Original subtitles

ANNOUNCER: Previously: You're drinking too much.

Give me another. I'm learning a valuable lesson.

Pat Mahoney.

What the hell you doing here? I have cancer.

Nobody's gonna give a shit. Don't worry about anything.

You're in good hands. I'm gonna take care of everything.

The guys wanted me to get information about your cookout.

Yeah, same with the guys in my house.

I thought you might have some answers.

Who is one person that's been there with you

through the thick and the thin?

My wife.

I can tell just looking at that picture

that that is a woman you don't let slip away.

Maybe that's what now.

Hey.

You have a clogged pipe. You know, drain.

Yeah, so I called him.

You two have got to be shitting me.

Can you come pick me up?

Did Colleen get into that bottle?

Here. Let me tell you something else.

We laced the bottle.

So my little girl is out there sick somewhere.

This is all my fault.

Just find her, Tommy.

I got her!

Hey!

Coll. Colleen? [COUGHS]

Hey. Hey.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Hey. Hey. How you doing?

Good.

Hey. What's the new meeting you're going to?

Brand new one.

Loose. I think you're gonna like it.

I'll text you the info and the address later, okay?

Nice to have you back in tow, brother.

Nice being back.

How are you feeling?

Great. Head's clear as a bell.

Nerves nice and calm and I remember everything I said

and did last night.

Sucks, but guess I gotta get used to it.

The new me.

I'm thinking of taking Colleen to this new meeting

that Mickey's been talking about.

Well, good luck with that.

I just spoke with Shawn.

She's staying at his house, coming home drunk every night.

So it's like, basically, the double barrel bender thing,

the blackout thing never happened?

Yeah. Apparently not.

I mean, she's young, dumb and a Gavin.

Mm-hm.

Hm.

Welcome back to sobriety.

I just wish we could say the same to our daughter.

Maybe when she hits menopause.

[SIRENS WAILING]

Franco, get the saw. We gotta cut the pin.

All right. Oh, shit.

Got eyes on a driver?

She's over there. LOU: Go, Mike.

SHAWN: Hey, probie. Grab some shears.

Move out. Move out. Move out.

SHAWN: Come on. Hurry up.

TOMMY: No. Not that one.

[SAW WHIRRING]

Aw, shit.

[ALL CHATTERING]

Got it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring her back.

I'm guessing she wasn't the designated driver.

Classic. The drunks ones, they walk away unscathed.

Like goddamn Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots.

SHAWN: Heads up.

Hang on, hang on.

Okay. Grab the head.

Okay.

[GRUNTING]

Wait, Tom. Tom!

What?

Her neck is broken. Yeah?

Tom.

TOMMY: Shit!

Her neck is broken, Tom.

What? LOU: Everything's gonna be fine.

Take it easy.

Hey, hey. What are you doing to my sister?

Hey. Hey!

Damian, go and stop her, will you?

[ALL SHOUTING]

WOMAN: You get off of me!

She's gone, Tom.

Shit.

[FIREFIGHTERS CHATTERING]

WOMAN: Don't touch me. I'm dizzy.

DAMIAN: Take a deep breath.

Thought I had it.

[WOMAN & FIREFIGHTERS ARGUING INDISTINCTLY]

[SIGHS]

She reminds you of someone, doesn't she?

Hey, hey!

Get off me. TOMMY: Yeah.

They both do.

[THE VON BONDIES' "C'MON, C'MON" PLAYING]

♪ On another day C'mon, cmon ♪

♪ With these ropes tied tight Can we do no wrong? ♪

♪ Now we grieve 'Cause now it's gone ♪

♪ Things were good When we were young ♪

♪ When my teeth bite down I can see the blood ♪

♪ Of a thousand men Who have come and gone ♪

♪ Now we grieve 'Cause now it's gone ♪

♪ Things were good When we were young ♪

♪ Is it safe to stay? ♪ ♪ C'mon, cmon ♪

♪ Was it right to leave? ♪ C'mon, c'mon ♪

♪ Will I ever learn? ♪ ♪ C'mon, cmon ♪

♪ C'mon, ¢'/mon C'mon, cmon ♪

Lou, what are you making over there?

