Original subtitles

[theme - moonbaby, "here we go"]

THEME SONG: Here we go.

We're getting on the road till we stop, and then we'll shop.

So one, two, three now, baby, here we go, go, go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

On a mission undercover, and we're in control.

Here we go.

Here we go.

We're totally spies so get on with the show.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

[dog barking]

Enjoy your stay, professor.

You're going to be locked up for a long, long time.

We'll see about that.

[music playing]

No, no, no.

Ha, Take this, alien low-life.

Well, that's impossible.

How can I be melted when I clearly have on my power belt?

Oh?

Good morning, Jerry old boy.

Good day, Mr. President.

Do we have a situation, sir?

Situation?

Heck no.

I just like using the red line because

of the hands-free feature, see?

Impressive, sir.

Thanks.

Anyhow, how 'bout you and me doing

some fly fishing this weekend?

And maybe chewing the fat about you joining

the A-team here in Washington.

A White House appointment, sir?

PRESIDENT (ON SCREEN): Exactly.

[gasp]

So get your secret spy self down here real quick-like.

Yes, sir.

Oh, just one more thing.

[music playing]

Ladies, without a doubt, we are lean,

mean, retail shopping machines.

Yeah, we came, we saw, we kicked sidewalk sale butt.

Strike a pose time?

We have to.

I mean, good friends, the mall--

[giggling]

This is definitely a say cheese moment.

[camera clicks]

[laughter]

[screaming]

Bravo, ladies.

I trust your ride was pleasant.

As pleasant as being sucked through a wind tunnel vortex

can be.

Not to mention the vortex hair.

I'm sorry, girls.

But I needed your help on an extremely important mission.

The president and I are off to fish.

Off to fish?

Is that like some kind of secret code?

No, no.

No code.

Actual fishing.

The president has invited me to his lakeside retreat

to discuss a White House appointment.

I'm sorry, did I miss something?

Because I'm not getting the connection.

You fishing, important mission, and us?

The president has requested that three of my top agents

oversee the safekeeping of his daughter, Madison.

We're babysitting?

Well, if you want to put it that way.

But this mission is extremely important to me.

Huh?

Well, we do you hang out at the West Wing.

And it's not like some sleep over pillow fight thing, right?

Absolutely right.

So are you going to give us some gadgets, or what?

Oh, yes, yes, gadgets.

For this mission we have the padded shoulder

portable parasail, the expandable cable bungee belt,

the friendship ring zirconium tracker,

and numerous net grenades.

Well, if we're all equipped, the White House awaits.

[screaming]

Perhaps you girls should have buckled up.

And maybe we should have called first.

[music playing]

Cool office.

It's so round.

Actually, it's oval.

You know, as in Oval Office

Well, put a rattlesnake in my pocket and ask me for a match.

How y'all doing, Bubba?

I'm very well, sir.

Bubba?

What's a bubba?

Got me.

I'm still trying to figure out that rattlesnake thing.

I'll take it from here, Nesfield.

10-4, sir.

Mr. President, I'd like you to meet

three of WOOHP's top agents, Sam, Clover, and Alex.

Howdy, ladies.

Huh?

And this is my daughter, Madison.

And her nanny, Mrs. Quivers.

My father told me how you guys go around saving

the world and stuff.

I just wanted to say thank you.

Oh, sure.

Absolutely.

No biggie.

Well, ladies, I'm going to have to steal Jerry

away while the fishing's good.

Mrs. Quivers will fill you in.

Here's Madison's afternoon schedule,

Madison's recreation schedule, and Madison's schedule

of schedules. I believe that's everything.

Um, don't you want to stick around a while?

You know, see how we do?

Sorry, it's my day off.

I'm out of here.

Well, Maddie, I guess it's just us.

Want to start with the lunch schedule?

Schedule?

Please, like I'm really going to listen to a bunch

of bubble headed valley girls.

Whoa, reality check.

Did someone just replace the cute kid with some evil twin?

And hello, we are so not from the valley.

We're from Beverly Hills.

Whatever.

But if you want to survive today, then follow these rules.

Don't bug me, and maybe I won't bug you.

Get it?

Got it?

Good.

Well, I can see how this has fun

afternoon written all over it.

Madison, you really shouldn't be

eating ice cream before lunch.

Huh?

Fine, take it.

[laughing]

[music playing]

OK, where'd she go?

Oh, sorry.

Not!

This kid is about to catch some serious Sam-itude.

Maybe we should cool down.

I mean, she is only 11.

OK, if this is what 11-year-olds do,

then I'm sending my kids to military school

right after kindergarten.

Oh, Madison, auntie Sam wants to have a word with you.

