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1
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:14,014
- Andy's coming back today.
2
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:16,474
Andy's coming back today.
Ha!
3
00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:20,061
Andy's coming back today.
4
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:22,230
David wallace sent him
on an outward-bound
5
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,065
wilderness adventure
for a whole month
6
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:25,650
to make him more decisive
and confident.
7
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,069
He sent his own son too.
8
00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,655
And the counselor said
they both grew up big-time.
9
00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:37,620
- How was my summer?
It was pretty mixed.
10
00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:40,373
I invented a new power drink
made of beet run-off.
11
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:45,086
Mmm. Mmm!
So that's really good.
12
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:46,755
But I got some disappointing
medical news.
13
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,092
- Mr. Schrute,
the results are in.
14
00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:53,720
You're not the father.
- I told you.
15
00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:59,309
Oh, god!
Oh, my god!
16
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,936
- Oh, what a summer.
17
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:04,189
An emotional roller coaster.
18
00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:06,941
I ran over a turtle
in the parking lot.
19
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,360
[whimpering]
20
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:13,281
But then I saved him by gluing
his shell back together.
21
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,700
But I'm not that good
at puzzles...
22
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,327
- Oh, that piece doesn't
go there.
23
00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:18,995
- Shh.
24
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:23,208
So I patched him with stuff
from around the office.
25
00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:26,503
But I couldn't get
the pieces to fit right.
26
00:01:26,544 --> 00:01:30,882
Then, one day, while I was
reaching for the glue,
27
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:33,551
I crushed his shell again.
28
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:37,472
But I rebuilt him even better
that time.
29
00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:43,812
But it turned out
the turtle was already dead.
30
00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:47,899
Probably when I ran over him
the first time.
31
00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:51,903
- For us, um...
nothing new, really.
32
00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:52,946
The kids are great.
33
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,364
- You are really good
at modesty.
34
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,449
She's a genius. She painted
this incredible mural
35
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,034
in the kids' room.
36
00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,452
There's a hippo leading
a parade of 500 children--
37
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,871
- Okay, well, you had
that interesting thing.
38
00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:03,373
- Oh... yeah.
39
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:05,917
- Yes, Jim's friend
is starting a new company
40
00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:07,627
based on this idea
that Jim had
41
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,004
when they were
back in college.
42
00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:10,797
- It's sports marketing,
basically,
43
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,340
but the athletes
are partners.
44
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,009
- And he wanted Jim
to be a partner too.
45
00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:16,553
- In Philly, so...
that doesn't really work
46
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:18,346
for the family.
47
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:21,558
But watch this guy make
a billion dollars off my idea.
48
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:23,601
- He said if it takes off,
he's gonna buy us a new car.
49
00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:25,895
- An Altima or better.
50
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,064
- Kelly Kapoor is gone.
51
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:31,276
Her fianc�, Ravi, was hired
as a pediatrics professor
52
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:32,861
at Miami University.
53
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:34,821
- I don't need 'em anymore.
54
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:37,407
I am going to Miami,
bee-yotches,
55
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:40,535
to hang with Lebron James
and Gloria Estefan.
56
00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:44,330
- Miami University in Ohio.
57
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:45,665
On her last day, Kelly was
still a little
58
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,334
confused about it.
59
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:52,172
- Enjoy the snow, losers.
- I'm so happy for you, Kelly.
60
00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:54,591
- Shortly after Kelly left,
Ryan quit
61
00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:57,385
and also moved to Ohio,
62
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,262
for what he claimed were
unrelated reasons.
63
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:01,222
- I've actually done a lot
of market research,
64
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,224
and it turns out
that southwestern Ohio
65
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:05,185
is going to be
the next Silicon Valley.
66
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,228
They call it
the Silicon Prairie.
67
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:12,692
It's a big university town,
and, uh...
68
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:14,861
it's not garbage,
it's my clothes.
69
00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:19,783
- And that was our summer.
70
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:23,036
- We good?
- Yeah. Thanks.
71
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,496
- Don't you guys have
everything?
72
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:27,374
I mean, it's just
a paper company.
73
00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:29,459
- Well, we're more
following you guys
74
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,086
to see how you turn out.
75
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,837
- Oh, yeah, I guess we were
76
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:35,131
kind of dramatic
in the beginning.
77
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:39,219
Well, I don't think anything's
gonna change in our lives now.
78
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:41,221
With work and two kids,
there's just--
79
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,181
nothing interesting's
gonna happen to us
80
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:46,601
for a long, long time.
81
00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:53,358
{\an8}[cheerful music]
82
00:03:53,441 --> 00:04:00,448
{\an8}? ?
83
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:15,422
{\an8}- Andy's coming back today.
84
00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:17,382
{\an8}- Hey, uh,
does anybody know
85
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,466
{\an8}where we throw these out?
86
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:20,093
{\an8}- Oh, my god.
87
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,846
{\an8}It's called a garbage can.
- Helpless.
88
00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:25,682
{\an8}- There's two new guys
back there with me now.
89
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,685
{\an8}They're in their 20s,
and we really get along.
