Original subtitles

[theme playing]

[machinery whirring]

Quick, we've got to deactivate the central processor.

If you mean that flashing thingie then I'm all over it.

Yah!

Hiya!

Whoa.

Hiya.

Bye bye, robo-baby.

[all exclaiming]

Some Saturday this turned out to be.

Instead of dating one of BH's most eligible bachelors,

I'm stuck here scrubbing fish goo out of my spy suit.

Totally know what you mean.

I should be getting my hair done right now.

And I should be curled up with a good book.

Maybe it's time to hang up our X powders for good.

No more bad guys, no more evil schemes.

No more getting whooped every time we turn around.

[ding]

[screaming]

Yep, another weekend down the drain.

Ah, welcome aboard, super spies.

Forget it, Jer, we're way too tired for another mission,

even if it does have a funky Hawaiian theme.

Another mission?

I wouldn't think of it.

After all, that would conflict with your two week cruise.

You're sending us on a cruise?

Aboard the majestic WOOHPtanic.

Beautiful, luxurious, and for WOOHP agents only,

especially pooped WOOHP troops who desperately

need a well-earned break.

Oh, you an idea how perfect--

wait a minute.

How did you know how pooped we were?

Were you spying on us again?

Well, of course.

I am a spy, after all.

Well sometimes we need our privacy.

And you'll get plenty of it tucked

away in your own private cabin on the WOOHPtanic.

G.L.A.D.I.S: Bon voyage, super spies.

[screaming]

[alex giggling]

The WOOHPtanic.

Now why does that name give me a sinking feeling?

Forget your feelings, Sammy.

This ship is awesome.

It's got three pools, four spas--

May we attend to your baggage, ladies?

And a zillion hot guys.

I'm Captain Chet Prescott.

Welcome aboard the magnificent WOOHPtanic.

Welcome, ladies, to the princess suite.

[fog horn]

I can't believe Jerry put us in this tiny shoebox.

Well, I for one don't plan on hanging around in here.

Time to get some sun and curl up with The 7 Habits

of Totally Successful People.

And I'm going to give my hair a vacation

at the on deck salon.

What about you, Clover?

Duh, what's a cruise for?

I'm going cruising.

Come on girls.

Ow, that's one low doorway.

Chapter one, totally believe in yourself.

Phew, that's some sauna, eh?

Yes, it is.

I'm telling you, I burn like a marshmallow.

Haha.

And wouldn't you know it, I forgot my sunscreen?

Oh, haha.

Uh huh.

You mind lending me some of yours?

Not at all.

Sure glad to get away from the office.

I head up building maintenance at WOOHP's Fiji branch.

If that sounds tough, it's because it is.

Like the other day I'm doing inventory on cleaning supplies

and wouldn't you know it?

We're almost out of floor wax.

That's the one.

CHER: Number 247A, girly girls.

Excellent choice.

Hey, where are you?

I'm Cher, your computerized hairdo experimentation robot,

and I'll be styling your hair today.

Cool.

A lifeguard, huh?

You could save my life any time.

That's my job, ma'am.

Ugh, ma'am?

Hello, I'm trying to flirt with you here.

Yes, ma'am.

I'm just not interested.

Not interested?

I like a girl with a little more oomph, you know?

A look that's less--

I don't know, boring.

Boring?

[boom]

WOOHPtanic passengers, there is no cause for alarm.

Everything is under control--

by me, Colonel Nathaniel Nash!

Don't bother trying to stop me, WOOHP agents.

You'll find yourselves quite outnumbered.

[gasps]

[screaming]

Now that I control all the agents aboard the WOOHPtanic,

I will soon control WOOHP itself.

Not if me and my girls have anything to say about it.

We've got to take Colonel Nash out, now.

You girls need some help?

Um, no thanks.

Better leave this to us experienced super agents.

[music playing]

Oh, by the way.

Cute hair.

Thanks.

[grunts and thuds]

Sorry, captain.

