Original subtitles

THEME SONG: Here we go again and on the road till we stop.

And then we'll shop.

So 1, 2, 3 now, baby, we will go, go, go.

Here we go.

Here we go on a mission undercover,

and we're in control.

Here we go.

Here we go-oh-oh-oh.

We're the Totally Spies so we'll get on with the show.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

[water flowing]

[computer sounds]

[explosions]

[screaming]

[helicopter sounds]

If you've just tuned in, we're coming to you live from Niagara

Falls, [grunt] where someone is turning

this national landmark into some kind of dangerous water park.

What kind of sick mind would do this?

[upbeat music]

[computer sounds]

Come on, Sammy, why don't you blade with us?

[gasp].

Yeah, it doesn't matter that you're a lame rollerblader.

You still at least try to have some fun.

Ladies, and I quote, "excess time

spent on recreational activities could be better

spent exercising the mind."

[yawning]

I got a quote for you.

Go fish.

[laughter]

(TOGETHER) Huh?

SECURITY GUARD: Well, well--

Huh?

Look what we have here, skaters and violators.

You know the rules, girls, no rollerblading and no littering.

Littering?

I was making a wish and ran out of pennies.

Save it for someone who cares.

Thankfully a model citizen alerted me to this situation.

It's them, Mr. Officer.

If you want, I can identify each criminal in a line up.

The only thing criminal here is your nasty haircut

and faux nails.

You can't believe anything she says.

She's a notorious rumor spreader.

Believe me, sir, I know these girls all too well.

They're repeat offenders and shouldn't

be free to roam the mall.

[screech]

Now, now, this poor young lady was merely doing a good deed.

Here, it's good for 20% off anything in the mall.

I'll be back with reinforcements.

Great.

I didn't even do anything wrong.

Oh, that's right.

You didn't do anything, Miss--

Miss Sam No Fun. (TOGETHER) Sam No Fun.

Cut it out.

Sam No Fun.

Stop it right now.

[beeping]

[screaming]

Afternoon, ladies.

You wouldn't have a blow dryer in your back pocket,

would you, Jerr?

Sorry, only white terry cloth beach towels.

You can take one home as a souvenir after your mission.

Hmm.

You'll have to teach me that sometime.

Sure thing.

Right after you get something to wrap.

[laughter]

Now we've uncovered something quite bizarre and troubling.

It seems various world leaders have

been creating dangerous thrill rides

in their respective countries.

(TOGETHER) Thrill rides?

In Germany, the chancellor instructed the removal

of the lines on the autobahn.

He also added [inaudible].

Driving has become-- - (TOGETHER) Huh?

JERRY: --a reckless, road raging, bumper car, speedway.

In Malaysia, the prime minister has

programmed on the elevators of the Petronas Towers

to drop 88 floors.

[screaming]

Lastly, the Brazilian President ordered cables

cut on a suspended bridge.

Bus loads of tourists were left dangling

over crocodile-infested waters.

Why when world leaders convert safe national landmarks

into major danger zones?

Frankly, that's what we need you to find out.

The Emperor of Japan's wife is a former WOOHP agent.

Through her, you can get direct access to your husband.

Japan?

That's like sushi central.

Let's go.

Uh, wait for the gadgets--

one digit decoder card, one can of Insta-Freeze Back-Off breath

spray, a pocket-sized protracting lip spear,

the just sticky enough glue gloves, the mini lint vac

battery decharger and CATS.

Cats?

I'm more of a dog person.

It stands for Crystalline Anti-Tri-Sect Shield.

As long as it's litter box trained.

Yes, very amusing.

[snap]

[screaming]

Hey, do you guys think this bullet

train has a sushi bar on it?

[sniffing] Here fishy, fishy.

Let's just hope it takes us to the Emperor's Palace soon.

I'd like to breathe again.

Can't you at least try to have fun, Sam?

Yeah.

Where else can you experience a nice smooth ride like this.

[crash]

During an earthquake!

[screaming]

Since when do public trains do loop-de-loops?

Can we just get out of here before I lose my sashimi?

This digit decoder card should do the trick.

[beeping]

[gasp]

I think we need a little more purchasing power.

Credit cards, is there anything they can't do?

[screaming]

Did we make it?

I think so.

Hey, there's the Emperor's Palace.

[japanese music]

[gasp]

(TOGETHER) Huh?

Who are the suits?

Something tells me this isn't the welcoming committee.

You are making one super-sized mistake,

Mr. Scary Japanese Guard?

I just learned a mean martial arts move in gym class.

[martial arts grunts]

[whimper]

Hold, it.

I'm Keako, the Emperor's wife.

These are my guards.

Oopsie.

What do you know?

This is the welcoming committee after all.

Jerry told me you'd be coming.

Come with me.

If you need anything, Mr. Katsu will be happy to assist you.

Uh, sorry, Katsu, I never valet

park the designer originals.

[gasping]

Hello, ladies.

Hello, Mr. Emperor, sir, master of masters,

ruler of the unruly.

[gasping] Huh?

Good bye, ladies.