90
00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:31,021
{\an8}- Looking good.
91
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:34,774
{\an8}- Just three single guys...
getting into trouble.
92
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,693
{\an8}- They're like the new
Jim and Dwight.
93
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:39,154
{\an8}- [chuckles]
94
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:42,240
{\an8}- Oh, yes, yes.
I see that. Perfect.
95
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:44,909
{\an8}- Hey, new Jim,
come sit on my face.
96
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:48,455
{\an8}- No, thank you.
My name's Pete.
97
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:52,167
{\an8}- No, Pete is not
the new Jim.
98
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:53,460
{\an8}The only thing
we have in common is that
99
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:56,171
{\an8}neither of us wants to sit
on Meredith's face.
100
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,881
{\an8}And if that makes him
the new Jim,
101
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,717
{\an8}then every human being
in the world is the new Jim.
102
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:03,303
{\an8}- Andy's here! Old Dwight,
New Dwight, Andy's here.
103
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:06,056
{\an8}New Jim, Tuna, Andy's here.
Pam, he's here.
104
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:09,434
{\an8}[squeals]
- Hey! Ahh.
105
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:13,646
{\an8}Wow, I thought about this place
a lot when I was on solo.
106
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:16,358
{\an8}Three days on a mountain,
it'll change you.
107
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,777
{\an8}[chuckles]
The things we think we need.
108
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:21,196
{\an8}Clocks.
Yeah, right.
109
00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:23,448
{\an8}- It sounds amazing.
Tell us all about it.
110
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,742
{\an8}- What are you
still doing here?
111
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,369
{\an8}- Wonderful, thanks.
112
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:30,038
{\an8}- You know, I had this
really funny dream
113
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,290
{\an8}during Outward Bound
that you died.
114
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:35,210
{\an8}[laughs]
- Brilliant.
115
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,629
{\an8}- See me in my office later.
116
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:40,465
{\an8}The new guys.
All right.
117
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,926
{\an8}Clark and, um...
- Pete.
118
00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:44,427
{\an8}- Da da da da...
119
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:45,804
{\an8}in Outward Bound,
it was all about nicknames.
120
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:47,806
{\an8}They called me Iceman.
121
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:48,932
{\an8}You will be called "Plop."
122
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,059
{\an8}- What--why?
123
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:51,893
{\an8}- 'Cause you're always
taking dumps.
124
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,144
{\an8}- No, I'm not.
125
00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:54,229
{\an8}- Come on,
everybody defecates.
126
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,731
{\an8}Relax, Plop.
You will be called "Fart"
127
00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,692
{\an8}because you fart all the time.
- I love it.
128
00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,110
{\an8}- Actually, Andy,
we call this one
129
00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:01,778
{\an8}"Dwight Jr."
130
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,571
{\an8}- No, I prefer "Fart."
131
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,990
{\an8}- No, Dwight Jr.
Infinitely better.
132
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,158
{\an8}You guys look
exactly alike.
133
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,869
{\an8}Dwight, go stand
next to him.
134
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,246
{\an8}This is insane.
- I don't see it.
135
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,540
{\an8}- I don't either.
I don't either.
136
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:15,333
{\an8}- Whoa.
[imitates explosion]
137
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:17,919
{\an8}Mind blown.
It's like father and son.
138
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:23,925
{\an8}- It's...
[sighs]
139
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:26,428
{\an8}- Dwight, you cool if we
call him Dwight Jr.?
140
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:29,597
{\an8}- Yes.
Yes, I am.
141
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:34,853
{\an8}- That's okay.
142
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:39,149
{\an8}- Dwight Jr.
- Ha.
143
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,859
{\an8}In a way, it's like
I have a son.
144
00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:42,527
{\an8}And who knows?
Maybe some day
145
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:45,363
{\an8}they'll hire someone who looks
like a younger version of him.
146
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,282
{\an8}And then I'll have
a grandson.
147
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,909
{\an8}- Well, I need to give
my cat up for adoption.
148
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:52,412
{\an8}- Mmm.
- The one who uses the doorbell,
149
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:53,872
{\an8}or the one
with the Mexican hat,
150
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,082
{\an8}or the one
with the rain galoshes,
151
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,834
{\an8}or the one that you let
go around naked?
152
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,919
{\an8}Angela's cats are cute.
153
00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:03,006
{\an8}So cute that you just want
to eat 'em.
154
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:06,426
But you can't eat cats.
155
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:10,013
You can't eat cats,
Kevin.
156
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:13,850
- No, the one with the long hair
and the denim pants--Comstock.
157
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:15,101
- Oh.
- Okay, look.
158
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,604
He's such a special kitty.
159
00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:19,981
I just want to find him
a good home.
160
00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:23,401
- ? Give me your hand,
darling ?
161
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,611
- He loves those pants.
162
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:27,697
- ? Do you feel my heart
beating? ?
163
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,657
- I'll take him.
164
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,242
- Please.
After the turtle?
165
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:34,829
- I am enormously proud
of what I did for that turtle!
