Original subtitles

THEME SONG: Here we go.

We're getting out on the road till we stop,

and then we'll shop.

So one, two, three, now, baby.

Here we go, go, go.

Here we go.

Here we go on a mission undercover,

and we're in control, in control.

Here we go.

We're Totally Spies, so get on with the show.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go

[music playing]

[exclaims]

What the?

[shouts]

[bird screeches]

[music playing]

CLOVER: Please, I can barely even stay awake reading poetry.

I can't believe I have to write a poem for lit class.

I mean, what's the big deal about a bunch of rhyming words?

The big deal is that poetry is like the most romantic way

to express yourself.

It's the language of love.

[clover gasps]

CLOVER: Speaking of love, there's

a boy who talks my language.

Clover, sometimes I get the impression

that when David's around you completely ignore Sam and me.

Hi, David.

Hey, Clover.

So did you write your poem--

Hi, David.

[both growl]

So like I was saying, did you write a poem yet for lit class?

Oh, yeah, I did.

But I'm kind of afraid to hand it in.

I'm just not sure if it's good enough.

I love poetry and all, but I'm so afraid of rejection.

Really?

What a coincidence.

I love poetry, and I'm totally afraid of rejection, too.

Then you must be afraid all the time.

[laughs]

Hey, maybe after you write your poem,

we could get together and give each

other constructive criticism, kind of like a study date.

Did you say d-- date?

See you Saturday night.

[mandy screams]

Toodles, Mandy.

I'll let you know how our date turns out.

[grunts]

A poetry date?

Don't bother.

Sounds about as thrilling as watching nail polish dry.

[crowd shouts]

So what would you saying, Alex?

Just that every time David's around you completely ignore--

Oh, that reminds me.

I better call my personal shopper

and tell her to find the perfect outfit for my date with David.

Ah!

Evil cellphone battery, how can you

betray me at a time like this?

Come on.

Huh?

CLOVER: May I?

He'll call you back.

OK, now how do you even use one of these things?

Just put a quarter in the--

[all three shout]

I don't have time to get WOOHPed right now!

I have an important call to make!

[typing]

[totally spies shout]

Great.

Now I'll never learn how to use a payphone.

Hello, girls.

SAM AND ALEX: Hi, Jerry.

Jer, can't you use other WOOHP agents?

I have a date with David and--

No time, Clover.

I need you girls to investigate a series

of mysterious and violent abductions.

Fortunately, one intended victim managed to escape

an attack in his own home.

And you want us to pay that person to visit.

Correct.

Oh, and before I forget.

"You are cordially invited to the annual WOOHP company picnic

to be held at the Beijing zoo."

Sounds fun.

Oh, I wonder if it's too tacky to wear a leopard skin skirt.

As long as it's fake, I don't think the leopards'll mind.

By the way, attendance to the picnic is mandatory.

[clover shouts]

In that case, I'll RSVP now.

Me, too.

This totally reeks.

The picnic is the same day as my date with David.

There, there.

Boys come and go, but WOOHP is forever.

Now, here are your gadgets.

Tortoise shell magnifying shades.

Faux snakeskin parachute purse.

Net blaster mascara brush.

Scanner watch.

And the naugahyde biker chic lasso belt.

Oh, this'll Go great with my new pants.

[totally spies shout]

According to WOOHP, the manager's

a zoologist named Jacob.

Huh?

Ew, look at these nasty scratch marks.

Maybe Jacob should manicure his finger nails.

Finger nails?

More like claws.

JACOB: Who-- Who is it?

We're here to investigate your attack.

[chains rattle]

Uh, sorry about that.

After the attack, I just can't take any chances.

Do you have any idea who would have wanted to attack you?

Well, I don't have any enemies to speak of.

Everyone likes me.

I'm usually the life of the party.

Remind me to skip that party.

JACOB: One thing's for sure, though.

The person who attacked was cold and heartless.

