Original subtitles

[theme music]

Ah!

Haha!

The wave!

Totally!

Dude, that is the the gnarliest [inaudible]

we've gotten all day.

Let us book back to shore.

Not sweet, totally sour!

The shore's like slipping away!

BOTH: Ahh!

SAM: What's up with the line?

Ooh, maybe it's a casting call for a cool new teen talent TV

show.

This could be my lucky break!

Something tells me that whatever it is--

Next!

BOTH: Clover is behind it.

Just so you understand, I'm looking for someone who

understands my needs, without understanding what

those needs are, understood?

I-- I think so.

You think?

Sorry, not looking for thinkers, looking for doers.

Next!

You guys want to apply to be my personal assistant?

Since when do you need a personal assistant?

Someone has to array my disarrayed schedule

of school work, shopping, and hottie sharking.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a lineup of freshman girls

to interview.

Next!

Ugh!

Your search is over. I'm--

Way Way too pushy!

Next!

Now, Tara, is it?

Here's the 4-1-1, the job pays approximately-- nothing.

But you will earn priceless life experience

and valuable fashion tips.

That sounds great.

But I'm sure you don't want someone shy like me.

After all, you are the prettiest and most popular

girl in school.

Hired!

In ancient Greek civilization, slaves

tended to their masters, not only as domestic servants,

but as agricultural workers, mine workers,

as it were, et cetera, et cetera.

Note takers.

Hmm, not bad.

But next time, please dot my Is with a heart.

Mm-hmm.

I love that hoodie.

And that belly shirt is the cutest ever!

And could those cargos be any cooler?

Time to try them on.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Ugh.

OK, ew.

Ugh.

Ohh!

[giggles] Whoa, I didn't tell Tara to do that.

Wow, what's wrong, Clover?

Has your go getter gotten up and left?

No.

I'm just going over the stuff Tara wrote in my diary.

She's writing your diary?

Could you be any lazier?

Hold that thought.

Uh, memo to Tara, if this working out for me

is going to work out for me, I'm going

to need to see some sweat. Thanks, hon.

Anything you say, Clover.

Don't you think you're taking advantage of that poor girl?

Tara's loving her new gig.

She's been looking for a mentor just like me.

Was that mentor or tormentor?

Speaking of tormenting, get ready to land on your--

Pillow?

ALL: Ahh, uh.

A cushioned whooping?

New age music, dim lighting, and incense,

OK Jerry, what is up?

What's up?

My energy lines, which have enabled

the flow of my inner Chi, all thanks to Feng Shui.

ALL: Huh?

Feng who?

Feng shui.

It's a means of arranging an environment

to enhance well-being.

Come on, Jer, FS is so 2002.

Correction, 3002, which is how long

Feng Shui has been practiced.

Girls, meet my Feng Shui guru, Yin Yang.

ALL: Uh?

Your skepticism is understandable.

Even Jerry was doubtful at first.

Then I showed him how to achieve balance, in both his life

and the WOOHP work environment.

OK, silk bathrobes and ponytails for men?

According to Feng Shui, everything is alive,

people, buildings, that desk, even your clothes.

Ahh!

My skirt's alive?

Yin Yang means everything around us

has a life force energy.

Now this is why I've changed myself and my office,

to keep this energy fresh and alive.

Haha.

Of course, the most important thing that needs changing

is the world.

Um, Jerry, before we change the world,

don't you have a save the world type mission for us?

For now, your mission is to mellow

out, just like GLADIS has.

Inner child-like expendable teddy

bear, life force magnet necklace, and

a holistic healing bracelet.

Use them with love.

You call those weapons?

No, I call them instruments of life preservation.

ALL: [gasp]

Um, speaking of life preservation,

I think there might be a major earthquake somewhere.

Your seismograph's out of control!

Merely a part of the Earth's natural harmony, right Jerry?

Right.

Now girls, go and Illuminate your path to self-discovery.

ALL: Ugh.

This new shiny, happy Jer is totally creepy.

Yeah, and that seismic situation

needs some investigating.

Let's roll.

Alex, this is so not the time for dirty looks.

Hello!

Flying!

I'm sorry, it's just that I'm so used to seeing

Tara doing your dirty work.