The smell alone is giving me a woody.

That might be the most disturbing compliment

that I've ever received,

but understood and graciously accepted.

Chicken cutlets in a white wine, shallot and mushroom reduction.

Ooh. I think I just shot a mushroom reduction of my own.

Probie, I don't want to hear

about your woody and your reduction.

More than the usual?

[MOCKING TONE] More than the usual.

Is this cook-off ever gonna jump off?

Day after tomorrow.

The Wildmen panicked after they heard we busted Lou

out of the hospital and decided to postpone

a couple days to re-strategize.

Say it again.

No. Didn't think so.

So we found out that they postponed how?

Our probie found out from their probie Penny. Inside man.

FRANCO: Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.

What's up, probiscus? What's the 411?

You get inside or are you still on the outside looking in?

I already feel like a dick

telling you guys about this cook-off shit.

I'm not about to spill the details

of my getting into Penny's pants.

Yeah. Outside looking in.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

The first date went to shit?

No, no. All right, here's what happened, okay?

I took her out for a nice dinner.

We got some beers afterwards.

We're talking, laughing, drinking.

I'm getting pretty shitfaced.

I go to the bathroom to take a leak, come back out and boom,

she, uh, ditched me.

Oh! Of course she did.

SEAN: Take your shirt off? She got scared?

Don't underestimate me. Too late.

If I'd had taken my shirt off,

I guarantee I would've sealed the deal that night.

Chicks dig the white meat.

Oh, my God. Not as much

as they dig the dark meat, brother.

Sorry, Tom.

So, uh, she effectively froze you out?

Maybe I'll call her.

Maybe I'll call her.

Not so fast, assholes.

We're going out again.

You gonna beg for a second date?

That's pathetic, bro. No. She called me.

Mm. Mysterious woman. I likes that.

The whole point of this is that our friend

is gonna get us inside information

on the Wildmen's menu, all right? And I want details.

Look, guys, this cookouts important.

We screw it up, may be the end of this house.

Don't forget that.

Jesus Christ.

I just shit an Inca temple.

[ALL LAUGH] I'm cooking here.

NEEDLES: The thing had gold in it.

Here's the best part: I barely had to wipe.

That's how perfect it was. ALL: Wow.

Clean break. One sheet.

[ALL CHATTERING]

Very impressed. Congratulations.

Thank you.

I just made a great shit comparison.

You're not even gonna crack a smile for me?

Congratulations.

All right. She's not the first kid we lost, Tom.

She's not gonna be the last, either.

We can't save everyone.

No, we can't.

[ALARM BUZZING]

NEEDLES: Let's go.

LOU: My reduction.

NEEDLES: Don't worry about your reduction.

It's gonna be fine.

[AUTOMATED VOICE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA]

Tommy, let's go.

All right. She reminds you of your daughter.

I get it, okay, Tommy?

God forbid Colleen ever puts her or her sister

in that situation, but this is here and this is now.

We'll deal with that later.

Come on.

Remember Johnny Panface?

Brooklyn, uh, 68 Truck?

Yeah. Half Irish, half Asian.

He liked to get drunk and kick shit. So?

Two kids died on him one day on a call.

You probably remember this story.

And he, uh,

got back to the firehouse and he...

He peeled off and he walked away.

I think-- I think he became a teacher.

Yeah, well, you ain't no teacher, Tommy.

Come on.

I used to-- I used to think that he was nuts.

I mean, we all did, right?

I'm...

I'm starting to think maybe I'm--

Maybe... I don't know.

I tell you, Needs, I...

Girl today, uh...

Uh, she hit me.

[FIRE ENGINE STARTS]

It's like I'm stuck in cement over here, man. I can't...

See, that's because

there's no alcohol in your system, Tommy.

Just get up.

I ain't getting up.

Yo, come on. We got a call.

What are you guys doing? Get on the rig.

Go get on the rig.

You too.

All right, look.

We'll talk about it, all right?

When I get back, we'll talk all about it.

Talk about this.

We'll talk about your daughters.

But right now your daughters ain't getting on that truck

and heading into a life-and-death situation.

You know who is?

Your nephew, Tommy.

And the rest of your crew.

