Original subtitles

ANNOUNCER: Previously on Rescue Me:

I'm guessing she wasn't the designated driver.

Her neck is broken, Tom.

She reminds you of your daughter. I get it, okay, Tommy?

But this is here, and this is now.

I can't get up. Chickenshit.

PENNY: What's the deal with your uncle?

I think he's scared.

The mayor is gonna have to close a couple of firehouses.

This house is number one on the list.

We're having a huge cookout, everybody coming

and we're gonna stuff them full of food,

great public relations.

Even Fienberg's gotta get behind this.

God decides you get another chance

and this is what you do with it?

What are you doing?

Jesus Christ.

How many times did I tell you not to ride your goddamn bike?

I just wanted to show you my wheelie.

Mom said it was cool. Mom?

Mom this. Mom that.

Is he out?

SHEILA: Yes, he's out.

You're the one trying to get with my man's wife.

What about your drunk girlfriend?

How come you ain't keeping that pussy in line?

COLLEEN: Dad! Aah!

Dad! What are you doing?

Stop! Listen to me.

Do you reject Satan?

Go to hell!

Let her up. Let her up. Okay, Tom.

Please. Let her up.

[SIGHS]

[GROANS]

[MAN SNORING]

[SNORING]

Look, I-- I'm sorry.

I was drunk.

I was shitfaced. I went bat shit.

You know, I don't-- None of that stuff I said,

I don't feel that way, obviously.

There's not a day that goes by that I don't, you know,

wish that I could fix things.

I wish I could hold you

and talk to you and do stuff.

I love you.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Let's go.

They're dropping the charges.

I love you too, Big Daddy.

Nice to know you two connected.

Okay.

So, uh, Sean has Wyatt and Katy over at his house?

Yeah, we didn't know how long the process would take, so...

Right. Ooh.

You good?

Yeah, I'm just great.

No, I mean drinking-wise.

You, uh-- You lose the taste for it?

I don't know.

I might have lost the taste for it

after what happened.

Might have or did?

I don't know.

All right. Well...

Let's find out.

What are you doing?

I'm giving her a little sample.

Tommy.

TOMMY: From her stash.

Go ahead. Drink that.

I don't want it.

I know you don't want to. I want you to.

Go ahead.

Ugh, I can't.

Either you can on your own

or will force it down your throat.

Go ahead. Jesus Christ.

TOMMY: Hang on. Go ahead.

Oh!

Are you happy?

Not yet.

[COLLEEN SIGHS]

Here, sweetheart. You okay?

Yeah.

JANET: Yeah?

One more try.

Are you insane? Yes, I'm insane.

God.

TOMMY: Come on.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, well, well.

I guess it was just the--

[GAGS]

[COLLEEN VOMITING]

Wow. Wow.

I know.

May be madness in my method

but you can't argue with my results.

Okay, that thing that you just did, that move,

where did you pull that from?

Uh, out of my ass basically. You know,

you're always hearing these people talk about tough love.

I just figured why not, uh,

take a chance, you know?

Hm.

You may have just saved our daughter.

Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, do you wanna, um--

Yeah.

You don't even know what I'm gonna ask.

You were about to ask me out for dinner.

Yeah.

Talk about radar. Jesus.

Do you wanna, uh--

Yeah.

Tonight?

Might as well strike while the iron's hot, right?

I'm gonna try some wine.

What? Really?

[GAGGING]

Don't puke in the fridge.

[THE VON BONDIES' "C'MON, C'MON" PLAYING]

♪ On another day C'mon, cmon ♪

♪ With these ropes tied tight Can we do no wrong? ♪

♪ Now we grieve 'Cause now it's gone ♪

♪ Things were good When we were young ♪

♪ When my teeth bite down I can see the blood ♪

♪ Of a thousand men Who have come and gone ♪

♪ Now we grieve 'Cause now it's gone ♪

♪ Things were good When we were young ♪

♪ Is it safe to stay? ♪ ♪ C'mon, cmon ♪

♪ Was it right to leave? ♪ C'mon, c'mon ♪

♪ Will I ever learn? ♪ ♪ C'mon, cmon ♪

♪ C'mon, ¢'/mon C'mon, cmon ♪

Hey.

Let's go. How you doing?

Just tired, man. Rough couple of days.

But, hey, you cured Colleen, you know?

Shit makes my load a hell of a lot easier,

that's for sure. She's so off of alcohol,

you wave a bottle of mouthwash in front of her,

and she starts making puking noises.