166
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,374
- Oscar. Oscar.
Will you take him?
167
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,750
- No, I'm a dog person.
168
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:41,169
- If you pray enough,
169
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,838
you can change yourself
into a cat person.
170
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:45,882
- Those guys always
turn back, Angela.
171
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:48,968
- OK, give me something to talk
about with young people.
172
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:52,806
- I read an article in "TIME"
magazine about dubstep.
173
00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:55,058
- Yo, man, what's up?
- Hey.
174
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,060
- You catch that dubstep
article in "TIME" last week?
175
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,478
Off the charts.
176
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,605
- "TIME" magazine?
177
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,692
Do you, uh, pick that up at the
newsstand in your Ford Taurus?
178
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,860
[laughs]
179
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:07,070
Hey, I'll read that as soon
as I finish
180
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,405
the "Farmers' Almanac."
181
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,989
- You read the "Almanac"?
182
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:13,535
Crazy gibbous moon next month, yo.
183
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,245
- Right, yo.
184
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:17,038
- OK, see you later.
185
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:24,379
I have no idea what just
happened there.
186
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,506
- David, Outward Bound
was incredible.
187
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:28,550
I was the best
at slacklining.
188
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:29,801
I ate a worm.
189
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,052
- Glad to hear it.
190
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,554
- Went to the bathroom
anywhere I wanted,
191
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,681
literally anywhere, blew a
rabbit right out of his hole.
192
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,142
- You sound really confident
and decisive.
193
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,810
- He is never going back
in that hole.
194
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,603
- Uh--
- I'm sorry.
195
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,564
At Outward Bound you get used
to talking openly
196
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,774
about body functions,
because everyone--
197
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:48,903
literally every single person--
has diarrhea.
198
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:50,780
[knock on door]
- Hey, you wanted to see me?
199
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,491
- Yeah.
I gotta go, David.
200
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,368
Why is Nellie still here?
Didn't you get my postcard?
201
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:56,870
- Oh, uh--
202
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,581
On the front
is a pretty waterfall.
203
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:04,586
And on the back
it says "fire Nellie."
204
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,504
[sniffs]
205
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:09,341
I don't think
that's berry juice.
206
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,884
I did get your postcard.
207
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,386
Um, didn't you get
my care package?
208
00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:14,554
- They wouldn't let me have it,
209
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:15,680
because there were cookies
in it.
210
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:19,267
- Ohh, well, in addition
to the cookies
211
00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:22,604
I sent an explanation
of our labor laws here,
212
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,732
and you can only fire Nellie
for cause.
213
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:28,777
- Hmm. Then I will
make up a cause.
214
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:30,904
- Except you just told me
you were gonna make it up.
215
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:33,114
Now, if she sues,
I have to testify against you.
216
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,325
- Then forget
I just told you that.
217
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:36,910
- I can't.
218
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,453
I took a course at the
Weintraub Memory Academy.
219
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,914
I sat next to this woman
named Beverly Brook.
220
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,166
She had a Greek salad
for lunch.
221
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,417
See what I mean?
222
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,961
- Now I know why Michael
hated you so much.
223
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,963
- No, he didn't.
224
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:57,472
- Good boy.
Getting big and strong.
225
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,349
Snack foods!
226
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,685
- Yep.
[both chuckle]
227
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,186
Body by Cheez-It.
228
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:06,731
- Ah, humor.
I have it too.
229
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:09,651
Oh, boy,
I got a couple of tickets
230
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:11,528
to the Slayer concert
ten months from now.
231
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,571
You interested?
232
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,865
- I think I'm busy
that night.
233
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,117
Oh, or I would.
234
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,119
- Mmm, okay, well,
235
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,204
we're both just kind of
learning as we go, aren't we?
236
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:22,997
- Learning what?
237
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:27,794
- Just... how this is gonna be.
You know.
238
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:30,255
You have a beautiful
round head.
239
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:32,674
- Okay.
240
00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:34,801
- So what kind of farming
you into, huh?
241
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:39,723
More of a fruit man
or a root man?
242
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:42,976
- Hey, is this--is this code
for, like, gay stuff?
243
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,227
'Cause if so,
that's totally fine.
244
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,021
Like, I'm fine with it.
245
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:48,606
But you know, you should know
that I'm into the ladies.
246
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:52,152
- Spoken like a true
root man.
247
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,570
- Hey, you know,
if you're ever swamped,
248
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,531
I can make
some sales calls for you.
249
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,783
- My calls?
- So could you give me
250
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,869
a list of all your clients,
or just the leads
251
00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:01,953
that you haven't had time
to pursue yet?
252
00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:03,163
- You want a list
of my clients?
253
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:04,330
You want my leads?
254
00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:05,832
- Yeah, I'll just
give it a glance.
255
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:07,375
- Okay.
- I'll give it a read.
256
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,460
- Yeah, with my leads,
and stuff like that.
257
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,086
- Yeah.
258
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:11,463
- 'Cause you're interested
in going into sales.
259
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:12,464
- I am.
- Wow, that's great.
