Original subtitles

It's a fucking penance that's gone? Yeah, it's a fucking penance that's

Oh God.

No!

Criminal! I know.

I'm not coming back season two. Unless I get to say that line. You are coming

back. We've cut the line so that you can have it in season two. How about that?

Hello, and you are very welcome to Episode 5 of the Walsh Sisters, the

companion podcast.

And joining us on the line via the magic of satellite and other business is

Daddy Walsh himself, Mr. Aidan Quinn. Thank you for joining us. Also, will

you adopt me, please?

No, I love you so much.

Everybody loves you. You are the most beautiful, beautiful paternal figure in

all of this. You're just so loving and so kind.

Thank you. Thank you for playing the role with such sweetness.

You really are incredible. Well, you know, it was there. It was there in the

writing. It was there in the books. It was there in Steph's writing.

It was just an extraordinary privilege to get to work with these actresses who

are so amazing and so stunning. And Ian, the wonderful director. And yeah,

we had a good time doing it.

I'm actually kind of shook for, I know some of you are listening, but others of

you will be viewing this.

Aidan Quinn has an earring. And I'm like, Dad, since when have you got an

earring? Yeah.

What happened?

Since I was about 30 years old and I had to play a sailor with an earring. So

it's been in and out of my ear for 35 years.

Depending on roles.

Yeah. And depending on how I feel about myself that month.

Maybe season two, Daddy Waltz will have an earring. Oh, yeah.

Have an earring singing Oklahoma. I don't know about that. I don't know if

two go together.

I think they would. I think they really would.

Daddy Walsh's absolute haven is the department, his garden, shed, home,

Let's go to a clip and then we'll discuss.

The doctor says that with my age and how long we've been trying, we probably

need to do IVF, but I don't have 10 grand to just drop at the slight chance

having a baby.

Do you know what Albert Reynolds said to me once before the budget?

Dad, please.

Like, please don't quote Irish history on me. You know I don't follow all the

presidents and... Presidents?

Use our tea circle.

Jesus, Mary.

Do you know how shameful it is to me that not if you showed the slightest

interest?

I'd see the polling cards coming in. They'd get more attention if they were

pizza menus.

Here.

What is this?

It's my rainy day fund.

I'm going to transfer it to you.

You take what you need out of it.

I don't want you worrying about money for IVF.

But, Dad, it's... Margaret, I cannot think of anyone more deserving to be a

mother than you.

Are you sure?

I'm certain.

I love you.

Dad, do you know how dangerous it is to have all of your passwords and your

account details written down like this?

Sure, that's what I remember.

Oh, I mean, can I just say that, like, in a show where an awful lot of people

show their love by being acerbic, as well as the fact that, like, people are

actual open conflict, how important Aidan's role is.

Because he is just pure love.

Even at the start of that scene, which we didn't see, but when he sees Margaret

coming, he says, you're the only one of them when I see you coming. You don't

give me blood pressure.

He's lovely.

He's just lovely.

And I think, Aidan, you provide such an important ballast

to the whole show.

Because somebody needs to be...

Unreservedly loving and kind.

Yeah. He just has unconditional positive regard for the girls.

And no matter what they do, they can come to him. And I think we really need

that for them as well, because otherwise it's like, well, they come from a

horrible home. Yeah. Nobody loves them. Well, I mean, I think, you know, if you

I mean, if you saw, you know, the child that doesn't give you blood pressure and

all of a sudden she's in tears.

And again, she's talking about.

business things and other things with Ian and the camera angle and then the

camera rolls and there's this woman in anguish and she's the one that was

even -keeled and not in trouble. So it was very itchy to react to the great

performances that I was sitting next to. I mean, it's just in the writing, you

know. But I think there are plenty of actors who you were just so...

generous because I think you knew that you definitely had the most experience

anybody on set and that not everybody has the generosity where you would take

aside afterwards and be like oh my god you're incredible and this is the take

they need to use and you could see all of us just like being glowing after we'd

walked away from doing a scene with you because we felt so proud of ourselves

because you had bestowed that pride upon us. And I think while you did that as

Aidan Quinn, there's a bit of Daddy Walsh in that where it's kind of like,

get him, kid, like you're great, you know? And I think it read really

beautifully.

