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1
00:00:03,628 --> 00:00:05,130
- All right, everybody,
great season of softball.
2
00:00:05,213 --> 00:00:06,798
I'm super proud
of you guys,
3
00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:09,092
and I think you're going to
like this little highlight reel
4
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:10,802
that I put together.
5
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,929
all: Dunder Mifflin!
6
00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:17,434
- Andy Bernard presents
"Summer Softball: Epic Fails."
7
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,602
[fart]
Fail.
8
00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:21,146
[fart] Fail.
9
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,856
- That's me.
- [fart] Fail.
10
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:24,524
- Is this
like a blooper reel?
11
00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:26,776
- A blooper reel?
What is this, 2005?
12
00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:28,903
Do I look like Bob Saget?
13
00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:30,905
Fail!
14
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:33,074
Who's this guy?
15
00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:35,535
? Meow, meow, meow, meow
meow, meow, meow, meow ?
16
00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:36,995
Look at him dance.
Fail!
17
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:38,079
- Fail.
18
00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:39,831
- I deserve that.
19
00:00:39,956 --> 00:00:42,208
- ? Doont-de-doont-de-doont,
doont-de-doont-de-doont ?
20
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:43,793
- That was a triple.
21
00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:46,379
- Can't take the fail?
Get out of the fail video!
22
00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:47,797
- My pleasure.
23
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,257
- [in high-pitched voice]
Hi, I'm Pete.
24
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:51,593
Puberty is such a drag, man.
25
00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:54,679
And I'm Clark.
I like to eat toilet paper.
26
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,389
We fail.
27
00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:00,477
I'd like to take a solemn
moment to remember Jerry,
28
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,146
in the warehouse,
who passed away this year.
29
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:06,524
[farting]
30
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,611
Well, that's all, folks.
31
00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,696
Ski you later, everybody.
32
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,823
Thanks for a great season.
33
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,408
- What was that?
34
00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:18,119
That was just normal video
with you making vulgar noises.
35
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:19,954
- Well, I worked
with what I had, Oscar.
36
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:23,625
Next time, do more
fail-ier stuff, okay?
37
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,251
- What happened
to that video I sent you?
38
00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:27,295
- Oh, that wasn't--
that didn't work.
39
00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:28,797
That was...
not the right thing.
40
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:29,923
- Wait, let's see it.
- Play it.
41
00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:31,549
- I think I got it right here.
- No--
42
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:34,552
[crowd cheering]
43
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,267
- Oh!
44
00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:43,186
- Forgot about this.
[laughter]
45
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:44,521
[all clapping]
46
00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:46,022
- That was not a fail.
47
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,857
That was actually
a serious accident
48
00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:49,901
that could've resulted
in severe bodily harm.
49
00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:51,486
all: Fail, fail, fail.
- You're all failing right now.
50
00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:53,613
Congratulations
on your epic fail
51
00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,699
of the use of the word fail!
52
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:58,702
[cheerful music]
53
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:05,792
{\an8}? ?
54
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:18,346
{\an8}[alarm beeping]
55
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:19,681
{\an8}- Oh, God.
56
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,268
{\an8}- What's going on?
57
00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:25,603
{\an8}- Nothing, nothing is going on.
Keep moving, please.
58
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,980
{\an8}- What's he measuring?
59
00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:28,982
{\an8}- Okay, excuse me,
I am the landlord.
60
00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:30,233
{\an8}This is between me
and the management,
61
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,693
{\an8}no one else, please.
62
00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:32,944
{\an8}- It's an EMF hotspot.
63
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,821
{\an8}- [gasps]
Oh, my God.
64
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:37,198
{\an8}- It stands for electromagnetic
fields generally caused
65
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,576
{\an8}by a concentration
of wiring in one area,
66
00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:41,911
{\an8}especially
if poorly insulated.
67
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,371
{\an8}Dwight?
68
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:46,666
{\an8}- Um, okay,
I'm just walking into this.
69
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:49,627
{\an8}Am I to understand
there's a beehive in the wall?
70
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:52,339
{\an8}- You think I have a machine
for measuring beehives?
71
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:54,049
{\an8}- I was just asking
a question, Toby.
72
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,009
{\an8}How are you not murdered
every hour?
73
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,803
{\an8}- Well, I'm not getting paid
to work in a microwave oven.
74
00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:02,474
{\an8}- Okay, listen,
everything here is up to code.
75
00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:05,268
{\an8}Oh, the wires
need insulation.
76
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:08,563
{\an8}It's a wire, people.
I'm not buying it a fur coat.
77
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,694
{\an8}- Thank you.
- You got it.
78
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:18,073
{\an8}Last week, I finally told Pam
about the other job
79
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:20,283
{\an8}I took in Philly, the side job.
- Thank you.
80
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:23,745
{\an8}- And she was
so incredibly cool about it.
81
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:27,749
{\an8}And now, I just want to do
something huge for her.
82
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:30,043
{\an8}Like if we were
in some biker bar,
83
00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:31,836
{\an8}and she mouthed off
to some bikers,
84
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,422
{\an8}and they came lumbering over,
and I was like, "wham!
85
00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:36,925
{\an8}Gotta go through me first."
86
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:44,683
{\an8}[knocks at door]
87
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:45,809
{\an8}[door clicks open]
88
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,102
{\an8}- Andy, could I have a word, please?
89
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,269
{\an8}Um, it won't take a moment.
90
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,729
{\an8}It's extremely important,
91
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,148
{\an8}and it really has
to happen now.
