Original subtitles

The following program contains mature subject matter and coarse language

discretion is advised

Good morning.

Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. The HRT finally kicked in.

Oh, my God. I slept through the entire night. These are the same pajamas I went

to bed in, and they are still dry. No night sweats. I feel like I'm 20.

Well, then, tonight we celebrate.

I'll order in quarter chicken combos, yeah?

I am so happy right now. I can't even be mad that they changed their fries.

But how do you feel about the hard bun situation?

Not mad.

You're back.

I'm back.

Oh, wait a minute. We can't do it tonight because we've got to do my work

But in the meantime, I was wondering if you would be interested in doing some

stuff.

HRT Julie would like to test her new powers.

Really? Really.

Oh.

And you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go to the store and I'm going

buy some new underwear.

Oh, yeah.

And I'm going to make sure I get a nap in this afternoon because I want all the

energy left over for you.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

Not later.

Now. Now?

Now. Like now, now?

Now, now, now.

Now.

Okay,

Chris. Uh, yes.

Good news. We now know the cause of all of your excessive bleeding. You have two

polyps on your uterus. And the reason for all that extra pain is because of a

cyst on one of your ovaries. Oh, my gosh.

It's not as bad as it sounds.

Now we know.

Now we know. That's good.

Yes, exactly. Just what happens now.

So the next step is I'm going to refer you to a specialist, and they're going

take over some of your treatment from there. Okay. The great part is you

have an answer, so that's got to feel pretty good. Yeah, this is good. Moving

to the next step.

Remember the last time I was in and...

I would tell you that I was like having some feelings, like anxiety or, you

know, it's kind of not going anywhere. And it's like, even over small

like is it white rice? Is it brown rice that I'm going to eat tonight? I'm like,

oh, pantyhose or a thin sock and a tall boot. And it makes me feel like I'm a

flipped over race car on fire. It's like I got a tight helmet and those really

weird thin socks. So everything's just like, you know, it's like a...

Like, I'm choking on life, and, you know, that feeling. I mean, I'm sure, do

other women, do you hear? Of course.

Being a middle -aged woman is hard. You know, there's work, there's kids. It can

be overwhelming. These feelings you're having really make sense. I'm not sure

that it makes sense. I don't know that it does.

Okay, well, now we have a path forward.

Yeah, we definitely have a path forward, and I am so grateful to finally know,

because that was... I don't know that Paul Ibsen Pantyhose sort of put out

fire.

Dude, I don't think they... They might, but I don't know.

Okay, here's what I'd like to do. Yeah? I want you to go see the specialist.

We're going to start there.

Okay. And then if you're still having these feelings, why don't you go ahead

book follow -up with me, okay? Okay. I am so sorry. I do have to go because I

have so many people out there. Oh, yes, I can hear. I know. Okay.

You take care of them. Yes. So I'm going to see... Okay, and then we'll...

Great. Terrific.

I wonder how long we'll have to wait.

HRT is amazing.

That's the word on the street. It's only been a couple of weeks, but I feel like

myself again.

I'm 100 % happy, poor Vu.

And I dreamt, I mean, okay.

The dream wasn't great. My teeth fell out and I had to chase them all around

kitchen. But I didn't wake up.

I had a dream. I had a dream that I was climbing a mountain, except it was a

mountain of pebbles. And I was just like, I was drowning, I was drowning.

I'm sinking and all the pebbles are going in my mouth. I can't see. I just

pebbles in all my holes. Oh, oh, oh, and I forgot. The other thing, no more

joint pain. I feel like I got my mojo back.

Oh, wow.

Okay, listeners, we want to thank you because we just hit the 100 ,000

subscriber mark.

Yeah, yeah!

Woo! Woot woot.

So you read my office party protocol?

Nothing like coming back to the office after working an entire day in the

for an industry event.

I detect a note of sarcasm in your voice.

Mo, that is the only tone I've got. Small achievable goals hitting 100k

subscribers is not nothing.

Aww. This was Chelsea's cottage cheese.

Saddest of all cheeses.

Look, we are all broken up about Chelsea's.

departure i mean she told me she quit in a voice note you're gonna find yourself

another curly -haired weirdo i don't want another curly -haired weirdo i want

chelsea oh

chris can i talk to you for a second absolutely i want to talk to you 100 i

let's have a big old chat okay evan let's chat about tonight's party amanda

going to bring some very important people so this needs to go perfectly

it's been a great meeting bye okay and sit back down okay i'm not done i'm

be so straight with you chris good amanda and i have sensed a shift

okay where is the pizzazz i don't know where is where'd it go

i feel like you're all in your head i i'm missing that heart on your sleeve

Signature spontaneity. OK.

Yeah? Yeah.

You're there.

But are you there?

Well,

guess what, Evan?