But the only downside? What?

She don't forget shit no more. I gotta keep track of that.

Well, she told me you tuned Franco up pretty good, so...

I was motivated.

I know you were covering my ass

and don't think I don't appreciate it.

No, look, Tommy, don't thank me.

You know, I feel lousy about the whole incident.

Why?

You did what needed to be done.

Listen, I mean, the man was not acting right

and, yeah, he spoke out of turn,

but that doesn't excuse me

from putting hands on him the way I did.

You just don't do family like that, you know?

Yes, you do.

No, you don't, Tommy. You don't.

Let me explain something to you.

I come from a big Irish family.

When my brothers and I were growing up,

if somebody stepped out of line,

it was your responsibility to grab the son of a bitch

and slap some sense into him.

Knock him down, maybe kick him,

and then stand him back up again.

That's what, uh, family is for.

You know? It's, uh, what being a brother is all about.

It's because you love the guy and...

You know, that's...

You're taking care of him. It's, you know...

You did the right thing.

That was probably

the most truly wise thing you've ever said to me.

I mean, it involved beating the shit out of somebody,

but it was wise.

I'm wise in very, uh, specific areas, I guess.

So, what do I do now, man?

You know, you go, uh...

You, uh, walk up to him and you act friendly

and by that behavior,

offering an olive branch, you know.

And then, uh, you know,

let things happen as they will

and if it feels organic, you, uh, apologize.

Organic?

Did I say organic?

Sure as shit wasn't me saying it.

What, you grew a vajayjay overnight?

Hey, I live with three women. What do you want me to do?

Hey, man, give me a pound, brother. Black Irish.

That's the Obama fist pump, right?

Tell you what, turn it that way.

O apostrophe Bama. It's an Irish potato.

[CHUCKLES]

How's that? Yeah.

By the way, a little pearl of Irish family wisdom:

[ENGINE STARTS]

I wouldn't turn my back on Franco

for at least a couple of days.

Oh, what the hell's going on?

Hey. Bastards shut us down. They closed the house.

What? Your bullshit caught up to us.

Like bailing on a call and getting arrested

for assaulting your own daughter in a church.

Hey, that wasn't assault, that was a sacrament.

There's a fine line. Oh, really?

You wanna blame somebody

why don't you take a look at your ass? You were in charge

when Shawn went Larry Holmes on Franco,

and Lou was beating up the cops.

You're throwing me under the bus?

All I'm saying is this bus is big enough

for all of us to get under.

Okay? It might have been the e-mail.

Shut up.

What e-mail?

Ugh! We sent an e-mail.

I didn't know you could type. Didn't know you could spell.

What about? About Pat.

Mahoney.

We didn't feel anyone was paying attention

to the fact that he had cancer and he didn't have any money.

So we wrote headquarters. Oh, boy.

Once we got into the writing of it,

it just spun out of control.

We were, "Holy shit, this is bad."

Really bad. Anyway, the kicker is,

I went to hit delete and I hit...

Hit send! MIKE: Sorry! It was an accident.

Hi. What's going on?

What happened to the cookout? Headquarters shut us down.

Bullshit! The whole hood was coming out.

You got hungry people up here, son.

It came down from the mountain, there's nothing we can do.

Who's gonna put out the fires?

They're gonna have to get the West Side Wildmen.

Oh, that's some bullshit.

Nobody cares how long it'll take them to get here

because it's just black folk burning all up.

Amen. I'm with you, sister.

Well, this ain't happening without some noise.

We could use some noise. Yeah.

I mean, not gunfire. No, no gunfire.

Fire bombing.

You've done enough.

Chanting. Chanting. Chanting's good.

Like, "Hell no, we won't go." That kind of thing.

Or kiss my big black ass, Mr. Mayor.

You mean, your big black moisturized ass?

Stop it, all right?

Look, sweetheart, chanting is great.

If you wanna protest on our behalf, who are we to stop you?

The only thing black people like more than a cookout

is a good old-fashioned protest.

D, Brenda, get over here. We gonna have us a protest.

Guys, let's make a little noise.

Come on, let's do it. All right.

LOU: Out of my way!

SEAN: Holy shit! Lou, what are you--?

ALL: Whoa!

MIKE: Lou, what are you doing? Come on, Lou.

NEEDLES: Come on, Lou! Lou.

Well, you see where I was going with that.

Why isn't the press here?