92
00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:54,359
{\an8}- Fine, I will give you
one minute--
93
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,111
{\an8}- Oh, please, don't use
the hourglass.
94
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:58,238
{\an8}- You have one minute,
and your minute has begun,
95
00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:00,490
{\an8}and no time will be added
at the end,
96
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:02,617
{\an8}even to accommodate
this sentence
97
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:05,245
{\an8}with all of its
baroque-dependent clauses
98
00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:09,332
{\an8}and cascading turns
of phrase.
99
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,126
{\an8}- I'm trying
to adopt a baby.
100
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,462
{\an8}- A baby what?
A human?
101
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:17,173
{\an8}- And the agency require
character reference
102
00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:18,341
{\an8}from my employer.
103
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:19,759
{\an8}- Oh.
104
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:20,969
{\an8}- You won't have
to do anything.
105
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,262
{\an8}I would write
the letter myself.
106
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,222
{\an8}You'd just simply
sign it, so--
107
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:30,020
- Okay, and fall right into your
plagiarism-entrapment scheme?
108
00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:31,938
{\an8}I don't think so.
- It's not--
109
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:35,233
- And I happen to notice you're
down to about 30 seconds here.
110
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:36,735
- Well, then, if I could just
convince you that you--
111
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,445
- And those sand grains
are tumbling with fury down--
112
00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:41,364
- It's not entrapment
if I'm writing--
113
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:42,866
- Time's up.
114
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:45,035
- Fine.
115
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,120
No, that's fine.
I understand.
116
00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:49,372
Orphan children are not
your priority.
117
00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,916
You have money to count,
widows to evict.
118
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,501
- Okay. Hold on a second.
119
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:54,878
[chuckles]
120
00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:57,005
That's not accurate.
121
00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,631
I said I would read it,
and if I like it,
122
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,258
I will sign it.
- Oh.
123
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:01,926
- If I like it.
124
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,179
I am a known orphan lover.
125
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,306
Example: Me and Erin.
126
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:07,724
Time: This morning.
127
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:10,185
Location: My canopy bed.
128
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,440
- Sure, I'll read her letter,
129
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,108
and if she tells the truth
130
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,652
about how evil and unfit
to be a mother she is,
131
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:22,072
then, yeah,
I'll sign that.
132
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:25,200
- "Statistical correlations
exist between EMF radiation
133
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:27,702
"and various health hazards,
134
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:31,081
but mainstream studies
are inconclusive."
135
00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:33,583
That means you can't
make me do squat.
136
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,127
These people are my tenants,
not my children,
137
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:37,962
yet they expect to be
coddled more than I was
138
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,673
by my own mother.
139
00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:41,883
And I always paid her
my rent on time.
140
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,051
- You better fix this.
141
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,386
I already ditched
my uterus,
142
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:45,887
and I ain't losing
any more good parts.
143
00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:47,514
- You people don't realize
what you're asking.
144
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,557
I'd have to rip open
the walls.
145
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,851
I'd have to shut this place
down for a week.
146
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,854
- Week off.
That'd be great.
147
00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:07,909
- Hey, if you don't want
to teach me PowerPoint,
148
00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:09,035
just say so.
149
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:10,412
- I don't want
to teach you PowerPoint.
150
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,288
- Come on.
Just show me PowerPoint.
151
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,832
- Okay, listen.
152
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:16,292
I know Quicken, After Effects,
Photoshop and AutoCAD.
153
00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,044
Which is like the equivalent
of owning a pickup truck.
154
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:19,337
Hey, you free this weekend?
155
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,755
Yeah, man.
Let's hang out.
156
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:21,798
Oh, how about instead
of hanging out,
157
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,174
you design my website?
158
00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:25,635
Just do the tutorial.
- You're the tutorial.
159
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,013
- No, dude, I'm not.
I'm not the tutorial.
160
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,180
- You could be.
- Mm-mm.
161
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:30,265
[microwave chimes]
162
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,768
- What are you doing?
163
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,437
- Getting my wife a week off
from work.
164
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,480
- You popped one kernel.
165
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:38,857
- Awesome, right?
166
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,611
- So creed
is that dude's stepdad?
167
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,822
- Correct.
168
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:48,825
- Well, I don't know
about the rest of you,
169
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:51,494
but I'm just going to say it;
I'm nervous.
170
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,538
I have no idea
what health problems
171
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:54,831
this is all
going to cause.
172
00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,082
- He's right.
- What? Come on.
173
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,500
- I'm getting older.
I'm losing my hair.
174
00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:59,252
- I'm sorry.
- I'm gonna grow a third arm.
175
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:00,962
- I know what Jim
is trying to do.
176
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,172
He's trying to get
big, bad Dwight
177
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,923
to shell out
for a huge repair job,
178
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,176
while lucky Jimbo gets
a paid vacation.
179
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,219
Well, sorry, lucky Jimbo,
180
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:10,388
I can live very happily
in a magnetic field.
181
00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:13,516
Most of my childhood heroes
got their powers that way.
182
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,394
- Side effects of EMF
include headaches--
183
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:17,854
- Had them all my life.
184
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,647
- Breast pain--
185
00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:22,025
- No nobbies, no probbies.
Nice try, Jim.
186
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,985
- Oof.
Infertility.
187
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:26,196
- [scoffs]
188
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,739
Yeah, right.
189
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:38,667
- Ah, there's my popcorn.
Can you just grab that for me?
190
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:41,920
- Keep your snacks
on your side, Jim, idiot.
191
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:45,924
What the--?
- What?
192
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,550
- Some of these kernels
have crowned.
