Original subtitles

And now, here they are,

the most daredevil group of dacky drivers

who ever whirl their wheels in the wacky races.

Competing for the title of the world's wackiest racer.

The cars are approaching the starting line.

First is the Turbo Terrific, driven by Peter Perfect.

Next is Rufus Ruffcut and Sawtooth in the buzz wagon.

Maneuvering for position is the Army Surplus Special.

Right behind is the anthill mob in their bulletproof bomb.

And there's ingenious inventor, Pat Pendig in his converter car.

Oh, and here's the lovely Penelope Pitstop,

the glamour gal of the gas pedal.

Next, we have the bouldermobile with the Slag Brothers, Rock and Gravel.

Lurching along is the creepy coupe with the gruesome Susan.

And right on their tail is the Red Mack.

And there's the Arkansas Chuggabug with Luke and Blubber Bear.

Sneaking along last is that mean machine with those

double-dealing do-batters, Dick Dasterly and his sidekick, Muttley.

And even now, they're up to some dirty trick,

and they're off to a standing start.

And why not? They've been chained to a post by shifty Dick Dasterly.

Who shifts into the wrong gear.

And away they go!

On the Way Out Wacky Races!

As the wacky racers roar across the desert,

dashing toward Handsprings,

Wyoming, the drivers are desperately

trying to pass one another.

Peter Perfect is tailgating Gravel, one of the slag brothers.

Whoops! Sorry, Slag!

Ohh What strategy? By lightening the load,

the Slags have bounced into a solid lead.

But wait, what's this?

Those double villains in Car Double Zero,

Dick Dastardly and Muttley, have somehow gone into the lead.

That sneaky shortcut put us way out in front, right, Muttley?

Now, to make sure those other jalopies can catch us.

Hurry up, Muttley. Faster. Faster with those sticks.

Can't you do anything right?

Hurry up, dum-dum!

Okay, okay, okay, down boy. Nice doggy.

I was only fooling, pal.

Now, here's my plan to stop him.

This fast-burning fuse leads to my mighty mean missile,

which is aimed at the road.

It'll make the grandest canyon they ever saw,

right, Muttley?

You light the fuse when I say now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Oh, no! Not that now, now Gangway!

The Wacky Racers have arrived at the very

edge of Dastardly's destructive depression.

Oh, fortunately for all,

inventor Pat Pending got there first.

I'll just use my old do-it-yourself canyon-crosser.

And now, all the racers roll across rapidly.

All but, uh, where's number one, the bouldermobile?

It better hurry. Here it comes.

Meanwhile, as Dick Dastardly darts across the desert,

a pair of piercing eyes track his trail of dust.

Hug! Iron wagon come, bring 'em smog where Deer and Antelope play.

Bright traffic cop in skies say, Stop 'em, wagon!

Rat! I only slow them down.

I'll just have to be more dastardly. Huh?

What's that sign up ahead?

"Warning! Paleface keep out where Deer and Antelope play"

"And the skies are not cloudy all day. "

"Signed, Chief Crazy Buffalo."

That fellow could help me put the Indian sign on the other car.

As Dastardly designs his devious dirty deed,

our radar scope shows the other racers are well bunched.

Then they peel off once more.

Number six, Army Surplus Special has the lead,

using bazooka power.

And right behind them is number two with the gruesome twosome.

Oh, it's a flat tire. But here comes the instant repair kit.

Oh, pretty snakey.

A number five with Penelope Pit Stop is about to pass them.

Ohh!

And now the car's moved on a narrow canyon with number six in front.

Number two is second, and unable to pass is number three.

But driver Pat Pending is always in Bending.

How about that bit? He's changed into a giant drill.

He passes number five.

Seven. Nine.

And four, leaving them far behind.

Oh, nothing can stop him now.

Well, almost nothing.

Rat! They're getting too close I've got to find

that Indian and join forces for an all-out attack.

As Dastardly drives on, we take a quick look up ahead.

Huh, me put 'em up. Wire stop signal across highway.

Who's nutty enough to do a thing like that?

Me, Chief Crazy Buffalo.

Any questions?

Pierre. How you been, crazed baby? I've been looking for you.

I come to warn you,

many iron wagons come.

Uh oh. He putting me on with forked tongue.

- Knife and spoon even. - Anastinjen, here they come.

Huh? Regular locust plague of iron wagons.

You try and stop 'em.

Me go for help.

Iron Chicken, leave. Huh? Me stop 'em this bunch myself.

Stop 'em! This Crazy Buffalo country!

Me need 'em hospital plan.

Halfway to Handsprings, Rufus Ruffcut in

car number 10 hacks his way ahead.

But it's number seven, the anthill mob cutting in front of number 10.

Now it's ten cutting in front of seven.

Seven cuts in front of ten.

Now ten cuts through seven.

All right, you mugs. Make with the repairs.

Right, boss.

And here, once again, it's double zero.

The dreadful duo putting Operation Low Down Dirty Trick to work.

All right, all right. Get a move on.

Step on it.

Faster, faster. Move it, move it.

Come on, come on, can't you hear?

I said faster. All right, on the double.

On the-- Oh, no you don't.

I'm not going to do it.

You can stay there all day, and that's final.

Ohh! All right, but just this once!

Get the track!

Here they come!

I can't lose. These clowns will wait here all day for a train to pass.

Where did that train come from?

Now, what? What is this?

A creepy-teepy?

Huh? You run out on crazy buffalo.

Me give 'em you big hot foot.

Oh, come on, Craze Baby. Listen to reason.

Too many iron wagons. Me had better hot foot out of here.

Come on, Muttley.

I've got a race to win.

Pat Pending is trying to pass the gruesome twosome.

But they turn on dragon power.

Making it a pretty hot race.

I'll cool him off.

Uh oh, he put the freeze on too.

But what's this?

Now it's number eight, roaring in the first with barefoot bear power.

Hold on, the racers have run into a treacherous fog bank.

And it's every car for himself.

Number one, the slags try to slug their way out.

Number nine and number five are still in the race.

Thank y'all, Peter, honey.

You're welcome, my dear.

It's number 10, rough cut, up for a look.

And number eight, the chuggabug sounds the fog horn.

And here at the fog-covered finish line,

it's anybody's race.

And through the use of our infrared camera, the winners

were photographed the instant they crossed the finish line.

And the wacky race winner is number two, the gruesome twosome

who slid in to put the race on ice.

Number one was second, and number eight third.

And coming up fast to finish last is that villain, Dick Dastardly.

Drat! Last again.

Subtitles: Kilo