Wow, well, that's brilliant. I think Daddy Walsh is also trying to make

for all the years that he was away long hours at work. And he was...

Mammie Walsh had all the work to do, all the laundry, all of this, all the

dramas. I would have late night meetings and I would have weekend golf things

that had to be done for the politics.

And also I enjoyed them and getting away from all the drama.

And I think he realized when he retires that, you know what, he really was

Not that he was a bad father, but he was physically absent.

And he's trying to make amends for that, you know, in these latter years,

you know.

You have a lot of scenes with Mammy where that, like as Marion calls it,

cop, bad cop, where, you know, one of you takes one role and the other takes

other. Do you think that Daddy Walsh is sympathetic to how Mammy behaves?

Or do you think that he thinks she...

play things completely wrong?

I think he's sympathetic.

But I mean, I don't think he has complete understanding.

And I don't think most men do.

You know, I think there is that thing. But I think he's lived through enough

drama to know that what he doesn't know is not necessarily something

to be judged as.

completely wrong or terrible it just is what he it doesn't know how to how to

figure out so you know to give people to try and give people the space to to

figure out their own their own journey you know i mean i think i think that

happens in in marriages you know you have these departments where things are

where you can be very together and uh there's certain parts where you're

separate you know and uh that's okay you divide and conquer sometimes and

sometimes you're very united and sometimes you're going on separate paths

there any part of daddy waltz that you personally related to i was telling the

story just to marion off camera of how after we shot that scene that we've just

heard the of you giving me the money in the shed you said to me Yeah, but

Stephanie, how else would he remember?

You have to write your passwords down.

And I was like, oh no, Aidan, you don't.

But I still do.

It's so dangerous.

What? It's so dangerous to have everything written down in one place.

Well... But it's in your password thing. It's in your notes on your phone. It's

in your thing. You don't think those things get hacked and they get hacked

the time. No, come here, Aidan. Do you have your own chair at home? Because

there was one scene, I think in this episode, where like Claire and Mammy and

you are sitting on the couch. Anyway, they eventually leave and you hop off

couch and into your chair and start reading The South Side People, which...

I cannot tell you how much I love everything about it because my dad was

same. His own chair and read the Southside People from cover to cover

week. Oh, yeah.

And I love that Rory McIlroy came up on the television and he was minus 17.

It came up a shot of Rory McIlroy was minus 17. And when I was watching this

episode, Rory McIlroy was minus 17 at the Irish Open.

And he had to make an eagle on the last hole to get into a playoff at the K

Club, and he ended up winning it. It was so funny because, yeah, no.

He has to have his own chair. Yeah, a man has to have his own chair. A man has

to have his own chair, yes.

Absolutely. I certainly have my own chair where we live. Tell them about the

golf club that the production gave you.

Oh, mother of God. They were like 30 years old with rust on them that you

wouldn't take them out onto a pitch and putt if you'd never played before.

Were they to be your personal ones?

Yeah. And I said, there's no way that this man doesn't have a decent set of

clubs. So we were able to wrangle.

They were never going to be used, they were just set dressing and Aidan came to

me and he was like, this is a crime. Come here, can we talk about the scene

where you and Mammy Walsh are sitting in the coffee shop in Black Rock and

you're sitting at the window and you're reading the paper and across the road

Helen comes into view with her friends and Aidan, the expressions, the micro

expressions on your face.

Is that your mum?

Yeah. Helen Walsh. Mum.

You okay?

You were supposed to be the easy one. The fifth child is supposed to slot

in. I already have a troublemaker, a drama queen, an unreliable and a people

pleaser. Come on, Helen, give me a break. Will you please stop?

No, will you stop?

No. No, I'm not going to change my life because you're a homophobe.

A homophobe?