Yeah, this kind of stuff's all over the news.

It is on the news. Seventeen houses got shut down.

The press is spread as thin as we are.

Seventeen? Every borough got hit.

The Bronx the worst. Six, gone.

I'm gonna grab my scanner. Dispatch must be going nuts.

I'm gonna make calls. See if I can get us some coverage.

We gotta get into this building.

Aw, man. There's nothing in there.

They took the equipment.

Don't tell me there's nothing there.

I got all my food in there. It's city property.

Kid's got a point, you know.

I was here late last night making my chocolate cupcakes,

the ones with the peanut butter frosting.

The ones with the frosting on the top?

Yes. And then the extra frosting

on the inside... Yes.

...80 when you bite in, you get--

That stuff on the inside.

Let's go. Come on. Come on.

LOU: Okay, on three, on three.

CROWD [CHANTING]: Save our firehouse!

Save our firehouse! Save our firehouse!

Save our firehouse! Save our firehouse!

Come on, come on!

"Eat shit, mayor."

Lacks poetry but gets the point across.

Damn, they came out of the woodworks.

I can't believe there's no news. No Franco either.

He probably stayed home to lick his wounds.

Or he's out buying the largest gun he can find

to fill you full of lead.

I think I'm gonna go with the idea

that he's at home licking his wounds.

Good call.

This was a good idea, right?

It's like the Million Man March.

Yeah, okay. All right, I'll talk to you later. Bye.

Hey. Hey.

They're getting flooded with calls on the West Side.

I tell you where they're not gonna close a firehouse:

Where the mayor lives.

Guarantee it, his block. Open firehouse.

So that's it, we're done? Great, and I just got started.

No, it's no big thing. I'll make a couple of calls

and make sure we get reassigned to a house together

that's busy like this. Great.

I think I still got a couple of favors downtown.

[SCOFFS]

What? Nothing.

That wasn't your nothing face, that was a something face.

No, this is my regular face.

It's not your regular face. That's your

"I wanna say something, but I don't wanna say,

because I'm afraid I'm gonna get yelled at" face. What's going on?

[SIGHS]

All right, don't get me wrong. All right?

You know, the job is great,

I feel like I'm getting good at it.

Uh-huh. But, uh,

I don't know, seeing you the other day

glued to your seat in the kitchen--

Listen, ask the guys. It's never happened before,

never gonna happen again. It was a one-time thing.

Well, I'm just saying.

The impact of losing that little girl had on you

got me thinking.

I don't know, do I really wanna go through

that kind of disappointment and pain

day after day? Ah, ah, ah.

Anger, heartache, yeah, whatever. Agita.

That's not just this. That's anything.

It's life. It's called life, asshole.

No, that's called your life.

Maybe I don't want that kind of life.

All the angst and drama and bullshit.

[SIGHS]

Look, I know I got the brains and the balls

to do the job, all right?

My old man, he'd be proud, I know that.

So mission accomplished.

Now I got this great girl who likes me

and things have been cool with my mom

and now I'm thinking maybe I could make

just as big a difference doing something else.

Yeah? What else? I don't know.

Off the top of my head, um,

how about something that doesn't involve me

getting fried up in a fire. Mm-hm. Okay.

Who you been talking to? Nobody.

Penny. Uh-huh. Penny.

Penny wants you to quit?

No, Penny wants me to do whatever makes me happy.

Unlike you. You just want me to do what you want me to do.

Or what you think my dad would want me,

which is pretty much the same thing.

Now I'm even more sure that I don't want to do it.

[CAR HORN HONKING] Fine with me.

Yeah, you know what? You want to treat me like a son,

try acting like a father.

Back off and let me do what's best for me.

You got it.

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[CROWD CHANTING INDISTINCTLY]

I swear I had no idea. Bullshit.

Seriously, it's bad enough you banged her after Jimmy died.

I thought two family members

in the same crazy vagina was enough.

Who the hell does she think she is, Marilyn Monroe?

She's doing this to get inside my head.

More like Damian's.

She's got Mick in his ear about quitting the job.

I knew it. I knew it.

Goddamn traitor.

His behavior is completely unacceptable.

That's rich coming from, uh, the guy who shot me.

Desperate times, desperate measures.

I don't need to tell you.

That booze baptismal that you gave Colleen,

that was a stroke of genius.

I thought I was extreme.

You're like AA's very own Evil Knievel.

Everyone's wondering when you're gonna come to a meeting.