Good bye.

OK, a man of few words?

Too few.

I got a feeling there's something he's not telling us.

CLOVER: Well, then, what are we waiting for?

Let's get to the bottom of this.

An entire palace filled with neat stuff,

and we're stuck in this bore-a-torium.

- Uh-oh. - [gasp].

Could be the Emperor.

Get out you're just sticky enough gloves.

[footsteps]

You're sure these gloves are sticking enough?

[machine sounds]

What's he doing with that battery?

It looks like he's charging himself.

The repeated words, stiff hand gestures, the battery charger,

it's like he's some kind of animatron. or something.

Anima-what?

[unsticking sounds]

(TOGETHER) Whoa!

[grunting]

Uh-huh, just as I suspected, the gloves

weren't sticky enough.

Guards!

[crashing]

[screaming]

Girls, in here, quick.

[grunt]

What was that all about?

I don't know how to say this, but, um, we

think the Emperor has been replaced by an animatron.

Oh, my, that would explain the Emperor's bizarre behavior.

Someone must have abducted the real Emperor.

You girls must find my husband.

He may be in great danger.

We'll do everything we can, Your Highness.

Whoever abducted the real emperor

must be using a signal to control

the animatronic emperor.

We just need a way to track the signal.

Wait! I've got it.

A compact?

It's a gadget from my spy days.

[groan] [crash]

That thing is anything but light.

A compact with a satellite dish, a compact-a-lite.

Regardless, it should track the signal.

[screaming]

You can borrow the family jet.

It's very fast.

[gasping]

[screaming]

[grunting]

[growling]

No!

Not the shoes!

Ah!

-

ALEXANDRA: We've got to be getting close.

[beeping]

Because the beeping's getting faster?

Because I can't hold this thing anymore.

Ah!

Wha!

At least there aren't any long lines.

Check out these footprints.

[footsteps]

[beeping getting faster]

That's weird.

The signal seems to be coming from beneath us.

[crash]

[grunting]

Never did like merry-go-rounds.

OK, so which way is out?

Not that way.

Oh, hi, um, we were just leaving.

Are you sure you wouldn't rather

just talk this out instead?

[grunting and gasping]

[gasping]

Back off, robot breath.

1, 2, 3.

(TOGETHER) Cool.

[dripping]

I've had it.

There aren't any emperors down here, just dirt and rats and--

[voices] Hm?

MAN 1: [inaudible], so be quiet.

MAN 2: [inaudible],, I was here first.

Irritable foreign men?

Locked.

There's got to be a way in.

Hm, let me try something.

[grunt] Now I get it.

That martial arts move was for taking

out doors not Japanese guards.

Whoa, there's got to be every world leader in the world here.

Oh, no, more bad guys.

Relax!

We're the good spies.

I've always wanted to say that.

Then you'd better untie us quickly

before that doctor finishes his plan

and makes us all mysteriously disappear.

MALE VOICE (OVER LOUDSPEAKER): Sorry,

girls, but the park is closed.

[beeping]

Hello, intruders.

[grunting]

Welcome to my once secret laboratory.

I am Dr. Eisenstein.

Dr. Eisenstein?

Yah, I know.

With a name like Eisenstein, I knew I'd either have to be

a genius or create a monster.

I decided to do both.

[zapping sound]

So, doc, why replace all the world's

leaders with your robots, to show off your hidden talent?

Hardly.

I've be making animatrons since you were a your girl

going to amusement parks just to have fun.

You mean Sam used to have fun?

(TOGETHER) Sam No Fun. Sam No Fun.

Sam No Fun.

My animatrons were the best.

Then game this new invention, video games.

Now children would rather move around a plastic joystick

than see a lifelike swashbuckling fighter!

Grr.

So you thought you'd get back in the biz

by kidnapping world leaders and replacing

them with your machine men?

No.

I decided to get revenge by making

my version of the greatest rulers and programming

them to build hazardous thrill rides.

The world will be my personal amusement park until it

inevitably destroys itself.

OK, this guy puts the "reek" in freak.

Yeah, that plans stinks even more

than your average evil-doctor-takes-over-the-world

plan. [crash]

Look at me.

I've been having all the fun so far.

Don't worry, girls.

I promise to make it up to you by letting you try

my favorite ride in the park.

Now, allow me to explain how to ride works.

When the car you're in gets up to 15 rotations,

the ride will blow up.

In other words, after the explosion,

my cotton candy will have more of a form than you girls.

Ooh, and remember to keep your hands

and feet inside the vehicle at all times.

You wouldn't want to get hurt.

[evil laughter]

Sarcastic much?

(TOGETHER) Huh?

[beeping]

[screaming]

We're in the fifth rotation already!

Don't worry.

I'm sure we'll figure a way out of this soon, any second now.

[beeping]

[gasp] The lip spear-- if only I could reach it.

13 rotations!

Got it!

14!

Ah!

[screaming]

[beeping]

[explosion]

[squeal]

Oops, guess we forgot to keep our hands

and feet inside the vehicle at all times.

Where'd all the world leaders go?