193
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:50,011
- That's impossible
'cause that's a brand-new bag.
194
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:54,599
Oh, my God.
195
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,687
- Andy!
196
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,441
- I'm sorry.
197
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:06,695
It was almost too easy.
198
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,405
I'm going to drive you
up to the lake,
199
00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:09,781
give you a whole week
on the water,
200
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:11,700
just you, me,
and the kids.
201
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,785
- Oh, can we stop
by that pie stand on the way?
202
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:16,371
- You mean, "Laverne's Pies,
tires fixed also"? Yes.
203
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,415
We will be doing that,
and we'll be getting a dozen.
204
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,250
- A dozen different pies?
'cause that means rhubarb.
205
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:21,584
- Why would you say that?
206
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,003
I meant four apple,
four blueberry,
207
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,546
two cherry, one peach,
one chocolate.
208
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:25,880
I thought
that was implied.
209
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,507
- Yeah, okay, then.
[door opening]
210
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,634
- Ladies and gentlemen,
I have heard your complaints,
211
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:33,013
and we reached
a settlement.
212
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,389
It was me versus Dwight
in there,
213
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,141
and I kicked his ass.
214
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:40,020
Basically, I threatened to sue,
but I was bluffing.
215
00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:41,604
You got Nard Dogged.
216
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,231
[imitates blows landing]
217
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,733
That is a reality show
waiting to happen.
218
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:46,443
- Inconclusive.
219
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:49,195
Paranoia.
220
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,739
So...
221
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,116
we will be leaving the office
for one whole week.
222
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,118
- Nice job.
223
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:57,203
- In my contract,
it is stipulated
224
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,247
that I provide
a temporary work space.
225
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,665
It will arrive
in one hour.
226
00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:02,334
- What?
227
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,668
- What's this?
- Oh!
228
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,378
- What?
- Bring it in.
229
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:08,214
Roll into the future
with work bus.
230
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:10,884
Say goodbye
to wasteful buildings.
231
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:12,177
These days,
a mobile office
232
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:14,220
isn't just
for hotshot politicians.
233
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,014
Now anyone can rent
a work bus.
234
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:17,766
If you've got
a parking lot,
235
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,976
a work space is just
a phone call away.
236
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,436
In this age
237
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,813
of belt-tightening
and less-empowered workers,
238
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:27,400
a work bus is how
tomorrow gets things done.
239
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,114
- They're 100 pack, 5 pound--
240
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,157
- No 6 after the 8.
- Shh!
241
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,533
- Shh!
242
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,118
- Guys, do you need any more
of those forms?
243
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,161
- Uh, no. I can pass them.
- Oh, okay.
244
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,246
- I think that's all.
245
00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:41,498
But thanks.
246
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:42,791
- Oh.
247
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,125
Ah.
248
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,134
- [clears throat]
249
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:55,011
- I got--okay.
I can help you do this.
250
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,304
[clang]
251
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:57,305
[coughs]
252
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,348
- Shh!
253
00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,933
[overlapping chatter]
254
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,267
- [screams]
- Oh, sorry about that.
255
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:02,686
- Oh, my God!
256
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:03,937
- Oops. Sorry.
257
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:05,397
- Lose weight.
258
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,273
- I'm trying.
Sorry.
259
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,778
- Ah.
260
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:13,154
- The Pennsylvania Department
of Public Welfare
261
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,614
Pre-adoption Standard.
262
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:17,575
- Oh, of course,
you were adopted.
263
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,619
- [scoffs]
I wish.
264
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:22,997
No, I made some short lists,
I had a couple sleepovers,
265
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:26,209
but I never managed to get
in the end-zone.
266
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,420
I don't know what it was.
267
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,088
Not lovable, maybe.
[laughs]
268
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,631
Oh, well.
269
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:33,675
- Listen, I'm really struggling
with this form.
270
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,261
But as you know the system,
do you think maybe you could--
271
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,221
- Absolutely, I know exactly
what they want to hear.
272
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,389
I would--
I would love to help.
273
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:42,100
- Oh, thank you so much.
274
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,310
- [whispering]
Just don't tell Andy because--
275
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:45,645
- He hates me.
- And--
276
00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:46,938
- Thinks I'm a monster.
- That--
277
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,606
- Should go back to Loch Ness.
278
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:59,534
- Erin's a very supportive,
very nurturing person.
279
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,953
And she reminds me
of my mother.
280
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,706
I mean, I'm not attracted
to my mother.
281
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:06,708
So...
282
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,294
I mean, I'm not
attracted to Erin.
283
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:10,920
[chuckles]
284
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,297
[clears throat]
285
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:15,759
- Stretch.
All right.
286
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,595
- How many times do you need
to take a stroll?
287
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:21,848
- I--my legs cramp up, okay?
It's a circulation issue.
288
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,308
- Boy, I will hammer-spank
your rear.
289
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,976
- All right,
all right, gang.
290
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:26,561
Let's just settle down.
You're yelling in her face.
291
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,146
- It's a medical thing.
292
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:29,522
- Just--you good?
293
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:32,150
- I'm good. I--
- [sighs]
294
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,361
I'm so sorry
for all of this.
295
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:36,654
- It's okay.
296
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:40,075
You know what they say,
a change is as good as a rest.
297
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,743
- I--I need to get
to the paper, please.
298
00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:42,744
- Sorry.
299
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:43,995
- Oh, God!
300
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,288
- Oh, oh, my God!
- Okay--
301
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:46,706
- Ah!
- I'll get you a napkin.
302
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,458
Can someone get napkins, please?