We got a wait list longer than Harvard Law.

You're telling people at other meetings what I did?

Oh, yeah, they drink it in like a case of Pabst.

Ah, just do me a favor, okay? Stop bragging about it.

It's not something I'm particularly proud of.

It works. I know it works,

but it wasn't pretty and it wasn't easy.

Nothing worth doing ever is. Maybe so.

I'm gonna go beat the shit out of him right now.

No, hold on, sonny.

You go over there and start throwing haymakers

you're gonna make the situation here worse. Relax.

All right.

Gentlemen. Hey.

Father Phil, this is, uh, my Uncle Teddy.

The triggerman.

I only shoot drunk drivers and close family.

So unless you decide to get hooched up

and get behind the wheel, you're safe.

Good to know. How's Colleen?

She's good. Takes a sip of alcohol,

like a minute later she pukes her guts out.

Congratulations. An Irish bulimic.

Yeah.

He's a true Renaissance man.

Who's that?

TOMMY: That's my asshole cousin, the ex-priest.

And that's the probie.

No, no, no. I mean the dame.

Oh. That's Sheila.

Remember I told you me and her had that thing?

And now she's sleeping with your cousin? That's cold.

But I definitely know the type.

We don't know for certain

anybody's sleeping with anybody. You know?

What?

There's some things I might not know, Thomas,

but one thing I know for certain:

That lady right there,

a total collar chaser.

Really?

What do you mean?

You think firefighters, rock stars, and ball players

are the only one with groupies?

There's a certain group of ladies,

they go gooey for the collar. Really?

They hop in the sack with a priest

and it's no holds barred. They can be as dirty as they want

and when it's all finished they get total absolution

for all the sick and twisted things they did and said.

It's one-stop shopping.

Or so I've heard.

You want to meet her?

Does Jesus have a really lame beard?

Lead on, brother. Come on.

Bye.

Teddy, is my collar straight? Put that brick down!

Sorry about the house closing. Tough break.

Father Phil this is Sheila, Sheila this is Father Phil.

When it rains it pours.

You are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on.

[LAUGHS]

Mickey Gavin. How are you?

Uh, where do you practice?

Our Lady of Redemption. We have movie nights Wednesday.

We're showing Grease, you should come by.

Oh, God. Grease is just like my most favorite-ist movie ever.

Everybody loves Grease.

I hated Grease. Those guys are all fags.

Well, I guess it's not for everybody I suppose.

It's a little highbrow.

[GIGGLES]

ALL [CHANTING]: Save our firehouse! Save our firehouse!

Save our firehouse! Save our firehouse!

Hey, what the hell is going on here?

We got shut down.

I'm talking about these people.

It's a protest, which they seem to enjoy doing.

You encouraging this shit?

I'm certainly not condemning it.

This is your reaction?

It's only gonna make matters worse.

Look, you wanna be soft, you be soft.

But we're pissed off, these people are pissed off,

and we got a right to let the people in charge know.

There are proper channels.

Told you young guys becoming boss too soon.

You got no nose for protocol.

But I'm a bloodhound when it comes to bullshit.

You guys smell that? Huge whiff.

Yeah, I smell it too. You step in something?

You little shit bird.

I hope you like Staten Island,

because that's where your ass

is gonna end up when the dust settles.

There's a school burning down on 117 and there are no available units.

Are there kids in there? It's a school, dip shit.

We're gonna respond to this call ourselves.

Lou, Black Shawn, and Damian you come with me,

we'll take Tommy's truck. Tommy! Come on, lets go.

The rest of us, Niels' rig.

Niels' rig?

I guess you missed out on the cash for clunkers thing?

This is my grandma's car, chief.

It's got sentimental value.

[HORN HONKS]

Take 115th street. That runs west.

Just do it.

[HORN HONKS]

They're gonna Kill themselves.

You guys okay?

TEDDY: I was okay before the crash.

Great driving, Niels.

Your grandmother is gonna be pissed.

It's okay, chief, she's dead.

Come on, we're going to have to hoof it. Let's go.

Ted, you mind staying with Grandma's car?

Go ahead. I hate to run anyway.

Oh, this will buff right out.

[CROWD CHATTERING]

You got any tools? Grab whatever you can.

NEEDLES: You take the second floor,

Lou and I are gonna take the third.

Be careful. There are no available units,

we're gonna be on our own for a while.

Where am I going? You're not going.

