Original subtitles

This is captain true love reporting the results of the romantic love mission The

events about to unfold before your eyes are not a dream nor an illusion

Our planet was becoming square During our monitoring

of Earth we heard that love makes the world go round

If we could harness the power of this huge energy system, we would be back in

orbit.

Behold, our three love conductors, programmed using the electronic fallout

Earth's obsession with romantic love.

Body work, out of this world.

Time allocated for mission, 48 hours.

there was one immortal danger facing our legion of officers.

The earth virus.

Loneliness.

A lot of people are very afraid of intense romantic love because it has a

blowing apart structures.

There's also something demonic about that kind of passion. There's a

compulsiveness in it.

We fear anything compulsive because it means going out of control.

Having been a blonde myself, I can't be too sure what the real appeal is if you

turn into one. But I was always told the blonde was the mentality more than an

actual hair color. It is amusing, isn't it, that when you think that Lisa Luce,

who wrote Gentlemen for Blondes, the book that revolutionized women's sudden

rediscovery of the fun that hair can be for them, and, of course, the use of

peroxide, she then did, like every successful author, she wrote a sequel

called it Gentlemen Married Brunettes, which was not a big success.

for the simple reason that she told the truth, which meant that the fun was

gone. Behind every blonde, there was, of course, really a brunette.

And that's the way life goes. You can't trust anything, but at least if you meet

a blonde, enjoy it while it's there. That's how I feel.

We arrange for the agent headquarters to be located in a place that manifests

with strong signals.

The investigation began immediately.

home to desire.

Oh.

Hello.

I'm Peter.

I live next door.

And I was just coming around here to ask you if you had some sugar I could

borrow. Sugar?

Well,

I don't really want any sugar. I was just popping around because I was

little bit

Lonely. Lonely? Lonely. The antidote to loneliness must be sugar.

Oh, what's on the computer?

It's programming the formula for romantic love.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

No, unfortunately, that's totally impossible. You see, because romantic

is... Well, it's indefinable and spontaneous.

Are you romantic?

Well, actually, I prefer to see myself as a bit of a Casanova, really, the

ultimate in a commitment phobe. See, men are much more restricted in their

emotional vocabulary.

Men in our culture aren't given much room to express, well, warmth, love and

tenderness.

It's widely recognised that contemporary men and women are looking for rather

different things in a relationship.

The fact that it's mainly women in the home means that they concentrate in a

very exclusive way on their children.

But not only that, if you accept Freudian theory, that women are getting

sort of deeper satisfaction from the boy child simply because he completes her

own sense of lack.

So that what happens... as the child grows up, is that for the boy child it

becomes an urgent matter of trying to escape from being the subconscious point

of satisfaction to the mother, whereas for the girl child it becomes the task

trying to be that person who could satisfy someone.

Yes, well, possibly, perhaps, yes. But, you see, I tend to blame post

-industrial capitalism with its restriction of roles and emotional

possibilities. Well, of course, you know, well, if you would like a Marxist

analysis... But we've only got 48 hours.

Where should we go to find romance?

Go and buy a novel.

I think if you want to find love in 48 hours, the best place is Waitrose.

To find love in 48 hours, you need a beeper, a mobile, or you just bump into

This is the romantic type as a holiness being.

That sucks you dry until you're exhausted or not trying to reach

him.

the impact of a first encounter.

A bell rings.

Something beckons far beyond words.

Eyes are often the magnet for attraction.

There is a charge of need which eventually sparks across to make contact

another person.

The chosen individual who carries what we most fear or desire becomes essential

to our wholeness.

Oh, no.

Not another chick calling for me.

Love is something you can't control.

It completely takes you over, and it's a marvelous escape from reality.

Perfect love is something I've been looking for for quite a while. I haven't

quite found it yet.

No, it's, um, it's only me. It's, uh, Peter.

Falling in love again.

Never wanted to.

What am I to do?

I can't tell. Oh, Peter.

Phew, that means a bum. Bye, Jupiter.

Oh, um, seeing stars.

Fancy battery.

Oh. Ah. I want to know all about you. Shall we stay in or shall we go out, you

sugar daddy?

You wouldn't believe it, but love is actually a mild form of psychosis.

In fact, when you overestimate the attractions of the person of the

sex, you're being taken over by all sorts of infantile feelings, and

what you're seeing is probably either your mother or your father's face

reflected in the eyes of your beloved. I hope you understand that.

Your eyes are like marshmallows.

Your lips are like chipolata sausages, and your skin is like mashed potatoes.

I thought you were ravenous. Oh, you're a fruit cake.

You're so tarnished to yourself.

Men often experience love as conflict.

Oh, well.

To attract love, it's clothes which really start it off.

So, you've got to look good, get them interested, and then you take it from

there.

Dressed to find love, you must feel love, and you must be loved, and you

loved. Hello?

It's him.

Station in half an hour.

I'll be there.

this boat where we can hide and seek the truth.

I love you

has

no usages.

Like a child's word it enters society.

It can be sublime, fallen, Trivial. It can be erotic, pornographic, socially

irresponsible.

I love you.

Every other night on TV, someone said, I love you.

Hey,

you. Should a girl make love on her first date?

Well, that depends.

Depends on the state of your day.

Also depends on which of your vital organs you're following, whether it be

brain, your heart, or your dick.

If you ask your dick, your dick's always going to say yes. I prefer to follow my

heart because in the heart lies a crazy notion of romance and the chase.

And in my experience, the chase has come to mean much more than the conquest.

How long you girls got in town anyway?

We've only got 40 hours.

Ah. In that case, the answer is definitely yes.

we've done it he said check you later i've been in love on numerous occasions

and they were all horrible love all i've got to say about it is don't believe

it it's quite simple if he makes a commitment

we can generate love and save the planet with love

anything is possible

What's the special about love?

It's magic, isn't it? Love is magical.

That's the thing. That's all I can say.

Tell her I love her.

This is what comes out of true love.

Little girl called Nell.

Romantic love, it makes me run upstairs and run downstairs.

I don't wait for lips.

I think there are times when it's absolutely necessary for a person...

freedom and development and in a way I feel sorry for people who've never

experienced it.

I think it's one of the great gifts of life, even if it gets you in awful

trouble.

Cruelty, dear, isn't nervous.

Don't you love me anymore?

Stop throbbing and get it, the trunk, inside now, doll baby. All right.

And why are you twitching like that?

Why don't you relax?

Just get off my back. My back hurts, too. That trunk was so heavy.

I know you always hurt the one you love, but... Oh, leave that out. Oh, all

right.

I don't know if we can still make love with my back hurting like this.

I've only got a couple of minutes.

You see, I'm an ex -trustee investigator.

Try up and move over. This is my friend Dorothy, and I want to sit next to her.

All right, shift it.

What magazine do you

read? Many men have been brought up to think there's the body and then there's

feelings. In other words, there are good girls and bad girls. There's a double

standard. So bad girls are fun to have sex with, the good girls are the ones

you're supposed to marry.

And you'd be amazed how those statistics still come out when men are interviewed

in various polls, including mine.

It was about this time that we lost contact with our love conductors.

We can only presume that they have succumbed to the earth virus,

However, we do occasionally receive faint signals from Earth, indicating

our officers are still operating, perhaps having invaded the body of an

Earthling who goes by the name of Dorothy.

This is Captain True Love, signing off.

48 hours.

Remember, 48 hours.

This is

Captain Shula, signing off.

48 hours.

Remember, 48 hours.

This

is Captain Sula,

signing off.

48 hour.

Remember, 48 hour.