Oops, maybe it was the other way.

Sorry, nice papier mache.

Oh, Madison, auntie Sam wants to have

a word with you real bad.

We just want to talk.

Please?

OK, kid.

Open up, or we're busting in.

I'm counting to three.

One, two--

Oh, sorry.

I didn't mean to get you guys so mad.

I was just having fun.

I never get to have fun.

It's always Madison do this, and Madison do that.

Oh, never mind.

You wouldn't understand.

I can't believe you losers fell for that.

Psych!

Ha ha!

That little punk just totally played us.

Ugh, she is so in trouble.

She's, like, majorly grounded times two.

Is there a problem, girls?

Uh, what makes you think there's

a problem Agent Nesfield?

Aggressive banging, bedroom access being denied.

Access denied?

No, no.

We could access if we wanted to.

But, um, we just don't want to.

Yeah, because, um, we feel Madison

needs a little alone time.

So we're going to go make her some lunch.

See ya.

The presidential kitchen.

Let's see what's behind door number one.

[gasp]

Huh?

OK, wasn't expecting that at all.

Maybe we should make some brownies.

Ooh, brownies.

Now you're talking.

I meant for Madison.

You know, as sort of a peace offering.

Peace offering?

With that brat?

Why?

Imagine what it's like for her.

Your whole life scheduled, Secret Service

everywhere you go.

Even your babysitters work for the government.

OK.

But if she pulls one more prank, I am

giving her a brownie makeover.

Madison, open up, we made brownies.

And we were hoping we could, you know, start over.

Rude much.

[screaming]

Madison, are you OK?

Where is she?

President's kid or not, if this

is another one of her stupid--

MADISON: Out here!

Bug things kidnapping her.

Help!

Here's the plan.

You guys keep the itsy bitsy spider busy while I swoop down

and pick up Madison.

Got it.

Check.

Activate padded shoulder parasail.

Help!

[screaming]

Help!

Someone remind me to write my Congressman

and demand all government buildings to padded.

Come on.

Nesfield's coming.

Quick, go to cool cover.

Girls, is there a--

- We're good. - Nope.

Thanks for asking.

Hm.

We're too late!

No clues, no nothing.

It doesn't make sense.

Someone or something takes the president's daughter,

but there's no ransom note.

Poor Madison.

That thing took her by such surprise,

she didn't get to log off from her chat room.

Hm.

Of course.

Why leave a ransom note when you can leave--

Mr. President, I'll be brief.

If you'd like to see your daughter again,

prisoner 34343 in Maryland's maximum security prison

is to be brought to the top of the Washington Monument

in exactly two hours.

Daddy, please hurry.

[gasp]

Yes, daddy.

Hurry.

Maybe we should tell Nesfield to call the president.

And there goes Jerry's chance for a promotion, too.

NESFIELD: Agent Nesfield here.

[gasp]

Uh, must a minute.

Girls, you can't keep the president waiting.

Where's Madison?

Uh, uh, she's-- she's in the bathroom.

11-year-olds, eyeliner freaks.

But I'll talk.

Hi, Mr. President, it's Sam.

How are the fish biting?

The fish?

Shoot, they're jumping out of the water like fleas on a pup,

at least on my side of the boat.

So, uh, how's my little girl?

You're not getting in any trouble I hope.

Trouble?

No, she--

She's fine.

I mean, what kind of trouble could a cute kid like Madison

get into?

It's not like someone's going to kidnap her for ransom, right?

What?

Nothing.

Well, better get back to those fishies.

Buh-bye.

Sir, ground floor is reporting a loud crash

outside the library.

Something just fell out of the sky.

I'll be back.

We'll be right here.

Not.

Come on, we've got to get Madison back

before Nesfield figures us out.

How do we do that?

The kidnapper wants to trade for that prisoner.

Not a problem.

What exactly are we looking for?

Overcoats, hats, anything that'll

fool the kidnapper into thinking one of us is the prisoner.

Check this out.

I don't even want to think about that pajama party.

Come on, keep looking.

[camera clicks]

KIDNAPPER: They're here.

Let's go.

Why is it always the top of the monument?

I mean, why can't prisoner exchanges ever take place

in the monument gift shop?

That would be too easy.

Hold on, where's the president's daughter?

You get the girl on the way up,

I take my friend here and go down.

Shall we?

[screams]

What is this?

Time for you to get busted.

[music playing]

Quick, we've got to beat him to Madison.

Oh, great, more stairs.

That was, like, way to close.

[screaming]

Hit the deck!

You know, I remember when babysitting

was a whole lot easier.

Tell me about it.

We just lost the baby. SAM: Not exactly.