You don't know if you wanna be a firefighter,

you work crowd control.

I don't want to. I wanna work with you.

Don't go in there, you don't have any tools or any gear.

But I got a hell of a slap shot.

I'm coming in. No, Father.

I need you to stay here. Keep these people clam.

Do me a favor, video tape this.

You're kidding? Just get us coming out.

It's gonna be our ace in the hole, trust me.

What are you doing? I'm going in.

You're not. They've got enough to do without you.

They need our help. You got your job,

you're crowd control. I'm gonna be Spielberg here.

Danny Zuko would go in there.

[FIRE ALARM RINGING]

Hello! F.D.N.Y.

F.D.N.Y.

Fire Department. Hey, guys.

Hello? [YELLING]

Sir, calm down, we're with the F.D.N.Y.

Upstairs! What's with this guy?

I think he's loaded.

I think he's deaf. Yeah, he is.

SHAWN: How do you know?

Because I have a deaf sister.

Colleen never mentioned you had a deaf sister.

Over here. Okay, sir.

There you go. Follow him out.

[CHILDREN WHIMPERING]

How did you do in chemistry class in high school?

Not good. Stabbed a couple of frogs.

How about you? Aced it.

Really? Yeah, straight A's.

You go first. Of course.

[BOTH GRUNT]

SHAWN: Are you okay? Are you okay?

You okay? Get the window.

Save your breath. All right, guys.

[COUGHING]

[HORN HONKING]

Hey, where they at? Second floor.

SHAWN: Come on, come on!

Damian! Damian! No!

Here. Keep shooting, just keep shooting.

Jesus Christ!

DAMIAN: Frank!

FRANCO: I got her.

Heads up! Heads up!

Here you go.

DAMIAN: I got her. Got her.

PHIL: Hey, fella, how you doing?

Just take a little walk over there.

FRANCO: Any more? SHAWN: No.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Oh, Father Phil.

Those guys that just saved the kids, are they firemen?

[CHUCKLES]

They used to be.

[SIRENS WAILING]

You good, man? Yeah, you all right?

Yeah. Phew. Wow!

Listen, Tommy, I wanted to talk to you, man.

[, uh, just wanted to apologize.

You know, I mean, I was, uh--

What I did was just completely out of line.

You're my friend and I feel like I betrayed you.

You know, Janets your wife. Yeah.

I didn't have any business hanging around there.

Poking my nose in places-- What was it you guys were doing?

It was just like, you know, like a momentary flirtation.

You know what I mean? In my mind, kind of.

So you didn't touch my wife's ass?

No, no, no. I would never.

No, it never got physical. Okay.

Not in any way. You know, I had thoughts.

I saw her ass.

She's got a great...

You know. She's your wife. She's a beautiful lady.

She is.

You know what I'm saying? She's a great lady.

She's banging, really.

I'm overreaching, that was the wrong word.

Not banging.

She's, um, beautiful.

You said banging.

Banging.

I guess I did...

I did say banging.

So we're good?

What about us? You and me? Are we--? We're cool, man?

I can't believe

I let a pussy like you beat the shit out of me.

Let? That's bullshit. Come on, man.

I gave you the Sugar Shane

Mayweather, Manny Pacquiao business, son.

Yeah, you did, you did. And I deserved it.

Yeah, we're cool. Solid, brother.

Squashed.

Come on, I want to show you my new hunting rifle.

What?

Unh, goddamn it. Unh. [CELL PHONE RINGING]

[GROANS]

Yeah?

Katy has a sleepover, and Wyatt's gonna go

with Colleen to Shawn's, so we're in the clear.

What time's good?

Ooh, let's say 8:30.

Okay, and what should I wear?

How about nothing?

To dinner?

Right, dinner.

You didn't think that--?

No, dinner. I've been thinking about dinner all day.

Yeah? And where are we going?

Where are we going for dinner? We're going to--

I thought you said you've been thinking about dinner?

I have. We are going to Davio's for dinner.

Davio's?

That place was a dump five years ago.

That place is a dump. [WHISPERING] Silvios.

New restaurant, outrageous reviews.

Silvios. Silvios?

That new place downtown? Lobster frioli is to die for.

Their lobster frioli is to die for.

I love lobster frioli. What?

Be ready at 7. Be ready at 7.

Wear the low cut fuscia dress.

And wear the low cut fuschia dress.

Fuschia? Hot pink.

Hot pink.

Okay, well, your wish is my command.

