All language subtitles for Small Achievable Goals s02e04 HRT, and Other Party Tricks.eng

The following program contains mature
subject matter and coarse language

discretion is advised

Good morning.

Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. The HRT
finally kicked in.

Oh, my God. I slept through the entire
night. These are the same pajamas I went

to bed in, and they are still dry. No
night sweats. I feel like I'm 20.

Well, then, tonight we celebrate.

I'll order in quarter chicken combos,
yeah?

I am so happy right now. I can't even be
mad that they changed their fries.

But how do you feel about the hard bun
situation?

Not mad.

You're back.

I'm back.

Oh, wait a minute. We can't do it
tonight because we've got to do my work

But in the meantime, I was wondering if
you would be interested in doing some

stuff.

HRT Julie would like to test her new
powers.

Really? Really.

Oh.

And you know what I'm going to do? I'm
going to go to the store and I'm going

buy some new underwear.

Oh, yeah.

And I'm going to make sure I get a nap
in this afternoon because I want all the

energy left over for you.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

Not later.

Now. Now?

Now. Like now, now?

Now, now, now.

Now.

Okay,

Chris. Uh, yes.

Good news. We now know the cause of all
of your excessive bleeding. You have two

polyps on your uterus. And the reason
for all that extra pain is because of a

cyst on one of your ovaries. Oh, my
gosh.

It's not as bad as it sounds.

Now we know.

Now we know. That's good.

Yes, exactly. Just what happens now.

So the next step is I'm going to refer
you to a specialist, and they're going

take over some of your treatment from
there. Okay. The great part is you

have an answer, so that's got to feel
pretty good. Yeah, this is good. Moving

to the next step.

Remember the last time I was in and...

I would tell you that I was like having
some feelings, like anxiety or, you

know, it's kind of not going anywhere.
And it's like, even over small

like is it white rice? Is it brown rice
that I'm going to eat tonight? I'm like,

oh, pantyhose or a thin sock and a tall
boot. And it makes me feel like I'm a

flipped over race car on fire. It's like
I got a tight helmet and those really

weird thin socks. So everything's just
like, you know, it's like a...

Like, I'm choking on life, and, you
know, that feeling. I mean, I'm sure, do

other women, do you hear? Of course.

Being a middle -aged woman is hard. You
know, there's work, there's kids. It can

be overwhelming. These feelings you're
having really make sense. I'm not sure

that it makes sense. I don't know that
it does.

Okay, well, now we have a path forward.

Yeah, we definitely have a path forward,
and I am so grateful to finally know,

because that was... I don't know that
Paul Ibsen Pantyhose sort of put out

fire.

Dude, I don't think they... They might,
but I don't know.

Okay, here's what I'd like to do. Yeah?
I want you to go see the specialist.

We're going to start there.

Okay. And then if you're still having
these feelings, why don't you go ahead

book follow -up with me, okay? Okay. I
am so sorry. I do have to go because I

have so many people out there. Oh, yes,
I can hear. I know. Okay.

You take care of them. Yes. So I'm going
to see... Okay, and then we'll...

Great. Terrific.

I wonder how long we'll have to wait.

HRT is amazing.

That's the word on the street. It's only
been a couple of weeks, but I feel like

myself again.

I'm 100 % happy, poor Vu.

And I dreamt, I mean, okay.

The dream wasn't great. My teeth fell
out and I had to chase them all around

kitchen. But I didn't wake up.

I had a dream. I had a dream that I was
climbing a mountain, except it was a

mountain of pebbles. And I was just
like, I was drowning, I was drowning.

I'm sinking and all the pebbles are
going in my mouth. I can't see. I just

pebbles in all my holes. Oh, oh, oh, and
I forgot. The other thing, no more

joint pain. I feel like I got my mojo
back.

Oh, wow.

Okay, listeners, we want to thank you
because we just hit the 100 ,000

subscriber mark.

Yeah, yeah!

Woo! Woot woot.

So you read my office party protocol?

Nothing like coming back to the office
after working an entire day in the

for an industry event.

I detect a note of sarcasm in your
voice.

Mo, that is the only tone I've got.
Small achievable goals hitting 100k

subscribers is not nothing.

Aww. This was Chelsea's cottage cheese.

Saddest of all cheeses.

Look, we are all broken up about
Chelsea's.

departure i mean she told me she quit in
a voice note you're gonna find yourself

another curly -haired weirdo i don't
want another curly -haired weirdo i want

chelsea oh

chris can i talk to you for a second
absolutely i want to talk to you 100 i

let's have a big old chat okay evan
let's chat about tonight's party amanda

going to bring some very important
people so this needs to go perfectly

it's been a great meeting bye okay and
sit back down okay i'm not done i'm

be so straight with you chris good
amanda and i have sensed a shift

okay where is the pizzazz i don't know
where is where'd it go

i feel like you're all in your head i
i'm missing that heart on your sleeve

Signature spontaneity. OK.

Yeah? Yeah.

You're there.

