to "PC Babies!" 266 00:10:06,137 --> 00:10:07,931 Hey, guys. Hope it's cool we brought Kelly. 267 00:10:07,931 --> 00:10:09,103 She wants to be in the club, too. 268 00:10:09,103 --> 00:10:11,551 Oh, yes! That's very cool, girls! 269 00:10:11,551 --> 00:10:13,310 We're just setting up today's game. 270 00:10:13,310 --> 00:10:15,793 It's a pirate miniatures game called "Blood & Plunder." 271 00:10:15,793 --> 00:10:18,620 Yeah, we saw it on the schedule.We love "Blood & Plunder." 272 00:10:18,620 --> 00:10:20,034 Are we gonna play, like, a four-on-four skirmish 273 00:10:20,034 --> 00:10:21,758 with two different factions? 274 00:10:23,241 --> 00:10:24,827 Whoa. You painted your miniatures? 275 00:10:24,827 --> 00:10:27,103 Yeah who wants unpainted miniatures, right? 276 00:10:27,103 --> 00:10:28,793 Where'd you learn to do that? 277 00:10:28,793 --> 00:10:31,137 We watch YouTube tutorials. You can find a bunch on BGG. 278 00:10:31,137 --> 00:10:32,379 I love BGG! 279 00:10:32,379 --> 00:10:33,793 Oh, cool. Do you watch Game Night? 280 00:10:33,793 --> 00:10:35,931 Excuse me! 281 00:10:35,931 --> 00:10:38,931 We are going to play the six-hour long, very thematic 282 00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:40,793 "Nemesis." 283 00:10:40,793 --> 00:10:42,965 Oh, cool, we just watched the tutorial for that 284 00:10:42,965 --> 00:10:44,241 on "Dice Tower." 285 00:10:45,931 --> 00:10:48,241 NARRATOR: And now back to "Women in Sports" 286 00:10:48,241 --> 00:10:50,620 with Janet Spears. 287 00:10:50,620 --> 00:10:52,551 Our next guest has been really lighting it up 288 00:10:52,551 --> 00:10:54,068 in women's competitions. 289 00:10:54,068 --> 00:10:57,137 Since she's identified as female two weeks ago, 290 00:10:57,137 --> 00:10:59,793 she's won every female sport she's entered. 291 00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,931 Please welcome Heather Swanson. 292 00:11:01,931 --> 00:11:03,172 Well, thank you, Janet. 293 00:11:03,172 --> 00:11:05,206 It's a great pleasure to be here. 294 00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:08,034 I know that I am an inspiration to all women 295 00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:10,000 and trans athletes everywhere. 296 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,931 Yes. We are all truly inspired. 297 00:11:12,931 --> 00:11:14,689 Now, there are some women out there 298 00:11:14,689 --> 00:11:17,482 who just want to run and hide. 299 00:11:17,482 --> 00:11:20,034 I'm talkin' to you, Strong Woman. 300 00:11:20,034 --> 00:11:22,965 You still dare to call yourself that? 301 00:11:22,965 --> 00:11:24,896 Your name is a joke, 302 00:11:24,896 --> 00:11:26,724 because ol' Heather Swanson here 303 00:11:26,724 --> 00:11:30,793 will beat you anywhere, anytime, at anything. 304 00:11:32,862 --> 00:11:34,172 Hey... 305 00:11:34,172 --> 00:11:35,793 Don't let her get to you, Strong. 306 00:11:35,793 --> 00:11:37,551 She's not getting to me. 307 00:11:37,551 --> 00:11:38,896 You know, I don't know why 308 00:11:38,896 --> 00:11:40,793 she has such a grudge against you but -- 309 00:11:40,793 --> 00:11:44,310 Because I know her! 310 00:11:44,310 --> 00:11:46,482 What do you mean? 311 00:11:46,482 --> 00:11:47,965 It's Blade Jaggart. 312 00:11:47,965 --> 00:11:51,827 He -- Sheis my ex boyfriend. 313 00:11:51,827 --> 00:11:54,448 Wha... 314 00:11:54,448 --> 00:11:58,000 Back when we were together, he was such an asshole. 