I don't give a shit who you're kissing, be they man, woman or fecking gender

fluid, but vaping.

My daughter, a vapist.

Getting off his chair with the scarf and the terrible concern.

Yeah, like something terrible is going down here and he needs to stop it from

happening. I live with two daughters and a wife, so I do have a little bit of

experience.

You know when something's about to go down. Of having to intercede at certain

times.

But that's what Ian was saying as the director.

just your micro expressions like you just are always on and you know how to

communicate non -verbally so well that we can always cut back to like how is

daddy while speaking about a thing yeah and like you can do like at least three

emotions simultaneously yeah you know you can see concern and you can see love

and you can see like you know panic panic yeah yeah at least three emotions

mean I'm sure there are times where you know he's he's not he's not uh

this ideal character, you know, where he too has his moments, you know, where he

loses it. I mean, did your dad ever marry him?

Oh, absolutely.

Yeah, absolutely.

Because he was tired and he worked hard and we were very, very, very badly

behaved. And it was really, really hard. It was like trying to herd weasels.

And yeah, like he would come home and like, yeah, just yell.

Because it was frustrating to be him.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And when there's that much chaos when you come home.

Yeah, yeah. And like a day of it. Yeah.

You know, you think home was meant to be the safe place and somebody else was

meant to be in charge of keeping calm.

Yeah. And that wasn't happening.

No. And I think he's relatable in that way in the sense that like you just feel

like. That little shed that he has. The shed.

The shed is the saving of him, isn't it? Yeah.

I think him getting out to go golfing on the weekends and his couple of days a

week he gets to go golfing with the guys or go to the pub, you know, a couple

nights a week, whatever it is. Yeah.

I think that's important to him.

We had Louisa Harland on a previous episode and she was saying that in the

where you tell her that Aidan is dead and that was a really conscious decision

that like, Daddy is going to be the one to break this news. He's the only one

who can do it.

And you can imagine that off screen that has been decided, like you tell her

because you'll be the saving grace, that when the camera turned around on you,

that Louisa as an actress couldn't keep it together. It was just too real and

you were too emotional and she would just sob, crying.

How are those kind of heavier emotional scenes? I know you have a lot of them,

but those scenes for you to play.

Well, like I said, I mean, when you're gifted with this beautiful writing and

characters, you just kind of ride the surf and you have actresses like Louisa

and Caroline and yourself and Carrie and Marais. I mean, you just

let go of and just focus on, you know, what's happening in the moment,

in the scene.

You know, Marion's favorite line of the whole show.

is your line in episode one. Marian, tell him.

I like Luke.

Luke has got riz.

It's just so cute.

And also the fact that you crave male company and you're disappointed because

Luke isn't there and instead you're getting garved, you know? Well, and

But, oh my God, it's the sweetest.

Luke does. Oh, yeah.

And he's very good, Gareth. He's excellent.

He's a great character.

He's so funny.

We've actually, we've cut the scene because we had to for time where, you

Mammy says, it's a fucking penance. And I remember you saying to me, I want more

lines like that in season two.

Oh, no, it's a fucking penance is gone. Yeah, it's a fucking penance is gone.

Oh, God.

No, criminal.

I know.

I'm not coming back. I'm not coming back season two. Unless I get to say that

line. You are coming.

We've cut the line so that you can have it in season two. How about that?

Give him three like that.

Oh, he's got loads of them in season two like that. Yeah, loads of scary ones.

Riz and penance, all that kind of stuff. Excellent.

No, so when this airs, the scene in the hospital

where Carrie says about she breastfed them all, that's already played, right?

That's already played, yeah, for sure. You love that line. That made me howl.

I mean, howl.

And the extraordinary thing was the camera wasn't even on her when she said

line. And it still made me howl. There is no money.

She's such a character.

And she delivers that character so beautifully.

Can I tell Aidan about when I was in Australia?

Aidan, I was in Australia on a book tour in May and I did a huge amount of

travelling. I did an awful lot of public events and everybody asked about who

was... In the cast, when I mentioned you, people nearly had to be sedated.

ambulances, like people were so happy, like absolutely overjoyed. And I think

they are going to be thrilled when they see this and when they see you.

