Original subtitles

[chattering]

[laughing]

Boy, I really cracked them up tonight.

Ha ha.

So my adoring public wants an autograph.

Well, it'll cost you.

[playing accordion]

[shouting]

[cackling]

Wow.

I found your lecture on cold fusion to be so interesting,

Mr. Roberts.

May I clean those test tubes for you?

Thank you, Sam.

It's wonderful to see a student so interested in chemistry.

Oh, hi, Sam.

I guess you were serious when you said you'd

hit up Mr. R for extra credit.

Is it working?

[laughing nervously]

Oh, what a total coincidence.

That's my favorite movie too.

I love the part when--

Clover.

Is this the guy you said you were majorly crushing on?

Oh, he's just as cute as you say he was.

[nervous sounds]

You know, she really, really likes you.

OK.

I'll leave you two love birds alone.

Way to totally blow it, Alex.

You are the absolute worst at keeping a secret.

What are you guys talking about?

I'm an expert at keeping secrets.

Hello.

Remember that time we had to cancel a party because you

told the neighbors about it?

Or the time you told my English teacher I downloaded

my essay from the internet?

None of those were my fault. I can

totally keep things to myself.

I didn't tell Sam that you lost her favorite CD, did I?

Oops.

Wait.

You lost my CD?

I--I didn't really lose it.

I just kind of lent it to this guy and--

[growling]

[laughing nervously]

Oh, where did they come from.

Oh, look it at the little babies.

[shouting]

Welcome, super spies.

How did you like the babies from the WOOHP daycare?

They were cute, but not so cuddly.

Hey, new tie, Jer?

I love it.

You always know exactly what to wear.

Well, I once was runner up in the Most Dapper

Man in Manchester Contest.

But Sam, didn't you say that Jerry's taste in clothes

was hideous?

[growling]

So Jer, what's up?

Yes.

Well, people in the entertainment district

are being attacked by a mysterious entity.

Strangely, the attacks have only been

on performers like singers, comedians, and magicians.

Whoa, tough crowd.

I want you girls to go there and investigate.

Gladys will supply you with some gadgets

to help you on your mission.

GLADYS: I'm giving you personal fingernail darts,

low gravity go-go boots, net-throwing mascara,

and the lipstick microphone camera,

and a new item, red heat throat lozenges.

How do they work?

I'm glad you asked.

Time for a little demonstration.

Off to the Dojo.

[gong]

The red heat throat lozenge.

As soon as the lozenge comes into contact

with your salivary glands, it releases--

[gasping] Oh, dear.

Not now.

It releases-- [gasping].

[whoosh]

Uh, thanks for the demo, Jer.

I think we get the idea.

The red heat lozenges are good for melting objects

and for clearing one's sinuses.

OK, Alex.

We've got some really juicy gossip,

but you can't tell anyone. - Don't worry.

It's safe with me. Just tell me.

Tell me.

OK.

[choking]

Really?

Gladys?

I don't believe it.

Remember.

You can't tell anyone.

You have to keep it a secret to regain our trust.

Don't worry.

It's in the vault.

Most of the performers are being attacked in this area.

The latest incident occurred at this club

to a magician named The Amazing Molotov.

- [crying] - Excuse me.

Are you The Amazing Molotov?

[gasping]

What's with the outfit?

You want a crowd laughing with you, not at you.

She's lost her voice.

So you petted a goat that bi you.

You bet a giant bag of candy to a baby.

No, no.

I've got it.

You opened a box, and a cat jumped at your face.

I've got it.

We'll just get her to write down what happened.

What does it say?

I'm not sure.

Her handwriting isn't that good.

Besides, it's in Russian.

Oh, this isn't getting us anywhere.

[phone ringing]

Hm?

It's Jerry.

Girls, there's been reports of a suspicious figure

prowling around the concert hall down the street.

Jer, what do you know about gla-- glasses.

You know, glasses?

Like sunglasses.

Oh, never mind.

[cheering]

Sounds like we've crashed a concert.

We're going to need a better view to find our suspect.

[music playing]

Yeah!

Woohoo!

This is perfect.

A, ha, ha.

I'll say.

I can't believe I'm at a Valet concert.

Isn't he dreamy?

These will look great in my locker.

Uh, we're supposed to be looking for a suspect,

not starting a fan club.

Wait, I think I see him.

