Original subtitles

[music playing]

[theme - moonbaby, "here we go"]

THEME SONG: Here we go again.

We're getting on the road till we stop.

And then we'll shop.

So 1, 2, 3 now, baby, here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go on a mission undercover

and we're in control.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Totally spies get on with the show.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

[doorbell rings]

Hello.

Are you the woman of the house?

Why, yes.

I'm the woman of the house.

Well then today is your lucky day.

I'd like to introduce you to our fabulous new line of Sally

Kay suburban cosmetics.

[gasps]

[screaming]

BOY 1: So when do I get my secret MIG pin?

CLOVER: Huh?

BOY 2: Immediately following your final initiation.

Just remember the first rule of MIG--

no girls allowed.

If you mention the club to anyone,

it's grounds for immediate expulsion.

No girls allowed, huh?

We'll see about that.

Hey boys.

Whatcha' talking about?

Uh, nothing, Clover.

We were just debating what our overall body

mass would weigh on Mercury.

Would that be with or without your MIG pins?

Ha ha ha.

Hmm. - [gasps]

I wonder what everyone in school

would think of your secret club.

I'll think I'll go take a poll.

Oh, hold it.

Nigel keep lookout.

[disgusted sigh]

You wouldn't be interested.

It's just a boring club that does boring boy things.

That's why girls aren't allowed.

Hello.

I'm not just any girl.

If you want your club to have any credibility whatsoever,

you need a member like yours truly.

And I won't take no for an answer.

OK.

We'll have to check with the QB and get back with you.

Yeah. you do that.

But don't take too long.

CLOVER: So I said, I won't take no for an answer.

And he said he'd have to check with the QB--

whatever that means.

Wow, a secret club.

That sounds so mysterious and exciting, Clover.

Yeah.

Now, what exactly does this club do again?

Who knows what those geeks do, and who cares?

The point is, no one shuts Clover out of any campus club.

[rattling]

[gasps]

Some seniors probably stuffed a freshman in the closet

as a prank.

They used to stuff me behind the soda machine.

[wind blowing]

[screaming]

Sorry about that, ladies.

Sometimes the WOOHP tunnels get a bit crossed up.

Do us a favor and uncross them before you WOOHP us again, Jer.

Girls, allow me to introduce you to my new assistant, Dinah.

[all] Hi.

It's a pleasure to finally meet you.

I'm thoroughly impressed with your work.

Thanks.

Welcome to the WOOHP team.

JERRY: It has come to WOOHP's attention

that there has been a silent and disturbing phenomena

occurring across the world, and it has

now reached the United States.

Wow, can you get the shopping channel on that thing?

[clears throat]

It seems that peaceful women are suddenly acting

aggressively-- lashing out at friends,

coworkers and strangers.

Each light on the map represents where attacks have occurred.

Wow, that's a lot of lights.

Precisely.

We haven't been able to get to the bottom of this anomaly.

That's where you girls come in.

Thank you, Dinah.

I don't know how I got along without you.

Now for the gadgets--

expandable cable bungee belts, wind tunnel 3000 tornado

blast hair dryer, 24 exposure mini

barrette camera, coil rope hair bun, and the ever faithful jet

pack backpacks.

Look how cute this little camera--

[shrieking]

How about some tea, Dinah-- and some

of those wonderful homemade cookies you brought in?

I recommend ginseng.

It'll give you a nice, healthy energy boost.

[keyboard clicks]

Hello?

Miss Jones?

That's weird.

The receptionist said she was in.

I say we take this opportunity to look for some clues.

Keep an eye on the door.

[stomping sound]

Miss Jones?

MISS JONES: Did that [inaudible] woman

send you to finish me off?

No.

As a matter of fact, we're from WOOHP,

and we're investigating your case.

[horror music]

Good luck finding a turtle neck

that'll fit over that thing.

Miss Jones, do you have any idea

what provoked your attacker?

Maybe all the orange you were wearing made her go berserk--

you know, like red makes bulls crazy.

I've always found my outfit to be very soothing.

It's almost as if the very fact that I was selling

beauty products infuriated her.

All of a sudden her eyes-- they started glowing red,

and she put me in a headlock.

According to Miss Jones's police report, whoever attacked

her used an entire arsenal of wrestling moves.

If you asked me, I think she's still reeling

from the effects of the attack.

What was that nonsense about the attacker's glowing red?

[notification beep]

Hey.

An email.

It's an invitation to some event called Women of Wrestling,

tonight in Beverly Hills.

Who'd want to go to some sweaty, stinky wrestling match?