303
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,418
- You know what, it's fine.
It's fine, let me just--
304
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,628
it's fine.
305
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,756
- Pam, I'm really sorry.
I just--
306
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:56,883
I'm--I'm really sorry
about all that.
307
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:02,597
Really?
Smirking?
308
00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:04,808
- What can I say?
I love justice.
309
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:07,018
You forced me to spend money
on needless repairs,
310
00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:09,104
and now you're locked
in a prison bus,
311
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:11,356
and your woman drips
with beverage.
312
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,149
- Hey, Dwight, I was trying
to do something nice for Pam.
313
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,193
Can you just help me out?
314
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:17,487
Can we maybe take
this thing somewhere,
315
00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:19,781
or do something to not make
this the worst day ever?
316
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,575
- It's not my responsibility
to solve your marriage problems
317
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:25,954
by spending my money
on gas.
318
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,332
- Andy!
319
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:30,709
- Yo!
Toonces.
320
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,127
- You're the boss.
321
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,586
Don't you think we'd all be
a lot more productive
322
00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:35,505
if while we were doing work,
we looked up and saw
323
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:38,091
the best rural pie stand
in Pennsylvania?
324
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,093
- Ooh, I know
I'd be more productive.
325
00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:41,928
- As would I.
- No question.
326
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:44,389
- No! No!
This is a work bus.
327
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,516
The wheels are for transporting
the work space
328
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,268
to and from the work site.
329
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:49,602
- What are you
talking about?
330
00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:52,147
You're not the boss, Andy is.
Andy?
331
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:55,984
all: Pies, pies, pies,
pies, pies, pies.
332
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,986
- All right!
333
00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:00,780
The fat people have spoken.
334
00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:02,991
Dwight,
get this bus moving.
335
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:05,910
[all cheering and clapping]
336
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:09,164
- Next stop, Laverne's Pies,
tires fixed also.
337
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,166
- Oh, yes!
338
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:12,500
[all cheering and clapping]
339
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:15,503
- Yeah, Jim!
340
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,005
- So it looks
like this work bus
341
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:19,507
was a pretty good idea
after all, huh?
342
00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,384
- Get your foot
behind the yellow line.
343
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,636
- You got it.
344
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,348
[applause]
- Yeah, Jim!
345
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,108
- Stop.
- Come back.
346
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,943
- Too late.
- Mm.
347
00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:40,236
Oh.
348
00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:41,905
So you ready to teach
me PowerPoint?
349
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,865
- Nope.
- I'll take that as a yes.
350
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,283
- Why can't we just play
video games?
351
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,369
- We can play PowerPoint.
352
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,456
- I would really, really
like to help Darryl.
353
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:54,209
But I would also really, really
like to not do anything.
354
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,087
So it's a tough call.
355
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,632
all: ? Shabooya roll call,
shabooya-ya-ya ?
356
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:02,008
? Shabooya roll call ?
357
00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:02,967
- ? My name is Pam ?
all: ? Yeah ?
358
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:04,552
- ? I like to paint ?
359
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,429
all: ? Yeah ?
- ? You think you're better? ?
360
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:07,889
all: ? Yeah ?
- ? Oh, no, you ain't ?
361
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:08,848
all: ? Roll call ?
362
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,684
? Shabooya-ya-ya ?
363
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:13,770
? Shabooya roll call,
shabooya-ya-ya ?
364
00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:15,689
? Shabooya roll call ?
365
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:17,607
- Jim taught them
a driving song
366
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,150
built around a nonsense word.
367
00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:20,402
Nonsense.
368
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,195
A word that makes no sense.
369
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:23,905
On purpose!
370
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,741
If you can't see what's wrong
with that, I can't help you.
371
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:28,535
all: ? Shabooya-ya-ya,
shabooya roll call ?
372
00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:30,328
- ? My name is Kevin ?
- ? Yeah ?
373
00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:32,122
- ? That is my name ?
- ? Yeah ?
374
00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,165
- ? They call me Kevin ?
- ? Yeah ?
375
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:36,167
- ? 'Cause that's my name ?
all: ? Roll call ?
376
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:39,754
? Shabooya-ya-ya
shabooya roll call ?
377
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:43,049
? Shabooya-ya-ya
shabooya roll call ?
378
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,759
- ? My name is Oscar ?
- ? Yeah ?
379
00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:46,386
- ? Why am I here? ?
- ? Yeah ?
380
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,096
- ? I've clearly chosen ?
- ? Yeah ?
381
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:50,056
- ? The wrong career ?
- ? Roll call! ?
382
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:53,226
? Shabooya-ya-ya
shabooya roll call ?
383
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,396
? Shabooya-ya-ya
shabooya roll call ?
384
00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:58,314
- ? My name is Phyllis ?
- ? Yeah ?
385
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,233
? I'm married to Bob ?
- ? Yeah ?
386
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,027
- Let's see, uh...
- ? Yeah ?
387
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,279
- I like television!
[laughs]
388
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:05,989
I don't know.
I'm not very good at this.
389
00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,365
- ? Roll call! ?
390
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,826
? Shabooya-ya-ya
shabooya roll call ?
391
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:11,244
- Dwight, your turn!
392
00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:12,871
- I'm not doing it.
- ? Yeah ?
393
00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:14,914
- You're wasting your time.
- ? Yeah ?
394
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:17,292
- No. This doesn't count.
- ? Yeah ?
395
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,252
- I will not rhyme.
396
00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:21,087
Damn it.
- ? Roll call! ?
397
00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:24,049
? Shabooya-ya-ya
shabooya roll call ?