I think you're just going to make an awful lot of people feel...

so much better about the world and everything in it. I mean, thank you so

for playing such a beautiful character with such conviction and with such

generosity. Like, I love you and I love the part that you have played and I'm so

grateful to you and I think I can speak for us all. Yeah, absolutely.

Well, thank you, thank you, thank you all. Thank you for the pleasure and the

honour of getting to play this part.

and to do this dance. Let's get back on the dance floor if we can. Back on the

dance floor, and you can have all of the comedic lines.

I'll do anything I can to get you back.

Did I tell you, Marion?

Go on. Daddy Walsh loses it, and everybody's shocked.

Yeah. He just completely loses it.

You have no idea what's ahead of you. No. I mean, it was just an absolute

pleasure and an absolute joy to work with these.

and this writing.

And I'm very, very biased, obviously, because I'm in love with all of you.

But I loved it. I loved watching the episodes.

And I think everyone, hopefully out there, will love it too.

Thank you so very much for joining us.

A pleasure.

All right. Good luck with the rest of it. We love you.

Bye -bye.

And after the break, we will be coming back with some more clips.

some more insider gossip. So yeah, join us after this.

Welcome back to part two of the episode five podcast.

We're very delighted that you're joining us.

And I think for people who have just seen the episode, you're shook. I'm

shook and I wrote the thing, but I think that final scene, like it just gets me

every single time. Let's have a go of it.

I never want to hear your voice ever again.

Did you just come here to have a go at me?

No, Rachel.

I came here because Aidan has a fucking baby with another woman.

And I realise I have been so dependent on you for my entire life that I don't

even know how I feel about something until I know how you feel about it. And

then I come here and I see your stupid face.

And your...

Junkie friends and I realized you will never feel how I do

No, you'll always you'll always get what you need

you're like a tree growing through the wall You'll always find a way to make

friends and get your own way and you don't give a shit about who you damage

the process That's not true It's not true

I'm sorry

I'm sorry.

Actually, yeah, it is true for everyone else in the world, but not you.

They're just so brilliant. And that was the first scene that Louisa Harlan

filmed. You're not serious.

That was the first scene.

Rachel had been in, Caroline had been in for a few weeks and Louisa just had to

come in for the first time not knowing anybody and do that scene.

Like to have that chemistry and that connection. It's so utterly believable.

And oh my God, like Anna just completely describes an addict

in the world. You will always get what you need.

And you don't care who you damage. Yeah, you don't care who you damage in the

process.

And then poor Rachel.

And Rachel doesn't know that that's what she's like.

Because she's kind of operating out of her lizard brain.

And trying to get the things that she desperately needs. Just do what you can

survive.

And that is like the crux of the relationship. And what we didn't hear

but we saw in the episode is then how that leads.

What I found so moving was the anger of Anna.

She's in her house and Janie arrives with the baby.

And she realizes that this man that she loves has a baby with somebody else.

And then that anger of like, I don't know how to process this without you

because you've made me so dependent on you. And that's my fault as well. And

angry at myself and I'm angry at you.

And it's easier to be angry with you.

Yeah, than sad about Aidan.

It's really hard when you love someone who's an addict.

And it's that, but it's that thing I feel really.

sad for Rachel Worthy. He's like, I just want to wipe the slate clean. Oh my

God, it's not your slate to wipe. It's not your slate.

It's my slate. You don't get to wipe it clean. And that I think is one of the

hardest parts of being an addict is like...

When you decide, OK, I'm ready to be a better person now. I'm ready to make

amends. And people are like, sorry, you really hurt me. She's still not getting

it. It's permanent damage sometimes.

Well, A, it's permanent damage. And B, just because you've seen the light all

a sudden, doesn't mean that other people are ready to welcome the light.

You know, people have moved away from you. People have moved on different

through their lives.

You don't get to say who must accept your apology.