Me-- if it was called Hunky Men of Wrestling.

Yeah, I'll pass.

OK.

Next stop, McAllen, Texas.

Apparently a team of male bowlers

were attacked by a mob of angry women.

[engine revs]

[horn honking]

[bowling ball hits pins]

MAN IN BOWLING ALLEY: All the women were

big, buff, and very aggressive.

They came out of nowhere and ambushed us

right here on the lanes.

So you didn't provoke the attack?

Not unless minding your own business provokes them.

The strangest thing was, Mrs. Dinsmore, the alley owner,

she was one of them.

I've never seen her act like that before.

Okay, that bowling shirt is enough to send

anyone into a fit of rage.

Maybe we should check Mrs. Dinsmore's office for clues.

[bowling ball hits pins]

Let's see if the alley's security

system recorded the attack.

[sounds of struggle]

Look, the women are using wrestling

moves to thrash those bowlers--

just like in Miss Jones's police report.

OK.

I'm getting a distinct wrestling vibe from all these attacks.

If only we could figure out the connection.

Hey guys-- check out this screen saver.

WOW?

Hey, that's the same invitation I got earlier today.

But it's addressed to Mary Dinsmore.

I think we might have just found that wrestling connection

you were looking for, Sammy.

SAMANTHA: Huh, it's invitation only.

Looks like you guys are going to have to find another way in.

No prob.

Come on, Alex.

Invitation?

[screaming]

Welcome to the show, sister.

[screaming]

[thuds]

[cheering]

Do they hold these WOW events here often?

This is the first I heard of it.

I just got the invitation this morning.

Yeah, so did I.

Let's get ready to wrestle.

[bell]

[screaming]

ALEXANDRA: Let's see if those Amazons

left any clues back here.

Just keep a low profile.

I don't want to end up on the wrong end

of one of their headlocks.

The last night of recruiting is upon us.

The sisterhood shall finally prevail.

[suppressed scream]

Did you see how big those women were?

Yeah, and I felt it, too.

Let's check out that room.

There's an air vent above the door.

[crawling sounds]

This is it.

There's more junk in here than in Jerry's closet.

Huh.

[cell phone]

Hello, it's Mandy.

Mandy?

Listen, I don't know what boy you think I stole from you,

but this isn't the time.

Oh it's nothing like that.

I just wanted to tell you that I heard you wanted

to join that secret boys club.

CLOVER: Wait, how do you know about that?

MANDY: Oh, please.

I'm only like the most in the know person at Beverly High.

CLOVER: So, what's it to you?

Just FYI-- I've been putting pressure on the boys

to allow you to join.

Us girls have to stick together.

Later.

I wonder what she's trying to pull.

[sound of key]

[gasps]

[scary music]

[sounds of struggle]

Yeah, you go girl.

[cheering]

Now to extend my army.

[crowd gasps]

Tonight, the sisterhood is gaining power.

Tomorrow we shall take our rightful place in this world,

after eradicating all men and the women

who are not the chosen ones.

[pulsating sound]

[grunt]

[cheering]

[evil laughter]

ALEXANDRA: And they say wrestling

doesn't promote violence.

This is crazy.

We've got to find Sam.

In this crowd?

How?

Jet pack backpacks.

There she is. - Sam.

Am I glad we found you.

Hello?

Rude much?

What's with the cold shoulder treatment?

[grunt]

You are enemies of the sisterhood.

[fighting]

Stop it, Sam.

Why are you acting this way?

The fire of our cause burns deep inside that one.

Bring her to me.

[screams]

CLOVER: You'd think WOOHP could make a garbage proof uniform.

Where'd everybody go?

I'd better call her.

Hello girls.

How's the mission going?

The mission totally reeks.

Sam turned into a raging nutcase, and attacked us.

Oh my.

That isn't good.

Jerry, do you have any info on something

called the sisterhood?

I suggest we check WOOHP's worldwide database.

Let me bring it up for you.

Thank you, Dinah.

Well, it appears the sisterhood is an ancient group

of warrior women.

Long believed to be a myth, their goal

was to be the supreme rulers of the earth

by eliminating all men, and weak females.

Thanks, Jer.

We're going to send you digital images of some clues we just

collected.

Excellent.

Ta-ta.

This whole sisterhood business sounds like a bunch

of superstitious garbage to me. - I don't know.

Sam was acting pretty freaky.

[engine revving]

Let's check out our clues.

Here's that weird book I saw.

What do you think it is?

Looks like some sort of list.

Hey, there's Sam's name, and Sam's mom's name,

and her grandmother's name.