315 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,551 When I finally broke up with him, 316 00:11:59,551 --> 00:12:02,413 he said, one day, he was going to get me back. 317 00:12:02,413 --> 00:12:04,896 And now he's got us both by the balls. 318 00:12:04,896 --> 00:12:08,551 But then she doesn't really care about trans people 319 00:12:08,551 --> 00:12:09,931 orwomen? 320 00:12:09,931 --> 00:12:12,689 He hates wom-- Shehates women. 321 00:12:12,689 --> 00:12:15,275 When I left him, he felt like he got beat by a girl, 322 00:12:15,275 --> 00:12:17,689 and nothing makes Blade Jaggart more crazy 323 00:12:17,689 --> 00:12:19,862 than getting beat by a girl. 324 00:12:19,862 --> 00:12:23,724 I didn't even know people like that existed. 325 00:12:23,724 --> 00:12:25,379 CARTMAN: It is unfair. 326 00:12:25,379 --> 00:12:27,965 It is tyrannous, and it is wrong! 327 00:12:27,965 --> 00:12:29,862 Dice Studz is a board game group 328 00:12:29,862 --> 00:12:32,620 that brings thrills and laughter to dozens of boys at our school. 329 00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:35,068 But that laughter is being turned into screams 330 00:12:35,068 --> 00:12:37,344 as girls constantly invade with their unfairness. 331 00:12:37,344 --> 00:12:39,344 The girls found Eric on the first round 332 00:12:39,344 --> 00:12:40,931 of "Fury of Dracula"! 333 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:46,344 Yes, inclusion is wonderful, but we have to admit 334 00:12:46,344 --> 00:12:48,068 that boys and girls are simply different 335 00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:51,103 in some ways that can sometimes make competitions unfair. 336 00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:53,689 Have you ever seen how girls do their homework? 337 00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:56,517 They do it thatnight. 338 00:12:56,517 --> 00:12:58,448 Meticulously going over every detail 339 00:12:58,448 --> 00:13:00,896 and often finishing before they absolutely have to. 340 00:13:00,896 --> 00:13:03,275 This is how girls are with board game rule books. 341 00:13:03,275 --> 00:13:04,758 Before we even start playing, 342 00:13:04,758 --> 00:13:06,344 they've already strategized a way to win, 343 00:13:06,344 --> 00:13:08,310 leaving others... in the dust. 344 00:13:08,310 --> 00:13:10,931 And now I'd like for you to hear from my friend Scott, 345 00:13:10,931 --> 00:13:12,620 who has diabetes. 346 00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:16,137 "My name is Scott Malkinson, and I have diabetes." 347 00:13:16,137 --> 00:13:17,758 [ Whispers ] Terminaldiabetes. 348 00:13:17,758 --> 00:13:19,827 "I have terminal diabetes. 349 00:13:19,827 --> 00:13:22,000 Board games are the only thing that give me relief 350 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,344 from the physical and mental anguish 351 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:24,931 I experience every day." 352 00:13:24,931 --> 00:13:26,655 Wow, Scott, I didn't know it was that bad. 353 00:13:26,655 --> 00:13:28,517 Neither did I. 354 00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:30,689 "Dice Studz is my only shot at happiness. 355 00:13:30,689 --> 00:13:33,068 Please don't let outdated school policies destroy it." 356 00:13:33,068 --> 00:13:34,482 Wow. Thank you, Scott. 357 00:13:34,482 --> 00:13:36,379 Diabetes everyone. 358 00:13:36,379 --> 00:13:38,689 We hope that our presentation has helped to change your minds 359 00:13:38,689 --> 00:13:40,586 about school clubs in our country. 