260
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,549
- Yeah.
- That's great.
261
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:16,634
Okay, good.
Let's talk about that, okay?
262
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,136
- Okay.
263
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:19,637
- You're not getting my
clients.
264
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:22,849
Nice try.
265
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,435
Paranoid?
I'm not familiar with the word.
266
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,103
And I really don't have time
to learn new words
267
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:28,355
right now, okay?
268
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,231
A pudgy 22-year-old
is trying to take my job.
269
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:34,903
- Oh, a ladle.
270
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,363
Oh, he loves ladles.
271
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:38,323
- I think we owe him
more than that.
272
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:42,243
- OK, throw in a slotted spoon.
273
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:44,537
- Roy Anderson,
my former fianc�,
274
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,998
is getting married,
275
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:50,919
unless his bride pulls what I'm
sure they call "a Pam"
276
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:54,798
or a "that bitch Pam."
277
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,634
- Jim, get ready
for the battle of your life.
278
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,594
- Done. Explain.
279
00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:02,472
- The new guys--Dwight Jr.
is after my job.
280
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,891
Yeah, there is a shark
hiding inside
281
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,142
that adorable little cherub.
282
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:07,727
- Oh, now I get
what Pete was talking about
283
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:08,978
at the sales meeting
yesterday.
284
00:12:09,104 --> 00:12:11,815
- Wait, sales--
what sales meeting?
285
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,400
- The new guys called one.
286
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:14,943
- The new guys called
a sales meeting?
287
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,153
- Clark ended the whole thing
with a karate demonstration.
288
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,822
Did you know there was
a belt above black?
289
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:20,990
- There's no belt
above black.
290
00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:23,326
Is there a belt above black?
- You should ask him.
291
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:24,786
It's a color
you would never expect.
292
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:31,167
Too easy.
- [chuckles]
293
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:34,504
- Attention, everyone.
Comstock is still available.
294
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,965
Oscar has been flirting
with adopting him,
295
00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:39,259
but still hasn't given me
a definite yes or no.
296
00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:41,720
- Definitely no.
- Fine.
297
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,430
For any interested candidates,
298
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,473
I will be conducting
20-minute interviews.
299
00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:48,476
My ideal situation
would be
300
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,104
an independently wealthy
cute couple
301
00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:52,772
with a strong commitment
to education.
302
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,941
Black or white--
I'm fine with either.
303
00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:57,277
But not both.
Listen, you're in this,
304
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,864
but you need to wow me, okay?
305
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,699
- Psst.
306
00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:04,909
Clark just told me that he
never studied karate.
307
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,411
Why would he lie to me?
308
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,579
- I don't know. I thought you
guys had a really good
309
00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:08,872
father-son thing going.
310
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,373
Kind of like Luke
and Darth Vader.
311
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:14,544
- No, idiot, Luke and
Darth Vader are enemies.
312
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,087
- What?
- Yeah.
313
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:18,006
- Darth Vader tried to attach
a hand on Luke's arm.
314
00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:19,215
- No, he cut it off.
315
00:13:19,341 --> 00:13:20,633
What "Star Wars"
are you watching?
316
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:24,012
Luke is trying to destroy
Darth Vader.
317
00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:29,142
Oh, my god.
318
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:30,935
[phone buzzes]
319
00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:32,562
- Yo, Muppet baby,
320
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,856
got an urgent text
from your social network?
321
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,232
- My brother Mike's--
322
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:39,110
- I'll bet you majored
in self-esteem, huh?
323
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:41,654
Newsflash: you are not special.
324
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,073
- OK.
325
00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:45,241
My generation was taught
self-esteem for, like,
326
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,201
five minutes in kindergarten.
327
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:49,371
And we're still paying for it.
328
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:51,956
- When I was on my solo
up above the tree line
329
00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:54,751
I had this moment of clarity,
you know?
330
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,044
- Yes, yes, yes.
331
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,379
Those can be wonderful.
332
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,631
- And I was thinking about
last spring
333
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,424
and what you did to me.
334
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:05,053
- Mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
335
00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:07,931
- And the nickname I came up
with for you
336
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:10,892
is The Great Emasculator.
337
00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:16,898
- Or better yet,
Lady Second Chance.
338
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,692
- I wanted to talk
to you about our
339
00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,443
working relationship
this year.
340
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,821
It's going to be terrible.
341
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,739
- Not necessarily.
342
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:27,534
- No, I'm going to make sure
that it is.
343
00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:29,953
And if it isn't, I will take
immediate action
344
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:31,746
to rectify that.
345
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:37,085
Now, I don't like
to throw around the "B" word,
346
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:39,713
but I'm gonna be
a huge bitch to you.
347
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,299
- All right, guys,
time to conquer your fear
348
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:44,426
of low heights.
349
00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:47,637
Now, this is called
slacklining.
350
00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:49,639
I set up the old slackline
to teach the office
351
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:52,267
the skills of focus
and discipline.
352
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,935
Or in the case
of certain individuals,
353
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:57,981
the skills of humiliation
and looking really dumb.