We wish to lodge a complaint.

Our cabin's way too small.

The black commander uniforms are way too 90s.

Use

And your reflexes are way too slow.

[computer beeping]

[engine revving]

What's going on?

[fog horn]

We're heading straight for an iceberg.

The throttle's stuck.

It's too late.

[screaming]

[crash]

Phew.

That was one bad dream.

You had a nightmare, too?

Yeah.

Something about a mission.

Me, too.

And there were these bad guys--

And then, complete and utter disaster.

I guess we really do need a break.

All we can think about is work.

Hey, some great perm.

It didn't even last a day.

Well, I know what I'm doing today.

Me, too.

It's back to Cher for a do that sticks.

I'm going to hit the pool again.

I'll show that lifeguard boring.

Come on, girls.

Ow That's one low doorway.

Again.

Chapter one, totally believe in yourself.

Chapter one?

What did I do yesterday?

I didn't even get to the first page.

That's some sun, eh?

Sure is.

Not again.

I'm telling you, I burn like a marshmallow.

And wouldn't you know it, I forgot my sunscreen.

You mind lending me some of yours?

I don't know, I think you used it all up yester--

day.

Yesterday?

Yesterday, I was at work.

You see, I head up building maintenance

at WOOHP's Fiji branch.

If that sounds tough, it's cause it is.

The same story, too?

Like the other day.

I'm doing inventory on cleaning supplies

and wouldn't you know it, we're almost out of floor wax.

Oh, boy.

That one.

And this time, remember perm stands for permanent.

Number 195 C, slick and styling.

Excellent choice.

I'm Cher, you're computerized hairdo experimentation robot,

and I'll be styling your hair today.

No, duh.

Someone needs a memory upgrade.

Lifeguard, huh?

You can save my life any time.

That's my job, ma'am.

Again with the ma'am?

Well, I just thought you'd like to check out my new lip gloss.

Not exactly boring, is it?

No, it's awful.

I hate pink.

How rude!

[boom]

WOOHPtanic passengers, there is no cause for alarm.

Everything is under control by me, Colonel Nathaniel Nash!

Wait a second.

Didn't I dream this?

Don't bother trying to stop me, WOOHP agents.

You'll find yourselves quite outnumbered.

How come I knew it was going to say that?

[gasp]

Now that I control all the agents aboard the WOOHPtanic,

I will soon control WOOHP itself.

Not if me and my girls have anything to say about it.

Is it me, or is there something weird going on here?

You're not going to believe this, but this was in my dream.

Mine, too.

Well, it's real now.

I know.

You lure Colonel Nash here, and I'll take a little off the top.

Uh, thanks but no thanks, Cher.

You stick to cutting and curling, we'll stick to spying.

[sigh]

Oh, by the way, cute hair.

Thanks.

[grunts and thuds]

There's the anchor.

Colonel Nash can't take over the ship if the ship can't move.

Anchors away.

You know, didn't we learn something about anchors

at the WOOHP academy?

Like, not dropping them from a moving ship?

[crash]

It's too late!

Someone tell me we're not underwater.

Did you have another bad dream, too?

The same bad dream.

So did I, and my hairstyle didn't work out.

Again.

Well, I'm spending the day reading no matter what.

And I'm snagging me a lifeguard.

No guy can resist Boy Bait perfume.

Ow.

Didn't you do that before?

Yeah, it's like deja vu all over again.

Wait a minute.

Three bumps in three days.

So it wasn't all just a dream.

But if it wasn't a dream, then how come we're

not at the bottom of the ocean?

It's like our lives are on a continuous loop or something.

Hey, maybe it's like that movie where the guy repeats

the same day over and over and gets to eat anything

he wants because he'll never get fat.

Where are you going?

The dessert buffet.

Clover, we've got to put a stop to this.

Now everybody, be on your guard.

Someone is doing this to us, and we've got to find out who

and why.

Sorry, seat's taken.

And I'm out of sunscreen.

