Original subtitles

[compowder beeping]

[theme music]

ANNOUNCER: Please welcome to the stage

everyone's favorite billionaire, Thomas Hansen.

Thank you for coming out to see my fourth attempt

to balloon around the world.

I'm ecstatic that you all choose to live vicariously through me.

Au revoir.

[engines roar]

[cheering]

[growling]

I must be hungrier than I thought.

[growling]

[gasp]

[school bell]

[chattering]

Snow crab, salmon, unagi, if I had my way,

I'd eat sushi all the time.

Agreed.

Last one with a piece of fish is a rotten tuna roll.

How can you guys eat when you're

not up to date on the latest gossip about the famously rich.

Priorities girls, priorities.

For example, did you know that the power four trade

hotels like baseball cards?

The power four?

Sounds like a team of superheroes.

Hopeless, much.

Oh, Sammy.

The power four are the four richest people on the planet.

There's Kimberly Kelley, the hottest pop star around.

And yes, she does write her own music.

Helena Simms, the fabulously stylish talk show host.

Chester Bates, the computer genius and philanthropist.

Wow, you think he's be able to afford contact lenses.

And Thomas Hansen, world class adventurer,

and all around dreamy rich guy.

So they're all rich, so what?

There are things in life that matter more than money.

Like what?

Like, uhm, like lots of stuff.

I mean just because they're billionaires doesn't

make them special.

I'm sure deep down they're just like us.

You know, normal, everyday people having who

has the largest competition.

If normal means having a gagillion dollars, sign me up.

[laughter]

You girls focus too much on material things.

I'll show you that anyone can do without pointless luxuries,

starting with this overpriced sushi lunch.

Well I can help you there.

I love sushi.

[yelling]

Thank you, Clover, but you know the only kind of fish

I enjoy comes with chips.

Hands off, Jer.

That floor food was my lunch.

Lunch can wait.

Girls, three of the world's richest people

have been abducted.

[gasp] Wow, talk about total synchronicity.

Yeah, we were just gossiping about them.

Yeah, you two just talking about them.

I was looking away in disgust.

[throat clearing]

Oh, right. are there any clues to their disappearance?

Only one, and a strange one at that.

These strange digging marks were found

at the site of each abduction, but we don't know who, or what,

caused them.

Well, don't worry.

We'll get to the bottom of this.

No one is going to kidnap the fabulously wealthy

on our watch.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, Clover,

but your mission isn't to solve this case.

[gasps]

Instead, your priority is to protect what will probably

be the next target, Milan Stilton, hotel

heiress and the world's fifth richest person.

[squealing]

She's like our favorite rich person.

Her clothing line is to die for.

ALEX: And Fufu is, like, the cutest dog ever.

Oh please, she is completely vapid

and totally materialistic.

And, hello, if the top three richest people are missing,

wouldn't it make more sense that we protect

the fourth richest person?

Indeed it would, but Chester Bates turned down our offer

of protection, confident that his security system

could handle any intruders.

Milan, on the other hand, accepted our offer.

Grudgingly, I might add.

G.L.A.D.I.S.: And now for your gadgets.

Today you'll be using the earring communicators,

heat sensor motion detector sunglasses,

drill heel boots, and the emerald tracking pendant,

which you'll be able to track from anywhere

using your ex powders.

Forget it.

I'm trying to give up material possessions, not get more.

Worry not, Sam it's for Milan.

Fine, I'll take it, but I don't have to like it.

Good luck in protecting Milan, girls.

The abductor may strike at any time.

[screaming]

Raw fish.

I'll never understand it.

It's not even wrapped in newspaper.

[motorcycle engine roaring]

This settles it, there is no such thing as too much pink.

Gaudy much?

You're just jealous because you're

not rich enough to pull it off.

[screaming]

Trouble, come on girls.

[muffled grunts]

[thud]

ALEX: There they are, the kidnappers.

[gasp]

[scream]

SAM: That was easy.

Yeah, almost like they weren't putting up a fight.

Milan, are you all right?

What are you doing?

How dare you lay a hand on my magic finger ladies?

Magic finger ladies?

That doesn't sound very evil.

That's because they're not.

Now, I'm going to assume that you're

not my new maids, because if you were, you'd already be fired.