Clover, cut the swooning and start zooming.

CLOVER: He's either our guy or just geek waiting

to get his accordion signed.

[playing accordion]

[screaming]

[muttering]

CLOVER: Valet has lost his beautiful voice.

And worse, he looks like a clown.

Come on.

Our suspect is getting away.

After him.

I thought accordions were bad enough,

but now they steal people's voices too?

[zapping]

Hurry.

[gasping]

[shouting]

[crashing]

[laughing]

Let's get him.

Hey.

What's up?

Excuse us. Sorry about that.

It's fine. Really.

No, excuse me.

OK, buddy.

Your recital is over.

Hey, your aim is as bad your music

[zooming]

[shouting]

[panting]

[gasping]

[coughing]

[squealing]

Whoa.

Fashion disaster of the century much?

White paint.

It must come from Mr. Accordion.

I'll send it to WOOHP for analysis.

Oh, don't worry.

You guys look great.

In fact, it'll probably start a new trend at school.

Everyone's going to be doing it in no time.

Well, girls.

I've got something that will help you--

[gasping]

Oh, my goodness.

What happened to you?

[clearing throat]

Whatever happened, it's great.

What a unique, um, look, and such stylish uniforms.

A trend just waiting to happen.

[giggling]

Well, sorry, Sam.

I'm all out of crackers.

But here.

Try these devices.

They'll help you communicate.

Just type into it, and it'll translate your text into words.

COMPUTER: Testing one, two, three.

Alex says she hates the way the computer voice sounds.

She rather use puppets to get her points across.

[shouting] What on Earth are you doing?

Rather low tech, but I suppose that could work too.

COMPUTER: At least now, she'll have a hard time

telling people's secrets.

GLADYS: I analyzed the white pages again.

It contains traces of DNA from a mime who

goes by the name of Jazz Hands.

So this Jazz Hands must be the one behind the attacks.

But why is he stealing people's voices?

COMPUTER: Let's find him and ask him.

Jazz Hand's last known address is around here.

I think we should use our hologram projection

mood rings to help us fit in.

Well, at least we aren't clowns.

COMPUTER: Speak for yourself.

Oh, but it works for you, Sammy.

COMPUTER: Yeah, like, whatever.

I have a feeling that Jazz Hands has been here recently.

COMPUTER: Where's Alex?

[squeaking]

OK.

The socks were bad enough.

This is ridiculous.

Well, oh well.

What do we have here?

What's with those super weak costumes?

See, Stewart?

I told you they were clueless losers.

[scoffing] What are you two doing together?

Oh, I owe it all to Alex.

If she didn't blab about your secret crush,

I never would have stolen him away from you.

[squeaking]

What are you doing?

Stop it, Alex.

You're like, totally freaking us out.

COMPUTER: We mean you no harm.

I always thought you guys were like, freaks,

but this takes the cake.

Sorry, Clover.

I could never hang out with somebody

with such weird friends.

Thanks, Alex.

[squeaking]

No, you can't have gravel flavored ice cream.

We're here to find Jazz Hand's home.

COMPUTER: Guys, over here.

That's got to be the place.

[playing accordion]

COMPUTER: That must be Jazz Hands.

CLOVER: He's showing footage of himself performing.

What an ego.

COMPUTER: He's not very good.

No wonder.

An accordion playing mime.

Like, get a clue.

And it looks like he's got raging jealousy

issues with other performers.

[gasping]

What?

What's going on?

You know a ballerina that has salt in her eyes?

You've always dreamed of being a window washer?

You want to buy a lamp at a free market.

Uh.

[gasping] Jazz Hands.

Too bad you couldn't just mime your own business.

Hey.

I thought mimes weren't supposed to talk.

Oh, that's just a misconception perpetuated

by the mime-hating media.

In fact, we are all allowed to talk offstage.

Why would I have a telephone if I didn't talk?

That would be ridiculous, as well as a total waste of money.

COMPUTER: Can we get on with this?

You can' talk to me like that.

I am the world's greatest mime.

[whooshing]

I have a diploma from the International Mime Academy.

You may not understand the intricate craft of mime,

but you will respect me.

[whooshing]

COMPUTER: This mime means business.

[laughing]

[gasping]

Huh?

[grunting]

So I suppose you don't want to talk things through, huh?

No one shall defeat the power of the mime.