360 00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:43,620 If not, we will be back every...single...day. 361 00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:49,103 Please, let Dice Studz be for studs. 362 00:13:49,103 --> 00:13:52,482 Women's MMA fighting is growing in popularity 363 00:13:52,482 --> 00:13:56,965 and no other female fighter is as explosive as Heather Swanson. 364 00:13:56,965 --> 00:13:59,137 Yeah! 365 00:13:59,137 --> 00:14:01,068 Heather, your story is an inspiration 366 00:14:01,068 --> 00:14:02,758 to sports fans everywhere. 367 00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:05,724 Congratulations on your shocking success. 368 00:14:05,724 --> 00:14:08,793 I just hope I can motivate little girls out there. 369 00:14:08,793 --> 00:14:10,689 Motivate them to understand 370 00:14:10,689 --> 00:14:13,793 that I will beat them at any sport they try. 371 00:14:13,793 --> 00:14:15,758 Motivate them to run away 372 00:14:15,758 --> 00:14:19,034 like that chicken shit Strong Woman did because I -- 373 00:14:19,034 --> 00:14:21,206 PC PRINCIPAL: Alright. Alright. That's enough. 374 00:14:21,206 --> 00:14:23,068 You, uh... You made your point, Heather. 375 00:14:23,068 --> 00:14:25,827 We get it, okay?Oh, hey, Transphobe. 376 00:14:25,827 --> 00:14:28,034 This is a nice surprise. 377 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,206 Oh, God. What is he doing? 378 00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:32,896 Look, everyone I know we're all a little... 379 00:14:32,896 --> 00:14:35,551 afraid to have any opinions on this stuff, 380 00:14:35,551 --> 00:14:38,827 but there can be situations where it's... 381 00:14:38,827 --> 00:14:41,724 not so east to... 382 00:14:41,724 --> 00:14:43,206 What I mean is... [Stammers] 383 00:14:43,206 --> 00:14:45,241 I didn't count on being the best 384 00:14:45,241 --> 00:14:47,241 since identifying as a woman. 385 00:14:47,241 --> 00:14:49,241 Yeah, no shit, 'cause you went through puberty as a male, 386 00:14:49,241 --> 00:14:51,551 so your body is completely different. 387 00:14:53,482 --> 00:14:56,862 And that's exactly what a transphobe would say! 388 00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:58,862 I told you not to call me a transphobe. 389 00:14:58,862 --> 00:15:01,482 All I want is to have a discussion. 390 00:15:01,482 --> 00:15:03,379 Transphobe. 391 00:15:06,793 --> 00:15:09,103 [ Screams, sobs ] 392 00:15:09,103 --> 00:15:11,379 Oh, shit. 393 00:15:11,379 --> 00:15:13,068 [ Sighs ] 394 00:15:13,068 --> 00:15:14,620 Isn't this nice, you guys? 395 00:15:14,620 --> 00:15:16,758 Clean fresh air, soothing sounds... 396 00:15:16,758 --> 00:15:19,517 just us boys and "Star Trek: Ascendancy." 397 00:15:19,517 --> 00:15:20,655 Hey, fellas! 398 00:15:20,655 --> 00:15:22,068 Come quick! You gotta see! 399 00:15:22,068 --> 00:15:23,103 See what? 400 00:15:23,103 --> 00:15:24,413 Well, it's the girls! 401 00:15:24,413 --> 00:15:25,793 They started their own board game club 402 00:15:25,793 --> 00:15:27,068 at the school! 403 00:15:30,379 --> 00:15:31,413 CARTMAN: "Board Girls"? 404 00:15:31,413 --> 00:15:33,275 How lame is that. 405 00:15:43,448 --> 00:15:45,655 The fuck is this?Wow! 406 00:15:45,655 --> 00:15:48,275 Well, this is just like what you said Dice Studz would be, Eric! 407 00:15:48,275 --> 00:15:50,241 Oh, hey, guys. Welcome to Board Girls. 408 00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:51,655 Wanna have a look around? 