All right.

You stay here.

And if you see your balls, pick them up.

When I get back, I'll staple them back on you.

Chicken shit.

[SIREN WAILING]

[DISPATCH RADIO CHATTERING]

WOMAN [OVER RADIO]: Sixty-Two Truck, cancel call 1281 Amsterdam.

False alarm. Copy.

[TRUCK THUDS]

What the hell was that?

Might have lost a wheel. I better check.

What's going on?

Flat tire.

What do we got here?

Oh, boy. Nielsie.

Oh, shit.

You know, I would try mouth-to-mouth,

but I only do that with live pussy.

Not that I remember.

Don't worry about it, Niels.

I didn't even see her.

Too bad Tommy isn't here to see this. He hates cats.

Probably put you up for a medal, Niels.

Yeah, if he's not on his way to knitting class.

What is that supposed to mean?

What do you think?

He got a little rattled, that's all.

FRANCO: A lot of guys get rattled and they never recover.

Spend the rest of their lives like cowards.

Whoa. Who you calling a coward?

I think I was pretty clear the first time.

No, no. You got some balls, Franco.

You're trying to get with my man's wife behind his back.

You wanna see a coward, try looking in the mirror, slick.

Bro, if that were true

that would make me an asshole, not a coward.

Be an asshole and a coward. Wasn't trying to get with her.

Bullshit. You've been over there all the time.

He's not there, there you are.

Prowling around his house and shit?

If he was taking care of business, she wouldn't call.

So now you gonna place some blame on her?

That sound like some coward-ass shit to me.

Why don't you step up and take some responsibility, punk?

I'll be stepping up your ass with my size 13's.

Hey, come on, guys. Taking responsibility?

What about your drunk-ass girlfriend?

How come you ain't keeping that pussy in line, bitch?

Come on, come on.

You wanna fight? We can fight, man.

Take it easy. Hey, hey, hey.

Let them fight. What?

This animosity has been building between these two.

We don't stop it now, it's gonna fester.

We got enough of that shit going on right now.

We fight, but listen, when the fight's over,

the argument's over. Done.

Agreed. SHAWN: Let's go.

Twenty on Franco.

Don't go getting all spic on me and pull a knife.

Don't get all black on me and pull out a gun.

What's up? Come on.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

WOMAN 1: Oh, my God!

Gumball! That's my cat.

Oh, no! Please.

That's my cat. Oh, my God, Gumball.

WOMAN 2: Knock it off!

MAN: You guys gonna let them do that?

Hey, folks, there's nothing to see here.

Just a couple of West Side Wildmen

blowing off a little steam, so go back to your houses.

Everything's-- Ah, shit.

[SIREN BLARES]

LOU: Here come the men in blue.

Guys, don't even get out of the car.

Just a little... Break this up.

...in-house fracas going on. Nothing to worry about.

This ain't in-house. Step aside, fatty.

Don't call me fatty. That's rude.

If you skipped a meal, I could get around you.

You're not gonna get around me.

You're not gonna get around me.

That's enough!

Frankie, break these assholes up.

All right, knock it off!

Knock it off! That's enough.

Enough. Shawn, break it up.

He started it. Walk away.

Walk away.

Come on, Lou. We should arrest all of you.

Nobody needs the paperwork. I know I don't. Let's walk away.

Let's forget this happened.

You go back to your house. We'll take care of this.

Thank you, gentlemen. Thank you very much.

OFFICER: Clean up your trash, please.

Nielsie?

I murdered Gumball.

WOMAN 1: No. DAMIAN: All right?

Listen, Gavin isn't even in the mix.

See? I guess Tommy's not the cause of all your problems.

Go back to the rig and get the med kit.

Put Nielsie in there.

Nobody wants to see a goddamn redwood cry.

Move. Niels, get on the rig.

All this before lunch.

Wasn't my fault. I just want to go on record.

I did nothing but help to break it up.

So you're not afraid? No.

You're just...? Done.

Done. Right.

I know you can't drink anymore, but I sure as hell can.

I think you are afraid.

I think...

Are you ready for this?

I think you're a coward.

[SCOFFS]

Take it back.

It's true.