Hey, I'm Clover, and this is Alex and Sam.

We're the agents from WOOHP sent to protect you.

I guessed as much.

Your horrible outfits are a dead giveaway.

What's wrong with our outfits?

One piece jumpsuits?

Please.

They are so last season bargain bin.

Excuse me.

Tell me you didn't just say bargain bin.

Sam, we're here to protect her, remember?

You whatever it is ill mannered people like you do,

as long as you don't disturb me or my precious Fufu again.

[dog whines]

Aw, my little Fufu.

Did their lack of style scare you?

[growls]

Look, we don't like this any more than you do.

So we'll leave you alone on one condition,

you'll wear this tracking pendant.

Emerald?

That color so does not match my season.

I like diamonds, big pink ones.

I haven't seen this much ice since last time we

went to Antarctica.

I'll wear your stupid pendant as long as you

keep her away from my jewelry.

It's a deal.

If you need us, we'll be on patrol.

CLOVER: Wait, can't we play dress up please?

Wow, this girl's got pink on the brain.

Hey Sammy, find anything yet?

Nada, but I'm convinced she has her lawn

mowed with nail clippers.

How about you Clover?

I hit the jackpot.

This closet is bigger than my room.

SAM: Are you actually looking for a kidnappers,

or are you just day dreaming again?

Fine.

[muffled calls for help]

What was that?

Time for a better look.

[phone rings]

What is it, Jer?

I've just received a distress call from Chester Bates.

I want to Alex and Clover to check it out immediately.

Sam, you keep an eye on Milan.

We're on it

Oh, I wonder what his closets are like.

Great, why do I get to be the babysitter?

All this extravagances is giving me a headache.

[panting]

[screaming]

Apparently this dude has never heard of a beware

of invisible wall sign.

Well, his security system is still up.

Then how did anyone get inside?

Clover, look.

Digging marks.

And a tunnel.

For elves, maybe.

I mean, hello.

Tiny much.

Out of the way, Clover.

These boots were made for drilling.

[splattering]

Hey, if I wanted a mud pack, I'd go to a spa.

Either Chester Bates was kidnapped,

or he just had an awesome party.

Maybe if we tidy up we might find a clue two.

Do I look like a cleaning service to you?

ALEX: Hey, check it out, something shiny.

A pink diamond.

Gee, who do we know who wears pink diamonds?

All right Sam, you have way too many material possessions.

Now, I can cancel my fitness mag subscriptions, donate

my computer to a school, and who needs

more than three pairs of shoes?

Like, everybody.

But more importantly, Chester Bates has been kidnapped.

And we think Little Miss Pink and Perfect is involved.

But she's been lights out the whole time.

See?

Milan hasn't moved for hours.

Unless she took her tracker off.

[crash]

There'd better be a very good reason

for kicking open my door again.

Can't we just pretend it never happened?

And Fuzzy's been where?

My little Fufu was out doing her business.

Is that a problem?

It is for you.

We found this diamond at Chester's estate,

and it matches the diamonds on Fufu's collar.

So we know you and your little dog had something to do

with Chester's kidnapping.

Poor, little Fufu.

The only thing she does is take out the trash.

[barking]

Oh look, Fufu thinks he's an attack dog.

Isn't that adorable?

[barking]

I think someone's bark is worse than their--

[lasers powering up]

[explosion]

Lasers?

[barking]

What's that noise?

I don't know, but it's scrambling my brain.

[shattering]

This is worse than country music.

I am so proud of you, yes I am.

That's a good robot dog.

Who ordered you from Japan?

Who programmed you?

That's right, I did.

Who's a cutie wootie?

Who's a cutie wootie?

Where are we?

We're trapped in Milan's closet.

You've got to help us.

I knew there was something fishy about that thumping I

heard.

And besides, any girl that would make her summer

coordinates with her business casual

is definitely hiding something.

Oh good, you're all awake.

Yeah, just in time for you to tell us why you're

kidnapping billionaires, Milan.

[laughter] It's simple, really.

You see, I'm just not satisfied being the fifth

richest person in the world.

Milan must be number one.

And since I'm no good at making money,

the only way I can move up is to take out the competition.

And now that I've got everyone wrapped up,

I can take care of them in one fell swoop,

or should I say smooch?