409 00:15:51,655 --> 00:15:53,413 So, over here, we have our co-op games. 410 00:15:53,413 --> 00:15:54,896 I think they're doing "Sub Terra" right now. 411 00:15:54,896 --> 00:15:56,620 And there, we do our deck and engine builders. 412 00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:58,206 Have you tried "Inuit"? It's really cool. 413 00:15:58,206 --> 00:15:59,931 We have miniatures painting over there, 414 00:15:59,931 --> 00:16:02,379 and most of our miniatures gaming happens in that area. 415 00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:04,275 Hey those girls are playing "Crisis Protocol"?! 416 00:16:04,275 --> 00:16:05,655 That's not even out yet! 417 00:16:05,655 --> 00:16:07,620 Yeah, we get advanced copies of games 418 00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:10,172 because our club reviews them for our gaming channel. 419 00:16:10,172 --> 00:16:12,551 MR. MACKEY: Hey, boys! You need to get out, mkay! 420 00:16:12,551 --> 00:16:14,448 No boys in the girls' school clubs. 421 00:16:14,448 --> 00:16:16,724 Come on, let's go.STAN: What?! Who says? 422 00:16:16,724 --> 00:16:18,827 New school policy, came down from the top. 423 00:16:18,827 --> 00:16:20,137 Now get your asses outta there. 424 00:16:20,137 --> 00:16:22,172 Well, who made up that stupid rule? 425 00:16:22,172 --> 00:16:25,068 Yeah, who made up that stupid rule? 426 00:16:29,172 --> 00:16:32,482 [ Sadly ] We now return to "PC Babies." 427 00:16:32,482 --> 00:16:38,931 ♪♪ 428 00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:45,448 ♪♪ 429 00:16:45,448 --> 00:16:49,241 Are you just... not gonna come home? 430 00:16:49,241 --> 00:16:53,931 How am I gonna look my kids in the eyes, Strong? 431 00:16:53,931 --> 00:16:56,896 Since they were born, we've taught them to accept 432 00:16:56,896 --> 00:16:59,379 and fight for those who are marginalized, 433 00:16:59,379 --> 00:17:01,482 that there's no grey area when it comes 434 00:17:01,482 --> 00:17:03,758 to inclusion and acceptance. 435 00:17:03,758 --> 00:17:05,586 When I go back, all they are going to see 436 00:17:05,586 --> 00:17:07,965 is a big fat hypocrite. 437 00:17:07,965 --> 00:17:09,724 And now I just used a word to shame people 438 00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:11,413 with weight issues. 439 00:17:11,413 --> 00:17:13,275 ♪♪ 440 00:17:13,275 --> 00:17:15,586 "P"... you can't just shut down 441 00:17:15,586 --> 00:17:17,827 because you're afraid of how the babies are going to react. 442 00:17:17,827 --> 00:17:21,000 I didn't shove him -- her -- for being trans. 443 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,068 I shoved her because she's your ex boyfriend 444 00:17:24,068 --> 00:17:25,724 and she's being a dick. 445 00:17:25,724 --> 00:17:29,034 Do you think the PC Babies will see the nuance? 446 00:17:29,034 --> 00:17:31,620 You know how they are. They're babies. 447 00:17:31,620 --> 00:17:34,482 Their minds are made up before anyone says anything. 448 00:17:34,482 --> 00:17:37,137 Then I've really got only one thing I can do. 449 00:17:37,137 --> 00:17:38,586 I have to try and make things right 450 00:17:38,586 --> 00:17:40,206 with Heather Swanson. 451 00:17:40,586 --> 00:17:43,413 Uh, hey, students. 452 00:17:43,413 --> 00:17:44,862 As you know, 453 00:17:44,862 --> 00:17:46,827 we've had some issues here at the school 454 00:17:46,827 --> 00:17:49,655 that we are working very hard to correct. 