[SIGHS]

If you didn't have that baseball bat

leaning against that wall next to you,

I'd hit you so hard you'd be shitting teeth

for the next 10 days. Take it back.

Take your best shot.

Sinner.

Demon.

Chickenshit.

Not afraid to hit a priest. I got a cousin

who used to be a priest. Hit him many times,

even when he was wearing the collar.

Yeah? Yeah.

You would've swung already if you didn't know inside

that thick mick head of yours that I'm right.

I'm right as goddamn rain.

Coward.

You ain't afraid of fire.

Ain't afraid of running in there and staying in there longer

than anybody else. I've seen that with my own two eyes.

No. As far as fire's concerned,

you got a pair of titanium testicles.

So, it's gotta be something else that stuck in your throat.

Instead of your balls. And let me guess.

Karma.

I got you nailed down on this one, I think.

How's that?

You feel like the nasty-assed lousy behavior you indulged in,

especially since 9/11--

The sex, the booze, the egotistical stuff.

- -it somehow gets all balanced out by what you do.

Saving kids. Pulling people back from the brink.

But if these kids, if these people,

do not cooperate with you, if they die and they stay dead,

no matter what kind of magic you trying to work

the scores don't add up.

The bad karma gets the upper hand on the good karma.

You're screwed.

The people you're supposed to rescue?

They don't do what you want.

Colleen doesn't do what you want.

So you know what you do? You quit.

You take the coward's way. You quit.

Suck it up, brother.

Here's a headline for you: "You ain't Jesus."

So just get back on that bus. Go to work.

Some people die sober, some drunks,

they won't die. Who knows why?

No. You know what I believe in?

What?

I believe in karma.

I believe in good deeds done.

What else do we have on this earth?

You,

do what you can.

Be a man.

Jump off that rig, run into the fire,

and breathe life back into a dead baby.

Pull a senior citizen back out into light of day.

That is legal tender come Judgment Day.

If you believe in Judgment Day.

You really don't, uh--

You don't, uh,

believe in any of the traditional Catholic heaven

and hell and any of that stuff that's in the Bible?

Nope.

I run a practical parish.

Thus the baseball bat. The booze.

No hell, no heaven.

All right.

This is like-- This is good.

This is like-- You're like one of them guys

the Jewish guys go and talk to.

Rabbi?

No. Shrink.

It's like when Jewish guys talk to a shrink.

This is... I like it. It's good.

Anytime. You know where to find me.

Thanks, padre.

[CROWD CHATTERING]

SEAN: Ah, what'd I tell you?

Always dreamed of this. The ballet. Wow.

Hey, I was stationed in this neighborhood

about 15 years ago, always used to drive by this place at night

going out to calls.

But this is the first time I ever been a part of it.

Man, a night at the ballet.

[ALL LAUGH]

Dream come true.

What got you interested in the ballet in the first place?

You used to be a dancer?

No, no. I always wanted to have sex

with a chick who could brush her hair with her feet.

Oh, who doesn't?

Hey, I want you guys to know, state I'm in,

a lot of thoughts bounce around in my head.

I ought to let you know a couple.

Okay. Now that I'm facing the end,

I got a couple regrets.

Like cleaning up down at Ground Zero all that time?

No.

Even though, like, it might be the reason, you know...

What? I'm dying? Hey.

No, no. No. It's okay to say.

These regrets are more, uh, profound.

You know, like...

I always wanted to punch Dr. Phil in the face.

Oh, yeah. Me too.

And Regis. Oh.

He bugs me. Yeah.

Kids.

You want to punch kids?

Like that kid from The Sixth Sense?

I always wanted to punch him.

I don't wanna punch any kids.

How about that little shit from Jerry Maguire?

Okay, maybe I'd punch him.

But really, I just regret not having any.

Oh. Thats it?

Yeah. Oh.

But, hey, let's get rid of this downer shit.

This, seeing the ballet,

this is gonna overcome a lot of regrets.

I mean, maybe not the kid thing,

but definitely the bopping famous assholes

in the face thing.

I was always afraid to come here with other firemen,

because I figured they'd be so bored

they'd fall asleep or break my balls about it.

Not a chance this time, pal.

