Original subtitles

[theme - moonbaby, "here we go"]

THEME SONG: Here we go.

We're getting on the road till we stop.

And then we'll shop.

So one, two, three, now, baby, here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go on a mission undercover

and we're in control.

Here we go.

Here we go.

We're Totally Spies, so we'll get on with the show.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

[rock music playing]

[cheering]

Thank you, Amsterdam!

Good night!

[cheering continues]

Oh, I forgot my pen.

I'll be right back.

Hey!

Who are-- ah!

(MUFFLED) let me go!

I'm so psyched to try this.

I heard Power Yoga Chi-kwondo is the best

spot to get a good workout and meet cute guys.

Just try to keep up and don't embarrass me.

Yoga's a snap.

I doubt we'll even break a sweat.

[gong sounding]

Hell.

I'm Shirley.

Welcome to my world of pain.

I've got a bad feeling about this.

Follow me, if you dare.

Long Tiger.

[roaring]

Squatting Bear.

[growling]

Skipping Goat.

[bleating]

Maybe we should have started with the beginner class.

I think Shirley has issues. - Oh!

I didn't realize it was Help the Needy day.

Hello, Mandy.

What are you doing here?

I was just getting an aromatherapy bath.

Ugh. You three should try one.

What's with the bandage?

It's a tattoo.

Tats are totally in right now.

I'm having a coming out pool party for the unveiling

this Saturday.

Only the coolest people are going to be there.

You and Sam are coming, right, Clover?

We are?

You two qualify.

I think it's cool that you two can

walk around with last year's hairstyles

and still act secure.

- What about me? - Ha!

As if.

You are definitely not cool enough.

Not cool enough?

Later, girls.

See you on Saturday.

I think what we all need right now is a nice sauna.

What does Mandy know about being cool?

Did you see those hip-huggers she was wearing yesterday?

Hello, 1970s calling.

I'm not cool enough?

Chyeah, right.

I bet if I got a tattoo, I'd so be invited to that party.

I'll show her.

What do you guys think?

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad getting a tattoo.

Alex, gross!

Tattoos are, like, permanent.

OK, this is a little more sauna than I had in mind.

Hello, girls.

Sorry to have dragged you away from your conversation

just when things were getting a bit steamy.

Hello, not funny much.

Couldn't you have waited?

We're all stinky.

I'm afraid we've got a situation.

The leading nations of the world are getting ready to begin

talks on world unity.

The talks are scheduled to begin following

a unity concert held in Russia.

Unfortunately, one of the singers of the headlining act

has disappeared.

This act is a favorite of the Russian president's daughter.

If they don't appear, the talks could be in jeopardy.

Who's the headlining act?

The platinum-selling boy band Teensicle.

Teensicle?

Oh my gosh.

I love them!

They're our favorite band this week!

[screaming]

OK.

Which member disappeared?

I believe his name is Mikey?

Mikey?

He's the cute, sensitive one.

What's the big deal?

They're just wannabes.

Since when aren't you a fan, Alex?

Since always.

I prefer the old-school boy bands

who were popular last year when being a boy band

meant something.

Bands like Boy Candy.

I like to keep a few pictures handy.

This is T-Bone, the lead singer.

He is way hot.

Whatever!

So when do we get to meet them?

They so have to know I am their number one fan.

Clover, try and focus on the mission.

[screaming]

Hm. Yes.

Well-- [screaming]

--maybe we should get another WOOHP team to--

- What? - No way!

We'll be good!

Promise!

Very well.

WOOHP would like you girls to go undercover as presidents

of the Teensicle fan club.

This will give you access to interview

the remaining two members.

Keep an eye on them in case the kidnapper returns.

World unity hangs in the balance on this one, girls.

Now, let's take a look at your gadgets.

Scanner watches.

Laser lipstick.

Expendable cable bungee belts.

And a new device the boys are calling flavaphones--

functioning stereo headphones that

release a protective, crash-proof Afro when

activated.

Girls, it's time to rock and roll.

[yelling excitedly]

[gasps]

So you girls are presidents of our fan club?

That's right.

We heard about Mikey's abduction and thought you might

need some help with the tour.

I'll start.

Who needs a hug?

Sam, the mission.

Concentrate.

Mikey's disappearance has got us pretty freaked out.

I mean, a year ago, we were orphans, living on the street,

begging for food.

Aw, you guys were orphans?

Oh.

No, not really.

That's just something the promo department came up with.