Hey, why 77?

Why 7?

Because you have two tickets

to Tony Bennett at the Blue Note at 9.

Because we have two tickets to Tony Bennett

at the Blue Note at 9.

Tommy, that is amazing.

Yeah!

Uh, do I not know how to...?

Swing, baby, swing.

Swing, baby, swing.

Swing? What?

Ill-- I'll see you then.

Okay. Hey, I am really excited.

TOMMY: Okay. Bye. JANET: Bye.

What was the swing thing?

I got a little carried away.

The Tony Bennett tickets are mine.

They are extremely hard to get. I can't believe you.

But the food, Silvios, it's off the map.

You're gonna wanna have sex right on the table

but don't, because they frown on it.

Unless you get a seat in the back,

in which case they might just wanna watch.

That little deaf mute kid just gave me the finger.

Ehh!

[TOMMY AND JANET SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Tommy, I just want to say before we eat, drink, and be merry,

um, that I'm gonna try really hard

to make tonight as wonderful

as you have made it in the planning stages.

Honey, I didn't really do anything.

Tommy, you did.

Okay, I did.

So I want tonight to be special for us too.

None of the old bitterness.

I know that I can sometimes be too demanding or disappointed,

or expect you to say and do certain things or read my mind,

but tonight it's a new leaf.

I'm gonna go with the flow and have no expectations.

Cool. Great.

And I'm so excited to see Tony Bennett.

I know. Awesome.

Yeah. Yeah.

Napkin. Hm?

Napkin. Oh, right.

Yes.

Oh, Tommy, this menu.

What? That's it?

Huh? [CHUCKLES]

You know what you're ordering?

Yeah, I'm getting that lobster thing.

Do you even know what that is?

It's lobster.

I mean, it's a nice restaurant.

It's probably a giant lobster with a shit load of butter.

They're Italians, they do all kinds of special stuff.

Wanna know something else that I've, uh, decided?

That you're going to have that shrimp thing?

As an appetizer?

How did you know that?

I guess that we've just been together so long

that I can read your mind. We have a--

Connection, right? You just--

If only I could, vice versa,

it would make things so much better.

No, I've decided something else

while I'm in my, ahem,

super decisive mood.

Hm.

I have decided that you have

the most beautiful eyes on the planet.

And your tits, I just...

Hey.

Hi. So we have a few specials this evening.

Okay, cool.

WAITER: We have a brasato al Barolo,

a braised beef with porcini mushrooms.

We are also having guancia ripiena

with fontina and sage,

eggplant caponata, and broccoli rabe pesto.

Okay, that sounds so good.

Yeah, it sounds-- What is it?

It's a prosciutto wrapped veal cheek.

Aw.

TOMMY: Wow, prosciutto.

Um, is that, veal cheek, is that "cheek" cheek?

Or is it the ass cheek?

It's served, as I said, with fontina and sage.

Hm. Sounds good.

I saw them once in concert.

Excellent Simon and Garfunkel tribute band.

Fontina? Sage?

You know, Fontina and Sage?

Come on, that's funny.

For dessert, we have, um, this spiced chestnut budino.

Oh. It comes with cherry marmalata

and maraschino zabaione.

That sounds heavenly. It's exquisite.

And, uh, what is it?

Budino.

No, no. I heard that. Is it a cake?

No. Is it a pie?

No.

TOMMY: It's gotta have a cherry thing going on

because you mentioned-- It's like a cherry marma...?

Marmalata. Is that a jelly?

A cherry jelly? No.

Didn't you say some kind of maraschino--

Maraschino. Is that-- Ow!

You know what? I think that I will order now.

Yes, we're ready to order.

Um, you know, that budino sounds heavenly.

I'm definitely gonna end with that.

And then I was thinking--

We don't even know what it is yet.

It's pudding. It's chestnut pudding.

It's pudding? Yeah.

Pudino means pudding?

WAITER: Budino. Bu-- Budino?

Okay, yeah.

That's Italian for...? Yeah.

Really? Yep.

Is that like a recently added Italian word?

Yeah, yeah. Just now.

I made it up two hours ago because I was bored.

Really? JANET: You wanna know what?

I think that I'm gonna cancel my order.

I have tickets for Tony Bennett and he goes on at 9.

We have tickets. That will only give me

an hour and a half to find a replacement

for this stronzo.

TOMMY: Honey?

Honey.

Tony Bennett, huh?

Yeah. Yeah. Great.