We are looking forward to it.

Hot dancers chicks in leotards?

Any guy who slept through that would have to be gay.

You've got that right, bro.

Gentlemen, the ballet awaits.

[ALL LAUGH]

So, uh, you said Teddy was coming.

He's supposed to be.

I think he's running a little late.

Hi. I'm Maggie and I'm an alcoholic.

ALL: Hi, Maggie.

MAGGIE: Hi. And when I say alcoholic

I mean like a gimungous alcoholic.

We're talking like Babe Ruth style drinking records

that may never ever be broken. What? It's anonymous.

Technically, I'm not even supposed to say she's here.

Technically?

...all in one night, and not only did I not puke,

I met a cute guy, we went out dancing,

and we went back to my pad and banged each other

until 8 a.m. the next day, all without blow.

[ALL LAUGH AND CLAP]

MAGGIE: But that might've been at his place.

Is there anyone coming back or just new from a relapse

that'd like to say hi? Uh, Tommy?

Yeah. That's my-- Yeah.

He's the one I was telling you about.

My brother Tommy. He is a raging alcoholic.

He makes me look like Shirley goddamn Temple.

[ALL LAUGH]

I'm Mickey. I'm an alcoholic.

Not for nothing-- ALL: Hi, Mickey.

Hi, everybody. Even though he is a raging bull

of a boozehound, you know, he's back.

I'll give him that.

Mickey's right, and he's not the only one coming back tonight.

Is he, Uncle Teddy?

You wanted to go with your Uncle Teddy.

This is not a party. Nice people.

We're gonna have a ball. Is that Aunt Maggie?

I didn't know you were drinking again.

Do you think she has any water?

Why don't you sit yourself down right over here?

Why? I don't-- Yeah. It'll be good.

Dad? Okay, wait a minute.

Uncle Mick? No, this is a goddamn AA meeting?

Sit down and shut up!

It's only gonna take a minute or two.

Maybe three.

Hi, everybody!

How's it hanging?

[ALL MUMBLE]

Well, well, well, if this doesn't suck my sac.

Why don't you introduce yourself?

Oh. Yeah. Right.

Hi. My name is Teddy Gavin,

and not only am I an alcoholic,

but I also got a glass of whiskey right here

in my goddamn hand.

ALL: Hi, Teddy.

And this here's Colleen, my niece,

who's also an alcoholic, but is not really up to admitting it

and owning up to it right now.

ALL: Hi, Colleen.

[ALL GASP] MAN: Very nice.

That, my fellow juiceheads,

is the last drink I shall ever draw.

I gave up my sobriety a few weeks back

and I'll tell you why.

Because I wanted this chick right here,

who swore to her dad that she was just gonna drink wine

instead of giving up booze altogether,

I wanted to compress what may have taken two decades

to flourish into a big drinking problem,

and I have it all happen in two weeks.

Speaking of owning up, I been taking her everywhere.

To every dive bar, every scumbag-filled, whore-packed

joint in the city, and it still ain't making a dent.

Who do we have to blame for that?

Let him talk. Let him talk. It's your fault.

You're both complicit. You did--

You put that bottle in my hand, okay?

She could've died. I was trying to help her!

You put some GHB in a high-end bottle of whiskey?

What'd you say? Just enough to mess them up

a little bit? Just sort of like liquid roofies, you know?

And not only does he take her out on a bender with him,

but he leaves her on a beach, drunk.

No, no-- Now she won't even stop.

Okay. That's not my fault.

You put liquid roofies into the bottle,

and you blame me? I was doing right.

Fine. What do you mean?

TOMMY: Shut up, Maggie.

Why don't make me, Tommy?

That's why we're here!

Don't you go anywhere. Get back here.

MICKEY: Listen, you talk about it right in here.

[ALL SHOUTING]

[PIANO PLAYING SOFT CLASSICAL MUSIC]

Maple syrup!

[AUDIENCE SHUSHING]

[SOBBING LOUDLY]

[COUGHING]

[AUDIENCE SHUSHING]

So, what's the deal with your uncle?

Are they gonna shitcan him?

Tommy? No.

No, him and Needles go way back.