354
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,190
If you make it
all the way across,
355
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,483
your confidence will soar.
356
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:04,487
But if you Toby out--
aah! Aah!
357
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,072
Then you'll feel like
a real Nellie.
358
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:08,283
How 'bout a hand?
Screw those guys.
359
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:11,453
Now, these are my actual
Outward Bound counselors,
360
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:12,704
Rafe and Feather.
361
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,581
- Iceman.
- That's me.
362
00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,583
- We called him Iceman
because he always complained
363
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:18,960
about his canteen water
being warm.
364
00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:21,296
- The powder is for
your protection.
365
00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:22,964
Feather has permanent
athlete's foot.
366
00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:24,966
Feather, show them
how you dance
367
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,761
upon the line of slack.
368
00:15:30,472 --> 00:15:32,515
- You, uh--
you a sports guy?
369
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:35,602
- Sure. Uh, boxing, tennis.
- Oh.
370
00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:37,687
Any team sports?
371
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:41,441
- NASCAR.
"The Amazing Race."
372
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:42,942
- Phillies fan, though, right?
373
00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:44,402
- You mean horses?
374
00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:47,572
- No, like ba--baseball.
The baseball team.
375
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,908
- I like the Red Sox.
I'm from Vermont, so...
376
00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:53,828
- Okay. Good talk.
377
00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:56,373
I have nothing in common
with Plop.
378
00:15:56,498 --> 00:15:59,292
- All right, who's next?
Nellie.
379
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:02,128
- Oh, I would rather watch you
and your talented friends.
380
00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:04,130
- Nonsense.
Get up here.
381
00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:06,216
- Go ahead.
- Come on.
382
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:10,011
- All right.
383
00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:12,138
- Uh, you gonna wear
your heels?
384
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,307
- I'm very self-conscious
about my feet.
385
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,476
- Okay. Sure.
386
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:18,895
There you go.
Attagirl.
387
00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:20,522
Hey, all right.
388
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,566
Whoa! You suck.
[chuckles]
389
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:27,570
That was not a--she--
I was trying to support her.
390
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:30,990
Yes, it may have looked harsh,
but in the wild,
391
00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:32,158
you see that kind of thing
all the time,
392
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,494
mom pushing their baby birds
out the nest.
393
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:35,745
I mean, come on.
394
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,872
That was a dick move.
395
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,833
I just couldn't help it.
396
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:42,335
All right, who's next?
Darryl.
397
00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:43,712
- This seems like
the kind of thing
398
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:44,963
white people
with dreadlocks do.
399
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:48,174
- Dwight Jr., this looks
like your speed, or Plop.
400
00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:49,342
Huh?
You want to squeeze one in
401
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:50,635
before you run off
to the bathroom.
402
00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:52,429
- That's a good one, sir.
403
00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:54,139
- Uh, I guess I can
give it a shot.
404
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,557
- Yeah, come on.
Get up here.
405
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,643
Just hop on up.
- Okay.
406
00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:03,023
- Focus on the horizon.
407
00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:05,400
Whoa!
Look at this guy.
408
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:09,029
[cheers and applause]
409
00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:10,071
- I've always been good
at anything
410
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,781
that required balance.
411
00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,825
My doctor says I have
gigantic inner ears.
412
00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:16,953
[cheers and applause]
- Go, Dwight Jr.
413
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:19,748
- That is insane. Yes!
- Boo! Unimpressed.
414
00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:22,250
It's a tightrope for babies.
Boo.
415
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:23,793
- All right,
let's see you do it.
416
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:25,211
- All right, let me show you
how a real man
417
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,421
walks across
a flaccid cord.
418
00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:39,893
- Oh, ho ho ho!
419
00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:41,853
Who ordered
the hot apple fail?
420
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:45,815
- Okay, I am just
getting started, okay?
421
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:49,402
- You got this.
This is all you.
422
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:51,613
- Oh!
[laughter]
423
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:54,741
Oh...
- Got ourselves a yard sale.
424
00:17:58,328 --> 00:17:59,871
- Oh.
- Whoa.
425
00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:01,081
- Balls and face.
426
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:03,375
It's not a race, Dwight.
- Aah!
427
00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:08,880
- Oh!
- Well, it's official--
428
00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:12,258
Old Dwight is lame,
and New Dwight is cool.
429
00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:13,885
- That's not true.
430
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,680
[all gasp]
Just give me another chance.
431
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,223
- But your mouth is--
- This is a bloodbath.
432
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:19,557
All right,
I'm calling this.
433
00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:21,685
- What?
- It's enough of this.
434
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:23,144
Everyone, let's go back
to work.
435
00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:24,813
- This is a stupid activity.
436
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,648
I would be embarrassed
to be good at it.
437
00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:33,196
Get--
438
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,824
idiots!
439
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:37,033
- You know,
that was not appropriate
440
00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:39,160
behavior for anybody.
441
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,495
Commissary meeting now.
442
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,913
Let's go talk about this.
443
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,505
- All right, who has felt
bullied by Andy today?