[screaming]

Hang in there, ladies.

Guys, do something.

I'm on it, Clover.

Grab on.

Can't.

It's moving too much.

Alex!

[screaming]

Palms out, Sam.

We're coming for you.

I stuck a friendship ring tracker on the spooky guy

when he and I tumbled downstairs.

We just have to follow the blinking light.

They're heading north over Pennsylvania Avenue.

Let's go!

This is it.

Tracker's blipping like crazy.

On three we bust in.

One, two three.

Oh my.

Mrs. Quivers?

What are you doing here?

No time for that, Clover.

We've got to get her out of here before the kidnapper shows up.

I'm afraid it's too late for that, my dear.

Because I am the kidnapper.

[all gasping]

Bring in the girl.

Now I understand how you pulled off a kidnapping

from the White House so easily.

But what's the connection to the mad scientist guy in prison?

That mad scientist guy happens to be my husband.

Husband?

Yes, I simply don't want the father of my twins rotting

in jail for the next 100 years.

You see, Mrs. Quivers is really one half

of the famous Spetlander Gang.

The counter espionage group that

threatened world destruction by detonating

explosive devices at vulnerable earthquake fault lines

across the continents?

That's right.

We were just one tiny microchip away

from holding the world hostage.

Hard to believe, hm?

Yeah, I'll say.

I mean, that guy's, like, barely half your height.

My dear, love is not measured in inches.

Aw, that is so sweet.

Unfortunately, your interfering with

my ransom plans has forced me to threaten

the president face-to-face.

Robby, Bobby, start the cell walls.

[screaming]

Stop!

Don't hurt them.

Sorry, but they've given me no choice.

But I'll--

No!

Oh, I almost forgot, girls, thanks

for filling in for me today.

It was a great day off.

[door closes]

Great, now what?

In a minute, we're going to be Swiss cheese.

Wait, this cell dropped down on us from the ceiling, right?

Yeah, so in case you haven't noticed,

it's made of really, really heavy metal that can be lifted.

Maybe we can't lift it, but I bet our bungee belts could.

Quick, tie your belts around one corner.

Point the bunge hooks for the sky light.

Ready, aim, fire!

We got it.

Cool idea, Sam.

It was bungee-rific.

Thanks, but now we've got to figure out a way

to beat Quivers to the lake.

Maybe we could call ahead to Jerry.

So the president can find out how majorly bad we messed up?

Don't think so.

I think I've got an idea.

[gasp]

[music playing]

Well, Jerry old boy, looks like you hooked yourself

a fighting, squirming size 12 double D.

Maybe we should call it quits.

Or maybe you should call the Maryland state

prison and free prisoner 34343.

Mrs. Quivers, I thought you had the day off today.

What's going on?

What's going on, Mr. President,

is the ransoming of your precious daughter.

Call the prison, or Maddie takes a swim class with the fishes.

I don't understand.

You don't need to understand.

All you need to do is take out your cell phone and dial.

Now!

I'm so sorry, sir.

My agents should have prevented this.

Listen, it's the president.

Patch me through to warden Jenkins,

Maryland maximum security real quick-like.

Warden, listen I need you to--

Huh?

Direct hit.

Not good.

Bring it on, Bobby, or Bobby, or whoever.

Nice synchronized splash, girlfriend.

Sorry, you probably have to work

on your boating safety skills.

Ride's over, miss clingy.

Nice fly fishing, Jerry.

Yes, I'd say I just nabbed myself the catch

of the day, Mr. President.

[music playing]

You and Madison OK, Mr. President?

We're fitter than a firefly on the 4th of July

thanks to the spies and old Jerry here.

What do you say we head back to the White House

and cook up some of those fish you caught, Mr. President?

[laughing]

[music playing]

Thank you, Mr. President.

But you really didn't have to do all of this.

Sorry, but if you risk life and limb for my family,

you're getting a tip of the old ten-gallon.

Enough said.

So I just wanted to say, you know, I'm sorry about before.

Where I was wrong about you guys.

You're OK.

Thanks.

You're pretty OK yourself.

You know, Mr. President, about me coming to work for you--

I know where you're going with this, Jerry.

You're right, stealing you from WOOHP

would be a downright disservice to the country.

So I accept your formal withdrawal.

You do?

Thank you, sir.

Thank you very much.

Well, guess it's bye, y'all.

Maddie and I have to start looking for a new nanny.

Sorry, Jer.

I know how much you wanted that position.

But the truth is we're totally psyched you're still our boss.

Ladies, after seeing the three of you in action,

I'm glad I'm still your boss, too.

Huh?

Hugs.

[theme music]