She's just gonna go-- Enjoy.

What? Hey?

What an asshole.

Hey, honey, wait a minute.

What are you--?

Okay, well, call me when you know.

What? We're leaving?

I should've known better. What?

We can't do anything nice. This is a nice place.

I'm going to Tony Bennett with Marcia.

What? Give me the tickets.

The tickets are mine. I'm going.

They're half mine.

You're gonna be sitting next to me.

You're gonna be sitting next to Marcia.

Marcia's gonna be sitting next to Lou.

Just give me the goddamn tickets.

Hey! Hey! Hey! Mind your business.

Mind your own business. Private conversation.

You too. What are you looking at?

Two people having a conversation. Christ.

Just give me the goddamn tickets.

You want the tickets? Yeah.

You want the tickets? Yeah.

Do you have the tickets?

Here you go, okay? Go ahead.

Go enjoy it with fat ass Marcia.

I'm gonna sit down and eat my meal.

What do you think of that?

Damn it!

Do you know the shit I went through to get these?

Oh? Yeah.

And was with that language bullshit in there?

There's so much shit that you don't know about me.

Oh, really, like what?

Maybe I decided to learn a new language.

Yeah? To challenge myself

or better myself in the very, very, very off chance

that we might go on a trip overseas somewhere.

You know what the funny thing is?

I actually learned the dirty words first.

I thought that you might think they were funny.

Oh, really? Yeah.

I swear to God...

Then I lost interest in it. You know why?

Because my whole goddamn world fell apart

when two planes flew into a couple of buildings

and you disappeared into a bottle

and in between the legs of your cousin's wife!

Knock it off!

MAN: Hey!

Knock it off!

Stop it. Relax.

[CROWD CHATTERING]

Purse?

Yeah. Thank you.

Are you okay? She's fine.

She doesn't look fine.

She's fine, all right?

If I had a woman like that,

I wouldn't treat her like this.

Mind your own goddamn business, okay, De Niro Face?

Because I'm Italian? Brilliant, brilliant.

How about I get a mohawk and mess with you,

mess you up a little? How's that?

Or maybe I'll call the cops.

Go ahead. I'm going to.

Go. I'm going to right now.

I'll be right back. I'm talking to you.

I'm talking to you, Simon and Garfunkel.

What? What did he say?

Simon and Garfunkel.

Tommy, I didn't care about the tickets.

Okay? I wanted to be happy.

I wanted you to be my husband, I wanted a house,

just simple things.

I'm sorry.

I can't go back and undo what I did and whatever happened,

but I can just start now and try to do--

Mr. & Mrs. Gavin?

TOMMY: Yeah.

Hey. Joey?

Yeah.

Uh, what are you doing here?

I work here. They sent me out because I said I knew you.

They were gonna call the cops.

I told them you guys do stuff like this all the time.

But that it's okay, that you're cool.

Yeah, yeah. He just overreacted.

Crazy, crazy that guy.

You're so tall. Heh.

Yeah. How old are you now?

I'm 17.

Wow. Seventeen.

Gosh, I have a photo of you and Connor

when you guys aren't even up to my waist.

From baseball camp? Right.

Yeah. I have that picture too.

How's Colleen?

She's good. She's doing great.

She's, uh, great. Good.

What?

Do I have something on my face?

No, no. No.

Connor probably would've been a lot taller than me now.

Yeah, he was always a string bean.

Yeah. He was always bigger then me.

Well, I should get back inside.

Okay.

It was nice seeing you.

Hey, tell your parents we said, you know, hey.

Yeah, tell Colleen that I said hey.

All right. Nice seeing you.

JOEY: Yeah.

Jesus, he's huge.

[SNIFFLES]

[TONY BENNETT'S "IT HAD TO BE YOU" PLAYING]

♪ It had to be you ♪

♪ It had to be you ♪

♪ I wandered around And finally found ♪

♪ The somebody who ♪

♪ Could make me be true ♪

♪ Could make me be blue ♪

♪ Or even be glad ♪

♪ Justto be sad ♪

♪ Thinking of you ♪

♪ Some others I've seen ♪

♪ Might never be mean ♪

♪ Might never be cross ♪

♪ Or try to be boss ♪

♪ But they wouldn't do ♪

♪ For nobody else ♪

♪ Nobody else Gave me a thrill ♪

♪ With all your faults ♪

♪ I love you still ♪

♪ It had to be you ♪

[♪♪]