444
00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:54,592
I'll start us off.
445
00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:57,387
I felt a little bullied today
when Andy said
446
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,847
he knew why Michael hated me.
447
00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:00,557
[laughter]
448
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,851
OK, and I'm feeling a little
bullied right now
449
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,144
by the snickers.
450
00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:05,687
- Snickers?
451
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:07,397
Who has Snickers?
452
00:19:07,439 --> 00:19:12,736
- The secret to a Snickers,
you eat around the peanuts.
453
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:15,238
Then it's not so bad.
454
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:17,657
- Sorry, could I just say,
if this is
455
00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:19,325
about me,
this is really not necessary,
456
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:20,535
because I am fine.
457
00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:22,162
So great meeting, everybody.
458
00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:23,913
Back to work.
459
00:19:24,039 --> 00:19:26,583
Not that I am the manager
anymore.
460
00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:29,085
That is your job, and you are
very good at it.
461
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:35,258
So over to you, Andy,
if that's what you want.
462
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:38,136
- OK, I think Nellie feels
bullied by you, Andy.
463
00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:41,431
- Uh, no, that's not, uh,
not my words.
464
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,184
- Can I just say, I'm feeling
a little bullied
465
00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:46,895
by oversensitive people
who feel bullied by everything?
466
00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:49,481
- Um, I am just asking to check
the transcript,
467
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,024
because I never said bullied.
468
00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:53,401
- Am I supposed to keep
transcripts?
469
00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:54,444
- Mm-mm.
470
00:19:54,486 --> 00:19:56,071
- Angela bullies me.
471
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:58,156
Example,
she won't give me her cat.
472
00:19:58,239 --> 00:20:01,910
Just because I killed my turtle
a few times.
473
00:20:01,993 --> 00:20:03,286
- People kill, Angela.
474
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:04,537
There's no reason
to judge them.
475
00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:05,914
- I feel bullied by Creed
always looking
476
00:20:06,081 --> 00:20:07,415
at my sweet rack.
477
00:20:07,499 --> 00:20:09,125
- Please, I am not looking
at your rack.
478
00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:11,211
You have some crumbs
or some delicious carrot cake
479
00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:12,212
on your chest.
480
00:20:12,337 --> 00:20:13,463
- My freckles?
481
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:14,714
- He looks at me like that too.
482
00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:17,676
- OK, bully me all you like.
483
00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:19,511
I can handle it.
I have very thick skin.
484
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,012
- Thick wrinkled skin.
485
00:20:21,096 --> 00:20:22,597
- Sometimes I look at you,
and you're just doing this
486
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,516
with your mouth.
487
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:25,850
I don't know what that is.
488
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:27,977
- Your cheeks look like
an old western saddle.
489
00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:29,229
- No problem.
490
00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:31,147
I can handle it.
491
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:34,526
You can all pile on
after my smoke break.
492
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:37,946
- You know, when I was on
Outward Bound,
493
00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:40,156
I was bullied by self-doubt.
494
00:20:40,198 --> 00:20:42,617
- Nobody cares about
your dumb wilderness stories.
495
00:20:42,701 --> 00:20:49,082
- [sobbing]
496
00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:50,417
- And how can I be a bully?
497
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:51,668
I'm a sweetie pie.
498
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:53,962
- You're a bitch.
499
00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:57,132
- Oh, god.
500
00:21:00,969 --> 00:21:02,512
I'm not even the Old Jim
anymore.
501
00:21:02,554 --> 00:21:04,389
I'm the New Stanley.
502
00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:08,351
- Well, if you become the
New Creed I'll divorce you.
503
00:21:08,393 --> 00:21:10,103
- [whimpers]
504
00:21:18,153 --> 00:21:20,947
- Slacklining.
Big deal.
505
00:21:21,031 --> 00:21:22,615
Untie that rope,
give it to a couple
506
00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:23,825
of pigtailed school girls,
507
00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:25,326
let them start
jumping with it
508
00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:28,121
while chanting a rhyme
and giggling about boys.
509
00:21:28,163 --> 00:21:29,664
Doesn't seem so macho now,
does it?
510
00:21:29,831 --> 00:21:32,625
It's a jump rope!
511
00:21:32,751 --> 00:21:34,836
[cell phone chimes]
512
00:21:42,135 --> 00:21:43,720
[metal twangs]
513
00:21:43,845 --> 00:21:47,640
- Dwight!
514
00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:49,684
- Pam?
Hey, I'm up here.
515
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:52,270
Up the ladder.
Come on.
516
00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:04,532
- What are you doing?
517
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:07,619
- Come here.
I'll show you.
518
00:22:09,412 --> 00:22:11,831
- Why do you want
this cat?
519
00:22:11,915 --> 00:22:12,999
- Um, I don't want it, really.
520
00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:14,876
- How would you support
the cat?
521
00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:16,920
What are your ambitions?
522
00:22:17,045 --> 00:22:18,004
- I want to start
my own business.
523
00:22:18,088 --> 00:22:19,798
I want to be a millionaire.