455 00:17:49,655 --> 00:17:51,310 So, today we are... 456 00:17:51,310 --> 00:17:54,793 honored to have a motivational speaker. 457 00:17:54,793 --> 00:17:56,862 She is the current Strong Woman Champion 458 00:17:56,862 --> 00:17:59,482 and also the champion in Women's MMA fighting 459 00:17:59,482 --> 00:18:01,896 and in Women's Wrestling. 460 00:18:01,896 --> 00:18:05,206 Please welcome the inspiring Heather Swanson. 461 00:18:05,206 --> 00:18:07,310 [ Up-beat music plays ] 462 00:18:07,310 --> 00:18:09,034 Yeeaah! 463 00:18:09,034 --> 00:18:11,965 Fuck yeah! 464 00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:20,482 ♪♪ 465 00:18:20,482 --> 00:18:22,724 ♪ Oh, my God♪ 466 00:18:25,655 --> 00:18:27,586 Hello, boys and girls. 467 00:18:27,586 --> 00:18:29,655 I'm here to talk to you because, apparently, 468 00:18:29,655 --> 00:18:31,965 your school leaders have failed you. 469 00:18:31,965 --> 00:18:33,827 I'm gonna tell you something, kids. 470 00:18:33,827 --> 00:18:36,344 There's only one thing that matters in this world, 471 00:18:36,344 --> 00:18:38,344 and that's being the best. 472 00:18:38,344 --> 00:18:41,206 Your Vice Principal teaches you girls to be strong, 473 00:18:41,206 --> 00:18:44,517 but she comes in second. 474 00:18:44,517 --> 00:18:48,137 You got anything to say about that, PC Principal? 475 00:18:48,137 --> 00:18:50,620 No, Ms. Swanson. 476 00:18:50,620 --> 00:18:52,724 "No, Ms. Swanson." 477 00:18:54,241 --> 00:18:56,862 You see, people don't look up to losers. 478 00:18:56,862 --> 00:18:59,689 They look up to champions. 479 00:18:59,689 --> 00:19:01,862 And every time I beat another woman, 480 00:19:01,862 --> 00:19:03,379 I feel better. 481 00:19:03,379 --> 00:19:04,862 Dude, I really like this person. 482 00:19:04,862 --> 00:19:07,068 And that's why I'm the best! 483 00:19:07,068 --> 00:19:10,034 Because Heather Swanson doesn't get beat. 484 00:19:10,034 --> 00:19:12,551 I work to be the best at everything! 485 00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:15,482 And Heather Swanson will beat any other woman 486 00:19:15,482 --> 00:19:17,827 any time, anywhere! 487 00:19:17,896 --> 00:19:20,241 Bet you can't beat Nichole at "Blood Rage." 488 00:19:20,241 --> 00:19:21,620 What?! 489 00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:24,068 Wh-What did you say, transphobe? 490 00:19:24,068 --> 00:19:26,896 Yeah, but I bet you can't beat Tammy at "War of the Ring." 491 00:19:26,896 --> 00:19:29,793 You don't disrespect a champion, little girls! 492 00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:32,931 You think Heather Swanson doesn't know board games?! 493 00:19:32,931 --> 00:19:35,137 I was playing board games before your mom 494 00:19:35,137 --> 00:19:37,275 even crapped you out of her vagina. 495 00:19:37,275 --> 00:19:38,965 Okay. So, then, let's do it, bitch. 496 00:19:38,965 --> 00:19:40,758 Oh, it's on. 497 00:19:40,758 --> 00:19:45,724 ♪♪ 498 00:19:45,724 --> 00:19:48,172 ♪ Tabletop bloodbath, nothing left to say ♪ 499 00:19:48,172 --> 00:19:50,413 ♪ Your moment is here, time to make 'em pay ♪ 500 00:19:50,413 --> 00:19:52,413 ♪ Strong Woman! ♪♪ Strong Woman ♪ 501 00:19:52,413 --> 00:19:53,896 ♪ Strong! ♪ 502 00:19:53,896 --> 00:19:55,620 ♪ Woman! ♪ 503 00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:57,931 ♪ Smoke the competition, show 'em what you got ♪ 504 00:19:57,931 --> 00:19:59,965 ♪ All your painted miniatures are really paying off ♪ 505 00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:02,103 ♪ Strong Woman! ♪♪ Strong