She's got dirtier work, my laundry.

Guys, focus.

The X Powder's tracked the seismic center

off the coast of New Zealand where land meets water.

OK, that's freaky.

Whoever's guarding the coast is not doing their job.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about the coastline.

It's supposed to be like, right here, but it's so not.

Whoa!

[gasp] That's 'cause it's floating

in the middle of the ocean.

OK, That's not cool.

We better call Jerry.

Feng Shui seminar in session.

Peace be with you.

Looks like we're on our own.

ALL: Uh!

Wait!

Shouldn't we change into something

more undercover safari chic?

Cool!

[rumbling]

Please tell me that's somebody's stomach.

ALL: Ahh!

ALL: [scream]

CLOVER: Hang on!

ALEX: You think?

[gasp] Clover!

Ahh!

Oh, nice grab, Clover!

Almost there.

If only this earth will hold--

Whoa!

Help!

This human chain is going to break.

I need something sturdier!

How about that metal cable thingy?

Metal cable thingy?

How'd that get there?

Who cares?

Just grab it!

OK, but how are we going to reach the cable?

The- the life force magnet necklace!

Maybe it'll attract the metal but-- but I

kind of need my other hand.

So do we!

We

We don't have a choice.

Clover, give it a shot.

Alex, jump!

Magnetism rules.

Jump back on, guys.

Are you sure it's going to hold us?

Kinda.

Good enough.

ALL: Whoa!

That earth crumbling thing is so going

to hurt tourism around here.

Of course they do have cable TV.

Whoa!

[screaming]

BOTH: Clover!

An uninhabited island with underground cables?

Somebody put it there for a reason.

But who?

And why?

No time to wait for the mystery cable guy!

ALL: Ahh!

On a Richter scale of 1 to 10, I'd rate that island an 11.

Uh, what island?

ALL: [scream]

CLOVER: [sigh] can't believe we flew all around the world

and all we brought back was this piece of cable.

Maybe it's more than that.

I'll try and trace the origins with the X Powder.

[sigh] Works for me.

All I want to do is crash on the couch.

Ahh!

OK, who moved our couch?

ALL: Huh?

SAM: I'm thinking it's the same person

who moved all our other stuff.

Tara.

Oh, hello, Clover, Clover's friends.

Clover's friends are about to be your worst enemy.

What did you do with all of our furniture?

I didn't do anything in here.

But I did reorganize your entire closet by size, color,

and seasonal appropriateness.

Uh, wait a sec, is that my sundress?

Don't be silly.

Why would I wear your dress when I could wear my own?

I bought all the same outfits you have,

and makeup, and hair products, and--

Enough ands!

OK, I just got one last thing to take care of.

Ugh, Clover, your personal assistant

is getting way too personal.

It's super creepy.

Almost as super creepy is someone moving our furniture.

I'm calling Jerry.

Hello, are we celebrating the rebirth of our personal space?

SAM: What?

Yin Yang and I decided to harmonize your living area.

Uh, Jer, are you OK?

I'm great.

I'm at one with the earth.

Yeah, about the earth, we checked out

that weird seismic activity--

Sorry, but I'm due to have my chakras aligned.

Forget his chakras.

How about aligning his brain!

It's the cable analysis.

Says here it's made of interwoven steel

with a high content of soy extract?

How weird is that?

[gasp] Not as weird as that!

Gah!

You like my hair?

Ugh.

You mean my hair.

Uh, look Tara, why don't you take the rest of the day

off, OK?

Cool.

See ya.

And so wanna be ya!

I wanted someone to help me, not be me.

What am I going to do?

We're going to go back to the South Pacific.

Turns out there's been a mega large shipment

of that metal cable material sent to an uncharted island.

No sign of an uncharted island yet.

Keep your eyes open.

We should be getting close.

Look out!

ALL: [scream]

I think we found it.

The ground seems stable here.

In fact, this place is really peaceful.

Peaceful, but not natural.

Kind of like that tropical island restaurant in the mall.

ALL: Huh?

Huh?

Uh.

Huh!

Love the robe look.

It says, I'm relaxed and casual.

I'm free to-- Run!