Gives us street cred.

Our parents are super cool.

We're just doing the boy band thing to jumpstart

our acting careers.

Well, don't worry.

We're here to make sure everything goes smoothly.

You guys have nothing to fear with us around.

That felt like a herd of buffalo.

Yeah, a herd of buffalo wearing pumps.

[groans]

Need a hand?

Thanks.

Huh?

Mikey?

You're all right?

Sure.

Why wouldn't I be?

Because you were kidnapped, weren't you?

What?

That's crazy talk.

I just took off to the desert.

Been lying in mud, watching the cactus flowers

bloom for the last few days.

Dude!

You're back!

We thought something happened to you.

No, I'm fine.

Let's sign some autographs.

Uh, so what now?

Is the mission over?

This is totally bogus.

I need at least another hour to make one of them

fall in love with me.

Wait a sec.

Since when does Mikey have a double chin?

And I distinctly remember reading

that each member of Teensicle has a 30-inch waist.

Something's not right.

Oh, well.

For now, I guess it looks like the mission's over.

Time to head home.

Give it up, girlfriend.

Our shot at rock and roll lifestyle is not to be.

There's just something we missed.

I'm sure of it.

[giggling]

Ew.

Will you look at that?

You are definitely coming to my party on Saturday.

I might even let you pull of my bandage.

Uh, great.

David totally think she's cool!

That's it.

I'm getting a tattoo.

Something that will really impressed people, like a flower

or a pair of espadrilles.

A flower?

[beeping]

I think I found something.

Remember what Mikey said about watching the cactus

flowers bloom in the desert?

Well, cactus flowers don't bloom for another three months.

Why would one of my possible boyfriends-to-be lie?

Teensicle's playing a concert tonight in London

before they leave for Russia.

Maybe we should make an appearance.

[cheering wildly]

[banging]

What song is this?

It sounds like "Love Omelette," their encore number.

Hey!

Thank you, London!

Good night!

What do we do?

[groaning]

It's spy time.

DJ: Help!

Please! CLOVER: There!

I see him!

I bruise easily!

I'm like a fragile peach when I'm mishandled!

[gasps]

[crying]

There's too many of them!

We'll never get out of the way in time!

Quick!

The flavaphones!

That's what I call wigging out.

Let's take this loser down.

ALL: One, two, three.

[crying]

Daddy, help me!

We're too late!

Curtain call, ladies.

Arg!

Huh?

DJ?

What happened?

Where's the guy who was trying to kidnap you?

Guy?

What guy?

There's no one in the elevator but me.

OK, we definitely saw somebody grab you.

And you were screaming about being a fragile peach.

I think someone's playing a little trick on you girls.

I'm fine.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a plane to catch to Russia.

Hello! Am I here?

Did that just happen?

SAM: Guys, look at this.

Ew!

Sam, don't touch.

I'm just going to take a sample to scan.

Collagen?

Isn't that the stuff rich old ladies put in their lips?

So whoever left this pile must have had really big lips, then.

Not quite.

Check this out.

It's wire!

Something written on the side.

"Starlight Studios."

Hey!

These are posters for Boy Candy.

You know, they might make a cool tattoo.

I could get all three members of Boy Candy spread across my--

We'll talk tattoos later.

We don't have much time before the unity concert.

[muffled yelling]

Who are they?

Oh my gosh!

Their clothes!

Those are the same outfits Mikey and DJ

were wearing at the concert.

Whoa.

That's not Mikey and DJ.

It is us!

I'm Mikey.

And I'm DJ.

No way!

You're both, like, way old.

You're totally in your 30s.

Somebody stole our faces.

Oh.

Gross.

How can we prove to you we're telling the truth?

Hm.

Ah.

What's your favorite food?

Mac and cheese.

With chopped hot dogs.

- Ideal girlfriend? - Smart.

- Modest. - Makes us laugh.

- Loves animals. - But prefers dogs.

Because we're allergic to cats.

It's them!

Um, let me ask you.

Is the cat thing a real sticking point?

Because, see, I have this little kitten, but it's really cute.

Clover!

What happened, you guys?

Somebody grabbed us, knocked us out.

I remember a machine.

A freaky machine.

We got company.

Are those guys wearing Mikey and DJ's faces?

They've got O-Dog.

Red dreadlocks look familiar.

No way!

That's T-Bone from Boy Candy.

I have to get an autograph!

Alex, if that's Boy Candy, then it's

a pretty safe bet they're the ones

stealing Teensicle's faces.