Sheesh.

And I thought I was wound up.

Phew.

CHER: Number 422 B, mohawk madness.

Excellent choice.

Yeah, whatever.

It will all be gone in the morning, anyway.

Hi.

Ma--

[sneeze]

So, do you like my new perfume?

Oh, I'm aller-- aller--

allergic.

[coughing]

This can't be happening.

[boom]

What's going on?

Oh, they're taking over the ship.

WOOHPtanic passengers, there is no cause for alarm.

Everything is all under control.

Yeah yeah, we know.

Come on, super spies, let's go.

Hey, maybe I can help.

Mm.

Don't think so.

You keep your eyes open for kitties

running too fast on the deck.

We super agents have a ship to save.

Cute hair.

Thanks.

[thuds and grunts]

We want to know what's going on, and we want to know now.

I'm just taking over the ship.

You know what I mean.

What kind of crazy machine are you using

to take control of our minds?

Oh, why it's the one over there.

Hah!

Spies overboard.

[laughter]

All right, that does it.

What are we doing wrong?

Am I going to have to get my hair done again?

Actually, you're lucky the last one didn't take.

We've got to find a way to break the cycle.

Come on, spies.

Let's get out there.

Oh, I can't go out there again, Sammy.

It's like watching the reruns on TV.

That's it.

Huh?

This is a WOOHP ship, right?

And Jerry always tapes everything we do.

Tell me about it.

So there must be a tape of us for the last three days.

And all we have to do is watch that tape

and figure out what we did wrong.

Let's go.

Hah.

[gasp]

Ow.

OK, now it's personal.

There's the pool feed.

I'll just go back to yesterday. - Yeah, yeah.

We know.

Come on, super spies, let's go.

Hey, maybe I can help.

Mm.

Don't think so.

You keep your eyes open for kitties

running too fast on the deck.

We super agents have a ship to save.

Cute hair.

Thanks.

You liked my hair?

I was being nice.

Wait a second.

The first day that Fiji agent offered to help, and I said no.

Yeah, and then Cher offered to help us the second day

and I said no.

That's what we're doing wrong.

We should have accepted everyone's help.

WOOHPtanic passengers, everything is under control

by me, Colonel Nathaniel Nash.

Come on, super spies.

It's now or never.

We're going to take you down, Nash.

Yeah? You and what army?

This army.

WOOHP agents unite.

Super spies Sam, Alex, and Clover

request your help immediately.

Guys?

I thought they wanted to help.

CLOVER: Guys?

[cheering]

OK, this is freaky.

Jerry?

Congratulations, super spies.

You've just passed the WOOHP super agent human assets test.

You mean this was just a big test all along?

Righto.

And everybody was in on it?

That's right, even me.

[gasp]

Hi, guys.

Jean.

I knew something was wrong.

I mean, hello, what real boy could possibly

reject me so many times?

But what about our vacation?

In recognition of a job well done

and for being quite good sports, I hereby approve a three week

holiday anywhere in the world.

OK, we choose Beverly Hills.

Beverly Hills?

And we'd like you to join us.

Me Me?

What on Earth for?

You know, I'm glad I'm a spy, after all.

Sure it's hard, but doing the same thing every day--

Like on the ship.

And at high school.

--is really boring.

Right, Jer?

You know, you girls could be in Hawaii right now.

Or Tahiti.

Or the south of France.

We just felt this was a better way to even the score.

I mean we wouldn't want you to fail the WOOHP commander

super stain remover test.

Aw.

[laughing]

I know you've all been wondering what keeps

me so up on the soccer field.

Well I wouldn't think of competing

without my favorite pre-soccer smoothie.

You start with guava juice, then the pine nectar,

then add macadamia nuts, unfiltered wheat grass juice,

half a plantain, a pinch of raw yeast,

two dill pickles, a puzzle waffle, and a breath mint.

Then hit frappe and--

Oh!

Or sometimes I just grab a low maintenance apple.

See you on the field.