398
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:25,675
- ? My name is Andy ?
- ? Yeah ?
399
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,302
? Can't see through the fog ?
- ? Yeah ?
400
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:28,970
- ? Can you see? ?
- ? Yeah ?
401
00:15:29,054 --> 00:15:30,764
? The Nard Dog! ?
- ? Roll call! ?
402
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:33,933
? Shabooya-ya-ya
shabooya roll call ?
403
00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:35,977
[indistinct chatter]
404
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:37,270
- Oh, you guys.
405
00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:38,855
You guys, check this guy out.
- What?
406
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,565
- [jeering]
407
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:41,900
- Nice.
- Oh!
408
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:43,151
- Yeah, Meredith.
409
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:44,652
- Dwight, Dwight,
catch up with him!
410
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:45,737
Catch up with him!
- Yeah, yeah, Dwight!
411
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:47,364
Catch up!
- Oh!
412
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,656
Oh!
- Oh, my God!
413
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:49,949
- Oh, jeez.
414
00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:51,326
- [cackles]
415
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:52,952
- We're gonna get arrested.
- Oh.
416
00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:54,162
- Meredith.
417
00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:13,473
- Thanks.
418
00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:15,767
Playing a little hooky
from work today.
419
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,353
[sighs]
420
00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:19,771
Oh, my God.
421
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:24,109
- Dunder Mifflin
road trip 2012!
422
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,193
[camera shutter clicks]
423
00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:27,362
Okay, now a serious one.
424
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,615
- Hey, where's Dwight?
He should be a part of this.
425
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:35,161
Has he been acting
kind of weird to you lately?
426
00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:37,747
- If by "lately," you mean
for the last 12 years, yeah.
427
00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:39,582
- No, I mean, he's sulking.
That's not like him.
428
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,626
- He's just mad
that we're all having fun.
429
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,045
- Then why isn't he scheming
or preparing to avenge?
430
00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:48,383
- He's fine.
He's indestructible.
431
00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:52,804
- Always say that a child
is placed for adoption,
432
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:55,098
never surrendered.
433
00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:56,850
We're not hostages.
434
00:16:56,933 --> 00:17:00,228
- [chuckles] Although I have
considered kidnapping one.
435
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,230
- Oh,
and never say that.
436
00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:06,609
I am so excited
thinking about this child
437
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,236
you're going to adopt.
438
00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:09,779
- I wish I could just wave
a magic wand
439
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:12,115
and make you a parentless
five-year-old again.
440
00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:13,867
I would snap you up.
441
00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:15,076
- Oh.
442
00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:18,913
Hey.
443
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:35,013
- I couldn't help overhearing.
444
00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:37,932
Are you planning a kidnapping?
445
00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:39,976
- Um, yeah.
446
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,811
You wanna drive getaway?
447
00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:43,480
- That depends.
448
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,523
Who are we snatchin'?
449
00:17:45,607 --> 00:17:47,108
- Rupert Murdoch.
450
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,485
His parents are loaded.
451
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,028
- I was kidding.
452
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,364
I'm an undercover cop,
and I'm taking you in.
453
00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:53,990
- Well, joke's on you,
undercover cop,
454
00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:55,617
because this is all
just a dream,
455
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,118
and, oops,
you're late for school.
456
00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:59,412
- Oh, Mom. [inhales sharply]
457
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,581
You should have
woken me sooner.
458
00:18:10,382 --> 00:18:12,425
- So you're thinking
of adopting.
459
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,014
- Um...
460
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,808
I'm--I'm trying.
461
00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:21,768
- I, too, am longing
for offspring.
462
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,607
- Let's agree that no matter
how desperate we both become,
463
00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:28,858
we'll never have
a child together.
464
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:30,568
- I'd like that.
465
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,741
- Next stop, pies.
466
00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:38,368
[chants]
Next stop, pies!
467
00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:41,705
all: [chanting] Next stop,
pies, next stop, pies!
468
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,581
- Let's go, driver!
469
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:46,793
Laverne packs up the pie wagon
at 5:00, so--
470
00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:47,961
- At 5:00?
471
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,963
That's only 20 minutes
from now.
472
00:18:50,005 --> 00:18:52,757
The pie shop
is 13 miles away.
473
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,926
So at 55 miles an hour,
474
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:57,554
that just gives us
5 minutes to spare.
475
00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:59,389
- So, wait,
when pies are involved,
476
00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:01,349
you can suddenly do math
in your head?
477
00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:06,730
- Hold on, Kevin,
how much is 19,154 pies
478
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:09,232
divided by 61 pies?
479
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:11,026
- 314 pies.
480
00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:15,113
- What if it were salads?
481
00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:18,366
- Well, it's the--
482
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,202
carry the four and the--
483
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,329
it doesn't work.
484
00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:25,665
- I'm sorry to spoil Jim's
fantastic voyage, everyone,
485
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,042
but we're almost out of gas.
486
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,002
- Okay, well, I saw a station
about a mile back,
487
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:30,503
so chop, chop.
488
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:33,006
- That name brand place?
No, forget about it, sorry.
489
00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:35,967
The tanks are so big on
this thing, 5� a gallon extra?
490
00:19:36,051 --> 00:19:37,135
It really adds up.
491
00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:38,470
- Are you kidding me?
492
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,221
Dwight, come on.
- Hey.
493
00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:41,514
Honey, I don't think
we should push him.
494
00:19:41,556 --> 00:19:42,766
- Oh, no,
I'm going to push him.
495
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,642
You know why?
Because you are getting a pie.