Nuh-uh!

Not Boy Candy!

Maybe they just found the faces and came to return them.

- Hey! - [gasps]

[gasps]

Or maybe not.

Time to motor!

ALL: [gasps]

Do you know what the longevity of a boy band is?

A month, if you're lucky.

After that, they show you the door.

Wow.

Interesting fun fact.

Does it have a point?

A very fine point.

I'd like you to meet the Facelifter 5000.

Ew!

I hate needles.

Hate needles?

Hello, how do you think tattoos are applied?

I thought they ironed on.

Pipe down!

With this device, Boy Candy's going to get

a second shot at stardom.

Allow me to demonstrate. - No!

Please!

My manager spent a fortune getting

my face to look like this.

[gasps]

You will never get away with it.

Fans will take one look at your flabby bodies

and know you're a fraud.

Uh-uh.

It's called a body truss.

Boy Candy is back.

And once we perform at the unity concert,

nothing will be able to stop us.

T-Bone, I want a young face, too.

You might try some moisturizer.

And not to be mean, but you could probably

wax that mustache while you're at it.

I think I have a better idea.

Grr!

See you in rock and roll heaven!

I can't believe T-Bone would do this to me.

Look at my face!

My skin looks like beef jerky.

It'll be OK.

We'll get you a good astringent.

You guys, see if you can reach your laser lipsticks.

They might be powerful enough to cut these restraints.

We're gonna have to jump.

Alex, don't forget the Facelifter thingy.

[phone ringing]

Sam, how is the mission going?

The fate of world unity depends on Teensicle being

able to perform at the concert.

Well, we got a little problem with that.

The Teensicle on its way to Russia are imposters.

We need to get to the concert fast.

Oh, dear.

Well, in that case, walk up.

ALL: Thanks, Jer!

Papa, are they not the coolest?

I want my own Teensicle.

Buy me my own Teensicle!

Right after the show, babushka.

Huh?

What's going on?

Yeah.

They're acting weird.

Yo, get it together, you idiots!

That's not Teensicle!

AUDIENCE: [jeering]

Papa, someone's trying to trick us.

Why?

I do not know.

But if they think they can make a fool out of Russia,

they are mistaken.

I will stop this unity concert and the unity talks!

What are we going to do, T-Bone?

Girls, these wannabes seem to be a little out of shape.

I think they could use a workout.

Let's give them a quick lesson in Power Yoga Chi-kwondo.

We call this one Squatting Bear.

[growling]

This one's called Skipping Goat.

[bleating]

This is called Long Tiger.

[roaring]

By the way, you are so not my favorite boy band anymore.

Sam, Clover, T-Bone's getting away!

You save Alex.

I'll take care of the other two.

Oh, no!

[roaring]

Just thought I'd drop in, say hi.

I think you have something that belongs to my friend?

AUDIENCE: [cheering]

That's the Teensicle we love!

Yay Teensicle!

We only did it to be popular again.

To be cool.

No one cares when you're yesterday's boy band.

Just wanted to be cool.

[phone ringing]

Excellent work, girls.

I've just been informed that the Russian president

has given his blessings for the world unity talks to continue.

Hey, Jer?

Now that we've saved the world again,

you think maybe we could hang around

and get to know Teensicle?

Mm, no.

But I'll work on an autographed poster.

David.

Hello, tacky much?

Guys, I feel weird about being here.

Don't worry.

You're with us.

By the way, you're not still thinking about getting

a tattoo, are you?

No.

I'm comfortable with the way I am.

Who cares if I'm not cool?

Um, excuse me!

What are you doing here?

This is a private party.

Hey, let go!

Ah!

Help!

Oh my gosh!

Look at her tattoo!

Her tattoo's fake.

What a poser.

Yeah.

Let's get out of here.

Wait!

Don't go!

I'm just as surprised as you guys!

The directions on the box said it was permanent!

Eek!

Can you believe Mandy?

What a fake.

Yeah.

Totally.

Too bad, huh?

I know how you like tattoos.

Me?

Nah.

I'm not really into body art just to impress people.

That's what I like about you.

You're totally yourself.

Want to get a latteccino?

Soy, no dairy.

I'm kind of doing the vegan thing.

[gasps]

Uh, yeah.

That would be awesome.

Cool.

Clover, Sam, you guys want to come, too?

After all, we're all just friends, right?

Well, y-- yeah, sure.

We're all just friends for now.

[theme music]