ALL: [cough]

Ew, I reek like lavender.

Maybe your stench will stop them.

No time to find out. Let's go.

Ugh!

Uh!

Easy for you to say.

I'm stuck!

SAM: We all are.

I think it's quicksand!

CLOVER AND ALEX: Duh!

ALL: Ugh!

Uh!

[scream] Oh.

We

Where are we?

You are at my my Feng Shui island retreat headquarters.

[gasp] Yin Yang!

Please tell me this is some freaky Feng

Shui not-so-practical joke.

Bringing about world peace is no joke.

How is making the blood rush to our heads going

to bring about world peace?

Without your interference, I have

complete the installation of cables in land masses

all over the world.

Hehe.

Think of it as a continental shift in consciousness.

That's why you became Jerry's guru?

Yes.

By controlling Jerry's mind, the WOOHP organization,

present company included, nothing

will stop my new world design.

Hahaha.

But rearranging the continents will destroy the planet!

You worry too much.

A soak in a pool of my mellowing tea

will remove your fears of my new natural world order.

I got to admit, for an evil world wrecker,

Yin Tang is pretty nice.

Uh.

CLOVER: Ew!

ALL: [scream]

Yeah, nice enough to drop us into boiling water.

Hahaha.

This Feng Shui stuff is so not fun.

My inner Chi is about to be scalded by steaming chai!

And those new weapons happy-go-GLADIS

gave us aren't going to help.

Farewell, useless bear.

Whoa!

More like useful, expendable bear.

ALL: Yeah!

We're saved.

Tea time is so over.

We've got to find Yin Yang before he has

his Feng Shui with the world.

CLOVER: Whoa!

If that's nature, I'll keep my distance, thank you very much.

ALL: [scream]

Hurry!

Let's see how my world wide humanitarian efforts

are fairing.

Haha haha.

Seeing the earth move really moves me.

Huh?

They're still floating around!

Well, it's time to drown their sorrows.

ALL: [scream] Whoa!

Hahaha.

Huh!

Hiyah!

ALL: [scream]

OK, I didn't see that coming

Neither did Yin Yang.

How did he do that?

My superior level of consciousness

has given me a third eye.

A camera eye.

This camera feeds a signal into my specially designed contact

lens, allowing me to see all.

Three against one?

We can beat him with our eyes closed.

Or, his eyes closed.

Eeyah!

Uh!

Hah!

[gasp] Ahh!

Huh?

[gasp]

My eye see all.

Hahaha.

Hehehe.

Huh?

Oh, no.

More nature.

ALL: [scream]

We've got to get him out of there.

Ahh!

Uh-oh.

I didn't see that coming.

First I let you into WOOHP headquarters,

and then you hypnotize me with that third eye.

Oof.

Uh?

How could I be so irresponsible?

Ahh, It's nice to have the old uptight Jerry back.

Nice job, spies.

You'll be happy to know that WOOHP

agents are returning the landmasses

to their rightful place.

Oh well.

There goes that walk to Paris for a quick shop.

So is today the day your personal assistant

gets the boot?

I think I'm going to take Tara under my wing

and teach her that the key to popularity

is to be your own person.

Speaking of popularity, Who's in middle

of that mass of people?

So I'm all like, totally, and she's all like, whatever.

Hahaha.

You're the coolest, Tara!

Of course she's the coolest.

She's me!

Next thing you know, she'll be hiring

her own personal assistant.

Sorry people, I've got personal assistants

to interview.

No you don't.

If you want to stay on top, I am the only VIP

cool enough to be your PA.

Anybody wants to talk to Tara talks to me first!

Line up!

Aw, Clover, nobody can ever be a better Clover than you.

Yeah.

You'll always be the coolest BF ever.

Thanks guys.

Besides, with Mandy helping her, Tara's 15 minutes of popularity

is so over.

Hahah.

[crying]

Yin Yang might be a master wacko,

but Feng Shui is totally good for absolute calm.

And hello, when your gig is being

an international super spy, a little bit of relaxation

can go a long way.

Hey, I can hear you in my closet, Alex.

Hands off the new platforms!

ALEX: I was just looking!

Total relaxation.

[toilet flush]

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