Original subtitles

Slap my fuckhole with your flush rod.

Yeah, that always gives me a boner. Let's fuck.

Oh.

Oh, God.

Honey, that's what you're freaking out. What's the matter, darling?

I've just got it coming at me from all sides right now.

And that punk -ass kid of yours, no help at all.

He probably had my off -line bad.

Oh, I'm sorry, baby. Do you want a back rub?

Yeah, okay.

Oh, wrong.

Do you want to close out?

Oh, yeah.

I don't care.

oh

as everybody.

We're on charity run.

Charity run? I didn't know we had any gun shipments today.

Jax, are you dealing behind my back?

Easy there, old man.

We're on an actual charity run, you know, for charity.

We thought we'd give a little bit back to the community.

What community?

Kitten.

It's for kittens.

More help with kittens?

Kittens? Kittens?

We do not have time for this nonsense.

The chief of police is getting complaints about the porno studio from

preschool next door.

Tig got taken in for questioning. I've got the ATF breathing down my neck.

I've got the Nazis breathing down the other side of my neck about us selling

guns to the blacks.

Yes, the blacks.

Okay?

There is just way too much neck breathing going on right now. My neck is

way too fucking breathy.

Hey, Mom.

Hey, your stepfather is totally overwhelmed.

All right? You're going to have to get off your ass and start picking up some

those flasks if you ever want to become president of Sampro.

Damn it, man. That old man has always been here.

What do you want me to do?

Just head on over to the porno studio and see if you can smooth things out

there. And don't be sampling the merchandise.

Fine.

I'm going to sample most of it.

Hey, babe.

Yeah, I'm at the clubhouse.

Something horrible's happened.

Oh, my God. Are you okay?

Are you shot?

I need medical attention.

All right, babe. I'm sorry.

Where did they get you?

Hey, baby. I didn't get shot. It's my leg.

What happened to your leg?

I don't know. You're the doctor. I mean, I think I pulled a hammy.

Are you serious? You had me come all the way down here for a sports injury?

I have left a three -year -old choking on a tonka truck in the waiting room.

This is serious, babe. I mean, what if it don't heal back right?

What if I can't fuck anymore?

I'm horny all the time.

I mean, I'm so horny I want to fuck you right now, even though I'm in pain.

Maybe just a quick knee.

I don't know.

um

Oh yeah, fuck you Jimmy.

Like that. Oh fuck yeah.

Oh.

Ah.

We know that Sam Crow is running guns.

The only question for you is if you're going to go down with the rest of the

losers, or are you going to wear wires and cut a deal?

Look,

okay, I ain't going to betray my brothers.

All right?

Would never.

Not to mention, you got nothing on us. You know it.

Well, I may not have anything on your gang for the guns.

Yet.

But you have a rap sheet longer than my creepy Uncle Willie's stick.

Seventeen states.

Quite impressive.

Here.

Montana. For drunk and disorderly and public indecency.

You...

Masturbated on the mascot of a high school football game.

Cute.

Utah. Also drunk and disorderly and public indecency.

You urinated on the salad bar at a Shanky's.

Wait, this is my personal favorite.

Colorado. False and indecency.

You beat up a mall Santa and then...

Masturated on him.

Shall I continue?

Look, I was just trying to have some fun, okay? Everybody's so uptight.

Fine. I'll wear the goddamn wire.

I'll wear the goddamn wire. Won't count for one condition.

Oh, you're in no mood to negotiate.

That's all right.

What do you want?

Well, I ain't never had me no ATF pussy before.

Fine.

But I'm not getting my suit dirty.

I'm touching you.

It's warm.

I see.

Look.

I said I wasn't going to get my suit dirty.

I'm sorry.

I'm okay.

I'm okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You know I've always had your back, with the permit office, the zoning board,

the lube distributor, the county health board, anything to keep this pussy

factory churning.

But you gotta be aware of your neighbors.

I can't hold off the complaints much longer.

Chief? Jax.

Horace?

What seems to be the problem?

Jax, it's the noise complaints.

All day long.

lap that fuckhole with my flesh rod, pound my poop chute with your guy meat,

cram your man muscle in my shit locker.

The kids at the Catholic school are getting quite the education, and the

are about ready to riot.

But don't worry about it, Chief.

Look, I'll take care of this.

Lila, can I talk to you in private?

Well, Sunshine, I know you're new in town.

I'm trying to help you out.

But you gotta tone it down a bit.

Sit more ladylike.

Things will just be a lot easier.

Whatever. I do what I want.

No one tells me how to sit, and no one tells me how to fuck.

Well, that is a nice vagina, but... You wanna fuck?

I have a lunch break and... $300.

I'm the chief of police. You want me to pay $300 to fuck you?

Okay, $150.

Do you realize I could haul you in for prostitution?

Do you realize the severity of that?

If you want severity, it's going to cost you $50 extra.

Yeah. Yeah. Where's my finger?

Take care.

Open.

Oh, there you go.

You're Christy's son?

Huh? Is this for me?

Yeah, fuck it. Yeah, you should...

Open. Open.

That's it.

Turn around.

Turn around. Turn around.

Try a little closer.

Oh!

Yeah, or set as that. Yes.

Let me hear you.

Yeah, give me your ass.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Brandon. It's that new girl. She's a fucking screamer. Every time I tell her

keep it down, she says, whatever, I do what I want.

What is it that she says, you know, the thing the chief mentioned?

Slap my fuckhole with your flush rod?

Yeah, that's it. Say it again.

Slap my fuckhole with your flush rod.

Wow, yeah. I love that. It always gives me a boner. Let's fuck.

Oh, what about Opie?

Who's Opie? My boyfriend. He's your friend in the club with you.

Oh, yeah.

Opie. Yeah, don't worry about that. He's not in this movie.

We couldn't find anybody that's got a beard like that in porn.

Oh my God.

Oh yeah.

What's up baby?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Come on.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, you have to... I'm going to slap this little pussy.

Oh, my God, baby.

Is this okay?

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.