496
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,102
Why?
'cause you deserve it.
497
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:47,645
And what is he doing?
498
00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,022
He's trying to drive us all
around the countryside,
499
00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:51,066
looking for gas because he
knows we won't get there.
500
00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:52,025
Is that what we want?
501
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:53,526
all: No!
502
00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:55,362
- Stop ordering me around,
Jim!
503
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,238
- What do we want?
all: Pies!
504
00:19:57,322 --> 00:19:58,365
- When do we want it?
505
00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:00,575
all: Pies!
- Okay, fine.
506
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:05,497
You win, Jim.
You win.
507
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:06,748
We have been battling
for a long time,
508
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:08,458
but, you know what,
you win.
509
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:09,876
'cause you are the winner,
you are the alpha male.
510
00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:11,127
There you go.
511
00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:12,712
Alpha male,
go buy your wife a pie.
512
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,130
Go buy
the whole world a pie.
513
00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:15,423
- That's impossible.
514
00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:18,635
- Oh, no!
- Dwight!
515
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:19,719
- What are you doing?
- Dwight!
516
00:20:19,803 --> 00:20:20,970
- What the hell?
- Whoa, Dwight.
517
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,681
- Dwight.
518
00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:24,140
- What?
519
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:27,644
- Well, now I don't even
feel like pie.
520
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,646
Wait.
521
00:20:29,688 --> 00:20:30,939
No, it's back.
522
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:37,487
[footsteps on the roof]
- Oh, just drive away, just--
523
00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:38,988
- Phyllis,
that's not safe.
524
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:41,282
- Guys, we only have
18 minutes left.
525
00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:44,577
At 61 miles an hour, we're just
going to barely make it.
526
00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:46,871
- Kevin, if there were
a 24 Hour Fitness
527
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:49,499
next to the pie stand, how long
will it take us to get there?
528
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:53,044
- Well, 24 times the--
529
00:20:53,128 --> 00:20:55,588
fit--mm.
I don't know.
530
00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:57,966
- Jim, go up and check on him.
H's upset.
531
00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,592
- You know
he's doing all this on purpose.
532
00:20:59,634 --> 00:21:01,511
- Please, just make sure
he's okay.
533
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,096
- [sighs]
534
00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,806
- Hurry it up,
for God's sake.
535
00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,516
They're going to be
out of banana cream.
536
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:07,809
- Banana cream's
the first to go.
537
00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:08,893
We'd be lucky to get pumpkin
at this point.
538
00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:10,395
- [gasps] What?
539
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:16,943
- Hey, how do I get
this picture
540
00:21:17,027 --> 00:21:19,320
of these two hands shaking
into this text box?
541
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:21,322
- It--it's not that I don't
like helping people.
542
00:21:21,364 --> 00:21:22,907
It's just...
543
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,619
No, actually, I don't
like helping people.
544
00:21:26,745 --> 00:21:28,121
All right. Well,
what are you trying to do?
545
00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:29,539
You're trying to--
- Learn PowerPoint.
546
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,458
- No. You're trying to--
547
00:21:31,583 --> 00:21:33,543
- Move a pic
of two hands shaking.
548
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:34,627
- Okay. Right.
549
00:21:34,753 --> 00:21:37,589
But first you want to co...
550
00:21:37,672 --> 00:21:39,174
- Co...
551
00:21:39,257 --> 00:21:43,011
- Co...
- Co...
552
00:21:43,094 --> 00:21:44,721
- Co...
- Co...
553
00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:46,348
- ? Co ?
554
00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:47,557
- No harmonizing.
555
00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:48,975
- ? Co ?
556
00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:50,352
- py
- Pee?
557
00:21:50,435 --> 00:21:51,561
- Copy and paste.
558
00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:52,729
- Copy and paste.
- Yeah.
559
00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:53,897
- Copy and paste!
560
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:55,857
Oh, those two guys again.
561
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:57,317
Now it's a party.
562
00:21:57,442 --> 00:21:59,235
Let's get some jigsaw wipes
in here,
563
00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:00,779
really get this thing bumpin'.
564
00:22:00,904 --> 00:22:02,280
Paste.
- Mm-hmm.
565
00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:04,407
- Oomp. There it is.
566
00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:07,702
? Mad multimedia skills
in the hizzy house ?
567
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:10,205
? Good God, y'all,
Microsoft whoo! ?
568
00:22:10,288 --> 00:22:12,374
Ah! [laughs]
569
00:22:12,457 --> 00:22:13,792
I got it, right?
570
00:22:13,917 --> 00:22:15,126
Is that right?
- That's right.
571
00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:16,211
- That's right.
- Sure did.
572
00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:17,379
- It pasted.
- Pasted like a champion.
573
00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:18,630
- Okay.
574
00:22:18,713 --> 00:22:20,715
- You out of breath now?
- Little bit.
575
00:22:22,008 --> 00:22:23,593
- Dwight?
576
00:22:23,635 --> 00:22:25,345
Why are you such a jerk?
577
00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:28,139
I'm trying to do something
for my wife, and you keep--
578
00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:30,308
- I'm barren, Jim.
579
00:22:30,392 --> 00:22:31,559
- What?
580
00:22:31,685 --> 00:22:33,895
- My trouser hives
are void of honey.
581
00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:36,981
I had congress with Angela,
and the child that she bore
582
00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:39,234
did not issue
from my loins.
583
00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:42,445
Thought I would be a father,
and instead I am a eunuch,
584
00:22:42,487 --> 00:22:46,199
neutered
by my own building.