Ya!

[whooshing]

[grunting]

OK.

This is totally not cool.

Being a mime isn't about being cool.

It's about the art of body movement,

subtle gestures, nonverbal communication.

Something you'll come to understand.

That was just the opening act.

It's time for the star of the show, the ultimate mime

weapon, the invisible box.

OK.

Anyone else feeling a little claustrophobic?

Ah, there's no point in struggling.

You can't get out.

Ingenious in its simplicity, the invisible box

is harder than it looks.

COMPUTER: Why are you doing this?

I've been shunned by the arts community

because they don't understand my genius.

So I'm going to turn the entire world into a silent world.

Ah!

Then everyone will realize how difficult mimehood is.

Not just anyone can be a mime.

It's a craft.

A craft, I tell you.

[cackling maniacally]

I'm not sure how it was possible,

but now I hate mimes even more.

COMPUTER: I'm suffocating.

We've gotta get out of here before we run out of air.

COMPUTER: I think I know a way out.

Help me rock this box back and forth.

[shouting]

[shattering glass]

Now we've got to stop Jazz Hands, or everyone in the world

will be wearing those same hideous outfits.

Sorry.

If I were a mime, where would I go?

Ew.

Like I'd ever be a mime.

[whooshing]

[helicopter]

You all laughed at me.

Well, now, I am laughing at you.

Hear this.

[cackling]

[whooshing]

Time for our jet pack backpacks.

[whooshing]

Come on, Sam.

Get that white-face loser.

Oh, sorry about that.

Ah, the critics of mimehood never stop.

Like they always say, a true artist is never

understood during his time.

[whooshing]

Just like your career, Jazz Hands, your going down.

[cackling] So you think.

But you'll find that we mimes are full of surprises.

We are silent, but violent.

[cackling]

[crying out]

Did he just silent, but violent?

Apprentice mimes, eliminate them.

Ah.

[growling]

[grunting]

Hey, check it out.

I'm miming.

[growling]

I deserve that.

[whooshing]

It's time for the fingernail darts.

[whooshing]

[shouting]

Gladys, we need someone to pick up some bad guys.

I'm sending over some coordinates.

I won't let you talkies ruin my plan.

The show is over, Jazz Hands.

Ah, mimes aren't quitters.

We never stop bringing joy and pleasure

to audiences everywhere.

[whooshing]

Oh.

Whoa!

COMPUTER: This balloon On out of control.

Gee, I never would have guessed.

What's the matter, girls?

Not enjoying my performance?

How typical.

Unfortunately, you won't be around for the encore.

Mime sense tingling.

COMPUTER: Help.

Sam.

[whooshing]

Why don't you just give up and let mimes rule the world?

Do I really need to answer that?

We can't keep this up.

We're going to need a plan.

[whimpering]

That's perfect.

Did ever you consider that everyone hates your act

because you're not very good?

That's so untrue.

But yet your words hurt me.

What are you doing?

Unhand me.

Waa!

[shouting]

Here's my review of your latest performance.

There isn't a cell strong enough to hold me.

Mimes are resilient.

There's no way you'll stop me.

Alex, can we get some quiet time.

[zapping]

Great job, spies.

Jazz Hands will have a long time to perfect his craft

in our WOOHP detention center.

Thanks, Gladys.

It's good to have my voice back.

GLADYS: Luckily, we were able to reverse the effects

on everyone Jazz Hands attacked by careful manipulation

of his accordion.

Gladys, I have to know.

Did you ask out Jerry's photocopier yet?

GLADYS: What are you talking about?

Everyone knows that you have a crush Jerry's photocopier

and you don't want Jerry to know.

I think it's really cute.

Alex.

That was a secret.

That's it.

You leave us no choice.

I didn't mean it.

It just slipped out.

Just give me one more chance.

My photocopier?

GLADYS: Oh, please.

There's no time for inter-office romances.

[giggling]

Today's topic is how a smart girl can impress a boy.

As you know, the brain is the major organ

of the central nervous system and the control center

for all the body's activities.

The brain is also an important tool

that can be used to show that special someone that there is

more to you than meets the eye.

Sammy, it's your new hunky boyfriend, Vincent.

Vincent, me was waiting.

You call your phone to me thing call.

Me.

Uh, hey, even a smart girl like myself

can have a brain freeze every once in a while.