He wore a fur coat made from a very

rare South American polar bear.

Heartless and unfashionable.

Fur is so out.

Do you mind if we come in and look around?

JACOB: Sure, no problem.

I'll make us some tea.

It's about the only thing that calms my nerves these days.

So did you tell David you have to call off the date yet?

No, and I'm really dreading it.

I know how sensitive he is about rejection.

Oh, well.

Here goes nothing.

[phone beeps]

Hi, David.

It's Clover.

Listen, there's something I need to tell you.

Hey, Clover.

Check out this poem I wrote about our date.

You wrote a poem about our date?

Clover, Clover, you are perfection.

I can't wait for our date.

I hate rejection.

So let me hear one of your poems.

Oh, uh, you know what, David?

Um, I'm going through the canyon.

[imitates static]

I'm losing you.

[imitates static]

[phone beeps]

Huh?

Could this day possibly get any worse?

[clattering]

[jacob screams]

JACOB: Help!

[sam gasps]

He's gone.

Who-- or should I say what-- abducted him?

Poor Jacob.

All that's left of him is his shoe.

This might actually tell us something.

I'll check it out with the tortoise shell

magnifying shades.

[shades beep]

Hey, there's a blond hair on it.

Let's run it through the scanner watch.

It's a hair from the same rare polar bear

Jacob was talking about.

So it must've been the same person who attacked

Jacob the last time because they're

still wearing the same coat.

Judging from the damage to that wall,

I'd say it was the bear itself.

Hello, we're in the middle of a city.

Last I knew, polar bears lived in the snow.

Let's call Jerry to see if there are any polar bears

in captivity around here.

Hello, girls.

Hi, Jer.

Do you have any record of South American polar bears

in captivity?

Let's see.

Oh, yes, there was one.

But it recently escaped, and oddly, it

was at the Beijing zoo, the same place we're

having our company picnic.

Which reminds me.

Do you think we should serve potato salad

or ambrosia at the picnic?

[sighs]

Neither. Thanks, Jer.

Gotta run.

But-- but I--

[compowder beeps]

[music playing]

I got it.

I got it.

If I tell David our date is off in a poem,

he won't take it so hard.

What rhymes with I'm dumping you?

ALEX: Uh, merci beaucoup?

SAM: Can you forget about your poem?

We've gotta get to the bottom of this case.

Oh, my new volunteers.

I'm glad you're here.

Three of my most reliable staff members

haven't shown up for work at all this week.

That's weird.

All the people who are missing seem to be animal workers.

We're glad to be able to help.

[gorilla grunts]

Did you see that?

He offered me the ball all by himself.

Good monkey.

Actually, Sherman is a gorilla.

They're a lot smarter than we give them credit for.

Now would you girls mind cleaning the polar bear

and condor cages?

Neither have been tended to since if the animals

went missing last week.

Maybe this is why the employees

stop showing up for work.

There's no sign of forced entry or exit

and no sign of foul play.

SAM: Maybe it was an inside job.

[sherman grunts]

[music playing]

[gun whirs]

SHADOWY MAN: Here you go, Sherman.

This should go a lot further than a bunch of bananas.

Hey. What are you doing?

Huh?

Sherman, what the?

Look, Sherman got loose.

[sherman growls]

Hold it right there.

Your cage is back that way.

[sam screams]

Did you see that?

He's like a track star.

Let's see how he does against my lasso belt.

[grunts]

Gotcha.

Don't be so quick to congratulate yourself.

I'm far too intelligent to fall prey

to your foolish little gadgets.

[all three gasp]

Ta-ta, ladies.

I'll see myself out.

OK, that was really unexpected.

Now who's the intelligent one?

I do not have time for your shenanigans.

[growls]

[alex screams]

ALEX: Put me down, you crazy monkey!

He's got Alex.

How dare you.

I'm a person.

[alex shouts]

OK, either I'm hallucinating or that gorilla just

drove off in a car with Alex.