585
00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:49,452
- Is this about the popcorn,
or the "x" on the ceiling?
586
00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:52,038
Dwight, that was a prank.
587
00:22:52,163 --> 00:22:53,915
- You mean
you flooded my building
588
00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:56,501
with dangerous electromagnetic
radiation as a prank?
589
00:22:56,584 --> 00:22:58,044
- No.
- That's genius.
590
00:22:58,128 --> 00:22:59,337
That's the best prank
you've ever done.
591
00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:00,922
- I'll take it.
592
00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:07,095
- Andy?
- Who is it?
593
00:23:07,178 --> 00:23:09,431
- Um, is this a good time?
- Yeah.
594
00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:12,767
Perfect time, right in
the middle of a rooftop crisis.
595
00:23:12,892 --> 00:23:15,145
Fine, yeah, let me read it.
What do we have here?
596
00:23:15,228 --> 00:23:16,438
Okay--
597
00:23:16,479 --> 00:23:19,357
[vocalizing]
598
00:23:19,399 --> 00:23:21,192
you've made this very easy
for me.
599
00:23:21,234 --> 00:23:23,028
It's unsignable.
600
00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:26,281
- Oh.
What, is there something--?
601
00:23:26,364 --> 00:23:30,285
- It's inaccurate, dishonest,
and, in a word, dong-water.
602
00:23:30,368 --> 00:23:32,370
- Oh, well, perhaps
I could reword some of it--
603
00:23:32,495 --> 00:23:33,538
- Here's the thing.
604
00:23:33,663 --> 00:23:34,998
You asked me
to do you a favor,
605
00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:37,042
I did it,
I read it.
606
00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:40,545
Thank you very much to me
for my time.
607
00:23:40,587 --> 00:23:42,297
Good luck
with your impossible dream.
608
00:23:44,841 --> 00:23:45,800
- All right, then.
609
00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:57,520
- Dwight, sometimes
it takes couples
610
00:23:57,562 --> 00:23:58,855
years to get pregnant.
611
00:23:58,980 --> 00:24:01,524
- Really? How long did it take
you and Pam to conceive?
612
00:24:01,608 --> 00:24:02,776
- That doesn't matter.
613
00:24:02,859 --> 00:24:04,069
- What position
did you use to conceive,
614
00:24:04,152 --> 00:24:05,653
regular
or lady-on-her-back?
615
00:24:05,779 --> 00:24:07,697
You used lady-on-her-back,
didn't you, freak?
616
00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:09,366
Yuck, gross.
Never mind, Jim.
617
00:24:09,491 --> 00:24:12,660
- [crying]
618
00:24:14,496 --> 00:24:17,665
[sobbing]
619
00:24:20,168 --> 00:24:22,671
- British women,
famously over-emotional,
620
00:24:22,754 --> 00:24:25,131
am I right?
621
00:24:25,215 --> 00:24:27,008
- I don't think
that's Nellie.
622
00:24:27,050 --> 00:24:29,636
- What?
- Oh.
623
00:24:29,719 --> 00:24:32,097
Oh, no, no, no.
Look, it's all right.
624
00:24:32,180 --> 00:24:34,641
Really,
it isn't your fault.
625
00:24:34,724 --> 00:24:38,645
No, no. It's--
you were so kind,
626
00:24:38,728 --> 00:24:40,355
and it isn't anything
to do with you.
627
00:24:42,190 --> 00:24:44,526
- Did you ever think that
because you own the building,
628
00:24:44,609 --> 00:24:46,611
everyone in it,
629
00:24:46,695 --> 00:24:48,363
we're all kind of like
your children.
630
00:24:48,488 --> 00:24:51,074
- You know, there's a phrase
about that in German,
631
00:24:51,199 --> 00:24:52,492
bilden-kinder,
632
00:24:52,575 --> 00:24:54,953
used almost exclusively
by childless landlords
633
00:24:55,036 --> 00:24:57,622
to console themselves,
but now,
634
00:24:57,706 --> 00:25:00,291
I really understand it.
635
00:25:00,375 --> 00:25:04,587
- Well, now you have a bus full
of real building-kinder.
636
00:25:04,671 --> 00:25:06,256
- Bilden-kinder.
- Okay.
637
00:25:06,381 --> 00:25:10,719
And they're all dangerously
close to not getting pie.
638
00:25:10,802 --> 00:25:13,179
And there's only one guy
who can save them.
639
00:25:13,263 --> 00:25:14,639
It's not me.
640
00:25:14,764 --> 00:25:16,099
- I agree.
- Oh!
641
00:25:16,182 --> 00:25:18,059
- Oh.
642
00:25:18,143 --> 00:25:19,728
Hey, how did it go?
643
00:25:19,811 --> 00:25:20,854
- It was pretty good, actually.
- Yeah?
644
00:25:20,979 --> 00:25:22,272
- We bonded,
we got to t--
645
00:25:22,355 --> 00:25:23,523
- Oh!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
646
00:25:23,648 --> 00:25:25,066
- Dwight, Dwight!
- Dwight!
647
00:25:25,150 --> 00:25:26,776
- That's what happens when
you don't get out of the way.
648
00:25:26,901 --> 00:25:29,487
Out of the way!
649
00:25:29,612 --> 00:25:31,156
- You feel okay now?
650
00:25:31,239 --> 00:25:32,282
- Oh, better than okay.
651
00:25:32,365 --> 00:25:33,742
And you know what, honey?
652
00:25:33,867 --> 00:25:35,702
I'm going to get you
that rhubarb pie.