Tonight, at this 100K party, I'm coming in like a hot rod. You think I mean the

pepperette or the car?

What? Exactly.

Now, I'm going to show you and Amanda tonight, I'm going to show you exactly

what I mean. All right. All right. Yes. Yes.

That's it.

Okay. You know, spicy pizzazz. Yeah. You got to bring your A game.

A plus.

Plus, baby. Nothing screams signature spontaneity like accessory.

Tonight, when I come in, I'm going to wear something like this, but maybe

tighter. Loads of belt.

Loads of bling.

Loads of jewels.

Who's coming in? The goddamn queen, baby!

Yeah!

That's kind of how you maybe get a change into something, you know,

cash. I love it when I come in tonight. You know what?

I'm going to get the party started like this. Count me in, baby. I'll count

myself in.

Hey! Hey!

Do you think that's some sort of joke?

Huh? I'm being so serious. We have to impress people today. We have investors,

potential advertisers.

Evan, I see you, and I promise you, I'm going to do everything it takes to stay

ahead of the curve and keep my job.

So you're going to change?

Hey, crew.

How's your doctor's appointment go? Oh, look at me. I'm remembering things.

Yeah, it's good. I have a path forward. I'm moving forward.

And you're back on the horse. By horse, I mean Pete.

Yeah, not to be all TMI about it, but we fooled around.

It was great.

Everything worked.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I'll see you at the party then.

I'm going to keep going.

Excited for the party tonight?

If by excited you mean obligated, then yes. Yes, I am. I put a lot of work into

organizing tonight, Julie.

And Amanda is going to finally see me as the producer I know I am. So if you two

are not here, I will come to your homes and drag you here for a good time.

Jeez, someone is grumpy today.

New boyfriend keeping you up? We only had sex three times last night. I'm a

little wound up.

Three times?

These days, the pod and I are lucky to do it three times a week.

Wait, you have sex with three people three times a week? Oh, no, sorry, bad

math. So there's primary, secondary, tertiary.

That's one times three times two times three, which is 36.

Okay, I get the idea.

Just so you guys are aware, I also am a sexual person, and I had sex this

morning. Julie, we're at work.

TMI. Why is it TMI when I say it? Don't take this the wrong way, but you're old.

Look.

Anything you guys can do, I can do. I'm going to join the Three Times Club. I've

already got one under my belt, and I'm going to hit two and three today.

Okay.

Did you pull something?

No. I'm done next. I'm walking it off.

Don't break a hip.

Oh, you forgot your bubble water.

Oh, my gosh. That's so hot.

Hey, everyone. You having a good time?

Just a second.

Oh, yeah, I'm having a great time.

I love parties.

I love parties.

Julie.

Yay, everyone. Hi.

Just do another entrance and be a person in the world that knows how to enter a

party. Do it. Go.

You have to leave to go in. And just maybe a twirl. Yeah.

Hi, I'm normal. That is a dead giveaway.

You're just going to bring this all together.

You don't have anxiety or any passive thoughts about not wanting to exist

anymore? You're a pepperette with a bunch of belts.

Less belts, maybe more belts.

Yeah, me and my mom.

That's it. Yeah, you are a flapper. As soon as you say flop, the party's

over. Do not say flop.

You can do it. Think about your life and all the things that you've done right.

This is, this is...

Hey, partner.

Okay,

you're going to go back today.

Oh, God.

You look like Steve Jobs.

Chris, it's Yule, the new property manager.

I just want to return this.

Oh, you didn't need any.

Of my thank you mammogram soup. It was split pea.

I loved it. It's just my mother always said it was bad luck to return an empty

food container.

Hamburger helper. I'm not a very good cook.

I love it.

I love crumbled meat. And things from a box.

Yeah, me too.

Yeah.

Okay, well, I'll see you later. Okay, see ya. Thank you so much.

Actually, do you have a minute or are you going to like a ballet rehearsal or?

Oh, no, no.

This old playing, I was getting ready for a party. I have a lot of pizzazz,

know. Okay, I'm sorry. I should probably go anyway. I forgot to eat today. No,

no. Did I just hear you say you haven't eaten? Because you've got to eat.

Because you just brought. That would be silly. We're eating together.

Could you heat this up?

And then I'll get ready right quick.

Okay, here. You know how to use the microwave.

Hello, Pete.

Hey, what's this?

Shh.

HRT Julie is ready for round two. What do you say?

What, now?

Mm -hmm. Oh, babe.

To be honest, I'm still tender from earlier.

Well, who isn't a little sore right now?

Are you in pain?

It's no biggie. It's like, you know, it's like that thing when you go to the

and you haven't been for a while and you work out really hard and then you're a

little sore after.

Delayed onset muscle soreness? Yeah, DOMS. I got DOMS with a vagina, but I'm

just gonna push through.

Yeah.

What's going on with you?

