Original subtitles

And now, here they are,

the most daredevil group of dacky drivers

who ever whirl their wheels in the wacky races.

Competing for the title of the world's wackiest racer.

The cars are approaching the starting line.

First is the Turbo Terrific, driven by Peter Perfect.

Next is Rufus Ruffcut and Sawtooth in the buzz wagon.

Maneuvering for position is the Army Surplus Special.

Right behind is the Anthill Mob in their Bulletproof bomb.

And there's ingenious inventor, Pat Pendig in his converter car.

Oh, and here's the lovely Penelope Pitstop,

the glamour gal of the gas pedal.

Next, we have the bouldermobile with the Slag Brothers, Rock and Gravel.

Lurching along is the Creepy Coupe with the Gruesome Twosome.

And right on their tail is the Red Max.

And there's the Arkansas Chuggabug with Luke and Blubber Bear.

Sneaking along last is that mean machine with those

double-dealing do-batters, Dick Dasterly and his sidekick, Muttley.

And even now, they're up to some dirty trick,

and they're off to a standing start.

And why not? They've been chained to a post by shifty Dick Dasterly.

Who shifts into the wrong gear.

And away they go!

On the Way Out Wacky Races!

Roaring across the river,

the Wacky Racers are off on another wacky lap of today's race.

This time heading for Carasi Creek, Kentucky.

But wait a minute. It looks like one of the racers is sneaking by underwater.

Oh, that can only be... it is...

Sneaky Dick Dastardly and Muttley the Menace.

Oh, what's Dastardly up to now?

I eliminate this route with my roto-route router.

Look out! Oh, well. No route is problem to Professor Pat Pending.

He takes the water like a duck.

While the Slag Brothers take the water like a rock.

And sink like a lead balloon.

Well, it looks like the Slack Brothers are back in the race.

Or I should say, all the way back.

Uh-oh, sounds like somebody's getting their lumps.

Four it to be exact.

And now it's the Anthill Mob, moving up in the Wacky Race.

All right, you guys. All together.

Stroke. Stroke.

Stroke.

And here comes Penelope Pitstop.

Oh, dear. And I didn't bring my shower cab.

Will you, gentlemen, be so kind as to

help a little old damsel in distress?

- Oh, certainly. - Yes, indeed.

Get going!

My, how sweet of y'all.

And the way the race goes on.

Whoops! Except for number four. Too bad.

Red Max has just dropped into last place.

Anyone for a drag race with a real dragon?

Meanwhile, Dick Dastardly, the villain, is building up a tremendous lead.

Hey, you! Get that egg crate out of the way!

What did you say?

I said you were real great, and I meant it.

Oh, no.

Curses. Now the other cars will catch up to us.

What have we here?

King Klong, largest gorilla in captivity.

Boy, does that start the old wheels to turning in my evil mind.

With my power over dumb animals,

I'll hypnotize this gorilla and have him delay the other racers.

Not you, Muttley! The gorilla! The gorilla!

Now, go open that door and let the gorilla out.

- Who? Me? - Yes, you!

Stop chattering, or the driver will hear you.

N-n-n-nice gorilla, watch the watch.

See it swing back and forth,

back and forth, back and forth.

You are in my power,

I hope. You will do as I say.

Please, you will go back there and stop any car that comes this way.

What are you laughing at?

Meanwhile, number one, the Slang Brothers

in their rolling stone, are letting no moss grow under them.

And here comes the Creepy Coop creeping up.

And Creepy Coop goes into stick shell.

And it's Penelope Pit Stop in number five,

showing them which way to go.

But number two has a witch way of their own, the witches' X-way.

A hex on you, Lily. A hex on you.

Looks like the hex It's on you, ma'm.

- Your hair is a suck. - Ain't it the truth?

But since I washed it, I can't do a thing with it.

Now try some of this. It does wonders for my hair.

Now, isn't that much nicer? Where did she go?

And with my last can my hairspray too.

Oh, my!

Shoo, shoo! Go away!

Wait! I declare!

Don't worry, Penelope! I'm coming! I'll protect you!

Unhand that girl, you monster!

Don't hurt the little old gorilla, Peter!

I'm a karate expert, you know!

What's that, Sarge? A hairy mountain?

That looks like a gigantic gorila.

Drop that girl.

Down, periscope!

Stand by the fire!

Don't hurt the little old gorilla!

Be a nice gorilla and put me down.

The Great Red Max will bring down that big blimp.

Adieu!

Here we go!

And now, Penelope Pitstop is making fast time as she gains on the leaders,

but not fast enough.

Oh, it's you again. Dear me, you look suck.

You could be attractive with just a little makeup.

First, a powder base.

Then some lipstick.

a little mascara, and a wig to top it all.

Now, is that better?

And so, with sweet and innocent Penelope back in the race,

and the rest of the field that far behind,

we have a contest for third place going on,

between car number one and car number eight.

Now car number one is beating by a couple

of feet and looking for an opening ahead.

He's found it.

But here comes number 10, the Buzz Wagon,

trying to trick the Slack Brother's lead.

Meanwhile, villain Dick Dastardly has fill up a tremendous lead,

and he lookslike a cinch to win.

And just to be sure there'll be a few slip-ups,

I'll slicka them with my oil slick.

200 yards to go and victory is mine.

Oh no, it's the galloping gorilla again.

And here come the rest of the cars down to the finish.

And the winner is car number six, the Army Surplus Special.

Car number four, the Crimson Haybailer is second,

and car number ten, the Buzz Wagon is third.

Yes, master, watch the swinging watch.

Back and forth, back and forth.

Yes, master, I'm in your power.

Subtitles: Kilo