And I think that happens in the moment. And then I was trying to capture the

messiness of all that.

The messiness of the codependence and the addict and the grieving person. And

then she says at the end, of course, I want you at the memorial. Yes. But I

don't want you there.

Exactly. Yet that awful duality. Yeah. Like, and both things are

equally true. This is Rachel's burden, her challenge.

To try and accept both of those things.

So Rachel has to just exist.

At the whim of Anna's mood.

Yeah. That's a hard thing for an addict to do. Like that's.

Yeah. You go with your higher power though.

You go and you take your higher power. Yeah. And you have to realize that like.

You don't really matter. This is about Anna.

Yeah. And I know that's very hard for an addict to do. To kind of make the leap

from self.

To another person having feelings.

But it has to be done at some stage.

It does.

Which I think is a good segue into.

Because what we came up against. The challenge we came up against. Is the.

I guess the life cycle of grief. And the life cycle of recovery.

So we knew in the production. That we had to get Rachel out. For a reason. Or

else.

She either goes to the memorial. Or she doesn't. But like.

The memorial is going to happen. So what is going to happen here?

And in the book, Rachel does her whole journey at rehab.

She does her, is it five or six weeks?

Six. Six weeks. And then Mammy and Daddy Walter collect her.

But because of the time that we were set in the show, she's not finished.

Yeah. When this, I guess, pseudo invitation to leave comes along. And

kind of a creative construct where.

I don't know if you would leave, but I know people who've been in rehab and

funerals come up and they do leave and they come back or whatever.

So I want to have a go with a clip here about Rachel

and Josephine and the kind of moment I think when we see

Rachel's kind of next step in her recovery.

She lashes out and then she finds a way to apologise.

I want to play that clip and then I want to go back to the book and see how it

was done in the book.

It's hard to feel used sexually, but it's worse if no one wants to use you.

What the fuck does that mean? Your reaction to Chris saying no shows how

desperate you are for other people's approval.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

You're painful.

The shit that you come out with and you think you're being inspiring.

Your rudeness is a weapon and an armour and both are useless.

See?

Just more of your bullshit.

Keep trying, you know it's true.

Nothing you've ever said to me is true.

You're a fucking charlatan. You give people insecurities so you can swoop in

solve them.

I'm not an idiot, Rachel.

You get validation from having sex with men because it makes you feel chosen and

you never felt chosen at home.

Shut up, you fucking barren bitch.

So this is one moment where I feel like Rachel diverges

in the most extreme way from Rachel in the books.

Because I think we... We see so much, like Rachel has these kind of acerbic

thoughts in her head, but she doesn't say them. Say them out loud, no. Because

she cares too much about what other people think.

But in the book, there is a moment with Josephine where Rachel says, I hated

you.

And so that's the moment where she does speak out loud and lets Josephine know

that she hated her. The reader has been privy to the things she thought about

Josephine.

But as a viewer, I needed to find a way for her to really

lash out. Because I think when Josephine says that thing about sex, like you get

validation from having sex with men. Yeah.

That it hits such a nerve. Oh God, yeah.

That I needed, we've seen her react to things emotionally, but I needed her to

say something.

But it is quite a sentence.

It is quite a sentence.

Yeah.

I mean, it's incredibly cruel.

It is.

And yes, that's what he needed to say.

I feel like the way that it was kind of building in my head when I was writing

it was that Josephine, like she was like a, Rachel's like a feral animal and

Josephine is like pushing her into a corner, into a corner. And then this is

moment that she just gets her claws out and she's like, fuck off.

Yeah, I mean.

Like an awful lot of the things in rehab are constructed to actually make people

lose their temper or to generate conflict.

Like conflict is very important.

Why? Because most people in addiction are like acute people

pleasers. I mean, they hide their anger.

They would bitch behind people's back, but they very rarely kind of front up to

a person.

And, you know, people are trying really, really hard, you know, initially,

especially in rehab, to be lovely and lovable, to kind of be the funny person

the one, the obliging person, the one who gets up and does the worst jobs or

whatever. And so it's done.