The department's tried to kick him out

a thousand times and it's never worked.

Thank you.

So, what do you think happened to him?

I think he got scared.

That surprise you?

No. I think he's scared.

I think we're all scared.

Aren't you?

[SCOFFS]

I'm not...

Yeah, I'm scared.

Me too.

Yeah, you mentioned that already.

Mention it again and I might not sleep with you.

Mention what again?

MIKE: That was great.

SEAN: I feel so rested.

Those seats were the real deal. Weren't they, though? So plush.

So soft, bro. [PAT SCREAMS]

Jesus Christ! What? Did he see something?

[SCREAMS] Jeez. Come on, Pat.

You all right? I don't wanna die.

Okay. Goddamned it!

I don't wanna die! Okay.

Then what'd I do it all for?

Helping dig them guys out, doing the right thing.

For what? For 40 grand a year?

Nobody's gonna remember me, what I done down there,

not the way they're gonna remember

what that ballerina did in there tonight.

That's true. Did you see that pretzel move

with her leg, like, up behind--?

You were asleep already? That was five minutes in.

I told you to wake me for any hot stuff, dude.

You did not. Shit. I must've dreamt that.

I did see the whole clenched ass

toward the end with the walnuts.

Why didn't wake me for that?

Oh, wait. Sorry, dude.

False alarm. I must've dreamt that too.

Shit! Pat, what are you doing, man?

I am gonna piss in this fountain.

I asked you if you had to go when we were inside.

Oh, that ballerina.

When I looked at her, I thought to myself,

what power, what beauty, what grace.

Okay. Wouldn't I like to nail that?

Yeah. Only, I can't.

All that chemo gave me dysfunctional junk.

I'm only a shadow of the man I used to be.

I am an impotent, cancer-ridden, no-ballerina-banging loser.

And if that is what my life is gonna be,

I am gonna piss in this goddamn fountain.

Okay. Listen. [COUGHING]

Come here. Hey. Sit down. Turn around. Take a load off.

Jesus. You okay?

I'm good. Breathe deep. All right.

You know what we're gonna do for you?

We're gonna piss in the fountain. Come on.

I don't have to go, dude. Neither do I.

Let's go get some beers and come back.

[PAT COUGHING]

Come on.

You know, I don't care who it is

or what they have to say, I ain't quitting.

All right. Just do me the favor of listening

to this person, okay?

Doesn't work, I wash my hands and you can go on

and do whatever you want. You just woke up,

you know, from an alcohol-induced coma on a beach.

You know, you could've drowned.

They just said it was a laced bottle.

It wasn't regular booze.

I mean, I drank a whole bottle of whiskey

and never even came close to blacking out.

And you don't think you have a problem?

You do it all the time.

You know, my only problem right now is you.

And Mom.

And money.

How often do you drink?

COLLEEN: You know, whenever.

So...whenever?

Whenever I'm awake.

Do you drink to forget?

You bet your ass.

And what is it you're trying to forget?

Everything.

[SIGHS]

[POURING DRINK]

[SIGHS]

Go ahead.

Sorry, no ice.

Drink.

She's gonna wanna forget what I'm about to say next.

Booze isn't the answer you need, sweetheart.

Booze is a dead end.

You drink to forget. Good.

You wanna drink to forget. Good.

But what it is you're trying to forget,

is gonna be staring right back at you

whenever you decide to sober up.

Thou shalt not Kill, thou shalt not lie.

Honor thy father and thy mother.

No sex before marriage, no jealousy, no cursing.

Shit, how about you say "no fun"?

Because that's what my life is. It's no fun.

Unless I'm drinking.

When I'm sober, I am just waiting for the news

that my father got burned up or shot dead

or is leaving my mom again or is sleeping with my aunt.

You don't have enough commandments for him to break.

You know, when I am sober, I am fighting with my boyfriend,

or hating my sister, or watching the time crawl by

on the wall clock at work,

wishing that I was anywhere else.

But when I am drunk, my dad's the best dad in the world.

Work's just great, my sister's an angel,

and my mom's my best friend.

So I ain't quitting.

This bullshit?

You, Jesus, God?

None of this shit ever did me any good.

Until tonight.