What isn't going on with me?

Right. Seems like you're trying to prove something.

No, I'm not.

We gotta go, though. Tonight is about celebrating you.

That is exactly what I'm trying to do.

Julie. Mm -hmm?

Look, this doesn't feel like you and me. You know, it feels like you're in the

second leg of a triathlon and I'm your bike.

No, look, I understand.

No, no, Pete, you are understanding, but you don't understand. And I... I feel

so lonely in this.

Maybe because you always try and solve everything yourself.

Well, maybe because if I don't, nothing ever gets done.

Okay, enjoy the party.

Well, enjoy staying home.

Your quarter chicken dinner and your shitty hard buns.

Mr.

DJ, do you take a class?

No.

Oh, a vagina over there.

You want a bone slider? Oh, sure.

Hey, you on that wall there? You produce one of these podcasts?

Yeah, I do. Well, I did. I'm in between podcasts right now. What kind of podcast

do you produce?

True Crime. Love True Crime. You know, I just find that kind of thing cozy,

maybe because of what happened to me.

I grew up in this community, really tight -knit, pretty satanic.

I guess you could call it a comp.

Anyway, I got out. Eventually.

Narrowly.

Oh, what am I doing?

Talking your ear off. Boring you was my childhood.

You know, first -person narratives are very popular right now. This could make

really good podcast.

I don't know.

I mean, I am the first person I know to make it out alive.

I'm pretty excited for this party tonight because I love a work party.

Great.

I got you a fork and a spoon because I didn't know what you'd prefer.

Would you like to have a seat? Yeah, I'm going to sit. Yep.

I'm going to go with the spoon.

Okay.

Oh, my hair, geez. Sorry, I fell on this. That's not... I got it.

Are you sure you're feeling up for tonight?

Yeah. I'm going to tell you who isn't, though.

My granddad, huh?

She used to be, like, the life of the party, but she's not anymore.

What's going on with her?

Just, like... Like, lots.

She's just, like, really struggling right now.

You know?

Everyone's just like, oh, Hannah, what's wrong with you?

And they're like, you're so different now.

And I just want it to stop.

Yeah, I know what that's like.

Just want it to stop.

I don't mean make it stop for me. I mean, like, make it stop for Hannah, for

her. Yeah.

You seem like a really good friend.

I love this. What did you put in here?

Did you put on some tomato sauce?

What's going on here? I love meat. What did you put in here?

Maybe if you should just stay in, like skip the party. I was like your friend

there for a really long time.

But what I learned is that if I'm struggling,

then it's okay to pause and it's

okay to ask for help.

And those two things were really, really, really hard.

was here because I would tell her what you said that would help her a lot.

Do you think this outfit has enough to that?

I think it's the best.

I'm going to walk you to that party. Okay.

At the risk of sounding like a weirdo and giving you a compliment, this is a

pretty amazing party. What are you doing hiding in here?

I got a text from Amanda.

She's still in L .A. on business.

I went all out to impress her, and she doesn't even show up.

Where's Chris?

I was going to ask you the same thing. I don't know.

God, so much for pizzazz.

Mmm.

While I have you, your HRT story is really gaining some traction in the

comments. Maybe we keep going with this and do a few more podcast episodes?

I don't know.

You know, I thought it was going to fix everything, but it doesn't.

I had a huge fight with Pete tonight, which is why I'm here solo, drinking

my work husband, who I also constantly fight with. I've been there before.

Really? Yeah, one day you are just...

crushing it at work.

The next day you walk through the door and all your shit's packed up in boxes

and you are alone.

Well, I don't think Pete and I are there yet.

Nobody thinks that they're there until they're there.

Hey, you want another little bloop? Yeah, bloop me.

Hey, just tell him. Tell him your thing. Tell him. He's going to tell you a

thing. I escaped from a cult.

I think I have a new podcast to be a multi -season series.

I don't know about podcasts. You guys know about podcasts.

Yeah, I like that. And we could find your family or what's left of them.

That is dark.

Yeah.

I like it. There's this creepy element to it. Who are you, you know?

I'm going to text Amanda.

Let her know. I think she's gonna be really excited.

She's gonna love it!

Hey. Hey.

So how was your night?

Terrible. Mine too.

You wanna talk about it?

No.

Do you wanna talk about it?

No.

Wanna kill some things?

Yeah. Yeah.

All right.

Actually, I'm going to grab a bubble water. You want one? Oh, here.

Ew, Mom.

What? Gross.

Just grab a straw.

All right.

This is it.

Thank you.

Welcome.

See ya.

You good?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm good. Oh, me? Yeah, I'm good. I just was, like,

practicing.

Like, I have to warm up my dance moves before I go in.

Hey. Yeah, yeah, I'm just dancing.

Don't. Hey.

Yeah.

It's too fast.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0