Original subtitles

Dinner!

This is Agent Smiley in the containment center. I need to report a mistake.

Wait,

Nia. We have to get out of here.

Not so fast, Evan.

Yes, again, evil villain.

Nia, wait.

It's me, Evan.

It's official. That was the worst movie I've ever seen.

Guess that's why they call it Mission Improbable.

More like Mission Chow Right Never in a Million Years.

On account of knees, hair would be way messed up from that bulky mask.

Why can't someone make a decent spy flick for once?

My sentiments exactly.

Which is why I need to see you ladies right away.

Since right now, girls, I have exciting news. My dream of becoming a

professional thespian is finally coming true.

Professional thespian?

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about this.

Let's all walk around the garden.

Let's take a trip downstream.

Let's have a stroll to the beach, my friend. We'll eat strawberries and

Whoa, purple tights. Now that's what I call a tragedy.

It's a comedy, actually. Pipster, I was the lead.

Ever since college, when I minored in musical theater, I wanted to be an

and now I can.

Okram Ariyemal, a major Hollywood director, has tapped me to star in his

big -budget spy flick, 0067.

You? Indeed, me. Who better to play a spy than a real spy?

Uh, I don't know. Maybe an actor?

Come on! Like Rad Sid or that hunky dude Shaw.

The reason spy flicks are so unrealistic is because actors don't know how to

portray spies.

Whoa, wait a minute. Are you saying this director knows your secret identity?

Oh, don't be so naive, Sam.

These Hollywood types know everything.

It's called being in the know.

But you're not the type who becomes a star. I am. I mean, no offense, but

you a little past your prime?

Joke all you want, girls. But the fact of the matter is, yours truly is headed

for the silver screen.

This is crazy.

How are you going to run a spy agency while you're off shooting a movie?

I'm not. You three are.

I'm turning the day -to -day operations of Whoop over to you while I'm on set.

After all, you're super spies now. You can handle it.

No, we can't. Not with schoolwork and boys and shopping and boys and... It's

only for a few weeks while I'm in Hollywood, until my film wraps.

Then I'll be back and in charge.

Just stick to this agenda and you'll do fine.

Agenda?

Guess I must be early.

Yeah, baby, you made it.

Ah, Mr. Riemel, so good to see you.

Oh, please, call me Okram.

Will do, Okram.

Am I the first one here? Perhaps I should take the time to go over the

Script? No, no, no, no, no. This is cinema verite.

It's done fast and on the fly.

Oh, of course, verite.

How cutting edge.

So here's a little prop I cooked up. It's got a liquid trampoline, rubber

dissolver, laser glass cutter, and most importantly, 0067's signature weapon,

the freeze ray.

I'll pretend, of course.

Amazing. It looks almost real.

That's the magic of Hollywood, Jer. Now, the evil villain Lorenzo will soon pull

out of his estate in his car. His plan, to rob the museum of the Taylor Diamond,

depriving the world of its beauty.

Fiend.

Exactamundo. It's 0067's duty to stop him like a real spy would.

Using his fake gadgets, that is. This is terribly exciting.

I can't wait to get started.

Good, because here we go.

Not I. Tis you who is the maniac.

Hey!

You hear from my

lawyer, you freak!

Stealing isn't cool, Lorenzo, but this is...

Cut!

Brilliant! You're a natural, Jer.

Thank you. Though I must say, it all felt so real.

The gadget, the tires dissolving.

Well, that's special effects, Jer. These guys are the cream of the crop in their

field. Well done, indeed.

Perhaps I should also congratulate my fellow thespians.

Method actor.

You know how it is. They hate to break character, even when the scene wrapped.

Of course. I dabble in method acting myself.

Excellent. So I'll meet you at the next location, Jerry baby.

I'm sure your second scene will be as brilliant as your first.

Indeed.

Redock toilet paper in the whoop bathroom?

Order lunch for all the in -house agents?

Doesn't Jerry know the meaning of the word delegate?

He delegated all of Whoop to us.

Hmm. Good point. Well, there's got to be someone we can delegate to.

We're super spies.

Okay,

how are we supposed to work with that going on?

It's a red alert.

Super spies.

Awesome. A red alert is definitely more important than toilet paper restocking.

The head of a major Hollywood movie studio has been reported missing. He

arrived at work.

The last place he was seen was in his Hollywood heels, home.

I get to save a Hollywood movie studio mogul?

This is so my chance to break in.

Hey, we should give Jerry a call. After all, he's in Hollywood. Maybe he's seen

something. Good thinking, Alex. If anything's going on, Jerry's got to be

over it. He's not one to miss a clue.

Me, me, me, me, me, me.

My, my, my, my, my, my, my. Mo, mo, mo, mo.

Hello?

Look, girls, I'm in the middle of my vocal exercises. It takes immense

concentration. So whatever's going on, you'll just have to handle it.

Talk about rude.

Maybe the stress of celebrity is getting to him. Either way, looks like we'll

have to solve this one on our own.

Perhaps a gadget or two might help.

Here are the Heat Sensor Motion Detector sunglasses.

Ultra -incitable tech mess.

And the Wind Tunnel 9000 Tornado Blast Hair Dryer. Boring much? We're super

spies now. As in, where's the bling, Glad?

That's more like it. We'll take three.

But we don't even know what it does. Who cares?

It's beautiful. And sometimes, isn't that enough?

The

cashmere is

actually... Hold that thought, Glad.

Gotta jet. Hollywood awaits.

Lady.

Can you be sure Jerry won't mind

if we borrow his jet? We're in charge, remember?

Now we might as well enjoy the park.