653
00:25:35,785 --> 00:25:37,120
- Well, actually,
rhubarb
654
00:25:37,245 --> 00:25:38,288
is the one pie that I don't--
- Don't, don't.
655
00:25:38,371 --> 00:25:39,581
- Everybody, hang on!
656
00:25:39,664 --> 00:25:40,915
[engine turns over]
657
00:25:40,999 --> 00:25:42,417
[all scream]
658
00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:44,919
[tires screech]
659
00:25:47,172 --> 00:25:49,758
[all scream]
660
00:25:51,509 --> 00:25:54,512
all: Pie, pie, pie,
pie, pie, pie!
661
00:25:54,554 --> 00:25:58,350
[all cheering]
662
00:25:58,433 --> 00:26:00,226
- Jim, take the wheel!
- What?
663
00:26:00,268 --> 00:26:02,437
Why? What?
- Just take the wheel!
664
00:26:05,482 --> 00:26:07,233
- What are you doing?
Are you insane?
665
00:26:07,275 --> 00:26:08,526
You're gonna get killed!
- Don't worry about me!
666
00:26:08,651 --> 00:26:09,819
Take care of them!
667
00:26:09,903 --> 00:26:12,280
Get! Them! Pies!
668
00:26:14,032 --> 00:26:17,827
[Dwight shouting]
- Dwight!
669
00:26:17,911 --> 00:26:20,121
- Don't close that stand!
670
00:26:20,205 --> 00:26:22,082
Ow.
671
00:26:22,165 --> 00:26:23,750
Ow.
672
00:26:23,875 --> 00:26:25,335
Ow.
673
00:26:25,418 --> 00:26:27,545
[grunts]
674
00:26:27,629 --> 00:26:30,465
Ow.
- Thanks, Dwight.
675
00:26:30,590 --> 00:26:33,677
Ow. Ah.
676
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,804
Ow. I rolled on a rock.
677
00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:46,231
- Oh.
678
00:26:46,356 --> 00:26:47,899
- I changed my mind.
679
00:26:47,982 --> 00:26:50,193
- Oh, you signed it?
- Yeah.
680
00:26:50,318 --> 00:26:53,196
Not as is, obviously.
681
00:26:53,279 --> 00:26:54,406
Made a couple of changes,
682
00:26:54,489 --> 00:26:56,324
added some sentences
at the end.
683
00:26:57,701 --> 00:27:00,412
Trust me,
it needed it.
684
00:27:00,537 --> 00:27:02,288
But, yeah, whatever.
685
00:27:02,372 --> 00:27:03,665
It's--
686
00:27:09,379 --> 00:27:11,089
- "She's tough in business,
but tender
687
00:27:11,172 --> 00:27:12,716
"with the people
she cares about.
688
00:27:12,799 --> 00:27:15,093
"She'll make a wonderful mother
to any child
689
00:27:15,218 --> 00:27:17,679
who can overlook
weird accents."
690
00:27:24,144 --> 00:27:26,229
- Mmm.
691
00:27:26,354 --> 00:27:29,274
Pie was so good.
- Mm.
692
00:27:29,315 --> 00:27:32,110
- Do I have any cherry
in my teeth?
693
00:27:32,235 --> 00:27:33,820
- No. You're good.
694
00:27:33,903 --> 00:27:35,238
All set.
695
00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:36,448
- Cool.
696
00:27:42,954 --> 00:27:44,497
- [groans, spits]
697
00:27:44,581 --> 00:27:46,332
Ugh. Oh.
698
00:27:46,416 --> 00:27:47,834
God.
699
00:27:51,421 --> 00:27:55,133
- I insult you, Oscar.
- What?
700
00:27:55,216 --> 00:27:58,678
- I insult you
to your face.
701
00:27:58,762 --> 00:28:00,680
- I don't know
what you're talking about.
702
00:28:00,764 --> 00:28:03,600
- Then why don't you
do something about it?
703
00:28:03,683 --> 00:28:05,643
- Kevin, are you trying
to get me to hit you
704
00:28:05,769 --> 00:28:07,270
in the face
with my pie?
705
00:28:07,354 --> 00:28:09,356
- You don't have
the guts.
706
00:28:09,439 --> 00:28:14,402
You stupid, dumb,
doo-doo face.
707
00:28:20,825 --> 00:28:23,203
Yes!
708
00:28:23,286 --> 00:28:26,331
- Oh, my God.
I'm getting so stuffed.
709
00:28:30,669 --> 00:28:32,504
- We did it.
710
00:28:32,545 --> 00:28:33,880
- You did it.
711
00:28:44,474 --> 00:28:45,767
- ? My name is Andy ?
all: ? Yeah ?
712
00:28:45,809 --> 00:28:47,686
- ? I don't do drugs ?
all: ? Yeah ?
713
00:28:47,769 --> 00:28:49,437
- ? Now, check the style ?
all: ? Yeah ?
714
00:28:49,604 --> 00:28:52,023
- ? Of Flatt and Scruggs ?
all: ? Yeah ?
715
00:28:52,190 --> 00:28:54,943
[banjo music playing]
716
00:28:55,068 --> 00:29:01,574
? ?
717
00:29:06,037 --> 00:29:06,955
all: [murmuring]
Roll call.
718
00:29:07,038 --> 00:29:07,997
- Roll call.
719
00:29:08,039 --> 00:29:09,499
- Roll call.
720
00:29:09,541 --> 00:29:10,542
- Roll call.
721
00:29:10,625 --> 00:29:11,793
- What?
722
00:29:11,843 --> 00:29:16,393
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