But are you there?

Well,

guess what, Evan?

Tonight, at this 100K party, I'm coming
in like a hot rod. You think I mean the

pepperette or the car?

What? Exactly.

Now, I'm going to show you and Amanda
tonight, I'm going to show you exactly

what I mean. All right. All right. Yes.
Yes.

That's it.

Okay. You know, spicy pizzazz. Yeah. You
got to bring your A game.

A plus.

Plus, baby. Nothing screams signature
spontaneity like accessory.

Tonight, when I come in, I'm going to
wear something like this, but maybe

tighter. Loads of belt.

Loads of bling.

Loads of jewels.

Who's coming in? The goddamn queen,
baby!

Yeah!

That's kind of how you maybe get a
change into something, you know,

cash. I love it when I come in tonight.
You know what?

I'm going to get the party started like
this. Count me in, baby. I'll count

myself in.

Hey! Hey!

Do you think that's some sort of joke?

Huh? I'm being so serious. We have to
impress people today. We have investors,

potential advertisers.

Evan, I see you, and I promise you, I'm
going to do everything it takes to stay

ahead of the curve and keep my job.

So you're going to change?

Hey, crew.

How's your doctor's appointment go? Oh,
look at me. I'm remembering things.

Yeah, it's good. I have a path forward.
I'm moving forward.

And you're back on the horse. By horse,
I mean Pete.

Yeah, not to be all TMI about it, but we
fooled around.

It was great.

Everything worked.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I'll see you at the party then.

I'm going to keep going.

Excited for the party tonight?

If by excited you mean obligated, then
yes. Yes, I am. I put a lot of work into

organizing tonight, Julie.

And Amanda is going to finally see me as
the producer I know I am. So if you two

are not here, I will come to your homes
and drag you here for a good time.

Jeez, someone is grumpy today.

New boyfriend keeping you up? We only
had sex three times last night. I'm a

little wound up.

Three times?

These days, the pod and I are lucky to
do it three times a week.

Wait, you have sex with three people
three times a week? Oh, no, sorry, bad

math. So there's primary, secondary,
tertiary.

That's one times three times two times
three, which is 36.

Okay, I get the idea.

Just so you guys are aware, I also am a
sexual person, and I had sex this

morning. Julie, we're at work.

TMI. Why is it TMI when I say it? Don't
take this the wrong way, but you're old.

Look.

Anything you guys can do, I can do. I'm
going to join the Three Times Club. I've

already got one under my belt, and I'm
going to hit two and three today.

Okay.

Did you pull something?

No. I'm done next. I'm walking it off.

Don't break a hip.

Oh, you forgot your bubble water.

Oh, my gosh. That's so hot.

Hey, everyone. You having a good time?

Just a second.

Oh, yeah, I'm having a great time.

I love parties.

I love parties.

Julie.

Yay, everyone. Hi.

Just do another entrance and be a person
in the world that knows how to enter a

party. Do it. Go.

You have to leave to go in. And just
maybe a twirl. Yeah.

Hi, I'm normal. That is a dead giveaway.

You're just going to bring this all
together.

You don't have anxiety or any passive
thoughts about not wanting to exist

anymore? You're a pepperette with a
bunch of belts.

Less belts, maybe more belts.

Yeah, me and my mom.

That's it. Yeah, you are a flapper. As
soon as you say flop, the party's

over. Do not say flop.

You can do it. Think about your life and
all the things that you've done right.

This is, this is...

Hey, partner.

Okay,

you're going to go back today.

Oh, God.

You look like Steve Jobs.

Chris, it's Yule, the new property
manager.

I just want to return this.

Oh, you didn't need any.

Of my thank you mammogram soup. It was
split pea.

I loved it. It's just my mother always
said it was bad luck to return an empty

food container.

Hamburger helper. I'm not a very good
cook.

I love it.

I love crumbled meat. And things from a
box.

Yeah, me too.

Yeah.

Okay, well, I'll see you later. Okay,
see ya. Thank you so much.

Actually, do you have a minute or are
you going to like a ballet rehearsal or?

Oh, no, no.

This old playing, I was getting ready
for a party. I have a lot of pizzazz,

know. Okay, I'm sorry. I should probably
go anyway. I forgot to eat today. No,

no. Did I just hear you say you haven't
eaten? Because you've got to eat.

Because you just brought. That would be
silly. We're eating together.

Could you heat this up?

And then I'll get ready right quick.

Okay, here. You know how to use the
microwave.

Hello, Pete.

Hey, what's this?

Shh.

HRT Julie is ready for round two. What
do you say?

What, now?

Mm -hmm. Oh, babe.

To be honest, I'm still tender from
earlier.

Well, who isn't a little sore right now?

Are you in pain?

It's no biggie. It's like, you know,
it's like that thing when you go to the

and you haven't been for a while and you
work out really hard and then you're a

little sore after.

Delayed onset muscle soreness? Yeah,
DOMS. I got DOMS with a vagina, but I'm

just gonna push through.