Totally. I mean, we're going to Hollywood.

And if we can't arrive in a limo, we have to take the next best thing.

Even if we don't...

This is what a big wig studio mogul's house looks like.

Nice.

Everything seems normal.

To the naked eye, maybe.

Hmm. Thought for sure the heat sensor motion detector sunglasses would reveal

something.

Hey, what gives?

Littering, which is so uncool.

Sammy, wait.

I think there's some writing on that paper.

Bingo! We have our first lead, girls. Now all we need to do is a handwriting

analysis.

In this next scene, you'll infiltrate the office of Evil Evelyn and take her

with your freeze ray before she calls her cronies out of retirement for one

heist. No problem, Zocrum baby.

That's my star!

are totally ruining my manicure.

Just put them in the file cabinet for now. We'll alphabetize later.

Hmm. Wrong button.

Wonder what it does.

Manicure 911 here.

Like I said, I'm no good with agendas.

results of the writing analysis then why do you look like the girl at the prom

without a date because it reveals that the handwriting belongs to jerry our

jerry impossible the program must be buggy run it again oh another red alert

double red alert there's a crime in progress an alarm has been triggered at

headquarters of another major hollywood studio seems like someone has a major

beef with hollywood

Yes, J .R., we're smoothing with the E .P. about the pre -pro on the Indie Prod

rom -com, but the idea's giving us a hard time.

Freeze,

Evelyn, and I mean that literally.

Cut.

Magnifique. You're a natural, 0067.

You're gonna be huge at the box office.

Well, it does come naturally.

Hold it right there, intruder!

Jerry? Girls?

What's going on here?

What's going on is we're shooting a movie and you're interrupting.

Uh, if this is a movie, then why does she look so seriously freaky?

Maybe the handwriting analysis wasn't wrong after all. Maybe Jerry is

Oh, it's called method a - Acting, Sam.

You'll have to excuse them. They know nothing of the craft.

Now, please leave. Can't you see I'm busy?

We're not here to see you, dear.

We're here on official loop business.

Such passion.

Did anyone ever tell you girls you should be in pictures?

Only every day.

This is too wonderful. You three are just perfect for the junior spy role.

Just stand here.

Your stunts in this movie are truly magnificent, Holcrum. It's gotta look

or no one will believe it, right?

way he's brainwashed, Jerry?

Well, that and the way he launched me through a window instead of using me in

his movie?

Hello? What kind of loser director is he?

Come on. I think it's time to do some digging into O 'Kram's credit list.

I knew it! He doesn't even have credits. This guy's not an A -list director.

No wonder he doesn't know talent when it's staring him in the face.

Maybe we need to come out - it from a different angle.

Let's do a search on Whoop's past fatty.

Look at that!

Marco Lumiere escaped from a Whoop prison a few days ago.

Hey, he's the wannabe who couldn't break into showbiz, so he forced everyone,

including us, to be in his lame -o movie.

tricking him into taking out Hollywood's top execs. We've got to get to Jer

before Lumiere decides he doesn't need them anymore.

And I know just where to find them.

Lumiere took out the top two studio execs so far, so his next target will be

third top mogul in Hollywood.

There's one for you, and another for you. Here you go. For you, and another

you.

Thanks. Oh, you're so... Welcome.

Oh, how I love spending time with my adoring fans.

We're losing daylight, Jer, so we've got to get this in the can ASAP. Now, in

this next scene, 0067 captures the brains behind the entire Taylor Diamond

heist. Not so fast, Lumiere.

Lumiere? Girls, Okram is an A -list director, and I'll thank you not to let

petty jealousies ruin my stardom.

Jerry, you don't understand.

I understand completely.

From now on, my focus is my new career. I'm handing Whoop over to you

permanently.

Jer, this is for your own good.

Clover!

Okay, so he had plastic surgery to change his appearance.

It's not just for women anymore, you know. Get rid of them.

Yes, sabotaging a movie shoot is quite unforgivable.

Sorry, Jerry, but there comes a time when...

The student must become the teacher.

No film, but my performance is... There, baby.

Film's the thing of the past. This is the newest technology.

Can it, Lumiere.

I'm on to you.

Not if I'm on to you first.

I don't think so.

acting with a little, yeah, this ought to loosen you up.

No, not the freeze ray.

be some sort of freeze ray protection.

Talk about a fashion coup.

Guess it's time for a little turbo action to melt the freeze.

Pins and needles, pins and needles.

Thank you. Now it's time to give Lumiere the performance of my life.

on a one -way street.

That's about as clever as your 0067 dribble. But this casting session is

Didn't your mother ever tell you it's not polite to point?

If

you

don't mind, I'd like to do the honors. After all, I wasn't cast as 0067 for

nothing.

I think you can use a little cooling off. No!

Yay! Yay! Bravo!

Thank you. Thank you. Oh, you're too kind.

Oh, my.

Were you girls reorganizing?

Uh, yeah. That's it.

Reorganizing.

I suppose now that my career as a professional thespian didn't work out, I

should be happy I can return to my spy career.

Uh, check back there.

Whoops, ours now. Remember, and if you want to come back, you'll have to work

for us. You can start by restocking the bathroom.

Several agents are filing grievances.

You'll receive mine shortly.

On second thought, welcome back, boss.

Amateurs.

Hey, friends.

Today I'm going to share a little secret for those of you who want to become

spies. For instance, espadrilles. If I'm being attacked by a baddie in

espadrilles, I know she's a sensible type.

Pumps, I'm dealing with a determined yet fashion -conscious villain.

Lopers?

Buy the book much?

Even my shoes say something about me.

Like I was saying, footwear means nothing.

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