ALEXANDRA: Look, there's Mary Dinsmore's

name, and her mother's name.

It's like a family tree.

And all the names lead back to Ariel.

ALEXANDRA: This must be the female lineage

of the sisterhood.

That's how Ariel tracks down her warriors.

Then Ariel invites them to a wrestling show,

and somehow hypnotizes them.

But then where does she take them?

Maybe Ariel's footprint can tell us something.

Ariel's footprint is 100% volcanic ash, that's

found only at Mount St. Helens.

I bet that's where we'll find Ariel's hideout,

and hopefully, Sam.

Girls, I've broken the code of the stone calendar-- well,

with a little help from Dinah.

It seems the sisterhood stone must

be used when the first full moon of fall appears.

This year it lands on November 2nd.

That's at midnight tonight.

We have less than two hours to stop Ariel and save Sam.

Well then, you'd better get going.

[engine revs]

All right.

Let's move fast, while we have the element of--

[screaming]

Surprise.

ARIEL: Well, well.

What do we have here?

A couple of pathetic, girly girls trying to ruin my plans?

You're calling us pathetic?

You're the one trying to take over the world with wrestling.

Bring Bring them to the proving ground.

I don't like the sound of that.

ARIEL: I've waited too long for this night

to let it be spoiled by a pair of hyperactive, teenage brats.

[snaps fingers]

Sam?

Extinction to the unworthy.

They say you only hurt the ones you love.

Your spy girlfriend is going to prove that true.

[evil laughter]

11:50.

We only have 10 minutes left to stop Ariel.

Sam, snap out of it.

It's us, Alex and Clover.

Remember?

We're your best friends in the whole wide world.

Enemies of the sisterhood are no friends of mine.

OK, Sam, the bloodshot eyes and the hissing thing

is getting a little old.

[sounds of struggle]

Perfect alignment of the universe is mere minutes away.

I will awaken our fellow sisters worldwide,

and we will rise up and take what is rightfully ours.

Long live the sisterhood.

ALL: Long live the sisterhood.

Long live the sisterhood.

[screaming]

Submit now, and I shall bring about your demise mercifully.

OK, how about I submit now, and we both get a relaxing Chai

latte, and talk things over?

[running]

Nothing personal, but we're not ready for demise just yet.

Ha.

What's going on?

How did I get here?

Why am I covered in mud?

Don't you remember?

Remember what?

You've been Ariel's hypnotic trance

since the wrestling show.

You're one of the chosen ones.

Why would I be a chosen one?

Blame your great great great grandmother.

She was a chosen one.

It's in your blood.

That is superstitious nonsense.

There must be some other explanation.

OK.

That's what I thought at first.

But two seconds ago, your eyes were glowing,

and you were trying to pummel us.

The mud must be blocking out the power of Ariel's stone.

Huh, we only have three minutes to stop Ariel.

[evil laughter] - Get rid of them.

Wrestle your way out of that.

It's starting.

[screaming and grunting]

Long live the sisterhood.

Your day is over, sister.

My day has just begun.

[shrieks]

Must fight it.

Come back to me.

It's your destiny to be a warrior.

Volcanic ash.

[sound of hair dryer]

No.

Oh.

No.

[sound of cracking]

Take that.

Ha.

[screaming and grunting]

I don't think this assistant job

is going to work out, Dinah.

I'll be back, and one day the sisterhood shall reign supreme.

It's like she just disappeared.

Where'd she go?

Who cares as long as she's gone?

Something tells me we haven't seen the last of Ariel.

CLOVER: Where are we going?

MANDY: Hurry up.

It's a big surprise.

CLOVER: Hey, what's going on?

BOY 1: Silence, Pledge.

Do you promise to never mention our secret club to anyone,

to uphold the MIG code of honor, and, above all else,

promise your love and support to the QB?

Um, I guess so.

BOY 1: Then by the power vested in me as your appointed leader,

I swear you in and declare you an official member of MIG.

All right.

This is more like it.

Now, does someone want to tell me

what this QB business is all about?

You mean, the queen bee.

The queen of MIG.

OK.

So what's MIG.

Mandy is great.

Our club celebrates the most beautiful girl in school.

Huh.

Mandy's the QB?

MANDY: Of course I am.

Now for your initiation.

Massage my feet with this duck feather.

It's the only thing that relaxes me after a long day at school.

Let me out of here.

BOY 1: There's no out.

Once you're in, you're a member for life.

Any time now, Clover.

Don't keep the queen bee waiting.

[evil laughter]

[screaming]

[theme music]