Original subtitles

And now, here they are,

the most daredevil group of dacky drivers

who ever whirl their wheels in the wacky races.

Competing for the title of the world's wackiest racer.

The cars are approaching the starting line.

First is the Turbo Terrific, driven by Peter Perfect.

Next is Rufus Ruffcut and Sawtooth in the buzz wagon.

Maneuvering for position is the Army Surplus Special.

Right behind is the Anthill Mob in their Bulletproof bomb.

And there's ingenious inventor, Pat Pendig in his converter car.

Oh, and here's the lovely Penelope Pitstop,

the glamour gal of the gas pedal.

Next, we have the bouldermobile with the Slag Brothers, Rock and Gravel.

Lurching along is the Creepy Coupe with the Gruesome Twosome.

And right on their tail is the Red Mack.

And there's the Arkansas Chuggabug with Luke and Blubber Bear.

Sneaking along last is that mean machine with those

double-dealing do-batters, Dick Dasterly and his sidekick, Muttley.

And even now, they're up to some dirty trick,

and they're off to a standing start.

And why not? They've been chained to a post by shifty Dick Dasterly.

Who shifts into the wrong gear.

And away they go!

On the Way Out Wacky Races!

As we join the Wacky Racers, they are wending their wacky way up the

precipitous peaks of Tiker's Peak toward

today's finish line in Mishmash, Missouri.

In the lead is car number one,

the Slag Brothers, followed by Penelope Pitstop.

Number two, the Creepy Coop.

Look out. Whoops! The Creepy Coop flew the Coop right out of the race.

Now the Creepy Coop has flown right back into the wacky race again.

Here's the Anthill Mob, and Peter Perfect is out to pass it.

Ohh Really way out.

And Professor Pat Pending finds himself way up in the air in that beautiful balloon.

As Rufus Ruffcutt roars around the ridge,

and here comes Red Max.

Uh-oh, the old hay baler ain't what she used to be.

Max will have to bail out.

Five, six, seven, eight, nine.

Ten!

Last and least desirable, the double zeros, Dick Dastardly and Muttley.

A late start, Dastardly?

Yeah. Last night, I had Muttley here let the air out of the tires.

And guess whose tires got it?

Cut that out!

And cut that out! Here, do something right for a change.

Give 'em the old phony fire engine bits.

Where I come from, we call that a low-down Yankee carpetbagger trick.

He gets 'em every time.

Hmm? Which way do we go?

Let me have a look at that map.

We're supposed to take the left road,

but if we cheat and take the right road, we'll get there sooner.

So we won't take the left road,

which is the right road, we'll take the right road,

which is the wrong road, right?

- Come left go! - Did you say left, Sarge?

Right!

- Oh, right! - No!

Meekly!

Meekly, come back here!

Meanwhile, on the wrong road, the Arkansas Chuggabot barrels along.

What in tarnation is going on around here?

Oh, I get it. Which way do we go?

Relax. They don't call me Hound Dog Luke for nothing.

They went that way.

Meanwhile, back on the right road, it's the Slack Brothers with a slight beam.

But here comes the lovely Penelope Pitstop to challenge them.

While the Slack Brothers settle their little difference,

Penelope takes over first place, followed by the Ant Hill Mob.

I do declare, this wind doesn't help my little old complexion.

I think I'll have me a little old mudpack fashion.

Oh my, that is so soothing.

A little more beauty mud, please.

Not that much, silly. Now I have to take a little old bubble bath.

La la la la la la la

la La la la la la la la

Uh oh, something's gone wrong with Peter Perfect's car.

Peter Perfect is moving up and zooms into first place.

Well, while Peter Perfect checks his roadmaps again,

stay tuned for more of the Wacky Racers.

While the rest of the wacky racers are racing along the right road,

Dick Dastardly has taken a sneaky side road.

Muttley, we've got this race in the bag.

Who says only good guys win?

Not now, Muttley. Stop bothering me.

Can't you see I'm driving?

Oh, no. Don't tell me that someone else took the sneaky road, too.

What is the matter with you?

Why didn't you tell me?

OK, OK. What a grouch.

Wow, what a keen booby trap.

Wish I'd thought of it.

You're trespassing on Elmer McCloud territory, stranger.

Stranger? I'm no stranger.

Well, you sure ain't no Kinfolk of mine.

I am so.

Don't you notice the family resemblance, cousin?

I've come to warn you, cousin.

There's some strangers coming up the trail right behind me.

You mean there was some strangers?

That takes care of those characters.

Well, don't just sit there, Muttley.

Start putting the car back together.

The side bolt connected to the front bolt.

The front bolt connected to the back bolt.

The back bolt connected to the neck bolt.

As we pick up the wacky racers on our radar scope, we see...

What's going on here?

It looks like one of our wacky racers has gone wacky.

Oh, it's only a wacky fly.

But speaking of Wacky Racers,

here's the Creepy Coop with Jet Assist Dragon Breath out in front.

Professor Pat Pending is sailing along with the breeze,

but here comes Red Max, leaping for the lead.

Ohh What a performance! And the Creepy Coop gives him a big hand.

The Creepy Coop still clings to its lead

in the wacky race, but the wacky

professor, Pat Pending, comes up with another wacky invention.

The convertible turtle top.

And away he goes.

Are we still lost, Private Meekly?

Don't you know we got a race to win?

I'll ask that sailor up ahead where we are, Sarge.

Uh, fix those ding-busted strangers.

Well, that took care of one of them.

Faster, Muttley.

Pesky strangers. Oh!

Here's some more.

Well, I swarned.

Howdy, Cousin Elmer. Long time no see.

Well, bust my suspenders. If it ain't Cousin Luke.

Howdy, cousin Toby.

And this must be Cousin Fudd.

- Howdy. - That ain't Cousin Fudd, Elmer.

- That's a bear. - Well, he's short up to like Cousin Fudd.

And there's another cousin up the road a piece.

Get in, Muttley. We've got to get out of here

before that dumb hillbilly gets wise.

That low-down cheatin' varmint ain't no kin of ours.

Uh-oh. Let's go.

Hey, blasted, doggone horn,

no good city slicker!

And so, as the cars roar into the final mile

of the race, car number seven,

the anthill mob, is first, but the slag

brothers are moving into the lead.

Okay, Raggatang, give him the old run-a-tot.

Sure thing, boss.

And now it's car number seven in the lead,

but here comes Peter Perfect in car number nine.

And he rockets into the lead and heads for the finish line like a common.

But wait, what's that?Ah, there's a little kitten wandering onto the track.

Peter hits his brakes, and it's a tough brake for Peter Perfect

as Professor Pat Pending in car number three finishes first.

Penelope Pitstop is second,

the Creepy Coop is third.

Nice kitty.

And speaking of kitties, ohh look what

the cat dragged in last. Deroopy Dick Dastardly.

Oh, drat!

Subtitles: Kilo