Because tonight, I've had a couple free drinks.

So I say amen to that.

So long, Father.

See you in hell, Dad.

You know, we only perform exorcisms

usually on one person at a time,

but I think for the Gavin family,

I'll have to give you a group rate.

I'm sorry, Tom. I have to get back to the rectory.

Thanks.

[BELL TOLLING]

Colleen, hey.

What?

Got your bag.

How you getting home?

I texted Shawn while your priest friend was mouthing off.

[SIGHS]

Did you know that you, uh...

You were never baptized?

Little-known fact.

When you were born, you ingested some fluids

and you got an infection.

So they had you in the hospital

hooked up to a couple of machines for about a month.

The idea of bringing you into an environment like this

so you could be surrounded by strangers

and have your head dunked underwater was...

No, neither one of us had ever known,

uh, any kid that had been baptized who didn't cry.

We decided to have Uncle Mick come over to the apartment

and he did the honors.

Little official, unofficial thing,

but done deal nonetheless.

Boo-hoo.

God! Jesus! Dad! What the-- Oh, my God!

What the hell are you doing?

For your own good. No, goddamn it!

Dad! What are--?

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Listen, stop it. [COLLEEN SCREAMS]

Dad! What are you doing?

Dad!

Goddamn it. Stop it.

Dad! Stop it!

Dad, let go of me, Dad!

Stop! Stop, Dad!

Damn it.

What are you doing?

Dad!

Mom is gonna be so pissed!

Gonna be so-- Goddamn it!

Dad!

Dad, where the hell are you?

Why are you doing this to me?

Dad, get me out of this!

Dad! Dad, answer me.

What are you doing?

What are you doing? Dad!

You're crazy! I never want to talk to you ever again.

God, get me out of here.

Dad! Unh!

[COLLEEN SOBS]

I'll tell you what.

After you leave here,

you can do whatever you want with the rest of your life.

You can drink.

You can smoke.

You can go to hell for all I care.

But for the next five minutes, your ass is still mine.

You're holding me hostage.

This is against the law.

Daddy, let me go.

Stop looking at me.

You never had kids.

You wouldn't understand.

Get up. Stand up.

Dad! What are you doing?

Daddy, what are you doing?

Now listen to me.

Do you reject Satan? Aah!

Go to hell.

[GASPING]

Do you reject Satan?

I hate you.

[GASPING]

I'll stop, okay? Listen to me.

Do you reject Satan?

What the hell are you doing? TOMMY: Mind your own business.

PHIL: Tommy. Come any closer,

I'll knock you into next week.

Let her up. Let her up.

[GASPING]

Do you reject Satan and his empty promises?

What else do I say?

What are you looking at me? You seem to be doing fine.

Because I've seen The Godfather 900 times.

What else do I say? Uh...

You don't know? Jesus Christ.

I only saw The Godfather twice.

Do you reject sin, so as to live

in the freedom of God's children? Yes.

Do you reject the glamour of evil,

so as not to be mastered by sin?

Yes, fine!

Do you believe in the Holy Spirit?

The communion of saints?

The forgiveness of sin? Yes, goddamn it. Yes!

[PANTING]

Okay, Tom.

Tom, please let her up.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh.

Jeez. Oh, my God. Wait.

Jesus. Unh.

Come on, Col. Come on. [SIRENS APPROACHING]

Colleen!

Colleen!

Tommy, what happened? What happened?

She okay? Yeah. Yeah.

Get some towels.

Come on, baby. [COLLEEN COUGHS]

Yeah, that's good. Come on.

Oh, she's all right. She's okay.

Here. Thanks.

Put the other one over there.

Oh. There you go.

You okay?

Looks like Sister Rosemary called the law.

Oh, shit. I'll go see what I can do.

Ah. It's okay.

Here. Let me have this.

SHAWN: It's okay. I got you, baby.

I'm here.

Well, thank God you've done your job.

Now we'll let them do theirs.

All right. All right.

Keep an eye on her for me.

OFFICER: Sir. You wanna come this way, please?

SHAWN: It's okay, baby.

All right.

Watch yourself.

OFFICER: Outside, let's go.

Colleen, it's okay.

[♪♪]