Load 'em up, boys.

This trailer's is already late for a date,

off a bridge, that is.

Now, which robot did I program to drive?

Driving them into the river, like how mysterious is that?

We've to catch that trailer.

But how?

[horn honking]

Shot gun.

Hm.

They're getting away.

Don't we have a gadget we can use to catch up to them?

Gadget?

We don't need no stinkin' gadget.

Are you sure this is such a good idea?

No.

[grunting]

Ah.

[screaming]

How does this thing work?

SAM: Like this.

We did it!

[THANK YOUS IN VARIOUS LANGUAGES]

Hey, what's with world leaders and their drab gray suits?

Would it kill them to throw a little

white into their wardrobes?

Don't worry.

We're going to return you all to your countries.

Now all we have to do is return leaders

and deactivate the animatrons before Eisenstein

realizes he's lost his trailer.

First stop, Malaysia.

But how are we going to find the Malaysian animatron?

He turned the Petronas Towers elevators into a deadly ride

on the WOOHP tape Jerry showed us.

Then that's where we're headed.

[computer sounds]

OK, so how exactly does one go about deactivating

an animatron?

This mini lint vac battery decharger should

suck the life out of him.

Only problem is how do we get close enough?

Hm.

Now I can get as close as I want to that phony prime minister.

Uh-oh.

Jerry forgot to charge the battery.

How techno lame.

Doesn't he know it's like a cell phone?

No juice, no use.

- That's it? - Huh

What's it?

Your cell phone--

we can use the power from that.

Here, give it to me.

[scoffs] What if I get a really important call?

Here you go.

Now, be careful.

It might be slightly more powerful.

[footsteps]

Excuse me, Mr. Prime Minister, sir.

Yes, soldier?

Um, are my medals on correctly?

Ugh!

Ah!

[grunt]

[ding]

[gasp] Back off, you creep!

Gah!

Ah!

Get out of the way!

He's gonna blow!

[explosion]

That's one down.

Now let's take care of the rest of the world.

[computer sounds]

[cheering]

Where to next, the Land Down Under?

I don't know about under, but we'll

be going down if Eisenstein has anything to say about it.

We've got to protect the world leaders.

We'll put it on autopilot.

- Look out, [inaudible]. - Help, please!

Everyone stay calm.

We've got the situation under control.

Hello, ladies.

So nice to see you again.

Puh-lease.

We've taken down your little henchmen robots before.

Hm, yeah, that's true.

Perhaps this time I should have some support.

[crash]

[squealing]

Ah!

On second thought, everybody panic.

Eliminate them all!

[gunfire]

Maybe if we just hide back here they'll go away.

[gunfire]

[gasp]

[gunfire]

That'll teach you to mess with my hair.

[crashing]

We've got to get the leaders out of here.

[grunting]

[gunfire]

[squeal]

Hunh.

Sucks, don't it?

[crashing]

Spread out!

Huh?

[scream]

Hello!

You heard your boss, eliminate me.

I hope you're equipped with built-in parachutes.

[crashing]

Quick, everyone into the tube.

[shouting]

[explosion]

[screaming]

Time to let the CATS out of the bag.

[grunting] Help.

Help me.

Help!

We really should help him out.

All right.

Ready to give up your practice, doc?

[gasp] You're an animatron!

But if he's an animatron, then someone had to build him.

Unless he built himself.

But [chuckling] I don't see how.

My head hurts.

The real live Dr. Eisenstein created me in his image

before he passed on.

It was his way of being im--

Immature?

--immortal.

But unfortunately he programmed me to self-destruct if I

ever give out that information.

[slowing down] Well, girls, it was fun for a [inaudible]..

OK.

That was, like, totally unexpected.

Look, this must control the animatrons.

Trons

Hopefully that's the end of Dr. Eisenstein's robots

forever.

Let's get inside the plane and get these leaders home.

[japanese music]

Hello!

Anybody home?

Oh, thank you so much for saving my husband.

Yes, excellent work, girls.

It was our pleasure.

Yeah.

It was the least we could do for a fellow WOOHP spy.

You girls should take a vacation after that assignment.

Why bother?

We've been every place in the world in the last 24 hours.

Every place except home.

[computer sounds]

[banjo music]

TV ANNOUNCER: Next week on "Troy's Bayou."

Huh?

[snoring]

What gives, you lame-os?

Let's go to the rollerblade park.

You want to go to the rollerblade park?

Yeah.

All that talk about thrill rides got me psyched up to have fun.

Go away.

I'm wiped.

Drained.

[sighing] You're right.

We should stay home, blob out, and order some yummy takeout.

[dialing]

(TOGETHER) Love it!

Ah, hello?

Yes, I'd like to order egg rolls,

shrimp fried rice, and some Clover and Alex No Fun.

Oh, no.

Clover and Alex No Fun!

Clover and Alex No Fun!

Hey, this is fun!

Clover and Alex No Fun.

Oh, Clover and Alex so tired.

Clover and Alex No Fun. Ah, ha-ha-ha-ha.

Eat my dust.

[theme music]