It's part of the treatment, you know, especially to give the new people the

worst job, like the earliest starts and everything, to get people to be honest.

And anger is honest.

Yeah. The spite is honest.

Yeah. It's definitely one that, like, when we saw, like, when people see that

bit, there's an audible gasp because calling someone a fucking barren bitch

pretty, it's really extreme and phenomenally cruel.

It's actually Caroline's favourite line and she's been asking a few interviews

and they're like, no, we can't print that. Say something nice. Say, I love

Anna. That was your favourite line. Yes, yes, yes. But we have, I think it shows

growth that she is then able to apologize.

I'm wondering if you could read the part for us in the book where Rachel

realizes why Josephine understands her so much.

Okay.

So this is Josephine speaking.

And finally, can I say, she said, what a satisfying experience it has been for

me to see how you've changed and grown over your time here.

Was I awful? I asked out of curiosity.

You were a tough one, but you weren't the worst.

I hated you, I was appalled to hear myself say, although she didn't seem at

put out.

There would have been something wrong if you didn't, she agreed.

What's that they say in the film?

I'm your worst nightmare.

How did you know so much about me? I asked shyly.

How did you know when I was lying, when any of us were lying?

I was at the coalface for a long time, she said.

That told me nothing.

How do you mean?

I mean, I lived with a chronic addict and alcoholic for years, she said, with

secret smile.

I was shocked.

Poor Josephine.

Who could it have been?

One of her parents?

Her brothers?

Or perhaps even a husband?

Maybe she'd been married before she became a nun.

Who was it? I blurted out.

I expected her to say something uptight and counsellory like, that's not an

appropriate question, Rachel. But she didn't.

Instead, she paused for a long, long time, her eyes holding mine before

softly saying, me.

And I remember reading that in the book, like before this was even a thing. I'm

being like, oh my.

God, like that's how Josephine knows, because you get the sense that she's

like sanctimonious, holy nun.

And I think Gina Moxley just plays it so perfectly, doesn't she? Yeah.

So and the shock that the audience gets. I love seeing that on screen when

Josephine says, yeah, I am childless. I'm childless because I wasted all of my

fertile years being a heroin addict.

And Rachel's shame about having said that.

I think, I don't know, it just felt, and Gina played it so well, like I really

felt their relationship, like Rachel really learned something in that moment.

Yeah, yes, yeah.

Because we never expect the teachers to be like us.

Yeah. And when I was in the Rutland, some of the facilitators were in

like a lot weren't. And the one that was kind of assigned to me, I don't think

she was.

But of course some of them were.

Because, you know, only an addict can truly understand the bullshit

of another addict.

Like, you know.

And I think it really retrospectively explains Josephine's absolute lack of

being fazed by anything Rachel says. Nothing, because he's done worse.

Yeah. Much worse, probably.

And that sort of relationship then, once Josephine shares that.

it cracks Rachel open, I feel, a little bit. Yeah, it does.

And she's able to explain, I think, what you do so brilliantly, but

have more space to do it, is we get an inner insight into

how the drugs, like what it feels like to Rachel

when she takes drugs, you know? And as a reader, we get the sense that like her,

life is better in those moments when she gets the relief of the drug. Like when

people say, oh, God, I would never be an addict. It's like, well, you've never

had to deal with more pain than you can bear.

Yeah, exactly. So let's take a listen to this clip

where we kind of understand what drugs have been for Rachel.

Okay.

I remember the first time I tried coke and

I remember thinking, all these people know the secret and no one tells me.

But I found out for myself.

And then I was like, I want to know what other secrets these bastards have.

So the day I was going to go and see, cocaine

saved me.

Yeah, you're right.

Drugs have saved you, but they're not working anymore.

I mean, that's an important point.

But like for a lot of people, drugs or alcohol enabled them to

cope with the profound unpleasantness of being themselves.

You know, it kept them alive.

And if that hadn't been there, they would not have survived.