[laughter]

What do you think she meant by that?

Who cares?

Kimberly Kelley, I am you biggest fan.

Thanks.

Did you and Matthew Ocean really breakup?

I mean, I just read a feature in Totally Loaded that

says he's an awesome kisser.

Maybe this isn't the best time to dish, Clover.

Au contraire, when else are we going

to find out about the lives of the obscenely rich?

So, Chester, is it true you have more money than most countries?

Well, yes.

Then why don't you use it to buying your way out of this?

See, money can't buy you everything.

Wow, chill, Sam.

Sorry she's having major materialism hostility issues.

Yeah, she's practically a hippie.

Well I'd rather be a hippie than a soulless own-it-all.

[rumbling]

Um, I hate to interrupt, but what was that?

[gasp]

The walls.

[grunting]

If we don't do something quick,

this is going to get messy.

I've got an idea. remember our yoga classes?

Duh, we only go every week.

We need to do deep breathing exercises.

Ready?

OK, but I don't see--

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

[heavy breathing]

All the way out.

And hold.

See?

Yoga's awesome and it's cheap.

Good job, Sam.

Yeah, I never would have thought yoga could save our lives.

Ahem, tied up here.

[grunt]

This isn't working.

Out of the way.

Drill boots, coming through.

OK, bad idea.

Take out the glass instead.

No problem.

OK, slight problem.

Get me out of here.

What can we do?

Don't worry, we'll get you out of here somehow.

That glass is just too hard to break.

And what's harder than glass?

Diamonds, right.

[glass breaking]

I'm liking Milan less and less.

Told you.

But, her clothing line is still completely styling.

Speaking of Milan, I wonder where she is now.

Come on, Sam.

No way she's still wearing that tracking pendant.

She'd have to be a total airhead not to take it off.

I've always dreamed of being on the cover

of Totally Loaded magazine.

Who dares interrupt my finest moment?

We dare.

And if appearing in a crummy magazine is your finest moment,

then you seriously need to get a life.

Hey, I like that magazine.

You're supposed to be jam by now.

No matter.

Fufu, take care of these mean, nasty girls.

[growling]

[barking]

Not again.

I think I know how to block him out.

Quick, stuff it in your ears.

That's right, puppy dog.

Keep on barking, cause we can't hear you

[growling]

[crunch]

Wow, Fufu's hardcore.

Here, fetch.

[explosion]

Maybe we should play a different game.

Let's see if he can eat this.

[gasp]

[scream]

[splash]

That's it.

Time for Fufu to take a bath.

That can be arranged.

Hey Fufu, over here.

[growling]

Yeah, over here you overpriced excuse for a real dog.

Oh no, I'm trapped on the end of this diving board.

If that terrible dog was to leap at me, I'd have nowhere to go.

[splash]

Nice job, Alex.

I knew all those years of balance beam would pay off.

You think this is over?

It's not over.

Do you know who I am?

Yeah you're the person getting 150 years for kidnapping.

You can't do this to me.

I'm too rich to go to jail.

Excellent work, agents.

Who would have guessed that our kidnapper

was the very person you were protecting from the kidnapper?

Yeah, it's a real mind twister.

Thanks very much for saving us.

Indeed, good show there.

Uh, yeah.

That was like right on.

If there is any way we can reward you--

Oh, that's no necessary-- wait, you

guys are billionaires right?

And I just happen to need a new wardrobe.

Oh, and I would die for my own private gym.

What about you, Sam ?

I could totally use a private island,

and a matching private yacht so I can get to my private island.

How great would that be?

Thank you, but WOOHP agents do not accept gifts.

Doing a good job is our reward.

Wait, don't call it a gift, then.

We accept tips or honorariums.

Christmas bonus?

Come on, please?

So much for giving up material possessions.

A matching yacht and island?

How tacky.

Did you know that the colors you wear totally reflect your mood?

Like black means that you're bummed and probably like

zombies and bats and stuff.

But yellow means you're happy and you love bananas.

Of course, if you add white boots to the mix,

that means that you have to treat

black as if it was yellow.

Or is it orange?

But orange means you're optimistic about the

future-- wait, or is it red?

No, maybe green.

Maybe we should just all wear mood rings.

It would make things a lot easier.