524
00:22:19,881 --> 00:22:22,717
Lots of things--travel.
Make the world a better place.
525
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:24,844
Earn an MBA at night.
526
00:22:24,886 --> 00:22:27,555
- Have you taken any
concrete steps?
527
00:22:27,597 --> 00:22:30,517
- Well, I'm still just...
fitting in here.
528
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:31,893
You know, getting used
to the new job.
529
00:22:31,935 --> 00:22:35,980
- Mm-hmm.
- But definitely on the agenda.
530
00:22:36,064 --> 00:22:39,025
But that is a good idea,
Angela. I should make a list.
531
00:22:39,150 --> 00:22:42,112
- Oh, come on, Pete.
532
00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:44,197
God, that's just sad.
533
00:22:44,322 --> 00:22:47,367
If he doesn't watch himself,
he's gonna be here for years
534
00:22:47,492 --> 00:22:49,369
doing nothing.
535
00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:57,711
Wow, maybe Pete is
the New Jim.
536
00:23:01,548 --> 00:23:05,093
- Do you see how the trapeze
completely surrounds the wire?
537
00:23:05,218 --> 00:23:07,178
That means it is
literally impossible
538
00:23:07,262 --> 00:23:08,930
for anyone to fall off.
539
00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:10,181
So you will merely
sit below
540
00:23:10,265 --> 00:23:11,599
and be my counterweight
541
00:23:11,683 --> 00:23:13,435
as I pedal across
the parking lot
542
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:14,602
to that telephone pole,
543
00:23:14,728 --> 00:23:16,229
- I will?
- You will.
544
00:23:16,354 --> 00:23:18,064
Yeah, we weigh about
the same, wouldn't you say?
545
00:23:18,189 --> 00:23:21,568
- Sure, if you weigh 105 pounds.
- So you'll do it?
546
00:23:21,693 --> 00:23:23,903
- No.
- Come on!
547
00:23:24,029 --> 00:23:25,989
This will be the only thrill
of your boring life.
548
00:23:26,072 --> 00:23:28,283
- Dwight, you may find this
hard to believe,
549
00:23:28,366 --> 00:23:29,951
but I love my boring life...
550
00:23:30,035 --> 00:23:31,244
- Come on.
- Exactly the way it is.
551
00:23:31,369 --> 00:23:32,620
- No, Pam.
- Yes.
552
00:23:32,704 --> 00:23:33,997
And there's nothing
you can say
553
00:23:34,039 --> 00:23:36,666
that would get me to run
the slightest risk of losing it.
554
00:23:36,750 --> 00:23:39,210
- Please? Please, Pam?
- Find someone else.
555
00:23:39,252 --> 00:23:40,795
I don't know, ask Phyllis.
556
00:23:40,837 --> 00:23:42,464
- I can't use Phyllis.
Are you kidding me?
557
00:23:42,547 --> 00:23:43,798
The moment she steps
off this bar
558
00:23:43,923 --> 00:23:45,425
I'll be launched
into space.
559
00:23:45,508 --> 00:23:48,219
God, you're so insensitive!
560
00:23:52,724 --> 00:23:53,933
- Why are you
getting rid of it?
561
00:23:54,059 --> 00:23:55,310
- Allergies.
562
00:23:55,393 --> 00:23:57,479
- Your husband?
- No, the baby.
563
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,564
Please, it's my husband's
favorite cat.
564
00:23:59,606 --> 00:24:01,191
He's broken up about it.
565
00:24:01,274 --> 00:24:03,026
It's the only time
I've seen him cry
566
00:24:03,109 --> 00:24:04,235
other than our wedding night.
567
00:24:04,319 --> 00:24:07,614
- You know what?
I will take Comstock.
568
00:24:07,655 --> 00:24:11,785
- Really?
Oh, Oscar, thank you!
569
00:24:11,868 --> 00:24:13,328
- I'll come by after work
and pick him up.
570
00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:16,664
- Yay!
Oh, poor Robert.
571
00:24:16,748 --> 00:24:18,333
He won't get to say goodbye.
572
00:24:18,458 --> 00:24:20,168
He has this business dinner
tonight.
573
00:24:20,293 --> 00:24:22,128
- Oh, c'est la vie.
574
00:24:22,170 --> 00:24:26,758
- Please don't teach
the cat French.
575
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,010
- [chuckles]
Yeah, good news.
576
00:24:29,052 --> 00:24:30,387
Tonight, when you come over
for dinner,
577
00:24:30,470 --> 00:24:33,181
you can play
with your old buddy Comstock.
578
00:24:42,107 --> 00:24:43,900
- You ready?
579
00:24:43,983 --> 00:24:45,777
- Yeah.
580
00:24:45,902 --> 00:24:46,861
You know what?
I'll meet you down there.
581
00:24:46,945 --> 00:24:47,779
I've just gotta make
a quick call.
582
00:24:47,862 --> 00:24:50,448
- Okay.
583
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,911
- Good night, Clark.
Good night, Pete.
584
00:24:54,994 --> 00:24:57,997
- Good night.