And then it's that awful, awful horror, I suppose, when

they're not making you feel good anymore. They're not taking away the

anymore. They're causing more problems than they're taking away.

And there's a grief in that because... Oh my God, it's awful.

At the start.

They were your best friend and they were like, they made everything okay.

Like everything felt hopeful and safe and warm.

I've been reading a lot of Gabor Maté at the moment and he talks a lot about

people.

first description of, you know, taking something and just how suddenly all the,

you know, you stop feeling weird and you stop feeling afraid and you stop

feeling lonely and, you know, that you'll never amount to anything.

Suddenly you feel, I can cope with it all and I'm going to do it beautifully

there's nothing to be worried about. And like, who wouldn't want that?

It just like smooths the sharp edges of the world and it's so much less scary.

And I think that because through your book, I think people get it.

huge insight into addiction into the types of people who can be addicted into

what addiction does to a person but also to a family and to their loved ones and

you know a kind of a way out of it which i think which i think is crucial but

for this show i thought it was really important for people to understand that

like these are not bad people and that

it's not As simple as like, oh, well, I always knew cocaine was really bad for

me, but I did it anyway because I'm an inherently bad person. I hate myself.

It's got nothing to do with that. No, no, it's damaged people, people in pain

who found something that took the pain away and they thought they weren't doing

anyone any harm.

But it's a progressive illness and it doesn't do the job that it once did.

the adverse effects become worse and worse but it's like boiling a frog like

when you're in that position you don't know like nobody thinks i'm going to

this job this drug and i'm going to be an addict in six months that's okay like

nobody ever sets out to do that it's only ever a response to

unbearable pain or like unbearable discomfort wouldn't be great if there

something that like Could take it all away that you wouldn't get addicted to.

Yeah, and that you wouldn't ruin your life and the life of those around you.

Yeah.

But then there's recovery.

Yeah, and that's positive too, but it's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. Not

something you can just do socially.

Well, you can do it socially, but it's not something you can just like pop of

evening, you know. That is also true, but you can do it. It works if you work

it, but you have to work it. You do have to work it, but then if you work it,

then you live a really good life.

A really, really good life.

I wonder if I see poor little Rachel, like I feel so sorry for her because

like, I feel like in that moment, she really gets like a realization that like

cocaine saved me. And like this, everyone says that this thing is really

me, but I was going to kill myself. And instead I gathered up my friends and we

took cocaine and it was amazing.

And Josephine says to her, it was amazing. But like, these are all of the

that cocaine has taken, that drugs have taken from you.

Then Rachel says, like, how can I get them all to like me? And Joachim says,

can't. You have to like yourself.

Yeah. Yeah. And you've got to get used to the fact that people will dislike you

and laugh at you and mock you.

And.

And you have to. You have to be fine with it. You have to be fine with it.

With some support, but like not with chemical support.

Yeah. Or you can have a moment of kind of, oh, that hurt.

And I think that we, I don't know, I feel very much like kind of.

cradling Rachel after that scene with Josephine because I feel like she's this

small new thing that like has a little bit of hope like a small bird and then

Anna comes in and it's like oh with your stupid face with your stupid face and

your junky friend and Rachel's looking around being like oh god I hope they

didn't hear that I do feel very moved by her journey her journey yeah I mean she

has been like she didn't leave yeah that says a lot

Because I think Jocelyn's right, like there is that voice inside her. Yeah.

Nobody ends up in rehab for no reason.

Yeah. You don't just wander in by accident.

It's too expensive.

It's too expensive. And even if you think you're only going there for the

Once you get there, you realize. Once you get there, exactly.

And you're peeling potatoes. Yeah.

Okay. So that brings us to the end of this delicious episode.

we have one more to go one more one more episode finale yes and it's um

god it's a banger it's a banger but it's also i think it's beautiful it's such a

beautiful place it is beautiful lovely to look at yeah i really hope you enjoy

it sunday night 9 35 or t1 and we'll see you immediately after straight after

and we'll sort you out thank you thank you so much

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