Yeah.

What's going on with you?

What isn't going on with me?

Right. Seems like you're trying to prove
something.

No, I'm not.

We gotta go, though. Tonight is about
celebrating you.

That is exactly what I'm trying to do.

Julie. Mm -hmm?

Look, this doesn't feel like you and me.
You know, it feels like you're in the

second leg of a triathlon and I'm your
bike.

No, look, I understand.

No, no, Pete, you are understanding, but
you don't understand. And I... I feel

so lonely in this.

Maybe because you always try and solve
everything yourself.

Well, maybe because if I don't, nothing
ever gets done.

Okay, enjoy the party.

Well, enjoy staying home.

Your quarter chicken dinner and your
shitty hard buns.

Mr.

DJ, do you take a class?

No.

Oh, a vagina over there.

You want a bone slider? Oh, sure.

Hey, you on that wall there? You produce
one of these podcasts?

Yeah, I do. Well, I did. I'm in between
podcasts right now. What kind of podcast

do you produce?

True Crime. Love True Crime. You know, I
just find that kind of thing cozy,

maybe because of what happened to me.

I grew up in this community, really
tight -knit, pretty satanic.

I guess you could call it a comp.

Anyway, I got out. Eventually.

Narrowly.

Oh, what am I doing?

Talking your ear off. Boring you was my
childhood.

You know, first -person narratives are
very popular right now. This could make

really good podcast.

I don't know.

I mean, I am the first person I know to
make it out alive.

I'm pretty excited for this party
tonight because I love a work party.

Great.

I got you a fork and a spoon because I
didn't know what you'd prefer.

Would you like to have a seat? Yeah, I'm
going to sit. Yep.

I'm going to go with the spoon.

Okay.

Oh, my hair, geez. Sorry, I fell on
this. That's not... I got it.

Are you sure you're feeling up for
tonight?

Yeah. I'm going to tell you who isn't,
though.

My granddad, huh?

She used to be, like, the life of the
party, but she's not anymore.

What's going on with her?

Just, like... Like, lots.

She's just, like, really struggling
right now.

You know?

Everyone's just like, oh, Hannah, what's
wrong with you?

And they're like, you're so different
now.

And I just want it to stop.

Yeah, I know what that's like.

Just want it to stop.

I don't mean make it stop for me. I
mean, like, make it stop for Hannah, for

her. Yeah.

You seem like a really good friend.

I love this. What did you put in here?

Did you put on some tomato sauce?

What's going on here? I love meat. What
did you put in here?

Maybe if you should just stay in, like
skip the party. I was like your friend

there for a really long time.

But what I learned is that if I'm
struggling,

then it's okay to pause and it's

okay to ask for help.

And those two things were really,
really, really hard.

was here because I would tell her what
you said that would help her a lot.

Do you think this outfit has enough to
that?

I think it's the best.

I'm going to walk you to that party.
Okay.

At the risk of sounding like a weirdo
and giving you a compliment, this is a

pretty amazing party. What are you doing
hiding in here?

I got a text from Amanda.

She's still in L .A. on business.

I went all out to impress her, and she
doesn't even show up.

Where's Chris?

I was going to ask you the same thing. I
don't know.

God, so much for pizzazz.

Mmm.

While I have you, your HRT story is
really gaining some traction in the

comments. Maybe we keep going with this
and do a few more podcast episodes?

I don't know.

You know, I thought it was going to fix
everything, but it doesn't.

I had a huge fight with Pete tonight,
which is why I'm here solo, drinking

my work husband, who I also constantly
fight with. I've been there before.

Really? Yeah, one day you are just...

crushing it at work.

The next day you walk through the door
and all your shit's packed up in boxes

and you are alone.

Well, I don't think Pete and I are there
yet.

Nobody thinks that they're there until
they're there.

Hey, you want another little bloop?
Yeah, bloop me.

Hey, just tell him. Tell him your thing.
Tell him. He's going to tell you a

thing. I escaped from a cult.

I think I have a new podcast to be a
multi -season series.

I don't know about podcasts. You guys
know about podcasts.

Yeah, I like that. And we could find
your family or what's left of them.

That is dark.

Yeah.

I like it. There's this creepy element
to it. Who are you, you know?

I'm going to text Amanda.

Let her know. I think she's gonna be
really excited.

She's gonna love it!

Hey. Hey.

So how was your night?

Terrible. Mine too.

You wanna talk about it?

No.

Do you wanna talk about it?

No.

Wanna kill some things?

Yeah. Yeah.

All right.

Actually, I'm going to grab a bubble
water. You want one? Oh, here.

Ew, Mom.

What? Gross.

Just grab a straw.

All right.

This is it.

Thank you.

Welcome.

See ya.

You good?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm good. Oh, me?
Yeah, I'm good. I just was, like,

practicing.

Like, I have to warm up my dance moves
before I go in.

Hey. Yeah, yeah, I'm just dancing.

Don't. Hey.

Yeah.

It's too fast.

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