- Good night, Erin.
585
00:24:58,123 --> 00:25:00,166
- We thought Clark and Pete
were the new Dwight and Jim.
586
00:25:00,250 --> 00:25:01,418
But is isn't true.
587
00:25:01,501 --> 00:25:02,794
They actually like each other.
588
00:25:02,877 --> 00:25:05,463
- That redhead is choice.
589
00:25:05,547 --> 00:25:08,049
Methinks me needs a little
ginger in my diet.
590
00:25:08,174 --> 00:25:09,634
- Clark's not my friend.
591
00:25:09,718 --> 00:25:12,095
He's the douche I sit next to
in the office.
592
00:25:12,178 --> 00:25:15,223
- You're going after
the boss's girlfriend?
593
00:25:15,348 --> 00:25:16,975
Yeah, you're crazy, man.
594
00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:18,309
- Crazy about bangin'.
595
00:25:18,393 --> 00:25:20,478
'Cause I bang like crazy.
596
00:25:20,603 --> 00:25:23,273
Am I the Tasmanian Bang Devil?
It's been said.
597
00:25:23,398 --> 00:25:26,192
- Not a big fan of Clark.
598
00:25:31,364 --> 00:25:33,408
- Okay.
599
00:25:33,491 --> 00:25:37,412
All right...
600
00:25:37,454 --> 00:25:39,497
oh, god.
601
00:25:39,581 --> 00:25:40,582
[exhales]
602
00:25:40,665 --> 00:25:43,835
- [exhales]
603
00:26:14,699 --> 00:26:17,744
- Attention, employees
of Dunder Mifflin.
604
00:26:17,869 --> 00:26:21,206
Everyone thinks the new guys
are so cool
605
00:26:21,247 --> 00:26:23,041
'cause they can slackline.
606
00:26:23,166 --> 00:26:25,001
Ooh!
607
00:26:25,043 --> 00:26:27,754
Hey, Clark, this is what
a real salesman looks like.
608
00:26:29,714 --> 00:26:31,716
They say that you only
live once,
609
00:26:31,758 --> 00:26:33,301
and I'm about to prove it.
610
00:26:33,385 --> 00:26:35,804
Dwight Schrute!
- Dwight!
611
00:26:35,929 --> 00:26:37,806
- Hey, man, it's Halpert.
612
00:26:37,889 --> 00:26:39,933
Did you go
to the other guy yet?
613
00:26:40,016 --> 00:26:43,978
Great. Don't.
I'm in.
614
00:26:44,062 --> 00:26:48,441
[chuckles]
Yeah, yep, I'm all in.
615
00:26:48,483 --> 00:26:51,486
Okay, talk to you soon.
Bye.
616
00:26:56,116 --> 00:26:58,493
Yeah!
617
00:27:01,371 --> 00:27:03,498
- Whoo-hoo!
618
00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:07,210
Ahh-ahh! Ahh-ahh!
619
00:27:07,252 --> 00:27:10,964
[all gasp, cry out]
620
00:27:11,006 --> 00:27:13,967
- Call someone?
- Call somebody.
621
00:27:14,050 --> 00:27:15,301
- Hang on!
622
00:27:15,385 --> 00:27:18,513
- Hang on!
Hold on, Dwight!
623
00:27:18,596 --> 00:27:20,348
- [screams]
624
00:27:20,515 --> 00:27:23,435
- In the parking lot today,
there was a circus.
625
00:27:23,518 --> 00:27:25,854
The copier did tricks
on the high wire.
626
00:27:25,979 --> 00:27:28,732
A lady tried to give away
a baby that looked like a cat.
627
00:27:28,815 --> 00:27:30,442
There was a Dwight
impersonator
628
00:27:30,525 --> 00:27:32,360
and a Jim impersonator.
629
00:27:32,485 --> 00:27:34,279
A strongman
crushed a turtle.
630
00:27:34,362 --> 00:27:38,283
I laughed and I cried.
631
00:27:38,366 --> 00:27:41,327
Not bad for a day in the life
of a dog food company.
632
00:27:46,416 --> 00:27:48,501
- Crap.
Sorry, Nellie.
633
00:27:48,626 --> 00:27:51,588
- Once again, I understand
that old habits die hard,
634
00:27:51,713 --> 00:27:55,050
but if everyone would kindly
walk their refuse
635
00:27:55,091 --> 00:27:57,802
to the trash bins,
instead of tossing them,
636
00:27:57,886 --> 00:27:59,429
then we would--
637
00:27:59,471 --> 00:28:01,556
- Oh... swish.
638
00:28:01,639 --> 00:28:03,266
- Oh, it's nothing
to do with me.
639
00:28:03,308 --> 00:28:07,771
I just happen to be sitting
near to where the bins are.
640
00:28:07,854 --> 00:28:10,482
- There are two things
that I am passionate about--
641
00:28:10,648 --> 00:28:15,528
recycling and revenge.
[snickers]
642
00:28:15,695 --> 00:28:16,738
- Fluke.
643
00:28:16,788 --> 00:28:21,338
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