I hope he's a better driver than she is.

This is crazy.

One second, a man was holding this device to Sherman's head.

The next, Sherman was behaving with human dexterity.

I wonder if this thing is responsible for the way

Sherman was acting.

OK, I wanna know who's responsible for that ape

slobbering all over me.

Ugh!

If he can drive, he can certainly

pay the dry cleaning bill.

ADAM: I better hurry back inside to make sure the rest

of the animals are secure.

SAM: And we better contact the authorities about Alex.

Sam, I know you're really into recycling,

but if you need a tissue, just ask.

Let's run this through the scanner watch.

Maybe we'll get a clue from Sherman's saliva.

Look, it says Sherman's DNA is half human, half simian.

Weird.

Let's check it out with Jerry.

Hello, girls.

What do you think coleslaw as a side dish?

I think we have more important issues than side dishes.

A talking, driving gorilla just kidnapped Alex.

Yeah, we just sent you a very strange DNA sample.

Well, I see what you mean by strange.

The human half of the DNA belongs to a zoologist.

I don't know who the gorilla half belongs to.

Jer, do you have an address with the zoologist?

JERRY: I've just forwarded it to your Compowder.

And, girls, need I remind you that I

want Alex safely returned and all of this

figured out quickly.

You need not remind us, Jerry.

CLOVER: OK, let's pay a visit to the zoologist

and see why his DNA is in Sherman's spit.

[music playing]

SAM: I hope Alex is OK.

You don't think Sherman would hurt her, do you?

Clover, hello?

Sorry.

Talking with Jer about the picnic

reminded me that I still have to cancel on David.

Just tell him you have to reschedule.

That way, he won't feel rejected, and you

still get to go out with him.

Reschedule, of course.

And if I tell him in a rhyme, he probably won't mind.

[phone ringing]

Hello, hello.

I hope you're not feeling low.

David here

Hi, David.

It's Clover.

I have something important to tell

you before this call is over.

Sorry, but I can't keep our date.

Can I move it to next Friday so I won't be late?

Wow, you are a good poet.

Unfortunately, I can't make it next Friday.

I've got a date with Mandy that night.

Ah! With Mandy?

[mandy laughs]

Never mind.

Saturday's just dandy.

[phone beeps]

[music playing]

Jacob, am I going to see you.

[jacob growls]

What did you do to them?

Silence.

And what have you brought me here, Sherman?

She and her spy friends tried to stop me

from escaping the zoo.

We were trying to save you.

A city street is no place for a mon-- a gorilla.

Pipe down, missy.

It appears my plan is coming together quite nicely.

I must congratulate you, Sherman, on a job well done.

Thank you, sir.

Without your selfless dedication,

I would still be living like an animal.

This place looks like it's seen better days.

Something about this veterinary hospital

smells fishy to me.

Huh.

Check out those paw prints.

What kind of animal walks on only two paws instead of four?

Another locked door.

I guess the only way to go is up.

Grab hold.

Mental note to self, never climb through a chimney

wearing dry clean only clothes.

Sam, Clover!

The talking animals put us in here,

and they did something weird to Jacob and the others.

Don't worry.

We'll get you guys out in a jiff.

Not so fast, ladies.

[growling]

CLOVER: Hey, paws off, you creeps!

Get comfortable, girls.

This is your new home from now on.

I don't know what you think you're doing, pal,

but I wouldn't count on us being in here for long.

I am not your pal.

My name is Dr. Fox, and what I think I'm doing

is empowering animals to rise up against the humans.

We've kept them in cages for so long.

Um, excuse me.

Am I the only one who thinks it's

a tad ironic that this wacko's name is Dr. Fox?

Is it your DNA mixed with Sherman's?

Credit my ingenious DNA transformer,

which allows animals to assimilate their DNA with mine,

thus increasing their brain power.

Now I'll transfer my DNA to this ordinary lab mouse.

[music playing]

[gun whirs]

Who you callin' ordinary?