Woman ♪ 506 00:20:02,103 --> 00:20:04,068 ♪ Strong! ♪ 507 00:20:04,068 --> 00:20:05,206 ♪ Woman! ♪ 508 00:20:05,206 --> 00:20:07,586 ♪ Hey, wow ♪ 509 00:20:07,586 --> 00:20:09,724 ♪ Who's the Strong Woman now? ♪ 510 00:20:09,724 --> 00:20:12,310 ♪ And hey, you ♪ 511 00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:14,655 ♪ Thought you were the best, but you're about to lose ♪ 512 00:20:14,655 --> 00:20:16,896 ♪ To the Board Girls, they got the moves ♪ 513 00:20:16,896 --> 00:20:18,448 ♪ They pummeled you at "Alchemists" ♪ 514 00:20:18,448 --> 00:20:19,931 ♪ And kicked your ass in "Carcosonne" ♪ 515 00:20:19,931 --> 00:20:21,965 ♪ Board Girls, they know all the rules ♪ 516 00:20:21,965 --> 00:20:24,620 ♪ They watch Rodney Smith, Tom Vasel, and Becca Scott ♪ 517 00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:26,586 ♪ Hey, cool ♪ 518 00:20:26,586 --> 00:20:29,034 ♪ They made you look a fool ♪ 519 00:20:29,034 --> 00:20:31,655 ♪ And hey, sweet ♪ 520 00:20:31,655 --> 00:20:34,034 ♪ Take a step down, you just got beat ♪ 521 00:20:34,034 --> 00:20:35,758 ♪ By the Board Girls ♪ 522 00:20:35,758 --> 00:20:38,137 [ All cheering ]♪ Strong! ♪ 523 00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,620 ♪ Strong Woman, Strong Woman! ♪HEATHER: You think that's fair?! 524 00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:42,551 You only won because you dumb girls 525 00:20:42,551 --> 00:20:44,413 memorize the rule books! 526 00:20:44,413 --> 00:20:48,000 When I play games, I just wanna be a pirate or a spaceman. 527 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,103 That's right! You and your stupid rules! 528 00:20:51,103 --> 00:20:54,931 I may identify as a woman now, but I grew up a boy 529 00:20:54,931 --> 00:20:57,206 and so you have an unfair advantage over me! 530 00:20:57,206 --> 00:20:59,620 Yeah, an unfair advantage, you stupid girls! 531 00:20:59,620 --> 00:21:03,172 Come on, Ms. Swanson. We can go make our own club! 532 00:21:04,344 --> 00:21:06,655 [ Cheering resumes ] 533 00:21:09,482 --> 00:21:11,551 You sure you're ready for this? 534 00:21:11,551 --> 00:21:14,000 I just want to get it over with. 535 00:21:14,758 --> 00:21:15,931 -Mommy! -Momma! 536 00:21:15,931 --> 00:21:17,344 -Mommy! -Yay, Mommmy! 537 00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:20,034 Yes, kids. And look who else is here. 538 00:21:21,758 --> 00:21:22,931 -Daddy! -Daddy! 539 00:21:22,931 --> 00:21:24,758 -Yeah, Daddy! -Dada! 540 00:21:24,758 --> 00:21:26,689 Dada. I wove you. 541 00:21:26,689 --> 00:21:29,000 I -- I don't understand. 542 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,620 They don't care. 543 00:21:30,620 --> 00:21:32,275 They must see the nuance 544 00:21:32,275 --> 00:21:34,482 to this whole situation.You're right! 545 00:21:34,482 --> 00:21:37,000 They realize that raising a gender-based issue of strength 546 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,034 doesn't necessarily make one a bigot or a bully. 547 00:21:39,034 --> 00:21:40,344 All this time, we were worried 548 00:21:40,344 --> 00:21:41,827 what the PC Babies would think. 549 00:21:41,827 --> 00:21:43,517 And we didn't realize 550 00:21:43,517 --> 00:21:46,206 that our little babies are growing up. 551 00:21:46,206 --> 00:21:48,862 [ Laughter ] 552 00:21:48,862 --> 00:21:53,862 ♪♪ 553 00:21:56,000 --> 00:22:05,586 ♪♪ 554 00:22:05,586 --> 00:22:15,275 ♪♪ 555 00:22:15,275 --> 00:22:24,862 ♪♪ 41298

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