Impressive, is it not?

It also works in reverse.

That is to say, I can administer animal DNA to humans.

[growling]

So you turned Jacob and the others into animals.

That's just cruel.

Now go forth and carry out our mission.

[sherman growls]

There's a new mission now, Dr. Fox,

to put all humans in cages.

But not before turning all of you into animals.

DR. FOX: Wait.

This isn't fair.

I liberated you.

[screams]

[pants]

That's bizarre and creepy.

And yet somehow it's an improvement.

Come, my brothers.

Time to free our friends and embark on total domination

of the human race.

Turn them all into animals.

Apparently, the animals' aggression is a side

effect Fox didn't count on.

[all gasp]

Easy does it, you brute.

LION: Quiet!

It'll all be over with soon.

We've gotta get out of here and do

something before Clover gets turned into who knows what.

SAM: There's our ticket out.

We just have to get him over here.

[alex gasps] - Ha!

Try this.

Good boy.

[gun whirs]

Hey, Lion King.

[alex grunts]

[clover screams]

Thanks so much, you guys.

I don't know what I would have done if--

[clover barks]

[sam and alex sigh]

Looks like you were administered

a little canine DNA.

What am I going to do now?

I have a date with David coming up.

We'll deal with it later.

Right now, we have to stop those animals.

[music playing]

Thank you, Sherman.

It's great to finally be liberated.

Don't mention it.

Power to the animals!

[music playing]

Oh, no.

We're too late.

[people shouting]

Adam's in trouble.

Hold on.

We better seal off the parking lot before the animals escape

into the city.

[adam grunting]

ADAM: Help!

Help!

All of my animals have turned on me.

They've put the zoo staff in the cages.

I'm glad to see you, too, Clover.

[animals shouting]

SAM: Maybe that wasn't my best idea ever.

[people shouting]

SHOPKEEPER: Oh, no!

[bell rings]

[totally spies gasp]

OK, spread out and round 'em up.

Round them up how?

With our gadgets.

Huh?

[music playing]

[sam pants]

Don't even think about it, Clover.

[moped revving]

Last I heard, you were king of the jungle,

not king of the city.

[alex shouts]

You're lucky I'm a fellow animal

or I'd make a purse and matching boots out of you.

[clover shouts]

Guys!

A little help?

Don't worry.

I think I can reverse the effects of the DNA transformer

with the unit from the zoo.

Oh, no.

Ugh.

Nice job, Sam.

Sam.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Let's clean these streets up.

[animals growl]

Way to go, guys!

You're driving all the animals back to the zoo.

Hey, it's working.

All except one, that is.

[alex shouts]

Let me go, you mon--

Don't call me a monkey!

The humans days are over.

The animals will rule the Earth.

Alex, catch!

Ah.

I hate to put a damper on your plans,

but take this, Mr. Monkey.

[sherman yells]

[alex sighs]

It worked.

[alex screams]

Alex, use your faux snakeskin parachute. purse.

ALEX: Close one.

Way to accessorize, Alex.

Now let's return the rest of the animals to normal.

[clover barks]

And you too, Clover.

[sighs]

[music playing]

JERRY: Congratulations, girls, on another job well done.

The whole experience made us realize how unhappy the animals

were in their cages.

I'm glad they decided to turn the zoo into a nature preserve.

Now everyone is happy.

Everyone except Clover, that is.

I guess I have no choice.

I have to call David and finally cancel our date.

[phone rings]

Hello?

CLOVER: Hi, David. It's Clover.

Listen, I have some bad news.

So do I. I don't know how to tell you this, Clover,

but I have to cancel our date.

You do?

Yeah, I forgot that I volunteered

to work at the Beverly Hills animal shelter today.

Sorry. - I can't believe it.

I feel so-- so rejected!

Well, I gotta go.

The animals are waiting.

David?

Wait.

Don't go.

I can't take this kind of rejection.

David!

[music playing]